Trying To Work On My Very Bad Writing. ( I Swear, I Need To Work On My Kiss + Smut Scenes, It Feels So

Trying to work on my very bad writing. ( I swear, I need to work on my kiss + smut scenes, it feels so awkward because it's just weird? Idk. ) So have a cliffhanger.

Severus's breath caught again as he felt James's hands settle on his waist, the touch tentative yet earnest. The unexpected gesture made Severus's heart race, and he found himself subconsciously leaning in. As his hand moved to rest on James's shoulder, the other lingered on James's Gryffindor tie, the fabric cool and familiar under his fingers.

A torrent of thoughts and emotions surged through Severus's mind. This was James Potter, his enemy, the source of so much animosity, the barrier between him and Lily. Yet here they were, Severus's lips tingling with the ghost of a kiss that shouldn't have been. It was wrong; everything about this was wrong. James was arrogant, infuriating, the very essence of everything Severus had come to despise.

Why was he feeling this way? James was everything he despised; arrogant, infuriating, the embodiment of everything he'd fought against. It was wrong. This was wrong. All of it was wrong, he loved Lily and Severus... Severus loved her too.

Now I see why Lily fancies him, if only the git didn't go out of his way to torment me. He thought to himself.

A few days later, the guilt consumed Severus. It was all so wrong — seeing Lily so happy about being Head Girl while his thoughts were haunted by that kiss with Ja- Potter. He couldn't shake the feeling, no matter how hard he tried.

Lily's voice rang with excitement as she called out, "Sev! Can you believe it? I've been named Head Girl!" Her eyes sparkled with joy, but her smile faltered when she caught sight of his expression. He struggled to mask the turmoil within, guilt gnawing at him for betraying her trust by kissing her crush. It felt like a betrayal, yet it also felt right. Fuck, when can my luck be so terrible.

( My poor baby, Lily and Sev. 😞 )

what did snape do as a death eater? it's a little unclear. but i think it's likely he did not murder anyone. severus is against killing dumbledore. when dumbledore asks severus to prevent draco from damaging his (uncorrupted) soul, severus says “And my soul, Dumbledore? Mine?” which suggests that severus has not committed murder, even when he was a fully-fledged death eater. althought severus was clearly skilled in combat, this implied that he did not commit the same atrocities as other death eaters. personally, i think he mostly utilized his other talents (which other servants of voldemort did not posess), like (dark) spell creation and brewing. and, of course, intelligence gathering, which he did in both the first and second wars. second, this is kind of a sad moment for albus and severus's relationship. because dumbledore is working to maximize good: this plan will save (what's left of) draco's innocence while solidifying severus's standing with voldemort and preserving dumbledore's dignity. we get where dumble is coming from, but he implies that severus's soul is irredeemable. that his suffering is less significant. snape, who for years has been dumbledore's right hand (especially after dumble's own right hand got cursed lol), gets taken for granted. dumbledore has no ill intent here but he's not great at treating individuals as people–he prefers to analyze the big picture (and makes social blunders lol).

the one thing that will always make me furious is the way marauders fans downplay what happened in snape's worst memory. they had snape in the air, in front of a whole crowd, and exposed his underwear to everyone obviously against his will, then threatened to remove that too - which we have no reason to presume they didn't do. james was riled up and being cheered on, there was nobody there to stop him, no teachers nearby and we all know that remus wasn't going to say anything even though he was a prefect.

that is a form of sexual harassment, even if the underwear did stay on, and regardless of intention. and if you still can't see it, imagine how it would look if snape had been a girl. not a prank or joke or argument. call it what it actually was!

there is just simply no excuse for it either. snape was not a death eater, he hadn't done anything to them. he was a child simply sitting under a tree and minding his own business. and i truly believe that this is part of why it was his worst memory - yes, partially because he lost lily in this scene, but that's not the only reason. what happened here could leave anyone traumatised. he did not deserve that, in fact nobody does. this scene already disgusted me the first time i read the books way before i even liked snape. hell, it disgusted harry too. if harry, who has every right to hate snape, can see that it was horrible and call out sirius and remus who he loves so much, why can't you?

Pov your mum makes you sit next to the shitty aunt so she doesn't have to

Edit: he's literally got his left leg moved away from her he's subconsciously trying to run away omg

Severus Snape: *Searching for a snack*

James Potter: “What are you doing my sweet snivelly? 🤔😨🥰

Severus Snape: “I’m looking for a snack, but there doesn’t seem to be any,”

James Potter: 😮🫠 “There’s plenty,”

Severus Snape: “Where?” 😐

James Potter: “You’re looking at it.” 🥹😍

Severus Snape:😓😒