Plot Twist:theyre Both Freaks

plot twist:they’re both freaks 🚩‼️

putting this here too,, red flags art trend w my OCs! would you take any of these rats to dinner?👀

sleepyhead. (version one.)

in which you can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, at the most unconventional of places, which is how the traveller and paimon find out about your relationship with him.

pairing. neuvillette, scaramouche x gn reader

tags. fluff, slight(?) crack, established relationship

notes. if scaras part doesn't make sense i apologize in advance

alhaitham & lyney vers.

“Neuvillette, there's a — Wait. You're not Neuvillette…?”

Aether and Paimon stare at the sight, slightly dumbstruck. You're sprawled over the Chief Justice's desk, hair splayed over your face as you sleep. Your head rests on top of a few documents, and you're curled up in his seat as if it was exactly where you belonged.

Paimon frowns, floating over to you. She gives your shoulder a poke. You don't react. “Should we wake them…? Paimon doesn't think people are allowed to sleep in here, anyway.”

Aether disagrees. You wouldn't have been allowed in here if you didn't have something to do, right? That explained your presence, but it didn't explain why you were asleep in Neuvillette's chair… Besides, where was he?

Speak of the devil. Or, rather, dragon. The office door cracks open, and the man of the hour strides in.

“Neuvillette, there's someone sleeping on your desk!” Paimon informs him, “Should we wake them up?”

It's almost imperceptible, but Aether's gaze is sharp, and he catches the way the Iudex' eyes soften. He shakes his head. “No, leave them be. They will wake on their own accord.”

Paimon huffs. “That position definitely can't be comfortable… I say we move them to the couch there!”

Neuvillette seems to agree. Lifting you bridal style, he sets you on the couch gently. Swiftly, he pulls out a thick quilt from a cupboard and drapes it over you.

“You even have a blanket?!” Paimon squeaks, a little too loud. “Who even are they!?”

“My partner, of course.”

“YOUR PARTNER??”

Well, that was unexpected.

You stir.

Then, you bolt upright, leaping from the couch, eyes wide as your gaze lands on Neuvillette. “Shit, I fell asleep again, didn't I? I didn't mean to! I was going to surprise you but your chair is definitely too comfy for that and —”

He doesn't take more than three steps to reach you, easily snaking a hand around your waist. He only has to dip his head and his nose brushes against yours, silencing anything you had to say.

Aether has the strangest feeling that he's intruding on something too private.

“I assure you,” he murmurs lowly, “Seeing you is always a pleasant experience, surprise or no.”

You choke slightly, clearing your throat. “Don't be a sap.”

The both of you fall silent, just gazing into each other's eyes.

“Uhm,” Paimon interrupts awkwardly.

You screech, startling, head whipping back to see them. “You had guests over?! This is embarrassing. I'm leaving. Ta-ta!”

You bolt out of the room before anyone has any time to react.

“Was no one gonna tell me you were dating someone?!” Paimon accuses.

“Then, I must inform you that we are married.” There's a hint of a smile on Neuvillette's face now, as his eyes flicker toward the half-open door.

“I'm sorry, WHAT?”

“Hey, Aether, isn't that Hat Guy??” Paimon pipes in, pointing at Wanderer, formerly Scaramouche. “He looks really mad. Let's go see what he's up to.”

He did look mad. Furious, even. It's an odd expression to see on his face when Aether's used to his usual disinterest or mockery.

Except…

“Wait, he's walking towards someone. A sleeping someone. That's not good! We have to save them!”

The both of them rush up to him, interrupting his march toward his target. Aether stands in between you and Wanderer, acting as some sort of shield.

“What are you doing?” Aether asks.

Wanderer only scowls, swatting at him. “Get out of my way, you mewling quim.”

“No! We can't let you hurt them!” Paimon cries. “They're not even armed. They're asleep!”

He stops short at that. Confusion floods his features, which quickly morph into disbelief. “Hurt them? I'd never. Get. Out. Of. My. Way.”

Aether doesn't relent. The guy looks entirely too murderous to not hurt anyone. “What's up with them, then?”

