Still Thinking About The Fact That The Main Character Of My Novel-in-progress Is Fat, And When I Wrote

Still thinking about the fact that the main character of my novel-in-progress is fat, and when I wrote a throwaway line with a brief mention of him working out, multiple women in one of my writing groups complained, “But I thought he was overweight.”

Hello????? Enough with the myth that fat people are all sedentary! I’ve seen fat ballerinas, fat strongmen, fat baseball players, fat martial artists, and more. I have personally dated strong, active fat men.

I’ve also dated people of various body types who didn’t work out. Guess what?? Not only would you be unable to guess which of my exes worked out and which didn’t based on their body types, it never fucking mattered. Whether they worked out or not, it changed nothing about their character, our relationship, or how much I cared about them.

Words like “fat” and “thin” are just neutral descriptors of a person’s appearance–they don’t dictate one’s health, beauty, morality, capacity to love and be loved, or anything else. And for the record? Not only does my fat MC work out in my book, he also gets the girl who is chased by many, and when he expresses his self-consciousness about his body, she’s shocked that he doesn’t realize how sexy he is and how much she wants him. I’ve had the exact same conversation IRL with people I’ve dated–people who were so blinded by our fatphobic society that they didn’t realize how much I adored every part of them, inside and out. People who didn’t realize that I truly didn’t give a shit how much they weighed, I just wanted them.

Of course, my opinion can’t change someone else’s self-perception, because self-confidence isn’t something a person simply hands to you. Nor should outside approval ever matter more than your own self-acceptance (that being said, if someone who claims to care about you is preoccupied with your physical appearance, their opinions matter in that their opinions make them assholes and you should ditch ‘em. You are SO much more than your physical form).

But it’s devastating to see someone who means the world to you accept less of your love than they deserve, purely because of their weight. As if the shape of their body could ever change the shape of their soul.

So, yeah. FUCK anyone who thinks any given fat person can’t be just as attractive, smart, funny, kind, hard-working, desirable, charismatic, and successful as any given thin person. FUCK the myth that fat people don’t work out, and more importantly, FUCK any misconception that your level of exercise has any bearing on who you are as a person. FUCK the fact that protagonists in media are virtually always thin when fat people equally deserve compassionate, balanced representation. And of course, as always,

-’*~ fuck fatphobia ~*’-

-Mod Lia

Just beautiful 😘🥰

❤

it’s that time of year again, and i just wanted to share some things that are constantly on my mind because of the work i do (that many of you may not know of, because i am nothing if not a closed book).

as of 2020, the diet industry—which profits off creating insecurities in people and then selling them the “solution”—is worth 288.25 billion dollars. one of its main strategies is to create plans that are designed to fail to keep people coming back, and paying again, all the while blaming the individual for their “lack of willpower”.

to date, there has been no study that has shown that significant weight loss is sustainable long term (>5 years). there is, however, a plethora of evidence that healthful behaviors increase longevity and quality of life irrespective of weight.

the bmi is racist and eugenicist, created by a man who was a mathematician, astronomer, and sociologist—note the lack of a medical qualification. every few years, insurance companies change the numbers so more people will fit into the “overweight” category and are forced to pay more for their health care.

hating your body doesn’t improve your life, but it does put an exorbitant amount of money in the pockets of people who profit off your misery.

you don’t need to put “losing weight” on your new year’s resolution list. you don’t ever need to lose weight. your value as a human being doesn’t decrease the higher your weight is. there is no weight at which someone is no longer a person, no longer deserving of basic rights, respect, love, care, and a full and happy life.

health is not a moral obligation, nor is it realistically attainable for many people. you are no lesser if physical health is not on your priority list. you are allowed, for the rest of your life, to prioritize other things, whether that’s mental health, a career, or hedonism. none of that makes someone bad, stupid, or unworthy.

2020 has been hard enough, and there is no guarantee the future won’t be just as hard, or even harder. you don’t need to add self-loathing to that.

the kindness we want the world to have more of has got to extend to yourself, too.

happy new year. 🤍

😍🥰