THE ENHYPEN HOST || 15
THE ENHYPEN HOST || 15
|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS
WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.
GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers
PREVIOUS (FF) CHAPTER:
FIRST CHAPTER:
When I wake up I am not in Niki's room. It's the first thing I notice, I can't help but rise up startled to look around, am I already in cage? Is this how this day begins? Did Niki let him do it or did he wait for him to come out?
I sigh, still wearing last night's tshirt, briefs, and my mouth is bitter from smoking and not brushing my teeth, too tired.
Sunghoon enters in his room, he has an all too smug smile, seems to almost feel pity for me, I should too.
"You even bothered to bring me here?"
"I didn't feel like waiting for you to wake up from Niki's room." Amment serene.
I sneer, annoyed, as I get off his bed. "What are the plans for today?"
"What do you think?"
"I'm not going to do anything with you."
I hear him burst out laughing as I sigh looking at Heeseung's chat, did the idiot really send me the morning?
"What did you do yesterday? With Niki."
I lift my tired, sleepy gaze to his, then smile. "We did it every which way, first I was on top of him, then him. Forward, back, I had him all over." I see him laughing, yes, he's laughing, but only because he doesn't want to show that he's bothered by this, after all, he knows it could have really happened (and it did, but not in these ways and certainly not lightly).
"Oh yeah? So you like the much smaller ones? Gross."
"Riki is my bias, after all." I laugh too, walking to leave the room.
He doesn't stop me but follows me, and I go to the kitchen to make myself a long espresso. "So, nothing to do today either?"
"No, nothing in particular. - He explains, walking away to get a small bottle of water from the fridge. - So, do you have Heeseung's number now, Jake? Niki probably gave you his too, didn't?"
"Do you want to give me yours too?" I ask, approaching the fridge to get some milk to stain coffee with, he opens the door for me. I look at his face for less than a second, then sigh and pick up the brick, moving away again to pour it into the cup. He takes his time answering me, who knows what he's thinking-probably wondering what he could say to make me feel worse.
"You already have so many people you can call in times - he says, approaching the door - you don't need my number too."
So, he crosses the hall and disappears. I am left alone with my coffee and some doubt, as well as a strange bitterness in my chest, better not to think about it. I check social since it's been a while since I've done so and surprise surprise, I choke when I find out that with his official account Yeonjun actually wrote me on instagram.
Of course he doesn't follow me, but since I have the open account he can write to me.
In the meantime, Sunghoon has returned to the kitchen with his own phone, but I am caught off guard, instinctively afraid that he might find out such a thing and therefore rail further against me.
"Do I scare you that much?" He huffs, annoyed, but continues to look at the phone screen, intent on sending messages by typing quickly. He looks agitated.
"In fact, you do convey a certain uneasiness to me - I sigh, turning off the phone screen, he notices though - but I'm not af raid of you."
"That's good - he says, but he doesn't seem at all focused or present, something is going on behind his screen. - Because it's Heeseung you should be afraid of."
I wearily lift my eyes to the sky, he took short time. I sit at the table, away from him, resuming staring at the screen as I sip my coffee and it still feels too strange, should I respond? Surely it's not nice to ignore him - he even wrote to me with the official account....
"What are you smiling about?" He asks annoyed.
I immediately compose myself, turning off the phone again. "What do you care? Mind your business."
"Yah! - He raises his voice, I raise my eyes a little scared and he notices, so he clears his voice calming down. - Really, you should put the phone down."
"What?" - I ask incredulously, and a little amused. - Are you kidding?"
"You can choose to put it away yourself, or I'll take it."
I immediately pick up the device, placing it between my thighs. "What? Are you crazy all of a sudden?"
"Never been sane. - Approaching threateningly, I stand up. - That idiot will text you all the time, and you apparently can't take your eyes off the phone, so we'll settle it politically."
I laugh as I flee for the kitchen, avoiding him. "You've been with the phone the whole time, too!"
He stops, I can see it, he covers his mouth because by dint of running and chasing me around the kitchen he's had to laugh too. He coughs again, gets serious.
‘Of course I have real commitments, important people to answer to.’ I arch my eyebrows in amusement, I actually have important people to answer too but I don't need to say that, I don't want to annoy him further. ‘Then you shouldn't waste your time on unimportant people like me.’ I explain. He, however, takes advantage of my moment of vulnerability to reach over and take the phone out of my hands, raising his hand so that I can't reach it. ‘Shut up, okay?’ OK my ass, Park Sunghoon, ‘Give it back.’ I ask, doing so politely, this doesn't have to turn into a war. ‘Why do you want it? Forget it - he replies, with such nonchalance that it creeps me out. - So you talk to Heeseung a lot? Do you have fun over the phone?’ I keep smiling nervously, I want to slap him, he's so arrogant. ‘Give me your phone.’ ‘What?’ He bursts out laughing, putting mine in the back pocket of his suit… black. ‘I'll let you have it if you give me yours.’ ‘No way.’ He laughs. ‘Then give it back to me, there's not a single reason why you should have it.’ ‘There are reasons - he says. - The first is that I don't know your code, so, I can't do anything with your phone. The second is that this is my turn, your time belongs to me, so I choose what you can and cannot do.’
