... But Would You WRITE An Entire Series About Chihiro's Classmates Being Confused (a Series Is A Lot

... but would you WRITE an entire series about Chihiro's classmates being confused (a series is a Lot of writing but outsider pov is my jam and also your writing so if you ever did anything with that concept I would cry probably)

Some headcanons because I don’t really have the TIME to write an entire series but I DO have the time to rhapsodize about my Love for this concept.

So the new girl’s name is Chihiro and she’s weird and charming and friendly and fearless.  She always wears a lucky purple hairtie and she stops to bow to every shrine she comes across and she takes her time writing her name, every kanji clear and precise and unmistakable.  She goes from new to popular in about a week and her teachers tell her parents that their daughter has a natural gift for making friends, open and cheerful with anyone who’s civil to her.  She doesn’t have answers for anyone about those two months that her family was just kind of missing, but other than that she’s an open book.

Chihiro is known for being open, even.

So when a girl in a salmon uniform shows up at the school looking for her sister Sen, a year after Chihiro’s arrival, and Chihiro launches herself into the stranger’s arms with a whoop of delight, everyone is…a little lost.

Chihiro’s sister is scary.  One of the older boys hit on her and she broke his wrist.  Chihiro told her to behave and her sister waved a hand and said, “Relax, Sen, he had it coming.”  She moves like a bulldozer–if you’re in her way, your choices are to get out of it or get flattened.  Within the day, it’s been firmly established that Lin, whoever the hell she is, is some kind of thug.  She comes by every few months and brings Chihiro brief letters from “Young Master Haku” and from “Granny” and “the boilerman” and everyone walks a little warier around Chihiro because her sister is clearly a yanki and not to be toyed with.  Chihiro’s an easygoing person, but honestly Lin absolutely radiates “they’ll never find the body” and it handily resolves any issues that Chihiro might otherwise have.

When Chihiro is fifteen she leads an ecological initiative that is…absolutely absurdly successful, largely because she looked around at the other students in her class and said “This is something I really care about, who wants to help me” and every hand went up.  Probably half of them actually care about the environment, and half of them are doing it to cover their community service requirement.  Half of them are hoping to woo Absurdly Charming Local Student Ogino Chihiro over the next few months.  There is some overlap between these groups.

Over one year, they raise an astonishing amount of money to contribute to a campaign to tear down some abandoned apartments in Chihiro’s old town and restore a river, and at the celebration they throw at the end of it all, she gets up and speaks and smiles and about three quarters of her class sighs in unison.  

“I never expected to raise this much, thank you all so much for your help,” Absurdly Charming Local Student Ogino Chihiro says, beaming.  

“Oh no,”  her classmates say, dismayed.  Turns out finishing the project means being done with weekly meetings led by Chihiro.

Lin needles Chihiro about Young Master Haku and Chihiro blushes furiously every time and changes the subject to how her grandfather is doing.  

The things that are Known about Chihiro’s grandfather are as follows:

Generally known as “the Boilerman”

Has a great many pets, all called “Sootball”

Likes Chihiro very much

Does not like Lin nearly as much

Smuggled Chihiro out of her great aunt’s house once

Does not like blood on his walls

Once hid Young Master Haku for an entire night, possibly related to the blood situation

There are some serious concerns about what the Boilerman does and why he has such strict opinions about blood on his walls.  

The next year, Chihiro’s parents are out of town on Parents’ Day, which is how everyone meets the Boilerman and also Granny, who do not seem to be married and bicker constantly about everything except Chihiro and Granny’s sister, who seems to be Lin’s boss and also the great aunt who necessitated the smuggling.  Granny mutters about Chihiro’s river fundraiser and Chihiro scolds her for almost killing someone, apparently Young Master Haku, and Granny scoffs that “he was fine” while the Boilerman complains about blood on his walls.  Chihiro asks after an old friend and Granny says “Well we almost had bandits but he took care of them and we won’t have to worry about that anymore” and goes on to praise this person’s spinning.

So, everyone concludes, they’re terrifying.

