Oh My God, I Just Read Your Nanami Ff. And I Just, I Love It He Is So Pookie Bear.

Oh my god, I just read your Nanami ff. And I just, I love it 😍😍😍 he is so pookie bear.

yes! nanami is so soft and gentle with you that makes your body turn into goo from his touches and what could we ask for more?

just take precaution. nanami could be so rough with us when placed in a bad mood and we like that.

— OUT OF CONTROL

ENTRY #008 OF SHAISUKI'S KINKTOBER 2023

FT. GOJO SATORU + OVERSTIMULATION

— refers to a state where an individual experiences an excessive or overwhelming level of sexual arousal, stimulation, or sensation.

• pairing: gojo satoru x chubby reader

• content warnings: dubcon,overstimulation, multiple orgasms

proceed with caution. never approach the man who's looking the combination of dark and crazy.

perhaps you were still unfamiliar with gojo.

he could be quite unpredictable. that's an understatement. he surprises you in many ways and standing in front of him. there is like another version of himself you have yet to unravel.

his blindfold hangs into his neck, the blues in his eyes shimmering more than ever while it stares at you. he seems conflicted like there is a hidden turmoil deep inside him.

“satoru?” you asked unsure, your voice wavering a bit. unsure of how you will approach him. he stayed silent. heavy footsteps echoing in the room as it draws closer to you and it was too late before you could react. he swiftly pounces into you. pushing you into the soft duvet of your bed.

putting his legs in the side of your torso. your wrists pinned above your head with only a hand and the other holds the pudge in your stomach.

“did something happen?” he remains silent. it's unlike for hm to be this quiet. stressed? a bad day at work? you don't know.. he's vocal with his problems being discussed to you. your heart quickens it's beat. unused to the placidity of his behavior he was displaying. one thing you knew about him? he is never quiet.

you take in to the sight of his features above you. his white hair swaying gently, framing his face. his pink full lips — perfect shaped nose and those eyes — the universe encased in those eyes of him. there is no trace of flaw on them. gojo satoru is perfect.

slender fingers danced at the top of your blouse. his attention on them. you felt cornered. trapped — from his lack of response. then his eyes met yours.

“i missed you.” he mutters and then the buttons of your blouse went flying — followed by the sound of clothes being ripped.

“n-no more...” you stammer out. your eyes closing and fluttering open as you feel another tingling sensation erupts in your system. your cunt clenching around his lenght but he didn't stop from the onslaught of his cock pounding to your pussy.

“it's fine baby. you can take more.” he assures, groaning at the sensation of your walls that is wrapped around him. his hands gripping like a vice to your wide hips. hypnotized by the movements of you body swaying in rhythm to his ministrations. he didn't stop. engrossed by your tight pussy clasping around him. he's unstoppable.

a hue of flushed pink dusted in his pale skin, sweat beads to his forehead from the exertion of his hips violently snapping into yours with no regards of your pleas. his breath coming in pants. huffing and panting. rapidly flowing in his mouth. he's frenzied. it's rare for him to get so worked up. you've never seen him like this before. a man possessed. occupied by your warmth and the feeling of your skin against his.

one after another and then another. you lost count of how many time he made you cum. tears springing down in your eyes. your body jitters and spasms. begging for you to stop but with his strength. it's impossible.

“'toru, can't do it anymore.” your voice broken from too much moaning and the whimpers you managed to croak out. your nails digging crescent shaped denting to his skin as you grabbed his arm.

he shakes his head — ears deaf to your please as you whine and beg for him to stop. emptying another load deep inside you. it continued for awhile. you were in the brink of passing out from a another bliss bubbling in your stomach. letting out a silent scream as your orgasm washes over you.

your breathing labored — you tried to call for his name again. “s—satoru...” your voice barely audible.m

when your hold to him loosen and the same time he shoots his hot, sticky cum inside you — breaks him in his stupor. chest heaving, slow pants can be heard as he peppers kisses to your cheeks.

“are you okay, pretty?.” he murmurs, his lips grazing to your skin. he's not yet to pull out. “yeah. what's gotten into you, 'toru?” you asked.

“nothing.” he replies, pressing a kiss to your lips and then another and another. turning into a full blown deepening of the kiss. you can taste yourself in his mouth from earlier session of him making you cum from his mouth and to his fingers.

soft pecks of lips are bestowed to each other. your fingers running through his soft, white hair.

“you're still inside me, 'toru?” you murmured in his lips, his breath fanning into yours and then the corners of his mouth curls upward and your breath hitched.

“one more.”

just thinking about riding nanami with his leopard print tie hanging around your neck. he would go absolutely mad from it. his tie between your pretty tits bouncing with each thrusts. he's feral and it's his new favorite position. you and his tie? perfection.

you ride him naked with the exception of his tie hanging around your neck. your thick legs in the side of his torso while you roll your hips. grinding and rolling while your fat pussy swallows his cock whole. he watches you with those brown eyes of his. watch as your body jiggles and bounces with every sway of your hips and nanami drinks at the sight like the finest wine he had tasted.

he's still dressed in blue-button dress shirt. the first few unbuttoned like it was hot and it was getting difficult for him to breath which is true. his chubby wife riding him with nothing but his tie and his cock twitches every time he looks at it.

his left hand rests on your thick thigh squished like a seal on the dry land. feeling the cool metal of his watch while the other hand is brushing to the rolls of your stomach. folded like a dough and his finger grazes of it. adoring each stretch marks like lightning while it slowly creeps up above to where his tie rest before curling it around his thick fingers.

he loves every minute of it. your breathless whines and moans music to his ears. your body in top of him and he just wants it to stay, always. milking his cock until it runs dry or preferably while you warm his cock.

ughh. nanami and his obsession with his two favorite. his neckties and you. combine it and he's one happy and contented man.

PIECE BY PIECE

HUSBAND! GETO SUGURU X CHUBBY READER

content warnings ─── smut, injuries, smut, riding, cunnilingus, children and a baby, pregnancy, body worship.

─── first chapter. second chapter.

