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191130 mma - danger & dionysus

okay wait fuck that i'm not done yet.

katelyn mackenzie put up with so fucking much. i mean she started college, met a guy she liked in her classes, and spent probably an inordinate amount of time building up to the point where he'd willing say full sentences to her, but he's still detached and distant when they're anywhere more public, outside of the library or classes. usually a red flag, but something made her decide that he was worth it anyway. she watches him on the court, smiles even when he looks away from her after they hold each other's gazes for a fraction of a second, and just hangs onto what he sounds like when they study together, what his smile looks like. hangs on to the parts of him she knows are real, even if nobody else gets to see them. then when she finally starts dating aaron, he explains. in no uncertain terms, she will get hurt if people know about them. he says it openly and he tells her she can leave. maybe she should. maybe she should just leave all of this, get out when she's got a chance, but what then? ignore him on the court? look away when she passes him on the way out of a lecture? is she supposed to pretend they never happened, that they were never real, even if it might be for the best?

she says yes, anyway. and then for two years– two years– she loves him quietly, nothing but study sessions and rare empty dorm rooms, half-smiles and almost-waves, and she holds onto the fragments of himself that he shares, slowly building him up, piece by piece, until the half of aaron minyard that she can hold in her hands in the dark, is almost completely different from the half the rest of the world knows. aaron takes her to the banquet, and she wonders if he's starting to come out of his shell, starting to solidify her as part of his life. he texts her when he and his family head to columbia for thanksgiving. she says miss you <3. then she's his phone call from the holding cell when his voice shakes and she asks if he's okay and he says 'andrew's hurt.' then there's nothing she can do but wait. aaron comes back, and he collapses into her arms. she holds him all night. he tells her she doesn't deserve this. she holds him tighter.

they spend that winter closer than they've ever been, aaron sleeping beside her more often than not, falling asleep with her hands in his hair, his arms around her waist. they get dinner together. the foxes are polite during what little time she spends with them, and she often wonders if she's out of place, but aaron's hand squeezes hers under the table and it's worth it. she goes home for christmas, calls him every other day, texts him on new year's, and misses him like a lung. it isn't until she gets back that she realises it can't stay like this– andrew's home again, and it's back to secrets and shared nights cut short and aaron's lying about his nightmares getting better and she's tired of hiding and pretending that they're nothing, so she tentatively takes the first chance she gets and when she needs to, she stands her ground.

she stops being collateral damage. she wants aaron, more than anything, but she won't act like this doesn't hurt. cutting him off aches like the worst kind of pain, and for a terrifying week she wonders if she meant enough to aaron for him to stand up to his brother the way she's asking him to. she folds her arms and grits her teeth and refuses to back away. she forces herself not to meet aaron's eyes when he looks for her at games, and it isn't until he knocks at her door and says he loves her that she realises that this was always going to hurt one way or another, but that didn't make it any less worth it.

and on top of THAT?? she's a fucking medical student! this woman has a will of steel

it'll be okay. like hands on a clock, everything will go in circles back to its place. remember, we're together always. it doesn't change, i won't let go of your hand.

okay but here's the thing. here's my aaron minyard thesis statement. (of sorts).

he wants so badly not to care, but he can't help it. he loves with such ferocity that it borders on anger, because that's the only kind of love he's ever known. he grew up alone. his dad was gone, his mom might as well have been, and he wasn't good at making friends. he knew how to bandage a wound but he didn't know how to talk to people. he was cracked when he was born, and every day he falls apart a little more. and really, he thinks that's all he is– shards and fragments, wounds and scars, all bundled up and moulded into the shape of a human being. he hates his heart. he hates its desperation, how it's been aching for so long that the pain has become an afterthought, a sidebar to the rest of the hurt. he hates that he was a boy who wanted to love his mother, even when it bled, even when it stung, he hates the sound of his voice when he says "I love you," as she flicks the cap off another bottle and stalks from the room. he hates that he was a half who wanted to be whole, who let his pleading heart write to the brother that came like a saving grace, who checked the mailbox every day for weeks to be hated by someone else. apathy seeps in like a wave against the shore, the tide creeping just a little higher every day, but no matter how far in it comes, the sand beneath remains.

aaron loved andrew from the day he heard his name, and every second he knew him, he tried so desperately not to. he used to whisper andrew's name to himself at night so he wouldn't forget it, staring at the birthmark on his wrist, wondering if his brother's was identical. when andrew moved in, even though he hid it well, aaron knew the signs. andrew was already hurting. the first time tilda got drunk, he heard her downstairs while andrew slept, heard her throw things at the wall. aaron had always slept lightly. he crept from the room and down the stairs to face his mother, and with every hit he gritted his teeth and moved with the force, let her get her anger out. he tucked a blanket up to her shoulders when she passed out. he fell back asleep in his bed opposite andrew's and his brother never knew. aaron lied and aaron pretended and aaron did whatever he could to protect his brother because that's what brothers did. that's how brothers love each other.

when aaron loves, he bleeds. he thought that was how it had to be.

JerDrew Friendship

They start talking when Jean joins the Trojans. Jeremy isn’t fully prepared for what they’re dealing with when it comes to Jean’s trauma and he splits his questions between Andrew and Renee.

