Cassian Fluff - Tumblr Posts

This is so cute and Fluffy, I really needed this to feel better after the long day I had and I wish I had someone like Cassian take care of me.

Beautiful work. Lots of love Saph ❤❤

lavender | cassian

summary; cassian has had a tough day.

word count; 3033

notes; ki wanted cassian fluff and I do whatever it takes to make her happy so here’s something absolutely tooth-rotting. go easy on me I’m not used to writing for cassian and idk how i feel about this.

The second Cassian stepped through the door, you could practically feel the weight of his exhaustion weighing down onto you, heavy enough to press you into the plush carpet of your bedroom. He stood for a second, shoulders slumped, wings dropping, and the moonlight of the outside bounced off of his face, only illuminating the tiredness. Bags under his eyes, a frown that looked like it may never leave, a dullness to his eyes that made him seem centuries older. Even his siphons seemed like they were muted from their usual glow. 

“M’sorry I missed dinner.” He tapped twice at the siphon sitting in the centre of his chest, scales of protective black leather armour crawling back away, hiding within every siphon until only the glowing red remained and his sweaty underclothes clung to his body. “M’sorry I smell.”

He sighed, and you only shook your head, sock-clad feet silent as you paced toward him. He reached a hand behind his shoulders, one at a time pulling off the siphons that rested on each one, the clasps holding the rocks coming loose. Dropping them down onto the side table, he met you halfway, hands falling to your hips as he leaned down to press a swift peck to your lips. He was stiff under your palms as you smoothed your hands up over the tight shirt he wore to train. 

“I had a hard day.”

“I know, baby.” Your hand came down to rub over his chest, the same place within your own that always pulled, giving a gentle tug on that bond now. The edges of his lips barely flicked up, nostrils flaring somewhat as he sighed. He winced, one hand coming up to sit over yours on his chest. 

“I’m sorry that-”

“Stop apologising, Cass. Especially if you’re trying to apologise for the bond. I never, ever regret being tied to you, being yours, you being mine.” You shook your head, leaning up to press a kiss to each of his cheeks as his eyes slid shut, a real smile finally taking over his features, even if it was only a tiny one. “Besides, if I didn’t know how you were feeling, I couldn't know when to make you feel better.”

Taking one hand in your own, you tugged him along, stepping backwards toward the bathroom. As soon as the floral smells of your favourite bubble bath reached your nose, they hit his too, a groaning falling from him as you entered the heat of the room. 

Stopping him beside the tub, he reached one hand behind his head to tug at the material of his shirt, yanking on the neckline, and you chuckled, reaching behind him to unclasp the siphon around his chest, and the buttons under his wings. The second it came free, the shirt was eased up and over his head, barely even catching on the tight bun his hair was pulled into.

He dropped it to the ground, the harness in your hands following, and he unclipped the fastens around his hands. The ones over his knees were next, then his boots kicked off, pants and underwear following, until he was stretching tired in all of his golden-skinned naked glory, and stepping into the tub. 

Sinking into the water, his head rolled back, legs stretching out beneath the piles of bubbles and sweet-scented oils. Stooping down to pick up the scattered clothes and siphons, his arm shot up, head rolling tiredly to the side as he blinked up at you through the candlelight. 

“You’re not getting’ in with me?” 

With armfuls of clothes, you looked down at him, the vulnerability glittering in my eyes, a pang of longing coming down the bond to you. “Yeah, ‘course I am. Let me just go put these clothes away first.” He nodded, swallowing thickly and offering a smile, before letting you go and letting that hand slip back under the bubbly water. You made quick work of the siphons on the counter, the boots by the door and the clothes into the basket, before stripping off your pyjamas and robe, throwing your hair up out of your face into a knot and following the incessant pulling of the bond back to him. 

“You were takin’ too long.” His voice was deep and rumbly, and he tipped his face back toward you where it rested on the edge of the large tub. He let his gaze roam over you, from head to toe as you stared down at him, and he smiled. “If I wasn’t so tired right now, I’d be lovin’ you so good right now.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for tomorrow.” He leaned forwards, letting you settle in behind him, legs spreading on either side of his own, arms draping over his shoulder as he curled his wings out of the way, leaning back into you. Rough, leathery flesh pressed against you, his head falling back to rest on your shoulder, and you leaned to the side, pressing a kiss to his temple. 

“It would be so good.”

“Yeah, baby. It always is.” He only nodded, your hand rubbing bubbles into the coarse hair of his chest idly, and you felt him puff up happily under your palm. 

“You’d be screaming my name by now. Water all over the floor, then I’d take you to bed, do that thing you like with my fingers and my tongue, before getting to the good stuff.” He shuddered a little, wings twitching, and he sank a little further into the water. The water swished around his hips, before he was grunting unhappily. “Not even a twitch. I’m too tired to get hard.”

You could only laugh, mouth buried in his hair as amusement overtook you, feeling his own happiness and humour flood into your chest as your hands tightened around him. Reaching up, he smoothed one calloused hand over your forearm, waiting until the laughter died down. 

“Thanks for.. this.” His muscles were already loosening, his body letting go of the tension he was riddled with and the frown lines on his face were beginning to lessen. With one wet finger, you reached up, tracing over the frown around his mouth, the wrinkles by his eyes, the dips on his forehead. His head twisted, lips puckering as your touch ran over his lip, pressing a soft kiss there. Long lashes fluttered against his cheeks. “Will you.. wash me?”

“Any time, Cass. You know that. I’ve been cleaning you up when you’re bloody and dirty and sweaty for decades now.”

“Well, I never like to assume.” As he spoke, though, he leaned forwards, letting you rub your hands up along his back, massaging the thick muscle surrounding the bases of his wings, and working your way up to his shoulder. “Now, do you want the lavender body wash or the apple and cinnamon one?”

“Which one makes you want to tear my clothes off at the end of the day?” He had a smirk on his lips as he toyed with both bottles, passing the sponge over his shoulder to you, and he laughed in a sudden burst as you dipped it into the water, swatting at the side of his head with it for the comment and sending water droplets flying. “Hey! What was that for?”

“Just pick a soap!” He considered them both, before taking the cork out of the lavender one to you and passing it back to you. Adding a dollop onto the sponge and frothing it up as he re-corked it and put it back. Smoothing it over his shoulder and down the first arm, he lifted it in your hold, letting you clean right down to between his fingers. “For the record,” Your lips brushed his ear, and he stiffened a little, in an entirely different way as your breath brushed his skin, “it’s the smell of you when you’re all sweaty and adrenaline-filled that gets me going. I like it when you come home looking wild.”

He gave a shaky sigh, and you only moved to the other arm, cleaning along his skin. The quiet encased you both, your arms wrapped around him, cleaning over his chest, down to his arms, along strong thighs as far as you could reach until he took the sponge himself and cleaned down the rest of his body. “Now you?”

“I already had a bath.”

His head snapped to you, eyes softening at the smile you gave him, the water cooling around you both and the bubbles were beginning to deflate. “You had another bath with me?”

