. STAY THE NIGHT? Jude Bellingham

࿐ ˚ . ✦ STAY THE NIGHT? jude bellingham

summary. when you're just not ready for your bf to leave yet

cw. aggressive reader smh fluff

word count. 819

your dry eyes exclusively stared at the bright, white screen in the middle of your dim bedroom. you were bundled up in heaps of blankets alongside your boyfriend, jude, who’d also lent his arm around your neck and snuggled away. there was a spot on his chest left warm from the imprint of your cheek, marinating on it for an hour or so. the fluorescent blue light of the tv screen was slowly burning your eyes, but being preoccupied with the movie in front of you, you could truly care less.

along the movie, you felt your boyfriend fidgeting next to you, shuffling his legs, adjusting the hem of his t-shirt, and tapping his phone every now and again. you didn’t pay much mind to it when it first began, but now it was becoming a little repetitive. he hadn’t been giggling like he typically would, either, which drew worry within you. 

your head drifted from the movie in front of you as you stole a glance at the boy who’d once again quickly clicked the power button on his phone.

"you okay?" you asked out of concern. you trusted he wasn’t being sneaky—if anything, maybe he was uncomfortable.

he swiftly cleared his throat, "yeah, i’m good." your eyes peered upon his stoic appearance while he attempted to seem preoccupied, squinting at the tv screen with his arms crossed in a formal demeanor.

"i actually," he paused, taking a second to (once again) peep at his phone, "think it’s getting pretty late." he shifted himself onto the headboard of your bed. 

"what? we’re already so far into the movie—just stay for however long there is left," you protested, stationing your body upright as you watched his turned back begin to face you.

"listen, princess, i really have to get up early for training tomorrow. you can finish the rest without me, right?" he cooed in a sweet, drowsy tone while lowering himself to cup your cheek.

you frowned, gazing into his eyes. you took the opportunity to grasp the big hand fixed on your cheek, stroking it, as you two shared a few seconds of physical affection.

"do you really have to go?" you batted your eyelashes at him, anticipating that somehow your innocent gape would stir him back into bed.

he sighs. his head scans the ceiling of your room for a second before returning his gaze to you. you can sense that there was contemplation emanating from him, weighing the consequences of either spending the night or going home.

"last time i stayed the night, i was an hour late to practice," he says, pinching your cheek before grabbing the hoodie laying on the corner of your bed and flinging it over his head.

"i got into so much trouble too. i promise i’ll stay longer next time, but i really have to go." he continued, adjusting the collar of his hoodie, which draped so nicely on his broad frame.

as much as you hated to admit it, he was right. for whatever reason, every time he stayed the night, it just so happened that his alarm didn’t seem to go off. you two would be an hour into cuddling before he darts up and realizes that practice started 45 minutes ago.

you took the opportunity to sit on the edge of the bed as he fiddled with the hood of his sweater. you stood silent for a second, watching him before his departure.

"well, at least hug me before you go," you plead, tilting your head among the boy perched in front of you.

he let out a soft chuckle as he approached you with open arms. the fabric of his sweater etched across your cheek as you pulled him closer in your embrace, hugging him tighter.

wrapping your legs around him, you had the bright idea of keeping him home a little longer.

"you’re not going anywhere," you muffled into his clothed chest, sinking back into the bed with him still bound to your arms.

"y/n—" he cried, startled by the extent to which you went to keep him for the night.

"you’re so heavy," you mumbled under him. he chuckled in the crook of your neck before pulling himself from above you, though he didn’t fully plunk his weight on you. (😔)

"gosh, you really want me to stay the night that bad?" he teased, mounting himself between your legs. instinctively, you swathed your legs around his thighs once more.

"mhm," you nodded, dragging your bottom lip between your teeth. 

"and, if you try to leave again, you’re dead, okay?" you declared before your boyfriend chuckled, bending down to peck your cheek.

"got it, ma’am" he hummed in agreement.

"but, if i'm late again, i swear—" 

"shush, you're not going to be late, promise." you cut him off, knowing fully well it was destined to happen again, but that's for tomorrow to decipher.

an: chronic writer's block does not mix well with my notes list of ideas to write abt...

