So?-Alfie Solomons X Reader
So?-Alfie Solomons x Reader

(GIF credit to @tommyshhelby)
Tags: @captivatedbycillianmurphy @bloodorangemoonlight @haphazardhufflepuff @mzcrazy2
Requested by anonymous: ‘Oh this is a magnificent blog!I see you write for Peaky Blinders,is Alfie available?If yes,can I get something with him and his wife who is basically Addams family member and so is completely fine with Alfie and his special brand of crazy because she is her own brand of chaos?As in she really doesn’t understand that humans usually aren’t capable of just shrugging of stab wounds or walking in a skin tight dress in middle of winter nonchalantly,Alfie of course doesn’t give a damn,thank you!’
Characters: Alfie Solomons x Reader
Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name
Warnings: Swearing, violence, guns, knives, blood, sexual talk, fluff
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If you ever muttered the name (Y/N) Solomons, you had better be saying something very nice about her, otherwise, you were in for trouble. Everyone knew her infamous husband, and he was insane. Alfie also knew when someone was bad mouthing his Mrs, he had his ways, as well as dealing with the pricks who had decided to open their mouths in the first place.
(Y/N) was strolling around the shops, not an unusual site to see her (or her bodyguards), knowing that everyone was staring at her attire. She opted for the more…fitting dresses, no matter what weather it was. Middle of summer? She was nice and cool, no sweat in site. Middle of winter? Throw a coat on. She was proud of her figure, she was gong to flaunt what she had. Life was too short and women were too oppressed.
“Mrs Solomons is on her way Alfie.” Ollie informed his boss as he entered the office.
Alfie didn’t look up from his papers.“Alright.”
Ollie hesitated before speaking again.“She’s…she’s not in the greatest of moods.”
This made Alfie look up, his glasses perching on the edge of his nose.“Oh?”
“Yeah, um…I think something happened whilst she was shopping.”
“She probably dealt with it. I’m sure there’s a poor fella out there who’s received a smack from her.”
“Want to send some men down there, see if we can find out what happened?”
“Let’s see what she says first. But stand by.”
Ollie nodded, opening the door to leave which revealed (Y/N) storming down the room towards them. She moved as fast as she could in her heels and tight dress, handbag swinging on her elbow, coat billowing out behind her. The workers made sure to look away from her. A few men had been caught gawking at her, and unsurprisingly, they had been punished. (Y/N) was Alfie’s, though she didn’t belong to him mind, she was a free woman; but every spouse has a feeling of protection over the one they love, even if that person can easily defend them self with just a pocket knife.
“Ah, my dearest.” Alfie greeted as (Y/N) stomped in. Although it was a lovely nickname, Alfie’s monotone voice would make you think he was being sarcastic.
“I need a new knife Alfie.” she stated as she sat down.
Alfie sent a nod to Ollie, who got the message and ran off to gather his men.
“And why would that be?” Alfie leaned across the desk, resting his elbow on it.
“Because mine is lodged in some fuckers ribs.”
“Oh no,” he pouted,“that was a pretty knife as well.”
“I know!”
“What did he do to deserve that?”
“He was saying bad things about us.”
Alfie stiffened. He could take horrible words from people about himself, but when it came to (Y/N), he didn’t want her to be subjected to that kind of thing.“Ah, right. He got what was coming then, didn’t he?”
She nodded, eyes cast down.
“How come you couldn’t get it back?”
“Because he ran off! I was about to pull it back out but he gripped onto it as he cried out in pain. Then he buggered off.”
“Don’t be upset,” he stood, slowly rounding the desk to perch on it in front of his wife,“I can get you another one if Ollie can’t find the bastard.”
“But that one was special. You got that for me on our first wedding anniversary.”
“Fuck I did, didn’t I?”
“It was so beautiful. The gems were lovely, especially when they hit the light. I hope they can get it back. It just sums up our relationship really. But don’t worry if they can’t get it back, don’t punish them.”
He tilted her head up by her chin to look at him.“Whatever you say my love.”
They shared a kiss, lingering for more than a few seconds. (Y/N) smiled as they pulled apart, the corner of Alfie’s lip twitching upwards.
“Can I stay here? I’ll be on my best behaviour.”
“When are you ever on your best fuckin’ behaviour?”
