Any Thoughts On Walburga?

any thoughts on walburga? 🤗

Ask was so exciting I had to properly get ready for the day just so I could answer while eating breakfast. Thank you <3

Anyways! I'm sorry but so much of her thoughts just stem from her relationship to Sirius and Regulus. IM SO SORRYYYY

I feel like I should clarify. I'm not, in anyway universe, going to defend her.

The most important thing to me is that I believe the entire Black family did love each other, but they were all fucked over as kids so it never translated properly to the next generation. I definitely think a major cause of Walburga and her relationship with her children stems from postpartum depression that just never got talked about within the family. And I don't think she ever felt forced into her marriage, I think out of everyone in the family, she and Orion got along best (best: they weren't actively trying to do damage to each other). There was kind of an understanding between them that leads to them ignoring each other more so than yk screaming and hurting each other. I do believe it was because they were the closest related ones that were married.

I think with Sirius, it was a feeling of, "Well this doesn't feel as nice as I thought" and she just wasn't given a chance to properly bond before he was sent to China to live with Orion's parents. I do believe she tried, but by the time he was heading into Hogwarts, she just couldn't be around him without being frustrated at everything he was doing, his voice was annoying, and every time he did something there was always the thought of "The audacity of him" and all those feelings leaked into her lessons she would have to teach him which lead to there being more pressure placed in Sirius. But he's her son so she's always going to have this: "I love you, but I don't like you" mindset with him. Walburga would die for Sirius if she could, but she would never talk to Sirius without berating him and harming him in some way. Even in canon, she was pretty sad about him leaving so there was some love between them, it just got fucked over.

Unlike with Sirius, she had Regulus for a little longer before he was taken to China, so there was a bit of a relationship that was formed. Regulus is her golden child. I think in a trans-Regulus situation, there is a sense of "Someone just like me" from Walburga and she loves him for it. But in a cis Regulus situation, I definitely think it would be like a "mama's boy" type of thing where she kinda projects her "ideal husband" onto him (aka emotional incest) (it's disgusting but I can't unsee it honestly). Either way, Walburga would be so much more open to Regulus and there would definitely be an emotional parentification situation which plays into why Regulus wouldn't want to leave the family for the longest time. She was always so much sweeter to Regulus because he listened to her and he made the effort to not fight back against anything because, to Regulus, Walburga was suffering from loneliness, she was lonely and miserable, and her childhood was a mess on it own (once again generational trauma). She makes it clear that she does love both Sirius and Regulus, but only Regulus would've ever hear it. And from Regulus' neglected mind, love would be a good excuse for everything and anything.

She and Orion were never abusive. Just neglectful and scary when angry (but her actions are balanced out in Regulus' head). She had a hard time expressing herself, which was why it's so important to Regulus when she does talk. She's lonely. She's a horrible mother but loves her children. She misses her brothers but hates how Cygnus has turned into their father and how Alphard didn't give two shits about their family (not true, he just knew when something was a lost cause) (I like to think Walburga and Alphard parallel Sirius and Regulus a lot). She had a chance to break the cycle but didn't and it'll haunt her for the rest of her days. She'll spend the rest of her life in Grimmauld wondering what went wrong while ignoring the clear answer. She'll take her last breath and feel robbed of her happy ending and the fruits of her suffering. Also, I do want to add: that she's fully aware she's a terrible mother. It's a highlight of what makes her a terrible person, she's fully aware and doesn't change!

Also, she's definitely the type of mother to brush her kid's hair so far back, slick with no gel type of thing with those painful ass hair ties that have charms on the ends that you would wrap around the ponytail and smack your nails so HARD ITS FUCKING HURTS OMG. I just know when she was doing Regulus and Sirius' hair they were crying out on the inside.

Hey there! Thoughts on erotic cannibalism?

Do you even have to ask?? I love erotic cannibalism. I love it in paintings, in drawings, in poems, in prose, as just a lingering presence in the subtext, I love it all. I wrote that evanreg fic trying to capture the essence but it’s not as erotic since I’m Aroace and wanted some of my own rep in queer platonic form, albeit completely unconventionally because you know cannibalism.

But dear god, yeah, just like the literally consuming of the body and the blood of who you either love or just wanna tear apart purely sexually feels harrowingly divine to me. In the love sense, eating the body and blood of who you hold faith in is literally a Catholic practice with Jesus and represents love and appreciation for his sacrifice, acknowledging that everyone he died for owns him and has him in a sense. And then in the sexual way, I’m not the best person to ask about sexual attraction because I don’t have it, but like from a poetic standpoint I totally get having someone’s bare flesh in Your grasp and wanting to dig your nails or teeth in until their bleeding, and then wanting a taste on top of it.

And then the actual act of physically chewing and swallowing the warm, wet flesh of who you are literally holding dear is just a symphony to me. Like yes, have that blood stain your frantic mouth and between your carnal teeth, let it get under your nails and flush your skin. And then let it stick to your throat on the way down and sit warm and heavy in your stomach. Literally become one with you are probably inside of right now. Literally accept them into yourself in the most pure, animalistically human way you can. Focus on needing to be full, satiating a starving hunger for closeness and desire to permanently mark and be marked by who quells you. Breathe and taste their blood in every gasp and sigh you take, look at them and see something between an angel and meal.

