Honkai Star Rail X Reader - Tumblr Posts

made a hsr, gi, and wuwa self aware fic :33

© uvuyai 2024 (Currently redesigning.)

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐊 - 𝑿𝑿𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑨... ❥

Quot ; DoRk!!!!!! Also dont get blinded if your phone is max brightness

★...REQUEST ARE OPEN(PLEASE READ ”, characters i write”), SHORT ASKS ARE OPEN,

𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒊 ❥ (20 * she/her) ISFP-T ❥ artist, writer ❥ !! 1000+ 𝑆𝑊𝐸𝐸𝑇𝐻𝐸𝐴𝑅𝑇𝑆 !!!! I THANK AND APPRECIATE YOU ALL (﹡ˆ﹀ˆ﹡)♡

ღ blog info

I'm gonna say this once. This blog contains real DARK CONTENT. I do not plan on changing and no one will make me so otherwise. Things such as non-con and yandere will appear, meaning if you follow me this will appear in your dashboard. I do not support these behaviors or acts in real life.

• masterlist/post • tags :3

• links • rules • characters I write

© uvuyai 2024

ძᥲᥡ 2 ~ һᥙmіᥣіᥲ𝗍і᥆ᥒ + 𝗍ᥡіᥒg ᥙ⍴ [EVENT]

Yandere! Blade x FEM! Reader

–genre. Smut, nsfw

–tw. Blood, skin carving, humiliation, skin writing, non-con, creampie, sadist!blade, spanking, porn with plot(maybe), size difference, stomach bulge, choking, overstimulation, possessive behaviors, blade is called ren, mentions of the hard R in the beginning, neglect, degradation, reader is blades reincarnated lover, prone bone, MINORS DNI, non consensual touching, nipple play, SW and Kafka is helping blade, headlocking, dub-con, blood,

–synopsis. You've been kidnapped by the swordsman of the Stellaron Hunters and brought to their headquarters. It's Valentine's Day and he planned something special.

Mari/yai's message – just know i was very uncomfortable with writing this. I've been drawing lately so it's been a while.

You were tied up in the basement of the Stellaron Hunters headquarters. You were just walking down the streets of luofu till you were grabbed into an alleyway and a cloth covering your mouth and then you inhaled chloroform, passing out into the person's(or thing) arm. When your captor brought you back to where they lived, they introduced themselves as Blade but he told you to call him ren.

Blade. As in the wanted criminal and part of the Stellaron Hunters?

After a while he got tired of your useless attempts at escaping (mostly snitched on by Kafka or Silverwolf by telling blade you escaped.), and then forcefully forced himself onto you. After that he left you.

He would come back occasionally if Kafka told him so if he didn't want you to die. He would bring you clothes and food to keep you alive and helped you take care of your hygiene. You didn't eat in front of him and just pretend to be asleep most of the time in the corner of the mattress.

You tried talking to him but couldn't since your stuttering held you back and you couldn't make eye contact with him since he fiery red eyes would stare into your soul, stunning it immediately.

He brought you stuff like a note book to draw or use it as a diary. Since you barely could get your words out, you wrote ‘Why did you kidnap me?’ on a page. He only muttered the word “Lover” and left it at that.

Well today was Valentine's day as you'd know by the calendar beside your bed. You still didn't love him or let yourself develop Stockholm Syndrome. If you could tell, he hated it.

You behaved well for the days, months, or even years he captured you. He let you out of your ropes and lets you walk around the basement. Various furniture was added like a desk that faced a window(that was very hard to break), a bed set, and a built in shower.

Silver Wolf gave the glory to Blade that he can have one of her old games but he decided to give it to you so you wouldn't be as bored when he went.

Kafka came down and called out for you. You raised your head from your pillow and looked at her with sleepy doe eyes. “C'mon dearie, Blade will be home soon and he has something planned for you.” she grabbed your forearm and dragged you to the bathroom and ran you a bath as if you were her child. She helped you shave your legs(and everywhere else including pubic) and did your hair into something simple. She gave you pink Valentine's Day themed lingerie undergarments to put underneath the white lace night gown.

You wished you knew why Blade suggested Kafka to give you this. The clothes fit you nicely. Your mind was all over the place as you thought about how Blade got the correct measurements of your bra and panties.

Kafka led you out of the bathroom and back to your bed and went back up stairs and came back down with a low black gift box. She skied the top off the box to reveal red ribbons. The box was branded so it must've been from a sex store or somewhere that was expensive. You thought it was for your hair otherwise it's weird to come in a box like that.

Kafka placed her hands behind her back and closed her eyes and let out a pitiful sigh. “I'm sorry, dear.” Before you could turn around something rough and hard hit the back of your head. It put you to sleep on impact.

She dragged your body to your bed and threw you on your bed, grabbing the ribbon and tied it tightly around your legs and wrist. The extras went around your waist and torso. You were truly a beautiful doll. She wrapped soft cloth around your mouth and eyes. Just breathe through

She left the room and as if on cue, Blade stepped through the door. In his deep voice, he spoke. “Did you do what I asked?” Kafka nodded her head and gave off her signature smile. “I did but I had to neutralize her because she was struggling too much for my comfort.” she was obviously lying. He could obviously tell too.

He stepped his way to the basement where you were. He heard distant whimpering and sobs which were coming from you. He reached you and noticed your squirming. Your breath hitched as you heard boots stepping your way. The ribbons were hurting way too much to even ignore for a bit.

“Hey waterlily, It's really disappointing how you didn't behave for her.” he breathed. “You should be punished for that. I see she did most of the work.” you heard something slam on the nightstand next to your bed.

He hooked his finger underneath the blindfold to reveal your doe stricken eyes.

His lips lifted into a smirk while he trailed his bandaged fingers from your face to your collarbone. He noticed your squirming got more vapid. You shook your head as you didn't want him to continue.

His hand ripped the strap that was holding the gown, revealing your covered breast. Your face felt as if it was burning from embarrassment. He pushed you onto your back and got on top of you. Your muffled protests became unheard as he grabbed scissors and cut the straps from your bra, removing it, and revealing your tits.

“You look like a slut... Begging for someone's attention.” he laughed. “That someone's attention you want is me.” he dug into his pants pocket and pulled out a knife and a permanent marker.

He slid the knife down your torso, the force was enough for it to draw blood. He leaned down and lapped at the blood while maintaining eye contact with you. Tears ran down your face and dried ones were replaced.

He fully discarded your dress and panties and threw them somewhere on the bed or ground. He used his gloved hand to finger you. Your slick immediately gathering on his hand. “Has all this fear got to you? I would've mistaken you for being a masochist, y'know.”

He unbuckled his pants and slid down his boxers that revealed his large, thick throbbing dick. It was flushed red at the tip and a white bead of precum was drooling from the slit. He thrusted two fingers into your cunt. He wanted to prep you since it's been a while since he had done anything with you. The stimulation was overwhelming. You desperately tried to kick him away but he grabbed your waist and replaced his finger with his dick rubbing against your pussy. Your juices covered the downside of his dick.

He leaned back to position his dick between your pussy lips. He thrusted up into your pussy, hitting your spongy spot on impact. A little blood covered his dick as well. A bulge would pop up with each thrust of his hips. Your scream was muffled and you leaned your head back on the pillow. You were biting at the cloth that was covering your mouth. It was covered in your saliva as well.

Blade hooked a finger underneath the cloth and pulled it down. Your breathing was harsh in a way that if it was cold, air would come from your mouth. As his thrusts started to pick up and your juices webbed his whole dick, he picked the knife back up and started to engrave a letter below your tits. The letter was his initial, the letter ‘B’. The icy hot pain was all over your body(it wasn't but it felt like it but mainly between your thighs), Blade licked the blood up, enjoying the metallic iron taste from it. His dick landed painful hits to your cervix, making you grimace at the feeling.

During that, yelps, whines, and moans were heard through the basement. If you were loud enough, Kafka and Silver Wolf would hear.

His thrust got more erratic. His thrusts were sure that by the time he finished your pussy would be gapping open and molded into the shape of his cock. You tried to cover your moans by turning your head to the side and trying to muffle them as much as possible. Blade was quick to grab your face, squishing your cheeks together as he got up in your face while looking at your unfocused eyes filled with tears. He trailed his eyes down back to where he drew the letter below your tits.

He slowly itched a small cross(which was a plus sign,) and after a while, he carved your first name initials after. It looked like those cheesy trends where it shows what initials are meant to be for example; B + Y. He did all of this while keeping his thrusts while you squirted your juices onto his lower abdomen and cock. He grabbed the permanent marker and drew a small heart around the heart.

He grabbed you by the shoulders and squished you against his chest. He rocked his hips back and forth and wrapped his arm around your waist to keep you steady. “You are such a slut. Nothing but my cum dump.” The cold permanent marker touched your skin, sending shivers down your spine and to your core. He wrote a few words like “CUMDUMP”, ”SLUT”, and “Blades/ren's property” on your back. He placed a few humiliating words on your collarbone so anyone could see it and also remind him what you are to him.

You pussy clenched around his dick, signaling your. “You wanna cum, yeah? Then cum. Cum for me.” he said between grunts. Your string of moans and mewls of being overstimulated, he released his cum inside you. Your stomach was slightly bloated and thick, sticky cum leaked out of your cunt and onto the bedsheets(it had little bubbles in them and stuck together like a spider web).

Blade was quick to flip you onto your stomach with your ass in the air. He grabbed the knife and released your wrist from the ropes binding them together. Your wrists were finally able to breathe. His rough hands grab at your wrist, pulling them to make you arch your back further.

He angled his cock back at your entrance, pushing his hips forward and his cum and your juices acting together as a secondary lube. The movement of his hips grew faster as time passed.

He leaned down to where his chest was touching your back. He resumed his torcher and thrust into you so hard he could break into your cervix and split you apart. His hand snaked up to your neck, squeezing it slightly so it wasn't hard enough to stop your breath. He used it to angle your head so he could kiss you. You moaned into his mouth and drooled all over his tongue.

His thrust started to get sloppy and he felt your breath get harsher from you breathing through your mouth. He wrapped both of his thick bulging arms around your neck, placing you in a loose headlock. A hand slipped down and tugged at your nipple. You released the kiss as you tried to get your breath back by sticking your tongue out. He placed a loud smack on your ass which made you come on his dick, stunning you.

He came inside you for the second time. You don't know how long he'll be doing this for as you feel his dick hardened inside you.

;(

© uvuyai 2024. . . ~ ღ

𝐵𝒶𝒷𝓎, 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐝...

–tw. Mentioned false information, size difference, dub con, measuring, stomach bulge, cervix fucking, creampies, slight yan, rough sex, pinned down, bondage, overstimulation, dacryphilia, big cocks, pussy job, cuteness agression maybe(??), this will be ooc for some characters listed, mating press, fem reader,

ღ ~ You were currently tied up(only your hands) by your quote on quote, "oblivious" boyfriend. He claimed he wanted to measure you and your body parts but you don't understand why he needed to tie you up on the bed. It's so you wont squirm too much, baby he says. You sigh and roll your eyes and wished to get this over with.

He climbs on top of the bed and sits beside you. You looked at him but he was busy with a stupid smirk on his face, looking down towards your lowerhalf. He hooked his finger onto the waistband of your shorts and panties and slid them down, a string of slick connecting with your panties and he threw the clothes somewhere in the corner of the room . “What are you doing?!”. You yelped and tried using one of your legs to cover your pussy. He sat in front of you, grabbed your thighs and slung them over his shoulders. You look at them, tears welded in your eyes as you gritted your teeth with flushed cheeks.

Your cunt was soaking his torso by now. You wiggled your hips trying to get away but got stopped when squeezed it and split your legs apart, your pussy on full display for him and only him. He unbuckled his pants and fished out his cock that he knew you loved. It was already thick, long, and painfully hard as it bobbed up and down right by your womb.

“I'm gonna do an experiment on ya, baby.” he moved his hand to stroke his dick as a bead of precum formed at the tip.

“You see where this is?” he points to your belly button and you nod. ”I've heard, that a woman's cervix, is right beneath.” he finishes as he dragged his finger a bit down from your belly button. You felt yourself blushing and looked away.

“Considering how big I am, I might just burst through your womb.” he emphasizes on the big. He has a weirdly built ego that makes you wonder how you even got together.

“But I don't think I needed this information considering i've fucked your womb countless times.” he was right about that.

He bent your calves so he could rest his hands on your knees to balance himself as he leaned over you. His dick plopped right over your cunt, slick covering the base of it. He rocked his hips back n' forth, stimulating your clit in the process. He noticed your panting getting more harsh. You whined, desperately trying to get out of this predicament.

More of your juices covered the underside of his cock. He seems lost in pleasure as his eyes were closed and he seemed to shudder and drool. He opened his eyes only to be locked with yours. If you look closely, you could see the hearts in his eyes mixed with lust. His pupils were slightly trembling as they stared back at you.

You looked away as the loving stare was too much for you to keep eye contact with.

A smirk was etched on his face. He moved himself back so that his thick tip was prodding at your soaking entrance. He moved his hips forward, pushing his dick up into your cunt.

His cock was covered in your juices and cream. The deeper he went, it felt like what he said was true. He would be able to burst through your stomach. He went down to your face and pressed his lips against yours. He bit your bottom lip for entrance to which you granted. He tongue quickly sped into your mouth, entangling itself with yours as he continued his thrusts up against your womb.

Your hands were desperately grasped at the ribbon holding your wrists together. Tears were streaming down your cheeks then he leaned down to lick them and slightly bite at your cheeks.

He spits out grunts and slight whimpers while a string of moans and mewls comes from you. He soon settled his cock deep inside you which made you cum with a cry as he hit that spot that you love. “Wow baby, came on the spot huh?” he gave slow thrusts but leaned forward so your calves were touching his. back

You tried to move your hips away but his veiny hands grasped harshly at your waist that it would surely leave marks and pull you on his cock so it can reach a deeper part than before. His thrusts got faster that so much so it hit your cervix with brutal thrusts. Your cervix felt as if a mouth was sucking the tip of his dick. “N-noo.. you're too roUGH!” you tried to push him away with your binded wrists but was unsuccessful from his brute stature.

You felt the coil in your stomach tighten. The bulge in your stomach signed how deep his was in your womb. You close your eyes tightly and let out a wanton moan followed by a mewl and whine.

After a few thrusts into your small womb, he released his seed into your womb, your stomach becoming slightly bloated. You closed your eyes in exhaustion. He moved himself back not pulling out. He looked down at your form and saw your body glistening with sweat and you lower half shining from the juices you and him produced together by pleasure each other.

His hand pressed down onto your bloated stomach which made his cum dribble out of your cunt like a waterfall. “Look at that, wasting my precious cum,” he says with a tsk and shakes his head. “Don't worry baby, I'll just fuck it back into you.” he leaned towards your face with a crazed lovesick look in his eyes.

“And I'll keep fucking it into you until I deem you as full enough to produce my child.” ღ

CHARACTERS IN MIND: Childe, Kaeya, Itto, Ayato, Scaramouche, Jing Yuan, Sampo, Aventurine, Boothill, Gojo, Toji, Sukuna, Nanami, AND YOUR FAVS

DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, COPY, REPOST, OR TRANSLATE MY POST W/O PERMISSION. DO NOT COPY MY LAYOUT. YOU MAY TAKE INSPIRATION BUT MAKE SURE TO CREDIT ME.

₩arning: Yan? HSR × You?, grammar mistakes, out of character.

Let's say you are a Kaslana in the HSR verse, being the "knight" of Humanity is no joke, even more so that you can't even protect your home.

Your homeland got attacked by the Swarms Disaster hundreds of years ago, and you are the only survivor, eventhough not exactly. The price of that is being trapped inside a doll body, you can feel, can touch and can speak, ... like a normal human. But you have no heart inside your body, just an artificial gem that deemed as your source of living. And with that body, you also often got shrink into a size of a grown man palm. Maybe something can change it, but you don't know how.

Oh, and did I mention that you also have amnesia, you have forgotten completely everything before you got transferred into a doll body. That's why you are on a journey to find it back, but on the way, you accidentally lost into a small box. However, you got saved by a tall and muscular man in the name of Veritas Ratio. He is curious about your origin and how your body shrink, therefore allowing you to follow him around as you vow to repay him for helping you out.

In the process, you met Aventurine, a man with a sinister smile and peculiar eyes, who your savior was talking to when they met at the front of the Dewlight Pavilion, The Oak's base of operation. Aventurine sure does notice you, and did ask about you to Ratio, and he replied with just a saying: "research partner", which made the blonde snickers.

However, later when Aventurine got sent out by the Head of the Oak's family, Sunday, Ratio secretly sent you with him, that the professor said it's for you to keep an eye on him, which you do. Aventurine quickly warmed up to you, eventhough he is in an illusion, he still recognizes you as a real person and allows you to follow him on his shoulder.

Maybe in his way, he encountered some drunken men who purposely causing a problem with him, which makes you angered. And with that, you and him discovered that lips to lips touches can make you grow back in some times. After that, you sure did beat up those people and give them to the Bloodhound.

When the time comes, you turned back to Ratio, but got lost along the way 'cause of your size, which makes you meet the Nameless. Surely they are friendly, and helped you out finding Ratio. When you got back on the professors shoulder, you show him the new discovery you founded without a word (or maybe you just can't talk in that form), which makes Ratio mad. But looking at your dumb smile of happiness of finally being helpful to him, Ratio stopped his lectures that was about to spill out and forgive you.

Maybe in the future, you will learned how to protect humanity again, and learned how to love again with the artificial heart inside you. But to vowed to be the shield of humanity is not a good thing at all. Because the people around you will surely never let you go get a single scratch on your face, let alone that you will sacrifice yourself for a person that you don't even know.

But do they know that you are the strongest Emanator in the whole universe, that can rivals even Aeons?

Or....

It's just my new oc lore that I want to share. I might expand it in the future if I got a chance.

Part 2

(unfinished art, credit belongs to me, please don't take it anywhere)

₩arning: Yan? HSR x Kaslana! self-insert?, grammar mistakes, out of character, doomed yuri(?), kind of a harem...

Part 1: here

Expanding on the previous one...lore and shit 'cause I wanted to giggled.

Anyway, a little reminder, as a Kaslana, you are deemed to be gay or bisexual, so be prepared.