ᝰ synopsis .ᐟ it may took too long but suguru is determined you will never experience the same pain again.

suguru always looks forward in coming home after a long day. how couldn't he miss home when he knows there is you who will always be waiting for him along with the two angels he have with you.

tonight, it was different. he couldn't stand seeing your face still scarred from the pain his dear friend had done to you. he's true to his words. he won't lament over a friendship that built him and only to destroy after committing such repugnant deed to you. geto wouldn't exchange you for any thing in the world.

he must be strong for you. he was in pain and so was you. when he came home that night. he knew something was up. you weren't there. no matter how late he came home you would always be seated in the couch where you waited for him. offering him a plate of food or whatever he wants at that time and you'll give it to him. there was silence and coldness in the air. you must be asleep the first thing he thought and he went to your shared bedroom but you weren't there and then he went to the twins's bedroom. you were there. the girls curled up to you and he went to approach you.

the first thing he noticed is the dried tears in your cheeks. you must have cried yourself to sleep but why? he didn't think anything about it. you must be exhausted and he leaves it that way.

he thought it was normal and the days went bleak. your behavior changed and you were irritated than the usual. the final straw was with you snapping with the twins and panicking from your sudden outburst.

when he confronted you that night. his heart broke, shattering in million pieces when you cried. apologizing all over again from the shame you made him feel. blaming yourself from the weakness for not being able to defend yourself. the worst— his best friend, the man he called a brother did that to you. it was worst than betrayal.

when he made sure, satoru understood where he was coming from. he never looked back again. not needing for the man who was worst than a monkey to violate you.

“suguru.” the call of his name from his dear wife made everything disappear. you stood there watching him walk towards you and the first thing you noticed is his bloody knuckles.

it stings with every dab of cotton touching his skin but it could never compare to the pain in his heart while he watches you gently patch his wounds. how could someone hurt you.

such tenderness in your fingers while you applied a salve to heal his wounds faster. grasping your hands in his and place a soft kiss to them while looking at you. your eyes turned glossy and a broken smile is given to him

“i'm sorry for hurting you, suguru.” you began and the tears came rolling down to your cheeks.

“you could never hurt me.” wiping the tears in your cheeks and pressing a kiss to your forehead. he would die just to see you happy again.

late is the night but sleep never visited you both. tangled in the sheets with suguru looking at you from above. his thumb drawing circles in the back of your hand. there are things that remained unsaid.

“suguru.” you called out to him. sitting up to face him a shaky sigh leaving your lips.

“what is it?” leaning on the headboard to fully look at you. the curtains move like waves from the breeze outside. the moonlight shining through the windows and hitting you with a glow that knocks the breath out of him.

he had never seen such ethereal being in front of him and it was you. his wife, the mother of his children and the love of his life.

you bit your lips, grasping the hem of your nightgown and your lips quiver. you look at the man in front of you. his long, jet black hair cascading to his back and a strand of his hair falling in his face. you could never trust anyone again except him and you were afraid he would reject you after that but you swallowed the fear.

“can i kiss you?”

suguru almost melted at your request. staring at him with your doe-like eyes. he let out a sigh. you were going to be the death of him.

“come here. you can kiss me anytime you want, baby.” he watch you slowly crawl to him. tentatively touching him but suguru wants all of you. there was hesitation. your lips twitches and you look at his eyes then to his lips.

he needs to be patient. if this is the only way for you to accept him again, physically. he hears you swallow then your letting out a shaky breath fanning the skin of his lips. closing your eyes and then pressing your lips in his.

it was the first kiss in weeks. suguru savored it like it was the first time he kissed you on one rainy night. on the day you both vowed to stay with each other with death's the only way to separate you both. it was warm and gentle. a first act of bravery despite fear winning.

you slowly backed away, looking at him through lidded eyes and his lips soon followed. chasing your lips with his. his hands on your back while soft pecks of each other's lips are being exchanged.

slowly but surely, you were starting to bloom again in front of him. what tenderness turned into desperation. the sound of lips smacking resonating in the room. lips being sucked by the other with tongues yet to dance.

what seconds felt like forever, not wanting to end with the temporary escape. a whimper escapes your lips and suguru worried, opens his eyes and he can see your tears freely flowing. this is an escapade—a place to lose your fears.

cupping your face with his hand and you stopped kissing him. you didn't realize you were crying when his thumb came to wipe the tears. caressing your cheeks lovingly and you stare at his eyes. placing your hands in the back of his hand.

“you're safe with me. i'm not letting anyone harm you again.” he said, pressing his forehead to yours.

“i know. make me forget, suguru. i don't want to spend my days living in fear, of being scared. i'm sorry if i'm being selfish. i only want to be with you and with the children, sugu.” you sob and suguru kisses your nose and then your forehead. it is never selfish when you want something. geto would never call it selfish coming from you.

“i also want to be with you, (y/n). if you'll allow me.”

no words were said when your lips connected again. this time it's full of desperation and wanting for each other. tongues dancing and the tiny moans escaping your lips.

wanting to feel closer to you, suguru grabbed your hips. pulling you to him. your soft body pressed against his hard ones. your fingers tangled in his hair.

when air becomes a problem, you were forced to break the kiss. panting softly in each other's mouth.

it's been long since he touched you like this. to be close like you were molded for each other. feeling each other's warmth, the taste of each other's lips. how your lips fits like a puzzle in his and how you filled the hole in his heart. showing him with unconditional love despite his wrongdoings in the past.

“you are no exception when it comes to love, suguru. we're all amateurs when we love and surely we can teach each other to love.”

he remembers you saying that out of the blue. the times where things got shaky. you didn't leave him. stayed with him when things got rough and at that time, the very moment. suguru have never been so sure that you will be the person he's going to spend the rest of his life with you.

he began to kiss you in your cheek then going under to your soft jaw. nibbling in the skin and then to your neck. inhaling your scent that leaves him addicted with the scent and taste of you.

hissing when you unconsciously grinds your hips in his crotch. his cock coming to life from the ministrations. biting the juncture of your neck.

“suguru...” you moaned out. your body tingling from his lips alone. “i got you—doing well for me, baby.” he groans. his hands holding the hem of your nightgown but he stops so. unsure that you aren't ready for the next step.

noticing his hesitation, you held his hand. kissing his palm, “it's fine, suguru. it's you. i don't mind.” you murmur, the vibrations of your voice sending shivers down his spine and the sincerity almost drowns him. making him love you more than ever.

his hands run through your neck and then to straps of your nightgown. pulling it down until skin is exposed. the nightgown pooling in your waist. licking the exposed skin, to your chest, to the fullness of your breast. they're getting bigger again. a sign of life growing inside you. catching the hardened in his mouth, your fingers tangling in his finger pressing his head to your chest while he suckles on your hardened bud. mewling with each suck and his tongue swiping to the area surrounding your nipple. your fingers running through his hair and you whined.