Andrew actually gives good answers from time to time. It’s not that he cares about Jeremy or Jean in particular, he just has intimate knowledge of how to deal with how the Nest fucks people up after both Kevin and Neil.

But then Jeremy starts messaging him about other things. Even as simple as, “hey, haven’t heard from you in a few days. Just wanted to say hi!”. Andrew rarely dignifies those with a response.

When it’s an emotional emergency, Jeremy usually calls Renee. She tends to comfort him more than Andrew does but one time he finds himself utterly distraught and she isn’t answering so he calls Andrew. He can hear Andrew’s friends in the background (Jer would never call them “the monsters”) but it gets quiet once Andrew realizes that Jeremy is utterly freaking out. Ravens have been killing themselves left and right, and Jeremy is worried it might force Jean over the edge. Andrew’s already had this conversation before, talking down Kevin from driving all the way to California to check on Jean.

“Have you ever known him to disappoint you?” “No, but-” “Then give him some fucking credit here.”

Andrew doesn’t hang up first though, letting Jeremy get through everything he needs to.

Slowly it starts to feel like they’re in this together, even if they’re not truly friends at first. Even though Andrew hates the idea of actually making friends - he only has interest in family and at first, Jeremy is certainly not that.

But saving Ravens pulls them together, knits their mismatched souls in to some sort of shitty quilt.

Andrew starts answering the, “just saying hi” texts.

Jeremy stops having to send them so often, because Andrew has taken to sending him unflattering pictures of Kevin every few days. (Both to get back at Kevin for being a bitch and because he knows they make Jeremy laugh.)

[270/547] — until we meet again, jungkook ♡

seonghwa // log_logbook#153

"Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with."

fav aftg fics go

okay okay okay in no particular order:

Wicked Game by @ashestoashes7: absolutely GORGEOUS character study of andreil. it was posted yesterday and i’ve read it 4 times so far. i’m obsessed with it. the characterization is frighteningly spot-on

Golden by @minyard-05: AARON MINYARD. okay this is painful but good god is it absolutely worth it. absolutely absolutely adore this

What Happened to Little Nathaniel? by @thousandstories: i cannot recommend this enough!!! seriously go read this immediately. the entire concept is immaculate and every chapter is a banger and the realism is off the charts, plus you get gems like the fbi’s official emails coming with a “we’ve gone paperless!” note

Twice as Many Stars by @millportisntreal: nathaniel and neil are different people and they are TWINS! absolutely adore the concept and the execution 100% does it justice

we carry our own weight by @wyverningx: jerejean!!! wrong number au where jerejean (technically) meet when jean is still at evermore. absolute incredible i love itttt (and this sequel as well!)

whatever satisfies the soul is truth by kekune: absolutely GORGEOUS character study of one nicky hemmick. criminally few people have read this but it’s astoundingly good (i don’t know if the author has a tumblr sadly)

this post by @ninyard: terrible terrible terrible post i love it so fucking much. only read this if you want to cry. gorgeously written and absolutely heart-wrenching. i hate hate hate it (in the best way possible)

this is an incomplete list!! just what i could remember off the top of my head

I need Kevin to make friends who don’t care about exy/ think it’s cool but aren’t sports fans. I need Kevin to be told that his knowledge of history is so cool and really fascinating and “Kevin, can you tell me more about that one ancient civilization you mentioned earlier?” I need Kevin to be told that he’s worth so much more than his exy skill. I need Kevin to know that he is enough and worth something even without exy.

the zombie apocalypse debate + matt boyd being the king of twitter

[i may be misremembering the plot of dawn of the dead don't tell me though this is funnier]

masterpost

I doubt I've ever made something so fast as always I stole it from Twitter and like I'm sorry but there's no character that fits this more than the 5'3 red haired telephonephobe mf

The foxes : How do you get Andrew to do stuff? He is impossible!

Neil : I ask

The foxes : You ask?

Neil, believes in Andrew, gains his trust, accepts a 'NO' without any hesitation; no questions asked, respects his boundaries, never demands anything, is also unfairly attractive and unfortunately Andrew is very, very gay

Neil : Yeah I ask.

the fact that andrew talked to renee about neil is endlessly funny to me like do you think he ever looked over and renee waved and andrew was like "oh my god don't fucking wave at him he's fucking looking at me now" like when fifteen year olds talk about their crushes

literally shoutout to that's the spirit 2015 by bring me the horizon for having SO many songs that are literally just for the perfect court like look at this shit

riko

kevin

jean

neil

andrew

like they didnt have to do all that but they Did

these cuties 💙 cr. namuspromised

neil colored sketch request !

neil holding on to exy like a lifeline because it’s all he has left of a broken childhood 🤝 kevin loving the sport he was tortured in the name of because it’s all he has left of his mother

There’s the quote “You’ve grown into someone who would’ve protected you as a child. And that is the most powerful move you made.”

If that is isn’t Andrew Minyard, then I don’t know what is.

oh my GOD hoseok

🎣😬

his laugh is everything (4/?)

{cr. 0613data, dwellingsouls}

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