sleepisaturn

saturn in orbit ଓ

I was fixed on your hand of gold

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Right Where You Left Me

right where you left me

PAIRING—steve rogers x avenger!fem!reader

SUMMARY—Steve finally askes you out for a dinner date but as you sat patiently at the restaurant, where was Steve?

WARNINGS—angst, steve being a jerk, no happy ending, kinda more focused on reader

A/N—idk if this is considered a song fic but some of the lyrics of Taylor's song is written in-between paragraphs so...

part 2 still a wip!

Matches burn after the other

Pages turn and stick to each other

Wages earned and lessons learned

But I, I'm right where you left me

The warm lights of the restaurant were supposed to make you feel cozy but contrary to what you were feeling, you felt anxious, nervous and everything all at once. It's been more than thirty minutes and Steve was still nowhere to be found. The agreed time was 7 pm and it's already close to 7:40. The slow pouring rain made your situation much more gloomy.

The anxiousness became worse as more minutes passed, Steve wasn't answering any of your texts or any of your calls. Your breathing got heavy as you clasped your hands together trying to keep your cool, deep down you were feeling scared that something bad happened to Steve. You didn't think much about what people might think of you at the moment, a beautiful woman who's sitting miserably at a cozy restaurant; alone. All you could think about is—where's Steve?

Help, I'm still at the restaurant

Still sitting in a corner I haunt

Cross-legged in the dim light

They say, "What a sad sight"

It was supposed to be a fantastic night for you because finally your long time crush Steve Rogers, Captain America finally asked you out on a date though from everyone's perspective you were totally in love with the man. You wouldn't deny that, you fought with him, bled for him and almost sacrificed everything you had for him. It was obvious but maybe not to him. You are undeniably, truly, completely and unconditionally in love with him.

You're a beautiful woman, that's what you believed but it did catch you off-guard that Steve suddenly asked you out on a date. Who wouldn't? But you've been his friend for years and you believed for the longest time Steve was always gonna love one woman and that being the one and only Peggy Carter or maybe his actual ex-girlfriend who he broke up with almost a year ago, his first love's niece, the impressive and beautiful agent Sharon Carter.

You felt pure euphoric happiness and countless butterflies danced in your stomach, it felt like a million fireworks erupted in your heart when Steve decided to ask you out. You remembered every part of that day, that night—that second that he dropped the ball and asked you the million dollar question like it was yesterday, well it was actually yesterday.

[ flashback ]

" report's suck don't they? "

" and here I thought being Captain America would excuse me from the paperwork " Steve chuckled as you sat beside him with your own reports.

" oh please your hobby is reading reports "

" I never said I liked writing them "

" well I guess were the only responsible ones here seeing as you have Natasha's pile and I have Tony's "

" more time to spend with me " Steve smirked as you breath a nervous laugh as his words caught you off-guard

" my, my Captain America being cocky? "

" don't deny it, you love my company sweetheart " Steve responds as he confidently holds your chin between his pointer finger and thumb, tilting it slightly as he makes you look at his breathtaking blue eyes. Your breath hitched momentarily.

You scoffed, turning away from him not believing Steve was actually being flirty with you.

" oh yes because everybody's dying for your presence, Oh? Mr. Rogers, would you please sign my chest? " You asked while doing a slightly higher pitched voice, you didn't want to make Steve think he can just play with you. You played along with his flirty antics as you suddenly opened your jacket making Steve choke on air which was your plan. You weren't wearing a revealing top but the action definitely caught Steve off-guard.

You laughed like an old man, having difficulty breathing as you laughed at the expression Steve did after your little stunt, his red face made you laugh uncontrollably and made you a coughing mess.

" you're not gonna win whatever game you're playing Rogers " You said as you went back to your reports, calming yourself from the laughing while Steve coughed to catch your attention once more.

" What if I wasn't playing a game? "

" Then what's with the random flirting Captain? planning on trying those moves on someone? "

" yes actually, you " He replies with no hesitation, you would've laughed if it wasn't for the serious expression he wore.

" —would you give me the honor of taking you out on a dinner date? " Steve continued as you fell silent, internally you were screaming and your heart immediately beat faster than normal as his words found your ears.

" Yes ... YES! of course " You reply with a smile, and seeing the wide grin on his face made you blush madly.

I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop

Right when I felt the moment stop

Glass shattered on the white cloth

Everybody moved on

I, I stayed there

Dust collected on my pinned-up hair

You catch yourself smiling as you remember the events of yesterday's evening. You reminisced the comfortable silence that happened after, wide grins as the two of you did reports you didn't want to but the worst news came as you opened your phone that had a notification from Natasha. You smiled momentarily as you saw her name flash on the lock screen but your face fell immediately as you read the words she sent.

she's back

Those words made your legs feel weak as more anxiety filled your mind and your heart felt like it was slowly being chipped away by the tools used in carving stones.

please tell me it's not who I think it is

yup, Sharon's back and she went to Steve like she did nothing!

is Steve with her?

You hesitantly typed, scared of what the answer to the questions that naturally floated in your head might be. Different thoughts came to mind but you didn't want to judge Steve, he would never ditch you for his ex, not without informing you first in case he did. Wouldn't he?

