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*Kakashi trying to sleep in bed*

Gai, “whispering” in the kitchen: Good job, Lee! You can never add too much pepper to eggs!

Sakura: Yes you can! That’s way too much; Kakashi-Sensei doesn’t even like spicy food!

Naruto: Oi; is there supposed to be so much smoke coming from the oven —?

Gai: Ah! My blueberry muffins! *pulls them out to a billowing cloud of smoke* Damn … where did I go wrong?

Neji: For starters you had the oven up to 500 degrees, when it was only supposed to be 350.

Ten-Ten: No; he went wrong when he decided to make Kakashi-Sensei breakfast in bed for his birthday instead of just taking him to a nice restaurant!

Gai: Kids, come on. I know you’re young but when you’re older you’ll appreciate the thoughtfulness of romantic gestures such as these!

Lee: I’m sure Kakashi-Sensei will appreciate the youthfulness of your actions, Gai-Sensei! And everything isn’t a loss; the bacon looks delicious! Great job, Sasuke!

Sakura: Sasuke-kun … are your eyes bleeding?

Sasuke, sharingan activated, super focused: You want this bacon to be perfect or not?!

Sai: Shouldn’t they be doing something else? My book says romantic couples engage in all kinds of things on one person’s birthday, like hugging and kissing, and se —

Naruto: Are you kidding, Sai?! Kakashi-Sensei is an old man, he doesn’t have the energy for all that, dattebayo!

Sakura: Right; he exhausts his chakra just standing up in the morning! There’s no way he can handle … that.

Kakashi, trying to decide whether he should “wake up” or sneak out the window:

Lee: Gai-sensei is such an inspiration! Neji, let’s train too!

Neji: n o

Headcanon that Gai needs a certain number of hours to be as cheerful in the day as he is and if he’s woken up before he reaches that time he’s gonna be the biggest asshole to you about it in the most passive aggressive way

Kakashi has gotten the worst of it because 1. He didn’t know the first time and 2. He thinks Gai’s rude and brash attitude is so funny

praying for his downfall in his own house

Kks: Feeling good today? Gai: I feel great, beloved! Just finished the laundry! Kks: Why're you holding him like that? Gai: Who? Kks: The dog you're holding Gai: hm? Biscuit: Hey, bestie Gai: GAH!! I picked him up to dry him off then got distracted looking for a towel Biscuit: It's been 45 minutes. Gai: Shoo, then. apologies, my friend. Kks: Poor biscuit. Gai: He didn't say a word the whole time Kks: That would ruin their bets for how long you'd take to notice. Gai: Their what? Kks: You're so pretty <3

One small clip of spice🔞 beneath the cut, clothes on top side for our holy site lol

Uncropped on patreon

My favorite kakagai trope is Gai accidentally friendzoning Kakashi. (He's a little clueless and also probably underestimated how much Kakashi likes him actually)

Kakagai based off this incorrect quote

Kakashi: tell me something I don’t know

Gai: yesterday I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet

this dog constantly looks like hes on the verge of calling someone a slur

Sakura: … why is Sensei crying?

Sasuke: Naruto called him “dad” during training today.

Sakura, to Kakashi: And that made you really happy — ?

Kakashi: No! For God’s sake, I’m just barely keeping myself alive, here! I’m not ready for the responsibilities of having actual children!

Naruto: But I thought you liked that word, dattebayo! Last week when it was raining really hard and I had to spend the night at your house, I heard Gai-Sensei call you “daddy” a BUNCH of times, and the next day you seemed really happy!

Sakura and Sasuke:

Sasuke: G-Gai was there, too?

Naruto: Yeah; he crawled through the window after midnight. I asked him what he was doing and he said him and Kakashi-sensei have special training at night. I asked if I could train with them but he said I wasn’t old enough, but one day I’d probably train like that with Sasuke.

Sakura: …

Sasuke, blushing: …

Kakashi: …

based on the incredible textpost by @ladykissingfish

(we’ve all been there, sakura)

Kkg ft their son who did not need to hear that™️

Sakura:Hey a cat!

Naruto:We should get some bacon and lure it out.

Sasuke: Cats are pescatarians.

Naruto: Your telling me this cat believes in god!

Sakura:-_-

still thinking about this tweet i made few years ago

had some thoughts about Naruto characters and the question, "would you love me if I was a worm?", coming to you live from my roommate's text thread

Sasuke: would you love me if I was a worm

Sakura: you ARE a worm, deadbeat. come pick up your kid from school

Sasuke:

Sakura:

Sasuke: do you. love me. then?

Sakura: yes. please go get sarada.

Sai: I do not understand this. Why have you not asked me this yet?

Ino: asked you what?

Sai: if I would love you if you were a worm. Do you not want me to love you if you were a worm?

Ino: what-- no? I mean, yes! I mean--

Sai, calculating: so.... you want me to love you as a worm?

Ino: uh yeah ig?