“And miss a chance to get wet and soapy with all this Illyrian beefcake?” You pinched at his side, and despite the smirk on his lips, there was nothing but love in his eyes. “I’d never pass that up.”

“Well, all this big Illyrian beefcake is utterly in love with you.” Leaning in, he cupped your cheeks, thumbs smoothing over your face as your lips melded together gently. He was intoxicating, even when he wasn’t trying o be. His mouth encased yours, a pouring of love and affection racing through your veins, like a feeling that never quite faded away. “Tell me you love me too.”

“I love you too, Cassian.” He smiled, sagging at the words and pulling away to step back and out of the tub. Water ran down his body, his hand coming out to offer you some help, holding you as you stepped out of the tub before pulling the cork to drain it. Towelling yourself down, he did the same, following you through to the bedroom and snatching up the plaid pyjama pants from their place sitting atop his pillow. “Come sit, let me take care of you.” 

Rubbing the little velvet seat before your dresser, he glanced between the stool and the bed, and back to the stool, all but dragging his feet across the floor to you once his pyjamas were sitting low on his hips. The strands of hair from his bun were falling around his face, and as soon as he was sat down, you reached out, tucking them behind rounded ears delicately. Sifting through the various tubs and jars on the counter, you leaned back against the table, unscrewing the cap on a small one and swiping out a small dollop of cream. 

Rubbing it between your thumbs, you swept each one underneath his eyes, rubbing the cream into the fragile skin tenderly, and his eyes fluttered shut. “What’s this one do?”

“Helps get rid of the dark circles and the wrinkles.”

“You sayin’ I’m getting old?” He chuffed, and you chuckled, all whispers falling quiet as the moment between you passed. 

He reached out, tugging you closer, until you weren’t just standing beside him but sitting straddled across his lap instead, the towel still secured around your body shifting to accommodate his large form. 

You picked up another, a serum that ran glittery droplets over his skin and smelt of summer, followed by a thick moisturiser that took several minutes to fully soak in. Shifting off of him, he let you go, albeit hesitantly, and you slipped around to his back. He already knew what was coming, head tipping forward to stretch out the skin of his neck, hanging there as you took a very particular and large tub. Scooping a handful out, you warmed it between your hands, rubbing slowly until it was loose and pliant. 

Rubbing in slow circles between his wingers, your fingers dug into his skin, soft pants and grunts leaving his lips as you massaged at the skin around his wings and his tight shoulders, skin growing oily and shiny with the treatment. All the way up his neck until you were brushing the tightly pulled hair, the tug on the strands making you frown. Running back down, your fingers moved over the base of his wings, where black leather melted into golden skin, and the nerves in his back twitched happily at the stimulation. 

When there was nothing left on your hands, and his forehead was resting on his crossed forearms on the edge of the desk, you pulled back. Your focus instead moved to his hair, undoing the ribbon holding it all up tightly, and locks of matted, knotty hair tumbled down around his face. He blew a strand away as it tickled his nose. 

You reached for the brush, beginning to untangle it, strand by strand. You tried not to pull, the occasional sigh falling from his lips as your fingers brushed over his scalp each time you sectioned off a new strand. He’d been so still by the end, you were sure he’d fallen asleep. The steady rise and fall of his chest, the way his wings were drooped so low they were half-rested on the carpet, the preternatural stillness of a body usually hopping with movement. 

You reached over, silently grabbing for the hair oil, citrus and mint filling your nostrils once it was uncapped. Pouring some into your palm ad distributing it between your fingers, you began to run it lightly through his hair, rubbing the tips and making sure the frizzy locks had been tamed and smooth once again. 

With a little more oil on your hands, your fingers slipped back into his hair, beginning to press at his scalp rubbing at the roots to ease the ache he no doubt felt. He’d left before you had even woken this morning, and the sun had long since set before he’d made it back to you. He always got headaches from tight buns, and you wanted to do anything you could to soothe that. You knew all the spots after all this time, the places that would make him sigh and shake and turn to jelly underneath you, and you targeted all of them. 

When you were finished, he was like melted chocolate on a summer day before you.

“Cass, baby..” A tentative whisper, and you rubbed his shoulder lightly. He hummed.

“‘M awake, sweetheart. Just very, very relaxed.” 

“Yeah? That was the point. Now we just need to get you all relaxed in bed.” He yawned, nodding his head, and sitting up slowly, no more stiffness and tension in his muscles, only placid relaxation. He stood, head rolling side to side, and he shook out his wings stretching them to full extension once before shuddering them back into a happy fold against his back. “Go get in bed.”

“S’your turn, first,” He reached for your shoulders, heavy hands pushing down toward the stool, warmed from his body as you collapsed down into it. 

“Cass.. you don’t have to. Go get in bed, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I want to look after you. Sit down and let me.” He picked up the brush, tugging at the tie in your hair too, putting it back with his own and scooping up a handful of your hair. It wasn’t the first time he’d brushed your hair, far from it, and so as he started slowly at the tips, brushing each tangle out gently before moving up, you let your eyes slip closed. 

Your eyes stung with tears, the way they always did when he took such good care of you, such an intimate act, and your throat felt tight. Long ago, he’d confessed to you he felt the same, the feeling of your fingers rubbing over his body and scalp often made a well of emotion threaten to burst up and out of him. 

He repeated all of the same motions for you; brushing through your hair until it was not free, rubbing hair oil between his fingers, brushing it through your hair, massaging your scalp until your lips were parted, sucking in shallow breaths, eyes rolling behind closed eyes. He shifted, smoothing eye cream onto your skin, glittery droplets and moisturiser as you smiled, pecking your lips twice as he went. 

“All done.”

“Thanks, Cass.” Standing on shaky and weak legs, your body almost gave out, knees weak as they tried to hold you up. Wrapping your arms around his neck, he chuckled, guiding you back toward the edge of the bed. As you reached it, he tugged at the towel, removing it from your body and tossing it onto the stool the pair of you had vacated. Crawling across the bedding, you shuffled ungracefully into your pyjamas, flopping into the covers as Cassian tugged them out from under your body, and settled in beside you. 

The lights flickered out of their own accord, the house always knowing just what you needed, and he reached for you under the sheets. Tugging you closer, he twisted your body, until your hips were snug to his, back to his chest, one wing resting across your body as he all but smothered you. Just the way you liked it. His fingers wove with your own atop the mattress. 

“Do you want to talk about your day?”

“Not really.” His sigh was nothing short of utter fatigue, dipping to press a kiss between your shoulder and neck. “It wasn’t a bad day, per se, just a long day. Tiring. Everything seemed like it would go on forever. Everything that went wrong, did, and I was just tired of it all. I think I ran out of energy by about ten, and still had the whole rest of the day to go.”

“Oh, Cassian.” He only hummed, and you squeezed his arms tighter, shuffling back impossibly closer to him, and he shrugged limply. His body was heavy and hot against yours, his breathing slowing and shallowing, and you could feel the slip of his hold on the bond as he edged closer and closer to unconsciousness. “We can take the day off tomorrow, just me and you. Stay in bed all day.”

