This Gravity-defying Run Features Tons Of Enemy Bouncing, Claw Swinging Acrobatics And Pulling It Off

This gravity-defying run features tons of enemy bouncing, claw swinging acrobatics – and pulling it off is every bit as tough as it looks!

Unfortunately I flubbed up right at the end, but it’s a relatively minor mistake and getting this run took over 45 minutes, so I stuck with it.

Moonshot Scaffold | SSG-R79-3HF

A treacherous ascent up a space elevator that’s still under construction! As you go up, less of the elevator is constructed – meaning fewer platforms to catch you if you fall. One slip could send you tumbling back through the stratosphere…

I’m finally getting more comfortable with the idea of finishing college at some point.... if I don’t also have to work. I would have to completely switch out one for the other, which is not possible currently, but at least I can dream about it now!

I had about a year left, but it would probably end up being two, simply because the CS curriculum has to update as fast as the industry does; I was mostly doing C++ in college, which is less of a thing now. I’d have to catch up with Python or Javascript or whatever the kids do these days.

Besides, a second year means I could fit some electives in – art, higher math, music, psychology, improv??? Frankly, that's the most exciting part! These are all things that I enjoy enough to want more formal training with, or never had any in the first place.

Despite knowing it would take extra time, I really would like to finish my degree! That’s a huge step up from this time last year. I’m finally starting to get past the amount of stress that just thinking about it would put on me.

The burnout? Not so much, still dealing with that.

But if I had to work on top of college, for two years, then I would either have to do part time and focus only on the classes I need to finish – skipping electives entirely – or I would explode into a bunch of tiny stress sprinkles. More importantly, it would probably be both.

And so, despite my stance changing from last year, the answer is roughly the same: “It’s not in the cards right now.”

wow look at all of this repressed stuff in my brain!! there's like a whole person in here!!! i gotta dig this up and start using it ok how do i express these things like other people do

...................................uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i'm pretty sure that both my struggle to express myself and the fact that all of this stuff is repressed to begin with stem from the same issue, which is one of complete alienation

it's a little hard to explain, so strap in...

i have a very small and tight-knit circle of interests, mostly guided by one Special Interest:

✨ Video Games ✨

and surprise surprise, most people in my life are not into those things. nobody's ever bullied me for it, or anything, but nobody knew how to support it either.

i was homeschooled so i didn't get to hang out with other kids my age very much. most of them were into other things like sports, and i had no connection there. besides, they already had friends from school. once i turned ten i stopped trying to make friends myself.

the few friends i had who *were* into video games were either church friends or family friends, and lived far enough away that we had to drive there. which would happen when my parents wanted to meet up with theirs, not when i did.

so i got to see them like once a month, maybe.

that means most of my time was spent with adults… who have better things to do than listen to some kid babble about nonsense they don't understand, like games.

i actually used to autism spout, if you can believe that. most of it was met with some variant of "that's nice, dear"

so i learned to just… accept that nothing i had to say was important. that everyone else had more important things to talk about. that i was supposed to sit in my corner and wait for someone to reach out to me first out of pity. that i would be left out most of the time.

it seems silly for that to happen over video games, but remember: i have autism, and that's my special interest. it's all i have to express myself with. i didn't learn much else!

i did figure out how to express myself creatively, but honestly... that just added to the loneliness.

and trust me, i know people are allowed to have other interests and that sometimes i should just stop and listen.

in fact i would usually say i'm proud of my listening and observation skills,

except i am now 25 and still feel like i haven't really had my turn to speak?

truthfully, as an adult, i've had a few chances. but at this point it's not even alienation anymore, it's repression from being made to feel Unimportant. every chance i've had to lead the conversation, or come up with a topic… i don't say it. because who cares other than me?

and when someone else is already talking about other things, i just go into Listening Mode, because i have nothing to contribute. unsurprisingly, that is still most of the time. most other people have diverse interests, or they talk about other people that i don't know, etc.

so i sit there with nothing to say. while they have everything to say. because they know how to express themselves, and i never got the chance to figure out.

and this happens every time.

i can be at the same table as ten people who i call close friends and still feel completely alone, simply because they are all chatting about or doing something that i have nothing to contribute to. (that's not an exaggeration. this has happened. several times.)

and it's not just talking! i can be with a friend, who invited me there, playing video games together, and still feel like i am wasting their time that they could be spending doing more important or fulfilling things that they would probably like better!!

i don't get it!!!

the most i've ever gotten to express myself through my interests without feeling alienated for it… is here. social media. and y'all know this isn't the healthiest way for me to go about it.

but at least it's better than those empty pity interactions. ("so how's work going?")

anyway i realize i've focused a lot on "talking" and "video games" in this post but please know that the general sense of alienation and chronic loneliness is pervasive and affects a lot more than just those things. this is just the most direct way that i know to illustrate it

and even then, there's a whole lot more that i've repressed for so long. this is just the one that i'm the most familiar with, as i dig down into this huge mess of other things that i had no idea existed

it's a lot. there's so much. it's gonna take time to work through it all.

My most ridiculous level yet comes with an equally ridiculous speedrun! I did mention there were different routes in this level, right? This was my clear check run ✨

Treasure Tower Takedown (v2) | TGL-L3V-6FG

A mysterious tower with untold riches has appeared over the Mushroom Kingdom, and Bowser’s armada is storming in to search it by force. Race to the top to claim the treasure before Bowser does! Featuring multiple routes, secrets, and even endings, but a very tight challenge – this one’s for super players!

Moonshot Scaffold | SSG-R79-3HF

A treacherous ascent up a space elevator that's still under construction! As you go up, less of the elevator is constructed – meaning fewer platforms to catch you if you fall. One slip could send you tumbling back through the stratosphere...

we all know adhd leads to forgetfulness, but here's some especially insidious ways that this wears on me:

i forget about things that i'm looking forward to, like games, events, or days off – so my future looks bleak, boring, distant, and joyless, as though every day is just going to be another day of Work and Not Much Else.

i forget about my own burnout and how little energy i have – then i push myself too hard and collapse almost instantly, over and over again. then i guilt myself about being so tired all the time!

i forget about my own accomplishments, no matter how big or small – leading to a strong sense of imposter syndrome and even worthlessness. digital projects hidden in folders away from sight, physical works fading into background noise on a shelf somewhere…

i even forget my own emotional state, and the events that lead up to it – meaning i usually end up internalizing all my feelings, bottling them away for years without ever acknowledging or processing them, simply because i forgot they were there!

my world consists entirely of what's in front of me right now, and what's on my mind right now. even then, i don't even have my whole present, much less any of my past or future.

i'm just doing my best with what i have, in the moment.