Something Is Missing (pt.I) | Jay Halstead

Something Is Missing (pt.I) | Jay Halstead

It’s part 1 of upcoming series. It based on my book, which is not finished yet so I thought that making it as little series will be better. The series will be something about 5-10 parts long and  I’ll update probably on weekends, but that can change. I’ll let you guys know. I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Reader is Jay’s partner not only in work, but in private life. She has a complicated past and now she’s finding out things that she wouldn’t know.

Pairing: Reader x Jay Halstead / One Chicago

Author’s note: Requests are open.

The longest night in your life, or maybe just one of them. Struggling with breathing, and this awful feeling of not knowing where you are.

It was getting darker, everything seemed so strange. You heard a loud gunshot, scream and then nothing. Just silence, like at normal night. But you perfectly knew that feeling. It was haunting you days and nights, till you finally give up on sleep.

But it was only a bad dream. You woke up immediately, couldn’t catch a breath, tears streaming down your face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” you sat on your bed, when you felt a touch on your arm. You were scared, that’s why you jumped a little when you felt it. Your eyes followed the hand, to meet your husband’s eyes. Jay was rubbing his face with the other hand, to make him more awake.

“I can’t sleep, sorry for waking you up. I’ll get some water.” he smiled at you and kissed your cheek. You didn’t want him to know what’s on your mind, so that’s why you went to the kitchen and just broke down in tears. You felt so tired and work was just in next 2 hours. Coffee was the perfect match for you for months.

It was 5am, Jay has set his alarm at 5:15, you had only 15 minutes to make you feel more alive.

“Good morning Chicago! Today…” the echo of radio went through the living room. You made coffee for you and of course Jay. He get out of bed right after you and went to take a shower. You were so thankful that he didn’t see you like this. Even if you were married, you wouldn’t him to know some things about you.

He saw this pain in your eyes, but you couldn’t show him how much afraid you are. It’s not a time, it’s not a place to show your emotions. Just not right now.

“You should go back to sleep baby as you said you’re not going to work today” he took the coffee you made and looked at you. He wanted you to take some time and finally rest. To be honest, you thought that you’re dealing with this whole thing by your own, but the truth is, Jay knew about everything. He knew about your past, your biggest fear and memories.

“Oh no, I’m going to work. I changed my mind and asked Voight if that’s okay. He agreed.” Jay put his coffee on the table and sat next to you. He pulled you into his lap and kissed you deeply.

“I didn’t think you’ll love to work with me that much after our wedding, that’s nice.” he smiled at you. God, you couldn’t tell how much you love this guy. He know you for so long, almost 8 years. He’s been there for you in the hardest times in your life. “I was thinking, maybe we should go somewhere tonight? Have a dinner together like the old times?” he asked.

“Sure. 8pm? We can ask Kim and Adam if they want to go with us.”

“I’ll ask them. Let’s go to make some breakfast.”

“Okay guys, we’ve got a new case. Already, we have 3 children missing and 2 womens killed. One of them, thank god, is alive and she saw that guys who took her kid, she hide so that’s why she’s still with us. They took her kid when he was asleep, we don’t know where he is now, but we need to find them, every single one.

“Wait, so you’re telling us that this bastard is killing their moms? Just like that? What the hell.” Adam almost yelled. This case was the hard one, every member of Intelligence took it very very personal.

Jay looked at me and showed with his head to follow him into a break room. He seems serious and kinda nervous

“What’s going on, everything is okay?” he gave you dozen papers. You looked at him confused, because you’ve already got yours, as Voight gave it to everyone. You opened it and saw your foster family’s informations.

“What is that? I told you to not take this case, it’s too personal for me.”

“They asked me Y/N and I couldn’t say no, they’re your family, they raised you.” Jay was angry at this point. He knew that taking this case can be painful for you, but at the same time he just wanted to help.

“But maybe I don’t want this Jay. I don’t want to know who my real parents are, I don’t want to see them.”  you gave him papers and stormed out of the break room. You thought that he crossed the line. First of all, it wasn’t a case for Intelligence, it wasn’t something that you usually do. Second of all, why your parents are looking for you right now? After all these years? It’s not the right time you thought.

Jay followed you to your desk and sat in front of you, giving you a cup of coffee.