“We can fly out to the flower fields, have a picnic. I’ll nap in your lap, I’ll probably still be tired. I have a meeting with Rhys in the morning, but after that, I’m all yours.” The chuckle you gave was muffled as you kissed his knuckles at your joined hands. 

“You’re always all mine.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

This is so cute and endearing. Thank for feeding my love for cassian.

Prescription cuddles

Cassian x reader

Summary: Cassian is sick and his mate takes care of him

Warnings: none

A/n: it’s 4 am but I had the brilliant idea to drink coffee at 12 am so this is the product of my stupidity. I hope you enjoy :)

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Cassian on a regular day was affectionate, wanting to be near you as much as possible with random kisses placed here and there: your shoulder, collarbone, cheek, nose, forehead, jaw, literally any place he could reach. And you loved that. You loved that you had a sensitive and affectionate mate who wasn’t afraid of showing his emotions. You loved that at any time of day when you wanted comfort or human contact, your mate was there to provide it.

Sick Cassian, however, was on a whole other level. Affectionate like normal Cassian, only ten times as clingy. You barely got to get up from bed while he was sick and you had to admit, you loved every second of it. 

Currently, the 6’7 Illyrian lay in your shared bed, cuddled up in blankets with his head in your lap and coughing like his life depended on it. You stroked his hair in gentle motion, attempting to soothe the headache he no doubt had due to the coughing, the clogged sinuses, and staying up all night due to the coughing and clogged sinuses.

Cassian groaned, attempting to take a breath through his nose and failing. “I hate being sick,” he said in a congested voice.

You couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

“I’m glad my misery is making you laugh,” he glared up at you.

“I’m not laughing at your misery!” You objected. “Okay, maybe I am,” you smiled. “But you’re just so adorable when you’re whiny and clingy like that. I can’t help it.”

Groaning, Cassian turned on his side, face buried in your stomach. You continued stroking his hair, burying your hand in it, and targeting all the spots on his scalp that made him putty in your hands.

He hummed in contentment, finally getting relief from the headache that had been ruining his morning. That was until another coughing fit took over.

Cassian sat up, hand cupping his mouth as he coughed violently. You grimaced, reaching out to rub his back. Cassian slumped back into you once he was done, back against the headboard and head resting on your shoulder.

“Would you like some soup, my love?” You asked, kissing his warm temple.

Furrowing your brows, you brought up the back of your hand to his forehead. The fever was back. You made a mental note to fetch some medicine along with the soup.

“Yes please,” he sniffled.

Turning on his side again to get comfortable, Cassian's arm went around your waist, pinning you to the bed.

“I need to get up to bring you soup, you know?” You laughed.

“But I wanna cuddle,” Cassian pouted.

“Soup is more important right now, Cassie. It’ll help you get better.” You attempted to pry his arm off but even sick, Cassian was stronger.

“Cuddling my mate will also help me get better,” he objected.

"Really? Says who?" you asked with a teasing smile.

"Madja," Cassian said. "Yes, she said it is imperative for a male to get cuddles from his mate when he's sick otherwise he may never get better! Do you want me to never get better, Y/n?" Cassian gave you his puppy eye look that makes you melt in a second.

You laughed endearingly at your mate's antics before sighing. “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes. Then we can cuddle as much as you want,” you smiled at him.

“Promise?” Cassian asked.

“Yes,” you playfully rolled your eyes. Cassian beamed, releasing his hold on you, and sprung you to your feet to get your mate some soup and some much-needed medicine.

Putting some chicken noodle soup on the stove to quickly heat up, you searched the cabinets for the medicines. After getting all you needed, you poured the steaming into a bowl and hurried back.

Cassian was sitting up, glaring at you as you entered the room.

“You said it would take a couple of minutes. You’ve been gone for 15!” He huffed.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his silly objections and how adorable he looked with the pout. You set the bowl of soup and medicine on the side table and leaned on the bed to kiss Cassian’s cheek.

“I’m sorry, angel,” you kissed his cheek again.

“You’re forgiven,” he grinned, immediately pulling you to him.

Once you were settled in with Cassian’s arms around your waist and head on your chest, you picked up the bowl of steaming soup and started feeding it to your mate.

Cassian hummed at the soothing burn from the soup and he drank the rest of it in no time. Afterward, you gave him his medicine and rubbed his back while waiting for the effect of the medicines to take over.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Cassian mumbled against your chest sleepily, kissing your shoulder in gratitude.

You kissed his crown in response.

This is so fluffy and cute 😍. Cassian is an absolute baby and we must protect him.

❤❤❤

Early morning shenanigans

Cassian x reader

Summary: you and Cassian in the morning

Warnings: my attempt at tooth rotting fluff?

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Maybe it was the love shooting down to you through the bond or the feeling of someone looking at you, but you slowly opened your eyes to the sun leaking through the window and directly in your face. You groaned at the sunlight, squinting in an effort to block it out, and turned away from the window. You were met with the hard chest of the general of the Night Court, whose stare you could still feel on your face. Peering up at him, you found Cassian staring at you with a lovesick smile on his face as he brought his wing up to shield you from the sun. You hummed in comfort at the shade, sending your gratitude down the bond and closing your eyes once again.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Cassian greeted.

“How long have you been staring at me?” you asked in a husky morning voice. Your eyes remained closed but you knew Cassian was grinning at you.  

“Since I woke up,” he replied, leaning in closer to kiss your forehead.  

Your brows furrowed with a smile of amusement tugging at your lips. “Which was when?” you inquired, now opening your eyes to peer up at him.

Cassian hummed in thought. “Don’t remember,” he shrugged. “I was too lost in thought looking at my beautiful mate.”

You blushed, playfully rolling your eyes and pushing Cassian away from you. “You’re so cheesy.” He only laughed in response.

You rolled onto your back, stretching and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

“What time is it?” you asked.

A mischievous smile took over Cassian’s face and you gave him a look that said ‘Don’t do what you’re about to do.’

Cassian wrapped a muscled arm around your waist, pulling you close until there was no space between the two of you. You yelped, handing flying up his chest, and you looked annoyed at him.

“It’s time for kisses!” Cassian announced before leaning in to attack your face.

You shrieked loudly, laughing at the ticklish sensation caused by his lips. Just as Cassian was about to kiss your lips, you put a hand over his mouth. Cassian huffed in annoyance, giving you a questioning look.

“Not until I’ve brushed my teeth,” you declared and removed your hand.

“But baby, I don’t care if you have morning breath,” Cassian whined.

“I do,” you retaliated and moved to remove the covers off you so you could get out of bed.

Cassian put a firm arm over your waist, stopping your movements. You looked up at him sheepishly and he gave you a devilish smirk. “Where do you think you’re going, princess?”

“To the bathroom,” you replied simply, an innocent smile on your lips.  

