Khione!! You Make Me Fall In Love With This Couple Over And Over Again!! I Just Love This Drabble About

Khione!! You make me fall in love with this couple over and over again!! I just love this drabble about them! It shows just how smitten with each other they are. "...but you know his eyes hold your galaxies and you'll never get tired of drowning in them." 😍 What beautiful writing! Thank you for sharing this!!

my way to you special: in the moonlight / jeon wonwoo

➝ Wonwoo x fem!Reader

➝ rich!AU // heir & heiress!AU // est relationship // best friends to lovers <3 // fluff // slice of life

➝ warning: curses, so much fluff it's disgusting, kissing towards the end, they love each other so much it's unreal D:

➝ word count: 2.6~k

A/N: hi! another short one to celebrate my 3k milestone. i've missed this couple too and i'm just so so soft for them <//3 once again, thank you for your support and please enjoy this little gift. don't hesitate to drop by and tell me your thoughts too!

my way to you masterlist

[✾✾✾]

“So.”

“So?” Wonwoo raises his eyebrow, wondering what you’re up to.

“The wedding is next week.” You nudge him with a cheeky smile. “You ready?”

He rolls his eyes and nudges you back, then laughs when you stumble a little because he forgot just how easy you lose your balance.

“It’s Jinyoung’s wedding, why would I need to be ready?”

“Best man stuff.” You shrug as you lean over to hug his arm and claim the rightful spot that is his shoulder.

You’re currently out for a walk with Wonwoo, because it’s nice out and you’re a little too full from the lunch you’ve just had with him. You smile as you see a dog running in your direction, hugging yourself closer to Wonwoo to make ways for the owner to pass you.

“You know it’s just formality. I don’t even know why he needs a best man.”

“Formality is right. Let’s not have those for our wedding.” You say absentmindedly, not even looking at him.

Wonwoo bites his lip to suppress a stupid smile at your comment about your (currently) nonexistent wedding plan. You’ve been doing that a lot since Jinyoung’s wedding preparation; mentioning what to do at your wedding even though none of you has talked about marriage just yet.

Yes, you both know you’re going to marry each other and it definitely will happen someday. But it’s not like he’s proposed yet and he’s starting to think that he should do it soon now that you keep on mentioning it.

Is this you sending him codes?

He doubts. You’re usually very straightforward with what you want from him, even more when it comes to your relationship.

So, you talking about these things can only mean one thing: you’re already more than comfortable with the idea of marriage (hopefully only with him). He probably should start planning for a proposal after Jinyoung’s wedding.

“Why are you smiling by yourself, you weirdo?” You frown with a concerned look, stopping on your track. Wonwoo simply shakes his head and pulls you with him again, and he doesn’t even indulge you when you keep on insisting to find out what’s inside his mind.

You really should’ve known by now it’s only you in his mind and he has no plan in changing it.

[✾✾✾]

“Princess, I think you’ve tried enough already.” He pretends to be reluctant when you insist on going into one more shop for a dress. But, really, he’s just afraid his heart wouldn’t be able to take it if he sees you in one more dress.

He doesn’t see why you thought every single one you’ve tried on has some sort of flaws. Whatever it is, Wonwoo definitely can’t tell because you seem perfect in each one of them. Plus, it doesn’t help that he keeps on imagining you with a wedding dress everytime you come out of the fitting room to give him a twirl.

Fuck, can you be more adorable than you already are?

“Last one, I promise.” You pull him with no effort, because despite the fact that he’s whining for you to stop, he’s still an absolute simp when it comes to you so there’s no way he’d be able to say no under any circumstances. “If I still don’t find any, we’ll have dinner and head home?”

Home means Wonwoo’s place. And despite the fact that you’ve been addressing it as such since a few months back and you’ve been practically living in his place since the moment he moved in, it still warms his heart everytime he hears you call it home.

Seungcheol doesn’t even drive you to your place anymore after office unless you specifically say so.

“Why don’t you just make your own dress?” He suggests. “Don’t you do that sometimes?”

“The designer that makes my clothes is on maternity leave and I only like her works.”

“Clearly you’re not liking any of these, too.” He says before he even realizes, then winces when you hit his shoulder. You can really hit when you want to is something that Wonwoo has learned throughout the years he’s been with you. “Alright, come on. But I get to choose dinner.”

Wonwoo should’ve tried harder to convince you to go shopping with Chaeyoung. Because now his heart is about to burst at how fucking beautiful you look wrapped in a rose gold colored dress that hugs your body just right, falling just right below your knees. Some part of your skin is peeking through the sheer material, and he almost wants you to not like this because there’s no way in hell he is going to be able to stand you looking like this for hours straight.

“I take that you like this one?” You giggle at his expression; mouth ajar and eyes blown open though nothing escapes his lips.

“You look beautiful.” He says, almost like in a trance when he stands up to look at you closer.

It’s unfair just how beautiful you look, alright.

“A little too beautiful.”

You scrunch your nose at that, though your heart is beating in a messy rhythm. Wonwoo does that sometimes; gets severely honest during this kinda moment that he’s almost cheesy had this been any other situation. But you’re not complaining, and you can only whisper a small ‘really?’ because you’re suddenlt shy under his gaze.

“This is the dress, then.”

That was why you insisted on going shopping with him, alright.

[✾✾✾]

“How are you feeling?” You hold Jisoo’s hand, careful not to ruin anything even though there’s really nothing you can ruin by holding her hand. 

She looks like the pristine picture of a bride. She’s the bride, you decide. You’ve attended enough weddings to be able to tell when the bride is happy or is standing there against her will, but you’ve never seen a bride glowing as much as Jisoo is right now.

She’s radiating with all the good things in the world; she’s so in love and so happy that she’s not having cold feet at all. She’s so sure; in the promise of eternity, in life with Jinyoung, in whatever uncertainty that she might need to face after this day. Looking at the way she smiles before she mentions her soon-to-be-husband’s name, you suddenly feel like crying as you think about how you’d look on your wedding day.

“Hey, hey.” Jisoo panics a little, her hairstylist glaring at you for making her move. “Why are you crying?”

“No. Sorry, I just–” You blink continuously in hope it will stop your tears, but your lips are trembling and Jisoo actually tells her hairstylist to stop for a bit because she needs to stand up. Jennie has just come into the room when Jisoo reaches to hug you. She sends her friend a concerned look, but the look in the older girl’s face obviously means she’s not sure what’s going on either.

“I’m so sorry.” You shake your head as you carefully wipe your tears. “I’m not sure why I’m crying.”

Jisoo shares a look with Jennie, then takes a deep breath before she cups your cheek and gets into her older sister mode.

Dating Jinyoung for almost a decade and knowing him for more means she’s also known you for as long. She’s watched you and Wonwoo throughout the years, and she was probably one of the happiest parties when it was made clear that you and Wonwoo are finally dating.

She remembered telling Jinyoung a long time ago, way before you and Wonwoo started dating, that she’s envious of what you had with his brother. The both of you made love seem very easy, like it’s just obvious that you have to take care of each other.

As some sort of older sister for both you and Wonwoo, she can tell for sure that you’re one of those lucky couples that are just meant for each other. Jisoo has never believed much in soulmates; even her relationship with Jinyoung was nothing sort of magical because they choose to stay with each other.

They love each other, but it’s not easy to stay together when they have different ways of thinking and sometimes different views on life in general. She never doubts that Jinyoung loves her, but there used to be times when she doubted if love alone was enough. Unlike you and Wonwoo that she just knew would end up together no matter what, Jinyoung and Jisoo had quite the hurdles to finally get where they’re at.

Perhaps that’s why it feels fulfilling now that they’re taking another step for their future.

“Want me to call for Wonwoo?” Jennie offers, rubbing your back in comfort.

“No, it’s fine.” You smile despite your sniffles. “I’m just–happy for you. And… yeah. It’s not important. It’s your big day, sorry.”

Jisoo presses her lips together before she carefully asks Jennie and her makeup artists if she can have some time alone with you. You look up in surprise, but Jennie simply nods and smiles before she says she’ll just be nearby just in case.

It’s silent for a moment after everyone leaves, and you look at Jisoo, all gorgeous in her wedding dress even if her makeup is unfinished. You don’t talk to her on a daily basis, but she feels like she’s always been in your life due to her long years with Jinyoung–who’s basically your brother.

She’s always been kind to you though. She takes care of you a lot and even though you’re not the closest to her and you’d hang out with her from time to time even without Jinyoung or Wonwoo around. You remember going to her the few times you did end up fighting with Wonwoo, or when you just felt like sulking to someone older because Jeonghan and Shua just wouldn’t get it.

She’s not your closest friend, nor is she the first person you’d seek when you have a problem; but she’s still like your sister regardless and you couldn’t be happier for her.

“You’re thinking about your wedding, aren’t you?”

You offer her a small smile, a little shy but not seeing any reason to deny it.

“Do you want it to be soon?”

“Not sure.” You say honestly. Do you? Will it make any difference? You’ve always had Wonwoo by your side even though it’s only been two years or so since you framed your relationship under romance. You know it’s him you’re going to marry someday, but you’ve never thought of it as a pressing matter. Some days you even think it might be okay to just stay the way you are; together. 

Is there any need to get married when you already know you’re it for each other?

But after seeing more and more of Jinyoung’s wedding preparations, you notice some kind of preferences you have regarding a lot of stuff. You find yourself thinking about what to do or what not to do for your own wedding. 

And now that it’s d-day and you get to see Jisoo in her wedding dress, readying herself to seal the vow of eternity, you suddenly get a wave of imaginary pictures of you at your own wedding. They’re overwhelming, they scare you a little, but, more importantly, they give you a rush of giddiness that you’ve never experienced in your life.

“What scares you?” She shoots right to the point, and you open your mouth to say something–anything, but nothing comes out because you really don’t know what does. She seems to get this, so she changes her question to one far more fitting. “What makes you think you’re not ready?”

But you keep your silence. Because now that you think about it… nothing does.

Were you really not ready?

Or did you just think marrying him was just obvious?

“Nothing?” She smiles knowingly and squeezes your hands. “Maybe you’re more ready than you thought you were, then.”

[✾✾✾]

“What was that?” Wonwoo asks once you’ve settled beside him on the bed, fresh out of the shower. It’s almost 2AM now, Jinyoung’s wedding celebration ended just a few hours ago. But between being an immediate family and the after party for the youngsters, you and Wonwoo barely make it to the hotel room they’ve booked for you.

“What was what?” You know what he’s asking, but you’re still a little tipsy from all the drinks and you feel like playing dumb. You have all the time in the world, anyway.

You sneak your arms around his middle and lean against his chest, your ear right where his heart is at. The two of you really should be sleeping, if only because you’re dead tired and you’re sleepy; but none of you feel like doing so for some reason, so you’re just sitting there against the headboard of your bed, a blanket covering your bottom half as you cuddle with each other.

“You cried during the wedding.”

“Duh.” You bury yourself further into him. “It’s a wedding.”

He chuckles regardless, then drops a kiss on top of your head and rephrases his question. “You don’t usually cry at weddings, princess. Anything you wanna tell me?”

“Dunno.” You shrug. You look up and plant your chin on his chest to look up at him, the position is uncomfortable, but Wonwoo steals a kiss that you happily return. You spend a few moments just like that, sharing a lazy kiss that’s not going to lead anywhere.

If you hadn’t known Wonwoo since you were a kid, and if you hadn’t been practically living with him, you’d probably be thinking about how lucky you’d be if you got the chance to wake up next to him in the morning.

But you already do. You wake up to him everyday, and he’s not always the most handsome during then, sometimes he’s even borderline annoying, but you love him anyway and he’s still the most beautiful person in your world. 