------

In the past, you had your own kingdom. Your father was the previous king, your mother had died giving birth to you not long after. And so your father raised you on his own, teaching you about the goods and bads of the world, teaching you how to fight for your loved one and protect them at all cost in the name of the Kaslanas, The Knights and Shield of Humanity.

However, in a war with some Honkai Beasts, he died bravely, entrusting the kingdom and the life-long weapon of your family, which was a weapon of the Goddess your kingdom had been worshipping, "Atajina", had once held, to you. With that, you began leading the kingdom at the ripe age of 19.

You were a great leader, you had led your people to the war against the Swarms Disaster, later on leading the injured and the citizens to safety through the mountains. However, on the way, a woman accidentally dropped her baby down the hills below because of an argument between your mentally unstable comrades that was scared of the Swarms. The mother who was too surprised to even comprehend the situation, followed her son down the hills to protect him on instinct.

Being the only one who noticed that makes you rushed over to catch them, but instead got dragged down by gravity. Upon falling down, you could heard the screams of your comrades and the people who were worried for you behind, but you hugged the body of the woman closer to you, wanted to protect them with your own body no matter the cost.

When you woke up, you were still hugging their body. Despite a few scratches here and there, you saw that they were fine. But you were not, you felt a burning, painful feeling in the back and back of the head, which makes your head felt lighter. Seeing the passed out woman and her son in your hands, you could feel your heart beating calmly, relieving that they are safe.

Because you got up earlier, you instead went to investigate around with your broken back and bleeding head. When you got back, you saw the woman had woken up and she's calming her son down. After she noticed you and realized the situation that happened, she immediately apologized and said that her name was Yaerosa. Later she helped you tending your wounds with things you found useful while sobbing, saying sorry over and over again for causing it but being the person you are, you brushed it off.

When she asked about the people up the tall hills, you got silent. You haven't think that through 'cause of the rushed situation, now you do. But you believe in your comrades, they will understand and led the people back to safety first and then find you later.

Yaerosa was a sweet young woman, you thought, she was a single mother, the son's father had abandoned them upon hearing that she was pregnant, which makes her miserable. However, she got back on her feet by her family's support and the son who was born, whom she loved dearly.

You admired Yaerosa and her bravery personality. She also said that she had a great impression of you, who had started an event of helping those in needs by funding them with money and food and a place of living by building houses with helping them earn a job. She was one of those in needs, and she was grateful for you to be the one who proposed that idea and got accepted.

You and Yaerosa warmed up to each other, spending your time healing and investigating the surroundings to find the way back. She was the perfect woman in your eyes, and when you realized you liked her, you started to try and court her by making her flowers ring, subtly hinting your feelings. And in turns, she also subtly accepted it.

However, the good time never last long.

When you were out hunting for food, Yaerosa got attacked by the remains of the Swarms, eventhough they are much more weaker than all the other one you had encountered, they can still be harmful to those who don't know a single thing about fighting like her. And so, she died with her son in hands.

When you came back, you saw her cold body and felt chills run down your spine. You couldn't believe your eyes, and you were devastated, got crazy and started to hunted down the Swarms. When you calmed down, you instead went back and properly buried Yaerosa and her son, wished for them to rest in peace.

Later on, you found your way back to your kingdom after months of finding, but instead of your comrades and people greeting you, there were only desolation and death surrounded. Red dripping down the walls and mottled under your feet, making you feel more lightheaded than ever. Is this why they take months to find you? That they were all dead? You asked yourself in the reflection of the broken glass underneath you.

Upon seeing the culprit, the Swarms Leader in the middle of the city with it's children around, you could feel blood running straight to your head, and you took it upon yourself to revenge your comrades and kingdom. You wielded your weapon, flying toward the Leader with all your might and started a no-ending fight.

It eventually ended with you winning, but your blood keep flowing non-stop, the big hole on your waist cannot be tend, and your missing right hand cannot be cured. You were on your dying breath, which was your goal at last. You fell down to the ground, your eyes felt heavier than ever and you could slightly see your father, the previous king, and the love of your life, Yaerosa, standing in front of you, with your comrades and people behind them, waving to you.

You thought they were greeting you, welcomed you to their embraces and you were about to ran to them, but instead, you got pushed back, the last thing you saw was them turning around and leaving you in the dark.

When the light hits you, you saw that you are no longer on the battlefield. Your head was hurting, and your memory was not right. You were in a new body now, as you inspect your own body, you were met with a warming person, who later introduced to you as Akivili. They said that they had founded you dying on their way to travel around the galaxy, then they helped you transfer your life and soul into this doll that they got from a friend, giving you a second chance at life.

However, they didn't expect you to forget everything before that, so they didn't know your name. Instead, they gave you a new name, Filtatos, which later you founded out that it means "dearest".

You began your journey with Akivili, traveled around the galaxy and learned new things everytime. But when the times come, you asked them to leave, wanting to travel alone, eventhough you saw that Akivili was hesitant about it, they eventually accepted, and you took on the journey alone.

That's when you found out that without something, your body will always got shrink into a palm size.

Maybe because a certain Aeon keeps hiding the fact that kissing someone on the lips is not something that friends would do, which in turn causing you a lot of troubles because you didn't know how to fix the shrinking, instead you just waited till it gone (that can last at least 12 hours).

Until you met the infamous Dr. Ratio and followed him around that you found out about the method.

But we've discussed it before, so let's keep it aside.

After the Incident of Penacony, in which you cannot dreams so you successfully escape the illusion, you were greeted with the familiar Knight of Beauty, whom you met on your alone journey one time and ended up saved him from the poisonous experiment of some researchers from the Herta's Space Station in a random planet. He was so grateful for that that he always offered to help or even take you with him, eventhough you refused many times before.

Later on with the Galaxy Ranger, Boothill, who immediately recognized you as the loner he met in a bar on another random planet, which you were just following a friend to protect them on a per request. He was mesmerized by your beauty and strength that he wanted to travel with you on the journey for a while longer but never got the chance to since you left the planet as soon as you were done with the request.

A certain Emenator of Nihility is familiar with you, a sense of homesick came to her when meeting you, but she can't quite put on a word to it. So she let it through, bringing her to you even more than a normal person would. Because you brought to her a feeling of protection, wanting to shield you from any harms but didn't dare to stop you when the times come.

That Memo-Keeper sure is a headache. When you first met her, she was trying to sneak into your memories and find out what's behind those doll-like bones of yours, only to be horribly pushed back by the invisible forces. It didn't hurt her, of course, just a little uncomfortable of the suddenness but she could handle it, unlike when she is with that Emenator. But that only makes her longing for it more, wanting to find out what's behind those forces, and so, she continued to invaded your spaces, nothing too much, just close enough to let her through. But everytime she got pushed, she go further as she could, and everytime it happened, her obsession with you grew. So you learned to stay away from her, perhaps someday you will have to make her learn her lessons of not invading others memories.

Next is with the infamous singer, Robin, who was so excited to see you, the person who she once had a chance of meeting in one of her concerts in another planet. You were one of her bodyguards that she hired temporary, and she was delighted by the way you acted around her that she even invited you to sing with her in one of her released albums, which her fans did question who is the deep voices singing in the background of her songs.

Last but not least, the Oak's Head Clan, Sunday, whom you met when he was being imprisoned in a dark room that you unfortunately stumbled across when you were lost. You did offered to help him escape, but he refused. So all you did was cleaning up around him and himself because in your mind, it would suit him better than being stained with dirt and mud. Which in fact, did made him widened his eyes.

Now meeting the Nameless, you were a little surprised at how much it had grown for the past hundreds of years when you had gone, but you reluctantly get used to it. You greeted Pom-pom with ease, who was so happy to see you again, and said hello to the new Nameless, who was so stunned at the fact that you are old enough to had traveled with the Aeon of Trailblaze themselves.

Welt himself, however, was stunned by your appearance and similarities between his old acquaintances. Perhaps could he get your real name perchance? That would help him rings a bell.

But in the meeting with everyone on the Radiant Feldspar, you had to choose a path in which decided where is your next journey will be to continue the recovery of your memories, because all of them had taken a liking to you.

Would it be the old Astral Express but with new passengers? Or the Intelligent Guild of the infamous strict professor? Maybe the IPC with the gambler and his work-friends, who had taken an interest in your past? Or the loner Galaxy Ranger with a gun? Remember the extended hand of a distant Emenator? How about the Knight of Beauty? Can you consider adding a relaxing tour with a certain influencer?

Or maybe should you stay alone and be on own?

Oh wait, you don't have that choice, do you?

(Art is mine, please be mindful and don't bring it anywhere)

*Likes and reblogs appreciated*

Request page!!!

Hi, I'm new here and I thought why not start writing ff. So if you want something from these fandoms:

Genshin Impact

Honkai star rail

Dr Stone

Trigun Stampede

Mars Red

Spiderverse ( if there's nothing then I have to take one for the team and my own content)

Fairy tail

Transformers (Prime, RotB)

More to add

Feel free to request from other shows too because these are just my most recent hyperfocuses!

Rules when requesting:

Specify what you want. The more details the better.

I won't do anything gore related or any dead dove type of stuff. No out of pocket kinky stuff please. I am a woman of Christianity (as if)

I do both female and male characters

I don't do ocs but I can add on descriptors so you can feel more seen. (I will ask for specifis to better write the portrayal and actions)

Be kind when requesting =D

Hello! May I request the Astral Express Crew (Platonic) ((maybe plus Jing Yuan if your okay with that)) reacting to frail!soft!observant!reader, who usually either stays on the express with PomPom or running small (relatively safe) errands, having extremely strong mental resilience?

The group is confronting a very enemy that has the ability to cause agonizing mental pain (turns out its the enemies severe depression) with their mind powers by using their opponents' fears against them. (Which the pain alone had the ability and has driven people insane) It's kept everyone else back a significant distance (including Welt and Jing Yuan), except he reader, who appears to be completely unaffected.

Turns out the reader had enured the same agonizing mental pain that was inflicted on everyone(which exponentially increased the closer they got to the enemy). Due to their past experiences with living with moderate to severe depression and the high levels of self-actualization they had gained as a result, the reader managed to pull through and defeat the enemy alone with some injuries.

Yeah, they cried and was much more softer and frail afterward, but they made a full (mental) recovery after a few days of just resting in their cabin on the Express. Even then, the reader still made the effort of checking in on everyone afterward and offering comfort, space, or just company if needed. ( Reader knows they have the experience and the tools to cope, and they know that the others are more shaken than they say they are)

Thank you.

👁-👁 Anon

Thank you so much for requesting!!! I hope this is to your heart's liking 👁-👁 Anon. I hope to hear from you again!!

Title: Resilience

Pairing/s: Platonic Astral Express Crew (+ Jing Yuan)

Genre: Angst w/happy ending

Word count: 825

I can imagine it was supposed to be a regular mission with the express trio (March 7th, Trailblazer and Dan Heng) at the Loufu. Some kind of Marastruck shenanigans. But obviously the enemy turned out to be tougher than they look and took down the three with its power. Thankfully, both Welt and Jing Yuan were nearby to help. That backfired badly when the enemy attacked them and after back and forth, it had landed hits on both of them, giving them the same sense of depression as everyone else had.

Back on the express, Himeko, MC, and PomPom were getting worried when they hadn’t heard anything from the crew in a while. It took a while, but a distress call was sent to the express. Himeko volunteered to go alone, but MC quickly joined in, saying two people would be better than one.

They quickly found everyone a ways away from the abnormal marastruck. Himeko and MC rushed to help everyone get back on their feet.

“What happened here?” Himeko asked looking over an in agony Welt.

“The marastruck, it’s playing tricks with our minds, making us see what we’re afraid of the most.” Welt explained, clutching his head.

“We need to get everyone far away!”

With Himekos order, MC and Himeko gathered everyone away to a safe distance. But even that didn’t do much to help.

“We need a healer. Jing Yuan, are there any nearby? ” MC asked to the slouched over general.

“Call Lady Bailu, she’ll know what to do…”

Before Himeko or MC could even reach for their phones, the abnormal marastruck found them and charged at them. Himeko tried to hold it back but was hit with a head on blast.

MC stared at the marastruck as it dropped Himekos body down to the ground. It walked slowly towards MC. But to everyone’s surprise, the usually soft spoken and danger avoidant MC stood their ground, showing no fear. Summoning their weapon MC got into a fighting stance, placing their body in front of everyone and acting as a shield.

“You’re… the last one… standing…” the marastruck spoke, its voice distorted. With a flick of its hand, the emotions started to overwhelm everyone further.

MC knew that there was little time left.

“So what’s your power? Being a pain in everyone’s ass? Or being annoying?”

“You speak so highly, SO I’LL MAKE YOU REGRET COMING HERE!!!” the marastruck ran towards the MC, aiming to kill.

“You use your own fear against everyone; wither them down until nothings left of their mind, making them join you.” MC spoke, anger in their voice as they lifted their weapon high and getting ready to fight.

It drew closer, as did its effect on everyone behind MC.

“I hope you had your fun, because this is the last time you make anyone suffer!” MC shouted as they used their weapon, and with one hit, blasted the marastruck into oblivion.

With all their willpower and adrenaline leaving their body, MC collapsed onto the ground panting and crying.

“Is everyone alright?” MC asked, voice cracking in between sobs as they looked towards the equally exhausted group behind them.

Weak ‘all rights’ and thumbs ups were thrown their way.

It took a while for everyone to recover fully. Thankfully, nearby guards had been notified and they rushed to aid everyone. A few days had passed and Jing Yuan had come aboard the express to check in with everyone else.

“Say how did you avoid the power of that abnormal marastruck?” Ying Yuan asked.

“Oh, I didn’t…” MC chuckled anxiously, getting embarrassed from the revealment.

“HUH?! So you powered through it?” March 7th asked with a bewildered expression her face.

“…yes?” MC asked timidly, folding into themselves.

“Please don’t do that again. You could have seriously injured yourself.” Sighing Welt said.

“Forget that! You have to come trailblazing with us again!” March 7th exclaimed.

“Agreed,” Trailblazer spoke, the same excitement on their face.

“No way, that was too much excitement and chaos for one lifetime.” MC spoke, abhorrently denying their further agreement.

“I have to agree to that statement!” PomPom exclaimed, “Who else would help around the express if not MC. We have enough trouble makers as is! You leave my best helper alone!”

Laughing and enjoying everyone’s company, MC looked out of the windows in the parlour car.

“So how did you deal with all of those emotions?” Dan Heng asked.

“Oh I have my ways…” MC replied, a small smile on their face.

As the days passed and the event was slowly going to the backs of everyone’s minds, MC still made sure to check in on everyone. Making Himeko her morning coffee extra warm and comforting, assisting March 7th with getting more secret photos, going on walks with Welt, just enjoying each other’s companies. All of these things carried on just in case someone needed the extra reassurance that everything was fine.

This is beautiful I love it soooooo much I can't wait to get him

I'll show him

"Oh! He thinks he's better than me with his perfect knowledge and his oh so noble! goal of curing ignorance." you growled squeezing your tablet tightly fuming at the previous events that happened.

"Now, now, Y/N. Be careful with that device it holds very important code for the simulated universe and your life" Herta warned while tying away at her screen.

It's been exactly a day since your run-in with Veritas Ratio, or as the Genius Society call him Dr. Ratio. Both of you are different, you excel at computer programming and virtualization, and he excels at- yeah whatever he does. An argument ensued between you and you weren't one to back down from what you believe, and neither was he and so for each point you made he hit you head with his book and made a counter argument to yours. It irked you when you recount the details of yesterday.

"Hello! Give me that tablet before you break it!"

"And if it bothers you that much take up legal action, subpoena him or something. I don't care. I'll pay for the fees." she calmly stated reaching out to the device.

"Her-I mean Madam Herta really!? You will actually do that?"

"Not me, but Asta. I just want to enjoy the scene. That man has caused more trouble. I can't even get my employees to focus without being an emotional wreck. Seriously."

She huffed and walked away muttering something. Well it was food for thought you rubbed your head were you've been hit repeatedly by him.

'Yes. Take legal action'

The next Day

"And what is this?" Veritas asks

"I'm suing you." You stated

"Suing?"

"Yes. You've been served, Veritas Ratio. I suffer from migraine headaches and emotional damages done by you."

You stuffed the paper directly into his face to make it clear to him. He pushed it out of his face as if it were nothing and stared at you. Chilles ran down your back when he looked at you. His gaze didn't hold any malice, just confusion.

"I see. In wanting to educate you about your ignorance, I am subpoenaed. Interesting how childlike your mind is Y/N."

Your eyebrow twitched, "Childlike? Might I remind you who hacked Silverwolf's accounts and had them reported to the IPC and I'm also the one responsible for the coding of the Simulated Universe and all things related to code."

"And so?"

You fumed, your gears stopped turning and started turning in reverse,

"I'm not even gonna bother with you. You'll pay for what you did, Ratio."

He simply laughed as you turned your back on him. Ratio closed his codex and then said something. A theory which you knew like the back of your hand and he taunted you with it.

And so you bickered, he said there's an updated theory and what you simply know is outdated. You weren't gonna lose your ground even if there was an updated one. He's really going to make you defend a theory on basic programming which you live and breathe. NO, not this time. And so, you the least thing anyone or you would do, you took his book and hit him on the head with it. And explained why x + y= z, and whacked him again, and explained another theory which you helped to prove is viable is correct.

You had lost it and he saw it. He was just teasing you with that one, he didn't expect it to go this far that you'd hit him.

"Hey Veritas. 1+1=2. But in programming it's actually ten."

Whack!

The sound of a mechanical door sliding door echoed, Asta walked in on the sigh,

"Oh my! Y/N! Please don't violence doesn't solve anything." she shouted after you trying to stop you.

"Stay out of this Asta. Karma is a bitch and so is he! His karma finally caught up to him now." you said.

"Finally! I wondering when the tables will turn" Herta's high-pitched voice sounded from the corner.

"Madam Herta, stop them."

"No."

When you tried to hit him again, he grabbed your hand and took his book. It doesn't bode well for you.

"My. Must I say I've never seen anyone as fierce as you. I only joked, I just wanted to see your reaction, I didn't know it would go this far" he breathed out.

'Bitch!'

"From the way you're looking at me you just insulted me." he smiled

" 'Course I did. You're a maniac what kind of person goes around curing ignorance by hitting others with a book. It's madness!"

"I do. I Verit.."

