Finally...

Finally...

This lesbian visibility week, I'd like to take a step back and bring to light one of the issues the lesbian community has. Specifically, those with gender binaries.

And yes, I do mean multiple. We all know and hate the man/woman binary, but in its wake many different gender binaries have risen out of the queer community.

The gender binary I'd like to talk about is nonman/man.

(I'd like to preface this by saying if you like this definition for yourself, that's fine! I'm talking about a certain kind of lesbian that pushes this definition onto everyone around them.)

I was there on TikTok when this definition rose to popularity, and even then I was uncomfortable with it. This obsession with men, or lack-there-of, went a bit too far when they tried to make it the central definition of lesbianism.

However, as I'd soon learn, the lesbian community is only as obsessed with men as they are because TERFs infiltrated us back in the 80s/90s. Cishet TERFs came in, saying that lesbianism was the only moral orientation for a woman to have, and worked to exclude anyone they deemed too "manly" out of lesbianism. This included all transgender and non-binary people, people of color (because they were "fighting for men's rights"), bisexuals, and butches. This was known as lesbian seperatism.

The lesbian community is still healing from lesbian seperatism, and there's still people who participate in what I call "modern lesbian seperatism". Excluding butch lesbians who feel a connection to manhood (lesboys/butchboys), excluding lesbians whose orientation is as multiple and complex as their gender (bisexual lesbians), it can be a dangerous thing just trying to live online as a gender-complex lesbian.

So, as a request this week of lesbian visibility, I'd appreciate it if you'd consider multigender people more in your lesbianism. There are women who are men who are women. There are butches who are men. There are lesbians who're bisexual, and yes that's often an expression of gender-complexity. Take the time to talk to us, hear what we have to say; you'll probably learn more about your history. :)

jumping on this rn. ripping it apart with my teeth (I like it a lot).

why does nobody else call it tbutch. trans butches. tboy butch swag. are you getting me??? tbutch swag

So much of what society treats as a joke is just mocking disability. Their idea of lazy is a disabled person trying to survive, whether that be living with their parents as an adult or using pre prepared food. Cringe culture is based entirely around mocking neurodivergent people and their interests. Symptoms and characteristics of disability such as urgency issues, drooling, tremors, tics, strabismus and speech impediments are used as cheap punchlines.

In children’s tv shows disabled characters such as those with speech impediments are treated as a joke, with symptoms of disability being portrayed as synonymous to stupid.

This idea is being taught from a young age in the media and it’s engrained into our language and culture. This goes beyond jokes, it contributes to the alienation of people with disabilities.

Once you start noticing these things you realise how constant and normalised it is.

Reducing an entire person to a punchline is wrong. Using a disability symptom as an insult is wrong. It’s disturbing how normalised it is to not treat people with basic decency and respect.

And if the a-specs don't feel any type of love or attraction people have issues with that too

The queer community can't even accept masculinity

"we need more weird queers!!"

you start parroting TERF talking points the milisecond someone says they are a lesboy or gaygirl

you cry when mspec lesbians/gays exist

you refuse to use neopronouns or it/its, even when those are a persons only set of pronouns

you expect a-specs to experience attraction in some way (yes, that includes platonic attraction)

you exclude intersex people

you can't even accept furries.

almost all of the 'mean lesbian uwu' people are just white misandrists too. try being a little too mean as a black person and you get demonized and/or thrown in jail but white women can be all kinds of dickish with no consequence

please don't kill me for this, based on my own experiences but, I wish marginalized white people would listen to the voices of BIPOC especially if they're ALSO marginalized too.

I'm getting tired of dealing with and seeing constant tokenism and microagressions or straight up racism especially from white people. I'm tired of people also speaking over us. I hate how queer spaces especially on this fuckass website feel so white usamerican centered. guhhh