You’re not taking his love for granted, but if there’s anything you’re sure of in this world, you’re sure about your love for him and his love for you.

“You’re really not going to tell me?” He whispers like it’s a secret, his lips barely away from yours.

You stare at him for a bit before you move to sit on his lap instead. If he’s surprised, Wonwoo doesn’t show it, but he happily lets you circle your arms around his neck while he puts his around your waist.

Time is a strange concept when you’re with him. You don’t know if it’s been seconds, minutes, or even hours, but you know that his eyes hold your galaxies and you’ll never get tired of drowning in them. Wonwoo doesn’t seem concerned though, which is yet another thing you love about him because he just seems to be able to translate your silence very well.

It’s then that you decide to break the serene moment.

“Hey.” 

“Hm?”

Your voice is small, barely even a whisper, but it's so clear to him like music that's only reserved for his ears and his ears only.

“Spend the rest of your life with me?”

Wonwoo blinks. Once, and then twice. And then he smiles and hugs you closer to kiss your forehead.

“I will even if you don’t ask me to.”

It’s 2 in the morning, you’re in your pajamas, and you don’t have any grand proposal up your sleeves but it’s okay because Wonwoo is always one step ahead than you are. And as he pulls away and gets off the bed to take something from his small luggage, you end up crying in the middle of the dusk when he slides the ring to your finger.

You can’t imagine a proposal better than this one; just you and him with no one to witness the magical moment that’s only reserved for you two, the city asleep and the moon high up in the sky.

[✾✾✾]

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved. I don't allow any translations or reposting of my works.

A/N: hi. just want to remind you that your words mean a lot to writers and i wanna remind you also that we're doing this for free. when i say i can't believe i have 3k followers, i don't mean it in an insecure way, i mean it in a way that: i barely have people who interact with me, what do you mean there are 3 thousand blogs here??? i think not even 10% of these blogs ever talk to me. but, at this point, this felt like talking to a wall and it gets discouraging. so i'm just... going to write whenever i feel like writing, and i'm considering to get rid of my tag list too while i'm at it. anyhow, thank you to those who always leave feedbacks and drop by from time to time, and i'm thankful for all of you still for taking your time to read this and my other works and i'll see you whenever i post smth again :)

mwty taglist: @hoe4wonwoo @dnylwoo @yslshua @twogyuu @najaemin138 @blueixnie @boowanie @pwettytae @itsveronicaxxx @aphrodyteeth @leechanniee @jeoonghann @sdoulc@kyeomjjigae @ru-lin @listxn@yngreid @vynnz @lilactangerine @justasoftstan @02psh@lovelywoo@pusangmamon@yoontaedotin @soonchanshua @fanfic24 @nothingbutadeadesceane @nollixtrml @sweetheart-gs@rjsmochii@dowoonwoodealer

permanent taglist: @stantrash171819 @sebongmochi @luveveryonewoo @thinkinboutwonu@kpopjackie@ursweetener @lavenderautumnx @shuahoshiscoups @sunshinein17 @leechanniee @twogyuu @hoe4wonwoo @h3h3tm0n @noraehey @seokshook @rubyhoons @just-here-to-read-01 @pearlygraysky @baekhyunstruly @svtreverie @coveyland @reallydgafaboutmyusername @sysymei @ovai @aikisbbq @fr0g-filez

Khione, this sounds so good!! I can't wait!!

dear autumn / jeon wonwoo (preview)

➝ Wonwoo x Reader (ft. Joshua)

➝ nonidol!au // angst // romance // fluff // drama...ish??? // soulmate!au // somewhat past life!au

➝ word count: 18k (lol🧍🏻‍♀️)

➝drop date: 17 July 2023 00:00 KST

➝ playlist

In a world where everyone bears the soulmate mark to find the one heaven perfectly made for them, Wonwoo is an outlier with no marks in sight. But he has more pressing matters to attend to because he remembers his past life and the promise he made to his soulmate that he’d find her again no matter what. Alternatively, He didn’t think he’d be reborn in a world where you are made for someone else.

A/N: WELL HELLO i didn't think i would actually finish this, nor that it would reach 15k lol and as i reached the final scene it suddenly hit me that this might... not what people might be into. but, well, i wrote this for wonwoo's birthday and i've had this idea for a while. hopefully, you'll look forward to this anyway!💙 now i just need to edit it and put it on queue💃🏻💃🏻

Stop, squishy and cute Wonwoo!!!! I didn't know I needed this today, but I did!! He's just too precious! 😍🥺 Thank you for writing this and sharing this, Khione!!

conclusion number three | jeon wonwoo

➝ Wonwoo x Reader

➝ fluff / slice of life / nonidol!au

➝ total word count: 1.4k

➝ notes, warnings: just them being cute. not proofread. wonwoo can be a lil ooc. Inspired by this post. i just love wonwoo so much, this is a wonwoo simp post. enjoy!

summary: you have a hypothesis you'd like to prove.

Wonwoo, you've come to realize, loves being complimented.

He doesn't say it out loud, doesn't do anything that screams "compliment me!", but he's not very subtle about his smile either when someone genuinely compliments him about something.

It's something that you've only noticed recently, and you're still keen on proving this hypothesis by throwing in compliments on random intervals throughout the days just to see how he'd react.

"You look very nice today." You say out of nowhere when Wonwoo is looking down at his coffee.

He blinks, a little confused, though you don't miss the shy smile he sports that's gone as quick as it appears.

"Thank you? We've been sitting here for an hour, though?" He doesn't say out loud the question of why you're only saying this now, but it's there and you shrug carelessly.

Conclusion number one: compliments about his look doesn't bring as much as a reaction from him even though it's there.

When you pass by a pretty flower wall, you ask Wonwoo to take a picture of you, something that he happily complies with and never complains about. 

After taking a few shots, he proudly shows you the pictures and says that the pictures came out nicely though he can take more if there’s a certain angle you prefer. You're looking at him instead of your phone, haven't even properly looked at the pictures, but your hypothesis is more important now so you say it anyway.

"You're very good at taking pictures, aren't you?"

He tilts his head before he looks at you, then smiles before he adds nonchalantly as he scrolls through the pictures he’s just taken, making your whole face warm with his comment.

"You're just very pretty."

Conclusion number two: he can brush off compliments about his skill easily though he seems pleased either way. (Need to confirm by complimenting his other skill that can't be turned back to you. Smooth bastard.)

You stumble upon a small festival on your way to dinner. Deciding to eat there instead, you and Wonwoo make you way through the festival, looking at the stalls along the street. You swing your hand as you walk through the sea of people, a little too excited to notice you've been swinging it a little too much.

Wonwoo grabs your hand with a chuckle, and when you look at him in question, he shakes his head without offering any explanation.

Looking at your hand in his, you hum before you tighten your hold and feel Wonwoo returns the gesture.

"Your hand is very warm, I like it."

He stops in his tracks, his eyes soft as he pulls you closer to him.

"You're very cheesy today, aren't you?"

Hm. Of course he'll catch up. At least he'd never know why you're doing this.

"What? I can't compliment my boyfriend?" You try to sound nonchalant, accompanied by a shrug that Wonwoo doesn't really buy.

He doesn't prod though, because what's the use in prodding when he can just accept compliments from the person he loves? There's no reason whatsoever for him to hold it against you. So he shakes his head and you feel the soft brush of his thumb against your knuckle before he pulls you to walk again. 

You stop by a crepe stall because you're craving sweets, your body swaying a little due to your excitement; you can’t remember the last time you went to a festival, probably a few years back during university, and to be here with Wonwoo of all people makes everything exciting–even waiting for an overpriced crepe because you have him by your side.

You press your lips together to stop the embarrassing squeal that’s trying to get out of your lips when the food vendor hands you your crepe, which says a lot about how enthusiastic you really are about the whole thing. Wonwoo chuckles yet again, keeps it in his mind to find more festivals to go to if you're this enticed by the thing.

Seeing an empty bench a while ago, you make your way back there in hope it’s still empty so you can eat your crepe and the takoyaki Wonwoo has just bought in peace. Thankfully, it is still empty, an old couple sits on the bench next to you and a group of three guys on the bench next to them.

Wonwoo sets the takoyaki and the bubble teas between the two of you, enjoying the festival vibe as he nibbles on a piece of takoyaki. You happily eat your crepe too, though you eye his food and wonder if it’s good. You don’t usually like takoyakis, but they seem good today and you blame it on the vibe around you.

“Want to try some?” He asks when he notices you frowning at the treat he’s holding.

Your lips purse in thoughts, and he breaths a chuckle before he pushes it in front of your lips. You take a full bite, and regret it immediately because it’s hot and you panic when your crepe almost topples from your hands.

The sound of Wonwoo’s laughter fill your ears despite the noise around you, and even though he’s laughing, his hands are already busy taking the crepe from your grip and handing you your bubble tea so you can cool the inside of your mouth down. He hands you a napkin too, something you gratefully take as you cough into the thing.

You say a bunch of incoherent things which Wonwoo guesses is just you telling him to shut up, but the way your cheeks turn completely full and you’re flailing your hands are just nothing but adorable to him that he can’t help grinning despite his worry.

When you finally manage to swallow the takoyaki (which does taste good and you would’ve appreciated had the prior incident not existed), you hit him square in the shoulder for laughing at your misery.

“Good to know my boyfriend likes seeing me suffer.” You glare.

“You know it’s not that.” He says softly, the smile never leaving his face. Before you can say anything back, he absentmindedly reaches out to wipe the corner of your lip with his thumb, then licks whatever that was there and continues with his meal.

You blink continuously, your whole face warm and you have to bite your lip from smiling too hard. 

What the fuck?

It seems like something he does without even realizing, because when he notices you’ve frozen in place, he looks genuinely confused and asks what happened like he didn’t just do what he did in a very public place.

Wonwoo has never really been one for public affections though he takes care of you the same. He doesn’t mind holding hands; but that’s about it–everything else he does behind the comfort of your door.

“Hey.” He pokes your cheek. “Why are you lagging?”

“Not funny.” You look at him unimpressed before you take your crepe back in embarrassment, though that doesn’t discourage him to grin at his own little joke. “Also, nothing.” 

“Ah, young love.” You hear the grandma next to you say to her spouse, something that Wonwoo seems to catch too because he shares that look with you. “Remember when you used to do that to me, too?”

The grandpa’s voice is too small for you to catch on, but what she says next gets your heart beating in an arrhythmical beat and you force yourself to lock your gaze on Wonwoo despite your embarrassment, his eyes avoiding yours, the tip of his ears blazing red, and he’s pressing his lips together so hard as if to contain a smile.

“They seem very in love, don't they? The young man takes care of the girl so well, I hope our son takes care of his wife like that too.”

“You take care of me well, huh?” You whisper, and he pretends like he doesn’t hear you regardless of the way he looks down to hide his smile that he’s no longer able to contain.

You grin at this, and you take his face in your hands so he’ll look at you. You’re a little surprised at how warm his face is, and you decide to spare him from the teasing you were originally about to do and you say another thing instead.

“You do take care of me very well; I’m glad I have you with me.” 

Conclusion number three: Wonwoo loves it very much when someone compliments him on the way he is with you.

He is so so fine!!

WONWOO SUPER

---

Maddie!!!! What a chapter!! I'm so happy I finally had the time to read this and sad I didn't get to read it when it came out! Mama Jeon, fake dating (although is it really fake, because I feel they've kind of been dating), alcohol, too much alcohol...what a ride!! And FINALLY some communication!! I was surprised that it was Wonwoo who actually started the conversation (and subsequent confession!?). I love these two and can't wait to see what happens!!