I am speechless for his logic, his arrogance no knows bounds, I am fascinated by this but not in a good way. Park Sunghoon, are you a sociopath?
‘It's not written anywhere that I can't use the phone.’ Just as I speak, in front of me, he pulls out his fucking phone and replies, as I can see a few metres away, to a very long message. ‘Then let's write it down.’ He says.
As I suspected something is going on, but who is he talking now? The messages are long and Sunghoon stays writing the reply for several seconds, to the point that despite being aware that stealing his phone now would be so easy, I still decide not to do it.
He has a stern expression on his face, he's so handsome when he's angry that it makes you want to make him really angry. I sigh, realising I've been staring at him for too long, so I simply return to my coffee.
‘Don't drink just that, eat something.’ I look at him, he's focused on the screen, I force myself to get angry but it actually still makes me a little bit impressed that he's pretending to care about me. ‘No thanks.’ ‘Don't be such a kid.’ ‘Aren't you too busy answering to talk to me too?’ I ask, and he lifts his gaze for the first time in a while, staring at me amused. ‘What, are you feeling neglected?’ I open my mouth genuinely surprised, how dare he? ‘Give me my phone back, stupid.’ ‘Stupid?’ ‘I thought about it, I'm older than you, you should start... c-comport yourself well. - I say that but my voice is shaking at the end. - You're d-disrespectful.’ He bursts out laughing, turning off his phone and putting it back in his pocket. ‘What, and you want me to call you noona too?’
Let's not exaggerate, I think as I cover my mouth because I can't help smiling, I'm such a pervert…. is just a word, why should it have that much effect on me?
‘Look at her, she can't hide it! - He accuses me aloud, while his laughter fills the atmosphere all around. - Oh my god, do you really want to hear me say that? Pathetic, give up now.’ ‘If you hold to that like you did with the ‘I will never sleep with you’ then can we say you'll do it by the end of the day?’
I bite my lip, I knew he would be angry. He approaches twisting his lips, the evil ice prince, he has his hands in his pockets but bends slightly to get to my height.
‘And tell me, how is Heeseung?’ ‘What does Heeseung have to do with it now?’ ‘About this thing which I really don't remember - he smiles smugly - what does he think? Is he trying to reassure you by saying it was a mistake?’ ‘You realise you can't talk about something you deny happened?’ He laughs again, pulling away. ‘It doesn't change anything, whether it happened or not. ‘ I take a few steps towards him, narrowing my eyes. ‘Then why not admit it happened?’ He backs away further, laughing. ‘Because it doesn't matter.’ ‘Talking to you is pointless, isn't it?’ ‘We can deal with it like two adults. - He explains calmly, taking his mobile phone back, writing a short message and turning it off again. - Now let's talk about what happened yesterday, where you were with Niki, who was with you? And Heeseung?’ ‘You keep asking me about Heeseung… - I giggle, nervous. - Like it's important.’ ‘It isn't? Then you should let me read the chat.’ I swallow, not expecting such a request. ‘W-what? No?’
At that moment, Sunoo enters the kitchen, Sunghoon is about to distance himself from me as the comrade passes between us and approaches for coffee.
‘Didn't you go out?’ Sunghoon asks, first. Sunoo, so elegant and pale, sighs almost disappointed. ‘Good morning.’ I sit at the table looking down. ‘Good morning.’ ‘You're excited, aren't you, hyung?’ The younger man asks, sitting down next to me and observing me. ‘What?’ Sunghoon asks. ‘It's finally your turn, you've been looking forward to it. - He smiles, bringing his cup to his lips, takes a sip. - Noona shouldn't you eat something? Then you'll end up sick.’
Wow, Sunoo, just like everyone else, is simply dazzling up close. It may be the make-up, but his skin appears free of any kind of imperfection, his features are so fine. He has a very different glance to the rest of the world, calmer, maybe mature, but equally brilliant.
‘And you? How are you going to get through the day with just a coffee? ‘ Sunoo crinkles his beautiful big eyes, he's surprised but doesn't want to show it. ‘I'll be fine, I have vitamins.’ ‘Do you want me to cook you something quickly? - I sigh worriedly, getting up. - I'll be quick for real.’ ‘Noona… no need, really.’ He laughs, embarrassed, how cute… ‘Go to that bar you like so much - snorts Sunghoon, taking out his wallet and putting several tens of thousands of won in his hand - and really do it.’ ‘I don't want anything from you, hyung.’ Sunoo replies, but Sunghoon grabs his hands, preventing him from pushing the money against his chest. The two look at each other for several seconds and God if I am fantasising. 'Then you really are…how envious. I'm jealous. - Sunoo laughs, pulling away first. Sunghoon swallows, struggling, looking away nervously, then the younger man comes towards me, smiling. - I'll BOY something good for you too, noona, since you're so nice.’ ‘Thank you…’ I nod infatuated by his sweet and spicy scent.
