Do Folks Genuinely Not Understand The Appeal Of The "enemies To Lovers" Trope, As It Shows Up Over And

do folks genuinely not understand the appeal of the "enemies to lovers" trope, as it shows up over and over in fantasy & adventure fiction? really?

obviously it's cool if you don't personally like the trope. we're all different. but i'm seeing an increase in posts asking "what is wrong with people who ship this dynamic??" like it's so far out and strange, we can't possibly conceive of why people would like this. like... really?? enemies to lovers??? literally one of the oldest tropes in existence?? in the poppin-fresh year of our lord 2020, fandom is genuinely confused about this?

(disclaimer: i am, very specifically, talking about enemies to lovers, as it presents in fantasy and adventure fiction. when people use the word "abuse" to describe the dynamic between characters from opposing armies who like... fight each other on horseback with magical swords, i question their grasp of narrative, not to mention their motives.)

like, picture it: someone who opposed you, coming to your side. someone who clashed against you, becoming someone who never would again. someone who is in the end overcome by your power, your character, your strength, your wit, whatever: overcome by the very force of you. someone who chooses to fall at your feet and take up your cause as their own, to wield their own significant power against your enemies.

and... someone you don't have to always be so fucking good for. someone who has heard you scream unprintable curses on the battlefield. someone who has undoubtedly seen rage and fear and desperation in your eyes. someone you've probably also hurt. someone who wouldn't blink if you put an arrow in a real enemy's back and might in fact hide the body for you. someone you know will be as strong at your back in a fight as you'll be at theirs; partly because, well, you've both lived through each other.

and as a woman, boy do i personally get the appeal of this trope (as a general concept, even when specific ships don't resonate w/ me). like we live in a world where men think it's "weird" that their girlfriend swears or farts; not shaving is a cardinal sin. women's humanity is disgusting to so many men and even to so many fellow women. women's righteous anger is laughed at, our legitimate fears are routinely dismissed and belittled. if we're not nice, if we're not sweet, if we're not doormats, we're discarded; if we are any of those things, we're looked down on, we're targeted, we're blamed.

and people can't understand at all why we might be drawn to stories where the very forces that oppose us, are so transformed by us, so drawn to us for everything that we are, that they literally leave their old selves behind in the dust to join us and devote themselves entirely to our victory?

inconceivable, i guess.

(second disclaimer: no, this trope is obviously not appealing to all women, what the fuck is appealing to all women, besides pizza?)

and furthermore, since nobody asked me.... the idea that we have to "protect" women from enemies-to-lovers stories, when those exact stories can offer some of us a cathartic brand of fantasy.... whew, fandom. stay infantalizing us i guess.

❗VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION ❗

Hello, my fellow fanwork creators. Sorry to interrupt, but there's an important information you all should pay attention to.

In short, everyone who is eligible to vote for the election of OTW (they run AO3 and Fanlore), should vote against the candidate Tiffany G. If you have donated over 10$ to AO3 in the past year, you are eligible to vote for yourself, and for us, for every Archive of Our Own user, especially the creators in China. This is a very serious question.

In Tiffany's statement, they want to build a more strict censorship policy in AO3. They also talked about limiting the adult content so this website would "have a better image to public". And they said China banned AO3 because of "pedophilic content" but as a Chinese myself, we all know it's just because my country prohibits any sex-related website. So basically, if this Tiffany succeed to get a seat of OTW, AO3 will face more strict censorship, limited adult content, and for we, for Chinese users, the result would be more catastrophic.

Tiffany G also mentioned that they work in a governmental organisation in China. Just consider why a pro-censorship, fandom newbie(Tiffany said it themself), and government staff wants to run for the election of an organisation that is holistically against their agenda. In my personal worst imagination, once they got the seat, they will immediately pack all the information of Chinese users in AO3 and report them to the Government. The consequence will be horrible.

Please, vote for yourself, for us, and for the future of our favourite fanwork site. If you are not an eligible voter and you wanna do something, please let more people receive this information. Thank you.

Yup. I’m a cis woman who’s been self-conscious or dysphoric about:

- being tall - thank god for the people I looked up to who told me to be proud of my height, because this is the one thing I haven’t felt dysphoric about after my mid-teens. I bring it up anyway because holy shit do terfs, radfems and certain men love to go on about tall heights being suspicious for a woman 🙄

- having broad shoulders.

- having something of an hourglass figure, but tending to put weight on my stomach and waist so between that and the above shoulders it gets “hidden” for a lack of a better word.

- hair on my lower arms and legs.

- 4-6 chin hairs I always pull out.

- some hair on my upper lip that might not actually be that noticeable? I only noticed (and panicked) because mom made an off-handed comment thinking I already knew several of our female relatives also have them, one to the point of shaving.

- almost always been uncomfortable in skirts because of above mentioned weight distribution.

- not wearing make-up except on very special occasions because while I like the end result it’s too much hassle for me to do regularly.

- my hair. I kept at almost waist-length for longer than I wanted because I felt it was the only thing making me feminine. When I decided to cut it to shoulder-length my former hairdresser kept going “but are you sure, your hair is so lovely”. This in contrast to my current hairdresser, who on my first visit encouraged me to go for the semi-pixie cut I wanted because “worst case scenario it’ll grow out again”. End result was I loved it, everyone I knew said it fit me so well, and I got more numbers in a week than I did my entire life until then lol. I only went back to shoulder length recently because I wanted to try something new.

So yeah, terfs stay mad over the fact that ciswomen share many experiences with transwomen and transphobic bullshit hurts everyone! If my experiences helps a single trans- and/or nonbinary person feel better about themselves I’ll happily keep sharing them.

realizing cis women also struggle with “passing” a lot of times and has a lot of the same issues with dysphoria trans women have (issues with putting on/losing weight, dissatisfied with bust size, not feeling “feminine” enough, etc.) has done a lot to combat dysphoria for me, cause it’s like, wow, we really have a lot more in common than we have in difference huh

when your art program’s closing message hits you straight in the heart and makes you stop and contemplate the state of it all

A helpful How to guide for embedding images on AO3 (yes, I even included the HTML this time)

AO3 Guides Part 1

I'm ANGRY ok. im angry and I'm on adderall so i accidentally rage wrote an essay I'm angry about how I've been treated but I'm also furious about how my friends have been treated And I'm terrified about how people i don't even know have been and will be treated in the future especially the people on the site when so many users are minors or already traumatized or dealing with mental issues people who are already so vulnerable irl now looking for a safe space in a community that could end up turning on them in a heartbeat yall ever notice how i rarely talk about interact with or comment on other users on this blog? bc i don't want to unintentionally contribute to harassment by spreading anything negative and bc too many of my mutuals have received harassment for interacting with me in the past And I'm just not going to be the reason that anyone has to go through any of the shit I've been through. It's a burning pit of hell that i won't be responsible for pushing anyone into please do not let this obsession with being 'good' and 'right' prevent you from being KIND

please do not let this obsession with being 'good' and 'right' prevent you from being KIND  

you know how some parents do that toxic thing where they don’t notice or reward kids for improving their behavior, but every screw-up gets remarked upon and used to inflict shame? so you’re stuck in that awful cycle where there are no rewards, only the inevitability of eventual punishment?