"It's Not That Deep Buffy, Geez" I Agree!

"It's not that deep Buffy, geez" 🤣 I agree!

Please continue this!

The Lost Boys watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

This is longer than anything I’ve written up to this point already so if y’all like this I’ll do a part two.

(Part one-Seasons 1-3) (Spoilers for BTVS)

•Paul makes them watch it

•They’re like, ‘Why would we watch a show about a vampire slayer? Haven’t we lived that nightmare?’

•He’s like ‘wait wait wait you guys, the vampire slayer is a hot girl AND she has SEX with the vampires.’ Nightmare? More like wet dream

•They’re like 😮😮😮

•So they watch it

•They see her in the first episode and they’re like damn we got two 12 year olds with god complexes and they got this hot blonde chick???

•There is no justice.

•Paul is IN LOVE with Buffy. He watches the show with heart eyes fr

•The boys are like, ‘Paul she’s a slayer it would never work’ and he’s like, ‘I could fix her😍’

•Dwayne sighs

•The first couple of episodes are hard for them to get through, but Paul’s like, just power through it

•They think Cordelia is hot

•Angel’s introduced and they’re like, dude this tall quiet guy who reads a lot is just like you Dwayne!

•Once they find out that Angel’s a vampire that doesn’t even eat people, Dwayne’s pissed.

• “Damn, they made your guy a pussy.” Marko gets a pillow thrown at him

•Once they find out he gets the girl though they’re kind of like, gotta do what you gotta do I guess

•They hate Xander. HATE HIM.

•They grumble every time he comes on screen

•1. They think he’s annoying as hell and 2. He’s trying to steal Buffy from Angel??? LET HER FUCK VAMPIRES XANDER

•Buffy dies in the season one finale and Paul LOSES IT. He’s like, ‘there was not one single vampire hookup wtf??? All we got was some slow burn shit???’

•Oh she’s back, nevermind.

•In season two Spike shows up and they do a double take

•Marko, Paul, and Dwayne silently look at Spike, then at David, then at Spike, then at David again

•Paul says, “…is that guy supposed to be you?”

•David’s narrows his eyes and says, “I don’t see it.”

•The boys all exchange looks and then Marko says, “yeah he has a British accent and a great haircut, he’s wayyyy hotter than you.”

•Marko gets a boot thrown at him

•Marko WANTS to add that Spike doesn’t need high-heeled boots to look taller but he’s on thin ice so he keeps his mouth shut.

•Spike is a total bad ass with a hot crazy vampire girlfriend

•They’re like damn where are our hot crazy vampire partners????

•No. Justice.

•Paul says, “well, Marko’s our hot crazy vampire partner.” And Dwayne and David are like true true.

•Marko grumbles like ok but where’s MY psychopath

•Then they watch Spike get hit over the head with an axe by Buffy’s MOM and they all get second hand embarrassment, like yikes

•They’re like, ‘Lucy never could’ve pulled one over on us like that’ embarrassing.

•When Buffy fucks Angel they’re like FINALLY

•Angel turns into Angellus and eats someone in the next episode and Paul jumps up and yells “I knew he was fakin’ it!”

•Marko, David, and Dwayne groan. Dwayne’s like ‘just listen’

•Later that same episode Buffy blows up the bad guy with a bazooka and they’re like ‘damn we’ll take the twelve year olds’

•They love that Angel tortures and eats people now

•David literally pulls out a notepad and takes notes

•When Angel kills Jenny and stages the murder scene for Giles he and Marko each shed a single tear at the artistry. They’re impressed.

•Paul’s like, when are they gonna fuck again?

•When they see how Angellus turned Drusilla crazy they’re like ohhh ok so that’s how we get the hot crazy vampire partners

•Now Marko’s taking notes too

•Xander lies to Buffy so she thinks there’s no chance of saving Angel and Marko’s like, ‘can Angel just eat this guy?’

•Spike and Buffy team up? (Hot). Angel gets cured? Buffy kills Angel?????

•They take a break for blood after the season 2 finale, it’s a lot to process.

•Faith comes into town in season three they think she’s HOT

•Paul ships Faith and Buffy

•He also ships them with him😍

•ANGEL IS BACK???? AND NAKED???? COULD THINGS GET ANY BETTER????