Sunoo leaves the room and walks out of the attic, Sunghoon looks at me, he's angry but I don't understand why. The fact that he approaches so suddenly, walking against me, makes me spontaneously back up until I freeze against the wall, I swallow, he's really… close.
‘W-What did I do?’ ‘I don't know but stop it.’
This is all crazy. I slide under his outstretched arm leaning against the wall and walk towards the corridor, he stops me, as usual, with his stupid strength and I give in.
‘What do you want?’ ‘Aren't you going to answer?’ ‘I have nothing to say to you.’ ‘I can be nice, if you'll be a good girl.’
I stiffen, he absolutely must not say such things. I'm very sensitive, even if it's an asshole like him saying them.
‘Sunghoon, what's on your mind?’
He walks towards me, he is close but does not cross the line, I can feel his breath caressing my forehead, it is as if time has stopped. I hate feeling so at a disadvantage.
‘What should I have on my mind? I just want to talk.’
He says this grabbing me by the arm and dragging me into his strange bare room, he pushes me against the bed but as usual, he is not abrupt, I fall exactly as I should have fallen. He, though at arm's length, has climbed into bed with me, crawling.
‘Talk about what?’ ‘Let's see if you're honest… who were having lunch with you yesterday? ‘ I pale, evidently also. ‘W-what?’ ‘Who, were, with, you? - He smiles but is nervous. - Come on…’ ‘Why do you want to know?’ Sunghoon gets serious all of a sudden. ‘Riki is a kid who gets manipulated by those assholes, and you would do anything to get laid.’
I do, I don't even think about it for a second, I slap him on his fucking elegant cheek which turns red within seconds. I'm terrified of my own behaviour, I should never, never have reacted like that.
He touches his cheek as he looks at me surprised, but also definitely annoyed. ‘Who were you yesterday, Amanda?’
Did he call me by name? I don't remember if he did before, but the way his voice vibrates, his tone serious and deep, makes my knees tremble and my throat dry.
I swallow, backing away as I sit on the bed. ‘We were together with Yeonjun and Soobin.’
There, now he is really angry. There are several reasons why he might be: the first is that, thinking me an easy chick (even though I actually am) he might be afraid of venereal diseases or something, the second is that he obviously hates them.
From first to last.
‘Oh yeah, and did you have a good time?’ I raise my pupils, that's just like him reply like that. ‘Do you really think that just because I met them then I laid with them?’ He doesn't answer right away, seems to think about it, then looks at me. ‘Yes.’ ‘I already told you - I reply, unable to mask my nervousness - think what you want.’ ‘I don't actually believe you - he says, approaching slowly - but you can try to change my mind.’ ‘W-Why should I?’ I laugh, but I don't realise fast enough that by grabbing me by the waist, he pushed me down so that I was right underneath him, between his legs. ‘Because if I'm not angry - he whispers, hunching over me, who remain pressed against his mattress, unable to breathe - it will be more pleasant.’ ’W-What?’
He smiles for less than a second before taking off his little black shirt, revealing a body that is nothing short of divine. His shoulders broad as fucking highways meet at the height of his collarbones, so prominent and defined. His chest appears immense in front of me, as I gaze shocked from below.
How can he… be real.
‘If you cooperate, I will show you more and more.’ He says, taking my hand to rest it on his abdomen so tight, so flat, so hard. ‘Don't… A-Are you kidding?’ I ask genuinely confused. ‘You really didn't do anything with Riki?’ He asks again, pushing my hand lower, but not too far.
This is…. I have to get up from here.
‘N..No…’ I whisper.
WHAT THE FUCK.
Why do I please him? I regain my senses thankfully and try to get up to move away from him but he stops me from the waist, forcing me under his body.
‘No, eh? Why? Cause did Heeseung ask you?’
We look into each other's eyes, i'm feeling strange. His gaze is serious enough to make me uncomfortable, at the same time I feel like this is the only time Sunghoon takes me seriously.
‘Yes.’ I reply.
He didn't expect such a response, it is obvious, so much so that he lets his grip on my hips but I don't use this moment to escape, I remain helpless, as if my body were lifeless.
‘What?’
I don't answer, but it's as if I did.
Sunghoon's phone starts ringing just at this moment but he doesn't move, instead he grabs my shirt and lifts it up, I am only in my briefs underneath. I don't run, I don't flinch, I don't even know what's going on.
I'm just lying.
‘Do you want Heeseung?’ ‘Your… the phone rings…’ I say softly, looking away. ‘He's just messing with you.’ ‘I know.’ I admit. ‘You know?!’
The phone stops ringing for a second, then a second call comes in, apparently urgent.
'And you? - I ask him. - Aren't you messing with me too?’
