Drawing Corona In Increasingly Improbable Bikinis In An Attempt To Coerce Certain People To Write A Certain

drawing corona in increasingly improbable bikinis in an attempt to coerce certain people to write a certain jodybeth au

Okay but can you imagine if G1deon was the one who found Wake's body? G1deon "Thought it was my kid" just thinking Alecto possessed the baby or something. Just trying to raise her in secret, not living with John but everytime John visits or makes an unexpected phone call G1deon is aggressively hiding baby toys in the closet or cradling this baby hoping it doesn't start crying during the call It's not until Kiriona is like, 5 that G1deon is like "I don't think my baby is possessed by Alecto, and I'm starting to have some questions for my boss"

I HAVE IMAGINED IT, I think it would be

1) frankly cute. G1deon gives me vibes of someone who needs SOMETHING to latch himself to, and it's usually killing people and/or John but I think if he decided "I'm going to look after this baby" he WILL look after the baby. He will look after that baby so hard

2) Hilarious? That baby is the culmination of a plan 500 years in the making. A chubby-faced Destroyer of Gods. Key to the Tomb of the Apocalypse. And G1deon has 0 idea about it and he just thinks she's the product of a hatesex affair he wants to keep under wraps because his colleagues can't be trusted around babies and John will never let the Wake thing go.

Then when G1deon decides he has Questions for John it turns into one of those slapstick comedies where 2 single guys accidentally acquire a baby except it's the galaxy's deadliest killer, a pathetic god with abandonment issues, and Pyrrha who shows up every once in a while and nobody knows she's there except for the toddler

"Imagine my surprise, learning the man I sent to do a job stole encrypted information from my server because my daughter infected him with what must be sexually transmitted idiocy. And then learning said daughter leveraged information that could ruin the lives of her own flesh and blood to save some misguided attempt to put her uncle—THE KING's—mistress in the Prime Minister's seat WHEN THE WOMAN DOESN'T EVEN WANT IT."

*whispers* Oberyn is not wrong here. 😂

I know. We all love Sarella. And Oberyn is toxic. But potentially crossing your aunt (THE QUEEN OF WESTEROS) to put the King's mistress in power when she's said more than once she isn't interested is wild shit. lmao.

When ppl kept commenting Lyanna was being too harsh and hoped she'd come around, they missed the part when Sarella's mother accurately read Daemon:

But Sarella isn't the besotted one here. He is. Isn't that what every mother wishes for her daughter? Perhaps. More than anything, she wants Sarella to live up to the best of what she's capable of. The company of good lovers adds joy to the journey. But this man? The intense stare behind his dimpled smirk. The way he touches Sarella as if compelled by forces from beyond. He won't just tolerate Sarella's worst impulses. He'll delight in them.

And Robb, while being extremely wrong about everything, finds a sliver of right:

"Found yourself a new toy. Captain Daemon Sand. And I've read the file, Sarella. He's a perfect little lap dog, isn't he?"

So I mean... I've been trying to warn folks that this was headed for an epic blowup. And that our main character was WAY too high on her own supply.

I wonder who she'll be when we visit her in Dorne...

some parallels between the og lyctors and their Canaan House counterparts:

• G1deon and Dyas dying in the same unwinnable fight they willingly threw themselves into out of Duty

• 'chickenshits don't get beer' sounds like a Pyrrha aphorism

• the chances of Coronabeth & Ianthe painting nude portraits of each other and gifting them to people are not zero

• we know very little about Cyrus and Valancy but what we do know explains A Lot about the Third House in general

• Ulysses the Fourth launching himself into hell via Resurrection Beast/Isaac welcoming the opportunity to be a human peg board

• Magnus 'my wife practically issues written invitations to breakfast' Quinn vs Augustine 'here is a formal invitation to witness a threesome with God' Quinque

• Augustine waited 10 000 years for a biographer only for the Houses' most renowned historian/lyctor researcher to be murdered by his colleague precisely for having those interests

• Cassiopeia & Nigella being in charge of the Teacher Project where they fit many souls into one body/CamPal fitting 2 souls into one body

• Cassie being a River expert/Sex Pal creating an unprecedented River bubble

• Literally everything about Cytherea/Dulcinea

• unloveable Mercymorn, critical Mercymorn...... certainly no one could accuse Silas Octakiseron of being loveable and uncritical

• 'you will be forgiven' / immediately attempts murder: possibly the only thing Silas and Mercy would agree on

• they also both give Gideon Nav explosively vague revelations about her origins before trying to kill her

• Anastasia/Harrow having a complex and potentially horny dynamic with The Body

Okay but can you imagine if G1deon was the one who found Wake's body? G1deon "Thought it was my kid" just thinking Alecto possessed the baby or something. Just trying to raise her in secret, not living with John but everytime John visits or makes an unexpected phone call G1deon is aggressively hiding baby toys in the closet or cradling this baby hoping it doesn't start crying during the call It's not until Kiriona is like, 5 that G1deon is like "I don't think my baby is possessed by Alecto, and I'm starting to have some questions for my boss"

I HAVE IMAGINED IT, I think it would be

1) frankly cute. G1deon gives me vibes of someone who needs SOMETHING to latch himself to, and it's usually killing people and/or John but I think if he decided "I'm going to look after this baby" he WILL look after the baby. He will look after that baby so hard

2) Hilarious? That baby is the culmination of a plan 500 years in the making. A chubby-faced Destroyer of Gods. Key to the Tomb of the Apocalypse. And G1deon has 0 idea about it and he just thinks she's the product of a hatesex affair he wants to keep under wraps because his colleagues can't be trusted around babies and John will never let the Wake thing go.

Then when G1deon decides he has Questions for John it turns into one of those slapstick comedies where 2 single guys accidentally acquire a baby except it's the galaxy's deadliest killer, a pathetic god with abandonment issues, and Pyrrha who shows up every once in a while and nobody knows she's there except for the toddler

i think i am not the only one to be diagnosed with care-about-eighth-itis. the most unhinged tags i have received so far in my life (i love it)

silas colum, the saint of justice. silas colum, the saint of honor. silas colum, the saint of honesty.