“Oh no, you aren’t. Not until I get my morning kisses,” he announced and moved to kiss you again, this time holding your arms firmly so you couldn’t stop him. You turned your face away at the last second, laughing, making the general whine, which made you laugh harder.

“Y/n, stop laughing,” Cassian protested and you finally turned to face him with a bright smile that made his eyes light up. The look he gave you made the playful grin shrink to a flustered smile, and Cassian smirked at the effect he had on you.

You wiggled your arms free from his grip to reach up and cup his beautiful face in your hands. You lifted your head off the pillow to kiss Cassian’s nose which made his face scrunch up adorably, making you giggle.

Cassian kissed your forehead in return, then both of your cheeks, then your nose. Finally, he bent down to peck your lips but you freed yourself from under him before he could, quickly running into the bathroom while laughing devilishly.

“Hey, no fair!” Cassian huffed in protest.

 A few minutes later, you came out of the bathroom, your hair in a beat bun, face washed and teeth brushed. Cassian was sitting on the bed, arms crossed with an adorable pout on his face that made you crack up and wanna kiss him all over simultaneously.

When you approached the bed, Cassian pointedly turned away from you, huffing loudly. You had to hold in your laugh from escaping.

You sat on your knees behind Cassian, mindful of his wings, and wrapped your arms around his neck, leaning to kiss his cheek.

When Cassian turned his head away from you, you gently stroked his wing and he shuddered, leaning slightly back into you. You kissed his temple this time, hand traveling to the other side of his face to caress his cheek.

The general hummed, turning his face towards you and capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. You reciprocated, hands running over his shoulders and into his hair, as he turned his whole body towards you, arms winding around your waist and pulling you onto his lap.

“Good morning, general,” you smiled and nudged your nose against his.

“Good morning,” he replied, stealing a few more kisses before you had to get out of bed.

Tags:

@blurredlamplight @saphiraprince22 @kristeristerin

Cassian X Fem Reader

Summary: Cassian a loyal friend. One who knows what each one of his family member needs and does his best to provide them with the care they deserve. Being someone's light at the end of their tunnel comes with a price. Sometimes Cassian needs someone to shower him with the love and care he so freely gives to others.

Content Warnings: Poor Mental Health, and not taking care of of one's self properly

Sara's Notes: Hey before you dive in, I need to give credit to @riddlesb1tch for this idea. I ready This fic and it really inspired me so I beg you to read this first!

Tag List Request ACOTAR Masterlist

Dividers by @tsunami-of-tears

Cassian landed on his balcony in the house of wind with a thud, he barely had enough energy to fly to his room. He knew he wouldn’t be able to provide the joy or give his friends the attention they deserved. His body felt weighed down by bricks, each step toward his bed more difficult than the last. He didn’t bother taking off his leathers as he collapsed to his bed.

The general’s thoughts were swarming in rapid speed, and he knew that it would prevent him from sleeping. Guilt slammed into him as though he a wall collapsed on him. Closing his eyes he tried to focus on his breathing as the correlating panic began to build. Cassian bit his lip trying to keep it from wobbling as tears began to pool behind his eyelids. The heavy feeling in his chest not easing, his usual breathing techniques failing him.

The Lord of Bloodshed knew his friends were struggling and relied on him for guidance, a punching bag, a comforting hug. Yet here he was battling an internal war that he was losing. A battle no one close to him knew he was fighting and have been since the war.

Yet guilt was consuming him and he let out a pained whimper. As though his wings were once again shredded.

Cassian was barely able to conjure enough energy to illuminate his siphons let alone be there when his family needed him.

Bustard.

Brute.

Pathetic.

 These feelings would pass, they always did, but first he would rest his eyes and try to not let the weight of world crush him. Try not to let the guilt of letting his family down, of letting you down consume him. And it was the look of disappointment on your features that flashed into his mind before the darkness consumed him whole and his body gave in.

You finished off doing your stretches with Azriel in the training ring looking at the entryway from the house. You were bursting with excitement, as you had just got home from a long mission and missed the routine that came with training, but you had simply missed Cassian. His smile, his warm embrace, the way his hair would tickle your nose when held you tightly in his arms, His presence alone calmed you down on days when your anxiety would spike. A pinky wrapped around your own, a hand on your shoulder, or a wing tucking you closer toward the Illyrian warrior, his touch became one you were dependent on and growing to yearn for.

An hour went by, you refused to move an inch not wanting to start without Cassian, not wanting to miss an opportunity to show him you’d been practicing while you were away. Not wanting to miss the look of pride on his face when he learned you finally mastered the maneuver that had been taking you months to.

Another hour went by.

And another.

It was at the fourth hour that Azriel kissed the crown of your head, “I have to go.” He whispered, but his words fell on deaf ears as you remained planted in the center of the sparring ring; your eyes never leaving the door hoping red illumination would brighten the dark, cold corridor.   “Sweetheart, he is in his room. Go” You turned to see a shadow swirling near his ear, Azriel’s eyes holding a slight worry in them. He splayed a palm on your back and lightly pushed you, urging you to go inside.

You wrapped your arms around the shadowsinger before he could began pushing you to the doorway, “Safe travels, Az.”  You pulled away and bolted into the enchanted house that you, Azriel and Cassian called home. The hall became a blur of blacks and grays until you reached the familiar door of the General’s room. You lightly knocked, “Cassian,” you called out slightly out of breath by your endeavor silence met you after you called out to him. You knocked once more, “Hey, I missed you at training this morning.” You had missed him, his smile, his warm hazel eyes, his beautiful silky hair. Being away from him for so long left an ache in your chest. “Cassie?”

Worry etched your eyebrow; you opened the door just enough to peek inside. Cassian’s back was facing you, wings tucked in. His curtains were drawn tightly ensuring no sun came into his room. His shoulders were rising and falling in slow steady beats, all indication that he was asleep. “I’ll check in on you later then, sleepy boy,” you whispered. Shutting the door you began walking away, concern weighing down on you with every step away from the Lord of Bloodshed’s door. Approaching the stairs you paused, looking back at the shut door. Your heart aching for the male on lying on the other side.

Cassian listened for the door to latch before he allowed the tears to cascade down his cheeks. Guilt overrides his senses and for a brief moment he wasn’t thinking about those heavy burdens he shouldered. His only thought was that in the haze of his grief and self-loathing he failed the one person he cared for most:

You.

The General knew you were coming home, and he had tried to swallow the heaviness of his feelings for you, but his bones felt as though they were weighted down. The guilt of missing your training had caused him to groan in pain and suddenly he wasn’t reaching to get out of his bed. No, his mind took him to the last time he crawled to you.

Cassian had heard your scream from the sky, only to find you clutching your side as you collapsed to the floor, not before you sunk your blade into the chest of your attacker, the strike hitting true to the target. Distracted by your injury, Cassian had left himself open for an attack and several ash arrows pierce the leather of his wings. The male howled in pain as he tumbled to the ground as Hybern’s armies pushed the line.

