Thank You So Much For The Mention @cityofidek I Am So Late For This But Here Are Some Of The Most Awesome

Thank you so much for the mention @cityofidek I am so late for this but here are some of the most awesome bloggers

@cityofidek @marvelmusing @hxseok-honee @dizzydancingdreamer @azsazz @azrielscrown @once-upon-an-imagine @oliviajdjarin @ignyxdaughter @dreamwritesimagines @socio-kai-path1972 @love-strawberry @violet-shadows @stardustdreams-andcaffeine

✨🧡🌙SEND THIS TO TEN OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING ✨🧡

these are the ones off the top of my head:

@saphiraprince22 @azrielhours @azsazz @eddiemunsons-girl @athena-writes-i-guess @ashwhowrites @bookish-whore @oliviajdjarin @ellievickstar @moonfawnx

and a couple more cause i LOVE these blogs

@violet-shadows @acourtofwhatthefuck @writingsbychlo

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Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: None…well I shouldn’t say none, there are a couple of swear words in here but this is pure FLUFF! All the fluffy bunnies and unicorns and all the feels. So sweet it’s tooth rotting.

Word Count: 4.7k-ish

Summary: Billy and Reader have been best friends since childhood, they’re love of baseball and horror movies brought them together and they’ve stayed friends for many years. Will they stay just friends or could it be something more?

A/N: Based off an ask from my sweet sweet Lily @munsonownsmyass The prompt of watching a scary movie and “It’s getting late, I should go.” I really wanted to make this as fluffy as possible. And thank you Amanda @mattmurdocksscars for suggesting a certain type of candy that Billy might like. This is sorta Halloween but also not really if that makes any sense. Since Kinktober is almost over, maybe y’all are ready for some fluff? I dunno but I hope you like it!

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

Every day you had to walk past the Ray of Hope group home going to and from school. The boys would be outside playing stickball in the street after school and you had always wanted to ask if you could play with them but you were painfully shy and it prevented you from asking so you just kept your head down and made your way home. So when the baseball rolled and hit your foot on your way home one day, you had the perfect opportunity to show them what you could do.

A tall, slender boy with eyes like pools of black ink and a mop of dark hair asked you for the ball back. You recognized him from school, Billy Russo. He was the boy all the others at the home looked up to. Even at a young age, he was a leader, the kids took his direction, they followed him.

You, on the other hand, didn’t really like being told what to do so instead of tossing the ball to Billy, you threw it to another boy who was about 30 feet behind him.

”Ouch!!” The boy cried out after catching the ball with his glove.

Billy turned from the boy who caught the ball, back to you and smiled. Even back then, his smile was perfect. “You wanna play?” He asked.

You nodded, shyly.

“What position do you play?” Billy asked.

“First base.” Your tiny voice cracked.

He pointed to himself. “Centerfield. I’m Billy by the way.”

“I know.” You said shyly. “I’ve seen you at school. I’m y/n.”

“I know.” He said. “I’ve seen you at school too. You gotta glove?” He asked.

You nodded again.

“Ok, we’ll see you here tomorrow after school.”

Excitedly, you bit back a smile. “See you tomorrow.”

As you walked away, you heard one of the boys say to Billy. “What are you doing, Russo? She’s a GIRL!”

Without missing a beat, you heard Billy tell him “She’s a girl who has a better arm than you do! I say she gets to play!”

And from that day on, you and Billy were inseparable, the other boys eventually warmed up to you but you and Billy formed a great friendship. The two of you hung out at school, after school, ate lunch together, sometimes you even brought him home to have dinner with you and your family.

It didn’t matter to you that he didn’t have expensive sneakers or that he had holes in his t-shirts, he was a great friend. He was your best friend.

The two of you played ball together every day after school until one cloudy afternoon you showed up to play and Billy wasn’t there. When you asked where he was, one of the other boys told you that Billy had an accident, he broke his arm.

Every day, without fail, you visited him until he was well enough to come back to school. You helped him carry his books, his homework, whatever he needed, you were there to help him.

He never wanted to talk about the accident, although one of the other boys let it slip that a man who visited them all the time was the one who broke Billy’s arm but that’s all he told you and you never pushed him to talk about it.

His arm wasn’t the same after his accident, and you knew that was just devastating to Billy because he loved to play baseball. He shut himself off from a lot of his friends after that but not from you which you were grateful for. You were the one person that knew him better than anyone and the one person he always wanted around.

The one positive thing that came out of Billy’s accident was you discovered that you both loved horror movies. While he was recovering from his accident, that’s what you did with your time together.

More than likely, you were too young to be watching some of the movies you watched but they didn’t pay much attention to him or what he was doing at the group home. And as you grew into your teens, you started a tradition of watching horror movies together every Halloween night.

“Ok y/n, what’s your favorite scary movie?” Billy asked.

You sat back against the couch and thought about it for a minute.

“Are you quoting Scream or are you actually asking me?” You joked.

He gave you the side eye and frowned a little. “I’m asking you. You’re such a smartass, ya know that?” He glared at you.

“Better than being a dumbass!” You said to him trying to control your laughter. “Ok, ok I’ll stop. Well, I love the original Halloween. It’s a classic. Oh! Remember two years ago, when we went to the drive-in and watched Scream for the first time? I had just gotten my license and after I dropped you off, I checked the back seat of the car because that movie scared me so much. Oh and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre is another favorite.”

Billy flashed that perfect smile at you and then started to laugh. “Y/N. That movie scared you SO much. I think I still have the claw marks in my arm, Wolverine.”

He was always cracking jokes about you being scared. You reminded him that he never made it through a scary movie without jumping at least once. “Wait a minute, Russo! It’s not like you never ever get scared either!”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Ok, I wouldn’t go as far as saying I get ‘scared,’ y/n.” You watched him make air quotes with his fingers.

That made you laugh. Billy trying to explain that he doesn’t get “scared,” he just gets “caught off guard,” which is the same thing. “Ok Billy, whatever you say.” You winked at him and wondered internally if everyone had a friend like Billy, a friend that you could completely be yourself around. Life was better with a friend like him.

Instead of going to college, Billy joined the marines. You were very proud of him for serving his country but also a little scared because you knew he’d be deployed and there was always that possibility he wouldn’t come home. In passing, you had asked why he didn’t want to go to college. With Billy, it was best not to push too hard.

“You don’t want to go to college, Billy?” The tone of your voice was gentle but with concern.

“I’m not smart enough for college, y/n. You know that.” He tried to sound like it didn’t bother him, but you knew better, he couldn’t fool you, and he was smarter than he gave himself credit for.

“Billy, you know that’s not true.” You said.

“Ok fine, but it doesn’t mean I have the money to go though.” He stated.

“Well maybe you could get scholarships, a loan, or I could ask my parents to help. I could get a job and…”

He shook his head and cut you off. “Absolutely not, y/n!” He pointed his long slender finger at you. “I couldn’t even think about taking you or your parent’s hard earned money. I’m not your charity case.”

There’s nothing you wanted more than to help Billy set himself up to be successful in life and if you or your parents could help with loans or scholarships, you figured you had to try. “You know I’ve NEVER treated you that way, Billy. And my parents haven’t either, they care about you too!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes in frustration. “I’m sorry, I know they do and I know you do but I’m going to do this on my own, ok?” He lowered his voice. “Ok?”

Your expression softened and you walked over to hug him. “If that’s what you want Billy, then that’s what I want. But you know if you ever change your mind…”

He cut you off. “I know, I know.” And he hugged you back, Billy gave the best hugs.