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up and just make sure you make it to court on the due date or you could play dumb and ignore it."

You walked away sticking your tongue out and blowing raspberries at him. He could show up or be ignorant it was up to him.

HSR Fanfiction Project: My Tiny Light ~

Good morning, afternoon or evening! Context:

From the start of the version in Penacony, when i saw Aventurine I knew it was very special (apart from another 2d crush on the list haha) it came to my mind, an isekai reader x Aventurine, fanfic. While the story of Penacony progressed with the Trailblazer missions, in my mind I was slowly polishing my idea of this fanfic and with Aventurine's backstory it was largely the final touch of writing this fanfic for fun. I feel like there should be more readers x character being from our world (isekai) so... Here i'm! Trying to sastiface my dear fantasy hehe ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ω⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

｡˚ੈ ~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~ ੈ⋆｡˚

Here is the synopsis of the fanfic (project) My tiny light:

This story begins with our dear reader leaving his house in a fit of rage and going far away when he gets to the subway, until someone pushes him silently from behind on purpose onto the subway tracks so that he "dies." Although his life takes a 360° turn, without any kind of transition after a situation that should have been traumatic, the reader wakes up in the first moment of the Trailblazer's life in a canonical way, just like in the video game.

When he closes his eyes after seeing Kafka leave with Silver Wolf, he hears a mysterious voice that tells to the reader in his mind "Your time here is temporary, your mission is to help the trailblazer on his journey with your knowledge. Good luck little ghost."

｡˚ੈ ~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~ ੈ⋆｡˚

Ok… i was thinking the trailblazer be Stelle body, because I always write the reader like a female, but you can read it like it was Caelus body if you want. So… I have a big existential doubt, I don't know if I should make the ship polygamy (Aventurine x Reader x Ratio) or just monogamy (Aventurine x reader), it's just that they are my two favorite characters and ¡I can't decide! (╥﹏╥)

pd: I didn't forgot my ror fanfic! 😅 I have the script of the 2 chapter but my studies, they take up a lot of my time, I will probably upload it during the winter holidays after the exams. so don't despair!

♡Well have a good day, afternoon or night♡

~Reiko Yukimura~

WOW!! 657 VOTES?! THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS!

After a short wait… the winner is option 1! AVENTURINE X Y/N (ISEKAI READER) X DR. RATIO and from the likes, your comments along with so many people who voted in the poll I can see that you like this HSR fanfic project.

As I said in my first ROR fanfic, I'm going to try to be as faithful as possible to the canonical characters in the video game along with their personalities. I'm also going to develop the bond that is generated with the boys and the reader, it won't be one that they fall in love with each other haha ​​because they don't have that type of behavior (much more Kakavasha for everything that happened to him)… Several of the dialogues will be part of the original story to make it as canonical as possible.

Have a nice day everyone!!

~Reiko Yukimura~

HSR Fanfiction Project: My Tiny Light ~

Good morning, afternoon or evening! Context:

From the start of the version in Penacony, when i saw Aventurine I knew it was very special (apart from another 2d crush on the list haha) it came to my mind, an isekai reader x Aventurine, fanfic. While the story of Penacony progressed with the Trailblazer missions, in my mind I was slowly polishing my idea of this fanfic and with Aventurine's backstory it was largely the final touch of writing this fanfic for fun. I feel like there should be more readers x character being from our world (isekai) so... Here i'm! Trying to sastiface my dear fantasy hehe ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ω⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

｡˚ੈ ~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~ ੈ⋆｡˚

Here is the synopsis of the fanfic (project) My tiny light:

This story begins with our dear reader leaving his house in a fit of rage and going far away when he gets to the subway, until someone pushes him silently from behind on purpose onto the subway tracks so that he "dies." Although his life takes a 360° turn, without any kind of transition after a situation that should have been traumatic, the reader wakes up in the first moment of the Trailblazer's life in a canonical way, just like in the video game.

When he closes his eyes after seeing Kafka leave with Silver Wolf, he hears a mysterious voice that tells to the reader in his mind "Your time here is temporary, your mission is to help the trailblazer on his journey with your knowledge. Good luck little ghost."

｡˚ੈ ~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~ ੈ⋆｡˚

Ok… i was thinking the trailblazer be Stelle body, because I always write the reader like a female, but you can read it like it was Caelus body if you want. So… I have a big existential doubt, I don't know if I should make the ship polygamy (Aventurine x Reader x Ratio) or just monogamy (Aventurine x reader), it's just that they are my two favorite characters and ¡I can't decide! (╥﹏╥)

pd: I didn't forgot my ror fanfic! 😅 I have the script of the 2 chapter but my studies, they take up a lot of my time, I will probably upload it during the winter holidays after the exams. so don't despair!

♡Well have a good day, afternoon or night♡

~Reiko Yukimura~

MY TINY LIGHT HSR FANFIC by tinirainboom

HELLO EVERYONE! I'M BACK WITH A LITTLE NEWS ABOUT THIS PROJECT!

｡˚ੈ ~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~ ੈ⋆｡˚

OK… First of all I'm going to do the whole index of the fanfic so that it's as… organized as possible and with a small synopsis so that I can write each chapter later according to that idea and be able to develop it, also to order the main missions of trailblazer along with their continuations (like for example, the Topaz future market). Of course, I separate everything by sagas because otherwise it's a huge mess due to so much information from the canonical story, although there will also be non-canonical chapters that should give more prominence to the isekai reader of our world to adapt to the HSR universe.

God, I've already done up to chapter 31 finishing with the sagas of the ship of Herta and Jarilo-VI. I still need to do the one of Loufu (I won't do the current continuation mission, since that is after Penacony) and then the most anticipated saga of Penacony.

Now comes the question of Aven and Veri's ages… oh god. I feel (it's an opinion and a small observation from a fan) that currently Kakavasha is around 22 years old and Veritas is around 25. What do you think? Since at one point in the story, I have to put ages because I want to write something related to a "time skip" so to speak.

In the case of Rine, in his past (which is shown in his slave flashbacks where he is downcast) he is a teenager, and I think he would be 17… I searched everywhere to find canon information but there is none 😭😭😭!

Since the year amber is not technically a year but it would be like saying "we are in the 21st century" but not specifically saying like "hey you are in the year such and such :D"… because the tragedy of Sigonia-VI happened in the middle of the current 2157 before the awakening the trailblazer (reading carefully the hsr wiki timeline) but not the exact year 😭😭. If someone knows about that, you can send me a comment here or in private I'll appreciate it!!

In a few days (maybe) I'll be able to publish a preview of the first chapter of this fanfic! YEIY!! ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

｡˚ੈ ~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~ ੈ⋆｡˚

That's all the news guys! I was really surprised by the amount of likes on the previous post about this project along with the feedback from some comments and I can see that you like the idea so I'll try hard!

Have a nice day, afternoon or night ♡(>ᴗ•)

~Reiko Yukimura~

My tiny light, news!!

Hello everyone!! I have a surprise for you guys for those who are looking forward to this HSR isekai fanfic and… I hope you like it hahaha (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ ｡˚ੈ ~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~ ੈ⋆｡˚

TA-DA! THE COVER!!

I was inspired by the way Black Swan and the "woman" (I don't remember her name) standing next to the mirror in the forgotten room can see people's memories. (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ Thanks to the images of the eidolons I was able to generate this idea. This cover will be used on Wattpad and was made on Canva. Stelle is in glitch because technically it won't be her, but the reader. That's why it acts like an error.

｡˚ੈ ~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~⋆✩~☪~ ੈ⋆｡˚

Have a nice day, afternoon or night ♡(>ᴗ•)

~Reiko Yukimura~

lion tamer - jing yuan x reader (12.4k)

it's taken for granted you'll take the job that nobody else wants, whilst the general is indisposed. you just didn't expect things to turn out like this.

cw: not sfw, minors dni. chubby reader. reader is afab but no gendered terms are used. descriptions of raw meat (animals eating), food, pining, fingering, cunnilingus, coming inside. pet names including little bird, darling, little thing. reader is implied to be shorter than jing yuan.

This was a commissioned work.

It’s a quiet whisper, at first - gossip among the lower-downs of the Luofu. You hear it on the fringes and the edges, but you dismiss it as really none of your business; you’re already working harder than most everyone else thanks to the small matter of your far shorter lifespan, and you don’t intend to set yourself back by listening to idle gossip. You have other things to concentrate on; the busywork that you’ve been assigned to as a junior (very junior) member of the Seat of Divine Foresight. 

Really, though they call you a ‘non-administrative support specialist’, you know what you really are; a general dogsbody, somebody to pick up all of the pieces that others sweep by. Still; just getting a position here means you’ve outdone most people, and you hold in your heart the idea that you could get even further up this ladder of success if you simply tried hard enough. You’ve heard tell that even some of the long-life species haven’t managed to make it as far as actually working within the Seat itself, so really . . . you can’t help but feel a little proud of yourself. 

Which is why you choose to ignore the swirling rumour about your esteemed Arbiter-General until you’re called into a meeting with Yong Hai himself. 

(The General is sick, the rumours say. The General may not last another day. The General’s laziness has caught up with him, the General may not make it, and what will we all do then--)

“So,” Yong Hai says, all business. “You’ve probably heard about it already.”

There’s a flare of disquiet in your gut; that the gossip and the rumours you’ve been so steadfastly avoiding are true. You don’t know what the Luofu would do with General Jing Yuan; you cannot imagine the ship and the world without him, when he has been such a stolid presence - and the way that the general public will react doesn’t bear thinking about--

“Stop that,” Yong Hai says, with an amused look in his eye even as he fights to keep his mouth in a firm, commanding line. “It’s not as bad as people are saying. The General has simply . . . contracted something that he isn’t bouncing back as quickly from as we’d hoped. We’ve had to send him off to the Alchemy Commission for a few days, just to see if we can work out how to help . . .” The secretary catches himself, clearly remembering he’s talking to someone who amounts to little more than custodial staff. He coughs. “Anyway. It’s left us in a bit of a conundrum, and after some discussion, we think you’re qualified to handle it.”

You tilt your head to the side as you try and think what you could possibly do to assist in this matter.

You’re no healer; you’re no nurse. You can’t help them figure out how to cure the General, you’re not equipped to sit at his bedside and mop his feverish brow (your cheeks go hot and your face burns at the very thought of it). You certainly can’t take over any of Jing Yuan’s actual duties. The idea of you as any kind of military strategist is laughable--

“How can I help, Sir?” You ask, partly because that is what’s expected of you and partly because you really have no idea what use you’ll be in the situation. 

“Ah,” he says, and then he coughs again - he looks into the corner of the room, as if he’s begging someone to help him, and you remember that he and his sister are most often found together. But here, it’s just the two of you, and he has nobody to help him to break whatever news he’s going to break to you. You hope it’s not going to involve cleaning up a sick-room; you’re really not good with that kind of thing--

“We need somebody to tend to his home affairs,” Yong Hai says, eventually. “He . . . Ah, look, I’m going to come out and say it. General Jing Yuan has a penchant for taking in stray animals and the like, and he only even agreed to let himself be looked at on the caveat we had to promise to find someone to look after them.”

You think of the statues of lions that decorate the place, and you feel a trickle of cold sweat down the back of your spine. You hope desperately that the secretary isn’t implying that you’re about to quite literally be fed to the lions--

“Stop looking like that!” He says, exasperated. “All of them are perfectly tame, and you’ll be in no danger. He has a . . . lion that he’s incredibly fond of. Several birds. And . . . ah,” he looks embarrassed again. “He’s informed us he usually leaves out a veritable feast for any other neighbourhood strays on his balcony, and he was very worried that they weren’t going to be properly nourished whilst he was away.”

Finches. You can do that. Neighbourhood strays - cats and dogs, you suppose - are all very well. But the lion . . .

That doesn’t matter. Yong Hai seems to have reached the end of his meeting with you, to his tangible relief. He’s already bustling about his desk and looking longingly towards the closed door. 

“A new schedule’s been drawn up for you and sent to you already,” he says. “All of the relevant information should be in the attachments! Have fun, won’t you? The General is so very fond of his pets, you see--”

Your phone beeps as if it is punctuating his point; the secretary beams at you, and you get the distinct impression you are being told to put your best foot forward and roll with the punches. ‘Get on with it’, as someone without any manners might say. 

“Understood,” you say, and you force yourself to smile and look on the bright side of things even if you’re sure you’re going to have nightmares about being eaten alive by a lion tonight. This is a post that the General wanted filled personally! This is almost as personal as someone can get to the General, actually; it appears you’ll be working in his actual home! It’s a . . . a step up! A stepping stone!

You force yourself to ignore that it is actually very much a case of sticking the lowest ranked person (and someone well-known for taking on as much as they can with cheerful aplomb, due to your fear of ever really saying ‘no’) onto the job that nobody else wants to do. 

“I’ll do my best,” you say, and Yong Hai beams at you even as he gestures for you to go and get to grips with your new role. 

Well. 

You have no other choice then, really, but to Get On With It. 

You are quite frankly terrified the next day, when you turn up to your newest duty. The documents sent to you had instructed you to pick up raw meat for the lion from the General’s most trusted supplier before you went up to his chambers; apparently, birdseed and cat-and-dog food was kept there, but the lion’s appetite could not so easily be sated. You have to give yourself a pep-talk before all of it; have to convince yourself that running away from this new responsibility would be both awful for your career prospects and terribly cruel.

“Ah,” says the supplier, when you turn up and tremulously hand over your phone so he can see the attachments displayed on the screen giving you this new Meat Power, “So you’re looking after the waifs and strays and Mimi, then?” 

“Mimi?” You ask, your voice tremulous, and he laughs as he hands over two incredibly full buckets of raw meat. It’s a good job you’re not squeamish. 

“That’s the lion,” he says. “The General tried to name her Snow Lion after he realised she wasn’t just going to be a pretty little white housecat, but . . . Mimi fits. You’ll see!”

The concept of Jing Yuan attempting to adopt a pretty little white house cat and being saddled instead with a huge lion, and having to continue to refer to the powerful beast as ‘Mimi’ despite his best efforts, keeps you entertained right up until you’re outside the door to the General’s chambers and you remember that a carnivorous predator awaits you on the other side of it.

“Well,” you say to yourself, hoisting the buckets up and taking a deep breath, “there’s no point delaying the inevitable. If I get eaten today . . .”

And you let the pass-key you’ve been given float against the sensor, until the ornate doors to Jing Yuan’s chambers slowly part and admit you into the Arbiter-General’s inner sanctum. 

The first thing that you’re struck by is how it seems that the General left in a rush. The entire place, whilst not dirty, has an air of untidiness. You hear the cheeping of finches from the first room; excitement that their Master may have finally returned to play with them. You can’t help but feel sorry for them - from what Yong Hai has said, it may be quite a while before Jing Yuan is well enough to return to his home. 

There are touches of the General everywhere, now that you’re looking. Delicate flowers (you’ve heard he likes small, delicate things, and you can’t help the nervous tug at your clothing as you consider just how indelicate you find yourself). Ceramics and porcelain that you fear are so fragile they may shatter even under your gaze. An unfinished game of star chess, a coffee cup left half-drunk . . . That last one could fetch a fine price in the black market. You’ve heard those traders hawking ‘tissues used by Helm Master Yukong’ or even ‘a book enjoyed by General Jing Yuan’s protege!’. 

Before your mind can lead you too far down that dangerous path, though, the lady of the hour appears. 

She’s beautiful. 

You have to stop yourself gasping aloud. Any fears you might have had seem to fall to the wayside, unimportant, compared to the majesty of the lion before you; the pure white fur, the wise face, the mane that fluffs out from her. She’s pure white; lean, but perhaps with a little pouch at the tummy. Not a single snarl or tangle mars her fur, not a single speck of dirt upon her, like the false moon looking down upon the Luofu--

She sees that you’re holding two big buckets and seems to recognise them, because it’s barely a breath before her ears twitch and she pounces like a kitten, seemingly not realising that you are smaller than her owner and she is far larger than the average kitten is. All of the wind is knocked out of you as you cry out her name and are tackled to the ground. 

You find yourself beneath the warmth of her body, a sweet scent emanating from her fur as if the esteemed General regularly bathes and shampoos her. Delighted, she sticks her snout right into one of the buckets. A low, pleased rumble emits from her throat as she works her teeth over the meat--

You reach up, hesitantly, with the one arm that isn’t pinned by the great weight of her. Your fingers hover for a moment, unsure of what to do - is she like a cat? Does she prefer chin scratches or ear scratches?

You settle for a very light pet at the side of her mane, just by her face. Her fur is just as soft as you had thought she would be - a lady who is clearly incredibly spoilt. Well-cared for. You have another flash of a vision of Jing Yuan - combing her mane, tying a shiny ribbon about her neck to match the ribbon he wears in his own hair. 

Mimi pauses in her enjoyment of the food. Your breath catches in your throat, all of your senses on a sudden high alert - what if she didn’t like being touched like that? What if she’s about to mistake your hand for a part of the buffet you’ve brought her?

A moment that seems like an hour passes.

And then she leans into your hand with a pleased rumble-squeak-growl, her eyes closing in pleasure, and despite how your heart is beating and your legs are aching from the way she’s twisted them and trapped them beneath her . . . you smile. 

For the first week, every time you let yourself into Jing Yuan’s space, you are alone aside from the animals he keeps there. Mimi launches herself at you, but you’ve learnt to sidestep and laugh and ruffle her mane, offering her choice little tidbits to curl up and gnaw on her food whilst you see to the strays that congregate on Jing Yuan’s balcony. They had taken a little longer to warm to you, but after the second day when it became clear if they wanted the same food Jing Yuan usually prepared they would have to come to you, they had thawed considerably. You leave them to their devices, and finish off with the finches. 

They hop from place to place in their cage, cheeping brightly. Sometimes they hop onto your finger or your shoulder, looking at you like you’re the most wonderful being in the universe. Once one had hopped onto your head and you’d stayed stock-still for five minutes, afraid of disturbing it. 

After all of the pets and animals are fed, you’ve gotten into the habit of sitting with them for a little while. Curling around Mimi and stroking her mane and her tail (you’ve braided it, actually, and told her how pretty she looks with little red ribbons in her fur as she blinked at you her slow, lazy blinks). Listening to birdsong. Letting the strays rub about your feet and imagining the Arbiter-General himself doing all of these mundane tasks. 