࿐ ˚ . ✦ GOING AWAY. jude bellingham

summary. going away to uni wasn't as unforeseen as you thought it'd be.

cw. angst, friends-to-lovers

wc. 848

today was one of those bittersweet days. like, the last day of summer, or the last footsteps before moving houses. you’d been experiencing just that on your last day before leaving the country for school, alongside your best friend, jude.

you had no real family. for the longest time, it’d just been you two. it was complicated at home, and being around him was an escape. he made you feel numb. whenever something happened, you’d be at his window in an instant, ready to vent on his bedroom floor while he just sat and listened.

rain tapped the windshield, and you were snug in the passenger seat of his car. something on your shared playlist had been playing at twenty-something percent. this bit felt a little déjà vu-ish. but, in a good way.

“today was fun,” you blurted mid-conversation, shifting your gaze from the road to the boy next to you, behind the steering wheel. 

“i’m gonna miss this a lot, y’know.”

he hummed. his giggles from a few seconds ago quickly faded. 

you quickly realized your faults, mentioning the topic that’d been so thorny but, at the same time, imminent. it was hard to not bring it up, though. going the entire day trying to ignore it was hell. and as much as you wanted to seize the moment, time doesn’t stop.

“yeah,” he replied, quickly coughing away the tremble in his voice.

“since when did my best friend become so grown?”

you chuckled, shaking your head as you turned away to peek out of your side of the window.

“this could’ve been you too, jude. just quit football and stay with me,” you suggested, already mindful of his response.

he chuckled a bit. “or, you could just come and live with me while i work. i wouldn’t mind.”

you grinned, watching the rain as it trickled down the glass. as much as it sounded fun to never have to work or pay bills, you didn’t want your ‘independent’ persona taken away from you. maybe he just asked this question as a test to see if you’d say yes. not today, jude.

“mmm, no,” you responded. 

“let me enjoy my little parties and hookups. i don’t wanna be all professional like you at nineteen.”

he snickered, “you mean you're gonna be in your room studying all day?”

“shut up,” you rolled your eyes, watching as he turned into the airport entrance, the moment you’d been dreading all day.

opening your door as he parked, you ushered toward the trunk, quickly grabbing your luggage so the rain wouldn’t hit you so badly. 

“let me grab this,” he insisted, hovering over the bulkier bags.

your heart began to race, and your breathing was a little heavier as you paced toward the automatic doors of the entry. 

now, you two are face to face. and this is really the last time you'll be seeing him, or at least being in his embrace for a while.

“well,”

“this is it, isn’t it?” he muttered.

tears quickly welt up in your eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. the rain, harder than before, left the both of you drenched.

“yeah,” your voice cracked. the boy in front of you, who usually appeared stoic, appeared a bit antsy as he rocked in place.

“promise me you won’t do anything dumb without me there,” he pleads, a trace of uneasiness in his voice as he stares you down.

“mm, no promises,” you replied.

he clicked his tongue, silently berating you for your foreseen actions.

“i’m just kidding. i’ll be on my best behavior,” you reassured him, shooting him a smile.

“come here,” he prompted, extending his arms for a final hug.

eagerly, you slipped into his chest. his arms are tight around your waist, and you have to tip-toe up a little to reach his height. there’s no other feeling quite like this, but knowing it’s your last for a while, tears tumbled from your eyes.

your heels plopped to the floor and at this point, your faces are inches from each other—his cold breath trickling over your cheek. at once, his lips laced into yours. his hand instinctively pressed against your cheek and stayed there quite comfy. while it caught you off guard, it felt, in a sense, innate. his lips were sweet, and he kissed tenderly. his lips also tasted a little minty, and you realized he’d finally been using the chapstick you recommended to him months ago.

you pulled away slowly, whimpering as your lips left his. he seemed distraught, or maybe mesmerized by the kiss? there was a tinge of your gloss that lingered throughout his lips, which you thought was cute.

“i should get going now,” you muttered. “my flight is gonna board soon.”

“uhh, right,” he replied, your words bringing him back to reality.

“make sure to text me when you land, okay?”

“mhm.” 