“sugu, you're still clothed.” geto chuckles, unlatching his mouth to your bud to remove his sweater but you stopped him wanting to do it and geto lets you. holding the edges of his sweater before pulling them up to remove them and throwing it to the side.

you were blessed by the sight of his hardened muscles. his pectoral muscles popping and his biceps showing the years of his youth and suguru is nothing but handsome with a body carved by the gods.

suguru wraps his arm around you, resting it above your butt while the other holds your back, his palm cradling your head before changing your positions. placing you on the bed while he towers over you.

pulling him to kiss him which he gladly returns. rubbing his arms while he pulls down your nightgown, followed by his sweatpants. his long hair tickling your shoulders while your tongues clashed with each other. there's a pop before his lips returned to pepper your skin with his kisses. putting attention to your round stomach.

pregnant with his child once again. suguru could have killed gojo with no second thought if his child inside you gets harmed. he could never forgive himself. he knows how miscarriage in women deeply affects someone when losing the child and he can't put you in pain again.

getting a confirmation from you with a nod, he slowly parts your legs. his head taking a dive between them. nipping the supple skin of your thick thighs until his breath is close to your pussy.

wrapping his arms around your thighs, you hold his hair. preventing stray hairs from disturbing him while he eats you out and suguru smirked at your action.

licking a stripe in your slit, geto is rewarded by the prettiest moan coming from your mouth. your back arching and geto holds your thighs to prevents you from backing away from him. your thighs tremble with every swipe of his tongue skillfully lapping at your folds. catching the slick that drops with the flick of his tongue. “'m close, su—o-ohhh—fuck” you curses out. grinding your cunt to his mouth and geto gladly laps it out. his tongue working wonders to make you cum, moaning at your taste and with a suck to your clit. you came undone, your body shaking from the tremors of your orgasm and geto is no stranger from your fast orgasm. knowing how well pregnancy affected you and this isn't the first time. fascinated the first you came when you were pregnant with the twins.

when suguru rises from between your legs, ready to take you. seeing how hard he is and the tip of his cock drips with pre-cum.

“wanna ride you—suguru.” and he obliged. worshipping you in all glory why you used him for your pleasure. leaning against the headboard while you straddled him. putting your full weight on top and he didn't mind the weight. it's a welcoming feeling for him that after what happened he was still yours. creating an effort to mend the rift.

he holds your hips, guiding you to lower to his length. hissing when you slowly sink to his cock. stretching you out and stuffing you full. this one is gentle, no force behind them.

you hold his hand, marvelling how his hands holds you with such tenderness, the hands who made you feel loved and important when everything fails to make you believe that you were important. the hands who held you tightly with no intention of letting you go. the same hands who can snapped someone's neck without breaking a sweat, who could throw a fist without hesitation are holding you with such care like you're a fragile glass that will break at the smallest touch.

“i love you so much, suguru.”

“i love you too.”

geto never knew he could love someone like he loves you. with every moan, the whimpers coming from your mouth, the mewls from every thrust and the way you call his name. your skin flushed against his while he pants your name.

in this state of bliss where nothing could hurt you, lost in the pleasure of being close with to each other. in this world where you two own anything. a world to forget everything.

suguru held you tightly that night. cradles your soft body while he pets your head. kissing your forehead repeatedly. the damage is still there but slowly—baby steps he says. you will slowly heal and when the time comes it was just a bad dream. he will pick every broken pieces of yourself. piece by piece.

he places a palm in his stomach with hope blooming in his chest. in the next months, another addition to the family he have with you will soon come and he looks forward to that. a new hope for him and to you. a new beginning. you two can start again.

a chubby baby boy crawls towards him with the roundest cheeks, chunky legs and arms and the most prominent features, the softest tuft of black hair and it's eyes. it crinkles with every coo and babble while it's hands tried to grab him. it's the spitting image of him.

a son you gave birth to . bringing a new blessing in the family, after the twins. mimiko and nanako gazes at their baby brother with such adoration. they've been wishing for a sibling before their baby brother came.

their baby ryuuji, a baby with the brightest smile, with the cutest laughter and a headstrong baby.

“ryuuji~” you coo at your baby and it laughs. drool escaping the corners of his mouth and you smile at your child.

“mama! i want to hold ryuuji.” nana calls you out. ecstatic to hold his baby brother.

“me too, mama! papa, please!” mimi chimes in.

“okay, you two. careful with ryuuji.”

they enthusiastically wave their arms. sitting in the floor ready to hold their brother. they both cooed with a whispers they were going to be a good, big sisters to him.

suguru presses a kiss to your forehead. grateful for the all the things you gave to him. children who loves both of you and you, a wife, his partner for life.

what's past is never to look back in. no matter how sentimental it is for someone like him. all he ever need was in front of him.

GODSEND TO HIM, A SIN FOR THE OTHER

GETO SUGURU x CHUBBY READER

content warnings ─── noncon, established relationship, blood and violence, pregnancy, kids (reader and geto have kids), heavy angst, best friend! gojo, flashbacks, jealousy, no curses au, alcohol consumption, dead dove not eat.

─── first chapter. last chapter.

ᝰ synopsis .ᐟ for every mistake, punishment takes place.

some things are meant to be hidden. a secret. someone should not dwell with. it's the way to keep things as they are. the most successful things are built in lies — it's better this way. relationships are no exceptions in this unwritten rule. after all, the most successful marriages are built in lies.

that's how you did it. not wanting to risk all the hard work you both built for this life, for this family. never letting the monster get in the way. you kept it. swallow the humiliation you had to endure. try to keep the relationship with your husband to keep afloat. you need to be strong. for the good of all.

geto knew something was up. the moment your smiles wouldn't reach your eyes. the layers of clothing. the mood swings. the fleeting intimacies that you gave to him. everything was forced. he didn't pry it at first. not wanting to upset you and sooner or later you'll open up to him, like you always do but there's always the breaking point which you could never pretend in front of him.

fights among siblings let alone twins is nothing out of ordinary considering they were growing up. exploring and knowing their feelings are considered to be part of understanding things and with the patience and with some comforting words where you would break the twins for fighting and explain what they truly felt and will apologize for hurting the others. that was your approach in teaching the twins to be humble and geto would watch. feeling proud and lucky for having you, raising the children with love.

that's what you are not until you've raised your voice. irritation evident in your voice making the twins stop fighting with each other and tears pooling at the corner sof their eyes. realizing what you have done, horror painting the expression in your face. immediately kneeling in front of the twins and scooping them into a hug.

