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Lucifer: *enters the hotel*

Alastor: I cast vicious mockery 😈

An animation my sis and I made for fun

Music is Perception Check by Tom Cardy.

Yeah I think you’re in the right place, Al.

#sir, your son is the size of a shrimp

How I found out about trump getting shot

Everyone Right Now

Okay but how funny would a ITSV au where Hobie was the one pulled into Miles dimension instead of Gwen be?

He shows up at Visions Academy, steals a uniform and immediately begins arguing with teachers about the classist nature of private education and the voucher system, but he's so smart and well read that no one ever figures out he's technically not enrolled at the Academy. Meanwhile Miles immediately starts crushing on this cool punk rock rebel who defies expectations but can't work up the courage to go up and say high.

Miles tries the shoulder touch, Hobie flirts back, and Miles turns invisible on the spot.

pay attention, idiot

Bonus:

recruitment! (sad attempt at flirting)

Yeah, okay so this keeps happening

Found this old fic concept in my notes, I doubt I'll ever get around to writing it or that I could do it justice if I did, but it still makes me laugh so I wrote it up as a little blurb. Perhaps it will make you laugh too.

Mega Popstar Dream and Hob, his extremely non-famous celebrity crush

So in this universe Dream is an extremely famous musician. He's like Taylor Swift level of famous, if you walk up to any random person on the street they would know who he is. Meanwhile Hob is an actor but really not very well known, he was in a few small projects and is in the core cast of one TV show that's well-regarded but not super popular.

It's Dream's FAVORITE TV SHOW and Hob is his FAVORITE ACTOR that he's ferally OBSESSED WITH. Everyone knows about this too, Dream is really obvious about it. In interviews people will ask him what he likes and he's like "this is my favorite TV show" "have you seen Hob Gadling in that show isn't he incredible", They'll ask him if he has a celebrity crush (as a joke) and he's like "YES HOB GADLING 😍" like it's become a meme in Dream's fandom how much he has a crush on this random actor.

They've never met though, probably Dream was afraid to -- 'never meet your heroes' and all -- and never let his team book any overlapping events. So he's never seen Hob in person, only watched his favorite TV show 65 times in a row and memorized every inch of his face. Like a stalker.

So then a Buzzfeed-esque YouTube channel is running a special edition of their usual challenge show, "People Meet Their Celebrity Crush", except this time it's "CELEBRITIES Meet Their Celebrity Crush." Dream's entire team conspires against him to book him on this. Dream doesn't know what it is until the very moment since the whole point is to surprise people with their crush. Needless to say, Hob was REALLY dubious when the channel reached out like "do you want to come on as Dream's celebrity crush" but what's he gonna do say NO? say NO when Dream is so pretty and cute? So yeah he goes.

Anyway during the moment in the video when they revealed his celebrity crush to him -- aka Hob just looking like a totally normal and random guy -- Dream literally tripped over a chair and fell on the floor and then fainted. Instant meme and it became the thumbnail of the video. When Dream woke up to find Hob crouched by him all concerned asking if he was okay he nearly had a panic attack, he was never more flustered and nervous in his whole life not even performing for crowds of millions.

Hob fell in love instantly. He doesn't even know much about Dream, he hasn't even listened to Dream's music other than what's just playing ubiquitously on the radio all the time but all it took was watching Dream fall over a chair and then look up at him with his huge starry eyes and he was like 'This one's mine forever idc. I gotta protect this nerd he won't survive in the wild.'

Anyway they did start dating after that and Dream never leaves the honeymoon phase for the rest of his whole life, he truly thinks Hob is the most handsome man and best actor in the entire world and will tell anyone so at any opportunity, he goes around saying things like "see if you believe really hard you too can marry your celebrity crush 🥰" with zero irony, he might have skipped the Grammys to go to the premiere of season 3 of Hob's show (Hob didn't ask him to do that) (Dream won the Grammy but had more fun staring at Hob's face for 2 hours than he would have had at the awards show). Meanwhile Hob never talks about Dream in public because Dream already has negative 500% privacy in his life, he's extremely protective of him, and he allegedly punched one of the paparazzi in the face when they tried to take stealth shots at their wedding which was supposed to be a private affair. ALLEGEDLY. No charges were filed.

