I Reckon I'm Going To Get Hit From My Relatives With My Complains But UGH. 62 Spins And You Still Won't

I reckon I'm going to get hit from my relatives with my complains but UGH. 62 spins and you still won't come home AAAGGGHHH

Ah, I feel so jealous of those who got Satan's SSR card 😭

LIKE NO! I! DON'T! REALLY! LIKE! THE UR+ cards (no offense meant to Luci's and Dia's simps, they're hot, BUT SATAN---)!

You're not even in the rewards section so I can't get your card pieces but just have to rely on my almost non-existent sheer luck 😣

lol gojo HAHHAAHHAAA

Gojo the type of guy that thinks he’s good at flirting but he has only been successful because of his pretty face. I’m sure his gf in the chaos couple has cut him down a few times. Not that he actually feels down about it but everyone else is pikachu face :0

notes: gojo 100% lives in the bubble. sorry I took so long, anon! also sorry because I don’t think this is as good as I want it to be 😔 words: 2.1k related chaos couple drabbles

It’s hard to keep the frown off your face as you watch the cashier giggle at Gojo’s...flirtations. When he leans over the counter toward her just slightly and you see her cheeks turn bright red, you actually roll your eyes. 

It’s not because you’re jealous. You know where you stand in yours and Gojo’s relationship. After all, you’ve been with the annoying man for years. 

No, it’s because with every giggle and every bat of her eyelashes and every twirl of her hair around her finger, you can practically see Gojo’s ego growing larger. When he finally pulls his trademark move of tilting his head down so that he can look at her over the rims of his sunglasses and let her see his eyes, you’ve finally had enough.

You give a loud huff and walk away, but not before you hear the cashier offer to let Gojo use her employee discount.

By the time he finally rejoins you, whistling as he swings a paper shopping bag in his hand, you’re sitting outside on a bench and halfway the iced coffee you’ve had time buy while waiting for him to finish “shopping.”

When he plops down next to you and drops an arm over your shoulder, you direct a withering glare at him. 

“Oh, what’s that look for?” he asks cluelessly before he grabs your drink from you and takes a sip, only to grimace at the bitterness and toss it in the trash can on the other end of the bench. Your jaw drops in outrage but before you can scold him and demand that he buy you a new one, he’s already moving on. “You only look at me like that when you’re annoyed.”

But then he pauses for a moment and the corners of your lips turn down because you can tell that he’s about to jump to a wrong conclusion.

“Wait...are you jealous?”

You don’t need to see through his sunglasses to know that his eyes have lit up with glee at the notion. 

“You are! You’re so totally jealous!” He laughs incredulously and you force yourself to take a deep, calming breath. 

“Why would I be jealous?” you ask with a completely straight face once his laughter has finally died down.

“Because you don’t want to someone encroaching on your territory!” he grins, puffing out his chest with pride and you can’t hold back your derisive snort. However, he’s so caught up in himself that he doesn’t even notice. “You don’t want someone trying to take your car for a ride when it’s the nicest one in the neighborhood.”

He sighs as he tugs you closer to him and rests his cheek on top of your head. You try to wriggle away from him but he only squeezes you tighter.

“I didn’t mean to make you jealous,” he says, his words dripping with condescension. “I just can’t help flirting. It comes so naturally and then it gives them the wrong signal.”

You can’t take it anymore. You elbow him in the side -- trying not to dwell on the fact that he let you do it -- and scoot away from him. 

“They’re not into you because of your flirting,” you scoff and he pauses, giving you a look of genuine confusion. “They treat you so nice because of...this.”

You gesture vaguely to his face and his eyebrows wrinkle together above his sunglasses. 

“This?” he repeats before pointing at himself. “My face?”

“Yeah,” you tell him like it’s obvious, which it is. His pretty boy looks and his strength as a jujutsu sorcerer are the only things that have carried him so far in life.

Gojo seems to be the only person unaware of it. 

“That cashier didn’t let me use her discount because of my face,” he explains with a dismissive wave of his hand, like you’re the one who doesn’t get it. “It’s because I flirted with her so she thought she had a chance!”

“Satoru, you’re terrible at flirting,” you point out and he instantly gasps and flinches away from you like you’ve burned him. By now, you’re more than used to his antics and you merely continue. “And you have a terrible personality. If they couldn’t see you then they’d treat you worse than everyone else.”

“That’s not true,” he protests, sounding sincerely hurt and you roll your eyes as you stand up.

“I’ll prove it to you. Wait here,” you tell him before you leave him behind on the bench to head toward the convenience store a few shops away. When you return ten minutes later, it’s with a plastic bag in hand.

Without a word, you remove his sunglasses and perch them on top of your head for safekeeping. You then reach into the bag into the plastic bag and pull out a new, oversized pair of sunglasses that you slip on in their place to shield his eyes, a bucket hat that you drop on top of his head to cover his hair, and a face mask to hide the rest of his annoyingly perfect features.

When you’re done and take in the sight of him before you, you can’t help but smirk at how he now looks like someone who would be on a list of known sex offenders. Your fingers suddenly itch to take out your phone so you can sneak a picture of him that you can share with your students later. But you decide to be merciful and leave your phone where it is in your bag.

You’re already making him leave the bubble that he’s been living in for his entire life. That annoying affection that you hold for him has you feeling the slightest bit of pity for him. 

“We’re gonna go back to the cafe and you’re going to buy me a replacement coffee to make up for the one you threw away,” you explain to him, your arms crossed over your chest as you look at him with a raised eyebrow, daring him to disagree. 

