I've Endured, Now What?

I've Endured, Now What?

Blue Iris - Mary Oliver / So This Is All I Will Ever Be? - Fatima Aamer Bilal / Vive, Vive - Traci Brimhall

Weiner dog wearing armor at the Michigan Renaissance Festival (2002)

PROMPTS FOR THE ROMANCE OF HANDS & TOUCH *  include 'reverse' for the reversal of the prompt

[ table ] sender reaches for receiver's hand under the table

[ knowing ] sender has been holding receiver's hand all this time without realizing it and hurries to let go

[ cling ] sender scrambles to grab receiver's hand in a hasty situation

[ tangle ] sender carefully knots their fingers with receiver's

[ thumb ] sender starts gently caressing receiver's knuckles with their thumb

[ squeeze ] sender reassures receiver with a squeeze of their hand

[ aligned ] sender lays their hand flat against receivers, lining up every digit to compare sizes

[ pinky ] sender hooks their pinky finger with receiver's

[ ring ] sender admires a ring on receiver's hand

[ desperate ] sender is in pain and squeezes tightly to receiver's hand to channel the agony elsewhere

[ let go ] after holding onto receiver's hand for a while, sender finally, reluctantly releases their grip

[ swing ] sender holds receiver's hand and starts swinging their hands back and forth in a playful way

[ promise ] sender performs a pinky promise with receiver

[ piano ] sender begins tapping their fingers along receiver's back like they're playing a piano

[ shoulder ] sender sets a hand on receiver's shoulder and leaves it there

[ strand ] sender reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind receiver's ear

[ fix ] sender gently fixes receiver's hair

[ boop ] sender lightly taps the tip of receiver's nose

[ clean ] after eating, sender reaches up to clean something off receiver's face

[ napkin ] sender uses a napkin to tidy receiver's face

[ chin ] sender takes receiver's chin between their fingers and holds it

[ lips ] in the midst of an intimate exchange, sender smooths their thumb back and forth over receiver's lips

[ play ] sender plays with receiver's hair

[ knead ] sender gives receiver a much needed shoulder massage

[ accidental ] sender and receiver reach for the same thing and their fingers brush unintentionally

[ pat ] sender pats the top of receiver's head

[ thigh ] sender begins caressing along the receiver's thigh

[ smooth ] sender strokes up and down across the receiver's arm

[ comfortable ] sender picks the receiver's legs up and drapes them over their lap

[ straddle ] sender guides the receiver over and coaxes them fully onto their lap

[ shirt ] sender slips a hand up the receiver's shirt

[ hem ] sender plays with the hem of receiver's shirt

[ loop ] while standing behind the receiver, the sender hooks a finger in the belt loop of their trousers

[ pocket ] sender slides a hand into receiver's back pocket

[ guide ] sender uses both of their hands to guide the receiver into a kiss

[ push ] in the midst of a dangerous situation, the sender pushes the receiver out of harm's way

[ shield ] the sender drags receiver behind them to keep them safe

[ remind ] sender sets their hands on both sides of receiver's face and tries to get them to look at them directly

[ pressure ] sender sets a hand on the small of receiver's back

[ neck ] sender sets a hand around the base of receiver's neck and gingerly kneads the muscles there

[ braid ] standing behind the receiver, sender starts braiding their hair

[ undo ] sender takes receiver's hair out of their updo/ponytail

[ clasp ] sender helps receiver put on a necklace

[ zip ] sender assists receiver in zipping up or taking off a difficult piece of clothing

[ wave ] sender waves goodbye to receiver for the very last time

[ both ] sender takes both of receiver's hands in their own and guides them close to one another

[ hug ] sender slides both arms around receiver and clings to them

[ handshake ] sender and receiver shake hands and hold on to each other a little longer than intended

[ behind ] sender hugs receiver from behind and tucks against their body

[ sleep ] sender is asleep and reaches for receiver in the middle of the night

[ spoon ] while spooning, sender tangles their hands with receiver

[ tap ] sender appears behind receiver and taps their shoulder to let them know they're standing there

[ patch ] sender patches up a wound on receiver's body

[ propose ] after a successful proposal, sender slides the engagement ring onto receiver's finger

