Oh Goddamn

Oh goddamn

Cynical reader ✅

Mint Yoongi ✅

Excellent story ✅

Sexy time ✅

I’m here for it. One thousand kisses to you, author. Let me go devour your master list now 🤩

lining’s silver; myg

➳ pairing: fashion designer!yoongi x artist!reader

➳ genre: college AU, idiots to lovers, e2l, smut, fluff

➳ wc: 14.1k

➳ synopsis: you would rather die than confess you’re capable of feeling anything but disdain towards the rich and privileged, so you make it known, loud and clear, that going on a bunch of dates with min yoongi is nothing more than an academic arrangement for the sake of your gpa. holding hands and catching f*elings for him? that’s all part of the plan, so don’t get the wrong idea.

or as jeongguk likes to call it, “matchmaking 101: how to get two tsunderes to fall in love.”

➳ warnings: explicit language, pining, mention of family issues, alcohol consumption, mint yoongi >:), fingering, oral (f receiving), penetration, dirty talk, lowkey dumbification

➳ a/n: this is dedicated to my birthday neighbor and my favorite clown in the world, @moominyg​ !! the fluff is for you, but the smut is for me >:) happy birthday to us :D and thank you for pretending that you didn’t know about this gift LOL

You’ve been told that “hate” is a strong word, but you can wholeheartedly say that you detest a lot of people. 

For whatever reason, college has only made this feeling fester in your heart like an ember that’s ready to ignite. Before, you’ve considered the possibility that maybe you’re just being cynical. But on the other hand, you know for a fact that you’ve had too many run-ins with snobby film majors and arrogant theater kids for their abhorrible attitude to be more than a mere coincidence. Contrary to popular belief, enjoying Game of Thrones does not make you tasteless and not knowing Alexander Hamil-something does not make you uncultured. 

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Whoever dressed Binnie in this outfit, I want to kiss them on the mouth. 🥵🤤

CHANGBIN | GET LIT AAA ASIA ARTIST AWARDS 2023 [231214]

Hehehehehehe I am evilly laughing at this. I love snarky characters so much especially with Yoongi. So fucking hot and the perfect amount of buildup. Chefs kiss!

want a taste? | myg

part of the you never shop alone (ynsa) collab with @underthejoon and @kpopfanfictrash, based on this post!

summary⇢ pretzel pro. most skillful tongue in the food court world. allegedly. that’s what yoongi keeps telling you, anyway. of course, you’re reasonably skeptical of his claims—but if there’s one thing that motivates the notoriously-lethargic man, it’s proving skeptics wrong. pairing⇢ yoongi/reader word count⇢ 18.3k 😱😱😭😭😭 rating⇢ 18+ genre⇢ smut | humor | friends to lovers | shopping mall!au  warnings⇢ oral (female receiving), fingering, overstimulation, dirty talk, inappropriate and semi-public canoodling, very brief mention of suicide and depression (because this is a yoongific), taehyung is yoongi’s biggest fan but oc is coming for him lbrh 😌

a/n⇢ everybody thank @underthejoon for this gorgeous header 💖💖

THIS TOOK ME SO FUCKING LONG, i have NEVER written anything this long without splitting it up before in my entire life, omg. writing something this long in one go honestly made me wanna pull my hair out lmao. but we here!! we made it and it’s done and i hope you enjoy it 😩😭💕 mood for this fic is this song. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOONGI, ILY 🤧💖

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Hehehehehehe I love this. I love how Yoongi is so direct and we are just along for the ride. I’ve read this several times and I can’t believe I haven’t reblogged it before.

pairing: yoongi x reader // word count: 15.8k // genre: smut

summary: your idea of a good night certainly doesn’t involve being stood up by yet another blind date and finding yourself alone in a fancy bar; fortunately for you, there’s an attractive man playing the piano to keep you busy, instead.

warnings: sexually explicit content (NSFW), cursing, minor consumption of alcohol, oral (m and f receiving), protected sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, pet names, slight exhibitionism, slight praise kink, light dom/sub undertones if you squint ig (reader is kind of subby)

– –

Throughout the years of your life, you’ve learned a few things. Some of them are pretty obvious (buying suspiciously cheap sushi from a petrol station is like playing Russian Roulette with food poisoning and diarrhoea), some of them are less so (just because something is ‘on sale’ doesn’t actually mean that it’s cheaper if they’d increased the overall price beforehand), but one thing that you’re only just starting to learn is that— for all that Jimin says otherwise— blind dates will always stand you up.