The two of you talked all the time after you went off to college and he went to basic training whether it was through e-mail or he’d call. Billy asked about school, and if you had watched any new movies without him.

“Well I’m bummed you won’t be around for our Halloween movie night.” There was a sad tone to your voice, you really did miss him.

“I know y/n, but we can do it when I get back, it doesn’t have to be a Halloween thing.” Billy said. He sounded like he missed you too.

It was hard to find time to see Billy even when he did come home, he had new marine buddies he hung out with a lot, you had new friends from school that you did things with. It seemed like the two of you could only manage a few hours together each time.

You each celebrated turning 21 without the other and it was so hard not having your best friend around for a huge milestone like that but you were very thankful the two of you never lost touch. Your other friends didn’t know you like Billy did and it was the same for him.

Billy managed to make it home for your college graduation. He barely made it but he made it. You had never been so happy to see him. He was the first person you saw after you received your degree, not your mom, or your dad…you only saw Billy.

When the two of you locked eyes on each other, you took off running full speed towards him, he caught you when you jumped into his arms and he gave you a quick kiss on the top of your head.

“I am SO proud of you, y/n!” Billy exclaimed, his dark brown eyes looking at every square inch of you, it had been awhile since he last saw you.

“I didn’t think you’d be able to come, Billy!” Your face hurt from smiling so much and it was all because of him.

“Well, I just knew I needed to be here for you.” He smiled warmly at you and handed you a gift bag.

“What is this?” You asked.

“Just open it.” Billy insisted.

You moved the tissue paper out of the way and pulled out the gift Billy gave you. It was a shadow box, on the glass the word “memories” was printed on it along with a picture of two tickets.

Inside the box were tickets from every single movie, baseball game, basketball game, and every horror convention you had ever been to since you were children. That was why Billy always asked for your ticket after you were done with it, he saved them all.

It was the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given you. “Billy, this is…” you paused.

He interrupted you “You hate it, it’s lame isn’t it.” And he yanked the shadow box out of your hand.

“Billy Russo, you give me back my present right now! I do not hate it…I love it. You saved all of our tickets?”

Your dad was always getting free tickets to the Yankees or the Knicks so you’d always ask Billy to come along with you and your family. You two always went to the movies together from the time you were kids all the way up until you left for college and he left to join the marines, there were so many tickets inside of that box.

He shied away from you a little, ran his fingers through his hair, and bit down on his bottom lip. “Uh, yeah…I saved them because, well, obviously you know I didn’t have a lot growing up so I really loved having something tangible that I could look at and hold in my hands to remember how much fun we had together.”

You set the shadow box on the ground so you could hug him, he hugged you back and squeezed you tight.

When Billy hugged you back, you had a feeling in your stomach that was new to you, it had never happened any other time you were close to each other. Butterflies. But that couldn’t be. This was Billy Russo, he’s been your best friend since you were in grade school, you’ve known him your whole life, there was no way you were in love with him and certainly there was no way he was in love with you.

Or was he? This gift was very personal and thoughtful. Even though you quickly put that out of your mind, after that day it was hard to ignore the flutters in your stomach or the heat that sheathed your entire body any time he texted or called while he was away. You were just very thankful he wasn’t there to see you blush.

After three tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan, Billy was finally getting out of the service and starting his own private security company, Anvil. He had done it, he had worked hard and because of his hard work, it had paid off. His company was thriving and you were enormously proud of him. And since he was once again a civilian, he had more free time and you could pick up your traditions again.

It would be your first Halloween together in years. While you were apart, you’d still watch movies, you’d still have discussions about them but it wasn’t the same as it would be if you were in the same room together.

And ever since Billy gave you that shadow box, you were still trying to suppress your feelings for him. He clearly did not feel the same way you did, he never gave off a vibe like he was in love with you or even had those kind of feelings for you…but that gift told you otherwise, it gave you a feeling of “maybe?”

You snapped out of your daydream because Billy said he was coming over, bringing pizza and beer with him. He said he would take care of dinner if you would take care of popcorn and candy, the excitement in his voice was childlike, and he was genuinely excited to finally be able to spend a Halloween with you like you used to when you were kids.

You were excited also. Orange and purple lights were hung up everywhere around your apartment, dancing skeletons, spider webs, and bats were placed on every piece of empty wall space you could find, skulls and tapered candles decorated your coffee table, and you made sure you picked up all the candy that Billy loves, dark chocolate M&M’s, peanut butter cups, and salt water taffy.

There was one type of chocolate you remembered was Billy’s favorite, the only time he had them was when he came over to your house. They were just something your parents always had on hand, dark chocolate truffles.

He never had anything like that growing up in the group home, it was such a special treat for him and you’d always send him home with some no matter how many times he told you he didn’t want to take them.

A few quick raps on your door startled you, Billy was here. You quickly finished putting all the candy out on the coffee table and hurried to answer the door. Glancing through the peep hole to make sure it was actually Billy, he boomed from the other side of the door. “Come on y/n, open up, this thing is hot.”

After opening the door, he smiled at you and handed the beer over to you. He still had his suit on, he must have come straight from work. “Your weird neighbor from downstairs was giving me the glad eye again when I walked in.” He said.

Your come back was standard banter between the two of you. “Well maybe she likes you and thinks you’re pretty.” You started to giggle. “Oh, she also has five cats.”

Billy set the pizza on the dining room table, removed his suit jacket and started to roll up the sleeves of his dress shirt. “Five cats?! Yeah no thanks. Go get some plates, smartass. And don’t you dare…”

Before he could even finish his sentence, you had already said “Better than being a dumbass!”

He rolled his eyes and his shoulders dropped. “Aaaaaand you said it anyway!”

“You’re not the boss of me, Billy Russo. I do what I want.” You smiled at him while getting the plates out of the cabinet.

After Billy put the pizza down, he walked over to the antique desk you had on the other side of the room and picked up the shadow box he gave you. “You still have this, huh?” He let his fingers trace over the word “memories,” smiling while he did it.

“Why would I ever get rid of it?” You inquired.

He set it back down on top of the desk but still continued to stare at it. “I dunno, I just thought it was a silly little gift.”

“It’s not silly to me, Billy.” You said softly, his back was towards you, it was hard not to stare at him and you hoped he wouldn’t turn around to catch you staring at him and blushing.

You had always thought Billy was cute, but he had grown up to be incredibly handsome, and you watched beautiful women throw themselves at him all the time. He could have any woman he wanted and yet he never actually had a real relationship.

And your track record wasn’t any better either, it was just a string of bad relationships with men that treated you poorly and felt like you just couldn’t be yourself with any of them, it was just easy with Billy, he knew everything about you. Feeling like you had to change the subject or else he’d see right through that statement, you said “You must be hungry, are you ready to eat and watch something scary?”

“Absolutely.” He turned around and winked at you.

The first movie you watched was The Shining, it was a classic. A long time ago, the two of you talked about someday visiting the actual hotel that the book is based off of.

Next, was Scream for nostalgic purposes, talking about watching it at the drive-in was special to you which spiraled into the two of you reminiscing more than actually watching the movie which felt really nice.

You and Billy talking about old times at school, him rescuing you from your asshole prom date, the time you didn’t talk to him for a few days after he told you he was enlisting, and the day he caught a foul ball at Yankee Stadium. He tried to give it to you but you wanted him to keep it, the smile on his face after he caught it was burned into your memory, it was something you would never forget.