It’s strange, to think of him as so . . . so much a real person. General Jing Yuan has always seemed a man of mystery and just a touch of romance to you; a long life species who has outlived almost everyone he’s ever worked with, who has steered the Luofu into glories and battled bravely and heroically against Abundance abominations for longer than you’ve been alive. The first time you’d met him, when you’d gotten your place at the Seat of Divine Foresight (before you’d quite found out how meagre your duties really were), you’d been utterly tongue-tied. 

He’d been charming, naturally. Smiling and charismatic and low and pleasant-voiced, saying how glad he was to have you aboard and how he hoped you would enjoy your time here. There’d been, perhaps, a flash of sadness in his eye at the knowledge you were a short-life species-- but you’d quickly tried to dispel that notion, scolding yourself for your own romanticism. Jing Yuan is your colleague, your boss - better to not harbour such idealism, to make him into a storybook character instead of a man. 

Still. It’s rather hard to imagine him out of breath, puffing and wheezing, after pulling the bucket Mimi had gotten her paw stuck in off of the silly lion’s foreleg before she sent herself into a panic. 

You think that the menagerie that he keeps in his private quarters have grown fond of you in turn. The task that everyone had seemed to find so onerous quickly becomes one of your favourite parts of the day; there is something to be said about the healing properties to the soul of having a lion roll over to show you her tummy and wiggle enticingly until you give in to her and give her all of the rubs and tickles that she so clearly desires. 

So for about a week and a half, everything chugs along; you fall into routine, and the animals recognise you in turn. They sometimes still crane their necks and heads hopefully around you to see if Jing Yuan is around (Mimi especially occasionally looks dejected at his absence, though her ears perk up once again as soon as she remembers the buckets you come bearing are filled with delicious morsels for her), but when it is just you they still seem somewhat satisfied. 

Nobody gives you any warning that Jing Yuan has returned to his own rooms. 

Which is why you walk into the main room with your buckets swinging on your arms, singing a silly little song you’ve composed for Mimi about how the meat is soon to be ‘delicious and yummy’ in her ‘full-up-tummy’, you’re so surprised to hear a velvet soft chuckle floating from the big circular sofa in the centre of it that you almost drop all of those delicious-and-yummy steaks and thighs all over Jing Yuan’s ornately tiled floor. 

You stare at the sofa, your cheeks going all-over hot, as a mass of blankets moves and shifts and a slightly ruffled pale head emerges from them.

The General himself. 

It’s obvious, looking at him, that he hasn’t been feeling his best. His normally tied up hair falls over his face in unstyled sweeps, there are dark circles beneath his eyes and a sharpness to his cheekbones that you have never noticed before. Instead of the armour you have grown so used to seeing him clad in, he wears civilian clothes; a loose shirt that shows off the lines of his throat, his collarbone. 

Despite all of that, though, he is still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. Your heart still skips a beat. He takes you in for a moment, his face scrunched up as if he is not quite awake; and then, a small smile spreads over his handsome face. 

“Don’t stop on my account,” he says, in that low, musical voice. “I’d like to know where the song has to go, after her tummy has been filled.”

“I’m so sorry,” you blurt out, awkward, nervous, unsure of what to say. “I-- nobody told me you’d be back, I can leave, I didn’t mean to--”

He holds up a lazy hand, the smile still on his face. His eyes are half-lidded, his overall look almost indulgent.

“Please,” he says. “I’m . . . better, but not fully recovered. I’ve been given strict instructions that I'm not to lift heavy objects or do anything more than relax for at least another week. I’d be much obliged - if it’s not too much trouble on top of your own duties, of course - if you could carry on seeing to my . . . what did they call it?” Another small, secret smile. “Ah yes. My little zoo.” 

“I-if you’re sure . . .” You say, surprised to find when you say it aloud that you’re relieved. You truly have gotten attached to all of the animals, even in this short time. 

Mimi butts your leg, impatient for her food, her huge paw petulantly tapping upon the floor. Jing Yuan laughs again, and you feel your stomach clench at the warm sound as it fills the room. 

“Oh, she likes you,” he says, in delight. “I’ve never seen her be so patient with anyone but myself, you know.”

“She’s been friendly since I met her,” you reply, reaching down to scratch her behind her ears and to place the buckets somewhere she won’t make such a mess (though she’s actually a fairly fastidious eater, for someone with no thumbs; you suppose she’s so proud of her lovely white coat that she doesn’t want to risk staining it).

Jing Yuan hums in consideration, his smile not leaving his face, as he watches you pet Mimi and her affectionate head bump before she dives back into her food. As you move into the other sitting room - the one that the finches reside in - you hear more rustling, and as you gather the birdseed you’re surprised to see that Jing Yuan is following you, sloping afterwards determinedly. There’s a definite tilt to his walk - the walk of a man who’s been in bed for a week - and you can’t help but say something.

“Sh-should you be out of bed, General?” You wince at the slight admonishment in your tone, fearing he will think you’re scolding him - but Jing Yuan simply smiles. 

“I need to check on my sweet little charges,” he says. “Come now. I’ve been in bed for days. Let me wander about my own rooms without worrying your pretty head too much about it, alright?”

It takes all of your grace not to turn into a pathetic, embarrassed mess at the easy way he says ‘your pretty head’ - somehow, you manage to keep your composure, keep some measure of poise, even as inside you feel yourself turn to mush. 

He sits down upon a chaise by the birdcages as you reach in to fill the small bowls and scatter the feed, his eyes not leaving you for a second. He smiles when he sees a finch or two hop upon your hand to peck at the seeds and bits left in the crevices of your palm. 

“A true animal whisperer,” he says, watching one of the more inquisitive finches hop up to your wrist and your forearm to tug teasingly at your elbow-length sleeves. “They’re not too fond of strangers, either.”

“I have been feeding them for a week, Sir,” you say to him, with a smile at the finch as you urge it off of your arm and back to the rest of its friends. “They’ve gotten used to me.”

He shakes his head, his hair falling about his shoulders, and you’re struck with the thought that he and Mimi even look similar. You’ve heard the old adage about how pet owners and their pets grow to look the same, of course, but you’d never realised quite how true it was until that moment and the sight of Jing Yuan doing a motion you’ve grown used to Mimi doing. 

He follows, too, as you take food and water onto the balcony. As cats wind around first your ankles, and then his - as dogs wag their tails and lick at your hands. 

“If I were a jealous man . . .” He says, laughing. “They must see something truly special in you.”

“Me?” You ask, aiming for a tinkly laugh but landing on ‘incredulous’. “No, they’re just sweet creatures. All of them are.”

He’s unerringly patient with the animals; his big hands tender as they scratch ears and tickle chins. Seeing the great General being so delicate makes your heart turn over in your chest; his big, scarred hands in direct opposition to the delicate bones and the soft fluff of all of the creatures that mass here. 

“Don’t be so modest,” Jing Yuan says quietly in reply. “I’ve known some of these animals for years. If they didn’t think you were something special . . .” 

Your cheeks are hot again. Somehow, in the course of this conversation, Jing Yuan has gotten closer and closer to you. Out here on the balcony, under the warm false sun of the Luofu, there’s nowhere for Jing Yuan to sit and watch - so he’s stood close to you. Close enough that you can see the warm gold amber of his gaze, the fan of his lashes, the mole high up beneath his eye. You swallow, and the sound is almost indecently loud even with the background mewls and barks and purrs. 

“I’m glad that they found someone so able to do this for me,” he says, his voice still quiet. That single word, those single two syllables, somehow manage to be imbued with more meaning than you’d ever imagined they could be. “I’ll be looking forward to seeing you.”

“Just until you’re feeling a bit better,” you reply, cheeks still hot, throat still sore, heart still beating far too fast in your chest. You wonder what Jing Yuan is thinking as he looks down at you - if he has noticed your anxiety, the way that he seems to set you all aflutter. You hope he thinks it is merely because he is your superior, and not because it’s so very hard not to dwell on his looks and his warm voice and the surprisingly different persona that he shows when he’s doing this--

Jing Yuan is still smiling at you, from back on the sofa covered in his blankets with Mimi spread out protectively over his feet, as you foolishly wave goodbye and leave his chambers. 

You get to witness Jing Yuan’s recovery firsthand. The first few days, he is still unsure of his own limbs; he still slowly lopes around the rooms. Once or twice, you come in to feed the animals and he stays wrapped within his blankets, Mimi only leaving his side to demand some cuddles and some meat from you. 

Despite his illness, though, he always has time to talk to you. He always asks you how you are feeling, what you have been doing; he teases you for how the animals seem to recognise you just as well as him now. When one of the finches pecks at your cheek, he chuckles and says;

“Ah, wouldn’t we all like to give our little bird a kiss like that?”

You don’t know how to respond to that, ducking your head, muttering something unintelligible that wins another of his laughs. His words err on the edge of being flirtatious. Once or twice he compliments your outfit, your hair - how lovely you look today. You never know how to react to such things; you force yourself not to dwell on them, reminding yourself of Jing Yuan’s own looks and his position and trying to tell yourself not to get attached and that the General is merely trying to be polite. 

One afternoon, he asks you to sit with him and have tea. 

It would be rude of you to say no; not when he has placed two teacups before him, anticipating your acceptance, a plate of sweet treats in an amount that would be gluttonous even for him arranged with the tea service. So you try and gracefully position yourself across from him. You try and remember your manners as you take the cup by the handle, as you choose the least ornamented and sugary of the delicacies on offer--

(It’s hard not to remember being told not to indulge at all. You feel conscious of eating in front of him--)

“Have this one,” Jing Yuan says, as if he can read your mind, and he pushes towards you an intricately decorated little cake resplendent with sugar roses and ruffles. “It’s one of my favourites.”

Your mouth waters. You give him an embarrassed smile as he encourages you further, reaching over to pick it up himself and place it upon your plate instead of merely pushing it.

“Really?” You ask, trying to pick it up neatly. “It’s a bit more delicate than I thought you’d like. I suppose I imagined you liking things a little rougher--”

Your face goes hot as you realise what you just said, but Jing Yuan ignores the innuendo and simply smiles at you. 

“Ah,” he says. “I like things that are . . . delicate. Smaller than me. So lovely to observe and enjoy, don’t you think?” His gaze doesn’t leave your face. You have never considered yourself delicate - the curves that you display have put an end to that - but under his eyes, you can’t help but think of the breadth of his shoulders and his height and think how a man like him could make even you feel small and breakable. “What do you think?”

The little cake is sweet on the tongue, flavoured with a hint of something you can’t quite name. Your eyes widen in surprise. 

“It’s wonderful,” you tell him, swallowing the bite and enjoying how the taste lingers. “Truly.”

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it,” he says - and then, he reaches over the table. “You have something--” 

You go stock-still, embarrassed and shocked at the intimacy of the gesture, as he uses his thumb to wipe a smudge of icing from the corner of your mouth. He keeps your gaze the whole time. It is something a lover does - it is not something you’d ever expected General Jing Yuan to do for you--

“There,” he says, returning to his cake as if nothing has happened. “It would be a terrible shame if I couldn’t see all of your lovely face, after all.” 

He is always saying things like this; off-the-cuff remarks that, if he were not the General of the Xianzhou Luofu, you would interpret as being flirty. He mentions them when you have tea together, when he ropes you into playing a game of star chess (“Don’t think I will go easy on you because you are nice to look at,” he says, as he places the counters into their starting positions), when he watches you and Mimi and you and the finches and tells you that he cannot decide which is cuter. 

You see him get gradually stronger and stronger. No more limping. He is almost always dressed, now. His hair no longer falls in shaggy waves about his face. His dark circles dissipate, his voice getting somehow even deeper and more velvety. 

The unspoken reality that soon, Jing Yuan will be well and you will no longer have to take on this extra duty hangs over your head.

You find that the idea makes you feel sick. You are not only enjoying caring for the animals, now, but you’ve also started to look forward to seeing the General. 

Well.

That’s not quite it.

You have to be honest with yourself, don’t you? 

You’ve developed a crush on him. 

You can’t imagine not seeing him. Not being greeted with Mimi’s butts and her batting paws; not hearing the pleased chirps of his finches whenever they see you. Not enjoying tea with him any more, simply existing in this lazy golden time when you do not have to think about work or his position above you or anything other than the four walls that surround you and the multiple hearts beating within it. 

Jing Yuan brings it up first.

“I’ve been thinking,” he says, coughing one day after the two of you have played a game of star chess that you were thoroughly destroyed during. “Well. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m getting better.”

“I’m glad to see it, Sir,” you say, forcing a smile to your face even as your heart falls into the region of your feet. “We were all very worried about you. Everyone is always asking me how you are and when you’ll be returning to work--”

His face clouds, a flinch so quick you almost miss it.

“Yes,” he says, a mournful tone to his voice. “I’ll soon be returning to work.”

You tell yourself sternly not to cry. This was never supposed to be permanent. 

“Then I suppose you won’t need me any longer,” you say, forcing a smile on your face. You are going to be gracious if it kills you.

“Ah,” Jing Yuan replies. “That’s what I’d like to talk to you about. I . . . we are all very fond of you, you see.” He motions to Mimi, who has come to curl beside you, her head laid against your knee. “I fear Mimi will riot if you were to stop bringing her all of those steaks, you understand. And who knows what she’d do, deprived of your song about her tummy?”

You squeak in embarrassment. Mimi lifts her head and gives you a slow, displeased look, much to Jing Yuan’s amusement. 

“Well. I’m very aware that it’s not part of your duties, and I’d be willing of course to pay you more for all of the trouble, but--” 

You see Jing Yuan falter for one of the first times; as if he is afraid that you are about to reject him outright. He coughs, trying to hide his anxiety, but it is an emotion you’re intimately familiar with and as such you recognise it for what it is. 

“We’re all so very fond of you,” he repeats. “Won’t you keep coming?”

You barely leave a breath before you’re happily agreeing. 

It’s not quite the same. 

You knew it wouldn’t be; you knew that you wouldn’t see Jing Yuan anywhere near as often, as he resumed all of the many duties that the Arbiter-General has to take on. Despite how unenthused he had seemed to be returning to his work, you knew that Jing Yuan took his responsibilities terribly seriously). 

Still.

You had thought you might see him more. Might still be able to drink a cup of tea with him, even if it could not be the same kind of slow, languid time the two of you had taken over it before. You’d thought that there’d still be time for a conversation or two. 

The reality is that you almost never see the General now. 

At work, your paths had crossed only rarely; now, hyper-aware of his presence, you realise that you see him almost never. Not at work, and not at his own home. 

You’re still excited to see the animals - for the finches to happily chirp at you as if they’re telling you about their day. One of them rides about on your shoulder, now, even when you go out to feed the strays. You’re still excited to tell Mimi what a good girl she is and rub her tummy and play with her (she’s inordinately fond of ribbons and the chasing thereof, like an overgrown housecat). 

But without Jing Yuan there . . .

There’s something missing. 

You still do your duties as well as you can - Jing Yuan has negotiated a hefty raise for you, all things considered - but you can’t help sometimes leaving his home feeling a little empty at the lack of seeing the General. You can’t help being disconsolate as you think about him - as you remember his flirty little asides, the way he’d looked at you across the room, the smile that played across his mouth whenever he did. You know he couldn’t really be interested in you, that he was probably like that with most people - but a secret little flame cannot help but burn in your heart even so. 

Days pass, quiet, lonely. You work, and feed the animals, and go home to your own empty quarters. You work, feed, go home, work, feed, go home--

Until one evening, when you’re just about to leave Jing Yuan’s chambers, when the door opens and the General appears. He looks a little red in the face; his breath comes in short little pants. You’ve never seen him so obviously flustered; usually, Jing Yuan fits perfectly up to his reputation as the Drowsy General. 

“Are you alright?” You ask him, rushing over. You’re touching him before you’ve thought through consequences; finger hovering over his pulse point, reaching up to feel his forehead to make sure he’s not running a temperature. Through the panting, he looks at you and smiles. 

“I’m afraid,” he says, still breathing heavily, his voice rasping. “I made up a little lie to be able to get back here on an errand that doesn’t really exist.”

“General,” you scold him. It’s not like him to shirk responsibilities. He laughs. 

“Yes, yes, I know, little thing-- but I had to see you. I wanted to see you again.”

You think he’s misspoken.

“I have to get back,” he says, and he reaches down - his hands upon your cheek again. You don’t know how to reply, what to say, what is going on. All you know is that you are there, and Jing Yuan is there, and something is happening. Fizzing on the air is a promise that something is going to change. “But . . . I couldn’t-- I needed to finally--”

Jing Yuan kisses you. 

It’s a kiss as messy and rushed as he is right now. A kiss that says that he has to hurry back, despite how much he doesn’t want to. You, unused to being kissed and even more unused to being kissed by handsome military leaders who feel a hundred times out of your league, do not kiss him back. He’s messy and wet, and his teeth clash against your lips as you stand there, feeling foolish and wrong-footed.

He realises you’re not kissing him back, and he stops - he draws back, his eyebrows furrowed. He opens his mouth to speak. 

He’s going to say it was a mistake, you realise. He’s going to say he thought you were someone else, that he was carried away in the heat of the moment. You and Jing Yuan? No. It couldn’t be. It’s absurd, it’s silly, nobody could ever believe it - and yet.

And yet.

Your heart couldn’t take his rejection.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out - and you push past him and out of the door and back towards the comforting ordinary normality of your own empty rooms. 

Despite your embarrassment, fear and all of those other emotions keeping you up all night, when you wake up the next morning you know that things will be worse the more you put them off. So you get dressed for work and you thank Lan that, when you walk into the Seat of Divine Foresight, Jing Yuan is nowhere to be seen. 

You hope he is hard at work, far away from you. You cannot quite face him yet. You haven’t properly said goodbye to your foolish dreams. 

You can’t shirk your other duties either, so at the ordinary time you stand up from your desk (you’ve somehow been saddled with the job of reviewing paperwork for grammar inconsistencies. You feel certain there ought to be software of some sort that does this job for you, but it had been laid here on your desk when you’d gotten to it and you were not in the habit of arguing about your duties), and you head to the designated supplier of raw meats for Mimi’s consumption.

“Oh,” says the supplier, the evening after Jing Yuan had finagled a way to see you. “He told me to let you know to go straight up today.” 