Colliding with the solid ground he heard the snapping of his bone, and he winced in pain. Blinking away the blood from his eyes, he lifted his head, and his blood ran cold. You were curled in a fetal position, your leathers torn and sweat coated hair struck to the side of your face, not noticing the Hybern soldier preparing his sword behind you. With a lift of his hand he summoned his power, what little he had left to spare and blast the soldier away from you. You were quick to cover your ears with a whimper escaping your lips.

The General began to crawl with his one functioning arm, gritting his teeth as he did so. The strain on his body, sweat and blood swirling together and dripping along side his face. The battle around him since forgotten he had one goal in mind and that was reach you.

“Sweetheart,” Cassian called out as he reaches out his hand, “Come to me.”

“It hurts Cassian, my whole body feels like it’s on fire. Make it stop. Please. Make it stop.”

 Cassian placed a pillow over his face as the sounds of your pleas rang in his head:

Please

Please

Please

Cassian let out a sob, and another one until his cries drowned out the strained voice of your own from all those years ago. Before he could stop them, his mind began to spiral into all his failings.

Azriel; never getting the protection he deserved as a child.

Rhysand sacrificing fifty years of his life in order to keep him and Velaris safe.

Feyre being forced to return to the spring.

Nesta and Elain being made.

Azriel’s wings getting shredded.

You getting injured on the battlefield.

The pained expression of yours when he left that night after Nesta on solstice, as you held out a gift out with his name on it.

Cassian hated himself for making you feel like you were less than. What you didn’t know was that when you ran out to get his gift Nesta had made a cruel comment about your character right as she collected her money for rent and made her way to her seedy apartment. Cassian’s anger and protectiveness of you won out from his rationality to let the eldest Archeron walk away. The cost was seeing the hurt on your face that you tried so desperately to hide from him had broken something in him. You suddenly became quiet; you were biting your lip so that it wouldn’t betray your real emotions.

Not being able to handle another moment of your behavior; the Lord of Bloodshed had scooped you in his arms and pressed your face into his shoulder. In mere minutes, he felt your shoulders shake and the sound that followed had been branded on Cassian’s soul. The blood curdling cry finally releasing the months of pent-up emotions from the war and everything that predated it was released. The rest of the Inner Circle were quick to leave the duo to their privacy as Cassian soothingly rubbed your back, whispering sweet words to calm you down.

The two of you had never talked about that night but by the next day you were bantering with him as though nothing happened, but he could see the distance in your eyes. As a result, he pushed you harder in training until you had let out all the fears and doubts that had crept into your mind after years of keeping quiet about it.

Cassian had felt guilty and still did about not being able to see how you were hurting and withdrawing from the others. He had failed you in so many ways. He couldn’t even pull a recent memory of when you smiled at him last and in its place the pained expression on the battlefield urged Cassian out of bed to try to find you. The General’s limbs still weighed him down and he only managed a few steps before his legs failed him and he collapsed to his knees. He didn’t have the energy to cry out in pain. Instead, he collapsed onto the cool carpet and resigned to lay there until the weight of his chest lifted or caused his heart to stop beating all together.

He simply wasn’t aware that there was a shimmering gold connection blown opened wide, and his emotions were flooding to the one person he didn’t want to see like this.

You.

You sat in the dining hall and pushed around your food once again keeping your eyes glued to the door where the hall was illuminated by dimmed fae lights. You waited for Cassian to come join you for dinner figuring he would be awake by then. You pressed your lips in a tight line opting to drop your fork on your plate and smooth out the skirt of the new red gown you had bought. The gown was the finest silk with a corset bodice that had mesh revealing your bare skin. You wanted to look nice for the occasion of finally being able to See Cassian.

He never appeared; you had waited until the candles had burned down to nubs before you rose. “Bring me a plate, please.” You called out and the house provided a plate of all of Cassian’s favorites along with a goblet of wine. “Thank you.” Straightening your spine you rose from your seat; grabbing the plate and the wine and set off toward Cassian’s room.

Something was wrong. You felt it in the tightness in your chest as you grew near his room.  You were halfway down the hall when you felt it.

Anguish.

Self-Loathing.

Guilt.

You gritted your teeth to ground yourself from the waves of emotion bombarding you but it’s what came after that caused you to drop the plate and goblet in your hands, not caring that the contents have splashed up onto your skirts. The feeling causing tears to prickle in the back of your eyes.

Numbness

“Cassian!” You screamed, as you bolted toward his room. You reached his room, not caring that you slammed his door almost pulling it from its hinges. The sight before you elicited a sob to escape your throat. “Cassian.” You whimper.

The male you admired more than anything in this world was lying on the ground; his eyes puffy and glossed over his cheeks, having fresh tears streaming down. You slowly approach the male, and with a furrowed brow and tears falling of your own, you lay on the floor beside him. His arm instinctively gripped your waist. Your tender fingers find his face, and his dulled hazel eyes look into yours. “Cassie, what’s going on?”

“I’m Fine.” His voice was hoarse as if he spent most of the day crying.

“You’re not.” You countered.

“I will be.”

Your thumb stroked the stray tears from his face, and you shake your head. “No, Baby.” You sighed, pressing your forehead against his, and he gripped your waist tighter. “What happened?”

Cassian could feel the emotions stirring again and as if his darkness called to you, you responded with light and the feelings of love, and being cared for flooded him combating the dark feelings he was close to fully submitting to. “It’s too much. I feel like I’m drowning.” He whispered, his thumb stroking your waist and feeling the mesh material, solidifying you were here.

You had come for him.

You pulled your head away from his and rose to your feet. “On your feet, General.” Cassian sits up as you hold out your hand for him to take. His calloused fingers wrap around yours and you help pull him up to his feet quickly placing his arm over your shoulder your arm slid around his waist. Cassian took in your scent of berries and a hint of vanilla, and the weight lifted slightly from his chest.

“I can take care of myself.” Cassian grumbles as he hears the house start the water for a bath for him.

“I know you can.” Your tone soft, tears were still running down your face. “Your hurting, and its clear you need someone to take care of you.” You looked up at him and your thumb rubs lazy circles on the top of his hand. “Cassian, you always take such great care of me.” You gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Allow me to take care of you. Please.”

Cassian took a moment to study your face, sadness was there but not an ounce of pity in your features. You looked determined to help whether he agreed or not. “Okay.”

You grinned at him and sharply took a breath, relieved that that he could do so without the dark wall crushing his lungs. You were the light that he needed; your touch mended wounds not visible to the naked eye but have been festering inside Cassian for centuries. And then you led him to the bathroom and helped him remove his leathers. Cassian simply knew one thing.

You were his salvation.

The warmth of the bath loosened the tense muscles of the Illyrian warrior. He hummed as the warm water caressed his wings. Cassian’s eyes slid to where you were gathering supplies, noticing the new dress you were wearing and how it hugged your figure beautifully. His eyes drifted down, and guilt bubbled up as he saw the stains on the bottom. “Where did the stains on your dress came from?” Cassian cleared his throat as it was still dry, and you moved closer with a glass of water in your hands and various soaps.