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The way I got out of bed for a standing ovation — I don’t know what goes on in your mind but I just want to crawl inside and live there. Mind blown. Just wow.

day 5 · 「déclencheur」

❝𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚏𝚏.❞

➥ Model!Minho x Photographer!Reader (f) — 3.5k

➥ The author chooses not to tag every single act to preserve some element of surprise where applicable. By continuing, you accept to read at your own risk. Read full disclaimer here.

⚠ — Crass & objectifying language, raw depictions of sex, praise kink.

➥ It’s a known fact that Lee Minho is a whore for compliments, but it’s a particularly useful piece of information when you want to seduce the shit out of him.

If you had Lee Minho on the cover of your magazine, that issue was a guaranteed killer sale. Regardless of his obscenely high booking fee, he was the it guy everybody was after to do a pictorial with. So pleasant to look at, extremely attractive, smolder for days, practically a modern-day sex icon who could and would fuck you through a goddamn photograph.

Your shoot days with him were more like a self-indulgent me time rather than work due to how aggressively you were flirting with each other. He probably did this with everyone, but who would give a rat’s ass really? Your ego was getting stroked to the point of having violent orgasms, and you weren’t complaining.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t have the teensiest bit of a crush on him, though.

“There’s my favorite model,” you greeted him into your studio, “How we doin’ today, pretty?”

“We would do fucking great if someone didn’t forget the Cartier pieces,” Minho shot death glares to his assistant by the door, “You like the styling at least?”

“Give the man a break. You look fantastic,” you reassured him and grabbed your camera, “Ready to begin?”

Poof. On cue. Minho’s entire personality changed into whatever you wanted it to be every time he walked in front of your lens. You wanted dreamy? You got it. You wanted a player? You got it. You wanted an unhinged serial killer? You got it, got it, got it.

“Show me your side profile again?” you shot five frames back to back, “Fucking gorgeous.”

What you absolutely loved about working with Minho was what a goddamn exhibitionist he was, and unapologetically so. You never had to indulge in camera foreplay with him because he was just always in the mood. Every time you had a shoot together, not only was he clearly into it, but it was almost like he was striking these bold-ass poses on purpose to seduce you, manspreading, excessive use of his tongue and lips, literally feeling himself as if to say ‘You wanna hit this, don’t you?’, taunting you without a single word. You knew why that was, of course. 

Minho fished for praise like the attention whore he was every chance he got, and to his absolute pleasure, you were never stingy with it.

“Thank you, everyone, for your hard work,” you wrapped up the shoot and addressed the set, “If you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone with my model. I’ll do a few more shots for my portfolio now that I have him cornered.”

It was standard practice at this point. Minho never said no to having extra photographs taken by you on the condition that you provided him with the digital copies right afterwards. The set was cleared momentarily, and you looked Minho up and down, grinning to yourself thinking about the alleged concept you concocted.

“Shall we do a little exercise? So that you can get in the zone,” you changed the memory card of your camera, “What turns you on, pretty?”

“The question is pretty redundant, don’t you think?” he sprawled on the leather tufted chair he was posing on moments ago, “Are you asking on purpose to hear it out loud?”

“Hear what out loud?”

“That it’s you that turns me on,” he pressed two fingers on his right temple, “I can’t stay soft when I have a shoot with you, and I think you know.”

“Are you sure it’s me because I can bet money it’s the compliments.”

“What if it’s you showering me with compliments?” 

You squinted your eyes, thinking about how Minho had this compulsive need to have the last word. You walked towards him and lowered your body to be at his eye level.

“Why do you like hearing how gorgeous you are so much?”

“You know you like it when I hardcore simp over you. You’re no better than me,” he mockingly chuckled, “Shall we do a little exercise?”

He suddenly sat up in his seat and brought his face millimeters away from yours. He was so close, you could practically feel his lips on you.

“You’re the sexiest fucking woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on, and you get me weak as fuck in the knees,” he spoke in a voice at least one and a half octaves lower, “Everybody knows how bad I wanna fuck you.”

“Do they?” you sneered with an amused expression on your face.

“Yes, because I tell them.”

“You actually tell people that you want to fuck me.”

“No, I tell them I want to blow your back out so fucking hard you won’t be able to walk straight for a week.”