You frown, not quite sure why; you hope Mimi is alright. It feels strange to be going towards Jing Yuan’s home without your arms weighed down with buckets of meat, but you push forward even so. You hope last night - the awkward kiss, the way he had looked at you - does not sour things between the two of you. You hope that he isn’t about to tell you to never come back. Your heart makes a new home, somewhere in the vicinity of your throat, as you hesitantly knock upon his door.

A beat passes. Your mind helpfully provides you with all of the ways in which Jing Yuan could be about to fire you - or worse, let you down gently and admit that he had a moment of weakness. In that moment, you suddenly seem so much more aware than before of yourself - of the unfashionable curves, of the amount of space you take up, of how a man like Jing Yuan could surely not have really wanted to kiss someone like you - and then, he has opened the door and he is smiling at you and he doesn’t look angry.

Instead, upon seeing you there, a smile passes across his face; tugs at the corners of his lips, crinkles the corners of his eyes.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come,” he says to you - and he reaches across the threshold and his hand brushes your cheek, as soft and tender with you as he is with his finches. “I’m sorry if I frightened you last night.”

“I’m sorry I ran,” tumbles out of your mouth. “I just . . . I didn’t think you-- and somebody like me-- and I was afraid--”

He lays a finger over your lips, still smiling. 

“It’s alright,” he says, in that low, smooth voice. “I’m sorry if I caused you undue trouble, little bird.” The pet name falls from his lips as easily as any other trifle, though it makes you feel hot and aware of yourself and flattered all at once. “Please come in.”

He takes your hand to gently urge you across the threshold, his touch still feather light. You think, as he does it, of all of the other things those hands have done; all of the battles they have waged, all of the strength that must be contained within them despite how gentle his touch is now. 

“I’ve asked someone else to take care of the animals,” he says to you, not letting go of your hand as he leads you through the front room. You realise with a start exactly where he is taking you as he approaches a door you have never had reason to open before. He looks at you, eyes keen and golden. “I wanted us to be alone. I would hope, little bird, if you do not want this . . .” 

“I do,” tumbles from your mouth. It is nothing but the honest truth. You let the crush that you’ve been trying to deny, the fear of Jing Yuan not liking you or finding you attractive, the anxieties of not being good enough, all wash over you, in favour of the beating of your heart and the feel of his hand on your face and the sight of his hand upon the doorknob of his bedroom. 

He turns fully so he stands before you. Hands come up, cradling your face; thumbs brushing the plump apples of your cheek, fingertips upon the soft flesh. He is smiling still, even as he dips his head lower, so low you can see the multitudes of swirling shades of gold in his eyes. 

“Promise me,” he murmurs, low and soft. “Tell me you want me the way I want you. No expectations, little one. Your career, your position, your everything - nothing will change if you do not want me as badly as I desire you. Honesty.” You realise a tear has escaped from the corner of your eye. You have never felt so . . . seen. So very much wanted. So sure of anything in your life. He wipes that tear with his thumb, tilting your face closer to him so that if you just angled your head differently you could kiss him. “Promise me.” 

“I promise,” you whisper, and Jing Yuan’s lips meet yours. 

This kiss is entirely unlike the one from yesterday; this kiss is slow, luxurious. Jing Yuan starts off gentle with you, his hand still cupping your jaw - his lips moving against yours in slow, indolent waves. He nips at your bottom lip with his teeth and wins a gasp from you, a hitch of your breath, as your own hands come up to rest lightly upon his chest. You feel his mouth curve into a smile against your own. 

“You’re adorable,” he rumbles, pulling back just enough that you can still feel his breath on your face. “Truly - you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this to you.”

“I--” You helplessly stare up at him. You can barely believe this is happening, as he pushes open the door to his most private of domains. “Really?”

He laughs again, gently taking your arm and urging you into the room. You are helpless to do anything but follow him - to let him slowly, slowly, slowly pull you beside him and onto his bed. 

“You really have no idea how . . . desirable you are?” He asks, voice low and husky, humming with want. His hand skims over your cheek, the nape of your neck, following the line of your jaw and your throat to linger over your collarbone. His eyes follow the path his fingers take, not moving from your form for an instant. “You really didn’t notice me staring at you, little bird?” He leans in, close enough for his breath to tickle your ear. His lips brush over the pulse point in your neck, making you squeak in surprise again even as it sends a bolt of heat to the space between your legs. “Imagining what you would feel like under my hands? Imagining what you would look like, divested of that maddeningly conservative uniform they make you wear?” Another kiss, this one with a hint of teeth. You realise with a hot flush of embarrassment mixed with want you have cried out at the sensation of the almost-bite. “Imagining how you would react to every touch I gave you?” 

“Sir,” you pant, dazed and amazed and hot and needy. “I-- I thought about you, too--”

“Oh,” he murmurs, as his big fingers slide over your body, feeling the ample shape of you through that same conservative uniform. His big palms brush the soft chub of your upper arms, the meat of your chest, the shape of your waist and over the curve of your hips, basely appreciating your body even beneath the fabric. “I’m sure they were no match for the utterly filthy things I imagined doing to you.” 

His thumb digs into the indent of your waist, tugging you closer to him so that you’re pressed tighter against his body. He smiles down at you, every inch the conquering general, and your heart beats in time with the pounding between your legs. He looks at you like he wants to devour you. Wanting and hungry and lustful, like you’re the most delicious thing he’s ever seen. It’s not a look you’re overly familiar with receiving - but oh, does it feel amazing to be on the receiving end of it from Jing Yuan. 

“Such a fragile thing,” he murmurs down to you, and you almost laugh, for you do not feel fragile - but Jing Yuan continues speaking, and you get lost in the dulcet tone of his voice. “So very mortal. So very ephemeral . . .” He sighs, dips his head and kisses you again, a flurry of pecks upon your lips as his thumb draws circles where it rests. “Will you let me make the most of having you, little bird? Let me show you how beautiful you are?” He smiles. “I have always had a weakness for delicate things.” 

He means it. 

Any time you have ever felt too big; ungainly, or ill-shaped - all of it falls to the wayside under the warm haze of being looked at and admired and wanted by Jing Yuan. You find yourself smiling up at him, aware you probably look as though there is not a thought in your head, but the General doesn’t seem to mind as he looks at you with hunger colouring his gaze. 

“May I undress you?” He asks, voice low and cajoling. His fingers tease beneath the neckline of your uniform, and it feels as though they leave a trail of fire everywhere they linger. You do not trust yourself to speak; you nod at him, your breath coming out in short little pants. He makes a soft noise of approval, before his fingers are working at buttons and fabric. Cool air hits your bare skin; your uniform is gently cajoled off of your body, tossed aside to be worried about later as Jing Yuan’s hungry eyes drink in every new inch of your exposed skin. 

He does not stop praising you as he does it.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, as your top half is bared, as his eyes roam over your chest and his hands come up and squeeze the generous curve of them, palms rough against delicate skin. You shiver as his thumbs find your nipples, as they rub over them again and again until the buds stiffen beneath his touch and a soft whine escapes the back of your throat. “You’re beautiful.”

His tone is nothing if not worshipful. By slow, luxurious degrees, Jing Yuan helps divest you of your garments. As your underwear and bottoms are rolled down, as fabric bunches at thighs and knees, he does not stop murmuring sweet nothings about how soft you are, how beautiful, how lucky he is to be able to see you like this. 

About how he has been thinking about having you like this since the moment he saw you. 

“You looked so beautiful then too,” he murmurs, as your underwear is pulled from your ankles. He briefly gazes at it, the gusset saturated with your slick, and he smiles. “Ah . . . that little song, the nervous, shy reaction to realising I was there - the sight of you all soft-eyed and adoring with Mimi . . . I’ve never wanted to have my wicked way with somebody quite so much.” 

You’re bare beneath him, Jing Yuan slowly urging you to lay down upon the coverlets of his large bed. You suppose that it’s so large so that if Mimi desires to sleep with him, she can, but it alongside Jing Yuan’s own size simply helps you feel small and delicate and breakable in a way you never have before. 

“I wanted to know,” Jing Yuan murmurs, leaning down and brushing his lips over yours, teasing and feather-light. “If you would be quite so adorable, squirming and nervous and vulnerable, if I were to have you like this.”

Your cheeks are hot. Jing Yuan has not lost a single garment of his own, but you are entirely unguarded to whatever he wants to do to you now - bare of every scrap of fabric. His gaze lingering on your body almost makes you want to draw in; to curl around the exposed flesh of your stomach, to cover the pudge. 

Jing Yuan notices something in the way you hold yourself. He smiles down at you and cups your cheek.

“Don’t hide,” he breathes. “I want to see all of you, little thing. I want you to know how beautiful I find you.”

“I--”

He takes your hand in his, shifting so he is on his knees between your legs. Gently, he guides your unsure hand to the space over his own crotch. Even through the layers of fabric, you can sense the heat of him; the stiffness pushing against his trousers.

“If I did not want you,” he says, “why would you make me so needy, hmm? Feel what you do to me.” He presses your hand a little harder against it, a soft hiss of breath escaping him, encouraging you to not simply take his word for it. Your face hot as ever, you do so; give a gentle squeeze that makes him groan. “Ah-- be careful, sweet thing. I want to take my time over you.”

He lets go of your hand, gently urging you to place it back beside you. Your fingers find purchase in his sheets. You still cannot quite believe where you are; that it’s the great Arbiter-General leaning over you, looking down at you like you’re the most beautiful thing that he’s ever seen. 

“I-it’s not fair,” you say to him, your voice dry. “I’ve lost all of my clothes, and you’re still fully dressed--”

He chuckles. This time, when he bends down, there’s a slow, deliberate quality about him. He kisses your neck again; trails wet butterfly kisses over your collarbones, lower and lower to the swell of your chest. His hands come to cup the generous weight of them, even as his mouth floats closer and closer to your nipples, tightening and stiffening in anticipation. 

“I told you,” he says, murmuring in between flicks of his tongue against the buds. “I want to take my time over you.” He looks at you, eyes half-lidded. “Ah, you short-life species . . . You never learn patience. I have all of the time in the world to give you ecstasy over and over--”

People call Jing Yuan the Dozing General. As he applies his tongue to your nipples, though - as he suckles and nips and bites, as he kisses and squeezes until you feel dizzy with the attention he’s lavishing upon you, you realise that they are misinformed. Jing Yuan is not lazy or dozing - Jing Yuan merely likes to take his time over things. 

And oh, is he enjoying taking his time over you. 

You whine under his touch. You whimper and squirm, your cheeks flooding hot, your entire body prickling with tension and pleasure as his attentions upon your nipples send shockwaves of pleasure down to your sex. You feel wetness fair seeping out of you; slick rolling down your thighs, making a mess of Jing Yuan’s bed sheets. 

“Please,” you manage to get out, dry-voiced and wanting, after what seems like an eternity. “Please, Sir--”

“Jing Yuan,” He corrects you, a smile on his face as he continues to trail wet kisses over your bare skin. “What kind of man would I be if I allowed you to call me ‘Sir’ buried knuckle-deep in you, sweet thing? We are on even ground here.”

It’s hard not to think of him as the General. You are currently barely able to string a thought together, and he hasn’t even touched the place between your thighs yet. Still - you need him to touch you somewhere else. You need his attentions to give your chest a break (your nipples are sore, stiffened points - your skin slick with the wetness of his licks and kisses) and move to somewhere else. You force out, through your desire to genuflect to his status, his given name.

“Jing Yuan--”

“Hmm?” He asks, raising his head. His lips are swollen and pink, his eyes amused. “Do you need something, little bird?”

“Please . . .” A soft exhale, trying to work through the mass of sensations and needs that your body seems to have become. Jing Yuan does not stop touching even as you try and get out your words; still gently squeezing and toying with the weight of your chests. He’s smiling, enjoying watching you desperately work through the haze of your desire. 

“Your words,” he says, a maddening smile pulling at his lips. “Tell me what you want, and I promise I’ll do all in my power to give you it.”

“Please,” you say again, your brain fuzzy. His hands move from your chest now; big palms travelling over the curve of your stomach, your hips, resting there in a way that makes you almost lose all of your senses. “I want you to touch me . . . there--”

“Where, little thing?” He’s still smiling. “Here?” A gentle squeeze to your hips. “Here?” His palm roves over your stomach, the soft pouch just above your mound. You whimper again. “Ah. Come now--”

“Between my legs,” you whisper, voice tight and breaking with desire. “Jing Yuan, please--”

“Ah,” he laughs, dips down and kisses you once on the mouth. “You need only to ask. Spread your thighs for me, lovely thing.”

You do, utterly helplessly. Jing Yuan sighs reverently, moving further down so that he can bend his head to look at you. Your face burns under his scrutiny, fearful that he will find something lacking in your body even as his eyes greedily drink you in like you are the finest wine. He breathes deeply, and you hope that your scent is not off-putting - and then, his fingers are sliding slowly and surely up the soft plush of your legs and closer and closer to the space between your thighs and your heart is beating too fast and your breath is coming in short pants.

“Calm down,” he murmurs, and you keen as his hands reach your sex; as he uses his thumbs to spread the plump lips of your labia apart and the cool air hits your slick, heated core. “Ah, darling . . .”

There is so much in those two syllables. Hunger and desire and adoration, all mixed together as one. In another world, with another person, it might have made you feel self-conscious; but Jing Yuan looks down at you as if you are the most beautiful treasure he has ever had the good fortune to witness. 

He leans down, down - and you squeak as you realise what he’s about to do, surprised, but it does not deter him at all as he lets his tongue take a slow, luxurious lick down your sex. The base of his tongue presses against your clit, the pressure on the swollen hitherto ignored nub almost enough to make you come right there and then - but then he pulls back again, chuckling.

“Mm,” he says. “If I allow myself to sample too much of something so sweet, I’m afraid I’ll lose my composure.” He moves his hand instead; lets his fingers explore the length of you, fingertips brushing against your clenching entrance and dancing about your swollen clit. There is little pressure exerted on your sex; merely Jing Yuan’s slow, considering explorations. You clench your own fingers into the bedsheets in order to stop yourself writhing. 

“Lovely,” Jing Yuan says to himself. “Ah, you feel like velvet. Such a pretty thing; so perfectly made . . .” He sighs, even as the tip of his longest finger nudges against your entrance. Your hips move of their own accord, trying to suck him in and get him to put his finger inside of you, but he clicks his tongue with an amused chide; “Impatient,” he says. “Ah. You’re lucky you’re so irresistible--”

He slides his finger inside of you, slowly but certainly. You sigh, your lashes fluttering closed - his touch stokes all of those fires inside of you, of course, burning to fever pitch . . . but the sensation of finally having something inside of you has also made you realise how empty you felt before. It feels good, to have something to fill that pulsing space. Jing Yuan watches with rapt attention as he slides his finger half out, and then half inside of you again. 

You have had some experience, but you have never felt the way Jing Yuan makes you feel. 

“You take it so well,” he murmurs. “Look how pretty you look with something inside of you. Ah. I could spend hours doing this to you . . .”

You make a soft whine of discontent at the idea and he laughs, clicking his tongue even as he’s letting his second finger dance at your entrance ready to join the first. 

“No, even I do not have the patience for that right now,” he agrees. “Not when you feel so wonderful, little bird. Not when I cannot wait to see you come apart.”

The second finger; a slight scissoring motion as it enters you, getting you used to the size and stretch of two of his digits instead of one. The heel of his palm presses against your clit with every wet pump, sending frissons of pleasure to the tips of your toes; but he still does not rush himself. He still lets himself enjoy the feel of you clinging tightly to his fingers, the sight of them disappearing inside of your slick, drooling hole. 

“Does that feel good?” He asks you, deciding you haven’t spoken recently enough. “Tell me if you want me to go faster, sweet thing--”

“Please,” you say, ragged, breathing heavy. You can feel a tight hot ball of tension between your legs, rolling in your gut, threatening to overwhelm you. “Please, Jing Yuan, faster--”

“Very well,” he smiles, and he crooks his fingers inside of you to find your g-spot - causing your back to arch involuntarily, a whine of pure enjoyment to loose itself from your throat. At the same time, his thumb moves to play with your clit - to toy with the bud, to roll and to circle and to press against the swollen bundle of nerves. What already felt like electric shocks of pleasure move on; instead, they are lightning bolts, ricocheting up your spine and stopping just short of striking earth. 

“You’re close,” Jing Yuan says, and you are staring at his mouth. How a strand of your own gossamer-thin arousal is still glimmering at the corner. How his eyes are so focused on you that his gaze feels almost scorching. “That’s right. Let go for me, sweet thing--”

His soft entreaty pushes you over the edge, and the lightning strikes home as your peak hits you with all of the force of a storm.

His fingers work you over the crest of your orgasm, the two inside of you constantly rubbing against that spongy spot that makes you see stars, the big pad of his thumb roughly sliding over your twitching clit in circles and lines. As the waves come to a head and then slowly begin to dissipate, he slows his attentions too - until the slow strokes of his fingers fade out into nothing. He does not seem to care that you’ve soaked his fingers and his palm and the fabric he wears and his bed too - merely keeps looking at you, smiling, like you’re giving him the most precious gift imaginable. 

“Good,” he praises you. “But . . . I’m afraid that just that taste from earlier wasn’t quite enough, little bird. May I use my mouth on you?”

Who would ever believe this? Who would ever imagine little old you, on the Arbiter-General’s bed, as he looks at you and waits for your permission to fuck you with his tongue? You feel rather tongue-tied yourself - but you recall what Jing Yuan said earlier, about using your words.

“Please do,” you say, aloud, and Jing Yuan gives you that same smile that makes you feel like the only being in the whole universe.

“Thank you,” he says, sounding entirely like he means it - like it’s truly an honour for him to be able to serve you on his hands and knees. And then he has moved his body further down the bed, elegant and graceful and leonine, and his mouth is heading towards the slick-soaked place between your legs and his tongue is glinting wet in the bedroom and then he is on you, licking at you, hungrily devouring your sex like it is his last meal before an execution. 

You’re still oversensitive from his earlier attentions, and the sensation of the wet muscle of his tongue working over you almost pushed you into another early orgasm. Your fingers move from where they’re still clenched into the bedsheets to cling to his hair instead, pulling on the silvery pale strands as your back arches and you blindly cant your hips forward towards his mouth.

He groans aloud at having his hair pulled, and the groan sends vibrations all through your body that make you feel weak at the knees, your toes curling. His tongue continues its assault; back and forth, back and forth. Wetness drools from your sex and onto his face; you can feel the heat in his cheeks, the fan of his lashes against your bare skin. 

