I Need An AU Where...

I need an AU where...

Draco’s wand is broken and he’s sent to live in the Muggle world for his crimes as a Death Eater

years later, Harry is an auror sent to a Muggle city to investigate a series of crimes

Harry stays at a ritzy hotel where the staff is startlingly familiar- Goyle is a bellhop/porter, Zabini is a concierge, Parkinson is a waitress at the hotel restaurant

as unsettling as it is, it’s not as unsettling as the fact that someone is missing from this group- and that bothers Harry more than it should

finally Malfoy appears, as the pianist who plays piano in the restaurant at dinner

Harry thinks that Malfoy should not be so enrapturing as he plays, but he is

Now, living in a hotel for an extended period of time where a bunch of former Slytherins/ war criminals should be hell for a Gryffindor like Harry, but it’s surprisingly… not?

Parkinson is as funny as she is bitchy, Goyle is kind of sweet when you pay attention to him, Zabini is a source of endless free entertainment, and  Malfoy- Malfoy is really something special

He’s guarded, obviously has a lot of trust issues, but he’s not scared of Harry- he’ll talk to him, tell him about the piano pieces he plays (they’re mostly French songs from the mid-1900s, Harry learns), about the church he sometimes plays the organ for, about the music shop across town where he has another job- Harry realizes he wants to be friends with this new Draco Malfoy he’s getting to know

While Malfoy is happy to chat casually with Harry, he’s hesitant to start an actual friendship– he turns Harry down every time he asks him out to lunch, he refuses to speak about heavier topics (the war, his parents, etc)

Harry catches him off guard when one day he shows up at the music shop where Malfoy works during one of his shifts 

Harry insists it was truly coincidental, he was only at the shop to buy a book of blank sheet music to give to Malfoy so he could write his own music

 Malfoy is so touched that he gives in to Harry’s attempt at friendship, and within practically no time at all, they’re friends burgeoning on something more 

They become a couple (probably w/ some dramatic confessions, heated kisses, and encouragement from Parkinson)

When Harry’s case is closed, he has to go back to Wizarding London,, when he tells Draco, Draco breaks things off with him, saying Harry deserves someone who can be with him in his own world

Harry, devastated, goes back to the Ministry with an agenda- make sure Draco and his friends are allowed back into the Wizarding World

B/c he’s Harry fucking Potter and b/c of some Slytherin ambition which rubbed off on Harry, he succeeds

happy ending where Draco and Harry get back together, Draco opens his own music shop in Dragon Alley, and Harry wakes up in the mornings to his boyfriend playing piano in the living room 

INTO THE SPIDERVERSE HAS LOTS OF FLASHING LIGHTS WITHOUT ANY WARNING

The title screen, which is around a minute long, is constantly flashing

The end scene, which is around 10 minutes, is also filled with flashing, almost without a pause

There are several instances of flashing during the movie as well, either because of the animation style or because the of the plot (sometimes both)

But just like in incredibles 2, the plot relies heavily on flashing and there’s a LOT more than in incredibles

PLEASE be careful because there is a LOT of flashing lights in this movie (and no warning)

I encourage everyone to reblog this, even if you’re not sensitive, you never know who you could save by informing them of this

Come on, cheer up, it’s nearly Christmas.

I can really imagine Draco being the kind of person who skips meals a lot. At first it’s because at the manor when he was a kid there were always set meal times and at Hogwarts that’s no longer the case so sometimes he just… Forgets.

And then during the war he just spends as much time as he can hauled up in his room to avoid any of the visitors at Hogwarts or Malfoy manor, which makes finding a decent meal quite difficult.

After the war he’s completely lost his eating routine and even when he does remember that he should eat there’s often this little voice inside his head whispering but do you deserve to eat? Is the pain of being hungry not the perfect punishment for an evil death eater like yourself who slipped through the mazes of the law?