Venomously, his lips part, probably to spew some insult but he's interrupted by a soft voice, thick with sleep.

“Kuni…?”

The change is instantaneous. Wanderer goes slack immediately, the usual tension gone. He brushes past Aether quickly.

“Idiot. Why were you sleeping here?” he snarks without bite, crouching down to your level.

That is a good question. You're at the outskirts of Sumeru city, dead asleep under a tree and against a rock. “Yea,” Paimon agrees, “Why are you sleeping here?”

You all but collapse into Wanderer's arms. He stiffens, and everyone can see his internal battle of whether to reciprocate or push you away.

He chooses the latter, sitting on the ground so that you're half in his lap. The shock is palpable between Paimon and the blond.

You glance upward at Aether and Paimon almost lazily, a casual smile on your face. “I was waiting for Kuni here, and I got tired.”

“Here is no place to fall asleep,” he snaps, but the effect is ruined due to the fact that you're in his lap. “You can sleep at home. You have a bed for a reason.”

“Geez, just say you were worried,” you lament lightheartedly.

Aether sits too, and Paimon follows. “Why were you waiting anyway?”

“We were gonna have a picnic! I have the basket right —” you turn to the ground near the tree, only to find it bare. You sigh, disappointed. “Oh. It's gone.”

“Nevermind that,” Wanderer sighs. “This'll serve as a reminder not to sleep outdoors like some street rat. We can get lunch at a cafe.”

“Okay, but is no one going to comment on this?” Paimon flails an arm between the two of you, and your positions especially. “Because this is just weird. Like. What is happening?!”

Wanderer turns his gaze onto her, violet eyes electrifying. “Speak one word of this and you'll never see the light of day again.”

Damn, okay then.

GOOD TIME MY FELLOW FISH LIKER-

I HAVE COME TO YOUR FISH MARKET FOR MORE FISH!

Eels specifically.

CONSIDER!!! Eel Twin of your choice with an eel apologist.

Like Jade feeds someone a poisonous mushroom and they're like "Your fault for not being resistant to posion lmao" or [Reader holding Floyd's face gently] Someone: "HOW CAN YOH DO THAT?! THAT IS A FACE OF A KILLER!!!" [Offended dramatic gasp from reader] "FLOYD IS BABY!!! HE IS INNOCENT!!! THOSE PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY DIED ON PURPOSE!!" [Proceeds to coo and squish Floyd's face]

SUMMARY: Jade & Floyd with an "eel apologist."

WARNINGS: None!!

COMMENTS: literally me!! this was so fun to write C:<

When Jade offered you a dish with his prized mushrooms in it, he did not expect you to eat it. Everyone else at the table looked on in horror as you ate, savoring the dish. You finish the entire thing, look up at everyone staring, and huff out a harsh, “What?”

One of the student side eyes Jade before leaning in and whispering something to you. Jade is smiling just as serenely as he always is, never giving anything away, never concerned for others' opinions.

“Are you stupid?” you tilt your head, words blunt and piercing, “Jade would never do anything like that. The dish was good, and you’d know that if you just tried it.”

You both know Jade would absolutely do whatever that poor soul suggested, but you still turn to Jade with an apologetic smile. “Thanks for the meal, Jade. It was really good.” You get up and hug him, squeezing him tightly just like his brother.

Jade, having been given an opportunity to stare down the people you were sitting with without being caught by you, smirks. His grin is wide, taunting, and they shudder. You all should know better than to try and turn Jade’s precious little pearl on him.

“Shrimpyyyy!” is all you hear before your friends grab your arm and try to tug you down the hallway, fear in their eyes. You, however, stay rooted to the spot as you try to wiggle your arm out of their hold.

You don’t quite do it in time, but Floyd helps you. He scoops you up by your armpits and tears you away from your friends with a soft gasp. “Why were you guys crowding around Shrimpy like a school of minnows?” he hisses, and he does not sound happy.

“Floyd! how’s my favorite little moray doing?” you squash his face between your hands, kneading the skin. Your friends gasp in terror, but Floyd looks like he just won the grand prize for an event.