He twirls his tongue about your entrance, teasingly dips into it, as the channel of your sex constricts and pulses in an attempt to pull him even further in. He groans as your hands knit further into his hair, fucking you for a moment with his tongue before he seems to try and work his face further into your sex. 

It’s like he wants to engulf you; soft noises of pleasure keep falling from his mouth, interspersed with rumbling groans. He’s almost gyrating against the bed, you realise, your cheeks hot - grinding his crotch into the mattress as if he’s desperate to have some attention of his own. 

That sight makes your mouth go dry; all of the moisture in your body instead congregating between your legs to make a new home in Jing Yuan’s mouth and smeared across his cheeks. 

His tongue flicks across your clit and the noise that escapes you is almost animal; Jing Yuan says something, perhaps, or at least makes some kind of muffled noise from his position happily buried in your sex before he shifts his tongue just so and his mouth fastens around your clit fully. 

Sucking and licking, suckling upon the pearl like his life depends upon it; tongue occasionally just brushing under the hood, where you’re most engorged, and you can do nothing but cling onto his hair and pull at it as the most intense orgasm you’ve ever felt rips through your body.

You cannot put into words the way that you feel as Jing Yuan devours you. Your entire body feels, suddenly, as if it weighs nothing; as if sparkling lights suffuse your fingers and toes and you float into the stratosphere, white lights dancing behind your eyes in time with your whine (a whine so loud you’re sure everybody on the Luofu must have heard of it).

You come down, eventually, to the sound of Jing Yuan panting. The wet noise as his mouth separates from you, the pleased grin on his face as he uses his thumb to wipe his mouth of some of your slick. It’s a pointless endeavour, really; his face is so saturated with it you’re not sure if he’ll ever be dry again. 

“Darling,” Jing Yuan repeats, looking you in the eye, smiling like the cat who has gotten the cream. “You have no idea how much I enjoyed doing that.”

The words almost make you go over shy - but you push that to the side. There is no point, you decide, being nervous of a man who has now known you so intimately.

“In which case,” you say, breathlessly - your voice is still a little scratchy from the moaning and whimpering you’ve been doing - “Will you let me make you feel just as good?”

He looks at you for a moment, before he throws his head back and laughs.

“Why,” he says. “Of course I will.”

“Come,” Jing Yuan is murmuring, and he is finally removing his own clothes. Armour drops to the side of him, shirts unbuttoned and fastenings unhooked. His body is muscular and dotted with scars, befitting his status as a military hero; a light dusting of pale hair upon his proud chest, down into a trail to the vee of his hips. You swallow, your throat dry, trying to blink back the waves of pleasure that are still lapping gently at your shores in order to concentrate on what’s going on. His face is still wet with your slick, his hair damp with sweat and falling in messy strands over his flushed face. He looks well-fucked even without you touching him back, as if merely getting you to feel good was enough for him. 

His cock. It’s stiff against the hard planes of his abdomen, a thick, pretty specimen bubbling with precome at the flushed tip. He sighs, running his hand over it once, and your mouth practically waters at the way it twitches. It looks stiff and hard enough that you wonder if it hurts, to want so badly - but Jing Yuan looks at you and smiles, as he rearranges himself on the bed. Pillows are moved, and before you know it he has sat against them, propping himself up like an emperor upon his throne. His cock stands proud and wanting, and he gently pats his thigh as if he is calling an obedient animal to him.

“I don’t wish to hurt you, little bird,” he says - and again, you think of how it feels to be smaller than him. How he does not care about the flesh that spills from straps or curves over fabric. How he looks at you like the most beautiful thing in the world and calls you ‘delicate’ and ‘little’ and ‘precious’ and means them. “Come. Take a seat. As slowly as you need.” 

Despite how he has seen you so intimately, you cannot help but feel a little flare of fear as you approach him. He smiles, entirely at peace and at comfort with you going at your own pace, and you could kiss him for it.

“Touch,” he murmurs. “Don’t be afraid.”

With trembling fingers, you reach out; let your hand encircle his cock, get used to the width and the feel of him and imagine it inside of you. He pulses beneath your palm, a soft hum of pleasure falling from the back of his throat as you give it a cursory pump. He curses softly as your thumb rubs across the slit of his cockhead, the bubble of precome wetting the pad.

“Touch,” he says, with a smile. “But don’t get me too excited, little bird. I don’t want to come anywhere but inside of you.”

Your cheeks go hot at his easy profession; your tongue darts out to trace your lower lip. You’re used to the feel of him now; the heat that seems to stir beneath the surface of his cock, the veins that marble the side of his shaft, the ruddy pink of the head. Taking a deep breath, you spread your legs and let yourself readjust, straddling him. His own hands come up to cling to your thighs, sinking into the soft flesh there.

“You’re so soft,” he murmurs, as if in devotion, as if praying to an Aeon. “You’re beautiful.” 

His cockhead brushes your clit as you fit it snugly between the lips of your sex; you shift your hips, until it catches against your entrance and your eyes flutter closed. 

Your eyes are still closed as you begin to lower yourself down, so you feel every inch of him as he makes his home within your body. Your eyes being closed, of course, you miss the softness and the warmth that fills Jing Yuan’s gaze as he looks at you. The brief moment of sadness that passes behind his eyes as he remembers that you are a short-life species; that he cannot have all of the time in the world with you, to teach you pleasures the likes of which you do not yet know. The sadness he cannot spend his lifetime learning you by heart--

But you hear the soft murmur of your name, as he bottoms out inside of you and you take a moment to simply rest there with him buried as deep inside of you as he can go. You feel the way one of his hands slides up your spine to grip the back of your head and to pull you into a kiss as deep and adoring as anything else he’s done so far. 

Teeth and tongue and lips, whimpering and gasping into one another’s mouths until you do not know where he ends and where you begin, Jing Yuan somehow manages to murmur;

“Move whenever you want, sweet thing. Set the pace.” 

It does not, in the end, feel like either of those things happen. Instead, it feels as though the universe sets the pace for you; as if you simply know when to begin to move your hips, how to bend and angle yourself just so in order for Jing Yuan to hit all of the most sensitive spots inside of you.

One hand remains on your hip, helping you with the pace - the other remains on the back of your head, to allow him to kiss, as if he doesn’t want to let his mouth separate from yours for any longer than necessary. It’s a romance that you didn’t expect of the General, but it’s hardly one you’re going to complain about when his mouth feels so good and the constant nibbling of your lip and curl of his tongue against yours is distracting you from the mounting pleasure already starting to coalesce inside of you. 

There is nothing in the world for a while except Jing Yuan’s body underneath yours. His hands, his mouth, the feel of his shoulders beneath your own palms where you cling to him for leverage. You sweat and breathe and kiss and fuck as one, until the call inside of you becomes too much to ignore.

“I’m--” You pull back from the kiss to whisper, voice hoarse. “I’m going to--”

“Shh,” Jing Yuan says, kissing again. His own voice climbs in pitch, and you hear a shiver and a shudder in his syllables that makes you aware that he, too, is not far from his own release. His teeth nip at your lower lip as he half-begs into your mouth. “Please. Come again for me, sweet thing, little bird, pretty-- let me feel you--”

Your third orgasm crashes over you, your sex spasming around his cock, tight and hot and pulsing - and Jing Yuan groans into your mouth as you push him over the edge too, and you feel his cock spasm in turn. Ropes of hot release shoot inside of you; you had thought, earlier, that having his cock buried all the way inside of you was the extent of how full you could feel. 

You were wrong.

You bite at his lips, whining and half-sobbing, as the please encompasses you like a cloak of warmth. Jing Yuan groans in return, his hips making needy fast circles to chase the dregs of his own release. It feels right, for the two of you to peak together like this. For the two of you to chase every last drop of pleasure, entwined together and sweating and kissing and as close to one being as it’s possible to be.

Eventually, your breathing slows. Eventually, the kiss turns tender instead of frenzied. Eventually, you pull back from Jing Yuan with a foolish smile on your face and your cheeks hot and tears of pleasure (that you hadn’t even realised you had cried) rolling down your face like sparkling diamonds.

You stare at each other, the enormity of what has happened washing over you. Jing Yuan’s face is calm and serene, but his eyes are bright still, his cheeks still high in colour. 

You fear for a moment that he is about to dismiss you; that what the two of you just shared will mean nothing now that it is over. You fear that you’re about to go back to what you were before; a colleague and an employer, a General and a subordinate. But then, Jing Yuan lets out a deep rumbling sigh, pleased, as he collapses back upon the pillows. He opens his arms for you to dismount, his cock sliding slippery and wet outside of you, his come trickling down your thighs.

“Come here,” he murmurs, sounding tired but terribly pleased; the cat who has gotten the cream. He’s like a lion once more. You are helpless to resist his indication that he wants to cuddle, and so you let him pull you into his arms, let him manoeuvre you to lay against his chest until you can hear his heart beating. His fingers stroke your head, like you’re a sweet-tempered animal yourself. “Mmm. Rest with me, little bird.”

You let yourself. Your body is aching and sore from the orgasms and the sex, and you let your eyes drift closed, lulled by the comforting rhythm of his breathing. 

A sleepy kiss is dropped onto the crown of your head.

“Enjoy it whilst you can,” Jing Yuan hums. “Before we start having to make room for Mimi every night.”

Can I request Aventurine with soft and gentle reader?

Reader is soft spoken and a observer, she never show angry or annoyed to everyone. (Sometimes he wonder if you do have those emotions..)

But when Sparkle aka the masked fools, mock him and his origin..

Reader be like: “So you choose death” with dangerous face, enough to make Sparkle trauma for the rest of her life.

Thank you for the request, I had fun writing this one and I finally had an excuse to bully Sparkle /hj 🤲 Evenso I hope you liked it!

Warning : Reader had a slight yandere undertone, bullying (obviously), Reader is Aventurine's wife

You're currently minding your own business, spending some time with your husband in trying questionable things Penacony dreamscapes had to offer. 

“Honey, try this ice cream, it's delicious!” Aventurine shoves the snack in front of your face. You giggled at his antics, pushing the cone away from your face. 

“Really? Your face literally flinches when you take a bite, I'm not sure if what you say is true,” You pinched his soft cheek lightly, earning a lengthy whine from the blond. Aventurine makes the ice cream disappear since he probably doesn't want to finish it too. Spot on. 

“I thought I hid it well,” he leans his face closer to your hand, indulging himself in your soft touches. 

“You still have a long way to go, luv,” 

“Well, well, who thought that the creep actually has bitches?” an unfamiliar voice came from behind you. The two of you instantly turn around the source of sound. Aventurine crosses his arms in front of his chest. You took in his defensive state and you kept your hands on the tip of your shirt. 

“That's kind of improper to say it like that, don't you think? She's my wife,” Aventurine's business smile didn't falter as he proudly introduced you. 

“Wife?! What kind of person would want to marry someone like you?” Sparkle took a good look at you, examining your appearance and your beautiful smile… What the hell… So pretty… 

“You're so pretty… why would you want to marry someone like this pathetic peacock?” you smiled at her question, rubbing your chin with your right hand in the process. 

“Why wouldn't I? He's charming and also rich, I can't see why not,” Aventurine had to hold himself from giggling by how happy your words made him. 

“Charming? Huh, how much did he pay you to say that?” Your face didn't flinch even a bit. 

“Did he force you to marry him because he paid your debt? Poor you! You deserve way better. And if you were to have kids, surely they would have his filthy blood. After all, even when his eyes are pretty, they never went well. Sigonians and their despicable nature should never touch such beauty like yours. So dazzling and well mannered. Did he threaten you with a knife when he proposed to you? Poor, poor thing, I'll help you get away from him if you ask me nicely!” Sparkle cheered, clinging to your arm while Aventurine physically trembled. He can take it if it's all about him, but if you're added to the picture? It won't end well with him. 

“So what do you say? My offer still stands!” The smaller lady giggles happily. You still keep your polite smile but Aventurine can feel that something isn't right. 

“What do I say?” you turn your gaze to her. The atmosphere drops in an instant, but Sparkle didn't choose to back away. 

“So you think this is funny, hmm?” You moved your hand to cup her face, eyes completely blank it could rival the abyss. The masked fool feels shiver down her spine and it's unpleasant. 

“I'm not sure who raised you, but they're doing a terrible job,” The usually pleasant smile turns sinister in such a small time, even Aventurine flinches at the sight. 

“A girl, looking for validation. Changing masks and faces anytime she wants. As expected from the masked fools,” You stroked her cheek so tenderly, in contrast with the venomous tone and piercing gaze. 

“Or were you just looking for attention you never received throughout your life? So unprovoked, picking on a man like you're the most saint of it all. Maybe you should get yourself lobotomized so you can continue your study, consider giving your life some meaning, wouldn't that be pleasant? Want me to help you with that? An eye for an eye,” Aventurine witnessed how the color from Sparkle's face drained down to a ghostly pale, as if she had seen a literal walking corpse in its most gruesome form. 

“You-” The said girl stepped away from your touch, utterly speechless. 

“Do you have anything more to say about Aventurine?” Your smile went back to the usual soft one, as if nothing had happened before. The masked fool ran scurried away from you, leaving the two of you alone. You turned your face back to your husband where he almost jumped away out of surprise. 

“Is something the matter, dear?”

“I think I do need to learn a lot more from you…”

I think Aventurine being afraid of his own wife (in an endearing way, he loves her too much to mess anything up) is somewhat cute I wanna write more about it

Also consider tipping me on ko-fi if you like my works!! Link is in my pinned post, hehe, thank you for reading~

Could I request Dr Ratio and Aventurine being given a cat plushie of themselves made by their partner?

♡: Dr.ratio, aventurine x gn!reader, petnames (dear and doll), reader is drunk in aventurines part, kinda short I'm sorry :(

a/n: I adore these 2 so much I wanna eat them.... I hope u enjoy anon

dr. ratio

- before getting into a proper relationship the great Dr. Veritas Ratio expected many surprises, after all this was his first relationship.

- in secret he reads books about romance and observes the types of gifts normally given to one another; flowers, sweets, accessories. he isn't a fool, he knows you well but still something like this... he wasn't expecting.

Veritas stood still, eyes used to logic and reasoning, solitude and knowledge glaring into the small little plush sitting in your open palms. As he processes this he makes a quick realization; the lovely blue fur, the scowl of the face, the golden accents and the book in the cats mouth wasn't just picked randomly no, it was him. A blush spread across his face as he picks up the plush to get a better look. you're bright smile begins to fade as his silence continues but before you could properly frown a cough rumbles from the man's throat. "The craftsmanship on this plush is amazing, dear. I..." he praises your work a slight smirk on his face before he looks away from you the evergrowing blush on his face getting darker by the second. "I do appreciate it... and I suppose it is adorable." he says pacing over to you and leaving a kiss on your cheek before scurrying off, hiding the Dr. catio plush behind a book. Later in the day you don't fail to notice the way his eyes dart to the cat then to himself in the mirror, his expression almost instantly matching the plush.

aventurine

- like his fellow IPC Co worker, aventurine also expects many surprises in this relationship. he's always been terribly lonely so this new gamble of love is something he's loving so far.

- and this surprise is definitely one of things he loves about you. none has ever even dared to think of him like that, to take the time to make something that looks like him? it has his heart racing.

Aventurine was almost suspicious when after a late night doing his rounds at a local casino you called him up and asked to stop by because there's an emergency he simply needs to come help with. He could tell this wasn't life threatening by the way you'd giggle after every few words but nonetheless he'd comply to your orders and before you know it you hear a few gentle knocks at your door. As the power of a brand new open bottle of wine flows through you your feet stumble to the door and swing it open to meet the man you simply adore. "Aventurineee~! you actually came!" you slurred slightly with a grin and with your free hand you gently took his arm and lead him onto the nearby couch. "Well hello to you too doll" he smiled as let his body be weightless as you plopped him onto the couch. before he could ask what the emergency was you began talking. "sorry for calling you out of nowhere but I have a gift!" you stay speedwalking to your kitchen and grabbing a wine glass for him before pouring him some. "now wait heree~" and once again before you could speak you ran to your room and back out again this time with a small plush. he pulls down his glasses and allows himself to observe the plush you've brought him closely. when he takes it from your hand you plop down next to him and begin pointing out every detail. "lookie here! I made the pupils card suit shapes! since your eyes are so beautiful I made sure I made them justttt right" you said nuzzling into his shoulder more almost like love was pouring out of you. the smile on his face never seems to fade but he does go silent, letting you rant about whatever details you please but his mind goes somewhere else, the fact you love him and all the features he's resented this much to preserve him forever.

PSPSPSPSPS, hear me out on this trope pls!😘

Dr Ratio and a reader that is a bit of a dummy and sunshine that enjoy listening to him babbling and rumbling about things that intelligent people would say although she doesn't get a single word that he speak, sometime reader who watch him solving math problems and goes like "Wow, I don't get a single thing :D"

Reader admire him, he's annoyed but he didn't mind having a golden retriver to accompany him because at least reader can deal with those annoying karen who is too dumb to understand his words

Literally the Iq and Eq duo🫶

-🦭 Anon

Calling me out like a cat😂😂😭😭😭

Cute, cute let’s do it!!

Cw! Mildly suggestive?? Sitting on lap and stuff

-Dr. Ratio with a bubbly sunshine reader-

Yeahhh, Dr. Ratio is Fluent in YAP, you know? He talks a LOT. I’m just imagining you sitting on his lap while he holds a huge math textbook, scribbling in the margins while he Talks your ear off, and you just lean the back of your head against his chest as you…Try to listen. But you have no idea what he’s saying. Every once in a while he goes: “do you get what I mean?” as he taps a note he wrote and you just lie and nod. He might know you’re lying. Might not. Either way he likes it when you tell him what he wants to hear- Pepper his face with kisses while he talks. He likes that. Dr. Ratio is really really REALLY smart. So he tends to think other people are dumb. Even you. So he invests in a sticky note pad and writes little notes to help you throughout the day. It’s cute. Until you start living together. You have SO many notes everywhere. Little things like: Brush your hair Eat breakfast Put shoes on before you go out Like?? You’re not THAT dumb- But at least he’s trying to take care of you. You deal with people who annoy him. You’re kinda like his…translator, even though you also don’t really understand him. You’re over here like: “I’m so sorry sir! But the Doctor is not interested in speaking to you! Why? Oh. He says he doesn’t like you very much :3” Dr. Ratio likes to have you in his seminars. It puts him in a good mood. And his students are happy when you’re there too because he tends to forget to assign work since he’s too busy staring at you… You’re kindaaa his personal assistant in the seminar rooms, though it’s not really fair because you’re not getting paid or anything, haha.

