Op This Is Such A Good Fucking Headcanon OMG

Op this is such a good fucking headcanon OMG

I can't stop thinking about Nikto being a melodramatic bitch, you can't talk to this man for shit.

Like you're trying to plan a date:

"Hey baby are you free tomorrow?" You ask with your phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder, comparing packages of chicken for dinner. You know he eats a lot. "No man is free when he has to work for a living," Nikto tells you without a hint of hesitation, "but we are available."

or he cuts himself helping with dinner:

He holds his sliced finger up to the light, inspecting the wound while your eyes widen. He seems to sense you panic, probably with the way you're furiously googling "how to tell if you need stitches" and glances your way, setting the knife to the side. "The only pain we cannot suffer is being away from you." He assures you. "That's great baby," You tell him in a rush, already grabbing your keys, "wrap a towel around that and get in the car.

Or worse still running into one of your friends:

You'd sent Nikto to grab some beer from the cooler, while you chat with your work friend at the pharmacy counter. She's nice, you like her, definitely could see her becoming an outside of work friend. Until Nikto shows up with the six pack in hand. "Woah, he is big." She grins, Nikto grunts and glances towards the bustling pharmacy technicians. "I bet you don't get much sleep with this guy around," Your friend jokes, nudging you with a wink. You feel yourself warm, your cheeks pulling at your lips with an embarrassed smile. "We do not sleep," Nikto grumbles, "we only fall into darkness until the sun brings us back." You wince. You friend gives you a look with a strained smile.

You just want him to stop saying odd shit.

Snores. REALLY loud. 😬 ONLY when you are in his arms 🙄 — when he sleeps alone, he is eerily silent.

I'm taking this and assuming it means that he's relaxed enough to snore because he knows you won't hurt him, and especially if he's sleeping during the day, he knows you've got his back. He wouldn't admit it but maybe he subconsciously knows that his lover is just as protective of him as he is of them. He knows they'd never let anyone hurt him, so his body finally leaves fight or flight mode when resting next to them

Idk if I'm just reading too much into that but it's what I'm taking from it. Nikto trusts his lover so so much

I'm rambling now but imagine his lover got accused of being a rat and there was sizable evidence against them and he just doesn't believe it. He just goes "no" and helps his lover hide because he's not an idiot, he knows they'll be tortured for information they don't have if they stay, and if they got tortured, he'd have to kill everyone involved and then punish himself for, in his eyes, allowing it to happen.

Meanwhile he works to find out who the actual traitor is, and when he finds out they intentionally framed his lover?

Not good things

🪼

YES, 🪼 ANON!!! YOU GET IT!!! 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️

Because being on high alert is exhausting. Being hyperaware of every noise — inside and outside —, every gust of wind, every breath, rise and fall in temperature, every movement... it's exhausting.

Personally, I headcanon Nikto to be a light sleeper when he's on active duty — so light that rarely truly sleeps* (or, better put: it's rare for him to get any sleep. Sleep deprivation could be the cause of those permanently red eyes of his?), as he can still recognise the sounds around him and is ready to engage with any enemy planning to stab him in his "sleep".

Before Zakhaev, he was cautious. After Zakhaev, he's paranoid.

Any noise could signal an enemy's stealthy approach: a creak in the floorboard? a passing car? footsteps echoing along the wrong? voices whispering in the night? a tusle of his bedsheets, easily to be mistaken for rustle of someone's combat gear as they adjust their pistol to aim it at his forehead? Man gets no sleep... ☹️

That's why he's eerily silent — because a.) he has to be aware of any and all dangers and b.) if he can neither be seen nor heard, no enemy can capture him, can they?

*LITERALLY as I was writing this (little by little since you sent the ask in), this headcanon showed up on my feed, and Nikto stating this is SO fitting: "We do not sleep, we only fall into darkness until the sun brings us back". PLS ITS LITERSLLT HIM? +++?? +++? @??

However, I imagine him as a deep sleeper at heart, and when he has finally no rational reasons to be paranoid, he can relax. Somewhat.