There were a lot of sentences that started with “Do you remember the time when…” It just felt really nice to have your best friend next to you on the couch again.

The last movie you decided to watch was one neither one of you had seen because you promised to watch it together, The Strangers.

“This is terrifying!” You screeched. “It’s terrifying because it could actually happen.”

Sitting next to him felt so natural, like you were meant to be there, your fingernails clawing into his skin and burying your face into his shoulder during the scary moments but Billy didn’t mind. He didn’t mind at all, he would steal glances here and there, just to see the expressions on your face, and he was careful to make sure you didn’t notice him staring at you.

The way you would firmly grip the blanket in between your fingers, the way your whole body tensed when you knew something was going to happen but you weren’t sure what it was, and the way you relaxed a little when he pulled part of the blanket onto his lap and inched closer to you so his knee was touching yours, letting you know that he was there and everything was ok.

About halfway through the movie, you hit pause and got up from the couch to get another beer and some popcorn. When you walked back into the living room, Billy was resting his elbows on his knees, carefully unwrapping one of the dark chocolate truffles, you noticed it was the same color as his eyes. You paused just for a second to look at him as the dark blue wrapping crumpled under his fingertips.

Right before he took a bite, he glanced over at you. “You remembered these are my favorite, huh.”

Making your way back to the couch, you said “Of course I did. Remember how I would send you home with a bag of them every time you left my house? I know how much you love them, Billy.” The butterflies were back.

Taking your seat next to him, you set the two beers and the bowl of popcorn on the table. Billy spoke again, his voice was low but it also sounded a little sad.

“Ya know, back when I was at the group home we were lucky if we got Halloween candy at all, let alone candy like this. I would always savor it, I’d let it melt, I didn’t want to finish it. I had the same feeling when we were done watching movies together at your house. I knew that I would eventually have to leave but all I wanted to do was stay.”

His words were shattering your heart into a million pieces, you could practically hear it breaking inside your chest. Billy never talked about his feelings, he always just pushed them deep down inside where no one could get to them, not even him.

“Being around you and your family was the only time where I was truly happy as a kid. All the stuff we did together when we were young was just” He paused. That’s why I gave you that shadow box. I guess it was my way of telling you that those memories are…special to me.”

You tried to stop the tears from forming in your eyes but it was too late. “They’re special to me too, Billy. That box is…” you paused for a second to try and conceal the hitch in your voice. “It’s the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me, I love it.”

He turned to finally look at you as he had been staring straight ahead while he was pouring his feelings out, he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, and moved in closer, cupping your cheeks in between his strong hands.

You looked into his eyes, Billy had the most beautiful dark brown eyes you had ever seen, and he kept moving in closer, the gap between you getting smaller until you were both breathing the same air.

You could practically taste the dark chocolate on his lips he was so close, and your heart was racing. Your best friend, Billy Russo, was going to kiss you. Slowly, you closed your eyes in anticipation but he stopped short and quickly dropped his hands away from your face.

“It’s getting late, I—I should go.” He said quietly as he stood up, grabbed his jacket and started to head for the door.

You jumped off of the couch and chased after him but his long legs enabled him to walk across the room in just a few short strides. “Billy…wait…please…I don’t…” It was too late though, he pretty much closed the door in your face and still facing the door, with one hand on the door knob, you whispered “I don’t want you to go…” Resting your forehead against the door with your eyes closed, you softly said something you’ve wanted to say for a very long time even though he wasn’t there to hear you. “Because…I love you.”

A tear finally trickled down your cheek, you turned and started to walk away from the door when you heard three light knocks. Confused, you took two steps back towards the door and you could barely get the door open when Billy’s lips crashed onto yours, hands cupping your face once again and you could actually taste the slightly bitter chocolate now.

Your lips parted, his tongue intertwined with yours, and he pressed his kiss so firmly against your lips that it made it hard to catch your breath. You ran your fingers through his wild black hair and lightly scraped his scalp, still completely surprised by what was happening.

Billy pulled away and you were finally able to catch your breath. “I love you too, y/n. I love you too. My sweet girl. It’s always been you.”

Still breathing heavy, you asked him “I—wait, you do? But—but when Billy?”

He took your hands into his and pulled you into an embrace. “I guess in some way I always have but I really started to feel it when I was away from you on deployment. I knew I had to fight my hardest so I could come home to you—I needed to come home to you.”

The tightness in your shoulders eased as soon as he wrapped his arms around you. “When you hugged me at my graduation, after you gave me that gift, I felt…different, like I never wanted to let you go but how was I supposed to tell you that without messing up our friendship?”

“Well…you’re telling me now, right?” He responded with. “Our friendship is the only relationship I can’t stand to lose or mess up so I just kept my feelings to myself like I do with everything else. I guess we’re both a couple of dumbasses, aren’t we.”

Chuckling against his chest, you started to pull away from his warm embrace to look up at him. “I guess we are.” You said, brushing his beard with your thumbs. “Do you want to finish the movie?”

“Yes, but before we do, I’m going to kiss you again.” Billy said with a sly smile on his face. “And tell you that I love you…again.”

You couldn’t manage to say anything right away, your cheeks felt hot, and your legs were trembling. “I love you too, Billy.”

He swept his fingers across your cheeks to wipe the tears away, took your chin in between his forefinger and his thumb and leaned down to kiss you, delicately like you were made of glass and he didn’t want to break you.

When you touched his arm, it was warm but felt the goosebumps skirt across his skin, you were giving HIM goosebumps and the butterflies weren’t just in your stomach anymore, they were everywhere.

Billy tenderly placed kisses down your neck, back to your lips and up to your forehead, the lines around his eyes crinkling while smiling at you in between kisses. You’ve never seen him so happy.

He backed away a little and turned around to look over his shoulder at you. “You wanna ride, beautiful?” He asked with a playful look in his eyes.

You bit down on your bottom lip and jumped onto his back and clasped your hands around his neck, he held onto the back of your knees and started off towards the couch. Billy used to give you piggy back rides all the time when you were young, it felt just like old times.

His arm was draped over you as you rested your head against his chest with the blanket spread out across your legs. The bowl of popcorn on his lap, which you later spilled because you got scared, he laughed at you of course and after many stolen glances and kisses to your forehead, you finally finished the movie.

Outside, the howling wind lulled the two of you to sleep in each other’s arms, Billy held you close for the rest of the night and he planned to do so for the rest of his life. You were his definition of happiness and he finally had everything he had ever wanted. He was home.

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @munsonownsmyass

If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕

A moment of light during the siege

This is so sweet 😋 💗

false confessions | azriel

summary; you overhear azriel say something, and try to cooperate. word count; 4595 notes; based on this ask, that I got a little carried away with!

"I love her, I really do." Az sighed, your heart swelling a little as you listened from where you were perched within the library, Nesta at your side. When you'd heard the men come in, you'd been intent on going to see your mate, but they'd been talking, Cassian had been deep into a story about him and Nesta, and your friend had been adamant about hearing it out. So, you'd let her grab your wrist, sneaking the two of you deeper into the library, hiding away between the shelves where even Azriel's shadows had not bothered to slip away and investigate. 

"But?" Rhysand prompted, your heart skipping a beat in your chest at the pause that followed, the silence seeming to drag on. 

"But... she's so clingy sometimes." Azriel exhaled the words on a breath, and Cassian snickered a little in response. "I just- sometimes I want my peace and quiet, and it just feels like whenever we're together, she's right on top of me at home, we never just.. do our own thing."