He's so pussydrunk that he fucks you so fucking good that you're just too blissed out to even comprehend his praises. He babbles about how good you're to him, how you're taking him and how beautiful you are. Fuck, he just loves how your warmth is wrapped around him. It's so good, he loves being buried deep inside of you, feeling your warm gummy walls wrapped so tightly around him, practically milking him out. He's just in love, so in love. He loves everything about you, all the way to your tight n' warm cunt that flutters around him whenever the crown of his cock would kiss your womb with every thrust he made. Your sweet, sweet moans were music to his ears. He would die happily like this if he could.

—— AETHER, DILUC, albedo, zhongli, childe, xiao, THOMA, gorou, KAVEH, tighnari, cyno, dainsleif, baizhu, ITTO, KAZUHA, GEPARD, luocha, luka, dan heng, JING YUAN, sampo, welt

He's the one who makes you a dumb, babbling, cockdrunk for him. He has your face flushed into the pillows, tears forming in your eyes, cheeks flushed and drool coming from the corner of your lips. You were babbling incoherent words, but he found it cute that you were too overstimulated, too cockdrunk to even comprehend anything. It's not like he minded, afterall, that pretty little head of your don't need to think about anything except for his cock that continues to ram inside of you, mixed cum leaking out of your hole and staining his cock. Your walls were squeezing him so tightly while he gives another slap to your cheek, making you jolt forward a bit and yelp from the sensation of his slap. He's so mean, he would slap your ass to keep you awake, pull your hair, and leave bruises on your hips..but it's not like you minded anyway. Afterall m, you're his cute little cockdrunk slut <33

—— SCARAMOUCHE, abyss!aether, kaeya, AYATO, ALHAITHAM, dainsleif, HEIZOU, TIGHNARI, XIAO, cyno, DAN FENG, BLADE, jing yuan

PART 2 PART 2 PART 2 ITS HERE

dan heng being bad at feelings, the sequel.

started writing this pre-1.3, so i am once again emphasizing that i am making shit up. (well, 1.3 dropped while still working on this and the TB mission was rather lacklustre, so i'm gonna half ignore it).

sorry for any typos/mistakes/whatever, most of this was written at dubious hours of the night.

contains. mild-moderate canon divergence, dubious jing yuan shenanigans, dh being somewhat down bad. i dropped a bit too much spice in, so it is no longer “mild”. take that as you will.

7.5K words. THIS IS SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING.

here's the first part in case you haven't read it. you're still not the trailblazer.

tags: @akhiran @cypunk-0 @fiona782 @seelelovesbronya @bleakqblake @xiaos-poems

this place is not a place of honour. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here…nothing valued is here. Below 15, DNI. Go away.

the next day, you awoke to a feeling of emptiness at your side. any part of the bed that your limbs weren’t splayed upon was long cold with dan heng’s absence. you were alone, still left in the nest of sheets and pillows he arranged himself. it couldn’t have all been some kind of fever-dream, could it? 

no, any such possibility was dashed when you looked at the messages on your phone. one unread, left two hours ago. 

with the ellipsis and all. oh, the self-inflicted misery. (does he really consider every single person his enemy?) you sighed, swinging your feet off the side of the bed to get up. if you knew him well enough, then you already knew the next little while was going to be tricky, to say the least. it was obvious what his plan was from the beginning, with him abandoning your side at the sun’s first rays: avoidance. 

and avoid you, he did. in the denouement after phantylia’s attack, he still had to be around you, but the stiltedness he carried with him was palpable. he made a point to stand as socially acceptably far from you. it was almost like he was acting like a ghost solely to you. elusive, non-communicative, only seen out of the corner of your eye. perhaps leaving you with the lingering feeling of being watched, and ultimately gone before you could even call his name. in fact, he quite literally ghosted you. he wouldn’t even respond to your messages.

once the day after the final events rolled around, you thought that maybe he would have had enough time to finally be able to face you again, but no. apparently he elected to confine himself to the archives the moment he returned aboard the express. however, this didn’t deter you from going knocking on his door. 

"dan heng?" you tapped on the sealed door. your ear was right up against the frame, listening intently. 

whatever shuffling was coming from within fell still at your voice. 

"dan heng, i know you’re in there. i just heard you stop moving." 

there was more silence, then followed by a sigh. "did pom-pom not relay my one request?" 

"no, they did. told me that i’m not allowed near the archives."

"yet you’re still here…" his voice was strained, and distant from the door. he must have been sitting either at his desk or on his thin, messy futon. beyond that, it was hard to imagine what he was doing in there, or even what he looked like. it was surprising. you thought he struggled to control his form, but it seemed no problem when he wasn’t with you. so was he the regular old dan heng sitting in there? or the vidyadhara that laid next to you that night? 

"you really think i’m gonna listen? i never do." you squared yourself further towards the door. "now, c’mon. we’re already talking, so can’t you just—" 

"n-no, i can’t," he cut you off. "i… i’m sorry, but not here, and not like this." 

"can you at least tell me why you say you can’t be around m—?" almost as if on cue, in came an angry pom-pom inbound like a squishy freight train. 

"hey! what did pom-pom just say?!" they cried. "can’t you follow one simple rule for the time being?"

as pom-pom ushered you away from the archives with weak thumps to the back of your legs, you grunted to yourself. you were tempted to chuck them in the opposite direction, but alas, such a thing was not in the cards for you. after all, it would be wise to not tempt fate with the conductor. things seemed like they were going to be more difficult than you anticipated.

░░░░░░░

early the next morning, long before either march or stelle would rise, you shuffled your way into the parlor car in search of food. if it was going to be anything like yesterday, you were anticipating being the only one in the parlor car. however, to your surprise, there was another person present when you silently closed the door behind you—dan heng. he was in his regular appearance of shorter, fluffy hair and his regular attire. you sighed as quietly as you could, staring at the back of his head that leant on his wrist, propped up on the table. seeing him staring dejectedly at the food was a sorry sight.

the unspoken tradition you had with him was that when the whole express wasn’t eating together, it’d always be you two sharing your meals together. it began when you first joined the express—after dan heng himself, but before march. left adrift as a vagrant amidst the stars, you were all too familiar with the feeling of loneliness. it was always at its worst when you managed to gather together enough scraps to resemble the meals you used to eat in your old home. to you, when possible, meals were something that should be shared in the company of others. so when you first saw dan heng sat alone on your first proper morning aboard, you saw part of yourself in him. a part that you wanted gone, now that you had a new home. so you sat yourself down next to him, your own food in hand. you were met with some minor (albeit polite) resistance, but you being the stubborn ass you were, would not have it. you knew your persistence was risky, but it paid off. not long after that, he would wait until you were sitting with him. 

so to see that sight left you saddened, but also vehemently annoyed. normalcy was out the window thanks to this baffling, self-imposed restriction he had against you. as quietly as you could, you stalked up behind him. moving as lightly as possible felt like it was the only way possible to get closer to him. it wasn’t like he developed a sudden allergy to your presence or something, was it?

you were successful in thwarting his pre-occupied senses as you reached the velvet couch. but maybe you were too successful, because he almost leapt out of his skin when you planted yourself down next to him. you leaned against the table and spoke. "how about us talking if it’s over breakfast?"

he did manage to calm down, but not by a lot, and not enough to give you a reply. his expression was still frazzled as he struggled to keep himself in place. 

"can you please tell me if i’ve done something wrong? i don’t understand why we’re suddenly like strangers again," you said, reaching out to put your hand atop his one that was clenched at his side. but he snatched it away before you could feel the warmth of it.

"it’s my fault. you’ve done nothing," he said. "but please, i need some time before i can talk to you properly."

he turned to get up and leave, but you caught him by the sleeve. "w-wait, by why?" you trailed off, voiced far weaker than intended.

the look he gave you was weird. it was a jumble of confused emotions, but the most you could make out was nervousness. you had no idea what that light flush could have meant for you. his mouth parted to make some sort of reply, and you could have sworn you the glimpse of sharpened canines. "since when have you had fangs in this appearance?" you blurted out after doing a double take.

his eyes flared wide open and a hand flew over his mouth. "s-since never." with that, he slipped from your grasp. "please excuse me."

you watched incredulously as he walked out of the parlour car and back towards the archives as if he had wooden knees. you had no idea what just happened. rejection, you supposed. but considering how he was that night, it made no sense. nothing about this made any sense. 

whatever it was, it was slowly eroding your patience, leaving you biting the inside of your lips in irritation. it’s true you were doing some type of avoidance when his alternate form was finally revealed, but it was nothing of this calibre. it was almost impossible for it to be the case with dan heng, but if this really was some kind of petty revenge, he may as well have whipped out a steel chair after you knocked shoulders with him.

░░░░░░░

your shameful failure of an interaction left you in need of recuperation. you hadn’t felt that irked and downright baffled since one of herta’s curios fell on your head. so now, you were blathering a ranting tirade at stelle and march over some snacks, all in the parlour car. "i swear to whatever aeon’s listening, he’s turned emo or something." you folded your arms across your chest, sinking down in your plush chair. 

"like he wasn’t before?" stelle mumbled, not looking up from whatever gacha game she was playing on her phone. 

"eh, not really. he does have his moments, though." march shrugged, grabbing a single chip. "but yeah, i’ve never seen anything like this. it’s so weird, he almost never avoids you like this!"

"hence why i’m so confused."

"things seemed to get pretty tense between the two of you after he had his magical girl transformation," stelle added while shovelling a handful of chips into her mouth, still not looking up. "then maybe… the day after phantylia, he got even weirder."

"yeah, like, he won’t go near you for some reason, but he keeps staring at you so longingly and sighing like you’re the last cookie in the jar and he’s been told he can’t have any more!" march said with the melodramatic flourish of a swoon.

"that one sounds like it’s based on real experiences." stelle cast her a sideways glance, to which march let out a sniff and wiped away a dry tear.

"just how much has he been doing that?" you muttered, unable to comprehend. 

"a fair amount from what i’ve seen. he’s looked like a kicked puppy every single time," march said. "well, as much as dan heng can look like a kicked puppy." 

"not that he’s particularly talkative, but i’ve tried asking him about it. was only met with howling winds of jarilo-vi’s everwinter storm." stelle placed her phone down on the table and sat back with her arms crossed. "but now, he’s just being straight up weird. (y/n), what’d you do to him?"

"yeah, i mean, he won’t even eat in the mornings if you’re there!" march cried. 

your nails dug into your knees as you looked at your lap. you could feel a heat creeping onto your face as you recalled him so close to you. his words still rung in your head. if they were true, then what the fuck was he doing now? "i—i don’t really want to say, since it’s between him and i," you said. "but some pretty… significant things happened, i guess."

march suddenly drew in a comically loud gasp. "DID HE FINALLY CONFE—" she began, but you clapped your hand over her mouth before she could finish. 

"must’ve," stelle said, leaning forward with her hands on the table loosely clasped in front of her. 

"it wasn’t… exactly like that." your voice was low. your attempts to protect your dignity were feeble at best. it’s true, he never explicitly told you he has feelings for you in the classic format of ‘i like you’, but… who were kidding, it was a confession in all forms except literalness. you grabbed at your face, hiding the creeping heat behind your hands with a groan. 

"no, it was totally a love confession. he’s been head over heels for you for a while now! even when i first met you two, it was so obvious he had a big ol’ crush on you. how’d you not notice it?!" 

"cuz they’re denser than dan heng." stelle deadpanned, staring right at you.

"if you’re going to be making indirect insults about me, at least do it to my face," a familiar voice muttered from somewhere a distance behind you. in walked dan heng, eyes closed and pinching the bridge of his nose. he was once again in his normal appearance. stelle immediately squashed you down beneath the square table, leaving you only to look at everyone’s legs. 

"oh, so the elusive dan heng finally graces us with his presence, huh?" you couldn’t see march’s face, but you knew she was making a half-lidded, unimpressed frown at him—the certified march classic.

"i’ve had a lot of information to collate and put into the archives, so i’ve been busy—" his words stopped short. from around the bend of the chair’s edge, you could see him inch closer to the table. 

"been busy what? you just stopped talking." march sounded confused. 

"is that… (y/n)’s scent?" his tone was far sharper, but his wording sounded unsure. 

"are you calling them stinky? that’s kinda rude, isn’t it?" march frowned. 

"huh? no, of course not!" he sputtered. "it’s just v-vidyadhara senses. they’re quite acute." there was the shuffling of some fabric. he must have crossed his arms.

"well i say it’s cuz you’re going heehee-silly-delulu with your big fat crush on them." march chimed in. your eyes widened as you frowned. why were they both baiting the literal dragon?

the only sound that came out of dan heng was something like an indignant cry that was cut-off at its head. "i… i do not—"

"you don’t like them? alright, keep telling yourself that," stelle said. 

"…what hand does (y/n) have in this? they were just here, weren’t they?" he took a few steps towards the table. you imagined him with a strained look on his face, fighting to keep his composure like he yesterday. as he was stood right in front of you, you felt yourself shrinking back. it was maybe only seconds until ground zero—until everything hit the fan. "because that’s their scent nearby…" he changed his footing just a touch, and the second you saw the tips of his fluffy hair peak down past the table, you launched headlong into him. not by your own volition, but because a heeled boot slammed into your lower back, jetting you forward. your face collided with some part of his legs (of which was not very soft), sending you both in the same direction with simultaneous cries. there was a significant thud when dan heng hit the floor, and your head knocked into something bony.

your eyes cracked open, rubbing your forehead with a groan, but all sounds fell silent when you realized you were hovering between his knees. you stared up at him with wide eyes and a stifled breath, where he met your owlish gaze with his own. in other words, you were almost right between his legs. both of your faces lit like infernos, but neither of you moved. a grand total of two seconds passed before the vidyadhara features came out. it was quick—his horns rose from his head, and his hair spilt over his shoulders. his tail appeared behind him, laying still. even his clothes suddenly swapped out on him. his chest rose and fell as his breath seemed to quicken. 

"s-sorry," you swallowed thickly. in almost an instant, he dug one of his clawed hands into his arm. he clambered to his feet, unable to look you in the eye.

"wh-what the hell was that?" his voice cracked.

"fuck, that was my bad." stelle said from behind you. 

"ngh, you… please excuse me," he quickly turned and strode back towards the archives, still holding onto his arm. you hadn’t moved from the floor when you watched the passenger cabin’s door close behind him. 

"what the heck, stelle?!" march cried, startling you.

"holy fuck, i’m so sorry. i did not think it’d go like that," stelle said. when you looked back over, she was leaning back and had raked her bangs back, hand still on her forehead.

"how did you think it’d go?" you groaned, unsteadily raising to your feet once again.

"i dunno, but not like that."

"why’d he suddenly change like that, i wonder?" march tapped her finger to her chin, looking off to the side. 

"cuz he’s down bad." stelle looked very confident in her answer. 

you almost choked on your spit.

"he’s down bad, but then he keeps running off 'cuz refuses to let himself be so."

"what kind of a theory is that?!" march huffed.

"a simple observation. mr. yang says i’m perceptive, so i have final authority on all judgements ever made." stelle crossed her arms over her chest, face seldom making any expressions. "and i say exactly what i said."

you stood with your head hanging in your hands, burning with embarrassment. things couldn’t keep going on like this. if this was the new dynamic, then how were any of you supposed to function while you’re out trailblazing? how were any of you supposed to function even just normally? that was it. you raised your head until your eyes lifted from behind your hands, a new resolve filling your blood. maybe jing yuan might know something. 

░░░░░░░

managing to secure a time to speak to jing yuan was unbelievably easy. then again, you should gave guessed it’d be. over messages, he told you that since he’s been doing nothing but resting, he’s incredibly bored—someone to see or speak to is more than welcome. and so, it quickly was organized that you could stop by a planned location in aurum alley to see him.

the time soon rolled around, as long as it took. during the day, as expected, there was no sign of dan heng having any interest in interacting with you normally, much to your growing irritation and mild chagrin. even march and stelle were shaking their heads and clicking their tongues in disapproval. 

it didn’t take long for you to get there. you agreed to meet him in a small, secluded area, just out of the way of eyes that might seek to pry into the general’s private business. it was a bit into the early evening. it wasn’t too hard to find him sitting at his table since he wasn't exactly the most conspicuous person out there. the golden artificial sunlight poured in from an oblique angle overhead, coating the tucked-away courtyard in a honeyed light. once he saw you approaching, jing yuan cast you one of his usual sleepy, cattish smiles. 

"um, hello," you spoke, pulling out a seat next to him. 

"and to what do i owe the pleasure?" there was almost a purr in his voice. "tell me, what is it you wished to speak about?" he leaned forward, resting his head on his wrist propped up on the table. "or did you simply come here to chat with me because you felt like it?" he made a closed-eyed smile laced with mischief. 

"ah, i’m sorry to disappoint, but it’s because i’m having a bit of a dilemma." you scratched the back of your head with an awkward laugh. "please hear me out on this one, but it’s about dan heng." 

"oh, dan heng? what about him?" jing yuan tilted his head. "as it stands, i’m afraid you might know him better than i do, unfortunately. so i don’t know if i would be able to provide the best of help for you." there was a faint, bittersweet smile on his lips, making you bite your own. 

"it’s, ah, a little more about him as a vidyadhara, i suppose. i’m not sure if he has anything in common with his previous incarnation, but i thought there must be something there." 

"well, i can say his obstinance seems to have certainly survived reincarnation."

"it’s thriving," you huffed, at which jing yuan lightly laughed. 

"so is that the root of your problem? him being too stubborn on something?" 

"that’s about it, yeah." you pressed your lips into a line. "he’s been avoiding me for… reasons i won’t divulge… and i don’t what i can do to get him to talk to me again." 

"you don’t need to put it like that. i can tell he really likes you," he said, the trace of a smug grin on his face. after you coughed loudly, he continued. "he’s rather obvious if you know what you’re looking for. but anyway, what happened between you two? if i’m allowed to know, that is." 

you swallowed nervously. should you really be revealing everything like this? you did it anyway. "one night, we said a few things of… i guess questionably romantic nature to each other, and he reacted in a way that i think was influenced by some sort of… vidyadhara shenanigans."

jing yuan looked at you with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. "go on." 

