Two Different Ways

two different ways

Printing this and hanging it up in the laundry room ☺

designated driver!blade standing outside your office building looking so menacing while coldly asking for you and everyone thinks he's your debt collector or sumn but you come down to meet him and he's just like "you forgot your lunch. i came to bring it to you. don't forget next time. i won't do this again (he will). text me when you're done. i'll come pick you up."

STOP imagine all your coworkers thinking you're in trouble and owe someone something. i mean, how could they not? dressed in all black, a mask, a glare that screams "come near me and you die", a brooding aura much like those exaggerated in the movies, and just an overall sketchy vibe.

so, of course they're going to follow you out when you go to the lobby to meet him! and they're glad they did because he makes a move to pull something from his inner trench coat pocket and—

it's a... cutely wrapped lunchbox? and what's this flowery aura around him when you smile at him? even despite the mask, they swear they can see a blush creeping up his cheeks as you bid him a "see you later!", leaving him to gaze after your retreating figure with an aura akin to that of a kicked puppy. he reverts back to the cold and menacing man they initially thought him to be when he turns to leave, scaring away anyone who walks within his vicinity.

...what is this unbelievable gap moe?

ratiotouille

(my twitter)

dr ratio's unique stratagems debuffs

(my twitter)

─ when annoyances turn to comprehension

dr. ratio's vexation in being friends with a fool in love.

note. gender neutral reader & inspired by @/genshinarchives. be warned that I have not yet caught up with the quest so they might be a little ooc but if it works it works. unedited.

dr. ratio's just about had it with you.

no, you weren't one of ailing students who couldn't comprehend his brilliant and meticulous lectures on things many couldn't decipher heads or tails of unless they've had his guidance. and even then, the amount of students who would reluctantly approach him after class is a number far greater than he'd like for there to be.

you were not a coworker either, getting on his last nerves just as he was about to retire for the night and soak up a long needed bath (aeon knows just how much he's depending on that just to make it through the next day) and asking him questions that make him ponder why they were even a teacher at all.

no, dr. ratio's never even met you.

however, from the stories he's heard about you from the insane gambler, he's had just about enough information to write an entire encyclopedia about every single detail in your life and over. things like your usual routine, what you like for breakfast, what snacks you pick up from the store and the adorable habits you seem to have when you're just sitting around breathing.

for once, the luminous genius finds himself cursing his ability to remember things down to the last detail and growing overly concerned over the fact his eyes might actually roll to the back of his head from doing it so many times. the number of migraines you induce on him when he doesn't even know what you look like is a figure he doesn't bother to keep count of anymore.

ratio swears that when he's in the presence of the blond there's a guarantee he's going to hear your name from his lips at least thrice. anything and everything can remind aventurine of you, apparently.

they could be talking about chalk or the most complicated mathematics to mankind and he'd still hear your name.

"... fools I tell you! I've given everything they need to solve such a simple problem and they still can't even begin to comprehend it! "

"speaking of problems, I wonder if [name]'s managed to find a way to get their computer fixed yet..." cue yet another eye roll.

by now he's sure that you and aventurine had to be dating, there's just no other explanation for his infatuation and his need to bring your presence everywhere with him. but when he found out that you two weren't, he was left momentarily stumped.

"tell me, should I go this shade of green or this purple? "

"I don't know why you're asking me such a question when you already have a lover to answer them for you."

"... we aren't dating, doctor."

"... what? "

ratio's never been more confused in his entire life than in that moment.

and when aventurine finally has the gal to introduce you to him, he finds that perhaps the information he has about you stored somewhere within in vast brain might come in handy after all.