“i'm sorry nana, mimi. mama never meant it, kay? i'm sorry. i'm sorry.” you apologized over and over again. the twins burying their faces in your shoulders while you try to soothe the two. you never mean it.

geto watch the scene unfold in front of him. it's like you were different. never did he expect for you to snap at them and the seeing you panicking. uneasiness creeps up on him. it's time for him to interfere. it looks like you aren't opening up to him soon.

he finds you in the kitchen washing the dishes. seeing you distressed and the need to talk to you without the twins around, he decided to drop the kids to his parents. they were bothering him for awhile to spend the time with their grandkids and it was the right time.

turning off the faucet, he kisses the side of your head. bringing you back to what you're supposed to be doing. “let me take care of this, i'll join you in bed after this.” he assures you and you nod. there's a squeeze in his chest. you didn't even bother to call his name, not a kiss bestowed upon him. usually you would stop what you were doing, dry your hands in the apron and turns around to hug him and place the sweetest kiss in his lips and you will call his name cutely. telling how much you've missed him but today — no, it's been days and in that moment geto knew there is something bothering you.

you didn't bother to acknowledge his presence, curled up in the side of your bed.

“hey.” he murmurs. his lips ghosting over your exposed skin in your neck. his hair drapes in your shoulder while he places his arm in your stomach and the others pats your hair softly. he only receives a brush of your shoulder hitting his chest and it frustrates him but he never let it control him. knowing that it would turn worse. he sighs.

“what's wrong?”

“there's nothing wrong, suguru.”

turning your head to prove your point but never meeting his gaze.

“there is if you're treating me like this. if this is about you getting upset over the twins, i understand. tell me, please. i couldn't bear to see you acting this way.” he reasoned with his most calm voice. trying for you to open up with him.

“it's not about the twins and i told you there is nothing wrong.” you retorted. you still didn't face him. remaining motionless and geto, he shouldn't be forcing you but he needs to know. he can't let this end today. not wanting to see you pretending in front of him.

“nothing's wrong? and if there is nothing wrong look me in the eyes and tell me nothing is wrong.” holding your cheek while he grabs your shoulder to face him.

“sugu, please don't. i don't want to talk about it. please.” you begged, your voice starting to crack and given your husband's strength. he instantly made you face him.

“just tell me and it would be over. i won't bother you again.” his voice soft, one of the times he oftens used after arguments.

you shake your head and you can't bring yourself to look at him straight in the eyes. you couldn't look. knowing that his loving gaze with trust and devotion swirling in those hues of purple in his eyes.

when you dared to look at his eyes. this is the first time you've looked at him. he was sort of relieved but is short lived when your eyes turned glossy and droplets of tears began to pour out from your eyes.

his eyes widening upon seeing your tears. he never seen you cry this much. this tears it was different. like it was building inside you, waiting for it to break and this is the time.

“he—"

“i'm sorry. i'm sorry— i—i—” your voice cracks and you began sobbing. crying your eyes out.

it broke his heart. knowing how heavy whatever burden you were carrying for these last days.

“you don't need to apologize. i apologize for forcing you.” he assures you while he holds you in his arms. letting you cry out in his chest.

“n—no. i betrayed you. i don't want to ruin, — i don't want you to blame yourself. h-he....”

he? did he hear that right. you were beating yourself up. what are you talking about betraying him and blaming himself. he needs to know more.

“i—i was waiting for you to come home. i was going to tell you that i—” there's a brief pause, finding the right words to tell him. you hesitate for a moment before continuing. “i'm pregnant.” your voice barely above whisper.

he didn't know if he should be happy or sad or be excited at the revelation. he's somehow happy, you were carrying his child again after being blessed with twins and geto is grateful for it. another bundle of joy gracing his life with you again. this moment should be celebrated, worship you with what he have to offer to you he would but the tears and you distraught tells another story. he wouldn't know this if he didn't press the matter with you.

flinching away from him. acting like you being pregnant is the biggest mistake in his whole life. clutching your stomach in an attempt to comfort yourself.

“you're pregnant and you're only telling me right now? why?” he's lost for words. his large palms cupping your round cheeks. droplets of tears rolling.

there is another kind of heartbreak seeing his wife hurt and broken. treating him like he wasn't your place of comfort, to make you feel safe.

“i got scared after what happened.” another fresh batch of tears cascades down your cheeks.

“i don't want to hurt you and be the reason for everything falling out with you.” you sob. every word coming out from your mouth made it impossible to breath.

he holds the sides of your head to look up to him. “and you think beating yourself is the only way to avoid hurting me? i don't care if you'll hurt me, tell me the truth. who's the fucker who harmed you?” he sternly asked.

shaking your head while you blink back the tears. not wanting to remember the night he defiled you in your own home.

geto had the idea of who is it but brushed the idea. believing that he could never do it to you. to him. holding the suspicion until you confessed everything to him.

“it's not your fault. please (y/n). tell me.”

“i thought it was you, he came in drunk. i told him to wait for you and for him to sober up, i went to make him coffee and h-he crept up on me. i pushed him but he didn't back away.”

more tears came streaming down your face and your words barely coherent. you tried to hide it but it was too heavy for you to carry and not having the strength to face him the next day. you braced yourself for him to push you, blame you for you own weakness. you continued to tell him despite the pain.

“i told him— i'm with child.” your voice barely a whisper, holding your stomach and geto looks over to your plump belly.

his jaw clenching from the anger. for failing to protect you but there's more worst to come and he wishes he didn't ask more.

“did he—”

“he stopped—i —i thought it was over. i thought he was sobering up and he told me how he tried for you to cheat on me and—a—and—.....”

he can't even fathom where to begin. he never needed the name to know. you were frightened, scarred to utter the name you deeply hated.

your body shakes, not even his touches could calm you down and the pieces finally putting in place together. you were more scared of him. the apologies repeating like a broken record.

did he put too much faith on his best friend to believe he would never hurt you. where is the friend he could call his brother. never did he thought he was capable of doing this to you.

“i tried to stop him, begged him. i was afraid the twins will wake up and he'll hurt them. i'm so sorry, suguru. i'm sorry.”

he didn't say anything. placing his hand in the back of your head to place into his chest while you cried. the endless tears soaking his shirt but he didn't care. he felt pathetic. leaving you alone to fend for yourself. using yourself to protect his children with you when it is his responsibility to protect his family from harm.

he didn't know if he can forgive himself nor the man whom he treated like a brother.

it was the first breath of spring. a time for new beginnings. a start for everything. he was freshman at that time and so is geto suguru.

they were inseparable. gojo came from a family made of old money and geto came from a humble family. despite that it didn't hinder the bond forming between them. they have each other's back despite their differences.

polar opposites they were. gojo knows how he holds the world in his hands and he takes it for granted. doesn't mean he didn't care for others. it's just how the world works in his and he accepted that. geto on the other hand lived in justice. the saviour in everyone's eyes but it's not charity work. it's for the things he deemed what's right.

they had fallouts too. it's the times where their ideologies clashed. in the end they come to terms of it, like siblings after every fight. then slowly but surely they were like the brothers they never had.

gojo remembers the first time you came into the picture. you weren't special for him and definitely to suguru. he knows suguru like the back of his hand and you were not exactly his type. he was sure you were just going to be another extra in their lives and it will stay that way.

fate begs to differ. when he noticed geto changed. not entirely changed but the way he talks about you like he found a new purpose in his life. the saving grace in his life. he witnessed it all. what he thought was temporary became permanent. it was sudden but accepted it nonetheless.

you fell first but suguru fell harder.

one night in a bar where clinking of glasses can be heard and music booming throughout the room. they sat reminiscing their high school lives and college.

things changed but you remained in their lives. in suguru's life — in his world. you became a part of his world but becoming the world to suguru would be more befitting.