"he hauled me off to his bed and then got uncharacteristically affectionate. he had a back-and-forth with self-doubt once he realized i was really confused by it all, but i told him it’s fine. i mean, i even pet his horns out of my own volition and stuff." it was all coming out at this point. "then he eventually drifted off and then pretty much declared his feelings in his half-sleep. but even though i told him i’m fine with him doing whatever he was doing, he still decided to run off the next morning. i’ve tried to talk to him repeatedly, but he won’t reply to my messages and he almost freaks out every time i’m in his vicinity. i don’t get it!" 

"mm, that’s quite the situation on your hands there," jing yuan hummed. there was a mischievous spark in his eye, and you weren’t sure if you liked the look of it. "now, i couldn’t tell you the specifics, but if you say he got ’uncharacteristically affectionate’, then that’s definitely some old vidyadhara response. they can get very protective over the things they love." 

your gaze dropped somewhere in front of your as your face prickled with heat at his words. 

"but now, i’d wager he’s stuck in some sort of self-imposed battle of will against himself."

"and how would you suggest i get him out of it?" 

"i suppose there is technically the option of waiting this out," he glanced at your face. you looked embittered at such an inane suggestion, making him laugh. "or you could simply make him lose the battle, since it sounds like he’s set on taking it ad infinitum, if needed." 

"small issue… i’m now allowed near the archives," you sighed, leaning yourself back. "it’s hard to simply go there with both the conductor banning me as well as dan heng refusing to open his door." 

"hmm…" jing yuan shifted his hand beneath his chin. "might i do something a bit uncouth?" 

"uhh, okay." 

"come here for a moment." he slid himself next to you, turning to face you a little more. with a slight frown, you turned towards him as well. "now, i can’t guarantee his reaction to this, but—" he suddenly pulled you closer toward him and placed his head in the crook of your neck—the same side dan heng had his. one hand snuck its way around your neck and held the base of your neck ever so gently, while the other looped around your back. you had to fight a shudder when you could feel jing yuan’s lips ghost over your neck and shoulder. "if i do this, it may be enough to knock him from this cycle of his." 

"wh-what?" you strained out. 

"he’ll be able to tell i’ve been with you. and by the places i’ve been in contact with you…" he said, voice low. his faint breaths were cool on your shoulder. you couldn’t suppress a slight shiver. "…it should be enough to grant you access to… the archives, was it?" 

"y-yeah." you blinked a few times. your brain had been reduced to a single cell bouncing around inside your brain like a shitty maraca. 

jing yuan finally pulled back, assuming his original pose. "please forgive me for that… but you’ll likely see why i did it." he still couldn’t help but wear his usual small grin for the second part. "i’d now recommend that you find him again, and try to keep his attention long enough for him to notice you were with me. vidyadhara’s senses of smell are perceptive, so it shouldn’t be long. well now, you’d best get back then." his stupid grin was even wider and even smugger. his gaze wasn’t condescending, but read more as if he were thinking just wait and see.

"i… guess i’ll be going then. th-thank you, general." you made an awkward bow as you hustled back the way you came, hyperaware of the air brushing against your shoulder. it all felt incredibly foreboding… but that was to be expected when you were about to enter the dragon’s den. 

░░░░░░░

your plan was flawless:

1. jing yuan does his shit

2. go back to the express. 

3. bait with bubble tea to get the door open. 

4. "talk" to dan heng long enough until he notices jing yuan was up to something

5. ???

6. profit. 

just as detailed, to further your chances of getting that door cracked open, you decided to buy a bubble tea. a classic milk should have sufficed, since he tended to favour the more simple things. the chances of him actually opening the door to take it were already slim, but desperate times called for desperate measures. knowing him, he’d simply make you leave it at the door, which was a problem. so there you were, stuck on an express couch, plotting. (or, perhaps more aptly, chewing your nails in nerves). as you sat there, in waddled pom-pom, looking mighty chuffed for some unknown reason.

"hm-hm-hm! dinner of pom-pom’s own creation will be ready in just over 20 minutes!" they declared, puffing their stuffed chest. they waited for any reaction, but no one looked up at them, making them deflate with a scowl. "stelle, (y/n) you go tell everyone," they grumbled, shuffling back into the passenger cart and beyond. 

"wait, what?" you looked up—you hadn’t even noticed them. 

"we’re on messenger duty," stelle said from her seat. she was placed upside down on the couch, hair grazing the ground while she played her usual gacha games. 

"can i try and deal with dan heng?"

"i mean, sure." she looked over at you. "but what’re you plotting?"

"my entry into the archives. i come baring gifts." you motioned towards the untouched bubble tea sitting in front of you. 

"i’ll leave you to it. i’ll go tell march and the others then." she chucked her phone elsewhere on the couch and got up, wandering towards the passenger car. you followed shortly behind, offering in hand. 

it was a short walk. you knew you were being dramatic, but you couldn’t help but grow more and more nervous the closer you drew to the archives. you had already weathered so many rejections, so it’s not like this was going to somehow have a worse result. perhaps it was because you put too much on this. you’ve gone to a rather large effort just to have a slim chance of getting him to open the door—speaking of, you were already there. 

you raised your hand to knock on it, but before you could even lay your hand on it, dan heng spoke from inside. "what is it, (y/n)?" he was once again somewhere further off in the room, speaking with undecipherable emotions. 

"um." your voice cracked, making you cringe. "pom-pom said dinner’s ready in 20." 

"ah. thank you," he said plainly. it still kinda stung, being back at what felt like the stage where you were only acquaintances. 

"i also got you something." you tried to cast another line. 

"you can leave it at the door." 

you flopped your head against the door. of course he said it. "i’d rather give it to you now. it’s some bubble tea. the ice is melting." there was no response. you couldn’t tell what he was doing. "c’mon, it’s not like you’re sick or something." 

"hah, more like lovesick," stelle called as she walked past behind you. 

"stelle!" dan heng cried indignantly. he sounded closer to the door. "i am not—"

"if you’re not, then open the door." she simply kept walking. 

you were stood with wide, unblinking eyes and an open mouth, watching her jacket pass through the cabin door until you were left alone in the hall. the door suddenly slid open a little. you jumped, turning to stare up at him. as usual, there was a strained look on his face that he was trying to suppress. "see, i’m not—" he looked out and around for stelle, but she was nowhere to be seen. instead, he simply sighed. 

you tried to swallow your heart beating in your throat, but it still hammered away. "hi." 

he closed his eyes, leaning his head on the inner door frame. "hello," his voice sounded tired. tired with himself. "please forgive me for how i’ve been acting. i know it’s not fair to you. it’s just…" 

"i know, you need more time. you like to say it," you muttered with a slight, strained grin. "by the way, here’s your tea. it’s just your usual order." you held it out it to him, and he looked down at it with softened eyes. as he went to grab it, his fingertips brushed over yours. he seemed more startled than you, but after a moment’s hesitation, he placed his hand back over top of yours.

"i haven’t been completely honest with you," he said. (that was certainly one way of putting it).

you held your breath, as if making a single noise could suddenly startle him back into the archives. 

"i… since that night, i haven’t known what to do with mysel—" he suddenly paused, frowning the tiniest bit. he leaned forward, seeming to concentrate on something with closed eyes. once they opened again, his pupils had constricted into slits, and he was staring intently at you. uh oh. 

"wh-what is it?" 

"where were you before this?" he took the tea from you and placed it somewhere next to the door frame inside the archives. 

your stomach flipped. was this really going where you thought it was? "um. i was wandering around aurum alley." it wasn't a lie. "why?" 

"that’s not all. what else?" he took you by the arm and drew you into the archives. it was an uncharacteristic mess in there. low-lit, and with clothes, books and items were strewn all over the place, perhaps as a reflection of his state. you watched the door close behind you, and when you looked back, there stood dan heng with his full vidyadhara look on display, right in front of you. uh oh. 

he stepped closer to you until you could feel the warmth of his body radiating off of him, then grabbing hold of your shoulders. it was a tight grip, but not enough to hurt yet. he dipped his head into the crook of your neck and drew in a long but quiet inhale. "what were you doing with jing yuan?" his voice was low, almost with a slight growl. as he spoke, his arms had wound around shoulders, so he was holding the back of your head, just like jing yuan was. only far harsher than the other’s ghost-like touch. 

yes, this was going the direction you thought it was. "we—we only met to talk about something," you sputtered out, your heart in your throat again.

"then why do i smell him on you, as if you were doing something more than just talking?" with a free hand, he took your jaw and turned your face towards him. he was only inches away from you, gazing at you with narrowed, dimly-glowing eyes. "why go to him when you have me?" 

you frowned, eyes wide. "huh? what do you mean i have you? you’ve refused to speak to me normally ever since the morning after you hauled me to your bed. besides, i-it’s not what you think." 

but your words were lost on him. "no, this won’t do." his voice was barely a murmur. he seemed to be living in his own version of the world. dragon-brain was back, evidently a fuller force than ever. you weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it wasn’t him drawing you even closer, placing his head in the crook of your neck and nuzzling. your face lit like an inferno as some kind of noise escaped your lips. it was really back to the nuzzling. only with surprising fervour, this time. he nestled his face into your neck, exhaling small sighs against you. his nose and lips brushing against your skin was almost ticklish, but you weren’t laughing when his tail snaked itself around your hips, twining itself down one of your legs. 

"d-dan heng?!" you cried when he suddenly lifted you with his hands clasped beneath the backs of your thighs, assisted by the tail. he had his mouth placed right over top of your collar bone, watching where he was going from over your shoulder. "dan heng, put me down!" you had to hold onto his back and shoulders for stability. 

he gave you no reply, only taking you back to his mussed futon. similar to his bed at the inn, the blanket was strewn in a way akin to the base of a nest. stray pieces of clothing made up the rest of lack-lustre structure—you could have sworn one of your own old shirts you’d forgotten somewhere was poking out from beneath a different article. dan heng sat himself down in the centre of the futon and brought you into lap. your position was a bit awkward as you sat perpendicular across from him. both your legs went one direction while your torso was turned to face him. he sunk his head into the crook of your neck again, drawing in more, shorter inhales. 

"seriously, wh—what are you doing?" 

"he’s still on you." he said against your shoulder, warmth breath making you shiver. there was a slight growl in his throat again. 

"even after that?" as you spoke, he tilted your head away, exposing more of your neck. "hey, w-wai—ah!" you made a cry of pain when a pair of fangs suddenly bit down into your shoulder. it wasn’t hard enough to draw much blood, but more than enough to hurt. you shuddered with some ungodly, almost harrowed noise when his tongue glided over what would blossom into a bruise. his arms and tail wound tighter around you, as if you might slip away at any second. he moved on, this time toward your jaw, peppering it with desperate kisses. you tried to say his name as he trailed down in between his own rapid-growing breaths. he was panting once he reached your shoulder, his kisses sloppy. in some work of miraculous dexterity, he had readjusted your seat on him until his waist was slotted between your legs. all the while, one hand was in your hair angling your head for his best reach, the other around your back. you had to hide your face in his hair when he had began making small vocalizations, something like tiny whines. 

you said his name again, this time louder when he trailed his fangs back up your shoulder. right after he left a hot kiss on your shoulder, he bit down again. you seethed in pain, trying to push his head off, but you were only met with purrs. even though he didn’t seem fully aware of what was going on, those purrs had to be weaponized against you. he shifted to another part of your shoulder, mouthing another kiss on it, but before he could bite, you grabbed his horn.

"dan heng!" you yanked his head back, surprising him. but instead of some sort of pained cry, he let out a heady moan. to your surprise, that noise slipping from his mouth seemed to restore his lucidity in an instant. his dilated eyes shot wide open and his hands flew to cover his mouth, almost sending himself backwards in the process. his face burned with embarrassment, colouring his cheeks and pointed ears in a bright crimson. you huffed, but didn’t remove yourself from your position. in fact, you anchored yourself down by locking your ankles behind his back if he were to try and push you off.

"(y/n) to dan heng, can you hear me?" you said, almost tempted to knock on his forehead. 

"i-it happened again," his voice was quiet in horror. 

"hey, i need you to listen to me before you clam up on me again." you brought one hand to the side of his face, gently making him look up at you. he jumped at the contact, sending his hands further up his face until they were covering his eyes. 

"please forgive me," he rushed out.

"look at me," you said softly, placing one hand on top of his to move it to the side—one of his faintly glowing eyes glanced at you. "i’m more happy to make out with you, but we need to talk first."

he made a strangled groan of embarrassment in answer, moving his hand back in place again. 

"are you listening?" 

he nodded.

"alright, the whole thing with jing yuan was me asking about you," you said. "i thought he might know a bit about you as a vidyadhara and your behaviour, so i went to ask what i could do to get you to let me into the archives. his idea was a less than tactful, but i guess it worked. that’s why ‘his scent was on me’, as you say. he only stuck his head on my shoulder for a bit because you’d be able to tell and then demand an explanation or something." 

his fingers had parted to show his eyes again, and they were staring in bewilderment. 

"so, i’m sorry for doing all that to you." your voice was soft. "i just wanted to see you."

"no, i should be apologizing. i have no control of myself and i haven’t been fair to you." he lowered his hands to hovering somewhere over his chest. "i was saying before… since that night, i have been an embarrassment. all i’ve wanted to do is steal you away and… smother you in affection until you returned it. the feeling was so intense that i didn’t trust myself around you, so i hid. i thought if i waited, it’d calm down, but it really only made it worse."

your heart swooned then and there, lighting a fire in your cheeks. "o-oh… so if i did return it, then you wouldn’t act like a lovesick ghost anymore?" 

"hey." he frowned, but his face soon fell back into the same flustered expression from before. "but to answer you, maybe after a while. i could also just get worse… but i really don’t want to subject you anything you don’t want." while he couldn’t meet your gaze, he still leaned his head into the palm of your hand. with a sigh, you held his jaw and angled his face to look at you again. 

"how many times do i have to say i don’t mind? you can’t seem to fit that one through that thick vidyadhara skull of yours." you did actually knock on his head this time, making him wince.

"i—i don’t know, i just get embarrassed." he hid face his face against your chest, face a shade redder and his ears drooping. "you also always look so shocked. i don’t want to do that to you." 

"that’s only because you tend to forget any kind of warning," you said with a light laugh. "truly, i like it—when you give me warning, that is—because i really like you too, stupid." 

his breath audibly hitched, and he raised his head back up. "t-too? but i’ve never said—" 

"are you kidding? you don’t need to say it when the aeons and their grandmas know. even march says it’s obvious. you’re seriously worried about that after you’ve made out with my shoulder sloppy style? by the way, what was with the bites?"

"ngh, don’t word it like that." his tail that was still tangled around you thumped against your back indignantly. "…and the bites are a weird territorial thing. i’m sorry if they hurt." he leaned his head against you, running his thumb over one of the marks.

"dragons…" you sighed with a smile. "you’re lucky you’re so cute." you pet his hair, and he leaned into your touch.

he moved his chin so it was on your collarbone, looking up at you with softened eyes. there were almost stars of reverence in them when he gazed at you. "i love you."

"wait, wha—" you began, but he swallowed the rest of your words when his lips were upon yours. he pressed himself up against you, his hands gently holding the sides of your face. as he kissed you, there was a faint rumbling and vibration coming from his chest—he was purring.  

he pulled back again, leaving you a little short of breath and a lot dazed. you’d always thought it’d be you that had to kiss him first, not the other way around. he began to leave another trail of kisses starting from your lips to your jaw, this time leading toward the other side he had already been. your hands fell from their place on him and inched onto his back while his lips were on your neck. one hand slipped into his back window, and he suddenly gasped. his back arched into you, almost knocking you over. he panicked, and his tail constricted behind you like another set of arms to catch you. 

"what was that?" you laughed, trying to re-steady yourself. 

"your hand was cold. i don’t know, i guess i have a sensitive back," he huffed. his ears were angled down and a flush was heavy on his face. you couldn’t really articulate what it was about him, but you were suddenly overcome with cuteness aggression. you leaned your weight onto him, sending him backwards onto the futon and—perhaps somewhat out of revenge—hovered yourself over top of his hips. he stared up at you with widened eyes and a held breath, frozen and waiting for your next move. 

"you said i need to return your affection, didn’t you?" 

he swallowed and nodded the tiniest bit. 

"so let me have some fun too, my beloved." you placed a hand on his cheek.

"wait, you heard—i actually said that?" it almost looked like steam would start rising from the top of his head at any point. 

"heard it loud and clear." you smiled to yourself, leaning down and managing to get your fingertips into his chest window—only for the door to slam wide open. 

"hey, it’s dinner! what’re you two even doi—!" march called, leaning her hand on the doorway. you and dan heng leapt off each other, landing on the opposite sides of his futon. march stared in silence for a long while before lolling her head back. "jeez, finally! anyway, can you two wait until after dinner? pom-pom’s ‘bouta blow a gasket waiting for you two."

"w-we’ll be there in a minute," you said, trying to readjust your collar to try and hide dan heng’s bite marks. 

"don’t be long!" march said as she strode back off down the hallway. a couple beats passed and you looked over at dan heng. by some miracle, he’d managed to swap himself back to his human look, but he still looked disheveled as he went to stand back up. 

he held a hand out to you and pulled you up, pausing for a moment. he glanced at the bite marks on your shoulder that still peaked out, made some sort of strained sound and then removed his coat. "they don’t need to see that," he said as he strung it around your shoulders, fixing the collar so it hid the marks from sight.

"i’m wearing your coat. march saw us before. if she learns something, it’s guaranteed to be said," you deadpanned. "they’ll know."

instead of giving you a direct response, he took your hand in his and lead you out of the archives, looking at you with what was probably meant to be a neutral expression. his light flush and knitted eyebrows betrayed him though. "can we at least pretend we have dignity?"

"i mean, sure, but it’s not gonna do anything, looking the way we do. now c’mon, don’t wanna keep the conductor waiting." you walked off with him in tow. 

he only made a small groan in response again. 

Dr. Ratio: the worst thing about idiocy is that you can't explain it to an idiot.

Y/n: damn, it must be hard to explain it to yourself then.

Dr. Ratio: what?

Y/n: what?