“Look, I’m sorry. Really. But don’t you have that feeling, like you need to meet them? Or even know who they are?”

“If this is that important to them, they should have put their names in adoption files, but they didn’t. It’s been 20 years, they should have moved on like I did.”

“Okay, like you say. I’ll give up, but please think about it.”

If You Don’t I Will

Word count: 3.3k

JJ Maybank x Reader : showing jj subtle ways of how you care for him and John B is tired of him not seeing it

A/N: I wrote another JJ thing bc im a simp and I love him and this was also another idea thats been floating around. Fluff is you squint but you dont need to squint hard, next will def be angst bc I live for it Xx

 masterlist

*not my gif full credit to owner*

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Just woke up to 100 followers and I cannot thank you all enough! I didn't expect people to like my ideas this much and I have you lovelies to thank! What would you like to see as a celebration? I'm open to ideas! Again, thank you all so much for 100 freaking followers!!!

Best Shot - Part 4

Warnings: lotta angst, poor medical description, tooth rotting fluff

Word Count: 1519

A/N - There is some descriptive writing about being awake during surgery. This scene will take place in italics. If scenes like this make you squeamish, skip past the italicized part. 

Prologue - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 5 (finale)

-~- 

He could hear your screams from the waiting room, making more tears fall with each tortured yelp. Why couldn’t they just sedate you? Give you some kind of pain management? 

As if some other worldly power heard him, your echoes of pain no longer bounced towards him. Jay’s cries turned to sobs, his hands grasped so tight in front of his face his knuckles were white. Ruzek gently clapped his shoulder, along with the rest of the squad that surrounded the lone Halstead.

“She’s a fighter, Jay. I’m sure she’s okay,” he mumbles, trying to make the best of a bad situation. 

Jay wishes with everything he has that Adam was right. That Rhodes had just put you under to spare you the pain. But there was a small voice, like a demon on his shoulder, saying that you had left him. That you were gone. 

So as soon as Will entered the waiting area, covered in your blood, he held his breath. Everyone that was there for you did. When Will sat beside his brother, tears began to form in preparation for the worst.  

“The, uh,” Will sighs. “The bullet was through and through. Only nicked a few arteries and Dr. Rhodes is stitching up the arteries right now. She might scream some more because she refused sedation.”

“Wait, without sedation? Why didn’t she want sedation?” Jay asks quickly.

“That’s something you’ll have to ask her once we move her up into recovery.” 

“When can I see her?” Jay says while wiping what was left of his tears. 

“Well, Natalie just has a few more tests to run after the surgery and then I’ll take you to her.” Will says while standing up. “She got really lucky, more then you know right now.”

Once he walks away, the entire district was in a kerfuffle over Will’s vagueness about your refusal of sedation. 

“Who does he think he is? Sherlock Holmes? We deserve to know.” Ruzek says to the group. 

“Yeah, well it’s obvious she didn’t want us to know something.” Jay snaps.

The whole room fell silent. 

-(Y/N)’s POV-

The bounce from the stretcher sent pain racing through our abdomen, waking you up from your blood loss induced sleep. Once your eyes opened, you saw tears racing down Jay’s face as he sat on the ambo. You tried to sit up, tried to get to him and tell him you were okay. But the pain and a hand on your chest was a gruesome reminder. 

“Let’s get 100 milligrams of Fentanyl in her stat and a bedside ultrasound,” Connor says as he wheels you into the trauma room. 

“On my count. 1, 2, 3,” 

Shaky hands lift your back board and lay you on the bed. All you can think to do is scream as your wound is hit multiple times in the tussle. Your vest is removed and your shirt is cut off swiftly with scissors. Through your blurry vision, you see Will and another doctor enter, gloves at the ready. The women takes the ultrasound wand from Connor as Will tries to place in an iv in your arm.

“Bullet is through and through,” Connor says.

“No free fluid in the belly,” the other doctor says before moving the wand lower. “Wait, hold the fentanyl.”

“Natalie, she needs it.” Will says as you feel a needle pierce your skin, adding onto the pile of pain your body was vibrating from.

“Ms. (Y/L/N), did you know you were pregnant?”

“No, no fucking way,” you mumble as you shake harder, only increasing your pain. 