“Don’t worry about it.” You muttered kneeling down beside him and reaching toward him gently placing the glass to his lips and he greedily took large swigs, the cold water easing the soreness of his throat. You smiled at him as you placed the glass down.

Reaching for some soap Cassian gripped your wrist, “Did you ruin your new dress because of me?” Your eyes widened, his voice wavered, you had never seen this side of Cassian before.

You sighed. Standing up you begin to undo the corset. Cassian tilted his head in confusion until you let the bodice fall and the skirts pulled at your feet and Cassian couldn’t help but stare at your ethereal form. You picked up your dress and walked out of the room. Moments go by before Cassian hears the roar of the fire crackling and you have returned with one of his shirts on your body. “There. Nothing to worry about now.” You smiled as you took your spot kneeling beside him.

“Sweetheart-

“Hush, Cassian.” He shut his mouth, “You will always be more important to me than a silly dress.” You gently tilt his head back and wet his hair. He watched you work as you lathered the shampoo in your hands and began massaging his scalp. He groaned and you smiled as you could feel the weight of what he’s been holding onto begins to melt away. Feeling brave you asked, “Do these episodes happen often?” You rinse out his hair meeting his eyes.

“They have been more frequent as of late. This was the first time; I couldn’t manage it.” Cassian murmured. As you warmed the soap you would use to wash his body. He continued as you began to rub the rag down his back, “It started small, things I could handle, a fleeting insecurity here. An insult that lingered over there. Lately though.” He sighed. As you began to delicately wash his wings, something you had done countless times before. “It feels like the thoughts build and stack on each other until one day the comes in a colossal wave and I get swept up in the current.”

You paused and angled yourself so you could meet his eyes. “Cassian, does this happen when everyone is coming to you for their problems?” Cassian averted your gaze but your delicate hand against his chin had him looking back at you. “Be honest.”

The General nodded his head. He watched as You schooled your features into one of neutrality, but Cassian knew better.

You were blaming yourself.

“Stop it.” He quipped.

“Stop what?” You throw back as you finish washing his body.

“Stop blaming yourself.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.” You handed him a towel as you crossed your arms. Wrapping the towel around his waist he approached you and you had to crane your neck to look at him. “Sweetheart, I’m okay.”

“You’re not.” You whispered, “Cassian, I Felt what you were feeling. It felt as though someone was ripping my heart out.” You gripped his hand on your own and placed a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “I’m sorry I should have seen the signs. I failed you.”

Cassian’s eyes widened at her words. “You almost died under my command.” He whispered. Your head whipped up at his confession.

“No, baby.” You shook your head, “What happened at Hybern was my mistake, but something tells me that no matter how hard I try to convince you. You won’t be convinced. We can talk about it. Tomorrow. Tonight is simply about taking care of you.” You led him into the bedroom and Cassian squeezed your hand looking for comfort.

And his lips tilt upward when he felt a light squeeze in return.

Cassian was in heaven. He had you straddling his lap watching the flames erupt as you brushed his long dark hair. His calloused hands skimmed your thighs his thumb tracing circles idly on your bare skin. Placing your hands on his shoulders you smiled, “Can I braid your hair?”

Cassian rolled his eyes, “No.”

His honey glazed eyes slowly returning from the dull pits they were, stared at you as you pouted. Rolling his eyes for a second time, “Fine.” Your face brightening caused him to smile, and you paused as you slid off his lap. “What?”

“You smiled for the first time today?” You whispered, “I was worried I was getting annoying.”

“Rhys is annoying. Mor is annoying. Your company, my dear,” He took a steadying breath grabbing your hand. “Brings me out of the darkest corners of my mind.” He began kissing the inside of your palm, “My light.” He kissed your thumb, and you could barely get air in your passageways, “My star.” He kept kissing fingers until his eyes locked on yours. “My mate.” He kissed your pulse point on your wrist. Before releasing you, fighting every urge to kiss you. “How long did you know?”

“The war.” You shift on your feet. “I should have told you-

Cassian gripped your waist, and you sat back on his lap, the idea of braiding his hair long gone. His mouth seals over yours for a gentle chaste kiss. “I knew too.” The words warm the gold bond that is shining brighter since you arrived. “This wasn’t how I wanted to have this conversation.”

You ran your fingers through his hair. “Cass, I don’t want to have this conversation tonight. We have to talk about other things.”

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I know, Let’s talk about it tomorrow. All of it.” He cups your cheek, and you lean into his palm. “Right now, I would like to sleep.”

Your eyes locked onto his. “Tomorrow?” You question.

He gives a curt nod. “Tomorrow.”

You smile, “Let’s go to bed.”

Cassian held you in his arms as you slept nuzzled against his bare chest. His wings provide you with extra warmth. He smiled as the female of his dreams was his, and with her near, the loud dark voices faded away as new ones took its place.

Loved.

Worthy.

Brave.

Mated.

A loving friend.

A kind soul.

Words you had used to describe him before you fell asleep and in tandem with you sending love down the bond Cassian believed he could be those things. That he was worth asking for help as much as he was willing to provide it. He kissed the top of your head, and you tucked your head deeper in his chest. “I love you, sweetheart.”

You didn’t stir or mumble anything in return, but he could feel your love through the bond and his eyes watered at the overwhelming joy.

He was worthy of having a mate.

Worthy of having someone to go on adventures with.

Worthy to have someone pull him from the depths of his despair as he had done countless times for others.

Worthy of Laughing.

Worthy of joy.

Worthy of you.

Cassian, General of the Night Court’s Armies, The Lord of Bloodshed was Worthy

~Fin

Story Tags: @milswrites @lady-of-tearshed @thelov3lybookworm @berryzxx @pit-and-the-pen

@lilah-asteria @kylaisra @nickishadow139 @aelincaddel @demirunner

@tsunami-of-tears @readychilledwine @enchantingcupcakecollectionfan @writeroutoftime

@writingcroissant

If I forgot to tag you i'm sorry! Please give me a gentle reminder or comment on my Tag List Request linked above.

Cooking with love - A Cassian X reader story

You heard the door open but didn't look away from the pile of papers scattered on the dining room table. You had recently come back from visiting your family in the Summer Court when Rhysand requested your presence at his townhouse. He needed a house to be built. A gift for Feyre. A home that would house his mate and his newborn son Nyx. Hopefully, become a home to any other children they may decide to have together. Those words went unspoken but the both of us heard it loud and clear. That was why you were hunched over the dining table that was pushed up against the window, trying to make Rhysand's dreams into reality.

"An architects dream is an engineers nightmare," you muttered under your breath. "Cauldron Rhysand" you continued, "this is structurally impossible to accomplish. Thank the cauldron you came to your Head Engineer to build you your house. Maybe I can knock some sense into you with a brick whilst I'm at it". You shook your head and let out an exasperated breath.

You heard a deep, rasping chuckle just behind your ear. The sound made your skin prickle and tingle with warmth, but didn't quite curb the irritation you felt towards your High Lord.