Amour-Haine & Co. | Chapter 14 |

series masterlist

warnings - swearing, alcohol, mentions of emotional abusive parents, toxic relationships

word count - 14.3k

A/N: this one here... ui... I deleted this chapter so many times bc I wasn't happy with it. now I'm uploading it like this. It took a different route than expected, but oh well... I hope you enjoy it :)

"That I'm on my fucking knees for you, Y/N."

Mum?!

"Wonwoo!" The woman ran towards the CEO, her arms open wide and a big smile decorating her already beautiful face.

Mum???

Wonwoo took a few steps forward to welcome her with a hug, the shocking impression still on his face while your feet seemed to have rooted themselves into the floor. You eyed their interaction from your position, your mind somewhere else but in the room, but your ears caught enough of their conversation to earn your attention.

"Jesus, have you been working out even more?" Jeon Chaewon released her son from her embrace, holding onto his forearms tightly, "I told you to stop that and start taking care of yourself like a normal person," and hit his arm gently. "How dare you not contact me, by the way? You bought a new company together with Mingyu, I have to find out you're in a relationship through your father, out of all people, then you're getting sued and you don't even call me-" hold on, what did she just say?

The CEO interrupted her questioning, taking her hands off him and embracing them into his, "Mum, calm down. What are you even doing here?"

She chuckled, "Is that how you greet your mother after a year of not seeing her?" And shook her head, "Unbelievable..."

"Mum-"

She stopped him with a smile and another slap, "No, 'mum'. I know it's very unexpected, especially now with everything going on, but still..." Neither one of them knew how to continue the conversation, and you weren't about to interrupt their little reunion. The scene was just as overwhelming for you as it seemed to have been for Wonwoo.

Unsure of how to go about the situation next, you decided to slowly and quietly make your way into your own office, giving the pair the privacy they deserved. 

Just as you turned around, your ears perked up at the sound of the woman speaking again, "You've got a lot of explaining to do, young man."

The deep sigh that came from Wonwoo was unlike anything you had ever heard. Deep. And heavy. Something you knew from yourself only too well.

"I know..." his voice was quieter than before - and much softer. As soft as you had only ever heard it once before. "Let's go to my office." She nodded but didn't follow her son when he turned around, 

"You're not coming?" You were about to open the door, but stopped mid-action when she continued, "Y/N?" You thought you would be sly with your disappearance. 

"Hm?" You turned your head, immediately meeting Wonwoo's panicked gaze before ignoring it and giving his mother all your attention.

"Oh no, mum, I'm sure Miss Yoon's got work to do," he tried to reach for the woman's arm, who sneakily avoided his touch, only to hit him across the head, making Wonwoo flinch.

"How dare you talk to her like that. You don't address your girlfriend by her last name, even with other people around," she scolded him, immediately catching you off-guard,

"Wh-"

"Right, I'm sorry," he quickly apologized, sending you a quick glance, raising his eyebrows for the shortest second possible. You got the sign but had to hold back a deep sigh. Where was he going with this?! What was he trying to do?

You wanted to interfere, but as soon as your eyes found the awaiting gaze of Jeon Chaewon, you just couldn't. Her eyes were sparkling like the brightest stars in a dark night sky. Like the fireworks you'd only get to see on New Year's Eve, right there in the form of her eyes. Only the eyes of a loving mother could hold that gaze. A sight you remembered very well and which you hadn't seen in quite some time.

"I-," you what? What were you going to say? How could you now say no to this woman in front of you... 

Frantically, your eyes met Wonwoo's for a quick second before you put your best fake smile on, "I'll be with you in a minute, I- I just... have to check on something in my office," and covered your nervous lying. 

It seemed to have satisfied Miss Jeon as she sent you another one of her bright grins before turning around, passing her son and entering his office before him as he was still standing in the same spot, his eyes fixed on you. He was about to say something, but you just shook your head and headed to your private room right away, not wanting to spend another second in this uncomfortable situation.

With quick steps you were in your office, immediately throwing your bag onto the couch in the corner. You ran your fingers through your hair, getting annoyed when they suddenly got stuck in the knots that had formed. Frantically, you pushed your hands down, flinching at the feeling of some strands getting caught under your rings and getting ripped out of your scalp. You sighed.

That was not how you had planned your day to start. That was not what you could have ever expected to happen. Wonwoo's mother just showing up suddenly? Her mistaking you for-... how did that come about... 

Once again, you found yourself caught up in the memory of her voice. Her calm tone, her loving gaze, that spark in her eyes, only a mother could hold.

Your feet brought you deeper into your office, closer to the couches, where your bag had tumbled down onto the floor, the content spreading across the floor. You cursed under your breath, got rid of your jacket and threw it onto the cushioned seats before kneeling down to gather everything that had fallen out. 

After getting everything back inside your bag, you were about to stand up when the sound of your phone ringing again made you reach for it. You fished it out of the bag and, just as expected, were faced with the caller id of your father. A deep sigh tumbled from your lips. How much longer could I ignore him, you wondered. His name has been popping up ever since that morning. He had found out about the lawsuit. Of course, he did. You knew it. There wasn't a way that he wouldn't have found out at some point, but you had hoped to be able to push it further away from you for as long as possible. There was no going back now. You pressed the green button to accept the call.

"How fucking dare you!" The alarming voice of your father rang through your ear, and the volume of it made you shove it away from your ear. "I trusted you with this company! You're getting fucking sued, and you didn't even dare to tell me?! Are you really that fucking dumb?! And how dare you ignore all of my calls?! I've been trying to reach you for hours, and don't come at me with some stupid fucking excuse, I'm so tired of that shit!" 

"Dad-" you tried to stop him from continuing throwing these words at you, but you knew about his anger, and you knew there was no way you were able to stop him.

"NO! I really thought I raised you better than that!" You closed your eyes and let the phone rest on the couch, your knees still the only support on the cold floor. His voice was loud enough, you didn't have to put him on speaker. "At first you embarrass me with that sudden office romance you've got going on with Wonwoo, and now you won't even tell me about a fucking lawsuit?! What kind of daughter are you?! This is not only embarrassing but even humiliating to me! What do you think this makes me look like, huh?! Have you thought about that?! I bet you haven't!"

"Dad, please-" your voice was too quiet for him to even hear.

"I don't know what the fuck is going on in that head of yours, but you better fix it, or I'm going to fix that position you're in. How dare you even believe you deserve that spot as COO. Jesus Christ...," he took a deep breath before continuing, "You fucked up, Y/N. You fucked up bad, I hope you know that. And I hope you know how-" The call suddenly ended. With your eyes still closed, you enjoyed the sudden moment of silence. You expected that reaction from him. You expected every harsh word that fell from his lips. But hearing them from the man you had to call your father... that hurt. Denying it wasn't helping. As much as you would've loved to pretend his words didn't hit you, you couldn't.

"Don't listen to him." The familiar deep voice spoke up from behind you, making you open your eyes. You stared at the bookshelf in front of you, only seeing the silhouette of the CEO getting closer from the corner of your eye. "He's mad and probably doesn't even know what he's saying." His comment made you let out a chuckle. A chuckle filled with hurt and pain. So much pain.

You lowered your head, "He knows exactly what he's saying." It was only then that you felt the tightness of your throat. It made you gulp.

"Y/N-" his soft tone was trying to comfort you, but you pushed it away.

"What do you need?" You changed the subject, still not facing him.

Wonwoo was silent. He took a few more steps closer to you, stopping in front of you and kneeling down. "My mother was worried because you said you'd be with us in a minute, and it's been a bit longer than that. She made me come check on you."

You quickly forced the corners of your lips to lift before running your hands through your hair to push it out of your face and lifted your head. That's when you found the man's worried eyes glued on you, expecting you to say something.

"Right," you nodded, "Sorry." You were about to push yourself back to stand up, but Wonwoo's hands on your wrists stopped you, your eyes immediately looking down at his touch, before going up again.

"Y/N-"

"I'm okay." You were quick to interrupt him, answering the question he didn't even ask. "It's okay. I'm good." 

For a second too long, his gaze interlocked with yours. He reached out with his hand, his palm stopping at your cheek to press against it gently as his thumb wiped away the tear that had made its way from your eye. A touch you would have never let happen weeks ago. Not even in your head, would you have let Wonwoo touch you that softly. But right then, your body almost betrayed you as you felt the need to lean into the warmth of his palm. 

You lowered your head in shame, not realising you had started crying, making him take his hand back.

Wonwoo gulped, "I'm sorry."

You raised your head in confusion at his statement, "What are you sorry for?"

He cleared his throat, "For not thinking about the consequences of not telling your father even though you wanted to tell him. I didn't think he'd react like that." His words were filled with honesty. His voice sounded like pure regret. Even in his eyes, you could see the sincerity behind everything he had said.

A sad smile formed on your lips as you slowly shook your head, "He would've reacted like this either way..." your voice getting shakier and shakier with each word, "He... he's already disappointed in me...for multiple reasons... one more won't hurt, right?" The theoretical question brought even more tears to your eyes as you locked with his gaze again. You pressed your lips together tightly, hoping to suppress them from shaking as the tears were dreading to spill. The whimper sat in the back of your throat just waiting to come out. Just like you had done many times before, you let your head fall back, trying to blink the tears back into your body before standing up, making Wonwoo do the same just a second later. He kept a concerned facial expression on you while you shook your head and tried to make yourself appear normal by fixing your hair and outfit.

"You don't have to-"

"I said, I'm okay," maybe by repeating them, you could convince yourself that you might actually were. When, in fact, you weren't.

"I wasn't about to ask you that," the CEO let you know, lowering his body down to pick up your bag and placing it on the couch, next to where your phone- where was it? It had been there only a few minutes ago.

You nodded and shifted your gaze down to your shoes, eyeing his feet that were coming closer to you, stopping only a few centimetres in front of you.

"I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to pretend that his words didn't just affect you."

You shrugged, "They didn't," and crossed your arms before looking up again after you didn't get an answer back from him. But as soon as you faced him again, he only glanced at you with raised eyebrows and his hands hidden away in his pockets. 

For a few seconds, there was nothing but silence. Nothing but the two of you, staring into each other's eyes, both knowing what you had just said was far from the truth, and both waiting for the other one to continue this conversation.

"So?" You started again, "For how much longer do you want to keep your mother alone?"

He breathed in some air through his teeth and made his way to your left, making you turn towards him, your back now facing the window wall behind you. "For as long as it takes you to admit that you're not okay," he eyed you, switching his gaze to something behind you for a second, "Besides, she's watching us anyways."

"What?!" Your eyes widened as you turned around to find the smiling woman's gaze longing at the two of you. "Oh, god," your head snapped back, and your hands immediately flew up to brush over your cheeks, hoping to wipe away any access trails the tears had left. "Okay, okay," you spoke mostly to yourself while looking around the room, trying to locate your phone. You patted down the side of your pants, thinking that you may have put it into your pockets without realising. But you didn't. You decided to ignore it and focused back on the man in the room,

"What do I do?" But he just looked at you confused and surprised.

"What do you mean?"

"With your mother," you nudged your head slightly towards her direction, "W-Who does she think I am? What does she think... we are?"

Wonwoo nodded at the sudden realisation of your question and leaned back against your desk, his arms crossed in front of his chest, "She thinks we're dating."

"But why?" You sent him a confused glance, "She... she mentioned something about her ex-husband..." and trailed off.

The CEO sighed, "My father told her." You continued looking at him with the same facial expression, making him continue with a smirk, "You remember the dinner? We're great actors." And then the last puzzle pieces snapped together.

"And he told his ex-wife about that...?" Your eyebrows scrunched as you let the scenario run through your head. What an interesting conversation to have with someone.

Wonwoo shrugged, "I'm surprised as well, trust me. The fact that he even dared to call her because of some bullshit like that. He knows he shouldn't, but that man doesn't care."