“Fine,” he agrees easily as he stands and you lead him to the coffee shop. Although you can’t see his face, you can hear the grin that’s surely on his lips. “But just so you know, I’m not buying anything. They’ll give it to me for free.”

The cockiness in his voice is like music to your ears. You’re not blind to Gojo’s faults -- despite what your peers (and students) might think. If anything, you’re all too aware of them, which means you know that he’s in for a rude awakening. 

You hold open the door to the cafe for him, giving him a smirk as he passes you before you follow right after him. It’s just as slow as it was when you came earlier with only a few patrons seated inside and the baristas joking about something behind the counter. 

When the barista who took your order the first time catches sight of you and Gojo, she gives you a friendly smile.

“Oh, back already?” she asks as you stop in front of the register and you smile in return.

“Yeah, my friend here--” you begin to explain, only to be cut off when Gojo drops a hand to your shoulder and pushes you out of the way so that he can be the focus of the barista’s attention. 

She immediately frowns and looks at you with concern. But before she can ask if you’re okay, Gojo begins to lay it on thick. 

“Ah, you know, I heard how great the coffee was here, but no one said anything about how beautiful the cashier was!” he exclaims and you bite you bottom lip to keep from laughing at the clear disgust on the barista’s face. 

He seems to notice it too because even with 95% of his head covered, you can see how he falters slightly at her reaction. It’s not something he’s used to -- at least not from poor, unsuspecting women. 

“What would you like to order?” she asks, her tone suddenly a lot less friendly than how it was when she greeted you. Gojo seems to see this as a second chance. 

“Hmmmmm, what do I want to order?” he repeats aloud to himself, tapping his covered chin with a finger as takes his time looking over the menu. “What do you recommend? I like things that are sweet.”

He’s consciously layering it on thicker now that he’s without his biggest asset, his face, and it’s clearly having the opposite effect because the barista grimaces. You’ll have to be sure Gojo leaves her a big tip. 

“We have a pear-pineapple smoothie,” she suggests, a forced, plastic, customer-service smile on her face. 

“Well, you’re the expert,” he laughs uproariously, like he’s just told the funniest joke known to man. You have to hand it to the barista because her fake smile doesn’t dim even slightly and she rings up a smoothie. 

“Oh, a medium iced coffee as well, please,” you add on politely, knowing that Gojo’s already forgotten that replacing your coffee was your main reason for coming in. 

She nods and rings that up as well before telling you both the total. And when Gojo hears that she is indeed charging him, he freezes.

“It’s not free?” he asks and you have to slap your hand over your mouth to keep in your laughter this time.

“No...?” the barista answers, just as confused about why the drinks would be free as Gojo is that they’re not. 

“But you’re into me,” he points out like it’s a given fact and she visibly recoils at the suggestion.

“Excuse me?” She looks horrified and her outcry seems to have been enough to cause her manager to step in. 

“Is there a problem?” the manager asks with a deep frown and you know Gojo too well, because you know that he’s about to turn his flirtations on her instead.

Deciding that he’s learned his lesson, and wanting your iced coffee already, you finally step in.

“Ah, no. I’m so sorry about him,” you offer with an apologetic wince and it’s now your turn to push him out of the way. You slip your hand into his back pocket and pull out his wallet, opening it to grab his credit card.

“Hey! I--”

“He’s just not very good with people and I’ve been trying to get him more used to social situations but he’s still struggling with boundaries,” you explain, dryly noting the entire time that everything you said is true. “I’m really so sorry.”

You hear Gojo splutter behind you in protest but you, and the two women behind the counter, pay him no mind. You finish paying for your order and the pull out the stack of bills from the wallet and shove them in the tip jar before tossing the the much-lighter wallet back at him. 

Your drinks come out in what must be record time and you’re quick to shove Gojo out of the cafe ahead of you, certain that the employees breathe a collective sigh of relief to see you both gone. 

You watch with amusement as Gojo finds his way back to the bench the two of you were previously sharing where he plops down and dejectedly hunches over. You sit down beside him and pull off the bucket hat so that you can run your fingers through his hair. 

He sighs heavily and takes off the sunglasses and face mask you purchased. He hands them over to you and takes his own sunglasses back from where they’re still resting on top of your head. He takes a sip of his smoothie only to frown down at it.

“It’s not even that sweet,” he whines and you snort.

“Satoru?” you ask, his pathetic state making you more inclined to indulge his sulking. “Do you want to go back into your pretty boy bubble where everyone’s nice to you in spite of your terrible personality?”

He shamelessly nods and you can’t fully hold back your grin. You lean in and drop a kiss to his cheek. 

“Okay,” you agree before you playfully pinch his cheek right where your lips had just been. “Just so long as you don’t forget that you’re my pretty boy.”

"Evil is born, you third-rate wannabe."

I THINK THIS IS WHAT HE SAID? 🤣

Viole, trying to convince Khun he is An Evil Slayer Candidate:

Satoru Gojo cat~

"U are weak, nyah~"

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Bonus:

#zutara will still be my ship after all this time, people

I keep forgetting to post this (mostly because I’ve worked 80 to 100-hour weeks for the last 7 months without any time off haha~) but here, FINALLY, is my contribution to the first ever Zutara fanzine, Eclipse. I am so, so honored to have been given the opportunity to contribute to such a special project. 

I went for a very simple comic style here, but even so, I’ve never put so much time into a piece before. So much respect for all comic and animation artists out there, seriously, not at all my forte. Even so, if I had a choice, this would’ve been longer, but I can’t take up the whole zine! My only hope is that this delivers all the intended feels. 

it might seem like my whole life revolves around fictional characters but yes it does