•Paul is literally drooling through the entire episode

•They’re bored by angsty Angel he is nice to look at though they miss Angellus

•Willow and Xander kiss? Dwayne, who’s been pretty quiet the whole time, says “she could do so much better.” They all nod

•They literally think “the dog” is a better choice for her

•Xander is the biggest vampire cockblock ever they hate him so much

•SPIKE’S BACK

•His hot crazy girlfriend dumped him. Damn.

•They pause the show to pour one out

•They love Spike so much

•He’s basically David at this point and they love David. (David especially loves David so he’s a hugeeee Spike fan)

•Paul’s favorite episode is Bad Girls

•He rewinds and replays the scene where there dancing together at the bronze. Like a lot.

•Dwayne confiscates the remote after the 8th playback

•Their jaws drop when Faith kills someone, but they’re on her side.

•Marko’s like, ‘It’s not that deep Buffy, geez’

•They appreciate the use of chains in the show

•Faith is evil now? Hell yeah.

•The show needed another hot evil female character. She’s not a vampire but they’ll take it

•Hot crazy vampire Willow the next episode, fuck yes!

•Angellus is back? Just what this season needed

•He’s Marko’s favorite character

•This torture scene is weirdly erotic? David and Marko love it.

•Angellus isn’t back???? Their jaws are on the floor

•Marko’s low key disappointed but he appreciates the plot twist.

•They all miss Spike

•They love Faith but they hate the mayor.

•Second biggest vampire cockblock fr

•Also he eats bugs? What’s up with that?

•Angel gets shot by a poison arrow? Dwayne says he’ll stop watching if Angel dies, he grew on him.

• “Nooo Faith don’t die you’re too sexy ahaha”

•They HATE the watcher council, especially Wesley. They think Angel should get to eat him.

•Angel feeds from Buffy? They’re jealous.

•Paul is HELLA jealous

•He yells at the TV like, “THAT SHOULD BE ME”

•They finish season three, the gang beats the bad guy blah blah blah, but ANGEL LEAVES

•They all agree there needs to be another sexy vampire in season 4 to fill the hole Angel left

To be continued???

Dont be such a pussy David

Anonymous asked:

Heyyy! I was wondering if you could do a lost boys x reader where the reader tries to scare them but fails everytime? :)

I did a scare/fun prank, I hope you like it bruv <3

Today was boring. The whole week had been boring.

It had been too wet and rainy for much to happen, even in the cave, with the pitter-patter soothing and echoing around you. You had done little more than cuddle and read.

You sighed for the millionth time, stretching out across David who wrapped his arm around your waist, bringing you into him as he tried to drift away into a long-awaited nap.

Unacceptable.

"David," you whispered, looking up at him from your position by his chest, arm reaching up, "David-" you poked his nose, ignoring his growl, "Dav-" you went to pinch his cheek, wrist caught in a tight grip, and one blue eye cracked open to glare down at you.

"What"

"I'm bored, wanna do stuff" he huffed, and free'd you from his grip, rolling over so his back was to you. A clear indication to be left alone.

Pouting you pushed yourself up, looking around the cave.

Marko was tending to his jacket, going through his box of patches and picking one out that he had been wanting to add for a while.

"Pssst" David breathed out, head tilting to listen to you continue to be a pain.

"Marko-" his eyes met yours and he grinned, placing down the clothing and walking over to you.

You held your arms up, silently asking to be carried, legs too sore and exhausted from the walk to the cave. He hummed, bending down and wrapping an arm under your legs, another sliding behind your back while your arms wrapped around his neck.

A slow rumble left his chest as he began to purr, bringing you to where his makeshift workstation was, letting you watch as he worked.

-

The rest of the night was calm, most of it spent between the two blondes while the other two of your mates went flying around in the thunder.

It was a surprise that Dwayne hadn't been struck by lightning with how wild and spiked out his hair had become.

Eventually daytime came, but the sky was still dark and they stayed awake as long as they could, even visiting the boardwalk for a bit before they became weary.

You sat, and slept, and schemed.

Deciding to create fun of your own.

You were going to try and "scare" your mates, though you doubted how well it would work.

-

Wednesday was slow, work dragged and you wanting nothing more than some salty fries and to blast music until the early hours.

You had drove home from work, and your chair had been a pain in the ass, refusing to fit into the back seat so you could get settled in. At one point a wheel had dug into the back of your head, spinning into your temple when you went around corners.