"He shouldn't what?" You wondered, but he brushed it off,

"Doesn't matter," and pushed himself off the desk, standing back steadily on both of his feet, "So?"

"Hm?" You hummed, wondering what he meant.

Suddenly a warm smile appeared on his face. A smile that caught all of your attention. It was kind. Welcoming. It felt comforting. Somewhat familiar.

"Are you okay?"

You caught yourself being caught off guard as your eyes lingered a little too long on his lips, making you shake your head and find his eyes quickly. A forced smile made its way to your mouth and your quiet voice filled the room, "As okay as I could be at this moment, I think."

The young CEO pressed his lips together and nodded, even if it was hesitantly, "I can accept that as an honest answer."

"You have to," you shot out before thinking well enough about what was gonna come out of your mouth. What even was that supposed to mean? 

Wonwoo grinned, taking a step closer to almost tower over you, "Oh, do I?" The close proximity of your bodies let your heartbeat quicken right away. Just like it did in the elevator when you went to meet him. Just like in front of the courtroom when he tried to comfort you. The same way as when he had put his hand on your shoulder for the first time. Or his hand on your lower back before he pulled you in closer as he swept you across the ballroom floor-

"Y/N?" His voice made you snap back into the present as you found his longing gaze on you. 

"What?" 

He chuckled at your reaction but kept his eyes closely on yours, the grin tickling his lips.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," you answered quickly, shaking your head maybe a little too fast, but you pushed that thought aside and were quick to turn around, walking towards the glass door. You opened it and motioned for him to walk out first. Wonwoo approached you with a smile before raising his arm to get a hold of the door above your head, holding it open and nudging for you to walk out first. You sent him a quick look that he just knew exactly what it meant. Still, you followed his order and stepped out, but waited for him to close the door, so the two of you would walk up to his mother side by side. 

The walk to his office was no longer than 15 seconds (if you walked slower than you usually would), but those few seconds felt like an eternity at that very moment. Having Wonwoo next to you was the only thing that kept you from turning around and leaving the building - your body assured you of that. 

He took a few bigger steps to be ahead of you, opened the door to his office and ushered you inside, where his mother had already been waiting for you, now sitting on one of the couches in the corner. You opened your mouth to excuse yourself for being late, but a familiar ringtone caught your attention. The sound of your phone ringing made you turn around to see where it was coming from. You came to sight with Wonwoo fishing it out of the inside pocket of his suit jacket, making you glance at him in confusion, but he didn't even raise his head to look at you. Only after he took a look at your screen, he dared to look up, meeting your eyes. You were about to walk up to him, raising your hand to get a hold of the phone, but he stopped you,

"Sorry, I'll be right back," and sent a nod to his mother, "I gotta take this call," before leaving the room again. Your eyes followed him until he had rounded the corner, making sure he was no longer in sight.

And there you were. Alone in a room with the mother of your CEO, or boyfriend as she thought. 

"Always so busy..." her soft voice filled your ears, "I told him to take it easy, but he won't ever listen to me." You turned around to give her a smile, followed by a chuckle. "Oh well," she returned it, "Maybe you'll have better luck with that."

"I'll try," you lied to her. Lied well. You had no other choice. That woman in front of you was ecstatic about the apparent idea that her son was in a committed relationship - and you weren't about to ruin that feeling of joy.

You had your eyes focused on the corner Wonwoo had just disappeared behind, not noticing the older woman getting closer to you. Only when her hand reached for yours was when you snapped back into the present situation you were stuck in.

"So please, Y/N," she made you follow her towards the two couches in the corner before she dragged you down to sit down right next to her, "I would love to know a bit more about you. I'm sure you must be an interesting individual if you have caught my son's eye."

You chuckled nervously, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that, to be honest," your gaze switching to the side in hopes of finding the man you were looking for.

"But I'm sure, love," she assured you with a pat on your knee, "I mean... you are the first girlfriend he ever introduced to me, so that must mean something, you know? I know, I did get here by myself, but I was expecting him to deny everything his father told me or maybe even tell me that he just wanted to annoy him by pretending to be in a relationship," her voice drifted into a sadder tone before she looked up again, meeting your eyes with one of the brightest smiles you have ever seen, "but I cannot explain to you how happy I am that that's not the case," she engulfed her hand in yours, giving it a tight squeeze, "So, tell me a little bit about yourself."

Oh no. Oh no no. This was bad. So bad. She was expecting this to be fake. Wonwoo could've just simply told her that she was right with her suspicion. But he didn't... that idiot didn't do it. And now you have to put on the best act you possibly could, to convince her of your and her son's happiness. You had to push all the nerves that had started to form in your stomach further down, suppressing them as well as possible and putting the fake smile on that had been carrying you through your entire career.

"Okay," you smiled at her, "Well... I... ehm...," you gulped. Fuck... this was going to be harder than you thought. Concentrate. 

You wanted to meet her gaze, but as soon as that happened, you were scared that she would be able to see right through your lies, so you decided to let your eyes travel around the room, holding still on her only for a few seconds.

"I've been working here for quite a while... way before Wonwoo and Mingyu took over. And... ehm," you cleared your throat, "But I've gotten the position as COO once they became CEOs."

"Oh, what were you before that?" She seemed truly interested in what you were telling her, somehow bringing you ease and making facing her a lot easier.

"President. My father made me the President," you answered her with a tight smile on your lips.

She looked enraged once the words had reached her ears, "Only president?!" The woman didn't shout, but it was clear how she felt about what you had told her. She scuffed, "Oh well, doesn't surprise me, thinking about what I've heard about your father." Once she had finished, it seemed like she realised what she had said as her facial expression changed in an instant, "Oh god, I'm so sorry," she covered her mouth with her hand, "I didn't mean to talk badly about your father, I hope you don't-"

"Don't worry, don't worry," you chuckled, instinctively reaching for her arm to hold, "I'm not on good terms with him anyways." For some reason, it felt okay to let her know that.

A relieved sigh left her lips, "Thank god not," she laughed, "I got so worried, I'm so sorry," she grabbed your hands once again, making you look her in the eyes, "I'm truly sorry that you had to work for him. Like that. Even if just half of the things I've heard are true... I don't want to imagine what it must've been like with him. I know how difficult men like that can be..."

You shrugged, "I lived." But it was so much more than that. You could've said so many more words, but you chose not to. 

"I did too," Chaewon sent you a sad smile, "But that doesn't mean that it was right, because it most certainly wasn't. I had to learn that the hard way..." as she went quiet for a second, you didn't interrupt the silence, feeling like there was more to come from her. But before she could continue, if she had wanted to, the two of you were interrupted by Wonwoo, who had come back in through the door, closing it on his way in.

The woman turned around, coming face to face with her son, her hands still around yours, "How did it go?"

"Huh?" The CEO seemed to have been caught off guard, breaking the gaze the two of you had been holding ever since he had walked in.

His mother grinned, nodding towards his hands that had a tight grip on your phone, "Your phone call. How did it go? Anything interesting?"

He made his way over to you, nodding in understanding, "Oh," he sat down on the other couch to your left, "No, not that interesting. Just... casualties." Your eyes never left his form. They continued following him all the way until he was sitting next to you, but even then you made sure to keep them on him. He noticed your wondering look and decided to interlock his gaze with yours again. "But I managed to clear everything. Nothing to worry about anymore." You knew he was answering his mother's question, but with his eyes so fixed on yours, you could feel the words not being directed towards her. Because there was nothing she had to worry about, there was nothing you had to worry about anymore.

"But I want to talk to you later, Y/N," he announced, catching you off guard at the mention of your name.

"Me?" You wondered, almost wanting to slap your face when you noticed how weird it sounded.

Wonwoo placed your phone on the coffee table right in front of you, never looking away from you, "Yeah. You." You nodded, showing him you understood what he had said. Even though you didn't. The moment felt like an out-of-body experience. Something just felt... off. Weird. You had never been in the same room as your boyfriend AND his mother. And now you were stuck with the man you had to pretend you were dating to your left and his overjoyed-by-the-news mother to your right. No wonder this didn't feel real. Even saying it in your head didn't sound right.

"Anyways," Mrs Jeon's clap echoed through the room, making Wonwoo's eyes change to her direction, "As I mentioned earlier, I want to get to know Y/N a little bit better," her hand found yours again, "And I thought that we could maybe do that over dinner. Tonight?"

Your eyebrows shot up as you looked at the CEO, who kept the calmest possible demeanour, "Mum-"

"Only if you're not busy, of course," she quickly added, falling into another one of her rants, that she seemed to have quite often, "I know, things right now might be a bit stressful, but you never know, maybe a quiet and comfortable nice dinner might just be the thing to help you out. I'm sorry if this comes off too strong, but I haven't seen you in over a year, and suddenly I'm getting thrown over with so many news, I hoped you would unders-"

"We'd love to."

You turned to the side to face her, your free hand coming up to wrap around hers. You hoped the smile on your face would ease her. "Right, Wonwoo?" with the same facial expression, you directed your question to the CEO on the other couch. In addition, you sent him a warning glance, raising your eyebrows just enough for him to see and for his mother to not notice. 

He quickly followed with a deep breath and a nod, "Of course. We have time, don't worry, mum."

A heavy and happy sigh left Chaewon's lips as she freed your hands from her grasp, "Oh, I'm glad," you could see her eyes shining again, "That makes me so happy. Alright then, I have a table reserved at 7, is that okay? If it's too early, we can-"

"It's perfect," you interrupted her, looking up at her as she had stood up, her bag in her hands again, "We'll be there."

"Great!" She clutched tighter onto the handle, "Wonwoo, I'll send you the address." He nodded in agreement before she continued, "And for now, I'll get going and leave you to your important business stuff," walking closer towards the door with a chuckle. The young CEO was quick to stand up and beat his mother to the door with his big steps, opening it before she could get a hold of the door handle. You stood up as well but decided to stay in your spot, following her with your gaze as she got closer and closer to the exit.

"It was very nice to meet you Y/N, I can't wait for tonight," she sent you a kind grin. Even with the extra wrinkles that appeared when she smiled, she somehow managed to look even younger. That's what living happily must do to you.

"Likewise, thank you Mrs- Chaewon," you corrected yourself, hoping she didn't catch your slip up, but her chuckle told you otherwise, "See you later," and waved her off.

The woman gave her son a quick hug, whispered something you sadly didn't catch into his ear, making him roll his eyes, and after another round of goodbyes, she left the office. Once she was out of the room, Wonwoo and you stayed still in the same spot. Your gazes travelled along with his mother, waiting for her to round the corner until she was out of sight. As soon as that happened, you let yourself fall onto the sofa with a big sigh tumbling from your lips. Before you could let your head fall back, you crouched forward, resting your elbows on your knees and holding onto your head with your hands.

"Jesus," you breathed out, "That was even more stressful than I imagined."

"Really?" Wonwoo wondered as he approached your form, filling the seat to your right that his mother had left empty. "You seemed awfully calm. Kinda worried a bit."

"Did I?" You straightened your back immediately, "Calm? Really?" His nod assured you, "Wow... I mean... I'm glad, because I feel like my heart," your hand flew up to touch your chest, "Is about to jump out." It was then that you realised just how fast it was beating and probably had been beating the entire time already.

"No, don't worry, you were doing better than expected," he admitted, leaning back to get comfortable on the couch. As you turned your body to face him better, your knee touched his. Both of you noticed it. Neither of you moved to change it.

You scrunched your eyebrows, "What do you mean 'better than expected'? What did you think I was gonna do?" The question was tickling your tongue, and nothing was holding you back from asking him.

Wonwoo chuckled, "Why did you agree to that dinner so quickly? I thought you didn't want to play along."