It’s the ultimate form of hugging who you love close and being unsatisfied with the fact your bodies will always been separate and longing to literally crawl under their skin. It’s desperately trying to satiate that need the only way your pitiful human form can, with tongues and teeth. And it pretty cool I think :3

okay i adore your dorcas take, do you have any thoughts on dorlene 🧎‍♀️

i do!! i think about them lots and lots and lots…

i generally don’t like to imagine that anything happened between them in school, apart from a very severe quidditch rivalry (one of the only tiktok tropes that you will have to pry from my cold dead hands). to me, it’s most compelling for them to re-encounter each other in the order, and both are forced to reconsider their views of the other. in general, i feel like they are very different people, and seem to embody their respective hogwarts houses: dorcas is intelligent, ambitious, calculating, but can come across as cold, whereas marlene is hot-headed and impulsive, but also courageous, loyal, and believes in doing the right thing. they are natural enemies in school, but the circumstances of war blur the lines and they find themselves as two new people, drawn to each other.

during the war, they’re both two lost souls. anyone dorcas was associated with before, at school, is now on the other side. she’s completely alone in the order, as most of the other members are old friends or family or at least ran in the same circles prior to all this. but as a slytherin muggle-born, she never got the chance to form any of those connections. the prejudice against slytherins during these times is high, and i like to think of marlene as very involved in this; she mistrusts and dislikes dorcas due to the fact she was in a certain hogwarts house (even in school, their rivalry was very much borne from this). the stereotype that all dark wizards come from slytherin, and all slytherins are bad, runs rampant. it’s a common sentiment, and dorcas feels the brunt of it. she’s no less discriminated against here than anywhere else. and she’s just as lonely.

marlene perhaps feels equally as alone, in a different way. she’s in the order with her friends and her family, but she starts to feel estranged from them. mary doesn’t want to be involved. lily is having a baby and starting a family. her parents and siblings are being sent on progressively more dangerous and secretive missions. she feels left behind. she struggles with feeling fulfilled, or feeling like she’s accomplishing anything. it feels like everyone is moving forward and marlene in stuck in the same place, waiting for things to happen. nothing feels like it’s changing, the war doesn’t feel like it’s being won, and she feels isolated from everyone else.

they get sent on a mission, or they are the last ones left at a meeting, or they just end up together somehow. it doesn’t take long for them to start using each other to feel less alone. and it takes even less time for them to both realise that they aren’t alone anymore, because, against all the odds, they’ve found each other. and when marlene is killed and dorcas loses the only thing she has left, it’s a good a reason as any to lose it and go on a suicide vengeance mission. because this whole time, she’s been fighting for herself, but as soon as she started to feel like a person again, that is also ripped away from her. the one thing that made it all seem worth it is gone, and so…it just isn’t worth it anymore!!! her whole life, dorcas has been trying to justify her existence. now, she’s given up. IT MAKES ME FERAL.

born to be an abstract concept, forced to be a percievable entity

beth ml spare us your dorcas thoughts if you have any 🙏

ceri my dear i would love to! to me, dorcas is just so cool. she is by far the coolest of any of the characters. her makeup is always flawless. her hair is sleek and elegant. her clothes are stylish and sophisticated. she speaks in a barely discernible west-country accent. she’s one of the only people to make snakeskin work.

she’s a slytherin through and through! she’s calculating and cunning and oh-so-ambitious. but she also lacks a true sense of identity. being a witch sets her apart from the non-wizarding community, and being a muggle-born sets her apart from pureblood society at hogwarts. additionally, she also feels alienated due to her race and position as a black woman in the 1970s. she’s never really felt like she belongs anywhere, and so she finds it hard to know who she actually is. she believes in safety in numbers, but she’s also never really found those numbers. she’s not welcome in slytherin due to her blood status, and she’s not welcome with any other house because she’s a slytherin. she really only has emma.

she joins the order for a multitude of reasons. primarily, it’s because she needs them. she needs them to succeed in defeating voldemort so she has a chance in this world, having been spurned by blood supremacists. but she also needs them, because she needs a ‘clan’. she needs to finally feel like she belongs somewhere, she needs people she can rely on and trust and who believe in her, even if it’s just solidarity towards a shared goal. beyond that, she feels personally wronged by voldemort and his cause. she is very proud, and perhaps has a bit of a superiority complex, and she is furious at these people telling her she is worth less than them. she is an extremely powerful witch, and she scorns anyone who tries to suggest otherwise. she’s so powerful and so angry that voldemort has to take care of her himself. and let’s be clear- she does not go down without a fight. she does her absolute utmost to prove that she is just as powerful a witch as someone from the goddamn sacred 28.

Reading my own work going "who cooked here" and it's literally me.