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𝐿𝒶𝓉𝑒 𝒩𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒮𝓂𝒶𝒸𝓀

Theo: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Theo: And I started thinking.

Theo: Like it was just trying to get food.

Theo: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck.

Theo: How would I feel.

Draco: Are you ok?

*bouns*

y/n: He's fine, he's just high as fuck.

Matteo:

Matteo: (places hand on chest) Without me?

Guys I swear I could fix him.

(He’s a traumatised, committed numerous atrocities and I’m not his type)

They need to stop making the villains so fine

“I wish I knew how to quit you.”

me to dark, psychotic men

I love how we girlies will see a psychopath and be like 'Hes so babygorl(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤'

THATS A MURDERER

Reader: breaks up with any of my fictional crushes

Me: u dumb bitch😡 how could you do this to me???

When he’s written by Lana del Rey

sorry, did you say,

“toxic, dangerous, sexy af and could probably kill me at any given moment if they wanted”?

…

me after saying i’d get tasks done but i’ve just been reading fanfiction for the past 3 hours:

always stay demure. be mindful of why you were invited to tumblr. that does not include reading smut at 8:30 am. 

“i can fix him”

ok welcome to the construction crew

18+ mdni

Me: “fuck, I need his cock”

Him: *is literally just words on tumblr*

I can’t fix him but I could fuck him.

Slytherins are written to be the opposite of what jkr considers “good” and “appropriate”.

You know what that means?

happy pride

my ass could not be trusted with Tom Riddle’s diary

Unless you live somewhere in Arizona, California, or New Mexico, we can’t escape the heat until late October/November

from The New York Times

Harry Potter in a nutshell

My life in a nutshell 🤭

Minecraft, DDLC, Yandere Sim, FNAF, and Animal Jam 🫡