"I never said that," you snapped back without hesitation. Instead of answering verbally, the young CEO raised an eyebrow, making you scoff, "What? I was just surprised. I never said that I wouldn't play along."

"Alright," he simply nodded and thought the subject was done, but you had some more to say.

"And did you really think I would just break your mother's heart like that? Did you see the way her eyes lit up when she talked about us?"

A smirk slowly but surely made its way to Wonwoo's lips. He bit down on his bottom lip before opening his mouth, "Us? What us?"

"The us she thinks we are. The us that makes her eyes sparkle and her lips turn into such a beautiful smile. The most beautiful one a mother could have." You found yourself reminiscing in the memory of sitting next to her, feeling the comfort of her presence hugging you.

For a second, the CEO was quiet before he sat up straighter, "So basically you did it because you wanted to see her happy?"

"I guess so. I mean... what other reason would I have had to keep up this lie?" You answered him honestly, your mind somewhere else as could be heard by your voice.

Wonwoo shrugged, "I don't know, was just a question," and sighed. "So," he suddenly changed the subject and got up from his seating position, "Now that you've set up a date for us tonight-"

"Don't say it like that," you warned him, "That makes it sound weird." It made it sound real.

He chuckled, "What else should I call it?"

"I don't know," you mumbled, "Meet-up with your mother?"

"Alright," he nodded, "Now that you've set up a meet-up with my mum at 7pm, which is by the way during our work time, I'd love to hear how you expect us to be there and here at the same time?"

You stood up as well, taking a few steps to pass the coffee table, taking your phone with you, "We can just leave a little earlier. The guys will be fine without you and, just in case anything happens, Mingyu is still here."

Wonwoo looked at you in wonder, "You're just gonna ditch work?" Then scoffed, "I don't think your boss is gonna like that, you know?"

You smirked, "Well, tough luck then. I'm the COO and I'm saying that he and I are gonna get off work earlier so we can make his mother happy."

"Interesting," he raised his eyebrows while an amused grin played on his lips, "What a confident COO we have here." He reached into his pocket and got out his own phone before rounding his table, taking a seat on the big leather chair behind the desk, "Then I'm gonna call Hongseok and tell him he doesn't have to pick you up this evening."

"And he doesn't have to pick me up tomorrow morning either, tell him that too," you remembered that morning when you planned to get to work by subway, but were surprised by the CEO's driver waiting for you in front of your apartment complex. He assured you that he was here on request of Jeon Wonwoo and that he was not allowed to leave until you got into the car. "He didn't have to do it today either... Do you know how weird it is to just get picked up randomly?"

"He only came because I couldn't make it today, I'm sorry. I'll be there tomorrow again," he tried to assure you, but you quickly shut him down,

"No, that's not what I meant," your comment caught his attention and made him look up from the screen, "I also told you that I don't want anyone picking me up. I'm fine with using the public transport until I get a new car. I don't need a driver AND," you added right away as you saw him already opening his mouth, ready to say something, "I also don't need you to pick me up."

Wonwoo leaned back in his chair, a heavy sigh falling from his lips, "I told you I don't mind."

"And I told you I don't want it."

"What if I don't want you to use public transport. Imagine someone catching the COO of one of Seoul's biggest businesses taking the bus to work," another one of those eyebrow raises, gosh...

You shrugged and crossed your arms as you stood right in front of his desk, "Well... then they'll think I'm doing something good for the environment. We should do more about that anyways."

But Wonwoo only shook his head, "No. My COO isn't taking any kind of public transport. Not happening."

You scoffed at the use of his words, "Your COO?!"

"Yeah, my COO. Who else do you think you're working for?" He must've known he was testing your temper. He must've. There wasn't another reason you could've thought of as to why he would throw out a comment like that. 

You squinted your eyes at him, the fists your hands had formed tightening as you had to bite your tongue to hold back the statement playing on the tip of your tongue. You had two options there. Either, you don't hold back and another argument will break out because both of your personalities are too big for their own good. OR, you were going to be the bigger person, hold back all the things you would regret and get out of this situation quietly and just move on with the day. There was just one problem. And that was that the second option was never really there, thanks to your temper.

"Are you forgetting who you're talking to?" You snapped at the man, walking up to stop right in front of his desk. Wonwoo let go of his phone and set it down on the top of the table. He directed his gaze to you, looking up from his seated position, the corners of his lips curling slightly. He looked to the side with a chuckle, huffing out a little amount of air - he seemed gladly amused by your reaction as if it was right where he wanted to get you.

With a confident grin, he leaned back in his chair, his eyes gliding over your entire form. "I know exactly who I'm talking to, don't you worry."

"Then you should know when to shut your mouth," you kept an unamused facial expression, hoping he would get the message, but that fucking smirk on his lips was just a little too distracting, even for you to truly be annoyed.

"Why should I if I get to see you like this?" His question confused you. Was he getting that much of a thrill out of making you annoyed at him? Was he liking it that much? What was he trying to do...

You scrunched your eyebrows, "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

Instead of answering, he widened his grin, keeping his mouth shut, but his glance interlocked with yours. 

Something in the way he looked at you wanted you to smile like an idiot too, but you controlled it by letting out a salty chuckle, raising your hands in defence,

"I'm not giving into that. I'm not gonna be annoyed anymore."

"Sure you won't," Wonwoo nodded amusingly, blinking at you with that stupid smirk still plastered on his face.

Just when you were about to open your mouth, another snarky remark tickling your tongue, your phone in the pocket of your pants rang, catching your attention as you fished it out. A look at the screen made you let out a big huff of air, closing your eyes to contain your emotions.

The young CEO noticed your reaction, "Is it your dad?"

You nodded, "Obviously," and let your finger hover just a few millimetres over the 'accept' button, even though you knew you'd regret answering his call.

"Don't."

The deep voice made you look up, finding the dark eyes of the man in front of you immediately. He dropped his eyes down to the hand that was holding onto the phone before coming up again, staring into yours.

"Don't answer it."

Before this... he had your phone... and accepted it when it rang...

"Why?" You wondered, suddenly feeling the smallest amount of anxiety coming up in your body, "What did you do?" You followed his silhouette as he stood up, walked passed the desk and stopped in front of you. On his way, you had turned around, your ass now right at the edge of the table while he stood tall opposite of you.

He shook his head, "I didn't do anything. Just don't answer it." When you noticed him reaching forward, attempting to take the device out of your hold, you snatched your hand back, further away from him. He sighed in annoyance, but he was in no position to be the one irrigated by this situation.

"And who are you to tell me whose calls not to answer," your sharp tongue always acted before your brain could. Great character trait.

"You're boss, so give me the fucking phone," he tried to get a grasp of your phone once again, but you leaned back, extending your arm as far as possible. Another aggravated sigh, "Y/N, I swear to God..."

"You swear to God, what?" You raised your brows. Two can play that game. Both of you knew that, you've done it before. You've had moments like these before. This already felt familiar. If he could get a kick out of infuriating you, you could do the same to him.

Wonwoo lifted his head to meet your gaze. He didn't say anything. Just looked at you. Your phone was no longer ringing. There were no sounds anymore to fill the room and yet, it didn't feel quiet. You weren't sure where to look but decided to do just like him and just kept your eyes on him. Wonwoo had gotten dangerously close when he tried to reach for the phone the second time, and he hadn't backed away yet. One small lean in and your noses would've touched.

The moment that you shared in silence didn't feel long enough when he broke it with a deep sigh. Not an annoyed one. Just deep. You wondered why, but got your answer with his next action. His hands suddenly found your hips and he lifted you to sit on the desk. A gasp fell from your lips as your hands had reached for his arms for stability. His movement caught you off-guard. He surprised you once again.

Right after he had put you down, he let his hands rest on each side of you, leaning forward to lean in, getting closer to you for just the littlest amount.

"You really like playing smart, don't you?" His breath tickled your lips.

"I like getting proper answers, mister I-always-talk-in-some-kind-of-code," you sassied back, getting a chuckle out of him.

He shook his head softly, "Give me the phone Y/N. Please."

You only then noticed that your hands were still on his arms when you let go to hand him the device, this time not questioning his actions. He stood up straight, took it from your grasp and turned it around to ask you to unlock it.

"4596," you simply answered him, not even looking down at the phone as you told him your code.

Wonwoo put it in and started tapping on the screen. You noticed he had started texting someone and could already guess who it was. 

"I thought I made it clear," he mumbled, making it hard for you to understand him, but you caught it. It confused you, but you decided not to question him, mesmerized by the man standing in front of you. 

When he put it back down on the table next to you, your eyes followed his hand. You noticed the ring on his pinky and wondered how you had never caught that before.

"What did you do?" 

"Something that will hopefully keep him from calling you from now on," he let you know, his hands back on each side of you, but he wasn't leaning in as much as before.

You took a deep breath, "He's my father, I can't just ignore him-"

"He was disrespecting you. He talked to you in a way no father should ever talk to their daughter, and you still march to his tune. Hold yourself up higher. You're better than that."

The way he thought he knew you better than you did yourself infuriated you. "I'm not marching to his fucking tune. I just don't want to create useless arguments between us. I want to clear things up and move on. But with this way and just ignoring his calls, he's only gonna get angrier and-"

"And what?" He picked at your statement, "Who cares if he's angry? He's been angry before, he'll be angry in the future. He'll get over this because he's gonna find something or even someone else to shout at."

You shook your head, "You don't know him like I do."

"That's true," Wonwoo nodded, "I don't. And honestly... I don't want to. Because God knows what I'll do if I ever catch him talking to you like that when I'm in the same room as him." That caught you off guard. 

He let that statement roll off his tongue as if it was the most casual thing to say. His eyes were fixed on yours. Still. And he didn't even blink when he said it. He also didn't look away afterwards. He continued staring right into your soul, making you gulp. You had to break the eye contact, afraid of what could happen if you didn't.

"God," you sighed, "Why do you care so much about that..." your voice laced with something similar to irritation, but then again not really... because you weren't, you could never be. You were curious. You were wondering. He seemed so invested in something that had nothing to do with him and everything to do with you. 

Instead of answering, Wonwoo took a few steps back and made his way back behind his desk. You hated whenever he did that as it wasn't the first time.

"Wonwoo-"

"Just don't answer his calls, alright?" He interrupted you. You turned around to look at him again as he sat himself down in his chair, "You are under no obligation to listen to whatever that man has to say."

"And what if he suddenly shows up here? What the hell am I supposed to say then?!" It wasn't an impossible scene to happen. What your father wanted, he got - even if it was an argument with you. Even if it meant just showing up to shout at you. He would do that, you were convinced.

Wonwoo's attention was fixed on the computer when he answered, "I'm your boss, and I don't want my COO to be distracted by private calls during her work day."

You didn't correct him.

-

Shortly before the clock on your wall hit 7pm, there was a knock on the open glass door to your office. You looked away from your computer screen, and your eyes found the form of the CEO standing in the doorframe.

"You ready?" He asked you. You took a quick look at the clock in the corner of the screen and answered him with a smile and a nod,

"Yep." After closing the tabs you didn't need anymore, you shut down the PC and got up. While you scanned the desk for anything important you may leave behind, you noticed some files that were still spread out, making the space look messier than you wanted to, so you decided to collect them and put them into folders on the shelves next to you. As soon as you turned back around, Wonwoo had gotten closer to your desk, waiting patiently with your bag in one hand and your jacket in the other. You quickly made your way over to him, thanking him quietly for the gesture and took your belongings to yourself, carrying the bag over your shoulder and holding onto the jacket, knowing you wouldn't need it since you'd be in a car.

The two of you exited your office and made your way to the elevator, only making simple conversation.