Sai: I would not.

Ino: oh...

Sai: worms are not beautiful. or smart. they are only worms.

Ino: 🥺🥺

Temari: You would love me if I was a worm. I'd be the best worm ever, and you'd be a sucker just like you are now.

Shikamaru: Yes I would. You're already the best worm and you're not even a worm.

Temari: Good. Just making sure we're on the same page.

Shikamaru, visibly shaking: yep.

Iruka: this is a dumb question.

Kakashi: I love dumb questions. You look hot asking them.

Iruka: ..... would....would you love me if I was a worm?

Kakashi, without hesitation: of course. you'd still be you, and besides--- I've never had sex with a worm before

Iruka: Kakashi no.

Kakashi: seriously, I think it could work.

Iruka: Kakashi--

Kakashi, eyes glazed over: I'm pretty sure there's got to be a worm jutsu that would allow us to experiment....

Neji, trying and failing to be nonchalant: Hey Tenten?

Tenten, looking up from her training: Yeah?

Neji: I would love you if you were a worm.

Tenten: ?????

Neji: You know. Just in case you were wondering.

Neji *blushing*: I would.

Tenten, not understanding, but pleased nonetheless: Thanks babe ❤️

(bonus)

Sakura: Hey Naruto, earlier Sasuke asked me if I'd love him if he were a worm.

Naruto: but he IS a worm.

Sakura: That's what I said!! But... It got me thinking.

Naruto: that you would love me if I was a worm too?

Sakura: no! I mean, yes I would-- but, I was thinking more if I was a worm. Like. Would you still love me?

Naruto: uh, sure!

Sakura:..... That doesn't sound very confident.

Naruto: listen, I just --

Sakura: no I get it, you just don't love me

Naruto: THATS NOT WHAT I SAID

Sakura: no it's okay, you've always liked Sasuke more--

Naruto: SAKURA-CHAN, NOOOOOOOOO

BONUS bonus

Later:

Sasuke gets home. Naruto is in his room, sobbing. He's holding a tiny worm.

Sasuke: what the fuck are you doing?

Naruto, tears streaming down his face: ITS SAKURA-CHAN

Sasuke: what did she do????????? Is she okay?

Naruto: NO, SHES A WORM

Sasuke: WHAT

Naruto, becoming increasingly more hysterical: TODAY SHE ASKED ME IF I WOULD LOVE HER IF SHE WERE A WORM AND I CHOKED AND DIDNT ANSWER FAST ENOUGH SO NOW SHE THINKS I DONT LOVE HER SO SHE TURNED HERSELF INTO A WORM AND SHE WONT TURN BACK NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TELL HER I LOVE HER WHAT IF SHES STUCK THIS IS ALL MY FAULT--

Sasuke, visibly panicking: okay. Let's not panic. She's a sannin-level shinobi. She just wants us to feel bad. She'll change back when she's ready.

Naruto: BUT WHAT IF SHES STUCK

Sakura, who has been outside the window the whole time and watched Naruto find the worm in the kitchen: I love those morons so much-

Team 7 art dump

Scenes from the naruto retsuden novel <3

Borrowed Clothing

“Where's my jacket?” Sasuke asks poking his head in the living room, he was wearing a black T-shirt which he would normally wear along with it.

“Your jacket?” Sakura tilts her head, cosy on the couch with her book.

“Yes, the blue one with the Uchiha logo on the back.”

“Oooh, I thought you might have meant this one?” And it's only when Sakura stands up does he realise she is wearing his oversized jacket.

The red one which he had thought he lost 2 weeks ago.

She was tiny in comparison.

“Why are you-”

“Yo, I'm home,” Naruto calls and Sasuke turns to see the blonde in his blue one.

He just grins as his eyes narrow.

"Why are you two wearing my clothes?" They smiled sheepishly shrugging.

“I mean isn't that what you are supposed to do when in a relationship? It's like an unspoken rule.” Naruto explains, Sasuke gives him a blank look.

“No, it's not.”

“Yes, it is,” Sakura interjects. “It's normal to borrow your partner's clothing.”

“When you say 'borrow' you really mean steal don't you? I've been missing that jacket for two weeks now.”

“Don't blame me, Naruto's the one who had it first. I thought you knew, I only took it after because it smells of the both of you.”

“Yeah, and besides, you can borrow mine if you want. I don't mind.” The Uchiha sighs seeing as there was no point in reasoning with them.

Plus, he couldn't say no to them anyway.

“Fine, but I want them cleaned up afterwards. Especially from you.”

Naruto tended to be quite slobbish with his food.

“Oi, I'm not that bad.”

~~~

Three days later, Sasuke is wearing his red jacket now as Naruto still refuses to give him back the blue one.

Sakura at least had the decency to wash the other and fold it neatly back onto the bed.

Even though it was clean, he could still smell the ramen and Sakura's perfume on it.

So that's why. Sasuke thinks to himself feeling calm and warm at their scent. Despite the fact that the two were both at lectures.

He didn't feel lonely as before.