“suguru. you've changed.” gojo started, downing his drink.

geto raised a brow at him and chuckles.

“she got you bad, huh?"

“she's perfect.” geto replied. looking at his reflection in the glass.

gojo tried to find what's special to you that got his friend smitten to you. you're kind of pretty? nothing out of the ordinary.

being suguru's girlfriend meant he sees you more than often then it begins to see you in a different light and it became clear why suguru loves you more than anything in the world.

you became suguru's confidant in everything. the one who fought by his side through trials and tribulations. the light in his darkest days. his hope when everything fails. the one who understood him. the only person who can easily turn his world upside down and pulls the most genuine of smiles from him.

and it crossed in his mind. he wants that too. gojo satoru who have everything wanted the thing he could never have. you.

he tried to find it, someone like you but with no such luck he didn't find it. they were always the same. women who wants nothing but only the pleasure of his company and his wallet.

he wants you but how could he have you when your heart belongs to someone else and suguru have it.

then the green-eyed monster had shown its face. he swore he's not jealous. he wants suguru happy and that's enough but it never was.

maybe he can steal you from him. that never happened not when suguru had informed him the biggest decision of his life.

the second suguru showed him the ring. it was over. suguru didn't need him to change his mind, convinced him that it's a bad decision.

“satoru, i want to spend the rest of my life with her.” is the last thing suguru said to him and he's transported with the newly married couple in front of him. never been happier that they could ever be.

years passed, he abandoned the idea. indulging himself with the pleasure and with the hope he'll find someone like you along the way. unfortunately, it continued the same.

when he arrived at that home, yours and suguru's. the feelings surfaced again. even though you're now married and a mother to suguru's children. how long he missed seeing your face again. your eyes full of life and hope, adoration evident in your face when you look at his best friend. oh how he wished you could look to him like that.

there are newly added trinkets in the living room. the pictures are familiar, considering he was there. the special events in your life with suguru. the wedding picture with a sonogram tucked inside the frame. twins. it's suguru's and yours. children you both call your own.

he feels the sensation of being stabbed in his chest the longer he stares at the picture and he wants to break it. before he could do anything he was called.

you weren't warming up to him. no matter what the occasion is, you kept your guard when he's present. the whispers and the conversations with suguru about him. how he presents himself to you like he hated you. if only you knew. you weren't to blame for it. the first impressions made an impact on both of your lives. not liking each other upon the first meeting and he understands it. there is a denial in everything and he's no exception of it. too late for him to realize he was falling for you.

when things don't favor him, gojo had this habit to indulge himself. a way for him to deal with the first of his failures in his life and for the first time it was heartbreak. blinded by his jealousy and the want to ruin everything. including his dearest best friend and his wife.

he knows he's a lightweight, when the alcohol draws fire in his throat he was dizzy. he didn't know where he was. he thinks he'll wake in a stranger's bed again and he's walking away where his body would take him and it brought him to you.

knocking at the door with no hesitation and he can hear the footsteps nearing the door and when it opened he stumbles. calling your name in a flirty way and guiding him to sit on the couch.

he sat there for awhile, trying to combat the intoxication. he sits still your voice waking him up and your scent it drives him crazy. good thing he didn't consume much — it's enough to keep his inhibitions and he's sobering slowly.

he stands up following you to the kitchen, he sees you grabbing a mug from the cupboard and his sick fantasies came up to him. seeing you all domestic and caring, he began to carry it out. his large arms wrapping around your plush waist and he buries his face in the crook of your neck. inhaling your scent like a husband would do after work, except he wasn't your husband, he's not suguru.

some fucking would be nice when you love him and you're eager to please him. it clearly wouldn't happen when you pushed him. the mug shattering into tiny pieces as you dropped it.

“come on, (y/n). is this how to treat your husband's buddy?” he coos while you slowly backed away from him. he steps forward, the sound of cracking resonates in the silence of your kitchen.

“suguru will be home soon, you should go now.” you warned to him but he ignores it.

“not for an another hour.” he smugly says. slapping the side of his head to shake the remnants of the alcohol in muddied brain. taking off his glasses and he sees you clearly.

the nightie you were wearing suits you. a pretty coal-colored highlighting your skin. the stretch marks visible and considering what you were wearing. suguru would come home in such a tempting delight which he'll gladly feasts on and he wishes it was meant for him.

when your back hit the wall behind you. he couldn't resist to touch you and the moment he did. you slapped him. he licks his lips. touching the spot where your hand came in contact with his cheek followed by a warn.

“don't touch me.”

he almost want to laugh. acting brave but under that false bravado of yours — you were scared.

the longer he stares at you, it reminds him that you were never his and an attempt to guilt you of things. his mouth opening to spite you.

“you know, suguru and i were unstoppable. we're wild, young and free...” holding his dark glasses and he sees his reflection. his blue eyes glimmering. looking back at you to tell all the things how they lived their life before you came.

“then you came, barging into suguru's life. i thought it wouldn't last. sugu's not one for commitments, you know. you were just going to be his plaything and then he fell for you, hard and then he's married you and heck, you even gave him twins.” he recalls how suguru changes the way he lived. putting efforts the things he didn't bother to do. how you occupied his mind with the thoughts lingering.

you ruined everything, you ruined suguru. he convinces himself that it was your fault and suguru could never back to the way he lived before you but it never was. he wants the life suguru have with you.

“i'm happy for him. truly. suguru's a lucky one, ain't he?” he doesn't mean it. he was never really happy for suguru no matter what.

he studied your expression, there was fear. he can almost hear your heart beating. his gaze following your sight while he speaks up. you were planning to get away from him.