And even when his self hatred lessens a bit he still…. doesn’t eat. He eats with friends, with colleagues at work, with the kind lady next door when she knocks on his door to borrow some sugar (which is just her excuse for a chat). But when he’s alone it just doesn’t happen. 

So when, after three days of living on tea and biscuits he emerges from his potions research to pick something up in Diagon Alley, he’s just walking across the street and then suddenly… He isn’t. He’s on the floor, a god awful stinging pain in his stomach, shoulder, the side of his head and the arm he used to catch himself is quite clearly broken. 

Not many people care though. Passer by’s are never much inclined to help in the first place, and when they see it’s a Malfoy sprawled out on the street they simply step around him and move on with their day. A couple of youthful fellas don’t even bother to go round, they step on him, which is when…

“Hey! How dare you treat a fellow human being like that!” The fury in Mrs Weasley’s voice is of a kind Draco hasn’t heard since the battle of Hogwarts. He tries to roll over and get a good look at the woman, but his muscles don’t agree with that idea and he faints again. 

When he comes to, he’s in a place that is both familiar and completely unknown to him. He’s never been there before, but he knows some of its occupants and the house reflects their spirit brilliantly. 

“Ah, I see you’re awake my love.” Mrs Weasley is at his side in an instant, helping him sit up and drink a cup of strong, sweetened tea. “What on earth got into to go without eating for this long? I often say to my guests that they look famished, but in your case you actually are skinny to the bloody bone.”

Mrs. Weasley pushed him back into the couch pillows with a kind yet firm hand. To his surprise it didn’t hurt. The Weasley matriarch must have healed him while he was out cold. 

“I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t mean to bother you.” Draco apologised, feeling incredibly stupid laying there on the Weasley’s couch. “I’ll pay attention to that next time I go out.”

“Next time you, next time you go out?” Mrs Weasley sputtered. “Okay that’s it you’re staying here until you’ve properly learned how to take care of yourself young man. I won’t have you leaving this house until you look like you’re living on good meals and love instead of desperation and thin air.” 

“But-, but ma’am,” it was Draco’s turn to sputter now. “Don’t you know who I am?”

“I know exactly who you are. Namely a child who’s half starved with no one to properly look after him.” Mrs Weasley said sharply, though something in her eyes told Draco that she knew his last name damn well. He was mildly offended by being called a child though. He was twenty seven, not four. “So, don’t move as I go into the kitchen to make you some decent soup. Try to sleep a bit while I’m gone.” 

Then Mrs Weasley left, leaving a baffled Draco. But also a very tired Draco, who was starting to feel the toll of not eating and barely sleeping for three days. Damned potions research for being so interesting. Though he couldn’t make himself think about that now, he was too busy falling asleep again.

“Mum! You didn’t say anything about adopting our best potion freelancer!” Draco was startled awake as the Weasley twins fell out of the heart. “Though I must say I-”

“Fred! Stop disturbing our guest right this instance!” Mrs Weasley came out of the kitchen with a ladle swinging threateningly above her head. “Yes I adopted him because I literally found him passed out in the middle of Diagon alley since he doesn’t eat. And if I find out you two knew about that but didn’t say anything you can both sleep in the garden for the rest of your pitiful existence. Now come into the kitchen and help me peel the potatoes.”

“Wow, passed out in the middle of…” George half whispered as he shot one last look at Draco. “That’s not good.”

No it isn’t. Now come over here and help me feed the young man.”Mrs Weasley ordered. “Both of you.”

Draco, who’d been pretending to sleep the entire time, actually fell asleep again as the twins left the living room. He didn’t wake again until soft fingers and a dreamy voice coaxed him out of dreamland. 

“Dracoooo.” Luna whispered, poking his cheek. “It’s time for dinner. You have to eat.” 

“Hmpf.” Draco muttered, feeling entirely unprepared for that task. He felt like shit in the middle of a lion’s den and it wasn’t a place where he wanted to be. “Don’t want to. Leave me alone.”

