PRETTY WHEN YOU CRY

PRETTY WHEN YOU CRY

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟content warnings angst, blackmailing, name-calling, flashbacks

.᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ notes i'm sorry if you're not being tagged, tumblr have a limit for tagging in a post. thank you all again for the comments.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ taglist: @missakward123 @lupitalove @i00bear @socialanxietyvictim @tourmalxine @labelt-san @ghostlyworld @kashxyou @chiiiiiiiiiiifuuuuuuuu @cute-sucker @skii-high @boyimjustaloserforyourlove @jossayuuu @bubblesandsand1-0 @ply4vnce @witchymermaid12 @luna-v-roiya @mariyumemi @sinfullygay @higurumapet @kvk6433gkcigv @s-j320 @bts-skz @imcreepininyourheartbabe @hazzelle-kento @cashcadaver @n1vi @kiruupon @vebbiewuzhere @its-princessmara @ssetsuka @unicornqueen05 @idkwhattfimdoinghere2 @sunnytyun @tomriddles-wh0re @ya-mamaaaaa @wateriswhatiam @red-writes @saltyladyflower @greyclouq @bahurani @lovayle @okayiamkassandra @sealikesushi @sanzuandmike @spicana @luvsymai @uniquenicefangirl @ushijimaschubbs @lansy-4 @aesonsgirl @eggieshiteru @jellibean2018 @uchihabucketlist @sunaemoby @cupidscourt @divinedolliebun @rottmntrulesall @mmeharuno @sleighter @haesify @desperadaparasapagmamhal @ichikanu @daytej @0honeylemonade

they meet you now after three grueling years and one thing's not changed. is that you still look pretty when you cry.

the chair make a scraping sound as you dragged it to make space for you to get up. standing, you were about to walk out but you stopped. their words and yours ringing through your ears. i'll think about it. that's the most stupid response you ever caught yourself saying. who were you kidding? yourself, maybe. what difference would it make with their words. what kind of making up they can do for you to bury it to puke.

you were too forgiving. that's why they abused you. that's why every tear drop is a smile to them. your pain is nothing to them. that every welts you have in your body, the bruises and the blood spilling when they bite too hard are feeding to their sadistic fantasies and when you got away from that, they've come back to haunt and wanting to reconcile for the damage they put you.

geto puts you the worst of it and gojo is just the same. the same men sharing at your table waiting for your answer. their faces brightening up when you said you'll think about it. what's to think about it when the damages been done and you're too broken to fix what they have done.

slowly, you turn around to meet them still sitting. “there's nothing to think about it.” you began.

their faces morphing into a shock and one you could not describe. “easy for you both to say about reconcilation and forgiveness when you put me through hell.” your voice trembles and you're afraid it would betray you to speak up.

“while you partied hard that night, i was laying in my supposedly death bed. i wished i died that night but i didn't, lucky right?” smiling mockingly, voice dripping with sarcasm and you giggle to yourself like you didn't understand you anymore and your voice died down.

“why did you have to put me in such misery, suguru... satoru?” you asked them, tears slowly dripping from your eyes without you realizing like the days where after they've fucked you, you find yourself staring in nothingness.

“it's because i am fat and ugly and either of you giving me attention will make me feel good about myself being desired? tell me, satoru, suguru. you two were always good with words, explain it to me.” you said it barely a whisper, your voice strained with resentment.

“it's my fault too, you know. i should have let you two released that video. me being called a slut by my peers and a disgrace to my family would be a temporary shame and maybe i won't be living in this eternal suffering and i would be out of your hair and you can't control me no more.” closing your eyes, more tears poured. letting out shaky breaths and you hate yourself for being so weak and stupid. you should have done that. a sex video being circulated online and having a scandal would take days, months top to die down and that was the easiest course for them to leave you alone. it would have ended your misery and you wouldn't be involved with them no more.

the younger them would have laugh at your situation. take pleasure at you crying and would have mocked you for being such a crybaby but this one is different. they were scum and as if they didn't change in the course of the years to take you lightly.

the sight of you crying should have brought them joy but it doesn't. instead with a feeling gnawing in their gut. heart being wringed from how tight it was being squeezed. since when they have learned to grasp this new found sensation of being able to recognize what you were feeling. was it the day when they see again after three years of agonizing wondering where you are and seeing you alive and well and this revelation of being burdened by the unsaid feelings that took you courage to tell them about it.

speechless you are when they took your voice and taught you to turn a blind eye to whatever they did to you and you see them for what they really are or you already have seen them a long ago but you can never speak of it. arrogant and selfish. condescending and sadistic. a touch of being merciful when they wanted it.

standing up from where they sat, without hesitation they approached you. suguru in front while satoru was in your behind. their arms being wrapped around your body. trapping you between their bodies.