“i'm not finished, (y/n).”

placing his hand in your shoulder which you immediately slapped. “i said don't touch me!” he didn't listen. finding your outburst rather adorable. this was the angry you.

he squeezes your shoulders rendering you freezing up. “i'm not jealous of suguru but seeing you two happy makes me want to destroy it.” he stares at you deeply.

caging you in his arms and you fear what will happen next. “satoru, please! the twins are sleeping upstairs!” cute. such a good mother you are. you were concerned for your children than your own being. it brings a scowl to his face. your children are another reminder of what he wanted.

you were on the verge of tears. looking back and forth to him and to the stairs. how would you look when you cry? the thought made him hard. his cock straining in his pants and you were so close to him.

his sight lowering to see your soft belly protruding in the nightie you were wearing. he places his palm in it. relishing the warmth and softness of it. the fertile womb you have to carry such healthy children. “suguru's blessed. a wife to come home to, a warm bed with you beside him, children who loves him and you.” placing his cold palm in your cheek in which upon the contact, you recoiled like he was disgusting.

you inhaled and exhaled. a attempt to calm yourself it seems. he was wrong. with all your strength you shove him. smart girl. he thought but he was fast. catching your hand but you pulled it fast enough to get away from him and you ran.

you were slow. in his long strides he immediately caught up to you. his large hand grabbing the back of your nightie and followed by a ripping sound. halting your speed making you trip and on instinct.

he traps you with his body. dwarfing you in size despite being bigger than other girls. pinning your arms beside your head to stop you from thrashing. he can't help but to break in a huge grin seeing you helpless under him.

“me and suguru used to share a lot in things. what's the difference when i'm having a taste of what's his?” leaning down to kiss you but you avoided it by moving your head to the side. ending with only kissing your cheek.

gojo was frustrated with this and when you screamed at him. he stopped, hearing the next words coming out from your mouth.

“stop it! I'm with child!” his grip loosens and then you started crying. removing himself from you and then you curled up to the side. covering your mouth with your hand to muffle the cries, the whimpers and hiccups escapes everytime you breathe.

he sat there, contemplating about his haste decisions. you have that effect to people — to men like him. losing their inhibitions when they fall for you. he peers at you behind the bangs of his hair. your body shook with every sob and whimper. this is what he have to ruin. you're a temptress and he should let you know the effect you have to suguru.

the times where he tried for suguru to betray you. tempting him with women whose close to perfection, who had more character than you, who have many things to offer more him. say the word and they'll bend on his will. geto remained unfazed with the women presented in front of him — he's fully aware of his charms to the opposite sex . a disinterested smile while he lights a cigarette. he got only eyes for you.

can suguru look at you the same when he takes you for him?

you look divine. like an angel for him to ruin. the strap of your nightie falls in your shoulder. your back exposed, the gash in your clothing adds the allure you have. the slip-up dress rides showing your creamy thighs. it's like you were meant for him but another man had to take you away.

he thinks of suguru. things will change definitely after this. he thinks of him. his dear wife sprawled on the floor — crying her eyes out from his own doings. what made him stop? it is because he's aware that you're pregnant and he couldn't do that to you or he's blinded by his own jealousy and realizing that he can't own everything. he didn't know, all he can think is you. he waited. he was patient the whole way. no one can ever make him feel the way you bewitched him.

he didn't care anymore.

and he did the unthinkable. his cold hands warming up from the contact of your warm skin. you immediately thrashed over him but he didn't stop. spreading your legs wide open to place himself between it. freeing his hardened cock to his pants to nest at your heat. you have the prettiest pussy he had ever seen. slick drips between them. he holds your wrists preventing from resisting him.

he swiftly entered inside you. groaning at the warmth of your velvety walls gripping him so sweetly. he stares at you while he fucks you. the tears falling like waterfalls while he continued to slip inside and out. he can't hear you pleading—only the involuntarily moans and whimper sounding so heavenly in his ears.

when he was sure you aren't going to fight him anymore, your plush stomach riddled with stretch marks and scars exposed to him. watching as it jiggles from his ministrations. his fingers digging at the softness of them without a care of the life growing inside you.

with a cunt so tight gripping his cock. it didn't take long for him to empty himself inside you. panting softly after the sweet release he had. he slips out of you. staring at your spent body with lust. he felt no remorse. he tasted you and it was worth the betrayal.

your body trembles while you press yourself to the wall. curling up like you accepted what he had done. his sight darting to the damaged nightie. picking it up to dress you. forcefully dressing you up.

he went to touch you but you screeched at him. yelling at him to get out. standing on wobbly legs and throwing a punch to him with all your might. it didn't hurt him. he allows you to punch until your legs gave up. kneeling in the cold floor while you hug yourself.

with no words and the deed done, he left. closing the door to leave you alone. he's numb up at this point. he can hear your cries merging with the cold wind blowing in the blue night.

“suguru, i love you. more than anything in the world.”

he laughs followed by a long sweet kiss to your lips when he heard that coming from you. scooping you in his arms as he spins you around. squealing and giggling the whole time.

“i love you too.” he says back and suguru felt he hit the jackpot when you smiled at him.

it seems like yesterday when you said that to him and it never changed. loving him with all your heart without asking anything to return. all in a night of confessions change in his outlook of life forever.

a wife's cry is equivalent to the fury for the husband. images of you crying keeps replaying in his mind. the anguish and the shame. blaming yourself for the helplessness you have shown for the best friend he calls.

he didn't understand why gojo would escalate into something like this. he needs to know why.

in situation where suguru needs to find gojo—there's only one place he frequented. a small bar located near the ends of the city. entering the bar he sees his friend. nursing a drink in one of the seats. the bartender drying glasses and pouring drinks for the other regulars.

geto sat beside him, he isn't the type to throw a punch without a reason and cause a scene with eyes watching around them. he don't want this extras to meddle with his own life — their lives.

“want to take this outside, satoru?”

“sure.”

they settled in a deserted park. no one will interfere and before anyone could speak. geto fist swung, colliding with satoru's cheek. the latter stumbles upon the contact. his glasses falling into the ground, showing his blue eyes. blood spilling in the corner of his mouth. his posture hunched and gojo shakes his head. spitting the blood.

geto didn't give him the time to recover swinging his fist again, hitting satoru again in the cheek. it was heavier than the first punch making him fall to the ground. his back hitting the grassy ground and geto holds his collar.

“what's your deal, satoru?” his voice dripping with venom and gojo didn't need to ask what this is all about.

“this isn't like you suguru, getting worked up for some woman.” gojo chuckles meeting suguru's bloodshot eyes raging with fury and geto punched him again.

“woman? the woman you are talking about is my wife, satoru. why the hell did you do that? answer me." pulling gojo by the collar of his shirt.

“i was drunk.” gojo reasoned. a poor excuse for defiling you.