“Alright, (Y/N),” you hear Connor say. Turning your head, you can see the worry in his eyes.

“You are pregnant. Now I can give you a lower dose of fentanyl and I can get you under mild anesthesia. But I need to repair your wound or you and the baby will die.” 

Everything begins to blur around you, but one thing stands out through the fog. You were going to protect your baby no matter what. 

“Give me the lowest dose you can give me,” you whimper. “No sedation.”

“(Y/N)-”

“You heard me Connor!” you say as the pain spreads up, making it feel like you can’t breathe.

“Alright, call my team and take her to the Hybrid OR. Natalie, scrub in, I need you to keep an eye on that fetus.” 

Connor and Natalie disappear out of the room as Will sticks you with yet another needle. Quickly, he wheels you in your bed into the OR. With the help of some nurses, he gets you on the operating table. 

“Do you want me to tell Jay?” he asks.

“No,” you say while swallowing back whatever was left in your mouth. Will simply nods and leaves the room as Natalie and Connor enter.

“Alright, (Y/N), this is going to hurt but I need you to stay as still as possible. If you flinch and I knick another artery it’s game over for you two.” he says to, preparing what he needed to begin. 

All you could do was nod, the pain and exhaustion beginning to overtake your already weak and fragile body. 

That’s when you felt the first cut.

Searing pain on top of what already was unbearable spreads across your skin like fire ants on the hunt. You scream out, the only option you have as you force your body to stay as still as possible. 

“(Y/N), the baby’s heart rate is increasing because of the pain. It’s safer for both of you to go under light sedation. I promise it won’t hurt it.” Natalie says to you, her worried eyes peering through into your soul.

You can only nod with a sob as Natalie gets to work. At the same time yet another needle pierces your skin, you feel cold metal digging into your chest. You’re out of energy to scream, all you can do is cry, ensuring your chest doesn’t bounce with each passing sob. 

As you watch the needle disappear into your chest cavity, you prepare yourself to feel the pain once more. Thanks to the sedation, you finally didn’t feel a thing, but your body stayed tensed up as always. 

After about a half an hour, you were closed up and waiting to be transferred to the recovery room. Connor sits beside you in the tiny ER room, his cap and mask in hand as he looks at you. 

“Is it mine?” 

Your breath hitches in your throat. What if it was? Back there, you automatically thought that the baby belonged to Jay, failing to remember about your adventures with Connor. 

“I don’t know,” you croak. “If it is?”

“That’s up to you.”

You sigh to the amount your chest lets you. Things were finally right with Jay, you were in love and happy. Of course this happens now, something to take your happiness away. 

“Dr. Rhodes? Can I have a moment with (Y/N)?” you hear Natalie say from the entrance to the cramped room. 

“Yeah,” Connor says before standing up. “Just keep me updated.” 

Natalie only nods as he leaves, you chuckling at her curtness towards him. She looks towards you and smiles, pulling the ultrasound machine over once more. 

“Really? Him?” she says teasingly. You keep your chuckles soft to avoid more pain, but through your exhaustion you smile. 

“What can I say? He was available.” 

Looking down at her hand, you spot a ring on her finger, the one Jay had shown you many times on the anniversary of his Mom’s death. The one Will had taken for his special person.

“You’re Will’s fiancée?” you ask as you watch her hit a few buttons on the machine beside you two.

“Yeah, you must be Jay’s best friend then.” she replies before gently lifting up your gown. 

“Not so much anymore,” you say with a bit of glum. 

“I’m sure the baby won’t get in the way,” she reassures. 

“That’s no-”

You’re interrupted by the sound of your baby’s heartbeat. Uncontrollable tears spring to your eyes once she turns the screen for you to see your tiny blip. Gently, you lay a hand over your mouth to hide your smile, not believing that there was another human inside you that somehow, you would do anything for already. 

“The baby looks completely healthy, despite everything. They look to be about 7 weeks along.” Natalie says to you with a smile.

You run a hand through your hair, quickly doing the math in your head. The last time you and Connor slept together was well over 7 weeks at that point. You and Jay...well. 

“It’s not Connor’s.” you reply with a soft sigh in relief. 