“don't you touch me! you both disgust me!” a sob racked throughout your body. angered from how they think they could touch your freely like this. squirming as your fist reach suguru's chest. trying to break free from their grasp and just like the old days when they used to encased you with their bodies, your flight is proven to be useless. “let me go!” a pained gasp escaping from you.

a shiver went down through your spine. goosebumps rising all over your body. suguru's lips are in your ears. “i know. i know.” he whispers. “forget about us asking you to forgive us. you don't have to but let us prove you that i-we have changed. let us, please (y/n). that's all is ask of you.” that was a first you thought. you never heard suguru to be pleading to you when it was the opposite of it and you were the one who is pleading for the times back in college.

satoru's face are buried in the crook of your neck. “that's also what i ask, (y/n). please.” gojo murmurs and you blinked in many times. trying to process who the hell they are to asked you of this. “leave me alone and let me go!” but it wasn't that easy as their hold tightens on you like a boa constricting its prey the more it moves. “i'm sorry, we'll let go once you accepted it.” satoru told you.

sobbing you let out a faint yes before scrambling to get out from their hold. “i need to go now.” you said but suguru grabs your arms and you dared to meet his gaze and there's the purples of his eyes. once that you learned to love. your tears are reduced to droplets and suguru gently wipes it with his thumb. cupping your round cheeks stained with dried tears. “i need to go now.” you repeated and geto gathers the files you have brought for the meeting of your supposed client. stuffing it in your suitcase and you left without giving them a second look.

the doors opened for you and you left. bad habits don't die. when you find yourself troubled you let your feet think where will they bring you with your mind absent for any rational thinking and it only got you of tranced when your phone have been ringing for the past minutes.

you were too distracted to read who's the one calling you and without hesitation you pressed the call button. there's the voice in the other end of the line belonging to nanami. your confidant who helped you get through the worst happenings of your life.

“nanami?” your voice came as hoarse and then a sniffle following through. hearing your sniffles from the other line nanami already knows what you were feeling. “are you crying?” he asks and then there's a sniffle and a sob. he didn't know to ask further. “where are you?” there's a brief silence.

looking at your surroundings it looks like you were in a secluded part of tokyo. the greeneries are present and it was quiet too. “i-i don't know, nanami. i'm kind of lost.” you confessed to nanami and nanami sighs. “stay where you are.” he tells you and you replied with okay.

after describing your surroundings he finds you in a nearby shrine. “(y/n)?” he doesn't need to call you to know it was you. from your corporate attire hugging your plump body and that posture, he knows it is you. turning around he was never prepared to see you looking like you were back in the day where you lay in bed crying.

your voice crumbles and all the strength in your body left you upon seeing him. “what happened?” dropping his suit case without a care in the world to approach you. “i-i meet them.” your voice trembling and he does know who they are. his once concerned expression in his face turned cold upon hearing who you were implying. “did they touch?” cause if they did. jail would be a good place to cool his head. “yes but they wanted to reconcile with me.” you were distraught and nanami thinks how strong you are for standing up for yourself with your former bullies even in this form.

he didn't say another word and came holding you in his arms. your head pressed in his chest where you felt the safest cradled in his arms. his scent comforting you and that's where you cried. nanami doesn't mind of course. for you he would bleed himself dry.

too bad that you can't be with him.

“ah, here they are. the two idiots.” the brunette doctor they have been friends for years greeted them with mock enthusiasm.

“hey there, shoko.” gojo greeted her and shoko lights her cigarette.

“do what i owe you two to drag me in my precious break.” exhaling the fumes of her cigarette while looking at the distance.

they asked her to meet them in one of the places where they usually frequents. a cafe that have a balcony that overlooks the busy streets of tokyo.

“she's back, shoko. alive and well.” shoko raises a brow at them. not believing them for a second but the looks from their faces told her another story. “how you know that. i hope you didn't forced her to meet you two.” the two remained silent and shoko rolls her eyes. “damn assholes you two, classic shit you two pulled again. didn't learn your lesson.” she commented.

“we have to, shoko. she won't meet us.” gojo complains to her. this fucker acts like you forced him. there's no saving these two and shoko wonders how long since she's been putting with these two's bullshit. “how did it go?” she asked, watching as the smoke dissipates in the air.