“Little moray?” he giggles, swinging you around, “Careful, Shrimpy. This little moray might just eat you alive.” Your friends gasp and shudder, looking scared for your life, but you just lean in close and rub your noses together.

“That’d be a good way to go out.” you giggle, smacking a kiss on the tip of his nose, “But you’d never do something like that!” Your friends are about to protest, but Floyd pulls you close and glares at them over your shoulder. Oh, you’re definitely not the one he’d eat alive.

𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇

synopsis: wriothesley finds out you have a crush on someone and somehow manages to guess it’s on literally everyone but himself

characters: wriothesley x gn!reader

wc: 1.4k

warnings: fluff, a tiny pinch of angst and insecurity, my poor attempt at humor, slight miscommunication, friends to lovers, coworkers to lovers, swearing, first time writing for wriothesley so he might be ooc

notes: i almost made this angst to fluff but then decided i need to stop adding angst into literally everything i write (even though there’s like a tiny pinch of angst in here too 🙄). anyway, wriothesley is a lot harder to write than i thought he would be so i apologize if he seems ooc here

“Heard you gotta crush on someone,” Wriothesley teases as he walks into his office where you sit on one of his couches. You don’t even hear him walk in, too engaged in the book you were reading to pass time until you had to go through hundreds of inmate records to find something Neuvillette had requested.

His declaration is so sudden it almost makes you spit out the tea you had stolen from him.

Your eyes go wide as you stare at where he moves to lean against the front of his desk, arms crossed and waiting for an answer with that stupid smirk of his, “Hey now, that tea is expensive, so don’t go wasting it, okay?”

“Who told you about that?” you press for answers, a hint of anger in your voice as you ignore his previous statement about the tea. He had plenty to spare anyway.

Wriothesley’s smirk widens a bit, “So it is true.”

Damn him.

You don’t even bother trying to make an excuse, knowing your best friend all too well. He’d pick apart your words like weeds in a garden, finding meaning in them that you hadn’t even intended.

“And what if it is true?” you cross your arms defensively, glaring at him from across the room.

“At least tell me who it is,” he says as he rests his palms on the wooden desk behind him. When you don’t give in to his pleading, he playfully scoffs, “Oh c’mon, I’m your best friend! It’s kinda an obligation for you to tell me these things.”

You turn away, fixating your gaze on a nearby wall adorned with some weird painting he had hung awhile back, “Oh yeah? Since when? Last I checked there aren’t any rule books for being friends with someone. I don’t have to tell you a damn thing.”

“It’s Neuvillette, isn’t it?” he smiles knowingly. Perhaps that was why you were always the one receiving tasks from the Chief Justice instead of him — a guess at best, but enough evidence to convince him Neuvillette was the one.

No, you idiot. It’s you.

You snap your head back toward him, “What? No! I don’t like Neuvillette…not like that, at least. He’s nice and all, but I don’t think I’d be able to date the guy.”

“Damn, I really thought I had that one,” Wriothesley mumbles in defeat, pushing himself off the desk and instead moving to walk around the room as he thinks. It scares you. The fact that he’s so particular with facts and little details that it’s only a matter of time before he collects all the pieces to the puzzle and figures out he’s the one you like. What would he say when that happens? “Too nice, huh? So you like someone a little colder, then.”

Damn it, he got you again!

You don’t answer him.

“Not even going to try to deny it?”

“No,” you grumble to yourself, slumping further into the couch, “you’re only going to dig further anyway.”

He gives a satisfied hum, “Right, so it’s Clorinde then. I mean c’mon, we don’t get a lot of visitors, so it has to be her. She fits the description too.”

You exhaustedly sigh and swipe a hand over your face dramatically, done with his antics, “It’s not her either. And there is no ‘description.’”

He perks up in a way that makes you way too uncomfortable, “Navia?”

“No, I’ve never even met her aside from like one time two years ago,” you refute, sliding further down on the couch to fully lie down and shut your eyes, “I don’t get why you’re so excited over this.”

Wriothesley thinks for a moment before squinting his eyes, “Don’t tell me you have a crush on a prisoner?”