“don’t miss me too much,” you smiled before walking into the building.

as you took a final look back at him, he waved at you with sanguine eyes as he disappeared into the rain.

an: so so sorry for the long wait. expect another fic really soon

࿐ ˚ . ✦ PDA. jude bellingham

summary. you and jude in the corner of an event doing little couple things :p

cw. none

word count. 528

"you’re not uncomfortable, are you?" 

he lowered his head, his breath hovering over the hem of your neck. 

"no, i’m fine. i promise, my love," you said, chuckling as your hand brushed his neck.

being about the sixth or seventh time he’s asked you this since you’ve been at this event, you found it incredible how much he needed reassurance about your security. you couldn’t complain, though. the extra attention was nice.

you two were intertwined in the bay of the busy venue. being an award ceremony, cameras were ubiquitous, and interviews were being conducted all over the room. luckily, he’d already appeared in a few, so you basically had him all to yourself for the rest of the night, excluding the instances of small talk exchanged with random acquaintances of his, of course.

his left hand gripped your waist, making sure everyone knew you were his (which simultaneously kindled your relationship's publicity). every now and again, he’d pull you in closer, and out of curiosity, you’d look up at him to make sure he wasn’t signaling for something.

your eyes darted to the side of your torso that he’d been latching onto when he pulled in slightly tighter again. instinctively, your eyes darted to his to make sure he wasn’t in trouble. unbothered, he’d just been scanning the room, watching his professional counterparts interact with each other. it took him a few seconds to realize that you’d been staring at him, and for the moment his eyes met with yours, you smiled. 

he hovered over to the nape of your neck, rhapsodizing, "you look so, so gorgeous tonight." he pulled away, grinning. 

for a second, you wanted to hide your flushed face, but your eyebrows just furrowed as you retained a gushing smile. "yea? i do?" you queried.

he nodded, repositioning you so that you were facing each other rather than side by side. "you do." he followed, "i can’t believe you’re mine. all mine." he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear while stroking your cheek along the way.

you bit your lip, preoccupied with scanning his angel-like features. you were taken aback when he did that eyes-lips-eyes thing (iykyk). it was difficult not to tremble—you couldn’t handle the butterflies. though you two have been dating for a hot second, there’s still a nervous pit you get in your stomach whenever you interact with him, let alone display affection.

you fluttered your puppy dog eyes, clueless of his temptations, forcing him to initiate something. 

"you know, it’s so hard to try not to kiss you right now." he muttered, almost whining.

your eyebrows furrowed, letting out a small chuckle. "mm, then why don’t you?" you teased, cocking your head.

he shook his head, his hand reaching to cup your cheek before crashing his lips onto yours. his lips were soft and cherry-flavored from his lip balm. it was easy to drown in them. his other hand skimmed your back, pulling you closer to him and immersing you deeper in the kiss. your arm found itself cradling his neck for extra support. before you could pull back, you felt and quickly recognized a bright white flash in your direction.

click.

an: hmmm finally tumblr decided to cooperate with my posts? don’t even know why my tags were bugging for months but expect a post soon <3 thank u for 4k+ notes while I was gone, lygsm.

࿐ ˚ . ✦ PROVE IT. jude bellingham

summary. a night out, gone lewd

cw. slightly toxic relationship, implied infidelity, cursing, alcohol consumption, nsfw [!!!]

wc. 1682

most relationships, or at least the ones we see today, always have that overprotective boyfriend and free-spirited girlfriend dynamic.

as much as you hated it, you were the jealous, possessive one in the relationship. always ordering him around, issuing the ‘don’t do that"s and the ‘why are you looking at her like that?"s.

at one point in the relationship, the roles were reversed. he’d always be the one kissing up on you in public, clinging his arms tightly around your waist to let the men in the room know you were his, and only his. it’s crazy how times have changed now, huh?