Yeah ... He's with her, I'm sorry

Natasha answered, making you shut your eyes hoping everything was a dream and that the special blue dress you wore wasn't for nothing. Your eyes felt teary just as a waiter went to you asking if you needed assistance in which you replied with one bottle of wine, please. You hoped that maybe Steve would come to you after he talked to Sharon, that is if that's the only thing he was doing with her. That tiny hope ran out as you've realized you've been sitting at the cozy, warm restaurant alone and pathetically for three hours straight, you've finished the red wine long ago. Now, you just sat quietly and glanced outside where the rain stopped and the streets shined as the countless puddles reflected the street lights and shop signs.

You stayed there until the staff had to ask you to leave unless you actually ordered a meal but you didn't have the stomach to eat anything as you were just ditched by Steve, Steve the golden boy just ditched you for his bitch of an ex-girlfriend without even telling anything.

Right where you left me

You left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

You left me, you left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

You hailed a cab quickly after exiting the restaurant, you couldn't just walk in your state. You weren't drunk but you were probably tipsy enough to trip over nothing. The elderly cab driver dropped you off in front of the tower. You held your heels in one hand and your coat hanging loosely on your shoulders. The guard immediately let you in as he recognized you. You were sadly met by nobody inside the compound as you entered, not Steve—nobody. You knew Natasha went out for her nightly jog while the others you thought were just busy doing their own stuff.

You contemplated whether or not you'll confront Steve tonight. A couple minutes passed as you sat on the couch of the living area of the tower, your thoughts consuming you as you sat silently.

With a huff of a breath you stood up, shrugging your coat as you walked barefoot on the cold floor of the tower. You pressed the fifth floor where Steve's room is located, the ding of the elevator distracted you from your thoughts.

At the restaurant, when I was still the one you want

Cross-legged in the dim light, everything was just right

I, I could feel the mascara run

You told me that you met someone

The sound of your heart shattering was all you could hear as you watched the view In front of you—Steve and Sharon fricking Carter making out. Steve was kissing Sharon Infront of his door as she was about to leave when he heard the elevator open and there you stand, looking gorgeous in a silk blue dress. You stood pathetically in a blue dress that you wore for what would've been your date with Steve but instead you see him kissing another woman.

You momentarily spaced out, you didn't know what happened after but suddenly Steve was Infront of you and Sharon was nowhere to be found.

" Y/N! " Your eyes snap to Steve as they were previously gazing on the floor.

" So yesterday was really just a game huh? " You asked with a laugh even as your heart broke more that it already was, even if you knew that it was Sharon who owned his heart. You confidently looked at him straight in the eyes with your teary ones.

" Y/N I—Sharon was just here and she wanted to get back together and to be honest I still kinda have feelings for ... her " Steve tried to explain, failing as he saw the disappointment on your face, he knew it was an asshole move to ditch you but Sharon just knew how to keep him from leaving, to pull him back into their own little world.

He did genuinely like you, he did but Sharon made him think that she's the one, the only woman who'll truly make him happy and he stupidly believed that. His mind desperately believed Sharon and him were meant to be, that the break up was just a test on their relationship even as his heart silently shouted your name. He just didn't see how perfect you were for him.

" of course, it's always going to be her, she's perfect—she's a Carter after all " You brokenly said, sadness and jealousy evident in your voice. A bitter tone encasing your words as you felt rage.

" I liked you , I really do, you're a beautiful woman but Sharon is just ... and you’ll find someone better than me " Steve said while trying to hold your hand but you turned away completely giving him a cold shoulder.

" I understand perfectly Steve, you owe me no loyalty and that's okay—I guess I just expected more from you " your voice low as all your disappointment and heartbreak was put into words.

" No, i-its, I know that was not respectful of me to just leave you hanging and ditching our date but Sharon was just suddenly here and then she just kissed me and I—I caved, look I know this looks bad but— "

" Again, it's my mistake to have high expectations and if you'll excuse me I had a whole bottle of wine so I feel a bit sleepy, goodnight Steven " You replied as you quickly turned away from him and wiped the tears that threatened to fall.

“ Y/N … shit “ you heard Steve mutter as you entered the elevator but you ignored his words as you felt so close to breaking down, maybe you fell for him more than you realized as you felt like your heart was shattered to a thousand pieces.

I'm right where you left me

You left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

You quickly walked out on Steve, the elevator ride felt like forever and as you unlocked your room you immediately dropped down on the floor. A deep sigh came out of your lips as you rested your head on the large metal door of your room, tears immediately escaping your eyes.

" how could I be so stupid!? God! , you just had to fall in love with someone like him huh? yes, how could little ol' me be ever good enough for the great Captain America, Sharon’s just perfect so—perfect and she’s beautiful ... she's gorgeous "

" How could Steve not love her? "

You talked to yourself hoping Steve wouldn't hear it with his super hearing ability. You sat and stared at the ceiling questioning how stupid it was to actually think Steve was a perfect guy, well not perfect but you at least expected that he wasn't a jerk like the other guy's you've dated.

You didn't know how long you stayed on the floor crying as you felt intense heartbreak, ironic that he wasn't even yours to lose, but you stayed there crying your heart out—probably longer than the time you spent waiting at the restaurant.

Right Where You Left Me

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