Curling up on the armchair across from your tv you glared at the offending item. In the end your neighbour had carried it in for you, just so you could burn out your anger on the short walk down the drive as hail pelted your skin.

The neighbor, Mrs Mabel, watched you with concern but said nothing more than that she had casserole if you needed a little sumthin.

So now you would wait, the house quiet. Surprisingly soothing, since you hated being exposed to all of the quiet ticks the household created when there was nothing to drown it out.

Fortunately you had prepared for today the night before.

-

At first you weren't sure where to start.

I mean, you had no idea what they were scared of outside of things that would cause a slow painful death.

And so you had visited the joke shop by your work a few days prior, requesting bags of the most realistic bugs they had, knowing even if they didn't scare your mates they would certainly annoy them.

That was more the purpose of the glitter you had spray coated onto them, it was black and orange and blended in well with the natural tone of the "tarantula" fur.

-

You dozed off at some point, legs over the arm of of the chair and neck bent awkwardly as you bent forward into the side, nose now a little numb.

The back door cracked open and Dwayne's voice rang out, "you in?"

"Mhm!" you fought to move, but he appeared in front of you before you could, bending down and pressing a kiss to your cheek, Marko and David followed through soon after.

Marko slid onto your lap, curly hair brushing your nose and making you twitch as he pressed his lips to your jaw. How was work baby?

His voice rang out in your head, eyes flashing to yours as he took note of your exhaustion, "busy day?"

You nodded, wrapping your arms around him, ignoring the fuzzy numbness from being stuck in the same position for too long.

"Tired?"

No

"Uh huh," he ran his hand through your hair, pulling you to lean closer, watching your eyes slip shut, "want your meds."

"Yes- please, they're," Dwayne vanished before you could finish, and you heard the bathroom cabinet mirror open above the sink, a loud exclamation following, "ah."

The brunette reappeared in front of you, "ah", you and Marko fell into each other, snickering.

Dwayne was no longer looking as punk and cool as he usually did, his hair had caught most of the bugs, and you could see the shiny wee things reflecting in the light of the room. Even better was the effect of the glitter, there were sparkly orange streaks in his hair and his jacket had sustained a good bit of damage

"Trying a new look love?" His smile was tight and he all but threw Marko off of you, pinning you to the chair as he began to tickle your sides, climbing so his legs were either side of you as he tortured your form.

-

The first was a moderate success.

Unfortunately, the glitter was easier to get out than you expected, fortunately, it hadn't stained his favorite jacket.

Though the intended target was one of the blondes, at least with Markos jacket the glitter would have just blended in.

Speaking of.

Your sweet golden boy had offered to help, wanting to make your pranks go even further.

He was, after all, a master at pissing people off with clever tricks.

And so you happily accepted.

-

"Quick! Quick!"

The two of you were in the cave, sat on the floor beside Pauls great wall of cassettes. Beside you was a box of completely blank tapes, each with only one surprise song on it from a choir you had bought at a thrift shop. On the other side was a box full of the correct cassettes, ones you had listened to many a time.

After some careful deliberation the two of you had decided to mess with what the boy loved most, his precious music collection. You would never touch the vinyls, they were too fragile in their rather old age. But the cassettes, they could be easily replaced, and were fair game.

Paul was out on the other side of town most of the day, dealing with his little drug business and scoping out some competition that had been driving him insane.

And naturally, when he came back he would head straight to his favourite source of relaxation.

Only, instead of his usual combination of jazz and rock he would be serenaded by the lords gospel.

It would be beautiful, you were sure.

"Is that the last one?" You nodded handing the final plastic box to Marko, watching him run away with the box of cassettes to hide it where it wouldn't be seen.

When he returned he pulled you up, nudging you in the direction of the long sofa by the fountain before checking the wall, making sure everything was in the correct place.

An hour later Paul returned, now a lot chipper than before. Clearly, the outcome of his adventures had been rewarding.

He walked past where the two of you were cuddling, your back against Markos chest as his fingers danced up and down your arm. A sloppy kiss was pressed to both your cheeks before he strolled on, heading straight towards the wall.

"What are you feeling like babe?" you shrugged, telling him to pick for you, hiding your grin by biting your lip. He nodded, hair bouncing, and reached a Led Zepplin tape.

He pushed it into the large boombox, pressing play and stretching out as his mind readied for some of his favourite tunes.

