PLEASE NEVER STOP TALKING EVER - Tumblr Posts
any thoughts on walburga? π€
Ask was so exciting I had to properly get ready for the day just so I could answer while eating breakfast. Thank you <3
Anyways! I'm sorry but so much of her thoughts just stem from her relationship to Sirius and Regulus. IM SO SORRYYYY
I feel like I should clarify. I'm not, in anyway universe, going to defend her.
The most important thing to me is that I believe the entire Black family did love each other, but they were all fucked over as kids so it never translated properly to the next generation. I definitely think a major cause of Walburga and her relationship with her children stems from postpartum depression that just never got talked about within the family. And I don't think she ever felt forced into her marriage, I think out of everyone in the family, she and Orion got along best (best: they weren't actively trying to do damage to each other). There was kind of an understanding between them that leads to them ignoring each other more so than yk screaming and hurting each other. I do believe it was because they were the closest related ones that were married.
I think with Sirius, it was a feeling of, "Well this doesn't feel as nice as I thought" and she just wasn't given a chance to properly bond before he was sent to China to live with Orion's parents. I do believe she tried, but by the time he was heading into Hogwarts, she just couldn't be around him without being frustrated at everything he was doing, his voice was annoying, and every time he did something there was always the thought of "The audacity of him" and all those feelings leaked into her lessons she would have to teach him which lead to there being more pressure placed in Sirius. But he's her son so she's always going to have this: "I love you, but I don't like you" mindset with him. Walburga would die for Sirius if she could, but she would never talk to Sirius without berating him and harming him in some way. Even in canon, she was pretty sad about him leaving so there was some love between them, it just got fucked over.
Unlike with Sirius, she had Regulus for a little longer before he was taken to China, so there was a bit of a relationship that was formed. Regulus is her golden child. I think in a trans-Regulus situation, there is a sense of "Someone just like me" from Walburga and she loves him for it. But in a cis Regulus situation, I definitely think it would be like a "mama's boy" type of thing where she kinda projects her "ideal husband" onto him (aka emotional incest) (it's disgusting but I can't unsee it honestly). Either way, Walburga would be so much more open to Regulus and there would definitely be an emotional parentification situation which plays into why Regulus wouldn't want to leave the family for the longest time. She was always so much sweeter to Regulus because he listened to her and he made the effort to not fight back against anything because, to Regulus, Walburga was suffering from loneliness, she was lonely and miserable, and her childhood was a mess on it own (once again generational trauma). She makes it clear that she does love both Sirius and Regulus, but only Regulus would've ever hear it. And from Regulus' neglected mind, love would be a good excuse for everything and anything.
She and Orion were never abusive. Just neglectful and scary when angry (but her actions are balanced out in Regulus' head). She had a hard time expressing herself, which was why it's so important to Regulus when she does talk. She's lonely. She's a horrible mother but loves her children. She misses her brothers but hates how Cygnus has turned into their father and how Alphard didn't give two shits about their family (not true, he just knew when something was a lost cause) (I like to think Walburga and Alphard parallel Sirius and Regulus a lot). She had a chance to break the cycle but didn't and it'll haunt her for the rest of her days. She'll spend the rest of her life in Grimmauld wondering what went wrong while ignoring the clear answer. She'll take her last breath and feel robbed of her happy ending and the fruits of her suffering. Also, I do want to add: that she's fully aware she's a terrible mother. It's a highlight of what makes her a terrible person, she's fully aware and doesn't change!
Also, she's definitely the type of mother to brush her kid's hair so far back, slick with no gel type of thing with those painful ass hair ties that have charms on the ends that you would wrap around the ponytail and smack your nails so HARD ITS FUCKING HURTS OMG. I just know when she was doing Regulus and Sirius' hair they were crying out on the inside.