Your stomach twisted, and Nesta's fingers tightened around your wrist as she was still gripping it. All playfulness was gone, though. She let go a second later, straightening up and brushing down her skirts primly, pausing only when you grasped her in response, shaking your head. You knew that your friend would defend you to the ends of the earth if you asked, but you didn't want her to. This wasn't her problem, or anyone else's, it was yours. 

You were spinning, mind feeling like it was going a million miles an hour, the way it felt to fly home with Azriel when drunk after a night at Rita’s, while your stomach twisted the way it did the morning after said nights out. You weren’t sure where this problem had come from, up until now, you’d always thought Azriel liked the affectionate side of you, the part that just couldn't get enough of him. Clearly, that was not the case.

Your eyes tracked the movements of Azriel's shadows as they slithered out further, lazily, but inching ever closer to you and Nesta's position. Slowly, in an attempt not to get caught at all, you snuck backwards, taking her with you. Manoeuvring through the stacks, you stayed hidden, the two of you slipping out through the back exit and unseen, and in silence. 

Only once their voices had entirely faded and you were slowing your pace between the twists and turns of the corridors did Nesta finally let a loud and obscene curse slip from her lips. "I'm gonna' kick ten tons of shit out of them all."

"No." The word was icy on your tongue, and her head snapped to you, You gave a soft wince in apology. "I'm not mad at him."

"What? Why not?" 

"Because.. he's right. I am clingy, I just thought he liked that. I thought he liked when we were together, I never sensed anything otherwise down the bond, perhaps he's just good at hiding it. But, you heard him, he doesn't like it, so it's down to me to stop." You shrugged, but it didn't stop the stinging in your throat, and you slammed up walls at your end of the bond, hoping the hurt beginning to build hadn't yet leaked across to reach him. 

"What I heard," Nesta muttered, ice on her own voice as her arms crossed angrily over her chest, "was my mate chuckling his smug little ass off at the comment. Jerk. He can sleep in another bed tonight." She was equally as angry, on your behalf, and you grinned a little at the affection she displayed for you. 

"You don't have to do that."

"It's for me. He doesn't get to gossip about things like this behind my back. I wonder how many things I have done that irritate him that he's never told me, simply choosing to whine about it to those other bats." She hissed the word out like an insult, and you couldn't find fault in her logic. "I'd bet Feyre would agree."

"Would agree with what?" You both jumped, rather violently, approaching the dinner hall where said sister was sitting comfortably, a sketchbook and some charcoals out in front of herself, brows raised. Nesta didn't hesitate, stalking across the room and offering her daemati sister her hand. Brushing off charcoal on her skirt, she took it gently, gasping a second later after replaying the memory. "Those... those jerks!”

“That’s what I said!” Nesta burst, hands on her hips, and only the soft cooing of her nephew was enough to replace the scowl she wore with a slight smile. Your attention remained fixed on Feyre as she processed the covert conversation you’d secretly witnessed.

“No wonder Rhys locked me out, I didn't think much of it, boy talk, but this kind of boy talk?" She frowned, offering a sympathetic look your way, and the solidarity of your friends made you feel that much better. You rubbed your temples, swallowing again thickly, the weight of it all beginning to bring you down a little. "Fey, can you just take me home?"

"Of course, Nesta will watch Nyx for a moment, right?" His auntie was already leaning over his bassinet, tapping the tip of his nose teasingly as the baby babbled happily in return. With a hand in hers, Feyre took you home, a warm hug and a chastising word about their behaviour, her parting gift, before leaving you alone in the house belonging to you and your mate. 

The house was quiet when you were alone, the middle of the day meaning you would be alone for quite a while yet, leaving you plenty of time to decide on your course of action. You glanced around, somehow feeling out of place within your own home. It all felt.. different, somehow.

Were you mad? No, only sad, and so retaliation didn't seem fair. 

Sure, you were upset he'd talk to his friends about it rather than simply tell you, but Azriel had always struggled with 'talking about it', and had never wanted to hurt you. Emotionally inept at times, perhaps this was simply his way of trying to protect your feelings. A conversation you were never supposed to hear, a hurt you were never supposed to feel, because your mate was simply putting up with it to let you feel better. 

You couldn’t have that. This relationship wasn’t supposed to be about secret sacrifices, it was supposed to be about trust and love and mutual respect. You’d sworn it when finding out you were mates, and sworn it again at the ceremony, and you tried to hold it up every day. Azriel wanted to spare your feelings, and now, you’d spare his, too.

It was hours before he returned, and you’d found yourself slipping back into your regular routine, making everything feel normal again by sticking to what you knew. You were unloading ingredients, cooking a comfort meal for yourself, when your mate returned home.

You first caught the tell-tale sign of feet hitting the ground outside from the sky, then steps got closer and closer up the pathway, before finally, the door opening and closing.

By the time you heard him taking off his boots and hanging up his coat, you'd found it within yourself to muster a reasonably convincing smile, and shake away any lingering thoughts about it. You are doing this for Azriel, to make him happy, to love him the way he’d loved you for years, without ever telling you. Your body twitched, aching to move to him like you always did, to greet him at the door with a kiss, with a hug, with something, and you firmly rooted your feet to the ground. After a pause, clearly anticipating what you now realised was an unwanted overload of affection, Azriel left the entry, stepping through the large open-arc into the kitchen. 

"Hello, my love.." You only smiled, ignoring the curious tone in his voice, brushing your hands down the front of your apron. "What have you been up to today?"

"I saw Nesta." 

"Oh?" He paused by your side, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek, and you tipped your face to the side receiving it, but made no move for more the way you usually would. 

"She gave me a couple of new books, and said she’d return the other ones." You only hoped he simply hadn't noticed that the book pile on the coffee table had not, in fact, changed at all. He didn't glance over, and you moved away, to the food laid out ready to be prepared for dinner. 

"Are you alright, my love? You don't seem quite like yourself, tonight.”

You redirected your glance to the vegetables, only nodding in response, and taking a deep breath to force another smile. "I'm just fine, don't worry, just a little tired today."

He lingered for a second, before nodding himself, offering a smile in return, and a flush of reassuring love down the bond. You let it in, letting it warm you from the inside out. So, this is what he wanted, he had noticed and was already responding better. It was both relieving and painful. He rolled up his sleeves, taking another step closer to you. "What are we making? What can I do to help?"

"Not a thing, I've got it here, don't worry." His head shot up, brows furrowing once again, and your hand almost reached out, wishing to smooth that spot between on his face that had wrinkled with the frown. He noticed this time, the slight raise of your hand before you lowered it. 

"But, I thought you liked it when we cooked together? You said you like how I can tell you about my day, while we make dinner." It's true, you had said that, but that was just another one of the events you'd forced upon him, wasn't it? Another act where he wanted to do his own thing, but was instead beholden to your wishes.

"I do, but we don't have to cook together every night. I'm fine here, I was just in my thoughts, is all. You could tell me about your day while we eat?” A flash of hurt travelled across his face, as though you were rejecting him, and so it was your turn to send a pulse of love down the bond to him. He tugged in response, pulling a smile from you, a real one, the way it always did when he did that. 

With a kiss placed on your forehead, he left in silence a moment later. Not long after, his footsteps were on the stairs, bath filling in the bathroom, and you let out a sigh at his absence. 

He returned in time for dinner, one of his shadows had been left behind, not-so-subtly lingering near the chopping boards to monitor you, and so you'd been careful about making sure to seem positively chipper until he returned. He helped carry everything through to the table, commenting gently under his breath about how good it all looked, and you thanked him as you poured wine, letting him serve food for you both onto your respective plates. 