"Did you tell Mingyu where you're going?" You wanted to know, remembering that you had mentioned him earlier in your conversation. Wonwoo nodded, at the same time the elevator had arrived, and he ushered you inside before entering as well.

"I told him we're meeting up with my mum," he simply answered you. Silence probably wouldn't have been awkward, or maybe it would have been... but you weren't about to test it, so you tried to keep the conversation up on your way down.

"What did he say?"

He turned to the side, raising one eyebrow at you, "About this? What was he supposed to say about it?"

You shrugged, "I don't know... kind of weird that I'm going out to eat with you and your mother... if I were him I'd be questioning it."

Wonwoo shook his head, a soft chuckle falling from his lips, that he hid by putting one finger on his lips, "No, he...," he straightened his back before continuing, "He was just mad that we didn't invite him."

"Has kind of become a casualty," you grinned, laughing to yourself in your head while your fingers tightened around the handle of your bag.

"What has?" Wonwoo questioned.

You turned your head, meeting his gaze, "You taking me to things instead of Mingyu... even though Mingyu would make more sense."

The CEO scrunched his eyebrows, "I mean... I don't know how believable Mingyu and I could fake being in a relationship." His comment made you chuckle and lower your head. Also true...

"I don't how believable we're gonna be if I'm being honest," your voice was laced with worry. Wonwoo caught that and immediately made you look at him, by moving his entire body to face you, leaning onto the wall behind him.

"We already convinced my dad. You have nothing to worry about anymore. It'll be easy," he tried to assure you, but it only helped so little.

"Easy...," you mumbled once the doors opened again, letting you into the garage where Wonwoo had parked his car.

Easy. This was going to be easy. 'It'll be easy', pff yeah, maybe for you... but it should also be for-

"Are you coming?" His familiar voice brought you back to the present as you snapped out of the mental conversation you had just had with yourself. Without answering, you followed him quickly, jogging a little to catch up with him.

Arrived at his car, Wonwoo made sure to go to the passenger side first, opening the door to let you step in. You stopped before getting in,

"I can open it myself, you know?" Turning your head ever so slightly, only then realising how close he was if you did that.

Your comment made him chuckle, "Yeah, I know. Come on," and nodded for you to get in. After making sure that you were sitting comfortably, he took his hand away from the upper doorframe where he had placed his hand as you had lowered your head to get in and closed the door to get to the driver's side of the car.

The short drive to the restaurant was spent quietly, listening to the sounds that the radio blessed you with. It was when you arrived at the restaurant, parking in front of it, when the nerves suddenly hit you. Wonwoo was about to step out, but you reached out to hold onto his forearm,

"Wait," you stopped him. His head snapped to you, glancing at you with worry filling his eyes. Before he could ask you what was going on, you continued your rant, "We should've thought about this better. W-we know nothing about each other. That's not what a couple does. Couples know each other inside and out. I don't even know what your favourite colour is, o-or... or your favourite food, or movie, or whatever. How the hell am I supposed to pretend to be a good girlfriend that your mother likes when I don't even know that stuff."

Suddenly you felt the warmth of his dry hand on top of yours as he moved it away from his arm to get a good hold of your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Probably black, anything without fish, but I really like Pizza, and Me Before You," he grinned, "anything else?" You looked into his eyes, waiting for him to laugh at your reaction as you continued to stare at him with a scared facial expression being replaced by a surprised one. You didn't have time to answer as the doors of the car were opened, revealing staff members of the restaurant that were waiting to be able to park the car.

Wonwoo let go of your hand and exited the vehicle, leaving you in the car too hesitant to get out. With a soft whine, you got out as well, clutching onto your bag tightly, leaving the jacket on the seat, not thinking about bringing it along. The young CEO was already waiting for you, standing patiently on the side. He took a step closer, and as soon as he was right next to you, he opened his arm, offering you to interlock yours with his. Without wasting another second, you just as he asked without using his words. You had been in a similar position before. The way you were standing next to each other wasn't foreign to you. 

Only a second later, you managed to feel just as comfortable as you did on the night of the event you had attended together. You also remembered that you had to be convincing, so interlacing your arms with each other but still standing enough far away from each other for another person to fit in between you, wasn't going to look very convincing. You took a step closer and let your other hand come up, holding onto his bicep. He didn't even budge. This felt natural. Maybe a little too natural. But you didn't mind. It felt nice with him next to you. Even walking up the stairs to the extremely fancy-looking restaurant didn't make you feel anxious. Not with him by your side.

At the entrance, the host for tonight greeted you with a smile. Wonwoo let him know about the reservation of his mother and their last name and you were let in, being brought to the table, where Jeon Chaewon was already waiting for you.

"Being on time was never one of your strong points, Wonwoo," she commented as she stood up, thanking the waiter.

He cleared his throat and freed your arm, making his way closer to her to hug her, "I'm sorry, mum, we couldn't leave the office earlier."

"I know, I was just kidding," she assured him with a chuckle, passing her son to walk up to you, her arms open wide, happy to greet you as well. "I'm so glad you managed to make time for this," she whispered into your ear before letting go and ushering you to take a seat at the table for four. You expected Wonwoo to sit down on the opposite side of the table but were surprised when he joined you on your side, taking the seat right next to you, while his mum sat down right in front of you.

"And," she started a conversation, "How was your work day?" You felt Wonwoo's eyes on you and could tell he had looked at you out of the corner of your eye, but you kept your head low, pretending to look at your nails, in hopes of him answering. You have nothing to be anxious about, you tried telling yourself. Even if you were to mess up, you were sure at this point that Wonwoo would manage to cover it up perfectly.

"And how was it for you, Y/N?" You looked up at the mention of your name, meeting the kind eyes of Chaewon as she smiled at you.

You nodded and managed to get a quick glance at Wonwoo, before looking back at her, "Good. All good. Nothing very interesting happened, to be honest."

You were thankful when the waiter arrived with the wine card, ready to take your order.

-

"So... have you been talking to your father?" Chaewon suddenly asked while the three of you were enjoying the third course of the night, the dessert. Wonwoo dropped the fork, making you direct your attention towards him. Your eyes immediately fell on the clenched fist on the table. He was clearly clenching it hard by the way his knuckles were slowly but surely turning white. Like a reflex, you put reached forward to place your hand on his and took it off the table. At first, you wanted to let your hands just hang in the air underneath the table, but out of comfort, you let them drop into your lap. Thanks to the smaller size of the table, you were sitting close enough without it looking awkward. Naturally, you let your thumb run across his knuckles, feeling his hand slowly getting looser.

He took a deep breath, "Why on earth would I be talking to him?"

"I don't know," his mother was quick to defend herself, "I was just surprised when he called me and randomly started telling me about you two. I was wondering how on earth he knew about that and thought that you maybe have told him."

"And why did you pick up the phone when he called, you know-" he started, but she interrupted him

"And you know how he reacts when I don't answer calls. I know you said to ignore them, but I can't do that to a man with a temper like his." Her words sounded familiar... very familiar. You scrunched your eyebrows but got distracted when you suddenly felt your hand getting engulfed in someone else's. Looking down, you found that Wonwoo had freed his hand of the tight fist he had formed, and replaced it with holding onto yours. But gently. Very gently. He wasn't squeezing it but keeping it tight enough to make sure you wouldn't let go. Now it was his turn to let his thumb travel across your fingers, brushing over them softly, almost sending a calm shover through your body as your eyes were fixed on your lap.

"But no," Wonwoo continued, "I'm not talking to him. And I won't," he looked over at you, catching you with your head still low, "He found out about us because Y/N's dad invited us to a dinner where he also brought him. Along with some other guests."

Chaewon nodded, "I see... so you've already met him, Y/N?" Directing the question at you. You lifted your head again, trying to block out the warmth of the other hand that was still holding onto yours.

"Yeah," you quickly answered her, "But... I didn't- I mean, we didn't... really talk to each other. I just saw him. From across the table."

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Of course. He can't even introduce himself to his son's girlfriend."

"Mum," Wonwoo suddenly mentioned her, his voice in the warning tone that you had already heard before.

By then you had realised that the topic of Jeon Jinyoung was something that you should avoid at all costs. It seemed to be a very touchy subject no one wanted to elaborate on. But that's what made it even more interesting to you... But you also knew that this wasn't the time nor space to find out more about the man Wonwoo called father. 

"So," you changed the subject, catching both of the other people at the table off guard, "How long are you staying, Chaewon?"

Her eyes lit up at the question, and the corners of her mouth curled up. She put the cutlery down and her elbows on the table to place her chin into her hands, "Well, I was planning on only staying until tomorrow. I really wanted to meet you and catch up with Wonwoo, but I would love to stay a little longer. Maybe we could do something together." You didn't expect that to come out of her mouth. Before you could answer, Wonwoo bet you to it,

"Where are you staying?" His eyebrows were scrunched up as he eyes his mother.

"I rented a room in a hotel, it's only for a night, but I'm sure I can extend-"

"Why didn't you call me? You could've stayed at my place" He didn't even let her finish. You felt his hand clench around your fingers again, making you put your other hand on top of it, hoping to ease him just a little bit.

Chaewon sighed with a smile, "Because I didn't want to disturb you two. And it's only for a night anyways."

"Mum," Wonwoo shook his head, clearly annoyed at her answer, "We don't- you wouldn't disturb us, please. Cancel that room, you're staying with me."

"You have one bedroom, Wonwoo," she reminded him, using her strict mother voice.

He nodded, "Yeah, I'm gonna take the couch."

"You can't just decide that Wonwoo, what about Y/N, you didn't even ask her," this made you shake your head immediately.

"Oh, no, no," you were quick to stop whatever was going to come out of either one of their mouths next, "We- we...," you glanced over at your pretend-boyfriend, who just kept an amused facial expression. He was enjoying this. "We don't- we don't live together. You can stay with him, it's no worries. Don't worry," you finished your rant with a nervous chuckle, feeling a tight squeeze from his hand, making you want to slap it away, but at the same time, you enjoyed the warmth of it and decided to keep it that way.

"But still, Y/N," she started again, "If you wanted to stay the night together, I don't want to-"

"Mum," Wonwoo repeated again with the same strict voice, "Don't. Please, I'm asking you to cancel that room. Or I will."

Chaewon looked at her son for a few seconds, silence overcoming the table before she sighed, "Jesus...," she shook her head as she got out her phone, going after the CEO's ask, "I don't know how you can handle him, Y/N."

You laughed nervously, tucking a strand of her behind your ear, looking down once again, "It's okay," hoping she hadn't caught it since your voice came out quieter than you intended to, and you weren't sure if there was an appropriate answer to her comment. But somebody else had heard it and chuckled at your words.

-

After assuring you over and over again that he in fact wasn't too drunk to drive home, you were on your way to Wonwoo's car. Somehow, and the alcohol in your system had definitely a lot to do with it, you let yourself get talked into coming along to Wonwoo's apartment by Chaewon, who wanted to spend some more time with you and, more importantly, drink more wine with you. You knew it wasn't a good idea. You would regret something about that decision, you were sure of it. But you had to play along, as Wonwoo reminded you. It'll be easy.

Thankfully, Jeon Chaewon was, very unlike her son, a bright and bubbly person, who somehow always found a topic to talk about. She filled the car ride with questions and topics, keeping you entertained and your worries in the far back of your brain. Talking to her seemed to become easier and easier with each minute you spent together. Like the comfort of a good mother, she made you feel at ease. The anxiety from the beginning of the date was long gone when you had reached Wonwoo's apartment and went up. But something else replaced those nerves. The memories. The memories of THAT night. The night that had started so well and ended dramatically, leaving you in anger and sadness. And the bad started right here in his apartment. You tried to push the reminders of that night away and begged for them to not return for as long as you were there. 

