I Was Thinking That If You Split Past And Future You Get Now, So Then I Thought What Could Cause That

I was thinking that if you split Past and Future you get Now, so then I thought what could cause that split? And then I realised that it’d probably be some quirk of quantum mechanics… And then because we only ever experience Now, that means that life is a quantum effect. There you go I solved it everyone.

This theory makes a lot of sense. Although I should probably expand on the bit about splitting the Past and Future concept. I feel like there might be some holes there need filling up like jelly in a swimming pool.

So. In order to split something first you need something to split – like this potato – and you need something to split it with – like this knife. And then SCHLOOCK look look! Grubs! All wigglylike lookit all the it ewwwww

~outtakes~

-Like, if I karate chop a banana in half it doesn’t turn into two distinct objective principles (not for me) (wait) ok maybe it does.

~deleted scenes~

-*A sub-atomic particle randomly splits into multiple dimensions and spawns a new version of belief. A neighbouring sub-atomic particle decides not to report this to management.*

-(Earlier, at the shops) Ooh potatoes on sale

My favorite Schrödinger quote: “I don’t like it and I’m sorry I ever had anything to do with it” (speaking about quantum mechanics, the field for which he created the unofficial poster child)

Actual quotes from my undergrad quantum mechanics professor (2019):

"Any one of you, if pressed hard enough, could use a rock to kill a gazelle"

"I haven't killed anyone since I was in my 20's!"

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three wrongs do. So, if someone wrongs you, get back at them double."

(After a student asked a really good question) "I'm doing this because it's his fucking fault."

"Wouldn't it be great if Bohr, Schrödinger, etc… were struck by lightning before arriving at this conclusion?"

"The key to being a successful physicist is to be an arrogant shit."

(When asked why he assigned so many homework problems) "One reason is to keep people awake at night. The other reason is that I'm insane."

"No no. Cross that out. Write dumbass next to it."

"Vigor, not rigor, as my PhD advisor used to say."

"I can either be A. depressed or B. infinitely amused."

"The Finite Square Well: The chances of an algebra mistake are greater than 1. -Dirac"

"I tend to not get excited about important things like the end of the world, but this pisses me off."

(After grading our first exam) "I don't care if you don't go into fucking physics, but REALLY PEOPLE? … Even people who don't give a rat's ass can be productive in society … but REALLY??"

"In classical mechanics, you can ignore the product rule. Write that down."

"It's always darkest before the dawn, unless it gets darker."

"I'll give you ten dollars if you don't ask me that question again."

"If you mean it then you're a nerd nerd. If you're being ironic, then there's still hope for you."

"60% of books use E to be + and 60% of books use E to be -, and you can never tell which it is."

"I think I knew a guy named Jack Shit in New Jersey."

"Life is more complicated than physics, that's for sure. That's what makes it fun."

Ceaseless watcher, turn your gaze upon this tired little man.

This was supposed to be a quick sketch. I never draw digitally but I decided to start trying again and it's kind of fun. Also my first time posting fanart online, be nice.

"Demure" "mindful" you are DETRIMENTAL TO THE WAR EFFORT OF KING COLE