(Y/N) acted as her husbands secretary for the rest of the afternoon. It was like the good old days, before Alfie made the money he did now. She would spend so much time with him, he was always scared to let her out of his sight until he realised he needed to teach her how to defend herself. It was no surprise to him that (Y/N) was a natural with a weapon. She had been in a few brawls growing up (girls knew how to fight with their words until they met (Y/N)), so wasn’t afraid of putting up a fight, or cursing someone out. Mrs Solomons was a powerhouse, she wore her name with pride.
“I’m going to stretch my legs. I don’t understand how you sit here all day.” (Y/N) announced, stretching as she stood.
“It’s called ‘having a fuckin’ job’ love.” he quipped, focusing on his writing.
(Y/N) just rolled her eyes as she left, quietly shutting the door behind her. The only time (Y/N) was calm and dainty was for Alfie’s sake, when he was concentrating or stressed. It was a fun relationship, they were both very smart people, their daily life was never boring for either of them. However, (Y/N) understood who she was marrying, as well as what she was getting herself into. She couldn’t deny that the lifestyle enthralled her, but it was Alfie she wanted and loved.
Strolling through the distillery, (Y/N) smirked at the men who’s head whipped away from her direction. It was nice knowing that she was desired. She had never been the girl all the boys wanted growing up. One boy tried to trick her into thinking he liked her, he was only after one thing (as most men are), so she went along with his charade; when he got a little too handsy and forceful, she innocently pulled out her father’s pistol from her leg holster, loving the terror in his eyes when she gently placed it against his cheek. He pissed himself there and then.
A slither of light coming from a slightly open door caught her eye. It was usually dim in here, someone must have been an idiot and forgot how doors worked. As she approached it, she smelt the familiar smell of smoke, along with hushed chattering. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was happening, and (Y/N) wasn’t happy about it.
Peeking through the crack in the door, she saw three workers smoking in an alleyway. Two were older, possibly in their forties, whereas one of them looked young, around mid-twenties. He also looked unsure as the older men laughed together, taking puffs from their cigarettes calmly, whereas the younger one looked nervous. (Y/N) slipped through the door, smirking with her arms crossed over her chest as their eyes widened in shock.
“M-M-Mrs Solomons.” one breathed out.
“Don’t worry gentlemen.” She said, closing the door behind her.“I need a break too. Mind if I borrow someone’s?”
The two older men instantly grabbed their small boxes of cigarettes, shoving their towards her. It seemed the younger man had been given his too. She kept eye contact with the young boy as she picked a cigarette from each box, one going in her mouth, and one tucked behind her ear. He was clearly panicking, looking at the floor.
(Y/N) chuckled as one man lit her cigarette.“You can look at me you know.”
He hesitated before slowly lifting his head. He still couldn’t keep eye contact for long.
“So, did these two pressure you into coming out here?”
“Mrs Solomons,” one older man started to protest,“we wouldn’t-”
“I wasn’t talking to you.” she snapped without looking at him.“Did they?”
His mouth opened to speak, though clearly he was too scared to snitch on his friends.
“Could you hold this for me dear?”
She held out the cigarette to the lad, who’s shaking fingers managed to grasp it before she swung her fist as hard as she could into one of the older men’s faces. He staggered back, clutching onto his nose as he cried out in pain. (Y/N) grabbed the other man’s shoulders, driving her knee into his stomach, causing his to double over; this gave her the opportunity to push him head first into the stone wall. The young boy flinched at the sound of impact, eyes wide as he saw how calm his boss’ wife was. (Y/N) moved to take back her cigarette when the man with a now broken nose struggled to stand.
“One moment.” she sweetly said, before kicking him in the chest to wind him. He stayed down this time.
The lad was pressed up against the wall, now staring at (Y/N) for fear that he was next to receive a brutal injury. (Y/N) took the cigarette from him, taking her time to take a drag before blowing out the smoke. She could hear the lad’s rapid breathing, making her smile.
“I know they forced you to do this. You wanted to fit in with your co-workers, I understand.” she said.
“Sh-shouldn’t you h-have reported us?”
“How would you learn your lesson? Trust me, you would prefer this to what my husband would do to you.”
“You’re c-c-crazy.”
(Y/N)’s smug looked dropped instantly. Her glare was frightening. The young man knew he had said the wrong thing, it just slipped out in his time of terror. The cigarette in (Y/N)’s fingers dropped to the floor, and she made a statement of squishing it under her heeled shoe.
“Don’t think you’re getting off lightly.”