When they didn't immediately begin he frowned, looking down at it, listening as gentle humming began.

Soon enough the sounds of 'Praise be the lord' filled the cave, and you and Marko were having a hard time holding it in as Paul stared slack jawed, not understanding what the hell was happening.

He paused it, ejecting the tape and returning it to the box. Reaching for Queen.

Again, hymns, fucking hymns.

"What the hell?!-" Paul looked towards the pair of you, hoping for some answers. Instead, he was met with both of you clinging onto each other, doing your best to hold in your laughter, he pointed a long shaky finger in your direction, "you little shits- what did you do?!"

You were unable to hold it in, jaws aching as the sound of you grew louder than the music. Paul's fists clenched and suddenly Marko was gone from beneath you, your body falling back onto the arm of the sofa.

-

Paul didn't speak to you both for two days. The longest he had managed to go in over a hundred years.

Eventually he came around when you both trapped him in the nest, nuzzling him and giving him sweet sweet kisses, a box of his favourite "brownies" pushed to his lap.

He wasn't that mad about the prank, it was smart and well executed, he was just bummed the two of you had fun without him.

And so, he was brought into the gang. And oh boy, was the next one mean.

-

David wasn't scared easily. He was old as fuck to start, he had seen so much, experienced too much. The guy knew how to tell when he was being messed around with.

So you had to be sneaky.

Keeping your minds clear and giving no indication anything was up. Even Dwayne was entirely unaware of what was coming.

It wouldn't be too harmful, just something to set his nerves on fire, meaning it had to be all down to you in the end. The intention was to make it seem like you had, died, well not died more horrifically injured.

Marko was going to "push" you off of the cliff above their home, and Paul was going to catch you, not that David would see him until he thought it was too late.

"You ready babe?" Marko pressed his lips above your ear, nodding to Paul who hopped off the cliffside to wait for you.

"Mhm," he grinned.

"Good"

He could hear David and Dwayne returning, letting the handles of your chair go with a gentle nudge, watching you roll closer to the edge.

The two eldest were near the end of the forest now, conversing with each other. Something dumb he would hear about later.

Marko turned when they entered his vision, waving at them, "hey guys!"

Dwayne went to wave back but his eyes widened at something behind him, David seeing it too and both of them running to a full sprint, shouting your name.

Marko turned, feigning confusion. Your scream was all he heard as you vanished over the edge.

David roared, flying over with you and almost slamming into Paul who had you safely in his arms.

You and Paul both send him wide grins, the latter rising above his frozen friend, bringing you both back to stable ground.

Hands were reaching for your face, running along your body. As you met the wild eyes of Dwayne you winced, okay maybe this one had been a little too far.

The brunette pulled you to him, holding you close as he took deep sniffs of your hair. David's feet touched the ground behind you and soon you were surrounded by them both.

-

"Shhhh, its ok little one," Marko and Paul were getting the beating of a lifetime, meanwhile you were being coddled by the other two.

They refused to believe their sweet baby was that evil, no, it was the devious blondes. After all why would you willingly go off the side of a cliff, breaking your expensive chair which was now drying beside the fountain, the frame now bent awkwardly.

"You two can sleep on the ground tonight, little shits."

"David, we did it together, why won't you listen-!"

Paul's voice vanished as David stole you away to the nest, giving them a sharp look. Sending you something similar as you went to speak.

Well. It was a success either way. David's face was ingrained in your memory and your meds were keeping him out of your mind, for now, might as well enjoy the affection while it lasted.

The Lost Boys (1987)

18+ MDI (Dark Headcanons) – Consent Violations

[Summary] Forced Turning and how each boy would do it. Inspired by my Modern!AU headcanons/one-shots and the Lost Boys Yandere Alphabet co-written by @that-girl-who-writes-sometimes

If you aren’t aware of the boys’ secret, then prepare for them to force you into vampirism through wine drinking. It’s one of their oldest tricks. Invite their target to hang out, get them comfortable, and peer pressure them into taking a swig. Once the blood slides down your gullet and hits your gut, your fate is sealed, and you’re one of them. It worked with Michael – almost. That didn’t go so well. Since that debacle, their methods have become a bit more aggressive in recent years.