That's when in less than a second, as the annoying ringtone becomes sweet music, Sunghoon leans over and taking my face with both hands kisses me, for the first time.
But… what the fuck…..
I push him, he insists, I try to push him away but after a couple of times I stop fighting. He kisses me, really kisses me, he's not touching me outside my face but my body burns as his tongue melts over mine like ice in lava.
A third call starts, this time I really push him and he stops.
He gets up without saying anything, I get the impression that he is angry while walks to the desk where he had left the phone and answers.
‘What the fuck…. who is?! - He answers really, really aggressively to the call….. I hear a female voice. Sunghoon has his back to me but I think I know which his expression have, his silence lasts too long. - What?! No!’
Several more seconds of silence.
‘Fuck, you can't do that! I'm coming..... I said…. yes.’
When he closes the call he loses several seconds before turning around, but by the time he does I'm already up. He walks towards me, his long black fringes covering his eyes but he has a really scary expression.
He takes off my shirt, I'm so surprised I don't realise I have to stop him, then I catch a glimpse of his dark eyes.
‘Wait in Jungwon's room.’ ‘W-what? Give me the shirt meanwhile..’ I say, trying to grab it back. He moves his arm. ‘No - he shakes his head, making a noise of denial with his mouth - you're going to stay like that.’ ‘S-Sunghoon who's coming?’
He doesn't answer immediately, in fact, he tries to boycott the discussion by throwing the shirt to grab my thin briefs from my hips, I see his long fingers bend around the lambo of fabric and seriously I can't stop him.
He touches my abdomen, my thighs, with his nose, with his lips.
Shit…
‘Wait in Jungwon's room.’
Why do I let him undress me? Why do I let him take me to Jungwon's room? And why specifically his?
‘Honestly - he says, still holding my underwear - I don't have enough time to tie you up. This is the only room with a bathroom that you're allowed to enter, and you can't go outside.’ ‘G-Give me the phone.’ He bursts out laughing, but you can tell he's faking it, he's really pissed off, unhinged I dare say. ‘No kidding.’ ‘What…. What am I supposed to do?’ ‘Wait for me.’ He says, and then SIMPLY closes the door.
So I'm naked and in Jungwon's room, which is particularly neat but monochrome, mostly, all white, grey and beige.
I lean against the door, wondering who it is. Wonyoung? It looks… dangerous to me.
‘Are you an asshole? I'll kill you.’ Someone shouts, sounds like her to me, also seems to hit him repeatedly with maybe a bag. ‘You can't come here. Who did you come with?’ ‘You really want to tell me that? - She replies offended, advancing into the living room. - You're a fucking asshole, I'm going crazy.’ ‘If I was boring you would have snubbed me.’ He chuckles, in confidence.
Their tone is almost childlike, it doesn't sound like they're really arguing.
‘What the fuck is wrong with you these days?’ She asks. ‘Nothing, it's the change of season. Why are you here?’ ‘Ah, that sucks. You've gotten so used to it - and I guess she's talking about herself - that you don't even want to…’
Their bickering is interrupted by a stony silence, because… I guess the sound of their kissing doesn't come through the door. Why am I trembling? Am I scared or envious?
‘I know the boys are out all day today.’ She giggles. Sunghoon does the same, but in a different way. ‘How do you know? You let me spy?’ ‘Who knows… never let it be said that the princess of Korea is betrayed by any idol.’
They kiss again, at length.
Fuck, she is just incredible. I wish I was a tenth of what she is to live just better. And I feel pretty shitty too, I mean… I wouldn't feel guilty if she was aware of it of course, but really, beyond what I think of Sunghoon, never let it be said that someone like her has horns, for someone like me then… that would be inexcusable, I would deserve the pillory.
He whispers something to her that I can't hear.
‘And I don't like bullshit.’ She replies though, getting up, walking down the corridor, he follows her. ‘Wonyoung, don't do that again. Coming here is dangerous for you too.’ ‘Ok, but now fuck me.‘ ’You asked for it.’
I'm quite surprised. I mean… I imagined this would happen, but I thought I had more time to deal with something like this.
Thus began whole hours of fucking wild sex.
And I, honestly naked, locked in Jungwon's room, don't know what I could use to take my life without feeling excessive pain. I could try to use a pillow to suffocate myself or throw myself out the window, but the building is really high and the torture would be really long.
They scream, she moans at the top of her lungs. Right now they must be looking at each other, possessing each other in a very different dance than they are used to. It must all be so sweaty, wet, and elegant, their bodies high, dry….
Lying on Jungwon's bed, after putting on one of his shirts (I'll apologise later) I realise that although his sheets smell like everyone else's, his pillow smells too. Like borotalcate. It is so fresh and natural, it makes me want to sleep.
I try and try again but they keep moaning, panting, screaming. I get up, desperate, I walk around the room. This cannot be happening.
The screams subside and I can breathe.
When I hear the doorknob click, I snap too, terrified. Someone has tried to open it, and it is not Sunghoon because he knows he has locked it.