He's still as stiff as a board: lays flat on his back, arms by his sides, legs straight, and all that; however, it's with his partner only when he can actually relax, as 1.) with them laying on his chest/by his side, they are safe, they aren't in any danger, they are okay 2.), their presence brings him solace and peace like no other 3.), he isn't alone anymore, he doesn't have to protect himself and focus on his survival, since he can now just... live, as opposed to survive,

and 4.), because (like you said! 🤭❤️), his partner would be just as protective of him as they are of them. <3

To ease his stress and alleviate the paranoia at least a little, they vow to care for him and take care of him, and to demonstrate through small but meaningful acts that he doesn't have to be fiercly independent and self-reliant, but can depend on and trust his partner, too. 🥹

Maybe the relationship that he has with his partner has no one person depending on the other, but a codependent one — Nikto can provide safety, security, shelter, and protection in a physical sense, while his partner can provide all of those aforementioned in the emotional sense (but physical probably too because I would scratch whoever the FUCK had the balls to pick on my man??????,, HISSING and SCREECHING and CLAWING like a fucking cat!!!!!! 😠😠😾😾😠😾

//Also bro you can't apologise for rambling then give the BEST writing prompt EVER??? KISS KISS MUAHM MUAHHH 💋💋,, NEED TO WRITE A DRABBLE FOR THIS!!! 🤭🤭

pls bear w me tho... 😞,, hope u don't mind that im a slow writer 🥲

Imagine Nikto's crush accidentally calls him by some cutesy nickname while they're at a military base but no one expects the following

Y/N: Nikto, dear, could you help me get that down? It's a bit heavy and I-

At this point, everyone who heard it is frozen, they remember what happened to the guy who called Nikto by something other than his call sign, and now they've gone and called him dear

Nikto: Stop yammering, I'll help.

Y/N: Oh, thank you hon

They did it again, arguably worse this time

Once the time is down, Nikto took it down by himself, of course, he just leans into their ear and says something

And they just smile and whisper something back with a small nod

They thought Nikto would at the very least threaten them but no

Nikto: Don't call me that again in public

Y/N: Oh, okay 🩷 sorry about that

THIS IS SO CUTE 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💖💖✨✨✨💞💞💖💞💞💖💖✨

GUYS PLS RESD THIS^^^^^,, ANON IS DOING GOD'S WORK RIGHT HERE PLSOSLSLS THIS IS SO SO SO SWEET 😭😭😭😭💓💓💓💓💓💓

Nikto who fr would hug you even if you're sweating or he's sweating. Like I just know he'd see you come back from a sport or an activity, maybe the gym and you're all sticky from sweat but he still wants a hug so he gives you one anyway. You gonna be like "But I smell!" and he'd be like "Congratulations, 95 percent of the population can smell things too. Hug, now." And he'd full on take the stinky hug cuz he's so happy you're back :)

Frr. The man sees sweat on you like some sort of gift. A very stinky gift nonetheless a gift. This is due to the fact he is a territorial son of a bitch, something about the way you smell that just makes him pull you close into a hug and take in a deep whiff.

"I'm literally sweaty Nikto."

"All dried up."

He says it as an excuse but it really doesn't explain his actions.

The moment he comes back from the gym and he's off to pull you on his lap, covering you in his scent until you know exactly what he smells like.

He does it mindlessly too so it doesn't matter if he's just come down from heaven itself he's laying on you and taking in a good stench. Turning into a makeshift weighted blanket because he falls asleep after intercourse to trap his partners if he likes them enough.

Nikto with a flower he clearly ripped out from someones garden: 🌷 Take it.

S/O, flustered: I'll bury you in a shallow grave.

Nikto: Shallow? Don't be stupid, you'll get caught.

Nikto: Six feet at least, vertically.

S/O: Or maybe I'll just find a hungry boar.

Imagine taking Nikto's cigarette from his deformed lips to snatch a kiss from him before poking his cigarette back in between his mouth.

Like, he's just sitting alone with the bottom half of his mask clipped up so he can take in his daily dose of nicotine, malnourished lips making him unable to have the best suction so the cigarette burns before he's even done with it.

But when you managed to sneak up on him smoking away on cheap cigarettes, you couldn't help your greedy fingers as you creeped up and snatched it. Nikto was damn about ready to jump you, but seeing that it was only you, his beloved friend and coworker, he could let it slide. Just this once, he tried to convince himself.

But it became routinely. He'd pull out a cigarette and light it for himself before handing it to you for you to take a drag. While tobacco wasn't exactly a favourite of yours, you only took a drag simply because Nikto had put his mouth on it before you.

An indirect kiss, perhaps?

~~~

@fishsinsareacknowledged @zoloftwithdrawalnausea @simp4konig @vxmpyree @frogcereal29 :))