“Luna will do no such thing.” Mrs Weasley had returned, and she clearly wasn’t having his nonsense. “You’ll feel better once you have a good meal in you, Draco dear. That’s a Weasley promise.” 

Reluctantly, Draco opened his eyes at that and let the two women help him off the couch. He felt pathetic and dumb and completely unfit for a meal in a way that had nothing to do with his stomach. 

“Nice hair, Malfoy.” Fred joked as he started piling way too many things on Draco’s plate after a warning glare from his mother. “Goes brilliantly with the mud stains on your sweater.”

“Thanks.” Draco muttered, feeling way too out of it for a snarky comment. He only just managed to sit down without assistance. “And thanks for all this, Mrs Weasley. You really didn’t have to.”

“Bullshit. If she hadn’t done it I would have.” Draco was startled by the voice of Potter and turned his head just a bit too fast as he watched the man enter. Lucky for him, Potter chose to sit next to him and disguised his unsteadiness by pulling him into a big hug. “Dammit Malfoy, I knew you were skinny but I thought that was a family thing. Turns out you just don’t bloody eat at all.” 

Potter sounded almost angry as he spoke, which Draco found quite confusing. He had no time to question it though as Mrs Weasley ordered them all to tuck in, which he did. He only stopped eating when his stomach was filled to burst. Only then did he notice all the other people around the table. Neville, Luna, Potter, Mrs and Mr Weasley, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Dean, Seamus, even always busy Holyhead Harpies chaser Ginny was there. 

It looked like a true family. 

“It’s a nice thing to be part of, isn’t it?” Potter asked with the biggest happy grin on his face. Draco opened his mouth to utter some sort of protest, but Potter wouldn’t let him. “Shut it Malfoy. You are part of it. And you deserve it too, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Not that it matters if you agree with that or not, Molly is still going to bring you breakfast lunch and dinner until she trusts you to eat properly on your own.”

“You’re damn right I will.” Mrs Weasley confirmed. “Walking half starved through Diagon Alley… That a level of idiocy that I haven’t seen in many moons. Though I’m glad you did love, who known what would have happened if you’d passed out somewhere where no one would find you?”

“I would have died, probably.” Draco noted, realising for the first time how big an issue this eating thing was for him. If he’d passed out in his potions lab, the fumes would have done him in, and in his own flat… It wasn’t odd for him to be alone for a week. Passing out there wouldn’t be the brightest plan either. 

“Well then fucking eat like a normal person.” Potter said angrily as he trapped Draco in a bone crushing hug. “You’re not allowed to die, Draco.”

“I’m not?”

“No.” Potter shook his head. “I forbid it. And I’m the saviour so you have to listen to me. It’s the law.” 

“I’m quite sure that’s not a law, Potter.” Draco chuckled, but he still enjoyed the sentiment. “But alright, I’ll try.” 

“You’ll try when you go back to your own place. Which won’t be for at least two months, Draco.” Mrs Weasley shot him a warning glare. “I’m nourishing you back to health and good habits before you can walk out the door, understood?”

Draco nodded, slightly baffled by how fierce everyone was. He was quite sure they cared more about his health than he did. But as he stayed at the Burrow, quickly integrating into the strange family, he slowly started to care for his own health a little bit. 

And it slowly became clear that he wasn’t going home at all. Or rather, not his old home. He had a new home now. First the Burrow, and after a few weeks, Harry’s own flat. Because he was Harry to him now. That, and his boyfriend. A boyfriend who bothered him just as much about food as Mrs. Weasley did. 

And for the first time in his life, Draco was glad for it.

so, in the harry potter books, we know that harry’s neighbour is a squib called mrs figg, but there never seems to be any mention of a mr figg. so i propose a theory. harry is faceblind and there are two mrs figgs

evidence for this theory:

harry is incredibly unobservant

they own lots of cats

she’s on good terms with dumbledore, another Known Gay™

she has absolutely ZERO problem with straight-up lying to the government

Happy Hanukkah to all our Jewish followers!