So Sad That I Could Be So Brilliant But Im Not, Because Im A Coward And A Wimp.

so sad that i could be so brilliant but I’m not, because I’m a coward and a wimp.

now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ll ever fall into the mindset of an adult or even an older person. in my mind i think i’ll always see myself as a ten year old girl. i don’t feel any older. genuinely feel like an eight year old all the time, in a bad way. now i actually have to act my age and think about my future and speak for myself and i dont think i can handle that.

i cant handle change. roar reference. but i really cant, but then again, is it because i cant handle change or because i haven’t had an experience like this before? yahoo

welcome to my blog 🪛

𓈒⠀⠀𓏸 𓇼 ⠀samya⠀𓇼 𓏸⠀⠀𓈒

> she / her + bisexual

> poc / woc

> if ur looking at my intro page i am a minor so don’t be weird pleaseeeee + will immediately block outwardly sexual blogs, be warned

> my favourite band is weezer but i live for mitski

> gemini sun, leo moon and aries rising

> intj

> cat lover and doctor who fan

> levi ackerman, finnick odair, john price, simon riley, barry sloane, 🙏🙏🙏

guys one of my guy friends has a fucking crush on me like, one, big ego boost, two ewwwwwwww. like he’s also on my hockey team. we both play defence and like ewwww. ewwwww. he’s not even like a brother to me hes a TEAMATE!!!!!! OH MY GOD

like he walked up to me and went “hey, what’s the prettiest girl in our school doing sitting alone,” (because I sit on a bench under the stairs everyday journaling) and also he’s like 5’0, and hey, I like short kings but he is not a king, he still thinks someone farting is the funniest thing in the world. also I have a thing going with a girl, but I didn’t tell him that.

Also he kept asking me if I had a boyfriend / girlfriend and if I had a valentine. like no, my plan for today was to go to the park and sit on the swings for an hour then go to sleep??? And when he asked why I didn’t I said, “I don’t know, heh, I don’t really talk to people at school,” and then he said, and I quote, “well sometimes the more shy people are the cutest” like, thank you, but what? This came out of no where. And also he gave me a scone he made in food tech and also he was like “OH.” When I told him another guy on my team walked me to one of my classes cause I didn’t know where it was, (completely platonic, we were talking about him taking visual arts with his cousin)

uh yeah, and also he (first guy) keeps talking to me about his old girlfriend that he had for a week like a year and a half ago???????? He literally asked me if I was doing something after school and when I was like, “oh, I was gonna go to the park with my sister.” He was like, “uh, oh, well I have scouts after school, heh.” huh? ok. huh

And also he pointed at my leg after I sat down and went “your calf jiggled when you hit it haha why?” huh

huh

like I don’t know?????? cause that’s what my calf does???? And also ouch, like I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean to say it like that but like, bro, one of the reasons why I don’t talk to people is because I’m fucking insecure?????? Two days ago someone said “samya, your here!!” (Cause I was late) and one of my classmates who is like kinda my friend was like “yeah, she’s here.” And her tone was kinda off and I’ve been thinking about it since then like am I going crazy or was she just responding to what he said???

my feet hurt because im speed walking down the street in stiff uniform shoes