A Few Weeks Ago My Mom Told Me That She Decided To Analyze The Problems In Our Relations. She Googled

A few weeks ago my mom told me that she decided to analyze the problems in our relations. She googled every my trait that she saw as wrong and googled what I was insisting on being reevaluated. She came to the conclusion that it was something called hyperprotection. So, the following dialogue happened:

Mom: you sit down here and right now you search what should be done with it

me: sorry, i have some tasks to finish right now, could you please read that by yourself?

mom: what? no, i mean you should search for the ways for YOU to deal with it

me: ...

me: you know that search results will only show the advice for parents, because children can do nothing with that, right?

mom: surely not. it's a children's fault that parents overprotecting them.

So after literally an hour and a half and none of the advice for children found she got angry and told me that i had done something with the search engine and that i had to recheck my behaviour. I asked her to think about what we just read. Guess if she had changed anything. Nope

In my flat, there is a specific place, where you can catch other people's phone calls. Usually, it just a white noise or some barely audible words, but in some cases, you can hear the conversation vividly. I was talking with my cousin, when I heard a woman arguing about something. I asked cousin to stay on the phone for a while and put my call on hold. I could hear every word. I tried to tell them I could hear their conversation, but they could not hear me. Later I asked my cousin if she heard something, and she didn't

I have read some of the posts, like southern gothic, 911 gothic, colledge gothic and so on. Basically a bunch of short and uncanny ideas or situations on certain topic. So I wanted to create something like that about the flat. Because apartment buildings that are twice your age can be as scary as old mansions. I mean, consider the idea that ghosts stick to places where they used to live. How many people could have died in the mansion over, say, five decades? No more than five, probably. Now consider the same number for the building where roughly fifteen families per entrance live. Anyway, there is my list (i honestly do not know how to name it). Some of the situations may or may not have actually happened

-- You come into an empty room you just left to get the snacks. Were not the curtain shut and the wardrobe door closed when you left the room? -- You hear your neighbors downstairs arguing again. Your flat is on the ground floor. -- You did not left the lights on, did you? -- Your cat has been staring at the wall for at least 5 minutes. After you say that you have to concentrate to study, and ask whoever is that to leave. Your cat turns the head and watches as if something was leaving the room. You still don’t see anything. -- You hear someone from the opposite house practicing the guitar and you can actually see them through the window. They look so passionate about that, you decide to try and practice along with them. You go to that flat. It has a police department notice on the door dated two years before. Neighbors tell you there was a major fire, someone died that night and nobody bought or rented the flat since then. -- There is less tea in your cup than you recall since your previous sip Somebody knocks on your door. You stay silent. They are ringing the bell. You quietly sneak to see who is there. Hallway is empty -- The children are screaming too loud. You can’t recall when they had not screamed. Not even second of silence in last fifteen years. -- Your parents tell you woke them up at 3 AM, screaming “they are so close, they are here, HELP”. You try to convince yourself it was a bad dream, which triggered you. You vividly remember that calm dream you had once in a whole year of nightmares. In the morning, you see bloody fingerprints and smears on the bookshelf next to your bed. Those are your fingerprints, but you don’t have any wounds -- You walk past your front door. You check whether it is locked. You lock it. You walk past your front door. You check whether it is locked. You lock it. You walk past your front door. You check whether it is locked. You do not want to think. You just keep locking it. -- Do not mind the shadows behind your shoulder. You will get used to their breath and the feeling of being stared at. They are just curious. You hope so -- Your sibling is chilling with you in the room. They go to the kitchen. They never return. The being next to you is not your sibling anymore -- You wake up to the birds chripping, the swallows. They are deafening. It is the middle of the night. And dead silence to your parents. -- Mirrors are everywhere. In the hall, in the bathroom, inside of the cupboard, in the polished furniture, kitchen tiles. Your reflection is haunting you. It does not feel normal. -- Why do your pills taste like blood? Why does the scent of blood fill your room? Why are there flashes of bloody red on your peripheral vision? Nobody else notices. Outside the flat you have never experienced anything like this -- It is normal for kids to have invisible friends, right? Your parents told you that you had one too. They have a notebook with your description. “They can’t leave this room. They want to go to the kitchen, but they can’t. So I want to keep them company”. You remember the feeling of utter horror because of someone’s presence there when you had to go there -- I did take my pill, why is it still in the blister? What had I taken than? -- Every autumn, at the exact same date, you would come home from school and see a coffin in the hallway, right across your flat. Every single year dies at the same date. You wonder when your turn is

I don't honestly think this is normal, as well as my reaction on this, but i found the situation hoplessly hilarious

i was made to apologize for so many things, even for the most basic ones. I first found myself grinning when i was asked to apologise for eating too much, the day after i apologised for not eating and causing money to be hypothetically spent on medications. last week i was made to apologize for (drum rolls) breathing. i almost burst into laughter, the only thing that kept me from doing this was threat of being choken straight after. two days ago i was blamed in everything again, including my presence in a flat being unbearable, so i apologized for my existense and was called the dumb ungrateful piece of sh*t.

I have the urge to share this experience with somebody, so here it goes.

When I was about five or six, I had a couple of friends who I trusted and knew well. We were going out and playing together, and everything was fun. However, that summer none of them were in the town, so I was bored. And there was a gang of fifteen or so kids in the neighbourhood. The need to socialize and boredom led me to joining the gang. It was fun in the beginning, I became friends with a girl there.

One day, we were playing dodgeball. I got hit, so I was sitting on the bench and talking to that girl. Just finished eating an apple and threw away the apple core. And it accidentally hit the “leader”. All chit-chat and laughter abruptly stopped. Dead silence. I apologised, stating that it was an accident. He said that words are not enough and I should be punished. One or two people tried to say that it was too much, but were told to shut up.

Have you ever experienced the feeling of being hunted? Awful experience. I was fighting (as much as the five-year-old girl can), and scratching and biting, but they were two boys against me. The rest of the gang just stood still and watched in silence. I tried to run. Not so far though. They caught me. I hit the one who was holding me with my head in the nose. The “leader” smirked and tried to hit me with his fist in the face. I dodged. He hit the one who was holding me. He tried again, but missed. The gang was still silently watching. Eventually, I had to let him hit me. They both walked away, proud of themselves. The girl I was talking to argued with them, stating that it was cruel and unfair, with some of kids nodding in agreement. But most just STAYED SILENT. After the boy left I asked the gang: “Was that really fair? Those of you, who actually think that was fair, tell me now”. They stayed silent again, averting eyes.

This is what terrifying me. Why were they just doing nothing, even though they saw injustice? Why they stayed in silent? Why couldn’t they do anything against their so-called leader? And, I thought back then, oh god, I will have to live in society like that? Who can do nothing against the authority, even if its deeds are wrong. Who will just stay silent, like the flock of speechless, thoughtless sheep, watching their own kind being murdered and meekly waiting the same happening to them?

Both then and now I feel so furious, I can’t even verbally explain the scale

Sorry, took me longer than expected. Thanks if you actually managed to read this

I was talking to my friend, as usual, nothing special, just chatting and chilling. I was a bit moody that day, no serious reason. She noticed that and asked me : "What happened to you? Is something wrong?" Somehow, I interpreted that as if something was wrong with me, because of some changes. Irrationally, I felt fear, and had a glimpse of thought "How?" which than modified to "How did she noticed?" I asked her, and she said I had kinda irritated facial expression when she noticed me.

What was all that fear and even panic about? Because I knew what she was asking about, yet still