“i’m gonna go grab a drink. you care for one?” he ducked, hovering over your ear, before taking a last sip from his bottle.

you nodded your head. “i’m fine for now, thanks,” you replied, quickly adjusting the collar of his top. he nodded, and with that, he drifted towards the bar. you glanced off at him during his departure before scanning the rest of the club, filled with young people dancing to bouncy music. 

to be honest, clubbing wasn’t your thing. maybe with the right group of people, it wouldn’t be that bad, but you're stranded for now. introverted you thought it was a somewhat-good idea to sway to the beat of the music while scrolling through instagram to not seem awkward. contrary to your plan, it did. and now, you were in the corner of the nightclub, pulling down your tiny cocktail dress that’d been riding up your thighs to some corny pop song. better than being stuck at home, right?

your eyes strayed from your bright phone screen for a second to check up on your boyfriend, just to make sure he wasn’t getting into trouble. and funny enough, you saw just that: his smiling, tall figure leaned up against the bar, giggling next to some short, dark-haired girl. your mouth dropped. you didn’t even want to hear the end of it.

in a fit of rage, you marched toward the entrance of the place, uber already pulled up on your phone. nothing else crossed your mind. just the image of him next to her. some skanky girl in a tacky, sequined dress. even thinking about it makes your fists ball up. to add to that, you looked ridiculous pacing the sidewalk bordering the club, getting glances from passersby as you waited for your uber, which at this point was a few minutes away.

your phone immediately buzzed after you found the location of your driver.

where are you?

i can’t find you

seen 2m ago

y/n?

i left

find your own way home

seen just now

thankfully, your uber had pulled up just in time. pulling the handle of the black sedan, you were ready to plunk down in the back seat and just sob. 

“y/n?!” the club door scraped the pavement, a wave of loud music following a breeze of air hitting your skin. fuck. maybe if you just got in quick enough—

“where are you going?” he was quick to shout from behind you, his warm hand stationed upon yours on the car’s handle.

“home,” you replied, turning your head to face him from behind you. “i’m going home. just have fun by yourself, alright?”

he shook his head, scoffing. “are you serious?”

considering him looking so taken aback compared to your aloof face—it’s almost laughable knowing that he was just cozying up with another woman back at the bar. did he seriously think you didn’t know? like you didn’t just see that flirty interaction between the two?

you huff out a laugh. “jude, you’re seriously so funny,” you mocked, squinting up at the puzzled individual. 

“what are you talking about? what the fuck’s gotten into you?” he spat.

“i’m sure the girl at the bar would keep you company ‘til you come home, yeah?” you click your tongue, a satirical smile spreading through your lips, before lowering your head into the back seat of the car.

but he had different plans.

you could almost feel your blood start to boil as his legs crept next to yours in the car as well.

you scoffed, throwing your head back. “what the fuck are you do—-”

“you can start driving now, sir,” he interrupted you mid-sentence, and contradicting the way he’d just been speaking to you just a minute ago, he kindly instructs your driver. you could almost feel your eyes rolling to the back of your head to his sudden change in mood.

and, bizarrely enough, he’s silent for the ride. his eyes glared at the road. the only sound was that of the car wheels on the street, the driver not daring to ask any questions. 

“have a good night, mister,” you said to the guy behind the wheel as you shut the car door behind you. jude, who’d already been at the front door of your shared home, was tapping the keypad, eager to come home once and for all.

your heels tapped the pavement of your driveway. his cold gaze locked on you while he held the door open for your entry inside. you, on the other hand, are not daring to speak a word. yet, you couldn’t ignore the adrenaline rush happening inside of you. jude wasn’t the type to go to bed angry, even if it meant handling things in a different way.

“so what is it with you?” he inquired, his voice softer, less hostile than before. “you just think leaving without saying anything would solve anything?”

you jumped a bit, not expecting to exchange words—not at least in the foyer. slowly, you turned around to meet his seething eyes. his hands still grasp the door handle, and he’s anticipating an answer from you.

“i could ask you the same thing, jude,” you stared. “what were you doing with her? hm?”

in an instant, he shook his head, biting his lip to stifle his laugh.

“y/n, did you forget who i am? that i have a public career, and maybe she was just a fan?” all of a sudden, it just hit you. you could just annihilate yourself from the shame you held upon him tonight, but it was in the heat of the moment, and you gave yourself no time to think. and, god, you looked so dumb just accusing him of something so distasteful and unlike him. 

“you think i’d just throw away our relationship for some girl at a club? no. i wouldn’t, y/n,” he added. “you’re mine, and only mine. understand?”

your eyes skimmed the floor, before meeting his dark brown irises. “then prove it.”

at once, his cold eyes turned ravenous.