‘What are you doing?’ Sunghoon asks agitatedly, behind the door. ‘Take it easy you idiot. - She snorts in offence. - Where is the bathroom in this house?’ ‘That way, this is Jungwon's room.’ ‘He locks it huh? Strange…’ ‘He does it because Riki takes his clothes.’ ‘Mh, if you say so - sigh. - I'm going to take a shower, bye.’
After several minutes it happens what shouldn't have happened, seriously, I could have faced a few more hours without water and mobile phone, it would still have been better than seeing Sunghoon walk through the door, half naked, his wide tracksuit slipping over his pelvis, his hair dampened, his fucking lips consumed by another's kisses.
‘Are you ok?’ He asks, without looking at me, as he hands me a bottle of water. ‘Get out immediately - I whisper, terrified - are you out of your mind?’
Sunghoon approaches, he is tired, he looks like a zombie. He places the water bottle on the desk before grabbing me by the face and resuming kissing me, like before.
What is he doing? This… this guy has gone crazy! They've all gone mad! I am living in the worst and best erotic nightmare of my life but I really need to wake up now.
He kisses me, his tongue is not fast but passionate, he savours every inch of my lips as I sink into the softness of his, our noses brush against each other and his hands caress my cheeks, my hair, he holds me from the nape of my neck so that the kiss is more intense.
I really want to die in this moment, because imagining that it will end devastates me.
He stops, perhaps he has finally woken up from his nightmare. Yet I still cannot see his eyes, preciously hidden under the thick bangs that also look so soft and into which I would like to sink my fingers.
No… he has not woken up.
‘Why are you wearing Jungwon's things?’ He asks, in a whisper, I can't even tell if he's looking at me, he's become so strange, unrecognisable. ‘If she came in…’
Sunghoon approaches me again, takes the t-shirt from the edges and lifts it slowly over my body, and the truth is, I don't stop him this time either.
‘You wouldn't want to… - He asks, laughing awkwardly, as if he's really out of it - wear only my things?’ I am… confused. Confused, tired and terribly horny. ‘I maybe… - I say, swallowing, I feel like I'm drunk and I haven't even had a drink - no… you're crazy. Maybe you're the craziest of them all.’ I smile upset, turning away from him. ‘When you're good at everything, you end up a little crazy in the end.’ He smiles this time too, but as usual, he doesn't mean it.
He takes my face again, he kisses me again, to deny him would be like going against my own instincts, I can't resist him.
This time his hands touch me, how very much they touch me. He cupping my breasts, picking them up as if they were tiny, then his lips slide over my nipples and I moan.
‘S-Stop it….’ ‘Shut up.’
ok short poll because it amuses me, bye
NEXT CHAPTER:
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More Posts from Sadceline
Please do not buy tickets to the WALK THE LINE tour.
Enhypen don’t deserve just a month break. They deserve a long, relaxing break. They deserve to be treated like human beings, they deserve to relax, to not be disoriented by a new time zone every other hour, to not sigh when they have to travel another day.
They deserve to breathe, to relax, to sleep, Enhypen are human beings, please, belift, just let them rest.
I think a lot about the members, those who have hurt themselves performing to the best of their abilities for ENGENES, but why can’t we try harder to vouch for a long break of relaxation? How come they try so much for us but we won’t even try for them?
I think about how Jay has exhausted himself constantly because he wanted to be there for the concerts despite physically exhausting himself.
I think about Jake who can barely open his eyes during concerts because despite his tiredness he wants to see engenes.
I think about Heeseung, who gets hate for being exhausted, being told he’s lazy because he cannot afford to extort any more energy towards his dances because he’s that tired.
Jungwon, Sunoo and Sunghoon who’s staying strong for the rest of their members, trying their best to keep the energy up as the other members try to catch their energy.
And Ni-ki, who’s the same age as me, who’s been mentally challenged during the tour, where he’s stated openly how tired he is. He’s the same age as me, I’m out enjoying myself, hanging with friends, finding new opportunities for me to grow as a person.
I get to relax, to sleep in as much as I want, to have the ability to snooze through my alarms and do nothing for the entire day and just relax.
He can’t do that, he’s working tirelessly. He’s only a teen like I am, how could I sit here and just let them do that?
Please, boycott the tour, don’t contribute to it, do not promote it, pay no mind, and pressure belift into a longer break.
They don’t deserve just a month, they deserve longer.
Boycott the Tour. If you call yourself an ENGENE, have a human heart, or just an ounce of compassion, boycott WALK THE LINE.
THE ENHYPEN HOST || Special
|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS
WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.
GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers
PREVIOUS (FF) CHAPTER:
PREVIOUS (TEXT) CHAPTER:
FIRST CHAPTER:
after the event of TEXT chapter 2....
'Noona what are you doing awake? - Niki mumbles, sleepily, stretching his arm across my thighs at the height of his head and squeezing them. Shit. - Aren't you sleepy... maybe?’ He chuckles, not entirely lucid.