Taking opposite seats, the lull lasted not a full second, before Azriel was diving right into a spirited recap of his day:

"Rhysand and Cassian are in the doghouse." You almost slipped with your wine glass as you took a nerve-soothing sip, and Azriel was smirking as he chopped his chicken up, lifting a piece on his fork to his lips, awaiting your response. 

"Oh? And why is that?" You followed suit, hoping your tone didn't give it away, already knowing exactly why they were upset. All three of you had felt a little betrayed by their conversation behind your backs. 

"Not a clue. All I know is that after we finished our discussion, Nesta and Feyre wanted nothing to do with either. Rhys was all 'Feyre, darling, I was thinking we could catch dinner on the Sidra tonight, I made a reservation'," Azriel mocked his best friend's voice, and genuine laughter spilt from you, his eyes glittering a little and the bond between you humming once again. "And then Feyre said 'I was thinking I'd rather spend the evening with anyone else, right now, actually'. He was speechless. As were Cass and I." 

He was so excited to share the gossip, like it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened, and the thought that perhaps this wouldn't be so hard crossed your mind. The same Azriel, the same you, just with less.. togetherness. Less touching. Perhaps, it would even make the times together and the touches even more special than you'd always thought they were. "And Cassian?"

"Even worse. He was in the midst of laughing at Rhys' shocked face when Nesta all but removed his balls in front of us." He took a swig of his wine, and you placed a piece of chicken into your mouth, excited to hear just how she'd unleashed that anger she'd been holding when you'd last seen her. "She said, 'oh, laugh it up, bat boy. See how much you're laughing when you're laying in bed alone tonight, nothing but your right hand to keep you company'."

That made your jaw drop, Azriel's deep laughter permeating the air at your reaction, and you felt proud of your friend, even if you did feel a little bad for Cassian. That's what they get for complaining behind their mates' backs instead of being honest. 

"So, Feyre then proceeded to thank Rhysand for the reservation, take both Nyx and Nesta and winnow away without another word. Presumably to said reservation for a lovely sisterly dinner." Az shrugged, turning back to his food, and you sipped at your wine. Good for them. "When I left, Rhys and Cass were grumbling at the dinner table, trying to work out what they'd done wrong."

That sent a pang of pain shooting back through your chest, but you quickly suppressed it, beginning to tell him all about your own day, and your suddenly-made plans to go shopping instead of sitting at home with him all day tomorrow. He didn't object, only encouraged you. 

After dinner, with plates cleared away and wine glasses refilled, you'd both moved to the living room, a quiet night planned as he settled onto the couch, book in hand, opening his action-packed thriller to the page he'd left off at as you stoked the fire idly, stocking a few more logs on. 

When there was nothing more you could do to it, you stood, brushing down your skirts and leaving the room, not missing the trail of his eyes after you, or the sweep of one of his shadows, trying to curl around your ankle as you hurried through the house and up the stairs. You had planned to simply settle into bed, let your mind spin and wander, but with his watchful little trick giving you it's full-attention, you were forced to move through your preparations for bed, and follow its lead when it wrapped itself around your wrist, tugging you back downstairs. 

When you returned, Azriel's glass was empty, book still open, but his gaze was on the doorway as you walked through it. "Where'd you go?"

"I thought I'd prepare for bed before reading tonight, seeing as I'm so tired, that way I can get in bed as soon as the need arises." Your hands locked in front of yourself, and dipped his head in a gesture toward your book pile. 

"Will you sit with me and read for a while, then?"

"Of course." What were you supposed to do, say no? You were giving him space, but when he asked you to stay, who were you to deny it? Picking up the book from the top of the pile, you settled down into the large armchair on one side of the table, perpendicular to the couch Azriel sat on. As you opened your book, his snapped shut, and he let out a rough sigh. 

"What are you doing?"

"I'm reading." You teased, waving your book at him, but he was not in such a playful mood, it seemed. 

"I see that. Why are you doing it over there?"

You faltered. What now? Confess to hearing him, or continue to spare his feelings the way he had been sparing yours for years. The choice seemed clear. "Sitting closer to the fire, so I don't get cold."

"You never get cold, because you sit with me. You sit here, and if you get cold, I wrap a wing around you, and you get that cute little blush on your face and make one of those jokes about Illyrians being built warmer for those 'damn cold mountains'. So, why are you sitting over there?"

Busted. You worried your lower lip, trying to decide exactly what to say, but he beat you to it, his face crumpling a little as realisation washed over him. 

"You heard us in the library." It wasn't a question, no, it was a statement. A fact, he knew it. Your mate was far too intelligent and deductive for his own good, sometimes. He put down his book, crossing the room in a flash, and removing yours from your hold too. He slipped down to one knee before you, grasping your hands in his, and he gaped for a few moments, no words coming. "I didn't mean it," was what he settled on. 

"'Course you did, Az. It's okay." You squeezed his hands lightly, and he gripped back firmer, like you might pull away from him if he didn't hold on. "I was a little upset to know you'd rather tell your friends than simply tell me if something I was doing was bothering you, but you're allowed to be bothered by things."

"No, I didn't mean it, my love. Please, don't take it to heart." There was a pleading under his voice, like he thought this might drive a wedge between you both, and you pried one hand free to sit comfortingly over his cheek. His head tipped into the touch. 

"Az, it's okay, really. Not everything is always going to be perfect between us, but in future, if I do something you don't like, just tell me, okay?"

"No, no, no.." He was panicking now, so much so that the fear was beginning to ripple down the bond, you couldn't just hear it in his voice but feel it ricocheting through your own chest. Cold, like shards of ice. "Everything is perfect, and that is the problem. Rhys was complaining about all the changes with Nyx. About how he loves his son so much, but lately, Feyre hasn't even wanted to touch him, and she's had such mood swings because of the sleepless nights, he's frazzled. One minute she's coming onto him, the next she's snapping at him because he didn't kiss her just right. Cassian was complaining because Nesta is so fiercely independent and he loves it, but when all that overprotective side of him kicks in and she snaps at him for going full-Cass-mode on her, he hates it. He wishes sometimes she'd just let him clean her wounds and treat her gently."

You didn't know quite what to say, confusion filling you, and he pressed on, pushed a little closer, never letting your gaze slip from his, holding you captive with it.

"Then they were looking at me, like I was supposed to say something, anything. Like, they'd been vulnerable about things they couldn't tell their mates without feeling embarrassed, as though it was my turn. I couldn't think of anything, because, baby, everything is perfect. All I wanted to say was, 'can't relate, Rhysand; maybe one day but not today. Can't relate Cassian; my girl protects me as much as I protect her, we fuss over each other'. I didn't want to upset them, and I realised what they wanted was clingy, the kind of clingy we have, the kind of clingy I love. So, I tried to tell them it wasn't all it seemed, so they'd feel better."

His thumbs soothed over your knuckles, the only sounds between you being the popping of the fire and the ticking of the large clock, until you sighed. He leaned down, kissing the hand still clutched in his own, before twisting to press a kiss to the palm on his cheek before you could retract it. 

"It damn near broke my heart when you didn't greet me at the door tonight. It's my favourite part of getting up in the morning, knowing that when I come home, you'll come flying into my arms, and show me so much love, a kind of love I never thought I'd have. But you didn't, you said you were fine, though. I worried you were mad at me, too. You didn't want to cook together, I hated that, because I like being part of the things you like. You didn't kiss me, you haven't kissed me all night, I miss it. I miss it so much. You didn't hold my hand at dinner, and now you won't sit with me. I'm worried, my love. I'm scared, you have to believe me."