“she was crying.” suguru replied to her. “that's it? cause if i was her you two wouldn't be leaving that room alive after what you've done to her. hadn't you ruined her life enough?” this is shoko and shoko ieri doesn't beat around the bush.

suguru chuckles. watching his reflection in his cup of tea. “harsh, shoko. we just wanted to patch things up.”

shoko paused. “patch things up? you're more stupid than what i think of.”

he smiles and suguru thinks of you earlier. close he is to you and all he can think is that face of yours. crying and that tears streaming down your face. sick he is for thinking but it sure dig some buried feelings. the softness of your body in his fingertips and hearing your voice again it made him sick. that he just wants you to be his again.

“any advice, sho?” satoru asks her out of the blue.

“my advice is to leave her alone. she doesn't need another reminder of you two.”

“she's working in my company.”

“ha-ha. deep shit you are. life seems you to bring you three closer huh?”

and shoko squashed the cigarette in the ash tray. “i won't meddle in this shit you two are digging. friends we are but you are crossing a line. leave her alone.” shoko warns them before glancing at her watch. “you're keeping me here longer and my break's about to finish. see you two again.” shoko left them. her white lab coat disappearing as she turned a corner.

satoru missed you. even forcing you to accepting the terms earlier it did gave him hope to get closer to you again. feel you and touch you without the stuff they been doing to you when they're young and stupid. it won't be easy. he knows that and what's his money and influence if he can't get you. he was willing to sacrifice things. just say the word and he's going to give it.

they all have one thing running in their minds that day and the days to come. you. it was only you.

FOR THE EYES THAT CANNOT SEE

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

chapters one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ content warnings angst, talks about trauma, lots of crying, ooc characters.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ notes i'm losing ideas.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ taglist: @missakward123 @lupitalove @i00bear @socialanxietyvictim @tourmalxine @labelt-san @ghostlyworld @kashxyou @chiiiiiiiiiiifuuuuuuuu @cute-sucker @skii-high @boyimjustaloserforyourlove @jossayuuu @bubblesandsand1-0 @ply4vnce @witchymermaid12 @luna-v-roiya @mariyumemi @sinfullygay @higurumapet @kvk6433gkcigv @s-j320 @bts-skz @imcreepininyourheartbabe @hazzelle-kento @cashcadaver @n1vi @kiruupon @vebbiewuzhere @its-princessmara @ssetsuka @unicornqueen05 @idkwhattfimdoinghere2 @sunnytyun @tomriddles-wh0re @ya-mamaaaaa @wateriswhatiam @red-writes @saltyladyflower @greyclouq @bahurani @lovayle @okayiamkassandra @sealikesushi @sanzuandmikey @spicana @luvsymai @uniquenicefangirl @ushijimaschubbs @lansy-4 @aesonsgirl @eggieshiteru @jellibean2018 @uchihabucketlist @sunaemoby @cupidscourt @divinedolliebun @rottmntrulesall @mmeharuno @sleighter @haesify @desperadaparasapagmamhal @ichikanu @daytej @0honeylemonade @definetlythinkimanalien @thulhu @mastermasterlist1p1

you got closure and it was rewarding as it was painful

it was unreal.

the light coming from the florescent is the only of lightning in suguru's office. the tallest floor of his now owned building overlooks the whole city of tokyo. white, orange and purple lights are like small dots from where you are. the picturesque view of the city and the honking of cars are like a pin dropping and you staying in your former bully's office.

this wasn't your ideal way of being with him. left alone in close doors and it was like walking in a trap you know and he says he wants to spend time with you. know you and make up for the wrongdoings. the way he put it is demanding. “i won't force you if you don't want to.” is what he said to you and it was like a another being impersonating geto from the way he talks but it was really him. you forgot he was charming and have a natural appeal that got people being attracted to him when he speaks and plus his good look. geto suguru is devilishly handsome. long jet black hair, purple eyes that glints in mischief and a body that is sculpted by the gods themselves.

your fuller fingers caress the stack of papers. geto said he could use your expertise in the field he was running. it was an excuse. you know that. geto suguru can do anything and he just needed you alone. you glanced at the table in where he's positioned from his standing. the black and grey decorations gave the impression of a minimal and yet cool aesthetic reflecting his personality but what really caught your eyes is the picture frame placed behind the pens.

it was you and him.

you vaguely remember where and when was that picture taken. a smile to your face and his in front of the ocean blue beach. you in a lilac sundress and him in a button down white shirt. you fight yourself from tearing up by blinking your eyes rapidly. it was like you were a newly awakened coma patient and you're seeing a life that you used to have but you cannot remember it.

sensing him behind you, you faked a cough before turning around to face him. “i finished it.” you said to him and he smiles. one thing you noticed is his eyes closed when he smiles. “thanks, (y/n).” you unconsciously sat in the end of his table and before you can apologize after realizing his body traps you where you're forced to sit longer that you wanted to and your palms are planted in his desk.