“you don’t even know what you got yourself into,” he chuckled as he approached your figure. quickly, he locked his hand into your hair and pressed his lips against yours. he didn’t hold back on ambushing your lips. there was still liquor on h​​is tongue, which you could still taste. his arm intertwined around your waist as you began heading upstairs, groans escaping his mouth as you two struggled to find your bedroom.

your back was pressed up against the cold doorframe of your shared room, and he, taking advantage of your state, sought to lace his arms under your thighs. you took notice of the queue and jumped onto them, making it easier for him to spill your body onto the edge of your bed once he’d opened the door. you found yourself giggling once he did, especially with your dress threatening to expose the risque areas of your body. his hands locked your wrists in place, and now you were just docile under his spell. 

his kisses moved from your lips to your neck, leaving hickeys all over. his saliva around each bruise. you were a moaning mess, with his pace almost giving you whiplash. 

his fingers traced your waist, unzipping your dress’s zipper from the sides and finding its way to the wooden floors once it was off. he’s heaving as he’s doing so, almost like a predator finally getting its prey. you hissed once his hands fondled your now exposed breasts, with no warning, whatsoever.

his eagerness doesn’t halt while he’s pulling off your panties. he gives you a quick, sinful glare as his head dips between your thighs. you propped yourself on your elbows while you anticipated what he’d be doing next.

“you’re so wet already, angel,” he purrs against your dribbling cunt. “such a fuckin’ slut for me.”

his tongue wraps around your pussy, giving you no signal or build-up. your back arches from the sudden contact, which quickly leaves you breathless. his eyes linger on you, watching as you go dumb from being tongue-fucked so hungrily. his arms twined around your thighs, leaving you almost powerless against him while he held you in place.

his tongue ran through your slit while his thumb simultaneously found itself toying with your clit. your moans were so loud and pornographic, and you quickly grew your orgasm. 

“fuck, keep going, just like that, baby,” you cried. your hips found themselves grinding against his mouth. you were just growing so impatient, wanting to chase your high so desperately. your hands latched onto the bed sheets to distract yourself before cumming.

his tongue keeps swirling around your clit, your bud puffy and sensitive, while your thighs begin twitching. you could feel tears start to well up in your eyes—you were so close, and he could definitely tell by the way your legs started to tighten and clench around his head.

“jude, i’m gonna cum—” you yelped, throwing your head back and squeezing your eyes shut. right then, he pulled away, leaving you absent of your climax. 

you gasped, anticipating so heavily to cum, but instead, you were left emptyhanded. you could almost cry then and there.

he coughed up a laugh, almost mocking you. “brats don’t get what they want, at least not without earning it.” he stood up, petting your hair. 

“get on your knees.”

an: ntm on my amateur smut writing

࿐ ˚ . ✦ THUNDER. jude bellingham

summary. he's a ten (but he's scared of thunderstorms).

cw. none

word count. 644

maybe it was the light, continuous clicks of water droplets falling from the sky, tapping the pavement they landed on, or the dark gray clouds that emerged whenever it rained—but whatever it was, you loved storms.

it was a quiet reminder of the atypical change in weather that didn’t occur much, but whenever it did, you appreciated it a lot. even indulging in a book or a nice, warm bath to sulk up in the dull atmosphere.

on the other hand, your boyfriend, jude, did not. nine times out of ten, he’s shaken up and hides under the nearest blanket, even at the smallest chant of thunderbolts. 

so, you didn’t find it surprising when you peered through the peephole of your front door to see him in the midst of a storm.

he’s tapping his fingers, scanning the ceiling of your apartment complex, and waiting patiently for you to answer. it seemed as if he was holding some sort of bag too.

you let out a slight chuckle before unlocking your door, and there he was. his eyebrows raised a bit—snapping out of his thoughts—and the corners of his lips formed a slight smile when he peered down at you.

a black, now sodden hoodie draped his shoulders, with the hood covering his face. the sweatshorts he wore turned a darker shade of gray after the rain left its mark on him. 

“aww,” you teased, your voice a bit high-pitched and wary to annoy him. “my poor little baby, chased by the storm?”

a flush crept up his cheeks, and he immediately threw his head back in shame, “shut up.”

you couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at his lack of control over small things like this. especially being older and taller than you, you’d expect him to be at least a little less... hesitant.