He raised his free hand, sitting it tenderly over your jaw, just like you did for him, swiping his thumb delicately back and forth across your cheekbone. It was an act you adored so much, something he knew brought you peace and comfort, and at this moment, it was doing just that. You could feel the fear in his words as it echoed in your chest, the desperation as he waited for your response. Lifting the hand from his cheek, his gaze tracked the movement, watching your hand hover for a split second over his head. He didn't let the half-second become a full one. He took your hand, lacing it into his hair where it had been headed, your fingernails scratching over his scalp in the soothing way he loved so much. 

"Always touch me. Never hesitate. I don't care if we're at dinner or on a battlefield, but your touch, your attention, your love is everything. Never stop." His eyes fluttered closed in bliss, but he was still tense. "Just say you forgive me."

"I do not, because there's nothing to forgive." His breath hitched at the beginning of your sentence, eyes snapping open wide, and you leaned forward to rest your forehead on his. "Next time, come up with something that's not going to hurt my feelings, even if I shouldn't be eavesdropping."

He smirked at that, nose brushing yours and he laughed breathily. "Next time, I'm just going to take the teasing and let them know how utterly fucking hard in love I am."

"Well, that works too." You smiled, before he was sitting up more, raising from his one knee and pressing his hands underneath your body. "What are you doing?"

"Moving you so we can sit together."

"I'll just come to the couch-"

"Won't be close enough, now." He muttered, scooping you up enough to settle into the wing-designed chair, and situating you sideways across his lap as your eyes rolled. He left a soft bite to your covered shoulder in response. "Don't roll your eyes at me, you had me freaking out. I thought you weren't going to forgive me. I thought you weren't going to.. to be the you that I love, anymore.."

"Yes, well, that's over now." You leaned in, kissing the tip of his nose for emphasis, but uncertain eyes found yours again.

"You mean it?"

"I do." You pressed another kiss to his jaw, fingernails moving back to rake through the thick black hair on the top of his head.

"You'll greet me at the door tomorrow with a kiss?" Mm-hm. "You'll let me cook with you?" Your lips moved up to his cheek, nuzzling there sweetly as you left little pecks across his skin, mm-hm. "You'll hold my hand at the table, and play footsie, and you'll curl up on the couch with me after?" Mm-hm, your kisses reached the corner of his mouth, and you felt it twitch into a smile underneath your lips. "You'll cuddle with me in bed tonight?"

"And every other night, for the rest of our lives." 

Something akin to adoration raced through your chest, filling every part of you. Despite his pink-tinged cheeks, Azriel was confident in his requests, hazel eyes shining as he looked at you. "And you'll kiss me, you'll hold me, every time you want to. Promise me, you'll never hide your affection from me, promise me you'll show me your love for as long as you feel it for me?"

"As long as you promise the same to me." He nodded, vehemently, sealing the deal with an urgent kiss, and you felt a tingling mark forming on the back of your neck, alongside the mating bond you'd made together so many years ago. Another promise formed, to be held forever. 

His lips worked against your own, fingers slipping from where they sat on your cheek to smooth up, no longer running his fingers gently along your jaw but tracing soft tips over the patch on your neck. His lips became a smile in the kiss, teasing and sweet, a breathy sound slipping from you as he nipped at your lower. 

“We should go upstairs.” He whispered, and your arms looped around his neck, prepared for the movement that was so come as he began to shuffle toward the edge of the seat. Raising with you in his arms, he walked a path he was familiar with, your lips beginning to trace his cheekbone the way his thumb had yours moments prior, when a sudden thought crossed your mind. You gasped, sitting up stock straight and Azriel paused at the base of the stairs, brows raising, half-lidded eyes attempting to focus at your reaction. “What is it, my love?”

“We.. we have to go and tell Nesta and Feyre we worked things out.” Azriel stared for a moment, before a blinding grin was splitting across his face. It was more than a smile, it was amused and cheeky and youthful in a way he rarely showed, only in moments like this where the two of you were truly alone, when he let himself be vulnerable. A deep chuckle followed, before he was moving again, climbing the stairs with you in his arms, smile becoming a smirk. 

“So you’re the reason my brothers are in such trouble, huh?” He leaned down, nipping at the shell of your ear as he backed his way into your bedroom, kicking the door shut behind himself. Dropping you down onto the bed, enough to be able to crawl toward you as you backed up into the pillows, he didn’t let up with the wicked stare. “Let it be, we can tell them tomorrow. Consider tonight a punishment for complaining.”

“Were you not technically part of that conversation, Az? Should you not also be punished?” Your words held no threat, and he knew it too, because he only dipped his head down once he was supporting himself above you. His lips dragged over your skin, up from your chin to the shell of your ear, only to whisper;

“Oh, I think I've been punished enough for tonight. I can come up with some much more fun things for us to do..”

This is so cute and Fluffy, I really needed this to feel better after the long day I had and I wish I had someone like Cassian take care of me.

Beautiful work. Lots of love Saph ❤❤

lavender | cassian

summary; cassian has had a tough day.

word count; 3033

notes; ki wanted cassian fluff and I do whatever it takes to make her happy so here’s something absolutely tooth-rotting. go easy on me I’m not used to writing for cassian and idk how i feel about this.

The second Cassian stepped through the door, you could practically feel the weight of his exhaustion weighing down onto you, heavy enough to press you into the plush carpet of your bedroom. He stood for a second, shoulders slumped, wings dropping, and the moonlight of the outside bounced off of his face, only illuminating the tiredness. Bags under his eyes, a frown that looked like it may never leave, a dullness to his eyes that made him seem centuries older. Even his siphons seemed like they were muted from their usual glow. 

“M’sorry I missed dinner.” He tapped twice at the siphon sitting in the centre of his chest, scales of protective black leather armour crawling back away, hiding within every siphon until only the glowing red remained and his sweaty underclothes clung to his body. “M’sorry I smell.”

He sighed, and you only shook your head, sock-clad feet silent as you paced toward him. He reached a hand behind his shoulders, one at a time pulling off the siphons that rested on each one, the clasps holding the rocks coming loose. Dropping them down onto the side table, he met you halfway, hands falling to your hips as he leaned down to press a swift peck to your lips. He was stiff under your palms as you smoothed your hands up over the tight shirt he wore to train. 

“I had a hard day.”

“I know, baby.” Your hand came down to rub over his chest, the same place within your own that always pulled, giving a gentle tug on that bond now. The edges of his lips barely flicked up, nostrils flaring somewhat as he sighed. He winced, one hand coming up to sit over yours on his chest. 

“I’m sorry that-”

“Stop apologising, Cass. Especially if you’re trying to apologise for the bond. I never, ever regret being tied to you, being yours, you being mine.” You shook your head, leaning up to press a kiss to each of his cheeks as his eyes slid shut, a real smile finally taking over his features, even if it was only a tiny one. “Besides, if I didn’t know how you were feeling, I couldn't know when to make you feel better.”

Taking one hand in your own, you tugged him along, stepping backwards toward the bathroom. As soon as the floral smells of your favourite bubble bath reached your nose, they hit his too, a groaning falling from him as you entered the heat of the room. 

Stopping him beside the tub, he reached one hand behind his head to tug at the material of his shirt, yanking on the neckline, and you chuckled, reaching behind him to unclasp the siphon around his chest, and the buttons under his wings. The second it came free, the shirt was eased up and over his head, barely even catching on the tight bun his hair was pulled into.