“drunk? drunk enough to creep up to my wife and force her? she's begging for you to stop and what did you do? you violated her! made her feel that it was her fault that it happened that you can't control yourself!” geto's eyes narrowed.

gojo inhaled sharply before exhaling. looking at the dark sky behind suguru. he didn't regret it. no matter how suguru lashes out to him. it was worth to get beat up.

“she ruined you, suguru. you weren't like this. what happened to you?” gojo stares at him with such confidence, no remorse in his eyes and it made suguru's blood to boil.

“she didn't ruin anything, satoru. you ruined her. she didn't deserve that. even a monkey would act better than you, satoru. i didn't know you would stoop this low.”

“i thought we were fine with sharing, suguru. you can't be that selfish for me not to have your wife. she—”

gojo didn't finish what he was saying. geto's fist interrupting him. pummeling his face with no hesitation. geto sees red. his fists acting like they had a mind on their own. he didn't know his friend anymore. it's true, they shared a lot in the past but it was before you.

they were young, wild and free. acting they ruled the world. they were unstoppable. when suguru met you. he changed. wanting to be the man you deserved.

“it's the past, satoru. my wife is not a toy to be passed around. hurting her is the same as betraying me, satoru. i won't lament over the bond we shared. this is a reminder, a consequence of what you've done, satoru.” dropping his collar and with that suguru left him alone. in that cold park. bloodied and bruised. he'll live.

geto grabbed a stick of cigarette in his pocket. lighting it up. wiping the blood smeared into his cheek and he shakes his head looking at his bloodied knuckles. taking a drag of the cigarette and exhaling the fumes.

he didn't regret what he had done. it wasn't half of the pain he inflicted to you. he needs more, much worse from what he had done. he would heal from that wounds but you — you will never heal from what he had done but he will make sure you wouldn't hurt anymore. he will try to make you forget it even it is the last thing he'll do.

gojo laid bruised and bloodied. he can't open his left eye. he didn't care. was it too much to ask for anything, for you. perhaps he underestimated suguru.

after what he had done, gojo can't help but to think of you. a godsend you are to suguru and you will be always the sin for him and he would repeat the same sin — again and again.

“what's your favorite color?”

megumi asked you, out of the blue. the child sitting beside you while you both looked at the people passing by. his legs swinging a little.

“let me think. it's mmm...”

megumi looks to his side. studying your face while you think of your favorite color. your lips quirking to the side, eyebrows furrowed up. when you reached your answer, your face lightened up.

“blue. my favourite color is blue, megumi.”

“why is that?” he asked once again. your eyebrows raising. megumi never asked for trivial questions such as where do babies come from or something simple as what's your favorite color but the boy's asking and you're more than willing to answer him. an attempt to connect with you and you smiled softly at him.

“it's reminds me of everything that makes me happy, megumi. the sky, the sea and it's the color of his eyes...” megumi gave you a confusing look when your voice died down at the last words.

before he can ask anything again, a annoying, all-too familiar voice interrupted him.

“hello, my two favorite creatures.” slinging his arms in megumi and to you. giving you a large smooch in your cheek and gojo looks to the side. a huge grin breaking out in his face and you swore you never seen megumi so scared before grabbing gojo's blindfold to stop him from terrorizing the poor child.

“satoru, i swear. megumi's going to kill you in your sleep—one day. stop annoying the child.” you warned to him, wringing his blindfold which made him wince from the pain.

“such a meanie—(y/n)!” he pouts, pinching your round cheeks — his cold, long fingers squeezing the flesh with no remorse. this is revenge and seeing you wince, eyebrows knitting in pure annoyance earns the biggest smirk from him. gojo would relish it for a little longer but seeing megumi sending daggers to him made him stop.

“phew. that was tough.” gojo casually began. attempting for the conversation to divert — feigning innocence like he didn't hurt your cheeks and ignoring megumi's glare at him.

“that hurts, satoru.” rubbing the sore spot in your round cheek. you'd be lucky if it didn't bruise. that would really be a pain in the ass.

“it wasn't that hard!” he retaliates. defending his own doings and you just shake your head. arguing with him would be pointless. knowing how gojo never back down. no matter how stupid it is.

“never mind. gumi you want to get ice cream?” pointing out the ice cream truck and megumi nods.

“what about me?!”

“satoru, you're an adult. get it on your own.” reaching out for megumi's hand in which he gladly accepts. his smaller hand holding yours. walking away from the white-haired male wearing blindfold with megumi in your grasp.

you gulped, looking at the corner of your eyes — only to find gojo standing and silent and him being quiet staring at you and megumi, there's chaos brewing in that brain of his and it's never good. it means trouble and despite the park having a fairly amount of people, it's no question he will be doing it.

in which you prepared for the worst. maybe, you can escape it this time.

“megumi.” you call out to the boy. responding to you with a hum. “prepare yourself. your other guardian is going to cause trouble again.” you whispered to him and megumi sweats a little. knowing how this one will end up. could he just have you as his and tsumiki's only guardian? not that troublesome adult who didn't seem to grow up—maturely. beggars can't be choosers or something like that, he knows he owe it to the man but sometimes he don't know how much longer he can endure it. megumi's glad you're around to balance, keep him calm but it never lasts.

you both turned around, and gojo seems like a statue standing there while watching you both and in cue, “run!” you told megumi. bolting to find a place to hide or escape and hoping you'd lost that boyfriend/troublesome idiot of yours.

with you and megumi holding your hand for dear life. yeah, it would be the death of you both if that idiot caught you two. you'll die of embarrassment.

then a full chase began around the park and with lessons yet still to learn and will never be taught. you forgot how gojo's long strides are and with the speed with you and megumi running in even at the headstart. too worried about the shenanigans gojo will bestow to you both.

“gotcha’ (y/n)-chan.” he said in a sing-song voice and adding the chan when teasing you and you felt yourself being lifted up with no chance of escape and you let go of megumi's hand.

“run, gumi!” you told the kid in which he reluctantly obeyed not wanting to leave you but knowing you, he ran in a safe distance watching as you squirmed at his other guardian who won't give you any mercy.

“satoru! put me down this instant!” in which gojo didn't comply. holding your middle with both of his hands while he spins you around. making you squeal and you swear you could feel the stares of multiple eyes.