By the time Young Master Haku actually shows up, Chihiro is seventeen and she’s managed to convince the school to send her whole class to see the un-damming of the Kohaku River, and her class has pretty soundly hashed out what’s up.  It goes like this:

Chihiro’s great aunt runs a yakuza clan and Young Master Haku is her heir and Lin is one of his direct underlings, and after a falling out Granny and Great-Aunt split the clan and now hate each other, and the Boilerman works for Great-Aunt and saved Young Master Haku’s life after Granny tried to bump him off to put Chihiro in his place.  

Chihiro seems pretty well out of the family business, though, and went and fell in love with the guy she was supposed to be replacing, and although Great-Aunt doesn’t care for Chihiro as much as the rest, her son likes her and her heir likes her and so does everyone else, so the two clans play nicely for Chihiro’s sake.

Young Master Haku, once he shows up, is almost as terrifying as Lin in his coolly remote way, but he obviously dotes on Chihiro and she wears river pearl earrings that are probably worth more money than anything else she owns and grins, silly with glee, whenever she sees him.

No one tries to get Absurdly Charming Local Yakuza Daughter Ogino Chihiro to go out with them anymore because can you fucking imagine.

This was the scene where my opinion of Dumbledore changed irrevocably and why I love fanfiction with dumblesbashing. This was an 11 year old boy who’d grown up surrounded by people that bullied and hated him, everything he owned would have been in that wardrobe and he wouldn’t have known it was an illusion when it first lit up. The self righteous arse wanted to show stealing wouldn’t be tolerated but all he did was prove to Tom that even with his powers he was still weak, that he could still lose everything in a second. I can see this as the moment where tom decided that he would rise to the top of the wizarding world purely so no one could hurt him again.

A faerie introduces himself. Then, holding out a hand, asks, “And your name, please?”

And, like a fool, you give it to him.

Once my friend Henry was accused of wearing wireless headphones by a substitute so she said for him to hand them over so he took them off and handed them to her. Then later on she asked him a question and he didn’t respond so she said it louder and he still didn’t respond. She asked why he was not responding and he said “I can’t understand you ma'am, you took my hearing aids.”

I’m so fucking tired of goyim ignoring antisemitism. They ignore everything until something so extreme happens, like the recent shooting. How about you start caring about us BEFORE WE FUCKING DIE. Just fucking LISTEN for ONCE when we say we’re angry or scared or sad about the injustices we as a people have faced OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I don’t know one single Jewish person who hasnt been touched by antisemitism. I’ve been called a kike more times than I can count. I went to elementary school with a boy who told me he wished Hitler had won the war. I was shouted at and threatened by a stranger for wearing a Magen David. My grandpa has had to respond to bomb threats at our synagogue. My grandma had to switch roommates in college because her roommate was violently antisemitic. My fucking Jewish PRESCHOOL had to have ARMED GUARDS to keep people from fucking MURDERING PRESCHOOL AGED JEWISH CHILDREN. I thought all preschools had armed guards until I was like 12. Just fucking LISTEN when we say things. Here, I’ll give you a list of things you NEED to listen to us about.

Holocaust deniers are violent antisemites, no exceptions. They are dangerous and do not deserve a platform to speak.

Jewish people cannot be nazis, no matter how much you disagree with them. Ben Shapiro is a piece of transphobic racist shit, but he’s not and will never be a Nazi.

Trump and many people in his cabinet have repeatedly used antisemitic dog whistles, most recently calling himself a nationalist.

We. Are not. All. White. Stop being dicks to Jewish people of color.

And we’re not all ashkenazi!!! Google is your friend if you don’t know what that means.

Don’t do that “Nazi puncher” bullshit if you don’t actively uplift and defend Jewish people. Punching nazis is a great thing but you need to uplift and support jews at the same time.

Stop pinning Israeli war crimes on random Jewish people. And stop demanding we tell you our opinions on Israel before you treat us with basic human decency.

GOY IS NOT A SLUR

Judaism is an ETHNORELIGION. I am both religiously AND ethnically Jewish. It’s not that hard to understand.

Stop tone policing us

Just fucking listen when we speak