Burnout - Tumblr Posts
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Quote from my mom "I know you're smart but sometimes you're really illogical."
"you live in your own little world and then all of a sudden you're back and everyone's like 'Come on already'"
I know this. I've always known this do you want me to hold a sign that says I may have autism and ADHD? I need advice for actual ways to get through this and stuff.
Like I know school where I live is like two months away but I also know that for a little while in school I'll be fine turning my shit in and then all of a sudden something will happen and I'll stop. Reminders don't help, nothing helps and I'm tired of it
My mom just described my literal symptoms of autism back to me and I'm like "yeah I'm autistic dip shit my brain literally works differently" she's being a bit of a bitch right now because she and my entire family other than me shouted at grandpa for his brain working differently than theirs and it makes me feel shitty.
Remaking fanart!!!!
A gift for @manofthepipis and their Deltarune Fanfic [System Rebooting: Please stand by.]
Part 2 -> [[Data Recovering]]
I felt like I improved a lot on my art style and wanted to test it out. I'm still slowly being consumed by the Spamton brain rot that is deeply rooted within this fanfic (please send help…💀)
Originally I wanted to draw Neo or the Chaos Duo (Spamton & Jevil) but I ultimately decided to remake an old fanart I did a couple of months back.
Old
New
Timelapse
this took me two days and 16 hours to finish and I am officially burnt out. I might just draw some more random Deltarune or Undertale stuff. I’m really proud of it though!
Live footage of a burnt out artist :D
Will I ever recover from the brainrot? Will I ever answer Q/A for the pocket crew? Who knows🤷♀️
stay tuned to find out :D
This is some old vent art I made about burnout, and feeling like I had to entertain others. I realize now that friendship is a two-way street, and that I'm not supposed to be someone else's toy or pet. I am a human being. To whoever's reading this: you are also a human being, and you are loved ❤️❤️❤️
I don't want to change
But there is this feeling in my stomach
This tightening hold in my chest
These tears that are so easy coming
I'm not ready for change
I will be treading a new world with such little experiences
It's going to take such a long time and patience, and I have neither
Maybe I have to change
I can't go on like this, I'm sabotaging myself
I'm deliberately dying to feel control
But every time I try to change I never succeed how then will I know that this also doesn't end in failure?
I'm afraid that I'll try again and won't succeed
I don't want to go back into that hole
Everything seems fine for now so why am I feeling this way?
Why am I hesitating to change if it is for the best?
What am I feeling?
What is this?
I don't want to change
But there is this feeling in my stomach
This tightening hold in my chest
These tears that are so easy coming
I'm not ready for change
I will be treading a new world with such little experiences
It's going to take such a long time and patience, and I have neither
Maybe I have to change
I can't go on like this, I'm sabotaging myself
I'm deliberately dying to feel control
But every time I try to change I never succeed how then will I know that this also doesn't end in failure?
I'm afraid that I'll try again and won't succeed
I don't want to go back into that hole
Everything seems fine for now so why am I feeling this way?
Why am I hesitating to change if it is for the best?
What am I feeling?
What is this?
I don't want to change
But there is this feeling in my stomach
This tightening hold in my chest
These tears that are so easy coming
I'm not ready for change
I will be treading a new world with such little experiences
It's going to take such a long time and patience, and I have neither
Maybe I have to change
I can't go on like this, I'm sabotaging myself
I'm deliberately dying to feel control
But every time I try to change I never succeed how then will I know that this also doesn't end in failure?
I'm afraid that I'll try again and won't succeed
I don't want to go back into that hole
Everything seems fine for now so why am I feeling this way?
Why am I hesitating to change if it is for the best?
What am I feeling?
What is this?
I don't want to change
But there is this feeling in my stomach
This tightening hold in my chest
These tears that are so easy coming
I'm not ready for change
I will be treading a new world with such little experiences
It's going to take such a long time and patience, and I have neither
Maybe I have to change
I can't go on like this, I'm sabotaging myself
I'm deliberately dying to feel control
But every time I try to change I never succeed how then will I know that this also doesn't end in failure?
I'm afraid that I'll try again and won't succeed
I don't want to go back into that hole
Everything seems fine for now so why am I feeling this way?
Why am I hesitating to change if it is for the best?
What am I feeling?
What is this?
"Sometimes i think that i am happier on my own it is a feeling that i am well acquainted with however when i am around those who would rather not be alone it is then that i grow remorseful towards my lifestyle i wonder whether it is worth the demanding friendships and challenging group dynamics just so that i have someone to spend time with after school i know that i am happier now than i ever would be sharing my time with another but sometimes i wonder is being an outsider worth the loss?"
sometimes i am simultaneously without thought whilst drowning in them my mind will not stop while not allowing me to do anything else there is so much to do and so much to write yet i am incapable of it all i feel sick tired saddened and enraged something inside of me is filled with anger and hubris yet i cannot determine its source my exhaustion shall not allow perhaps i shall simply lie down and die.
my mind it shall not stop its nonsensical ramblings on and on it goes about one thing or another to silence it is something that i would be willing to die for for it has been years since i have known any peace.
i always feel so lost distracted while longing for success suffocated by this pressure to be perfect that can never be relieved i fear that it shall be what kills me in the end these days the only thing that comes naturally to me is my words but i never have the strength to put ink to paper i want to live without this shame and guilt but i doubt such a day will come.
this is why i cannot stay with you my strengths are treated as weaknesses and i am left with no value at all perhaps another should want me in a way that you do not whether i must cross the sea or travel the world i will find them those who shall not take me for granted and you shall regret ever letting me go.
i want nothing but beauty to spill onto this page yet i cannot. i am no brilliant writer i am merely a girl.
i am hungry. perhaps i will starve.
i am finally feeling again.