“nope.” gojo flatly declares.

even with your weight, he still make you feel like you were the lightest person on the planet.

megumi watched in the distance, sitting in one of the tree roots sticking out in the ground. he could feel the annoyance creeping up on him but seeing you happy made him happy too. the annoyance barely affecting him while you laugh at gojo. he can hear the laughter and the cries you were making for the man-child to stop and megumi relished on that. he couldn't help but to feel a little upset about gojo, the man who stopped for letting him get sold by that so called family of his. he knows you and gojo had a life before him but seeing gojo takes all your attention away from him. he simply couldn't help it.

you gave him and tsumiki the utmost care, the unconditional love, making they were satisfied and making sure their wants and needs are met. catching the responsibilities they shouldn't be doing at their age for them to have a normal life. always going for the extra mile to have them taken care. you became the mother they never knew they needed. of course, that weird guy also gave them with the same amount of love but it would never match it with you.

with a plea and string of praises. of course, you complied. you didn't know if you could take more. face hot with embarrassment and your dress in a bunch. crinkling in the corners and you sighed looking at them. “you're the great and handsome gojo satoru! i love you with all my heart!” you shout earlier. never you thought you would stoop that low and just to feed his ego. you're not going to survive another whims he'll whip up. you were glad megumi's not part of it.

there's the casual silence, followed by the small bites in the ice cream you three bought. sitting in the bench under the sky with the soft breeze blowing.

“it's good?” you asked megumi and the boy looks at you and nods. bringing back his attention at his ice cream and you look at the man beside him. contentedly humming while he feasts on the cold treat.

“you got stain here, gumi.” swiping the boy's cheek with your thumb and he stops for a moment for you to clean it properly and goes back once again and gojo seeing it and being the jealous one. he accidentally smears the ice cream in his cheek. “mou~ (n/n) — i think i have some too.” he pouts and you look at him with “are you serious” look. knowing damn well it was intentional. he only smirks and points his cheek to emphasize. someday, you're going to have the chance to slap him, just once.

he leans down to you closer, dangerously close while you hold his jaw to avoid unnecessary movements and for you to wipe the sticky liquid in his face. “done.” you says and there's a cold sensation in your cheek. this bastard.

you decided to be the bigger person today cause if you fought back. there's a full on wild goose chase again. it couldn't be help. you accepted this idiot and you won't be leaving him anytime soon with megumi and tsumiki now in both of your lives.

you three sat there. watching people passed by with ice creams in your hands. it's a cool, windy day under the blue sky.

it felt like it was yesterday. the days and years passing in a blink of an eye and it slip backs into his memory why he asked you what's your favorite color. blue. you fondly told him that with a smile gracing in your lips and that is only memory that stuck him.

under the blue sky. the sunny days. where everybody is basked in it's warmth. the vastness of the blue sky and how it always be a reminder of the happy days. it's always brought a smile to your face, he would remember and he would smile too —a little.

he can't find himself to he happy nor feel a little joy under this weather. droplets of rain falling all over the road, the roofs and the cold wind blowing. puddles of water surrounding the area and he understands why such joyous moments only happens in a warm, sunny day with the blue sky—no clouds.

megumi didn't know what losing someone felt like and he got the first taste of it when tsumiki got cursed and now yours — it was different.

it felt like a ton of bricks and stone is put on him. he feels numb despite of it. he couldn't believe it. how could this happen? you were strong. that's why you survived for so long, enough to see him grow up to be the man he is now today but death's hand is unstoppable. the greatest power on earth couldn't prevent it.

he refuses to see your body laying down in the table. what's bright and warm smile you always give to him — it's gone. replaced by a cold and lifeless expression in front of him. he says he needed to see after all, to see is to believe and he wish he didn't.

the white blanket covering your body and he don't know if he'll cry or not. it's too much. gone too soon and what of your passing to his sensei.

gojo remains silent. the most silent he ever seen him. of course, the loudest he was is when with you. the banters, the witty remarks, your laugh, the squeals when he does something stupid. megumi knew gojo didn't need comfort, not from him. knowing that the cure for that pain is you . he's fighting his own battles too and despite what he felt for the man in his younger days, he still owes him. his life to him and to you.

with no parents stepping up and leaving them to fend for their own. you both came. remembering the day where you scolded gojo to never say anything stupid enough to spook them. he was first to be graced by your smile that day. assuring him that he and tsumiki will be fine. jabbing at gojo telling him that they were going to be fine and it was more than fine.

he couldn't ask anything for more and when the heart could no longer carry the heavy burden of you being gone. his eyes speaks for what the heart can't carry no more. excusing himself leaving the man who you deeply loved more than anything in the world and with the door closing. his eyes opened for the tears to fall.

he's no better than what's megumi feeling right now. fuck, didn't he just promised that he'll protect you so what the fuck this happened.

he wants to scream. curse every living person. his knuckles turning paler than it is — gripping his hair that it'll rip off. you were supposed to be coming home. alive and well. breathing with his name the first thing you'll say and you'd given him the most tight embrace you could muster. “i'm home, satoru.” you are never coming back home.

this is his reality.

he went to approach your body. you look so different. there your face. it was the most brightest when you smiled, laughed even, cried when he's teasing got overboard. he wouldn't get used to this. he needs you laughing and smiling. tell him you love him — that he's an insufferable asshole — that he's your idiot — that—that you're afraid of losing him.

he examined your face, from the shape of your eyes, to the roundness of your cheeks, to the fullness of your lips. you were still his. you look peaceful and he don't want that when you're laying in this table with the mountain of corpses who has been previous laid here.

he wants to see your eyes again. staring right back at him with much adoration and annoyance. he would tease you for hours for the reason your favorite color is blue cause it was the color of his eyes. he can't miss that what you'd told megumi that day. blue makes you happy. his eyes, him. he made you happy and that's important right? he made you happy with the duration of your life with him and that was meant to last for a lifetime with him but it's not going to happen.

he grasp your hand. it's hard and cold. no life and warmth in those hands. the very hands who tenderly cared for the siblings — the very hands who held him every night — that hands that cups his face and you would tell him straight in the eyes that you love him — so — so — much.

“i love you too, (y/n).” he says. slipping the ring he got after the day you both adopted megumi and tsumiki. you're both officially guardians to two children and that means a new start for a family. he didn't know what possessed him that day to get a ring. you're both young with the future ahead of you. it's seems unclear and yet he still got that. one day — one day. he will put that ring to your finger with a promise that he'll annoy you for the rest of your lives together.

he didn't even get to propose to you. always waiting for the right moment but never came and he thinks this is the right moment. he wants to laugh for how stupid he was. the ring would be nicely suited to your ring finger if you were still alive. a promise to spend the rest of your lives together and he can't do that now.

he kisses your forehead one last time before covering you with the blanket. this is goodbye, he guesses. he thinks you're in peace now — no pain, suffering. no one's going to harm you. you're at peace. he told himself.

no amount of grieving will ever rid the pain you inflicted with your passing to the both of them. with the heavy rain pouring.

there will be no promise of blue sky, after this.