"What's Rhysand done now?", Cassian laughed in your ear as he banded his arms around you to hold you against his warm body. His chest pressed up against your back whilst his chin gently rested on the top of your head. He tucked his head in, the tip of his nose grazing your hair to drop a single kiss to your head. He took a deep breath in, your floral scent calming his soul and turned his head to the left to lay his cheek on top of your head.

You hummed and enjoyed the feeling of his secure arms. He was feared and revered by the people of the Night Court. Earning his title of the Lord of Bloodshed whilst he fought battles as a young Illyrian warrior alongside his two brothers. He had become hardened, both mentally and physically, from a young age to withstand all kinds of evil this world harboured. Yet, this fearsome and frightening warrior had a warmth inside him that drew you in. A steady ember that glowed brighter than his Siphons. A glow that was powered by friendship, loyalty and love. You had never believed that glow inside his chest would consume and encompass your heart too, for you loved him with all your soul. You weren't his mate, but, you fell in love with him anyways. He had fallen in love with you too. A friendship that grew into a mature love, rooted in mutual respect.

You pursed your lips. "He's got some pretty solid ideas which in theory should work but," you trailed off with a deep sigh, "it just needs a little bit more thinking from me. I can't seem to figure out how to execute this so that the staircase can actually hold the weight of his big head," you finished your sentence with agitation.

"Well, if there's anyone who can help Rhysand not fall flat on his face in his own home then it's my beautiful, accomplished wife." Cassian stated with determination. You tilted your head back to peer up at him through your lashes. Your eyes, squinted with suspicion, locked onto his honey coloured orbs, "Mhmm and it exactly why are you buttering me up, oh Lord of Bloodshed?"

"No reason", he uttered, "I just love you and know for a fact that you've likely spent your entire day trying to perfect this house for Rhysand and Feyre. I'm also 99.9% sure that you haven't eaten anything today." He was right. You hadn't eaten. Too stressed in trying to design a home for your two friends and their baby boy. They had gone through so much together and had done so much for Prythian that you wanted to create a home where they could feel cherished and loved. A place where they could create new memories together. Memories that one day could heal their broken selves and give them hope for the future.

Cassian stared down at you, a soft smile painted his lips and a glimmer twinkled in his eyes which told you that he knew exactly where your mind had gone. Letting go of your body, he grabbed your hand in his and tugged you away from the table towards the kitchen. "You", he said whilst pushing you down into a seat "sit here whilst I, Chef Cassian, cook you something delicious".

You chuckled watching Cassian flounce around the kitchen. He grabbed an apron from the top drawer to tie around his waist and then placed his hand on his hips, determined to create something delicious for you. You looked at him, eyes glazed with love and thanked the Cauldron for gifting you with a wonderful husband.

"This reminds me of our first date." you spoke, your words dripped in nostalgia.

"Yeah" he murmured back, " I remember it turning out to be a disaster and Rhysand having to put out a fire". You laughed at the memory. You weren't fond of going out and loved to spend most of your days inside your flat. Cassian had finally built-up the courage to ask you out and although you were giddy at the prospect of going out on a date with Cassian, you were still weary that this step may ruin your long lasting friendship. Cassian proposed that he cook for you in your flat, that way you would be somewhere comfortable and could relax. He was always so thoughtful about your feelings and his suggestion only made you feel more secure about going into a romantic relationship with him.

Turns out Cassian had never cooked anything in his life until that moment, always relying on Rhysand or the magic of the Windhaven house to feed him. Thankfully no-one got hurt after that date night fire fisaco, only Cassians pride. It resulted in you both deciding on taking cooking classes together for your dates. Leading to the both of you falling head over heels in love with each other and learning to cook different Court cusuines.

"Well, I loved that date night no matter how much of a disaster it was. It opened my eyes to you and how serious you were about me, about us," you spoke softly, eyes welling up with tears. " I think I started to fall in love with you then. You didn't even know how to cook back then but wanted to do something sweet and romantic just so I didn't feel uncomfortable out in public. And here you are today, feeding me because I forgot".

"You're my love. Looking after you is my privelege and joy" he replied. His words were short and sweet but I could feel every fibre of his love in those words. He plated up the food and placed it in front of me. "Eat up sweetheart", he said, tilting my face up to place a firm kiss on my lips. "Can't have the Night Court's Head Engineer low on fuel. Cauldron knows these houses won't stay up without you," he winked and walked away to wash the dishes. You smiled into your food and thanked the Cauldron one last time.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! This is my first time writing fanfic. I hope I did a good enough write up and you all like it. I'm so nervous. I'm not a writer by nature so there's probably loads of spelling and grammar mistakea but I just wanted to give it a go and be part of a community that gives joy to readers like meee.

With love,

theduskyprincess

Altered self-image (established relationship, Cassian’s mate)

You sat at the dining table, poking at the food on your plate with little interest. It had been like this for weeks—your appetite dwindling as your thoughts spiraled into darker places. Every time you looked in the mirror, all you saw were the imperfections: the rolls on the side of your back, the softness of your stomach when you sat, the marks on your thighs. You compared yourself endlessly to Feyre, Elain, and Nesta—how effortlessly thin they seemed, how perfectly their bodies fit into the image of what you thought you should look like.

But you weren’t them. You had curves, and while once they had made you feel powerful, now all you could see were the parts of yourself you wished would disappear. And then there was Cassian—so fit, so muscled, and not an ounce of fat. The warrior everyone admired, the embodiment of strength. How could you stand beside him and feel worthy when you didn’t even feel comfortable in your own skin?

You hadn’t noticed him watching you as you sat there, barely touching your food. But Cassian had been paying attention. He had noticed the way your appetite had waned, the way you pulled back when he tried to wrap his arms around your waist, the way you would avoid looking at yourself in the mirror.

"Are you going to eat that?" His voice broke through your thoughts, and you looked up to see him standing in the doorway, his gaze serious.

You forced a smile, pushing the food around your plate. "I’m just not that hungry."

Cassian narrowed his eyes, the soft concern on his face quickly shifting into something more determined. "That’s not true," he said, crossing the room in a few strides. "You haven’t been eating, and I want to know why."

You felt the knot of guilt tighten in your chest as he stood in front of you, arms crossed. His presence was imposing, but the worry in his eyes softened the sharpness of his stance.

"I... I just don’t feel like it," you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. "It’s nothing."

Cassian crouched down in front of you, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Don’t lie to me, love," he said, his voice low but filled with a quiet intensity. "I’ve noticed. You haven’t been eating right for weeks. You’re not yourself."

You shifted uncomfortably, feeling the tears well up in your eyes. You didn’t want to have this conversation. How could you explain that you felt inadequate, that every time you looked at him—this strong, perfect warrior—you felt like you didn’t measure up?

"I don’t look like them," you blurted out, unable to stop the words from spilling out. "I don’t look like Feyre, or Elain, or Nesta. I’m not thin, Cass. I have fat on my stomach, and marks on my thighs, and when I sit, there are rolls on my back. I don’t look like you—fit, strong. And I... I just feel like I shouldn’t eat if I want to be better."