“don't.” you whispered above your breath. your eyes closed and turning your head to the side and he hums. his forehead pressed against yours and your head moved to face him before opening your eyes and you see the color of his eyes properly. you weren't given the chance cause the last time you see it you were crying. vision too blurry to make out what colors of his eyes are. in closer inspection. the iris are black and his corneas are the mix of dark violets and black with white to make the color of his eyes clearer. for some reason, you think his eyes are created by a painter who struggled to mix his colors right and he comes accidentally with the color of suguru's eyes.

he smell of spices. cardamon and cloves mix and that heady scent of cedar. you avoided the smell. it brought you unwanted memories during the times you desperately needed to forget. anything that remind you of them.

“i'm not the person who i was three years ago.” his breath hitting your face and a tear slip. you hold your breath momentarily and let it go. “you may not be the person three years ago but to me you still are. why suguru? why?” he withdraws his forehead away from you. held your cheeks with his hands and looks straight in your eyes.

“i wanted to control you.”

you let out a shaky breath. closing your eyes and it tears comes rolling after being triggered by being squeezed by your eyelids. “control? and it tickled yours and satoru to reduce me into nothing but dirt. you seen me out of the thousand students that walked that gate and it was me you choose to?” your voice is soft. repeating the words before you choked a sob. reaching for his shirt and grabbing it. pulling it that it might tear at any moment and then good. it was time for him to get his clothes ripped. “the control you both wanted over me cost me my life, suguru. my tears are just like rain drops to you two.” your tears are uncontrollably falling and you were still clutching his shirt. the fabric were still holding on and you were just weak.

he takes a step back forward. letting you assault him and it can get your system to pour all the hatred that engraved to you caused by him and satoru. he was really the worst.

he can't offer you relief when he was the one who caused it and so he did what he can. pulling you closer to him and feel the softness of your body in him. the curses stringing from your lips are all can he hear as he holds the back of your head as you cried in his shirt. he dies a little inside from it. if he can go back in time, he would be nicer to you and avoided of all the wrongdoings he did to you. he will treat you right, love you right and did things that can make you fall in love with him. guess he can never do that to you.

by the time you were done, you were still crying your eyes out from the stupid answer. they choose you. an insecure, fat bitch. the world comes spinning and you can say people like them really boosted their egos when it comes tormenting you. they won out of the abuse you got from the people who viewed you differently. a mad, mad, mad world for you.

life really hated you.

“i need to go.” nodding your head like a robot while you wipe your eyes filled with tears with your palms. you shushed him before he can speak. “i just needed closure and i guess i got it. don't worry i'm not going away. you can say i'm a masochist. i kept coming for more.” and with that you spun your heels and walked away from him. leaving him thinking what person you turned out to be. destroyed with no salvation and it's all their fault. his mind says he needed to let you go just like you did but you're here and his greedy mind tells him. he still can have you. no matter the circumstances are.

you got the same answer from satoru and they were really the best of friends.

“wow.” you muttered. staring back at him and satoru is clearly in discomfort. “guess what, satoru? suguru also said that. i'm really lucky.”

“(y/n).....” his words are trailing and his voice too. going from being slowly hushed. “no, don't. i got my answers and that's what i really need, satoru. really.” you bravely told him. convincing him that it was fine and you wanted to forget the past. “i can move on now, satoru.”

“but i cannot say all is forgiven.” you softly said to him.

gojo marvelled at what you said. a grave offense to you and you were still the one he knew with the heart of gold. it may not the forgiveness he may be wanting but it's good. he can still make up for it. patch things up with you. this time he won't fuck it up.

a back to back conversation with your former bullies did a number to you. your eyes are swollen from crying too much. you submitted a leave request in which you are glad for them accepting it quickly. you needed to think all of it and the course of your plans will go. you have the closure for yourself and you needed to hear their voices.

you pick your phone. quickly dialing the number of a close friend, haibara. it doesn't take a second before he returned you call. his bubbly voice sending you comfort. instantly bringing a smile to your face.

“hey, (y/n)!”

“hi, yu!”

you hear voices in the background. the little ones you left home. haibara temporarily gave you details about what happened and then you paused before speaking.

“how are my boys doing, yu?”

fav color , fav food ? :) any genre u like ( music)

i live in the color of black and blue and the food noodles, any kind. alternative rock and jpop is my go-to nonnie. what about you?

to that anon, wanting. please dm me.

I just love the new chapter😫 I can’t wait to see the reactions from satoru and suguru🤭

thank you, nonnie. it might be delayed.

i lobe you please donf die

i lobe you too