This was way past your usual back-and-forth at this point, and you were goddamn perjuring yourself if you claimed you weren’t aroused even in the slightest. A part of you absolutely wanted to close the microscopic distance between you, but the other well-versed-in-Minhoism part of you got the sickest pleasure from not giving him what he wanted and was dying to see how far he was willing to take it.

“Has anyone ever told you you might be giving too much credit to yourself?”

“Free trial,” he reclined back in his seat, exhibiting the outline of what you could be sitting on like a badly wrapped present, “If you’re not satisfied, 200% money back guarantee, no questions asked.”

You snorted in amusement and went back to your camera, changing the setting to monochrome and zooming in on his eyes.

“If you give me what I want, I’ll take you up on your offer.”

That was the beauty of macro lenses. If you zoomed close enough, you could see the unspoken words flash in someone’s eyes, and Minho’s were currently screaming ‘No fucking way’ even though his façade was perfectly intact.

“Name your price,” he smugly demanded instead.

You peeled your eyes off your viewfinder and looked directly into his eyes.

“I want to shoot nudes of you.”

He was surprised, but not because of the shock value. He just thought you would throw something much harder at him.

“That’s nothing.”

“While you’re masturbating.”

Now he was contemplating. Stripping was one thing—he modeled for boudoir photographers from time to time himself, but even though Minho was infinitely comfortable with his sexuality, masturbating without knowing where these photos could end up at…

But it was you for fuck’s sake.

“Do you guarantee you’re not going to make a profit off of these without my knowledge?”

“Absolutely.”

“And you’ll sleep with me?”

“No.”

You pushed a nearby leather armchair next to the camera and assumed the exact same position as him. You looked like mirror images of each other.

“I’ll fuck you,” you declared as if you were challenging him.

The hesitation evanesced as quickly as it came, and Minho returned to his insufferably smug self in a matter of seconds.

“Then give me something to work with, baby.”

“You want magazines or something?”

“No, I want you.”

You burst out laughing, more hysterically than out of amusement. This guy could insist.

“You can’t touch me just yet.”

“I know,” he acknowledged, “but whatever you want me to remove, you’ll also take it off.”

Your eyes briefly traveled on his face, trying to figure out what kind of a game he was after. If it was Lee Minho, shortcuts were out of the question unless he was the one taking them.

Well… Whatever.

“Fine,” you accepted his proposal, and the battle began in earnest. 

You took off your shoes, and so did he. You took off your watch, and so did he. You took off your top, and so did he.

And you were now 1-0 ahead because you had a bra on whereas his fucking sculpted-in-the-Renaissance of a torso was all bare, ready to be eyefucked by you.

“You should go on one of those sexiest men alive lists. It’s annoying how hot you are,” you went on aggressive offense, “It’s like somebody photoshopped you.”

Minho didn’t say anything and just grinned at you. You grinned back while unbuttoning your jeans. He got rid of his pants with you. 

When you discarded your underwear, however, all his arrogance was erased from his face. He was staring at your pussy like a virgin seeing a naked girl for the first time.

“Do you like it?”

“I knew it was pretty, but I didn’t know how much,” he thickly swallowed.

You opened your legs wider apart, putting your slick folds on perfect display for him. Minho had no control over how he was reacting to you, audibly grunting at the delicious sight.

“See how wet?” you spread your labia to give him a better view, “It’s because of you.”

“I get that a lot,” he flashed a shit-eating grin, then channeled all his attention to your core again, “I think my tongue and your cunt might be a perfect match made in hell.”

“Your underwear,” you urged him to follow through, “Take it off.”

You had witnessed Minho sporting a hard on in front of your camera like it was part of his styling several times before, but seeing in the flesh?

Fucking priceless.

“Spread your thighs for me,” you demanded, naïvely thinking he would oblige without a hiccup.

“I will if you come closer.”

“I will if you lay down on the floor.” 

It was a battle, and Minho knew he had a lot more to lose compared to you. Even though he was being a pain in the ass, he had no choice but to do as asked, but you were at least playing fair. Once he held up his end of the bargain, you set up your camera to take shots every eight seconds, then walked to him.

“You’re not close enough,” he complained like a kid being denied a shiny toy, “I want to feel your warmth next to me.”

“Then no peeking. Close your eyes,” you took off your bra and threw it on his face, crawling closer to him like a preying tigress right after, “I’m right beside you. Now touch yourself.” 