~~~

“I see you're taking our advice!”

“Don't let it get to your head.”

“Too late.” The Uzumaki smiles seeing the Uchiha in his orange hoodie.

“It suits you,” he comments smirking.

“Yeah, it does.” Sakura agrees feeling snug in Naruto's jumper.

~~~

“I don't think it's going to work...”

“Well, it's your idea.” Sasuke snarls whispering.

“But can we even fit in them?” The Uchiha and Uzumaki browse through their girlfriend's clothes.

She was much tinier compared to them, but it didn't seem fair for them to only borrow each other's clothing when she had multiple options.

“It's worth a shot?”

~~~

“Uh...”

“It was Naruto's idea.” Sasuke pointed to the blonde.

“Hey, you’re the one who said we should try.” The boys glared and Sakura sniggered at them.

Naruto was in a pink crop top with strawberries that just about covered his chest whilst Sasuke was in a plain purple t-shirt that likewise was too tight and barely fitted the Uchiha.

“Well...it's the thought that counts.”

~~~

Since the two couldn't fit into her clothes, they thought of another idea instead.

“What are you...”

“We couldn't fit into your own clothes, so we thought we would buy a larger version of them,” Sasuke spoke.

“We also went and brought other clothes that would suit us but think you would like.” Naruto finished off.

“I can't believe you actually went out of your way to buy something, just so you can wear something that's mine.”

“This is equal rights,” Naruto stated.

Sakura huffed amused, he had a point.

“We've borrowed your perfume though.” Sasuke shares perfume in hand.

“My perfume?”

“To make them smell like you.”

Of course, they did, it was cheesy but kind of sweet.

Only one question remained though.

“Are you two even going to go outside wearing them?” Most guys would feel embarrassed at wearing 'women's clothing' but then again...

“What do you mean? We already did.”

They were her boys after all.

raise your hand if you’re in love with someone who was once considered a danger to society

I genuinely think any ship within the og Team 7 students would make sense. There're 0 reasons to fight about it, they're all just as justified.

Naruto was obsessed for yeeeeeaaaars with his teammates. He looked at them like they hung the moon and the stars in the sky for him. Sasuke and Sakura were the only boy and girl on Earth, lol.

Sasuke and Sakura were used to being cruel to put some distance between them and the world. Defense mechanism or not, Naruto was maybe the only person in the entire world that would never eat that up. He knew feeling lonely, he knew being hurt, he knew to feel useless... Fuck that, for him, there would never be as someone as awesome as his teammates.

His most important promise in life was to save Sasuke, for both his, Sakura's and his own sake.

In return, Sasuke and Sakura would never shut up about him either. His their saviour, their hero, their sun and the boy fills their lives with joy.

That's why any ship with him works!

For Sakura, it's that there was textual romantic tension with both of them for the entire series. Their chemistry and backstory were intentionally written. That Kishimoto decided on the canon ships in the end, okay, but any of them could have worked. If you can't feel the love between them, blame the writing and not the characters, 'cause it was clear that Kishimoto wanted people to think of them as a love triangle for some time.

Since the genin days, she was their it girl. No one touches Sakura, no one hurts Sakura, blah blah blah. In exchange, even when she wasn't strong enough, she'd use herself as a shield for them. It makes no sense, but she'd jump between any attack and them at any moment. She would run to them when they have lost their mind, not even scared of them as much as she was scared for them.

She defended both of them when other people criticized them. She also lost faith and tried to manipulate them or kill them at some point out of pure desperation of keeping one of them alive. She was the one left behind time and time again, they are her whole reason to be who she is and to be a medic nin. All she ever wanted was to walk alongside them, not behind them.

Again, it works.

With Sasuke is so easy.

Naruto and Sakura were obsessed with him to the point of following him to the literal almost end of the world. The definition of hatred being actually love, because they'd be at each other's throats about it. Their goal in life? Sasuke. The person they cried about at night? Sasuke. What would they wish upon a star? For Sasuke to come back.

And Sasuke couldn't stop thinking about them. In his mind, they were always there. They'd follow him, almost haunt him. They were annoying and rude and ignorant, they were stupid, weak even, he loved them so much that he convinced himself he needed to kill them, cut their bonds.

They harbor endless love for him and with time, he came to understand that's just how they were and accept it.

The loyal 12 years old that would rather take the attacks himself than let his teammates be in any type of danger, did a full cycle and came to be the devoted man that vowed to atone for his mistakes and return to them one day.

If they gave themselves freely to him and almost without a reason, Sasuke gave himself back with all the reasons in the world.

Do I even have to explain why narusasusaku works too or—????

Anyway.

I could never fight over what's the better ship when I know they are all insane about each other.

Shippuden is a ride

the narusasusaku dump

a narusasusaku au where naruto joins the uchihas!

third wheel

western narusasusaku 🤠