“come,” you chirped, scooting away from the door to make space for his entrance. his squeaky shoes tread on your wooden floors, and though it strained your ears a bit, you waited patiently as he lifted from his sneakers.

“i see you packed an overnight bag,” you turned around, navigating toward the fridge that was conveniently adjoined to the foyer.

he began to sync your steps from behind you “yeah," he said, tugging the bag from his shoulders before leaving it aloof on your kitchen counters.

“can i not spend time with my girlfriend now?”

you tilted your head, as discerned by his obvious attempts of misleading you. “or were you just scared of the storm?” you hummed, passing a glass of water from across the counter.

he shook his head, “no really—”

“you don’t have to lie, it’s okay to be a wimp,” you nag, interrupting his sentence.

he clicked his teeth, “i can never win with you, can i?”

you chuckled, now straying toward him. he fixed a stare at you as he took a long drag from the glass in his hands. his eyebrows slightly furrowed in confusion.

now, you were in front of him, pulling him in for a hug before he interrupted your steps, “i’m still wet—”

“i don’t care,” you retorted before engulfing him in a hug. your arms were snug around his waist, and your head was resting on his chest. you took the opportunity to pull back the hood of his sweater. he’s a bit cold, and the smell of his perfume is faint, but you can still smell the woodiness it exudes. quickly, you tiptoed up and took a peck at his lips—the ones you missed so much. pulling away, you were met with a smile that etched his face, complimenting the rest of his features. it was difficult not to be jittery when being affectionate with him, but, you treasured moments like these.

“mmph—i’m soaked now,” you frowned.

“i warned you,” he responded, causing you to roll your eyes.

an: trent fics soon?

࿐ ˚ . ✦ FAMILIAR FACE. jude bellingham

summary. you stumble across your ex at a cafe.

cw. angst, cursing

word count. 1389

you let out a big exhale into the cool atmosphere, adjusting the backpack strap that weighed upon your shoulder. a soft guitar and the low hum of a feminine voice accompanied the headphones attached to your ears.

it was finals season. you’d been studying for long stretches of time throughout the past week or so, and stress was constantly piling upon your shoulders. and if that wasn’t enough, you’d been dealing with a recent breakup.

although it was a mutual breakup, you’d be lying if you said that this wasn’t a tough time for you. honestly, you’d do anything to speed up the time, but it’s been moving slower than ever.

it’s been a month since the separation, and you've been sulking in your room. dishes were piling up on your nightstand, and dirty laundry was piling up on the floor. as much as you've tried to convince yourself that it didn't hurt, it has had an impact on you in a variety of ways, big and small. you've tried to suppress the relics and decided to take a small leap and study at the cafe near your house instead of in your bedroom, surrounded by the mess that's been progressively collecting.

the cafe door immediately chimed as you pulled on the metal handle. you took in the familiar aroma of the coffee beans before walking toward the barista at the register, ordering your ‘regular,’ in other words, a vanilla latte—which perfectly paired with the snowy day outside. you paid before scanning the rest of the building. you come pretty often, so there wasn’t much to compare to the previous visit. however, you became immediately reminiscent of the times you and jude would spend here. he'd sometimes take you before class or on a casual date, and so forth. your eyes met the booth in which you two would always sit together, and you couldn’t help but stare. all the giggles, kisses, and snuggles that you’d share in that seat felt bittersweet as you began to recall the memories.

"y/n?" the barista called, setting the paper cup on the to-go ledge. your head prompted you toward the signal when you realized your coffee was ready. grabbing the cup, you drifted toward the booth you’d previously set your eyes upon. you set your things on the cushion next to you, beginning to study in the sanguine ambiance.

from noon on, you’d be occasionally distracted. sometimes by the chimes of the door, or the bright clothing of passersby. your mind couldn’t occupy the notebook in front of you for too long before wandering toward other happenings in the cafe. while taking a break from studying, a tan figure struck your eye, and it didn’t take you long to decipher who it was: your ex-boyfriend. your heart immediately skipped a beat before you heard the door jingle. fuck. you scrambled to figure out how to disguise yourself because the table wasn't far from the entrance. you pulled the hood of your jacket on, trying to seem engaged with your schoolwork. it felt as if your heart momentarily stopped before a gust of air traveled past you. you took a silent breath, relieved of the potential outcome that could've occurred if he'd seen you.

