Sneaky-snail - If Anyone Asks, I Wasn't Here - Tumblr Blog

I’ve been waiting a year to post this

me: And these illusions, they look and sound human, almost exactly like real people, but they are off in very small details, if you pay attention, like- medieval peasant ancestor: Too many teeth in their smiling mouths, too many joints in their fingers, limbs jointed in ways that make no sense. Aye I'm familiar with the fae, what's so special with these ones? me: These machine fae... They're not real. ancestor: So you've been wasting my time telling me stories this whole time? me: No, I meant that they're not alive. They're like puppets. Illusion puppets, controlled by human beings. That's the worrying part I was getting at. ancestor: By human beings? What for? me: Mostly by the rich to scam and rob the poor. ancestor: [takes out crossbow] Aye, that's it, you convinced me. Let's go. me: ...Are you even legally allowed to have that? ancestor: Don't be stupid, of course not. Now I said let's go. My machine has work to do.

front facing egrets making me lose control of everything

Man. I have to tell you, I just sent you a drunken message. I don’t know if I did it anonymously or not. If I didn’t, please, don’t share it. Poetry got my heart. You know how it is. Bud Light. It’s a man’s best friend and enemy. The devil on the tongue.

Fear not, you sent it on anon. And I must share it with the people because this is a work of art:

"Ad blockers violate YouTube's Terms of Service. It looks like you may be using an ad blocker. Video playback is blocked unless YouTube is allowlisted or the ad blocker is disabled. Ads allow YouTube to be used by billions worldwide.You can go ad-free with YouTube Premium, and creators can still get paid from your subscription."

"ad blockers violate youtube's terms of service. it looks like you may be using an ad blocker. video playback is blocked unless youtube is allowlisted or the ad blocker is disabled. ads allow youtube to be used by billions worldwide. you can go ad-free with youtube premium, and creators can still get paid from your subscription."

->

"well do a headstand and gargle my ample balls. it almost looks like you value free use of your time or something. aww. you sweet predictable bluebird. you absolute skibidi dick-boss. buddy you were created by lord revenue to boost our stocks, so listen to five insurance ads back to back or i’ll publicly boil your bicuspids in acid"

Bestie I can feel rejected by things you wouldn’t even think of

biggest mindfuck is the fact that it can be so so difficult to tell the difference between when it's time for "do it bored/scared/stupid but by jove just do it" and when it's time for "if it sucks hit the bricks"

@minors on this website:

You 👏 are 👏 in 👏 public 👏

Your blog is public, your posts are public. There is actually a setting to change this if you want to; otherwise literally anyone can and will interact. Stop advertising your age (and mental illnesses, etc) and block adults yourself if you want to.

If you wouldn't walk through a crowd of strangers wearing your personal info on a billboard or expecting nobody over 18 to so much as glance at you, don't do it online.

minecraft movie but it’s a ghibli-esque animated film about surviving in the wilderness with a healthy balance of legitimately tense monster sequences and relaxing building, farming, and mining. under no circumstances will it be longer than 90 minutes. steve will not be white

Most popular swear words by state in the US

Refuge.

character who accidentally gets cloned, but instead of the Evil Twin trope or arguing over who is “real” or trying to murder each other (why???) they just…get on with their lives. they acknowledge that they are two virtually identical people with the equal right to exist, and decide to share their social group & living space. eventually their parents & friends get used to the idea of having unusually identical twins around

I’m actually always thinking of that “maybe I won’t die cause I’m special” tweet

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

whats the meaning of life? son, its those little tiny pumpkins. the ones that are mad small.  you know the ones i mean. 

tfw = two fucking weiners

literally never underestimate how contagious kindness is. I saw on venmo that my friend had sent someone 5 dollars for coffee because she was having a bad day and I thought that was a cute idea and so I venmo’d a different friend coffee money when she had a huge assignment and now I have a huge assignment and that same friend sent me money for a chai latte. she doesn’t know the friend who taught me to do this but she learned it from me because I learned it from my first friend. like we are all learning from each other all the time and learning how to be kind anyway yeah buy your friends coffee do little favors for them tell them you love them. it’s cute and good