Dream did post one photo of the wedding on insta for his adoring fandom in which he described Hob as his knight in shining armor and then denied any knowledge of any 'alleged' events when asked about it in the future. Because Hob was so much more private about their relationship than Dream, for a while Dream's fandom had been like HOB DOESN'T DESERVE DREAM but after the (alleged) story about Hob punching someone in the face came out they were all obsessed with him. So that solved that problem.

(Despite Hob's efforts a paparazzi photo did come out of them the morning after the wedding, Hob sitting on the terrace drinking coffee, Dream sitting on his lap wearing Hob's shirt and looking thoroughly ravished. Dream might have framed it.)

Then they lived happily ever after. Dream put Hob in every one of his music videos regardless of whether it made sense for the story. Hob got one of Dream's songs put in his favorite TV show which made Dream's whole entire year. The end :)

the autopsy team in every hannibal episode:

will graham:

they took the "match each other's freak" trope too seriously

the magnus archives is a workplace comedy

I know we all love Utterson's "If he be Mr. Hyde, I shall be Mr. Seek." But why are we all sleeping on this one comment from Enfield

About as emotional as a bagpipe.

the pinnacle of men

bonus

i am actually surprised that there isn't more people talking about this man

LOOK AT HIM

like what??

When Will says "it's beautiful" and Hannibal dumbly nods like "yes YOU ARE"

gif: @rocktheholygrail

the thing is that i do wholeheartedly believe hannibal would be a good husband. not a good person at all but you dont need to be a good person to be a good husband

1889… Just before their dreadful separation, there is such an intimate moment, where Hob opens up about himself. And where Dream, in his way of course, shows the esteem he has for him (which only makes the end of the meeting more dramatic)

First there is the moment when Hob talks about the only thing he has discovered in 500 years.

At the end of the sentence, he has this little look down, quite sad. And Dream sees it (as usual he shows it with a micro expression, this slight frown, that makes him look almost worried)

Then Hob turns around to look at Lou Lushing. He still has that melancholy look on his face, even though what he's saying could be a reason to rejoice, that people are better than you think they are most of the time.

Already at that moment I was wondering, why look sad if he says that. And he himself gives the answer. He does not include himself in those people who are better than we think. He has this little sad, self-deprecating laugh before he tells Dream.

But Dream, even if he only saw him every hundred years, he witnessed him change. And if Hob in what makes him endearing has not changed, he has changed in what matters, taking Dream's advice and learning from his experience. And Dream tells him so in an absolutely sincere way.

And Hob's reaction is almost adorable, the smile he followed by a sigh, because he is so aware of his mistakes and still making them.

And I love Dream's reaction here. As often without words, but his eyes and expression are so open, so caring.

And it is exactly this moment that will make Hob realize that their relationship is more than these secularly casual encounters. But that's for another post…

Mads: "It is a giant journey obviously for both of them. In reality that is a giant journey he's gone through (Will) but in Hannibal's world as well, even though the step is much smaller for him, it's a gigantic leap. Right?"

Hugh: "Because he's potentially envisioning– caring on a few..."

Mads: "A future."

Hugh: "Yeah."

Mads: "But it's interesting because Hannibal had never ever thought about the future. He's a man who lives in the present. And for once he saw a future."

– Mads Mikkelsen and Hugh Dancy, talking about 'The Wrath of the Lamb' finale scene

i love hannigram because while exuding the horniest, we-fuck-daily vibes, they don't give off the Actually Fucking vibes. i don't mean this in an asexual way, i mean that whatever they have going on may not be sex but it is twice as erotic (and probably thrice as deadly)