With a smirk, Natalie sends a few photos to be printed before cleaning you up and taking you up to recovery. Once she gets you set up, ensuring everything was in working order, she walks towards the doorway. Before she leaves, she turns back towards you. 

“Do you want me to bring Jay up?” she asks. 

You nod softly as you gently lay a shaking hand on your abdomen. It was time for your blip to me it’s daddy. 

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feels like we only go backwards (4)

gif credit: @anakin-skywalker

summary: Y/n grows distant after the kegger, leaving everyone in the midst of drama without even knowing it.

warnings: um none i can think of? let me know if there are though!

word count: 5.5k

a/n: as always let me know what you think and let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the taglist! strikethrough means tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you :(

part one! part two! part three!

IGNORING THE CRAMPS HE WAS GETTING, Pope smashed his fingers against the Playstation controller. 

He looked at Y/n from the corner of his eye, taking in her slouched figure as her tongue began to peek out of the side of her mouth. He decided against giving her a push so he could win - he wasn’t even sure it would work. She might have been too focused. Pope quickly glanced at the clock. It was almost noon. He watched his health bar get lower but did nothing to fix it besides having an abundant amount of health kits in his pack. Y/n let out a victory shout after she shot the fatal blow that killed Pope’s character. 

“HA!” she gloated, “you ready to get your ass beat again, Heyward?” 

Pope shook his head, moving to plug the controller up so it could charge, 

“Nah, I have to meet the pogues soon,” 

Pope watched her face drop, her sad eyes glued to him as he walked around his room to gather his things. 

“Oh, yeah, for sure,” her dejected tone quickly changed to something much lighter, “have fun!” 

It alarmed Pope just how good she was at hiding her emotions. He sent her a look as he stopped packing, maneuvering so he was looking straight at her,

“Are you sure you don’t want to come? Everybody misses you, they ask about you all the time.” 

Keep reading

Best Shot - Part 2

Warnings: mild blood and gore, mentions of death, shooting scene, some harsh angst, mentions of sexuality (no smut), swearing

Word Count: 1325

Prologue - Part 1 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 (finale)

-~- 

Here’s the plan. Burgess and Ruzek had gotten in contact with one of Quentin’s sellers. Jay would go undercover as a buyer, inquiring about buying one of the girls. He was to talk to Quentin about the specific Jane Doe to try and locate the rest of the girls that the trafficker had hidden. Once there was enough information, Jay would position Quentin into a specific spot where you could knock him with a bullet.

That’s where you were stationed now, watching as Jay spoke with Quentin, his hands in his pockets. You trailed the duo through the scope of your sniper, watching each step with your finger ready to fire. Suddenly, you see Quentin reach behind him and pull a gun on Jay. He had been compromised. Only problem was, Jay was in front of Quentin, blocking your shot.

“(Y/L/N), do you have a clear shot?” Voight’s voice echoes in your ear.

“Almost, I just need Jay to move a little bit to the left.”

“No, it’s too risky, don’t take the shot. Do you hear me, (Y/L/N)? Do not take that shot!” 

Quentin steps closer to Jay, shakily adding pressure to the trigger of his own gun.

“Sir! He’s going to fire on Jay, this is my only chance!” you say into your comms.

You inhale, your finger slowly beginning to add pressure to the trigger. A sigh reverberates in your ear.

“Do it.”

Jay moves to the side just in time for you to exhale, sending a bullet narrowly close to Jay’s head but a dead hit in Quentin’s shoulder. The offender is shot to the floor, sending blood everywhere, and Jay quickly disarms him before holding pressure to the wound. 

You quickly pack up your gun and make your way down to the scene. By the time you arrive, Quentin is being loaded into an ambulance with cuffs on his wrists. Laying your case into a squad car, you spot Jay exiting the building. However, when his eyes meet yours. it’s obvious he’s ticked. Storming over to you, he runs a hand through his hair.

“Do you know what you did in there! He was going to give me all the locations of his girls but you shot him!”

“He was just going to kill you after telling you, Jay! I couldn’t let him do that! Voight told me to take the opportunity I had!” 

“Yeah well dying is part of the job description. You got lucky, (Y/L/N). One inch off and it would have been me in that ambulance...”

“So what? You don’t trust my shot anymore?”

“I don’t trust your judgement to keep your feelings out of our work!” 

