Sirius, Thinking Of Remus: It's Not Gay To Have Like...fantasies About Another Dude, Right?

Sirius, thinking of Remus: It's not gay to have like...fantasies about another dude, right?

Remus, thinking of Sirius: Erm...no. Definitely not. As long as you don't... act on it.

James, thinking of Regulus: Yeah, no, it's.... completely straight.

Peter:

Peter: No, that's really fucking gay.

You can't accuse Victor Hugo of burying his gays. He treats everyone equally.

He just decided to bury them all.

🙂👍 hope that helps

I just finished reading “Cosette” The Sequel to Les Miserables” by Laura Kalpakian. For those who do not know, this book is basically a 650-page (kinda shitty) fanfic that somehow was published as a real, purchasable book sometime in the 1990′s. Here are some of my favorite moments:

A quote from Javert: “Republican scum like you can’t overthrow the king of France. One day more and you’ll piss blood. I’ll meet you in hell.”

A quote from Valjean: “She is seventeen, too young to be in love. She is a child. This Marius, he is nothing to her. She wanted a puppy once and I said no and she got over it.”

Enjolras scrambles to the top of the barricade and just….screams SHIT!

For some reason in the whole barricade part in the beginning Combeferre is the ami that gets the most attention

The only amis that are mentioned are: Combeferre, Enjolras, Feuilly, and Courfeyrac. The only ami that gets mentioned beyond the 1832 barricade section is Feuilly because of the whole “vivent les peuples!” thing written on the wall of the Musain. Which, btw, the author always writes as “vive les peuples!”

Actually the author made up some OCs in the barricade section so there could be some barricade survivors for Marius and Cosette to interact with later in the book

“You will hang by your cock in hell.”

For some reason whenever Jean Valjean is mentioned in the first portion of the book, he is described as having large, powerful hands

Cosette had no sex education and so on her wedding night she asked Marius to teach her. And he just gestures to her boobs and says “this is a nipple.” It is the only thing he vocally says to her and then he is kissing her boobs and they go at it. I kid you not this is the big amazing wedding sex scene and the most notable line is “this is a nipple”

Remember the whole absolutely no sex education thing? Well they somehow have amazing sex all night long regardless

Azelma is the main antagonist in the book. Also she is ALWAYS referred to as Zelma. I don’t know where the A went. It’s gone forever I guess.

A quote from Thenardier: “I am one of those holy men. I can walk in shit, sit in shit, sleep in shit, eat shit, drink shit, and still my turds come out in perfect golden bricks.”

Marius regularly goes to prison like it’s a casual thing that happens often which is an inconvenience but you know what are ya gonna do

Marius and Cosette raise the biggest asshole of a son there is literally nothing redeeming about him

Azelma ‘Zelma’ Thenardier literally fucked Louis-Napoleon and had a child with him.

She named the child Eponine.

Azelma feels like she needs to take revenge against Cosette for the whole Marius thing and she basically uses her daughter Eponine II to fulfill that, as if ensuring Eponine II is successful will make ghost Eponine happy

Speaking of Eponine II there is an entire subplot where Azelma manages to force the son of Cosette and Marius to marry Eponine II……because she felt that her sister Eponine should have married Marius……..so like, by marrying her daughter Eponine to a Pontmercy she’s fulfilling some kind of lost destiny shit. And also taking revenge against Cosette. Azelma is really freaky in this okay

Cosette disguises herself as an old beggar due to a mixture of political and economic reasons and calls herself “the plumed lark” when she is in her disguise. Weirdest superhero ever amiright

Marius sneaks out of prison dressed up as the plumed lark

THERE IS A SEX SCENE THAT TAKES PLACE WITH ONE PERSON HIDDEN UNDERNEATH A HOOP SKIRT

i am not fucking with you. “this is a nipple” is probably the most iconic part of the book

nothing has been more important to my being queer than when i went to my first pride parade, got seperated from my group, had a panic attack about it and was sitting on the side of the road holding a tiny genderfluid flag and freaking out. then this six foot five drag queen in four inch heels appeared from literally nowhere and sat down next to me. i, this scared-shitless trans bi kid at pride for the first time, very nervously told her she looked pretty and i told her my name and that i got lost and didn't feel like i should be at pride and she held my hand and said "oh, honey, everybody deserves to be here, especially you. pride is for everybody who's ever gotten lost, who's been scared of who they are or where they are. you think we never been scared before? pride's for you, honey, because you're scared. you don't have to be proud right now, but you're gonna be one day, honey, i'm sure of it."

i found my group soon after that and i never saw that queen again but to this day i am convinced i met an angel.

so yeah. pride is for you. pride is for all of us.

Spiders are so cool! My dad found as spider as he was cleaning our windows. We have a designated spider cup with a lid and have spent the last 20 minutes trying to identify it. We’ve narrowed it down to two so far!

Update: we now have two spiders in two separate cups