Minho wrapped his fingers around his delicious girth, languidly stroking himself to full hardness with no rush whatsoever like he was in his bed on a lazy Sunday morning.

“Bring your pussy close to my face,” he quietly pleaded, “I swear I’m not gonna do anything. I just wanna feel it close.”

You didn’t think much honestly. Within two seconds, you were straddling his face, your thighs on either side of him, and if your reflexes hadn’t kicked in, Minho’s sudden attempt to steal a lick was indeed going to be successful.

“Shh, behave,” you rebuked him and squeezed his face between your fingers, “You swore.”

Eyes still closed, he bit into his mischievous smile, having infinite amounts of fun. So what if he did? Were you that gullible to believe everybody that pinky promised you? 

“Come on, at least make it drip on my face.”

“Less talking, more jerking.”

You urged him, but unbeknownst to Minho you were doing the same thing. You licked your fingers and started rubbing your pussy on his face, close enough to make him go insane because of the wet sounds, but far enough that he couldn’t try anything again. All you could think about was how it would be the hottest fucking thing in the world if you squirted all over his gorgeous features right about now.

“I can hear how wet you are. I can smell it,” he hissed out of sheer lust, “You want me, too. You want me bad.”

“Yes, I do. Who wouldn’t want you?” you responded shamelessly, “Look at you, a fucking sex god in the flesh.”

Minho moaned so loudly hearing your words that you knew you got him where you wanted him. Right in the palm of your hand, literally and figuratively.

“Say it again,” he begged, “Again.”

You had never seen him this fucking desperate before, and it was more satisfying than the best porn out there. You lowered your body and breathily spoke into his ear.

“You’re a sex god, Minho.”

“Then worship me.” 

You lay down beside him and started running your hand all over his torso, his firm skin under your fingertips forcing more slick to ooze out of you.

“Your body is fucking unreal,” you uttered almost like a moan, “You make me wanna do really nasty things to you.”

“Who’s holding you back?” he squeezed his cock tighter, and drops of precum began pooling around his slit, “I’m available for your personal use anytime you want.”

“I can start by sitting on your pretty face maybe. Ease you into it,” you placed a ghost kiss on his forehead.

“If you let me creampie you first, it’ll be a treat to watch me get messy on your cunt later on.”

His words literally took your breath away, and Minho was simply in love with how much power he had over you without doing anything. This was the moment to land the killshot.

“I wanna have the nastiest fucking sex of my life with you. Sweat, spit, cum everywhere,” he rubbed his flushed cock faster, “Say yes. Say yes and I’ll blow your fucking mind.”

You could watch Minho jerk off to you for hours if he could last, but you had negative willpower left to resist the raging urge to fuck him like your life depended on it. You wanted him like you’d never wanted anything else in your life. 

And he knew.

You pressed your lips on the corner of his mouth for a long while, then whispered the answer he was dying to hear.

“Yes.”

He suddenly snapped his eyes open and immediately grabbed your waist, pulling you close to make you straddle him.

“Sit on it, gorgeous. Take all of it.”

It didn’t matter how wet you were. Minho’s girth was so thick that you were struggling to even push the tip in, and all his self-control was working at full capacity not to cum to this right then and there. 

“Shh, you can take it, baby. I know you can,” he soothed you, “I’ll mold your pussy for myself just right.”

He finally broke through. You were so tight around him that he had to move extra slow inside you until he bottomed out, otherwise he really was going to explode. All of you right in front of him to feel, and he didn’t know where to grope you first. His hands eventually landed on your ass and gave your cheeks a firm squeeze.

“Bad move to play mind games with me,” he maniacally smiled, “I’m so fucking obsessed with you, now we’re gonna have to fuck every time we see each other. I don’t give a shit if we’re in public or not.”

When that first thrust hit, you sharply inhaled and closed your eyes. It felt too full inside you.

“See what you’ve been missing out on?” he derided, arrogance dripping from every single one of his words, “I want all your holes, one for each meal of the day. I’ll be damned if I ever skip breakfast again.”

“You’re gonna give me yours in return I presume?” you pressed your hands on his chest.

“Anything you want is yours. Just fuck me.”

You obscenely licked all over your palm and cupped his balls behind you. They were so tightened already, and the frenzied moans Minho let out when you caressed him were just everything you could ask for.

“So full, you’re dying to unload inside me, aren’t you?” you jeered contently, “Go on, cream my pussy so I can finally have you make out with it.”