I breathe deeply as I break into a cold sweat. He was close. Close to… discovering me sexting Jake.
But why did I let myself go? I even touched myself, my god - it's fine to be open-minded, but can I handle such an emotional load?
And also the cold way he greeted me. Oh Jaeyun… I know someone like me could never hurt you, but just imagining that I could have annoyed you, that… that makes me anxious, regretful.
There's also Heeseung, him and his stupid way of deluding me. Still, I shouldn't have said those things to him in the hallway, I must have looked pathetic.
But then why does he tell me I'm different? Why does he delude me, even after he allowed what happened with Sunghoon?
And Sunghoon… tomorrow it's his turn. By now I can't rely on his self-control, he'd be able to deny it even as he's doing it.
‘Are you not feeling well?’ He sits on the bed, looking at me. Stupid, if I don't speak I'll make him suspicious. ‘No! Everything's fine!’ Niki squints sleepily, he's looking at me, then reaches out to turn on the lamp on the bedside table. ‘Noona your cheeks are red, do you have a fever or…’
Oh no. I'm really vulnerable right now, I'm not even one to settle for coming once… I really want to sneak into Jake's room.
I stroke his hair and smile nervously. ‘It's okay, let's sleep now.’ He squeezes his shoulders not very convinced but lies back down. ‘Whatever.’
I feign serenity as I get comfortable on my side. I'm not comfortable or even serene, in fact I'm not sleepy because I slept in the afternoon, but if we're being honest, how do you relax with a guy over six feet, with shoulders as wide as galleons and completely naked except for his underwear (according to him ‘he can't sleep in his pyjamas’)?
Eventually time passes in the half-light and although Niki keeps tossing and turning in bed, by dint of staring at the wall in front of me I manage to close my eyes. It's a light sleep, I know I could wake up at any moment, but I still manage to sleep for a while.
At least when, as I turn over, I don't notice a few sighs that are a little too misunderstandable. I don't pay too much attention to it at first, trying to get back to sleep, but I sense that I'm very tense even as I sleep.
‘Ah...’
I hear it but it seems like a sound illusion. After a while I hear it again. It is a restrained moan, followed by deep, intense breaths.
When I open my eyes, confused and sleepy, I catch a glimpse of Niki's beautiful body, faintly illuminated by the various small lights in the room, but not by a direct light source.
Niki is sitting with his back to the headboard, he is… touching himself.
I jerk, as if I've woken up all of a sudden, he stares at me with an absorbed but not surprised expression. Even as he sees me shocked by the situation, he doesn't try to clarify, he just looks me in the eyes and continues to squeeze his cock.
His hand keeps moving, his tapering fingers tightening around his length, moist, veiny, sliding from bottom to top in front of me, unashamedly.
I swallow, having looked away. So far I haven't been able to do this, but when I begin to observe his face to try to decipher his intentions, he simply bites his lip.
Come on… please… so I end up dying.
I swallow, turning away. This is still his room, this is his kingdom, but… I mean, it's not socially acceptable, I suppose.
Of course, there's very little that's normal about this situation, maybe I shouldn't even be surprised, but… I mean, if it had been anyone else, I would have really jumped him.
Every time I try to catch a glimpse of his expression, he just looks me in the eye and jerks off.
No.
No...
‘Noona I said I won't do it - he tells me, catching my gaze again, which continually sags downwards but then tries to come back up, regretfully. - Really… ah… but could I just look at you?’
I blink, is he serious?
He bites his lip again, with more anger, god, he's beautiful. His involved, pained expression increases my blood pressure, my pulse, I feel like by dint of restraint myself, my brain is literally next to explode.
‘N-No.’ ‘Do you hate me?’ He asks then. ‘No I don't hate you!’ ‘Then… - he says, shifting his gaze to my body covered by the oversized t-shirt - let me see just a little…’
He speaks alternating between moans, deep breaths, as he stretches out the words making his vocal cords vibrate like those of a bass guitar.
Shit.
I let out a long sigh, agitated, worried. I don't even look at his face as I clench the edges of my shirt with my fists, desperately trying to calm myself down. ‘D-Do you really not touch?’ He stares at my hands, then biting his lip lifts his gaze and smiles. ‘Well… I know you don't want to fuck.’
I… I know that's not a real answer. He didn't answer my question, but he still reassured me, I guess I can be okay with it. I mean, I want to be okay with it.
I swallow again, my hands shaking as I lift my shirt, but it's not out of shyness. I'm just damn horny and the idea of him touching himself while watching me is driving me crazy, but I have to keep control, a dignity, keep my words.
‘Oh fuck,’ he says, when I am left only in my briefs, sitting on my knees and deeply embarrassed. Niki squeezes him tighter, you can tell by the way he spreads his bare, toned, dry, white legs better. - You have such pretty tits.’
God, how fast that hand moves, in front of me. God, how I want to be, that hand.