Right after you had entered the flat, Wonwoo informed his mother of the location of the wine and assured her to take whatever she wanted.

"Same goes for you too, of course," he turned his body towards you while he was looking down at his phone, sending a message to Hongseok to pick up Chaewon's bags from the hotel and bring them to his place.

You nodded hesitantly and didn't even bend down to get your shoes off, "This doesn't feel right," you commented quietly, hoping for the other woman to not overhear your conversation. 

This made him lift his head and put the phone into the back pocket of his pants as he got rid of his suit jacket, "What doesn't?"

"This," you motioned around, "You don't find it weird that I'm here?" You couldn't hold it back anymore.

Wonwoo grinned, "Well, you've been here before, so..."

"Yeah, and we know how that ended," you snapped back, not realising how sharp it sounded by accident. He nodded understandingly,

"Do you want to go home? Hongseok can bring you once he's here?"

You shook your head quickly, "No, stop, I told you, I don't want him to bring me anywhere."

"You're not coming in? Don't you want another glass too?" Chaewon looked around the corner into the hallway, three glasses in one hand and a bottle of white wine in the other.

"No no, don't worry, I'm coming," you assured her, making her nod happily and disappear again. And once again, your mouth was quicker than your brain. You closed your eyes and let out an annoyed huff of breath. The sound of a deep chuckle made you open them again, coming to sight with a clearly amused Wonwoo.

"I can't say no to her. Why can't I say no to her?" It was more of a rhetorical question, but he still answered with a smile.

"It's impossible, I know." Suddenly, he kneeled down in front of you and before you could question his actions, you felt his fingers move against your ankle. "Hold onto me," he tapped his shoulders, and you did as you were told.

He opened the clasp of your shoes, letting you step out of them slowly while you steadied yourself with your hand on his shoulder. You looked down. Your eyes fell on how gentle he was freeing your feet from your shoes, how careful he was with the buckle he had to open. "If you start feeling uncomfortable, let me know, and I'll get you home, alright?" 

You nodded softly and answered him with a whispered, "Yeah." After he got up again, he also reached for your bag, took it off you and brought it over to the dining table, placing it on top of it. Just like he did THAT night- no, stop. Stop thinking about that. Different times, different scenarios.

Chaewon was already waiting for you excitedly, gliding the glasses over the countertop, making it easier for you to reach them. You followed her into the kitchen and got a hold of one of the glasses, just like she did. The two of you waiter for Wonwoo to join you and clinked your glasses the second he got a hold of his.

-

Two wine bottles later, Chaewon had announced that she would be getting ready to go to bed, leaving Wonwoo and you alone on the couch in the living room. At this point, a blind person could have been able to tell how intoxicated you were. Your makeup was long gone, your hair had somehow gotten messed up, and you forgot at what point you thought it was a good idea to open the first two buttons of your blouse.

The two of you were sitting close together on the couch, his fireplace lit in the background behind the dining table while the TV was turned off. The room was as quiet as it could be, only the sounds of your breathing filled the room. 

"I'm gonna go," it was then when you decided to stand up, quickly realising that that hadn't been the best idea as you stumbled slightly. Wonwoo's reflexes were quick to catch you from falling back, holding you until he was sure that you weren't going to trip over. His hands left your body as you turned around to face him, "I'm gonna head home." His hand quickly reached up again, getting a grasp of yours, catching you off guard and making you turn towards him again. Your eyes fell down to your intertwined hands as he spoke,

"You can stay." But you shook your head, regretting it right away,

"No, I have to go home." You wanted to turn and walk towards the front door, but his grip on your hand tightened. Your eyes interlocked when you gazed at him again.

"Stay," he spoke softly, "Please." His eyes were glassy from the alcohol, and even his cheeks had turned into a softer shade of pink, and you couldn't take your eyes off him. This side of him was new to you. Not only drunk but also... this. So... soft.

You shook your head, "Wonwoo, you're drunk-"

"I'm not that drunk, trust me," he told you, still not letting go of your hand, but rather tugging on it gently, making you slightly stumble closer to him.

"You don't even realise what you're saying, Wonwoo-" a deep sigh coming from him made you stop. The young CEO threw his head back, looking up at the ceiling, letting out a deep but somewhat sad chuckle,

"Jesus..."

"What?" You wanted to know, stepping just a bit closer, by your own choice - you told yourself the alcohol had taken over your body, making decisions for you. You were lying to yourself, and you knew that.

Wonwoo tilted his head slightly, just enough to meet your gaze. He looked at you with a smile. A warm smile while he let his head rest against the back of the couch.

"You really don't know, huh?" If you weren't as drunk as you were, you could've sworn he sounded desperate - like he was about to wine. As if it hurt.

"Don't know what?" His question confused you. 

He kept the lazy grin on his lips.

"That I'm on my fucking knees for you, Y/N."

He didn't even care to look away. But neither did you. The two of you continued your conversation with your eyes because that's all you could get yourself to do after hearing those words from him.

I'm on my fucking knees for you.

"Everything you do," he suddenly continued, pulling you the last bit closer and sitting up straight, so he'd have you standing right between his legs. With his hands on your hips, he looked up at you, "Everything you say. I swear you have me wrapped around your fucking finger, and you don't even realise it."

You tried to look away. You tried so hard. But your body wouldn't let you. Your hands found his.

"Wonwoo, you're drunk-" No, he wasn't. You knew that. He had half as much to drink as you and had a much higher alcohol tolerance. You ignored him shaking his head. "You don't know what you're saying." Yes, he did. He wasn't intoxicated enough to forget or not realise what he had let come out of his mouth.

"On my knees, Y/N," he spoke again, his voice still as quiet as before. He pushed himself up, standing only a paper width away from you, towering over you as he cradled your face in his hands, "And I can't fucking do this."

"Do what?" You only let out a whisper, you didn't think you could've spoken any louder even if you had wanted to.

"This fake dating shit," he sighed with a shake of his head, "I thought it was a good idea. I have no idea why the fuck I thought it would be a good idea. But this is just bullshit. I can't do it."

He spoke with so much sincerity. If his hands hadn't been on your face, your legs would've given in already. Just to make sure, you wouldn't crumble at whatever words were going to come from him, you reached out to grab onto his arms.

"Wonwoo... I...," you wanted to say something so desperately. You wanted to shout something, to say something pure from your heart, but something was holding you back. You just couldn't get it out. "I don't..."

He shook his head, "I know that you might not understand or feel something like this," and looked down before meeting your gaze again, "And it's okay, Y/N. Don't feel obligated to say something now. I just needed you to know because I don't know for how much longer I could've done this." It truly felt like you weren't the only one that was about to fall apart right then and there. The way he was running his fingers over your cheek, staring into your eyes, never even wanting to break the eye contact, he must have felt a similar way. You knew there was no way any proper words would leave your mouth. Wonwoo had just... confessed to you, and you didn't know what to do. Your body suddenly shut down. Was he really saying this because he meant it? Does he need something? Does he want something? Why else would he just say that? But the words he had used...

On my fucking knees.

"You're going to regret that tomorrow," you spoke honestly. It didn't feel real. It didn't sound like something that would ever come from someone like Wonwoo. He was going to regret it. And you didn't want him to.

"I've never regretted anything in my life," he assured you with a soft facial expression, "And I could never regret this."

You let your actions, controlled by the alcohol in your system, speak for themselves and just threw yourself against his body, smashing your lips against his, making him tumble back onto the sofa. The second he was sat, you got onto his lap, wrapping your legs around each side of his hips. Your hands were on his hard chest, feeling the muscles move underneath his white button-down. His rough hands were still on your face, bringing you in closer and deeper if that was even possible anymore. Within only a few seconds and before you could tell them to stop, your hands were travelling down his body, going for the belt opening, but suddenly another hand stopped you. Your kiss got interrupted.

"No," Wonwoo look into your eyes, "Trust me, I really do want to take you in every goddamn way possible, Y/N. But you're drunk."

You quickly shook your head, "No, I'm not, I swear. Should I walk in a straight line?" You were about to get up, but his grip on your hips stopped you.

"Not tonight, Y/N. Not here, not now. I want to do this right." You weren't sure why exactly he had meant, but the only thing that mattered was that his voice was like a freaking melody to your ears. You could've come right then and there if we were being honest.

"I promise you," he continued, standing up with your legs wrapped around his torso as he carried you into the kitchen, "If you ask me to, I will take you in every way you could possibly imagine... But I can't do that now," and sat you down on the kitchen counter.

His hands were back on your face, brushing over your cheek and getting some hair out of your face to reveal your forehead. He leaned forward, and before you knew it, he had planted a kiss right above your eyebrows. You softly gasped at the soft touch. You didn't remember when the last could've been that you had a man touch you that gently. You tried to think of if anyone had ever touched you that gently. You couldn't think of a single time.

A deep breath left his lips once he was face to face with you again, "I really needed you to know..."

"But what am I supposed to do now? I don't know... what to say..." You could feel the slightest of quivers in the back of your throat, but you pushed them down with a gulp. It wasn't the time for tears.

His rough finger was laying softly against your cheek as he shook his head, "You don't have to say anything, princess. Don't say anything."

-

The two of you had fallen into a comfortable silence while you were still sitting on the counter, sipping on the tea Wonwoo had just made for you, while he was working on making himself a cup of coffee. It was three in the morning, who cares. By now, you had definitely sobered up a comfortable amount, and tea seemed to have helped you as the world wasn't spinning anymore. But one word from Wonwoo, and that could be changed very quickly once again.

"There's something I do regret," he suddenly spoke, making you look up, only to find his gaze already on your form.

You were confused, "Huh?"

Wonwoo filled up his cup and walked up to you, setting the cup down right next to you, "Earlier I told you there's nothing I regret in life," he took a deep breath, "But I lied. There is one thing."

"What is it?" You carefully wondered, wanting to know, but by his reaction, you got scared for the answer.

“I told her I hated her,” he took a sip of his coffee.

"Hate who?" You sat your own cup down, now invested in his story. He was opening up to you. For whatever reason... but you didn't question it. You were thankful.

 "My mum," he simply put it, not daring to look you in the eye, "“Without even knowing what was going on. That’s the one thing I do regret. That I regret the most in my life.”

“But everyone says that at some point to their parents without really thinking about it,” you tried to ease the tension, but you quickly realised how much deeper this conversation was about to be by Wonwoo’s demeanour and dead look in his eyes.

“Not that time," he lifted his head to glance at you, "She left. I didn’t know why and I just told her, I hated her when she had every right to leave that god-forbidden family.”

“Why did she leave?” You carefully wondered, genuinely concerned.

He took a deep breath and put both hands on the counter, and let his head drop forward slightly. Your hands were begging you to touch his shoulders in comfort.

“My father is a terrible man. Always has been, always will be. He didn’t care about my mother. Not in the slightest. The way he talked about her… is just… disgusting. But I was so young I didn’t realise just how bad it was.” He gulped, “He’s everything I don’t want to be. When I found out what had happened, I promised myself to be better than him in every way possible… he belittled my mother until she couldn’t take it anymore. I saw what it did to her. She just kept accepting it. She never defended herself. Not once. And that just made him keep going. That fucking bastard…”

“Wonwoo, I’m s-“

“I don’t need your pity,” he stopped you softly, “I wasn’t the one who suffered.” He took another big gulp, downing the rest of the warm liquid in one go even though it was probably still way too hot. That gave you time to answer, but you couldn’t find the right words.

He turned his head to you, finding your gaze quickly, “That’s why I don’t want you to take shit like that. You let yourself get talked down way too much.”

“I do NOT-“

“Yes, you do. Men make comments all the time and you just accept them.”