Cassian’s face softened immediately, and without hesitation, he reached for your hands, gently pulling them into his grasp. "Don’t ever say that," he said firmly, his eyes burning with emotion. "Don’t you dare compare yourself to them. You are *you*. You are my mate, and I love every inch of you, just as you are."

You blinked, the tears finally spilling over as the weight of your insecurities came crashing down. "But I don’t look like you," you choked out. "You’re so perfect, and strong, and I’m just... not."

Cassian’s hands cupped your face, his thumbs brushing away your tears as he looked at you with a tenderness that made your heart ache. "I am not perfect," he said, his voice soft but steady. "And I don’t want you to be, either. I love you for who you are, not for what you think you should look like. Your body is yours, and it’s beautiful. Those curves, the softness of your skin, the marks on your thighs—they’re all part of you, and I wouldn’t change a single thing."

You sobbed, the weight of his words sinking in as you buried your face in his chest. His strong arms wrapped around you, holding you close as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

"I don’t care what anyone else looks like," he murmured against your hair. "I care about you. And I need you to take care of yourself, not because of how you look, but because I want you to be healthy. You deserve to feel good, to feel strong in your own way."

He pulled back slightly, tilting your chin up so you could see the sincerity in his gaze. "You are not meant to be Feyre, or Elain, or Nesta. You are *you*, and I fell in love with every single part of you. I wouldn’t want you any other way."

You sniffled, the warmth of his words finally starting to settle in. "I just... I don’t know how to stop feeling like this."

Cassian kissed your forehead, his hands never leaving yours. "You don’t have to figure it all out right now. But we’re going to work on this, together. You’re not alone, and I’ll be here every step of the way. And for now," he added with a soft smile, "you’re going to eat. Not because you have to, but because you deserve to treat yourself with the same love I have for you."

With trembling hands, you nodded and picked up the fork, taking a bite of the food in front of you. Cassian stayed by your side, his hand gently resting on your back, comforting you as you took the first steps toward healing.

And in that moment, you knew that with him, you would learn to see yourself as he did—worthy, beautiful, and loved.

R&R

Pairing: Cassian x Reader

Summary: Cassian was tired and you were taking forever to get your ass back home.

Word count: 1k

Warnings: nothing! fluff <3

a/n: A little drabble as I ignore my homework.

~~

Cassian was tired. 

He felt it in his bones and the cracks of his skin.

Dirt was ingrained in every crevice of his leathers, dusting out as he shucked the articles to the ground and stepped into the steaming bath. Training didn’t usually take this much out of him, but there were a host of recruits that he needed to train, all so eager to be part of the troops after the victorious War with Hybern. 

All eager but so, so inept.  

And then you weren’t home when he got here, which pissed him off. 

All he could think about during the hours of training drills and conditioning and corrections was coming home to you, pressing his face into your neck, and falling asleep to the warmth of your skin. He had sent a spark down the bond when he started his journey home, which—to him—was a request for you to come home as well. 

You did not. 

Cassian dried himself off and threw on the closest pair of cotton pants he could find, falling into bed with a huff. 

Ridiculous. 

He was in bed and he was alone. 

He covered his eyes with the bulk of his arm. 

He’d sleep then. Fine. 

Only he couldn’t sleep. The bed smelled like you and he tugged at the bond again. This time, you actually did offer him a reply, and Cassian wanted to drown in the warmth you sent through his chest. 

Where the hell were you?

He flipped onto his stomach and shoved his face into a pillow. He should be able to sleep without you there. He was Illyrian; he had slept in far worse conditions. On rocks, in a tree, standing up against war-torn buildings—Cassian could sleep anywhere at any time. But then he met you and he fell in love with you and you weren’t getting your ass home fast enough.

Cauldron help him if you ever decided to go on vacation. 

Mor had tried something like that when you were freshly mated, posing a girl's trip to you and Feyre. That idea hadn’t gone far.

It had been more about sex and lust and being so enamored by you that he couldn’t breathe back then. Right now he just wanted to get some damn sleep. 

The bedroom door clicked open and unrelenting joy washed away the irritation he was harboring for you. Because how could he be irritated when you came into the room all soft and smiley and bright? Upon further contemplation, Cassian decided that no, he wasn’t ever irritated at you, actually. 

“Hi, Cass,” you called, the sound muting the headache that had begun to form behind the general’s eyes. “How were the recruits? Are they ready to charge into battle?”

You flitted about the room, taking off your coat and setting your bags down and not paying attention to him at all. Cassian fought the urge to tackle you onto the bed just to get you to stop moving. He couldn’t even get a good look at you like this, and he hadn’t seen you all day. He left before you woke up. 

“Yeah maybe in a few years,” Cassian grumbled, following you with his eyes as you started cleaning up the damn room. “C’mere, sweetheart.” 

“I will in just a moment. This place is a mess. You got dirt everywhere, did you know that?” 

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up later, just come here.” 

You tsked and ignored him. Cassian cursed at the ceiling.

“I was out with Mor earlier and we stopped by Nyx's school to surprise him,” you giggled, grabbing a stupid broom. “He was adorable, of course. He painted you and Az for one of his projects in art. You’ll have to see it when he brings it home. I swear, Cass, he is just hmph—” 

The broom clattered to the floor, forgotten along with the dirt that lined the wood. Your cheeks were encased by Cassian’s hands as he kissed you, and he ran one back to entangle it with your hair. Gods, you smelled good, like strawberries or apples or whatever fruity perfume you were trying while you were out shopping. Cassian deepened the kiss and relished in the surprised sound you made. 

“You didn’t even kiss me when you came in,” he practically pouted, lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “Or look at me.” 

You gripped at his biceps to keep yourself upright, his body pressed so closely to yours. “I didn’t mean to,” you whispered. 

“I know.” He nudged your nose with his. “Lay down with me.” 

“But the floor—” 

“Lay down with me,” he repeated.

A brief pause, a small nod; right now, it took very little to make Cassian so inexplicably happy. 

He gathered you in his arms the moment your body hit the sheets, burying his face in your neck like he was supposed to do about thirty minutes ago. And then you ran your fingers across his scalp and Cassian decided he was dead. There was no other explanation for this type of bliss. 

“Did you have a bad day?” you asked softly. 

“Day was fine. Long, but fine,” he grumbled, pulling you tighter, pressing his lips to your skin. 

You hummed. “Then why couldn’t I clean the room?” 

“Because I’m tired and you were over there.” 

“Not seeing the correlation, my love.” 

Tire was weighing heavy on Cassian’s mind. His body relaxed even more into the bed as his hands ran down the length of your body. 

“I need to hold you to fall asleep,” he replied as if it were obvious. Because it was. 

“Oh.” 

He grunted out a confirmation.

“Well, I’m not exactly ready for bed yet and I told Rhys—” 

“I love you,” Cassian interrupted. “Please stop talking.” 

And then Cassian was no longer pissed or annoyed or tired because nothing was out of place. Sleep found him quickly.