He dropped it to the ground, the harness in your hands following, and he unclipped the fastens around his hands. The ones over his knees were next, then his boots kicked off, pants and underwear following, until he was stretching tired in all of his golden-skinned naked glory, and stepping into the tub. 

Sinking into the water, his head rolled back, legs stretching out beneath the piles of bubbles and sweet-scented oils. Stooping down to pick up the scattered clothes and siphons, his arm shot up, head rolling tiredly to the side as he blinked up at you through the candlelight. 

“You’re not getting’ in with me?” 

With armfuls of clothes, you looked down at him, the vulnerability glittering in my eyes, a pang of longing coming down the bond to you. “Yeah, ‘course I am. Let me just go put these clothes away first.” He nodded, swallowing thickly and offering a smile, before letting you go and letting that hand slip back under the bubbly water. You made quick work of the siphons on the counter, the boots by the door and the clothes into the basket, before stripping off your pyjamas and robe, throwing your hair up out of your face into a knot and following the incessant pulling of the bond back to him. 

“You were takin’ too long.” His voice was deep and rumbly, and he tipped his face back toward you where it rested on the edge of the large tub. He let his gaze roam over you, from head to toe as you stared down at him, and he smiled. “If I wasn’t so tired right now, I’d be lovin’ you so good right now.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for tomorrow.” He leaned forwards, letting you settle in behind him, legs spreading on either side of his own, arms draping over his shoulder as he curled his wings out of the way, leaning back into you. Rough, leathery flesh pressed against you, his head falling back to rest on your shoulder, and you leaned to the side, pressing a kiss to his temple. 

“It would be so good.”

“Yeah, baby. It always is.” He only nodded, your hand rubbing bubbles into the coarse hair of his chest idly, and you felt him puff up happily under your palm. 

“You’d be screaming my name by now. Water all over the floor, then I’d take you to bed, do that thing you like with my fingers and my tongue, before getting to the good stuff.” He shuddered a little, wings twitching, and he sank a little further into the water. The water swished around his hips, before he was grunting unhappily. “Not even a twitch. I’m too tired to get hard.”

You could only laugh, mouth buried in his hair as amusement overtook you, feeling his own happiness and humour flood into your chest as your hands tightened around him. Reaching up, he smoothed one calloused hand over your forearm, waiting until the laughter died down. 

“Thanks for.. this.” His muscles were already loosening, his body letting go of the tension he was riddled with and the frown lines on his face were beginning to lessen. With one wet finger, you reached up, tracing over the frown around his mouth, the wrinkles by his eyes, the dips on his forehead. His head twisted, lips puckering as your touch ran over his lip, pressing a soft kiss there. Long lashes fluttered against his cheeks. “Will you.. wash me?”

“Any time, Cass. You know that. I’ve been cleaning you up when you’re bloody and dirty and sweaty for decades now.”

“Well, I never like to assume.” As he spoke, though, he leaned forwards, letting you rub your hands up along his back, massaging the thick muscle surrounding the bases of his wings, and working your way up to his shoulder. “Now, do you want the lavender body wash or the apple and cinnamon one?”

“Which one makes you want to tear my clothes off at the end of the day?” He had a smirk on his lips as he toyed with both bottles, passing the sponge over his shoulder to you, and he laughed in a sudden burst as you dipped it into the water, swatting at the side of his head with it for the comment and sending water droplets flying. “Hey! What was that for?”

“Just pick a soap!” He considered them both, before taking the cork out of the lavender one to you and passing it back to you. Adding a dollop onto the sponge and frothing it up as he re-corked it and put it back. Smoothing it over his shoulder and down the first arm, he lifted it in your hold, letting you clean right down to between his fingers. “For the record,” Your lips brushed his ear, and he stiffened a little, in an entirely different way as your breath brushed his skin, “it’s the smell of you when you’re all sweaty and adrenaline-filled that gets me going. I like it when you come home looking wild.”

He gave a shaky sigh, and you only moved to the other arm, cleaning along his skin. The quiet encased you both, your arms wrapped around him, cleaning over his chest, down to his arms, along strong thighs as far as you could reach until he took the sponge himself and cleaned down the rest of his body. “Now you?”

“I already had a bath.”

His head snapped to you, eyes softening at the smile you gave him, the water cooling around you both and the bubbles were beginning to deflate. “You had another bath with me?”

“And miss a chance to get wet and soapy with all this Illyrian beefcake?” You pinched at his side, and despite the smirk on his lips, there was nothing but love in his eyes. “I’d never pass that up.”

“Well, all this big Illyrian beefcake is utterly in love with you.” Leaning in, he cupped your cheeks, thumbs smoothing over your face as your lips melded together gently. He was intoxicating, even when he wasn’t trying o be. His mouth encased yours, a pouring of love and affection racing through your veins, like a feeling that never quite faded away. “Tell me you love me too.”

“I love you too, Cassian.” He smiled, sagging at the words and pulling away to step back and out of the tub. Water ran down his body, his hand coming out to offer you some help, holding you as you stepped out of the tub before pulling the cork to drain it. Towelling yourself down, he did the same, following you through to the bedroom and snatching up the plaid pyjama pants from their place sitting atop his pillow. “Come sit, let me take care of you.” 

Rubbing the little velvet seat before your dresser, he glanced between the stool and the bed, and back to the stool, all but dragging his feet across the floor to you once his pyjamas were sitting low on his hips. The strands of hair from his bun were falling around his face, and as soon as he was sat down, you reached out, tucking them behind rounded ears delicately. Sifting through the various tubs and jars on the counter, you leaned back against the table, unscrewing the cap on a small one and swiping out a small dollop of cream. 

Rubbing it between your thumbs, you swept each one underneath his eyes, rubbing the cream into the fragile skin tenderly, and his eyes fluttered shut. “What’s this one do?”

“Helps get rid of the dark circles and the wrinkles.”

“You sayin’ I’m getting old?” He chuffed, and you chuckled, all whispers falling quiet as the moment between you passed. 

He reached out, tugging you closer, until you weren’t just standing beside him but sitting straddled across his lap instead, the towel still secured around your body shifting to accommodate his large form. 

You picked up another, a serum that ran glittery droplets over his skin and smelt of summer, followed by a thick moisturiser that took several minutes to fully soak in. Shifting off of him, he let you go, albeit hesitantly, and you slipped around to his back. He already knew what was coming, head tipping forward to stretch out the skin of his neck, hanging there as you took a very particular and large tub. Scooping a handful out, you warmed it between your hands, rubbing slowly until it was loose and pliant. 

Rubbing in slow circles between his wingers, your fingers dug into his skin, soft pants and grunts leaving his lips as you massaged at the skin around his wings and his tight shoulders, skin growing oily and shiny with the treatment. All the way up his neck until you were brushing the tightly pulled hair, the tug on the strands making you frown. Running back down, your fingers moved over the base of his wings, where black leather melted into golden skin, and the nerves in his back twitched happily at the stimulation. 

When there was nothing left on your hands, and his forehead was resting on his crossed forearms on the edge of the desk, you pulled back. Your focus instead moved to his hair, undoing the ribbon holding it all up tightly, and locks of matted, knotty hair tumbled down around his face. He blew a strand away as it tickled his nose. 

You reached for the brush, beginning to untangle it, strand by strand. You tried not to pull, the occasional sigh falling from his lips as your fingers brushed over his scalp each time you sectioned off a new strand. He’d been so still by the end, you were sure he’d fallen asleep. The steady rise and fall of his chest, the way his wings were drooped so low they were half-rested on the carpet, the preternatural stillness of a body usually hopping with movement. 