you tried to attend to your notes for the time being, but the familiar voice behind you was daunting you more than you’d like. the echo of his voice brought a sense of nostalgia. your chest became increasingly heavy as you listened to the small talk he and the barista shared as he placed his order. his voice was soft and faint, and there were glimpses of that damn laugh that you missed too much.

his sneakers squeaked upon the tile as he said his goodbyes to the baristas. you tried looking away again, hoping that your hoodie would hide you well enough. the voice chirped toward you as the figure passed, ending your awaited relief.

“y/n?” he murmured, “is that you?”

your shoulders sank; you didn’t think that he’d be able to see you, but here we are.

your head lifted, making eye contact with the figure ahead of you, “yeah, it’s me,” you replied, gazing at the eyes that you hadn’t seen in some time. “i’m surprised you’re here,” he muttered. “mind if i sit?” he asked, pointing toward the seat in front of you. you nodded, as he slumped into the seat, setting his coffee on the table.

there was a brief pause between your last exchange of words. you fixed your stare on the wall of the cafe as he scanned the table that held your school supplies. 

“how’s school?” he muttered, breaking the silence. “it’s been fine. just stressful.” you replied as he nodded. “how’s work?” you asked, reciprocating the same concern. he let out a big sigh, “yeah, it’s been,” he paused, “a lot, too.” 

this interaction had been awkward so far, to say the least, but it was a brief reminder of why you two had gone separate ways: the lack of communication following your hectic school and work lives.

"have you been taking care of yourself, y/n?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. you shifted your gaze to him, who appeared concerned. you let out a small chuckle. "do i look that rough right now?" you replied, smiling at your cunning reply. "ah, no, not like that—it’s just, you seem tired, and we haven’t seen each other in so long, you know?" he let out a panicked reply as you laughed again.

"i know, i was just kidding, jude," you said, pausing, "i’ve been trying to keep myself together. it’s just been a little difficult, but i’m trying." he let out a hum as he nodded.

the sound of him taking small sips from his drink fell against the sequential wave of silence. 

you’d been thinking of things to say or even bring up to combat the quiet and to leave as fast as possible. you watched his face before breaking the silence, "i still have some of your things at my place if you want me to stop by and return them later to–" you said before he interrupted, "y/n, i don’t think i can do this without you." his voice cracked before his eyes darted toward yours. 

"hmm? what do you mean?" your head tilted at his sudden statement. "i just can’t," he huffed. "i can’t even explain how difficult it is to not wake up by your side anymore, or to see your face whenever i come home. it’s really weighing on me more than you think." you couldn’t help but blink at him, trying to process what he just said. judging by the look on his face, he seemed concerned—almost hopeless. "and i’m sorry if i ever hurt you. i never intended to. it pains me to see how tired you are—probably because of me."

"say something. anything," he prompted again. you tried to choke up a response, but nothing seemed to come out. your feelings before the breakup began to resurface. you were inseparable without him, and truthfully, you haven’t been yourself since the split. you tried to analyze yourself as much as possible before giving a genuine response.

"i," you paused, "i'm not sure, jude." you stammered, slightly shrugging your shoulders. you could tell he was apprehensive from your response. he looked down at his lap as you tried to come up with the right words to say. 

"you know i still love you with my entire heart, right?" you comforted him, who appeared to be upset. "and, i miss you so much, too. it’s been different since you left." you adjoined. "to be honest—i don’t think i can do this much longer without you, either, jude." you watched his head lift up, gaze fixed upon yours.

“so, what do you want to do?” you cocked your head, staring at the figure in front of you. he slightly shrugged his shoulders, “well, do you accept my apology, first of all?” he inquired, ensuing a nod from you. a smile fell on his face, “then, will you be my girlfriend…again? you swayed your head to the side, grinning at the question that resulted in some of the best experiences of your life together. you nodded your head, 

“of course, i’ll be your girlfriend. again.”