‘Fuck… fuck… - He says, still, as he opens his mouth, spreading it wider and wider, his wrist moving fast, faster and faster, so fast that it brings him to orgasm, which he voluntarily directs at me, coming on my thighs. - Fuck…’
Well, at least it's over, unfortunately.
‘Oh fuck, you're really weak - he laughs, handing me some tissues and using a few as well, I meanwhile continuing to ponder the fact that I could clean it by licking it (just kidding… how gross) - I love that you do what I tell you.’
Riki, it is assumed that the pleasure moment has ended, so kindly stop saying things like that. THANK YOU.
What a great gurl I am though, going from dom to sub in less than two seconds is something extraordinary, isn't it?
‘O-Ok, now go to sleep though.’ I say, grabbing my shirt and trying to put it back on. Riki stops my wrists, looks at me and smiles. ‘No, I'm not done yet.’ ‘Yes you are.’ I reply nervously. He chuckles amused, then brings his hand to his cock under his boxers, still hard, still throbbing. ‘Does it look like I'm done?’
I remove my hand as my body paralyses and my mind implodes.
‘You said-’ ‘I didn't touch you, you touched me.’ He laughs again. I feel like laughing too, so I turn away. ‘Riki, you know it's not like that… now…’
And nothing, he pulls it out again.
‘Come on… just hold on a couple more times.’ ‘C-Couple?’ ‘Just because I don't want you to lose too many hours of sleep. - He says, then comes closer again, with the fingertip of his index he grazes my hard nipples, I'm still breathing, at least I'm trying. - Now I have touched you. But it's nothing sexual.’ ‘Y-Yes it is.’ He smiles again, this time he grabs it and I moan sorely… sort of. ‘I'm not going to fuck you, whatever, though… I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, isn't?’ He says this before pulling it a little.
I am a river in flood, really.
‘Lie down.’ That sounds like an order. Imagine if I don't obey. He gets between my legs, kneeling, as he stares down at me from above. ‘You can imagine I'm fucking you, if that helps..’
He then leaves his cock to slip off my panties with both hands, as he does so he is really close to my intimacy, but I can't really do anything. By now I have consented and there is not a cell in my body that wants to stop.
Riki starts touching himself again, I can see his length, his thickness, in their grandeur, it's a great shot. His smug but serious expression, his resumed intense breathing, his balls... in short, so full.
‘Don't you want to touch yourself?’ He asks. I really, really want to, but if I did…. Would I be able to control myself? I have my doubts. ‘W-well, that's fine…’
He looks incredibly annoyed by this, I see his eyebrows arch with irritation as he grabs me by the knees, lifts my ankles onto his broad shoulder and then… shoves it between my thighs, holding me by the same ankles to keep it stable, tight.
Fuck.
‘Oh yeah….even if you don't want me to… fuck you. I want to use you in every way.’ He says, charging harder between my legs, I'm helpless.
To let him do this was like giving up.
He watches me, as I part my moist lips, as I try to remain alert, focused, but my expression is absorbed, confused, as I breathe shallowly, holding myself back, but I am so agitated. My chest seems to burst as he, yes, uses me.
He pulls me even closer to him, this time spreading my legs apart by placing an ankle by each shoulder, forced to show him my pussy. No… he mustn't…. not enter.
I swallow. ‘R-Riki….’ ‘I won't put it in - he reassures me, though he's not too careful, busy resting his big cock between my major lips, starting to move his pelvis more slowly than he did between my legs - that's what you want, isn't it?’
But I had already lost my mind, and I knew this was how it was going to go. How could I just believe I had such self-control? In the end, I don't even know if I should think anything about it.
‘Ah… Riki… - I moan, when his presence starts pressing hard against my clit - this… this… isn't…’ He doesn't allow me to finish my sentence, he closes my legs around his cock again to squeeze it better, and that's when he starts moaning louder. ‘Oh god, yes…’
So beautiful is his expression of pure pleasure, his forehead wrinkled and wet with a few elegant droplets of sweat, which nonetheless… glide over his swollen pecs, imperil his broad shoulders, his long arms, his abdomen so dry and pale, perfectly outlined his abs… wow… he really is a sight, and maybe it's precisely because he's not inside me that I can watch him so intently.
‘I want to cum inside, noona.’ He tells me, as I continue to gasp at his length that continues to stimulate my clit.
I look at him, surprised, but not honestly enough. I… I don't want to say yes, but I don't want to say no to him either, a little because it's like I want to give him everything (apart from sex).
Maybe I should just accept it. Accept that I, for one, don't mind this at all. Accept that no matter what happens, there really is no way to live differently, I have become a host.
As I told Heeseung, I cannot be someone else, not any more.
Beyond what I want to give Riki, I also want to receive, and thinking about it, that's really the only thing I can receive from them: their body.
I should just start thinking like this.
‘O…Okay…’ I whisper, a little scared. The boy wastes no time sticking it in, so fast it hurt, I wasn't even dilated properly, just very very wet. I realise it hurt less in the car because I was a little drunk. ‘Fuck noona, I'm going to fill you up now.’