You reached over, silently grabbing for the hair oil, citrus and mint filling your nostrils once it was uncapped. Pouring some into your palm ad distributing it between your fingers, you began to run it lightly through his hair, rubbing the tips and making sure the frizzy locks had been tamed and smooth once again. 

With a little more oil on your hands, your fingers slipped back into his hair, beginning to press at his scalp rubbing at the roots to ease the ache he no doubt felt. He’d left before you had even woken this morning, and the sun had long since set before he’d made it back to you. He always got headaches from tight buns, and you wanted to do anything you could to soothe that. You knew all the spots after all this time, the places that would make him sigh and shake and turn to jelly underneath you, and you targeted all of them. 

When you were finished, he was like melted chocolate on a summer day before you.

“Cass, baby..” A tentative whisper, and you rubbed his shoulder lightly. He hummed.

“‘M awake, sweetheart. Just very, very relaxed.” 

“Yeah? That was the point. Now we just need to get you all relaxed in bed.” He yawned, nodding his head, and sitting up slowly, no more stiffness and tension in his muscles, only placid relaxation. He stood, head rolling side to side, and he shook out his wings stretching them to full extension once before shuddering them back into a happy fold against his back. “Go get in bed.”

“S’your turn, first,” He reached for your shoulders, heavy hands pushing down toward the stool, warmed from his body as you collapsed down into it. 

“Cass.. you don’t have to. Go get in bed, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I want to look after you. Sit down and let me.” He picked up the brush, tugging at the tie in your hair too, putting it back with his own and scooping up a handful of your hair. It wasn’t the first time he’d brushed your hair, far from it, and so as he started slowly at the tips, brushing each tangle out gently before moving up, you let your eyes slip closed. 

Your eyes stung with tears, the way they always did when he took such good care of you, such an intimate act, and your throat felt tight. Long ago, he’d confessed to you he felt the same, the feeling of your fingers rubbing over his body and scalp often made a well of emotion threaten to burst up and out of him. 

He repeated all of the same motions for you; brushing through your hair until it was not free, rubbing hair oil between his fingers, brushing it through your hair, massaging your scalp until your lips were parted, sucking in shallow breaths, eyes rolling behind closed eyes. He shifted, smoothing eye cream onto your skin, glittery droplets and moisturiser as you smiled, pecking your lips twice as he went. 

“All done.”

“Thanks, Cass.” Standing on shaky and weak legs, your body almost gave out, knees weak as they tried to hold you up. Wrapping your arms around his neck, he chuckled, guiding you back toward the edge of the bed. As you reached it, he tugged at the towel, removing it from your body and tossing it onto the stool the pair of you had vacated. Crawling across the bedding, you shuffled ungracefully into your pyjamas, flopping into the covers as Cassian tugged them out from under your body, and settled in beside you. 

The lights flickered out of their own accord, the house always knowing just what you needed, and he reached for you under the sheets. Tugging you closer, he twisted your body, until your hips were snug to his, back to his chest, one wing resting across your body as he all but smothered you. Just the way you liked it. His fingers wove with your own atop the mattress. 

“Do you want to talk about your day?”

“Not really.” His sigh was nothing short of utter fatigue, dipping to press a kiss between your shoulder and neck. “It wasn’t a bad day, per se, just a long day. Tiring. Everything seemed like it would go on forever. Everything that went wrong, did, and I was just tired of it all. I think I ran out of energy by about ten, and still had the whole rest of the day to go.”

“Oh, Cassian.” He only hummed, and you squeezed his arms tighter, shuffling back impossibly closer to him, and he shrugged limply. His body was heavy and hot against yours, his breathing slowing and shallowing, and you could feel the slip of his hold on the bond as he edged closer and closer to unconsciousness. “We can take the day off tomorrow, just me and you. Stay in bed all day.”

“We can fly out to the flower fields, have a picnic. I’ll nap in your lap, I’ll probably still be tired. I have a meeting with Rhys in the morning, but after that, I’m all yours.” The chuckle you gave was muffled as you kissed his knuckles at your joined hands. 

“You’re always all mine.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

this was so beautiful and wholesome 💜

I purple you 💜

summary: When asked what you wanted to do with your life when you were seven years old, you told your teacher you wanted to be a rocket scientist. More specifically, that you wanted to dance on the moon. Little did you know, years down the line, how far from that your reality would be. Far from dancing among the stars, you find yourself struggling after losing the love of your life to someone else, working two jobs just to get by, and trying to take care of the one good thing that came out of your fractured relationship – your little girl.

What you don’t realize, and often hate to admit, is that everyone needs a little help sometimes. That everyone needs someone to help take care of them sometimes. That it’s not just children that need that help.

So, no, you may not dance among the stars, but maybe with a little help from your new neighbor Hoseok, you can remember what it feels like to dance in the light of the sun.

genre: social media au, angst, fluff, romance

rating: pg13

pairing: hoseok x f!reader

tropes: dance teacher au, neighbors au, single parent (reader) au, slow burn, slow build

warnings (to be updated/modified later): swearing, hurt/comfort, talk of sex (non-explicit), talk of loss, talk of past relationships, struggles with motherhood and being a single parent, talk of bullying, preteen angst, talk of an autoimmune disease/condition (alopecia areata), custody battles, mentally/emotionally abusive exes/fathers, bisexual characters

❗️photos used in this story are not mine❗️

status: complete ✅

permanent tag list (open): @yoongiofmine​ @xianav​ @lilacdreams-00​ @emmmui​ @vantxx95​ @cursedblood707​​ @hqtetsurou​ @geauxlsu79 @lyra0cassiopeia @halesandy​ @lunaoceanchild @annoyingtimemachinee​ @babycoffeefire​ @darlinggod-sweetvillain @yu-justme @rageyoudamnednerd​ @bubblytaetae @aurel1ia @valhallawhispers​ @somelazysundays @cuteipat @borahae-reads​ @dahliasbouqet

smau tag list (open): @bubblytaetae

series tag list (CLOSED): @moon-write @jiminiepurple @cafemyg @squishyoonie​ @sopebubbles-replies @ego-allie-bap @aria-grace-scott @hannahdinse8​ @uno7​ @funkylittlebisexuall @thesleepingmoonfox

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Key

📝 = written chapter

📝📱 = partially written chapter with text conversations/photos

Social media profiles

Y/N, Friends, & Acquaintances

Hobi, Friends, & Acquaintances

Key Places & Aesthetics

Chapters

Introduction 📝

1. Day in the Life

2. Work Work Work 📝

3. Neighbors

4. Apartment 313 📝

5. Olive

6. Yohan

7. Dirty Laundry 📝

8. Agust D

9. A Little Help… 📝📱

10. Blind

11. Pizza Party 📝📱

12. An Unexpected Call

13. Whenever

14. Hope 📝📱

15. Dance Dance

16. Iseul

17. Eomma Night 📝

18. Defense Mechanism

19. Loyalty 📝

20. IT’S HAPPENING

21. #NotADate 📝

22. Truth Hurts

23. Love u a Little 😘

24. Love Language 📝

25. Quality Time

26. Eomma Support

27. Stay 📝

28. All Planned Out

29. Always 📝📱

30. Cozy 🥰

31. Teasing

32. Okay 📝

33.1 News

33.2 Celebration

34. Home 📝📱

The End.