You teasingly peek an eye open while leaning back to look at him, “And if I did?”

“You better not,” he warns, pointing a stern finger at you like you were a prisoner and not his coworker.

You laugh to yourself at his sudden change of mood, “Relax, I was only joking!”

“Not funny,” he says unamused, prepared to pull out the prison’s rule book and slap it over your head if you did, “I’m really runnin’ out of people here.”

“Yeah, okay,” you say sarcastically, resisting the urge to roll your eyes, “thousands of people live in Fontaine. You’ll figure it out eventually.”

You really hope he doesn’t.

The following ten minutes consist of Wriothesley irritatingly pacing around the room and mumbling all sorts of names to himself. Some of which you recognized, others you had never even heard of before. And, despite all of your countless no’s to his guesses, he never gives up. Nor does he realize the answer is right in front of him.

“Just give it up already,” you finally interrupt as he stops in front of you.

A heavy sigh falls from Wriothesley’s lips as he collapses onto the couch, narrowly missing where your legs were outstretched. Defeatedly, he lays his head against the back of the sofa, shutting his eyes as he thinks a little harder. “Oh my god,” he says suddenly, head shooting up to look at you, “…don’t tell me.”

No way. Did he figure it out?

Your breath captures in your throat as his eyes flicker back and forth between your own, searching for some sort of truth. He knows. Your best friend knows that you have feelings for him — and not just the platonic kind.

His brows furrow and his face morphs into one of disgust. It makes your heart drop; the way he’s looking at you.

He doesn’t feel the same way.

“I can’t believe it,” he clicks his tongue in disgust, crossing his arms and turning his attention away from you, “you like Furina.”

Your jaw drops to the floor and suddenly you don’t feel bad anymore, “I actually can’t believe you just said that. Archons, I think you need to visit Sigewinne. I mean, seriously! Furina? Of all people!”

He grins and shrugs carelessly, “I don’t know? She was the last person I could think of.”

“Something is seriously wrong with you.”

“Clearly not so wrong that I couldn’t figure out that the person you actually like is me.”

“Oh please, I don’t even—wait, what? You knew?!”

A boisterous laugh erupts suddenly as you stare at him with wide eyes. You sit up on the couch quickly, slapping his shoulder as he continues to laugh, “Sorry, sorry!”

You don’t find it amusing, “I—when did you figure it out?”

His laugh eventually subsides into a drawn out sigh and his blue eyes soften a bit as they gaze into your own, “I’m not an idiot, you know? I wouldn’t be running this place if I was.”

“Right,” you mumble awkwardly, averting your gaze from his, “so, um, were you just doing all that to lighten the mood so you could let me down easily or…?”

“Or…what?” Wriothesley mocks you, a playful smirk pulling at his lips.

You roll your eyes with a scoff, “don’t make me say it.”

He spares you, luckily. It’s unlike him, but he doesn’t care to joke with you any longer when the subject is so serious, “Yes, I feel the same way. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“No, I totally wanted to hear you say you hate me and want me dead,” you say sarcastically, trying to fight a smile.

“I’m being serious, I really do like you,” Wriothesley presses, ignoring the way you’re becoming awkward from the nervousness floating in the air.

You finally exhale the breath you had been guarding in your chest, relieved that this didn’t go as horribly as you once thought it would.

The alarm sounding for dinner goes off after and you both stand from your places on the couch, “So what do we do now that that’s out of the way?”

Wriothesley falls into step next to you, holding the doors to his office open to let you out first, “We have our first date in the cafeteria, of course.”

Your face drops and you stop in your tracks to glare at him, “That better be a joke.”

He laughs it off quickly, not thinking you’d take it so seriously. Eagerly, he grabs your hand tightly in his as he pulls you to the exit of the Fortress, “Relax, I’m just teasing you! You deserve only the best, after all.”

“You are so annoying.”

“Only for you, sweetheart.”

Dangerous AU Redux : Octavinelle ┗(＾0＾)┓

How about checking some of those locked +kareshi on my ko-fi here?

Fontaine Mons part 1