It's not exactly as he said, he's not just ‘cumming’, no, he's holding me by the hips as his pelvis charges with brute force inside me. I can't close my mouth, it's so fast and abrupt that I have to plug it with my hands.
In the end, I, unable to be someone else, am still me.
And me is afraid that others will know.
Least of all, I don't want them to know.
‘R-Riki - I moan, choking on my breaths, the bed shaking so much that the room itself seems to shake. - Ri….Riki… oh my god, oh god… oh!’
He does it again, still biting his lip before arching his eyebrows menacingly and going even faster, I feel like I'm convulsing. I can't even control my hands clutching desperately at his veiny forearms, maybe I'm scratching him.
‘Riki… is so g…big…you make me…’ ‘Didn't you notice today?’ ‘I-I know…I-I was a little drunk!’
I see him laughing, but seriously, sincerely (all while he keeps wearing me down with blows but ok), he's so cute I want to bite him, somewhere, no matter where.
‘You are… ah… so… handsome.’ I said. I'm so involved and happy in this moment that…. it was spontaneous, I wanted to say it and I did.
I doubted that between my own and his moans, this sentence, said faintly and under my breath, could be heard anyway, but though he doesn't stop, Riki looks into my eyes differently, in a more intense way.
He looks like… a man. Not a kid, not a boy but a man, I shudder, but even this feeling is swept away by his impetuousness, brutality.
‘Oh fuck.’ He repeats again, focused. He's lasting so long..... other than coming!
I doubt any girl, while they were having sex, hasn't told him he's handsome. It's the obvious thing to say, to think, especially as his sleek, masculine, imposing body stands naked.
Yet he… he looked surprised, impressed.
The truth is that by dint of acting for work, they've probably learnt to do it really well: although that, however, doesn't explain why they should use these skills with me.
Or, and I think this under my breath because such a thought is so ridiculous, have these guys simply not had enough sexual experience?
Of course, it could be a question of culture.
But what remains more likely for me, and I sincerely think so looking at Riki's eyes, subtle, dark but brilliant, is that this is just a perverse game. Malicious perhaps?
Nothing matters after Riki empties himself inside me, emitting animalistic grumbling but in a whisper. His body trembles with mine, as the last strokes inside my belly assure the owner that his seed is well within.
When Riki moves, the world becomes heavy again.
No matter what I have thought so far, what remains is only a strange emptiness and a deep sense of guilt. I will not ask him again not to tell others, I will let him make his own choice.
I lie in bed for several dozen seconds, then sigh.
‘I'll go wash up.’ I say, getting out of bed naked. ‘Do you want me to come with…’ - Riki stops himself, noticing my vacant expression. - Are you OK?’ ‘I'll go out for a moment later. You go ahead and sleep.’ I explain, putting my shirt back on. ‘What? At this hour? - He asks surprised, now his expression is innocent again and that… disturbs me. - Why? I… noona did I... something-’ ‘No- I sigh a little too heavily. - I just need to take a walk, I'll buy cigarettes in the Convenience Store in the area.’ ‘If you want to smoke I have cigarettes.’ He tells me. ‘Even? Do you smoke as well?’ I ask, sternly. ‘Noona what's going on? - He's the one asking this time. - You are strange. Did it… Maybe disgusted by what we did? Do you hate me?’
I'm not sure but I feel like this is the second time he's asked me if I hate him, but I… of course not, at most I hate myself.
‘No, Riki. It was good. We can do it again if you want.’ I say with my eyes down though, as I pick up my briefs from the floor. ‘It doesn't feel right…. then even if I have a big cock it's no use if I don't have experience, is it?’ ‘Didn't you sleep with that 30-year-old?’ ‘Yes, I fucked a few girls, but not that many. I don't physically have the time.’ He smiles, but is sad.
Is he serious? I don't know, I'm starting not to trust him.
‘You're good in bed, and I think you know it too. - I sigh again, approaching the door. - You didn't do anything wrong, I'm the one who feels weird, but I don't know why. Please throw out your cigarettes and don't smoke. Smokers sucks.’ ‘You're going to buy cigarettes right now.’ I look at him for several seconds in silence, then smile wearily. ‘Indeed.’
Honestly, I am not a smoker, but I have become one at times in my life. After my parents' divorce, after being kicked out of the house by my mother, after being physically but above all psychologically harassed for months by a man who despite reporting me was never arrested or removed, and last but not least, when grew horns on my forehead.
Now, although I think I will buy the pack just to smoke one, I need to breathe sweet venom.
‘I can't let you go out alone at this hour.’ ‘Don't worry, Seoul is less dangerous than any italian city at night.’ Unconvinced, he glares at me. ‘At least take my number, so in case you can call me.’
Alright.
ok i don't know if anyone cares but sorry for the delay actually it's just that i was bothering to translate, boh leave a comment if you like it and never ask for riki again
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