That was the last straw. You hide your tears and rip off your bulletproof vest, shoving it into Halstead’s chest as your glare daggers at him. 

“Don’t expect me home tonight,” 

And with that, you walk away. Little did you know, the minute those words left Jay’s mouth he was filled with regret. He had hurt the woman he loves the most.

-~- 

“Didn’t expect to see you here tonight, (Y/N).” a familiar voice says from beside you.

Gently slamming the whiskey glass to the bar’s top, you look to see Connor seated beside you fresh from a shift at Med. With a soft, slightly tipsy smile, you wave down the bartender and order a drink for both of you.

“It was a hard case tonight,” you reply.

“Was it the case that was hard or the guy you had to work with?” 

You both take a drink of the hard liquor at the same time, a soft sigh ghosting your lips. Connor and you were friends with benefits, especially after you were hurt by your perspective partners. When Jay told you about him and Erin, you fell into the handsome doctor’s arms. When Robin left Connor to go home, you had to help him sneak out of you and Jay’s apartment the next morning. After Jay asked you about the ring he picked out for Erin, you helped christen Connor’s new apartment. After Ava killed herself in front of him and Jay had pushed you away because of his heartbreak, you and Connor practically didn’t speak for a week. Just sex. 

Because of your many encounters, both of you had grown close as friends. Both of you knew each other’s work and romantic hardships. Without the sex, you guys were close drinking buddies. The bed hopping was an added bonus. A release of anger and frustration from your perspective situations. 

“He kinda made it clear tonight how he felt,” you reply, taking another long sip of the burning liquid. 

“Yeah, that always sucks,” 

“Says you! You’re nothing but a chick magnet!” 

“Hey! I’ve had my fair share of losses,”

Both of you end up in a fit of laughter, sharing drink after drink as the night goes on. Eventually, as the bar begins to close, you find yourself riding to his apartment in his Porsche. His lips upon yours in a drunken frenzy. Your naked selves tangled in his sheets as you sleep the night away.

-~- 

The smell of fresh coffee and scrambled eggs battles the killer hangover headache that greets you when your eyes open up. Where Connor always slept is empty, but he had laid one of his shirts there for you to wear when your body decided it was time to fight your hangover. With a soft smirk, you put it on and walk out to Connor’s kitchen. 

“Thank god for days off,” you say as you grab a mug from the cupboard.

“No such luck for me, I got a surgery in an hour.” Connor replies as he finishes cooking. 

“Damn, what a shame.” you say as you steal a piece of cheese from beside Connor, earning a slap on the hand and a smirk. 

“Hey! That’s meant to go in the eggs, not your mouth.”

“There are a lot of things that can go in my mouth, Dr. Rhodes” you say with a wink.

A knock on the door reverberates in the semi - empty apartment as Connor hands you the plate of eggs. He walks out to answer it, leaving you to eat and enjoy the gracious sip of coffee. Your little moment is interrupted when you hear Jay’s voice raising. 

Quickly putting your meal down, you rush over to the front door. Jay hasn’t changed from last night but to you, that didn’t matter. He still made the feeling of butterflies rise into your stomach.

“What are you doing here?” you ask as you back Connor away from the door.

“You weren’t answering my calls or texts, I thought something had happened,” he replies, not noticing Connor’s shirt on you.

“Yeah, you being a dick happened, Jay.”

“Look, I’m sorry, (Y/N).” 

That’s when he notices Connor’s shirt on you, the hickies from last nights events making anger fill his eyes.

“But I can see you had other plans...” he growls.

“What does it matter to you who I sleep with?! Jay for fucks sake, ever since Erin left you act like you own me! But you don’t! You chose her over me!”

Tears fill your eyes as realization fills his. 

“I’ll pick up what I need from the apartment later on. I can’t do this anymore, Halstead.”

You slam the door as tears race down your face like race cars on a track. Holding a hand on your mouth, you muffle your cries as your free hand holds onto your torso. Gently, Connor pulls you into a hug, giving you the comfort you needed but from the wrong guy. 

“I’ll help you get what you need and you can crash with me.”

With a soft nod, you wrap your arms around him tightly. 

Not once had you missed a shot in the past 10 years. But here you were.

You had missed your shot with Jay.

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