Theres Not Much One Man Can Do Alone

There’s not much one man can do alone…

Stars

A/N: Day 3 of Royai Week: Stars. Another angsty fic. Sorry! I just can't help myself. It's rated R for Roy's foul language. Riza is a little more talkative than usual. Word count is around 815. This fic is influenced by the famous quote from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. Of course neither FMA nor the play are mine.

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If there remained one thing of beauty in Ishval that they had not tainted, it was the night sky.

The three of them had come together as they often did when they were not on duty. They'd been silent for about ten minutes, lost in their secret thoughts.

Hughes lay on a rough itchy blanket, looking up. Hawkeye and Mustang sat on a large flat-topped rock. Hawkeye sat with her rifle, despite being off duty, and stared ahead. Mustang sat head hanging, eyes closed.

Of course, it was Hughes who cut into the quiet. “I like to think that my beautiful Gracia is looking up at the same stars. That's what I'll put in tomorrow's letter. We'll make a date where we both look at the stars at the same time. I'll send her kisses by comet.” He pointed at a particularly bright star. “I'll call that one Gracia!”

Riza inclined her head and gave Hughes a weak smile. Sometimes, somehow, his ridiculous good spirits could pierce her dark cloud a tiny bit.

“She's in the city,” Roy grumbled. “The lights and pollution will keep her from seeing shit.”

“I hope that you won't use such language when you finally meet her! You are unromantic and mean, Roy! There are some stars you can see in the city. Right, Hawkeye?”

“She's from the country. She wouldn't know,” Roy sniped.

“The stars where I grew up were nearly this amazing,” answered Hawkeye. “In summer, when I had a break, I would lie on a blanket and gaze up at them. A friend would sometimes join me and teach me about the constellations. The angle is a little different here, but,” she pointed, “that's the Lotus Blossom. See the one falling petal? That's the Wolf.” She doubted that the friend would add to what she had said.

Roy's jaw tightened. He remembered those nights well but would not speak of them here in hell.

She continued. “We would talk about how the stars were suns that could have planets orbiting them, just like the planets around our sun.”

Maes sat up and turned to the cadet. “That sounds sooo romantic. Was this friend a boy? Do you have a fellow waiting for you that we don't know about?”

She'd said too much. Before she could compose an answer, Mustang, without lifting his head growled, “Shut up, Hughes.”

“Oh, Roy. We all know how bad it is here. You don't have to be such a grouch. Who here believes in astrology?”

Roy scoffed, but Riza perked up a bit.

“I don't believe in it, of course, but it can be fun. Some girls at my school read their horoscopes every day. When you're that young there's comfort in being promised love.” She paused. She herself had been guilty of foolishly projecting the friend into her horoscope. “One girl at school showed the teacher her horoscope to explain why she failed a test. I remember her saying, 'It wasn't my fault!' Of course, it didn't explain why she had failed several other tests.”  

Hughes laughed. “Blame failure on the stars!”

Roy's head snapped up. “That's stupid, ignorant! The stars have nothing to do with the crimes that I commit. It's all me. My base nature. My cowardice about not refusing to kill. I accept total responsibility.” He jumped up, but having heard Mustang's growing agitation, Hughes was ready for him and pulled him back down. Hawkeye just sat there, frozen.

“Hey, Buddy. What's wrong? Don't be so hard on yourself. We're all doing the best that we can, even though it's not very good at all. We've all had to make impossible decisions and live with them.”

“I'm sorry. I apologize. Especially to you Cadet Hawkeye.” Mustang worked on slowing his breathing and calming himself.

“What happened, Roy? Something... worse than the usual?” asked Hughes.

“I'm such an asshole.” Mustang was hanging his head, again. “When I'm awake, all I can think about is  all the people I've killed or maimed. Why can't we have respite when we sleep? You both have nightmares, too.” It wasn't a question.

“Of all nights to talk about stars... Last night I dreamt that each Ishvallan who I killed became a star and that was why there were so many stars in the sky here.”  

“That really sucks, Roy.” Hughes gave Mustang the hug that Hawkeye wanted to but couldn't.

“I don't know what to do,” Roy whispered.

“None of us do,” Riza replied.

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Thanks for reading. 

This is a call to arms, will you embrace me before it’s too late, baby?

Royai Week Prompt 7: Choices The choice was Maes Berthold (the writing isn’t very clear) I couldn’t decide whether I was trying to be realistic or simplified so the result is kind of… idk It’s been a good week! I’ll definitely draw more Roy and Riza in the future (And I saw people’s lovely reblog tags - thank you so much they made me so happy!)

“I will follow you into hell if you ask me.”

Royai week day 7 prompt: Choices

My quick contribution to the fandom (and a little play with copic markers).