The young lad had never felt such a sting as she slapped him. It dazed him for a few seconds, trying to not stumble over his own feet when he saw her hand now formed in a fist. He yelled out as he sent an upwards punch to his jaw, causing his teeth to clash together as well as make him bite his own tongue. (Y/N) was glad to see blood draining from his mouth as she turned on her heel, making sure the door slammed open so other employees could see the example.
“Mrs Solomons, are you alright?” Ollie stressed, running up to her.
“Perfectly fine Ollie.” she hummed.
“What happened?”
“They weren’t doing their jobs.”
“Mrs Solomons, you can’t beat up any employee that…” his words trailed off when he saw her frown.“Never mind.”
She continued walking without Ollie back to Alfie’s office. The workers definitely made themselves look busy as she passed. She let out a big sigh as she entered the office, catching Alfie’s attention.
“That didn’t take long.” he commented.
“You’re going to have to find two more employees….maybe three.”
“Why would that be?”
“Caught three of them bunking off. One of them called my crazy. They received their punishments.”
“Oh for fucks sake,” Alfie threw his hands up in the air,“why, why did I miss that?”
“You’re not angry at me?”
“Why would I be fuckin’ angry?”
“Cause you usually like doing that sort of thing.”
“Yeah, but, when your wife is doing it, right, it’s the best thing a husband can watch.”
“The best thing?”
“Well, it’s a close second.”
She was happy with that answer.
“Now,” Alfie opened a drawer in his desk,“look what Ollie found on his travels.”
He produced her beloved knife, glistening despite the low lighting. (Y/N) gasped in delight, gently taking it from Alfie’s hands and studying it as if she had never seen it before.
“Oh, and you cleaned it for me too.” she cooed.
“Course I fuckin’ did. Have to be stupid to give it to you all messy. What was a mess was how you stabbed that man, tut tut my girl.”
(Y/N)’s mouth dropped open.“How dare you?! You best go look at your workers sprawled in the alley, then you can assess my attacks.”
“Or you’re just rusty. I’m sure we can arrange something to-”
“Oh Alfie, if this is your idea of seducing me, you know all you have to do is just throw me on the closest sofa, bed or table and I’ll be ready for you with open legs.”
“Well fuck me then, I think I might stop working for today.”
“Good. Chop chop, I’ll be waiting by the door.”
As (Y/N) swiftly gathered her coat and handbag, slipping the knife inside it, Alfie watched his wife sultry walk away, her hips swaying left to right. Seeing how men turned away only brought on more arousal, knowing no one could touch her, be near her, other than him. He knew he had to get moving, not wanting to agitate his waiting wife. He went to stand before realising, he should probably adjust his trousers.
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local hot topic employee adopts circus bird
legit confused with how battinson would hold up with his soon to be extended family. in the dc comics we see his kids constantly clown on him cause they know he can take it. jason constantly waving his death certificate over bruce’s face? no biggie, he signed that himself. dick getting into an argument with him and calling him every scalding name in the book? bruce cursed like a sailor and probably taught him those. cass retreating into a blanket fort and refusing to speak with him? he’ll wait outside until she cools down to apologize.
but battinson? the man is one minor inconvenience away from a total breakdown all the time. his self esteem is in the dirt, he can’t look anyone in the eye, he doesn’t even know what he’s doing. so imagine his kids trying to assure him he’s doing a great job and him just curled up on the ground.
jason: b, it’s okay. sure i died but now i’m even beefier than you and the government won’t try to make me pay taxes :D
bruce: u have ptsd
jason: so does literally everyone else in this family
steph: wow u know i love your hair how is it holding its shape so well
bruce: i haven’t showered in 8 days
damian: father someone at the gala was looking at your behind and making lewd comments so i removed their eyes for you
bruce:
damian: because i care about you
dick: u know dami maybe some things are better left unsaid
damian: you are absolutely right grayson, how dare i voice my affection verbally. i’m getting soft. father, take these eyeballs and get out of my sight




more older brother teasing from one jason peter todd :')




For that one batman au I made I added some more kids
Bruce got them all in one week
after a month of being tortured by these lil devil's he decided to let them loose on Gotham bcuz why not
Also Jason doesn't die (nobody does) but he IS going through a phase
Alfred thinking he won't have grandkids then seeing Bruce come home with 10 kids
Dick is 15
Jay is 14
Duke Cass Steph r 13
Tim Harper Terry r 12
Helena and Dami r 10