[ paint ] sender applies body paint to receiver's nude form

[ undress ] sender takes their time removing receiver's clothes piece by piece

[ cover ] sender shoves a hand over receiver's eyes, preventing them from witnessing a terrible sight

[ pillow ] sender pats the pillow next to them, encouraging receiver to climb in bed beside them

[ gift ] sender offers a wrapped present out to the receiver

i have the aggressive need to share that i have one song on my ella and the prince playlist and its please please please thank you

every moment that ella can spend with the grizzwald sisters is a moment ella feels this certain rush of relief that little else can. they are alive- she knows they are alive, but it is only when they are near that she fully believes it. whenever they come, she clings to any moment she can spend with them, but that doesn’t mean that every moment spent in their company is carefree.

one moment the pair ride through the woods around the castle, chatting, catching up, the next a noise, something moving, a whisper of the wind disguises itself as some sinister threat and sends ella ashmore’s steed galloping off alone to protect on instinct, riding and riding until she reaches the glowering towers and finding nothing- not even a bird. it was just a noise…

meeting justine halfway, ella is about to explain when @playbarbies frets “  yes.  i am telling you what to do.  i’m telling you not to pull something like that again because—  ‘cause fucking hell.  i care about you.  okay? ” and ella can only blink in surprise.

justine is the sister that ella can only imagine having, her kindness and protectiveness for even her after everything that both her and her sister have been through is something that ella cannot begin to understand, no matter how she tries. but she can hear. and that simple four letter word has something inside of her and has her swallowing the defense that is on the tip of her tongue.

for a long moment, ella can only stare at justine as she tries to process the weight of the word echoing in her head. of course, she knew it deep down, justine and lucinda have been in her life for as long as she can remember- even years spent away from each other, the memories of them

" ... i thought- " but again the protest dies on her lips as she instead shakes her head, instead moving so to hold justine's hand and squeeze it in hopes to assure and calm the other. " i did not mean to worry you. ”

CONFRONTATIONS

“  you have to talk to someone,  eventually.  it doesn’t have to be me,  but.  you need to.  ”

“   i’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on.  ”

“  you may like to pretend,  but i don’t.  something is wrong and you’re hiding it from me.  ”

“  you can’t even say that and look me in the eyes.  you’re clearly lying.  just tell me the truth.  ”

“  everyone else might be buying it,  but i don’t.  what’s wrong?  ”

“  you’re not fine.  you’re clearly not fine.  and you don’t have to keep saying that you are.  ” 

“  you can talk to me,  you know.  whatever you have to say,  i’m not gonna judge you or do anything.  i just want to listen.  ”

“  you can’t run away from this forever.  ”

“  i can’t keep acting like i don’t see something is wrong with you.  ”

“  you keep acting like if you let down your guard the world will end.  ”

“  stop brushing me off.  i know something is going on.  ”

“  hey— look at me.  you can talk to me.  ”

“  i don’t know if you think you’re being strong or protecting me,  but i don’t need you to keep painting on smiles when you’re clearly upset.  ”

“  why don’t you trust me enough to let me in?  ”

“  you think if you run around taking care of everyone else,  no one will notice you’re falling apart.  ”

“  you keep acting like you’re looking for an excuse to leave.  ”

“  stop.  just stop trying to avoid this.  shutting me out isn’t going to fix the problem.  ”

“  you do realize you don’t have to do this alone right?  ”

“  you think you’re handling this on your own but you’re not.  that’s not how it works when the people who care about you can see you’re suffering but refusing to ask for help.  ”

“  you don’t get a choice this time.  i’m helping you.  ”

“  why do you keep lying to me like i don’t know ever time you try it?  ”

“  i don’t know why you seem to think you have to hide your pain.  ”  

“  i don’t know why you thought i wasn’t going to notice.  but i see right through you.  ” 

“  i know you’re having nightmares again.  ”

“  why are you acting like this?  ”

“  don’t change the subject.  i saw you crying.  ”  

“  you fucked it up.  ”

“  what the hell is wrong with you?  ”

“  just tell me what the fuck the problem is?  ”

“  did you just flinch away from me?  ”

“  i trusted you. why can’t you trust me too?  ”