David

If David can’t peer pressure you and trick you with the wine bottle, prepare for him to hold you against your will and starve you. David will keep you locked away in the cave, withholding your food and water for days until you are ravenous and thirsty. Then he’ll offer you the bottle. You drink out of pure desperation to fill your aching stomach, nearly devouring the entire bottle of his blood. Consuming so much overwhelms your weak and fragile state, causing you to drop dead on the spot from a heart attack, but days later, you wake in his arms, immortal and bound to him for eternity. You’ll never escape him now.

Dwayne

Dwayne will use his powers to force you to drink, but he’ll try to make it as pleasant as possible. Ever the hopeless romantic, Dwayne will take you to a lovely restaurant and treat you like a Queen by wining and dining you. But the wining part is the caveat. Remember, Dwayne knows best, so when he suggests that you become a vampire during dinner, he’s not really suggesting it. He’s telling you that you will become a vampire, and you’re becoming one TONIGHT. When you try to run, the chocolate will fade from his irises, leaving only red-orange as his mind ensnares yours. Slicing his wrist with a clawed finger, he will bleed into a wine glass, filling it to the brim with his blood. A single tear escapes your eye as his thrall forces you to drink, but your mental anguish doesn’t last long. You become dizzy from the blood’s effects and faint shortly after. He carries you back to the cave and slips into bed with you, cuddling and whispering sweet nothings in your ear as your humanity is destroyed. When you wake, you’ll be his baby doll forever; he'll take excellent care of you.

Marko

Marko will drain you. He’s a sneaky little gremlin and will wait until you’re vulnerable and comfortable in his presence. You could be watching a movie or simply cuddling after sex when he’ll go from nuzzling your neck to clamping down on it. You wiggle and squeal in pain, tears in your eyes, as you beg the love of your life to spare you. Your agony only turns him on, though; he doesn’t stop. He drains you within an inch of your life, leaving you too weak to fight back as he bites into his wrist and bleeds into your mouth. Suffering from blood loss, you involuntarily choke down his immortal essence as you gasp for air. You die in his arms, and his blood corrupts you from the inside out. When you wake, you’ll be forced to endure pain at his hands forever – lovingly, of course.

GIF by LostHavenMine

Paul

Paul wants your turning to be enjoyable – for himself and YOU, so he turns you during sex. He throws the boys out of the cave for the night and puts the moves on you. After whispering sweet nothings in your ear, plus some heavy petting, Paul goes down on you. He eats your pussy like a man starved, blessing you with mind blowing pleasure. You’re so blissed out from euphoria you don’t feel him pause to tear into your inner thigh. Paul drains your blood as he fingers you, keeping you on the cusp of orgasm as you reach the brink of death. Biting into his wrist, he fills his mouth with his own blood, forcing it down your throat as you babble and wheeze. He spoons you while you die; he feels awful for tricking you, but he’ll make it up to you when you wake up.

The Pack

The boys have no qualms about tag-teaming you. They work well as a unit when hunting, after all. Before they attack, they’ll invite you to the cave, watch some Netflix with you, feed you, and wait until you’re relaxed and comfortable – then they’ll pounce. You struggle feebly, but they easily overpower you, Paul and Dwayne holding you down while David parts your lips with nimble gloved fingers. Marko will eagerly pour their blood down your throat, manically smiling as you cough and choke it down when David pinches your nose, sealing your fate.

[A/n] If you're interested in reading the inspiration for these headcanons, check out my Master List here.

Taglist: @6lostgirl6 @misslavenderlady @britany1997 @wowisksksj

𓇼𓈒 The lost boys Incorrect Quotes

David: And now for the last trial *dramatic pause* the claw!

Paul: *gasp* David no, that's to hard for them.

Marko: Yeah man I don't think they can do it.

David: Shut it! Are you prepared Y/n? For the last trial before joining us in the immortal life?

Y/n: Yes

{Many nights after}

Dwayne: Jesus Y/n! You look like a mess.

Y/n: I haven't sleep in five days, I've been searching and trying the best ways to get a freaking plushie out of this fucking machine BUT NOTHING WORKS. *kicks the machine*

Dwayne: I'll get you one but only if you promise to get me that book I've been wanting.

Y/n: Yes! I'll do anything you want just pull out one of this little shits for me.

Dwayne: *gets a plushie for them and hand it over* Now about that 'do anything I wanted' thing you talked about...

(Not my gif)

GUYS HE SPITS IN THIS AND IS DROOLING DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE IT?!

WHY. WHY IS IT HOT?!