screamingnacle - NacleNature
NacleNature

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No Offense But Check Yes Juliet Kill The Limbo Ill Keep Tossin Rocks At Your Window

no offense but check yes juliet kill the limbo i’ll keep tossin rocks at your window

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4 years ago

Things Edward Could’ve Said That Sound Less Suspicious

Bella: Your eyes are a different color, did you get contacts?

Edward: Uh haha yeah I did. I think they look pretty cool.

Edward: *stops the car and saves Bella* Hey are you ok? *stands up, pretends his arm hurts* Awesome I’m gonna get this looked at now.

*Tells Carlisle. Comes back to school with arm in a cast and sling*

Bella: How did you stop that car? You were amazing.

Edward: Well sadly I wasn’t bit by a radioactive spider and I don’t have superpowers. Doctor said it was an adrenaline rush, it’s a common natural response to life or death situations. Basically it maximizes your body’s physical capabilities. So yeah it’s like temporary super strength and speed. Crazy shit.

Bella: You’re so cold. I can’t feel your pulse.

Edward: I have hypothyroidism and bradycardia.

Bella: Aren’t you going to eat something?

Edward: I have to be on a special diet.

Bella: Oh right, your condition, sorry.

This list could go on and on. You’d think after being a mind reading vampire for 91 years you’d learn a thing or two about being a good liar. SHEESH.