“With absolute pleasure,” he held onto your waist tighter, “Not gonna lie, eating my cum out of your cunt has been the number two fantasy of mine for the longest time.”

“What’s the number one?”

You lost your balance when he abruptly pulled your body down. His face was right in front of yours, begging to be revered with as many kisses as you could offer him.

“To eat it out of your ass,” he sighed right before crashlanding on your lips.

Minho’s appetite knew no bounds. If he kissed you long enough, you could cum to that alone. His thrusts went berserk as he ran his hands all over your back, his mouth refusing to detach from yours, and you eventually felt something erupt inside you. Warm. Pleasantly sticky. Filling you up to the brim.

He didn’t even wait to gather his wits. You found yourself on your back with one hasty turn, and before you could register what was happening, you saw Minho between your legs.

“Forcefeed me,” he squeezed your thighs so hard there would surely be Minho-shaped bruises on your skin the next day, “Keep my face down. Don’t let me breathe.”

“Eat till you’re full,” you pressed his face closer, “Like a hardcore fucking simp would.”

He immediately started ravaging your pussy as instructed. The feeling was so intense that you were about to lose your mind, and it was worse because you could hear the shutter sounds recording the way you were absolutely disheveling the Lee Minho’s million-dollar face, his entire mouth and chin soaked with your slick.

If these frames ever went public, his crazed fans would actually kill you, and it was the weirdest fucking turn on you were experiencing.

“Did you know I have a picture of you on my sun visor next to a vibrator?” you confessed while riding his face, “You’re so fucking pretty I can’t stop masturbating to you even in the middle of traffic.”

You were absolutely murdering him with your words. His moans in your pussy were pathetically loud as if he was the one getting his dick sucked. This was like all of Minho’s most violent wet dreams come true, and he didn’t give a shit if he overdosed on desire tonight. He would die like a fucking rockstar.

“Like that. Fuck, just like that! Spit on it,” you gritted your teeth, “God, nobody does it like you.”

It was as though you wanted him to wreck you. Every word you uttered that even remotely resembled praise was bringing out the absolute worst in Minho. He was eating your pussy like an out-of-control animal in heat, growling into you and smacking his lips to make the wettest fucking sounds ever. 

You weren’t wet—you were fucking flooding his face, so much so that it should have been considered waterboarding. He wasn’t moaning—he was grunting into you as if he was mad, like a full on rampage. You had never had your pussy ravished like this before. Your legs were uncontrollably shaking. You were practically screaming, but you’d run out of fucks to give as to who heard it. You had Lee fucking Minho eating your soul out of you like a goddamn dementor—you wanted them to hear it and die a painful death because of jealousy for all you cared.

When you started clenching too much, Minho got alerted to how close you were, which prompted him to immediately stop and ram his fully hard cock into you. You forgot everything you had in your vocabulary. All you could moan was his name over and over and over again, and it was the perfect opportunity for Minho to take advantage of.

“Who gets this pussy dripping wet?”

“Minho…”

“Who gets to eat your creampied cunt?”

“Ah, Minho…”

“Who’s fucking you this good, baby?”

“Minho…”

“Who’s the only god you worship?”

“Minho. Minho. MINHO!!!”

Who the fuck would be able to resist cumming when you were screaming your lungs out in hellfire level pleasure anyway? Sure as fuck not Minho. Your own orgasm hit you so hard that dragged-out moans kept spilling from your lips. He slowed his pace down thinking he was making you uncomfortable, however…

“NO!” you grabbed his waist in panic, “Keep… Just keep… don’t stop y—”

“Are you still cumming?”

You fervently nodded while making stupidly incoherent sounds. Your entire body was shaking like you were having a seizure, and needless to say, Minho lived for that shit.

“Fucked so good, can’t let go just yet,” he let out a teasing laugh and held you in his arms, “Shh, shh, shh I got you. Hold on to me.” 

He fucked you through your orgasm with his lips on yours, but it felt unnecessarily intimate. When you were finally done, you could feel your heart beating in your pussy, and the soreness in your legs became way too perceptible all of a sudden.

“I think we make a fantastic pair,” Minho brushed the damp strings of hair away from your face, “I want a copy of that entire memory card.”

“Not this time, pretty,” you softly bit into his lips and diabolically smiled, “You either see this pussy in the flesh, or you don’t see it at all.”

「© 2023, exxxtraoddinary · No translations, rewrites, or reposts permitted」

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I have left this world goodbye

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