“I-… well…”

He raised his eyebrows, “You take everything that gets thrown at you. Every misogynistic comment, every harsh statement. From those bitch ass men. You shouldn’t let stuff like that just slide. Not even from asshole men like me.”

You couldn’t help but smile, “But you never belittled me.”

He nodded, “Maybe not that, but I did make you do some of the crappiest work someone could do.”

“And I did defend myself because of that!” You exclaimed, but he just shook his head, “Not enough, Y/N.”

You squinted after being quiet for a few seconds, “Are you teaching me about feminism right now?”

He let a chuckle escape his lips, laced with a hint of sadness, “Someone has to,” before locking eyes with you again, coming closer, “This might be a wild guess, but your father doesn’t faze me as one to talk to you about stuff like that.”

You smiled, “Your wild guess might be right.”

The two of you sat in another round of silence for a few more seconds before you continued, looking down at your fingers, “My father never wanted a daughter. I could tell that ever since I was little.” You sighed and tightened your grip on Wonwoo's hand the second he grasped yours, “He would kill to have a son like you," a salty chuckle tumbled from your lips, "Hell, he would kill me with his own hands if he was guaranteed a son like you.”

“Don’t say that,” Wonwoo’s voice was stern and strict, not liking a single word of what you had just said.

“It’s the truth,” you smiled sadly, feeling tears prickling in your eyes. “And I never wanted it either. I never wanted to take that path of work, but I didn’t have a choice. It was only ever us two, so when he suddenly had the idea of building up his own company, I had to help. I was what? 16? A 16-year-old girl shouldn’t have to worry about finances or the income of her father’s company and his business partners and whatnot. I didn’t attend most school events because I had to help him. No excursions, no prom.” You couldn’t help but to sniffle as you looked out of the window on the right, “That office... is the result of my work. I built it. Not him. Out of him wanting to do this and that became him telling me to do this and that. That prick didn’t even lift a finger most of the time. Everything there…” a sigh left your lips, your eyes down, fixed on your smaller hand in his, “That’s why I was so mad when he sold the company… to you.” Once you looked up, smiling sadly at the man next to you, you found him already looking at you, but with much more agony than before. “All of a sudden everything I worked for… was gone… ripped out of my hands without even telling me about it.”

“I’m sorry-“ Wonwoo began but you shook your head,

“I also don’t need your pity," and repeated his words.

“That’s not my pity. This is me being genuinely sorry about not knowing about this and taking everything away from you.” Suddenly, he brought your hand up to his lips, brushing his over your knuckles, placing the softest possible peck onto them. You didn't pull back. You couldn't.

“You didn’t take everything away from me… at least I’m still here…”

“You’re doing great.” He assured you all of a sudden, feeling like you needed to hear this and oh, how right he was, “You’re amazing at your job. And everyone would be more than lucky to have you work for them or with them.”

“Thanks.” And the tears fell. That was the first time someone has ever said that to you. Telling you, you did well.

You're doing great.

Wonwoo’s hand carefully reached out to touch the tears on your cheek, wiping them away softly as he smiled, “I guess fathers are just a little fucked up.”

You giggled, looking to the side to catch a glimpse of him, “A little?”

“Just a little bit,” he smiled back.

A few moments were spent in silence. Another comfortable silence. Neither of you had to say anything. You were just happy to be there. Together. There for each other.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you," Wonwoo broke the quietness.

You smiled and shrugged, "Well… now that I know about your intentions, I guess it’s fine. You just wanted to help me.”

“And did it?”

“Did it help the feminist in me?” You wondered, chuckling at his question. He nodded, making you smile. “You know… you tell me. I don’t know how feminist girl boss it is to fuck their boss in a janitor’s closet at the first event they attend together.”

He grinned, “And in his office, and almost in his apartment. Twice-“

“Alright!” You slapped his chest, giving him the perfect opportunity to get a new hold of your hand.

“I think that’s pretty feminist girl boss of you.” He stopped for a second before adding, “I never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth.” 

His comment made you laugh. Genuinely laugh. Maybe it was the last bit of alcohol in your system, but he actually made you laugh.

He looked at you wide-eyed, pleasantly surprised by the sudden exclamation of you. He did that. He made you laugh.

Taglist: @nctxtrash @leicy0756 @hoe4wonwoo @jeonwonhi @nothingbutadeadesceane @smileywoo @angelarin @onewoowonderboy @goodforgyu @kavvs @sugarmilkchan @sweetheart-gs @wonforgyu @lilactangerine @meltinghershey @wonw00t @soonchanshua @jayswifeuwu @allorysayshi @shaurenlaw @drama-1998-girl @yoonren07 @malakasae @sseuyeon @venusprada @jeminiepabo @billboard-singer @safsaf1980 @monmarguerite @ji-jii-visha @renjunphile @haogyuslut @destinyg237 @taestrwbrry @renkkuri @travelleratheart101 @love-svt @sunshinein17 @morklee02 @wonuziex @pwwarkjisung

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Khione!! I'm sorry it took me so long to finish reading this, but I'm so glad I did!!

I love soul mate fics, and you delivered on the angst!! My heart went out to Wonwoo for all his time spent lonely without a mark or his soul mate. And then all he went through after he did find them!

Joshua really is a sweet angel. For him to be so sweet and considerate when his soul mate was not sure how they felt and when they found Wonwoo is very much Joshua. At least how I feel he would be. You definitely chose well when choosing a Seventeen member.

Thank you for writing this and sharing it!! I am always grateful for you and your writing! ❤️

dear autumn / jeon wonwoo

➝ Wonwoo x Reader (ft. Joshua, Seungcheol, Mingyu, etc.)

➝ nonidol!au // angst???? // romance // fluff?????? // drama...ish??? // soulmate!au // somewhat past life!au

➝ word count: 18k (lol🧍🏻‍♀️) // playlist🎶

➝warnings: curses, lots of pov changes i'm sorry lol, i'm honestly not sure if the pace is a abrupt or not?, i'm not sure how you'll like this OC, she cries quite a lot towards the end sddfgd, that's about it i think

➝A/N: happy birthday, wonwoo❤ shoutout to @ahundredtimesover who's not even a carat but readily brainstormed with me when i asked🥺😭 also special thanks to @sleeplessdawn @twogyuu @savventeen for sparing your time to talk with me when i was unsure where to go with the plot💕💕 i'm gonna talk more on the author notes at the end instead of here. enjoy! hope you'll like this and don't hesitate to drop by and tell me what you think abt it even if you... don't like it sdjhfbsjhdf

In a world where everyone bears the soulmate mark to find the one heaven perfectly made for them, Wonwoo is an outlier with no marks in sight. But he has more pressing matters to attend to because he remembers his past life and the promise he made to his soulmate that he’d find her again no matter what. Alternatively, He didn’t think he’d be reborn in a world where you are made for someone else.

Wonwoo isn’t sure when it began. But he’s eighteen when he knows why they appeared and realizes that the memories in his head do not belong to his current lifetime.

They come to him through his dreams; sometimes long, sometimes short. At first, he thinks his mind is just playing games with him, but when he wakes up with an almost perfect recollection of whatever his older self in the dream did, he eventually realizes they aren’t simply dreams.

They’re his memories from another lifetime. Which one, he’s not sure. Wonwoo imagines they’re pieces of a puzzle–a very big one–making a bigger picture he doesn’t really understand at first until he does. Until it clicks one day why the dream has been getting longer and why he’s getting them in the first place.

He’s not himself when the dream happens, more like a shadow that watches from the sideline. He’s been seeing this older self of his for quite some time; he can’t be much older than he is now, probably in his mid twenties or so. 

It was weird at the beginning, knowing how he’d look (looked?) in the future (...in the past? Fuck, this is confusing), but it was even weirder to watch himself with a girl that he seemed to be so very much in love with. Not that he can’t blame his other self. They’re soulmates, after all, if the identical marks on their wrists mean anything.

The word doesn’t even sound bitter in his lips anymore, and he wonders if it ever was.

Sure, he used to question why he’s an outlier and why he deserved to have no one when everyone else around him has someone predestined for them–someone that the universe deems just right and someone that will complement them in ways unimaginable.

He’s never angry though. Just a little lonely.

It’s not easy to be surrounded by people who are happy with their fate, who have someone that they know is their person for as long as eternity allows them to live. People are subtle with their pity when it comes to him and Wonwoo would like to think it probably has to do with the fact that Wonwoo doesn’t seem bothered at all.

Outliers aren’t that rare; perhaps one every one hundred people or so, and they’re not ostracized from society, just that they need to handle the pitiful looks every now and then–which never stops being annoying.

Wonwoo knows there’s a community for people like him though he has never been one to seek companies. He’s fine the way he is. He’d attend their gatherings when it’s one of the rare days he feels like being social, but he doesn’t attend enough to feel any kind of kinship towards them. They’re just some people who he somewhat sympathizes with.

Naturally, it means the community becomes a place where people try to find their romantic partner. After all, it is frowned upon if you try to date someone with a soulmate even if they haven’t met their other half.

…Which makes it awkward when they break up because even if the community isn’t very small, they’re still a minority and they need to stick together.

Hence, Wonwoo never really bothers.

It’s not like he’s into the concept of romance. When he was a kid, it simply didn’t appeal to him. During high school, games were more worthy of his time than anything. And during university… How could he when he’s been dreaming of the same girl over and over again? Any other romance potential simply didn’t register in his mind. His parents, who obviously had no idea about the dreams, tried to talk to him about it; to try dating and find love but quickly changed their insistence once they realized their son wasn’t too bothered himself. 

He doesn’t even know if she’s alive in this lifetime, and yet…

“You’re really moving, huh?” Seungcheol brings him out of his mind, reminds him that he’s packing and he needs to get things done.

“They knew I’d be the one most willing to move away.” He shrugs. “Everyone else has their significant other here. Pretty sure they asked Namjoon first but with his pregnant wife and all–yeah.”

“I’m sure you’re still a choice because you’re competent.” The older guy reassures him. “What do you need me to do to help?”

“Help me throw away those bags in the living room, please.”

“Got it.”

Five minutes later, Seungcheol pops back into his bedroom.

“Are you throwing this away too?”

Wonwoo looks at the postcard in his hands, a look of recognition passes through his face before he takes it from him before he says he’s keeping it. The older guy throws him a curious look, but Wonwoo doesn’t offer any explanation so he leaves him be and returns to the living room.

“Autumn, huh.” He mutters to himself as he stares at the rows of yellow trees and ginkgo leaves adorning the ground on the postcard.

Autumn in the city is beautiful, Wonwoo has heard. He doesn’t know how it would be more beautiful there than here with the buildings and the busy lifestyle, but perhaps he’ll take the time to find out now that he’s moving there.

Maybe he’ll find out once he’s seen it himself.

And maybe…

Maybe he’ll also–

“Should we have some jjajangmyeon for lunch? I’m starving, man. Think I’d be able to eat two servings and an entire plate of dumplings. What about ordering some shrimp also? I think–”

Yeah.

Maybe.

Four months pass by in a blink and July comes around.

The city life is better than Wonwoo expected, but it’s not like he has any particular expectations to begin with. He’s a twenty six years old doing a regular job, living a regular life. He doesn’t have any grand plans in life, doesn’t strive to climb the corporate ladder nor make any difference in the world.

By theory, he should be some kind of a main character: an outlier with no soulmate mark and memories of a past life? Wonwoo would’ve written a book had he possessed any sort of literature gifts. But he can even barely express himself, let alone pour them into writings, so there goes his spotlight. 

Plus, it’s not like he has ever told anyone about the memories. He tries looking things up online, and except for some ridiculous claims that were eventually proved to be false, he barely finds anything about it that would help. And if he could find nothing in the wonderful, vast world that is the internet, he doubts he would find answers in the real world.

So he’s just another guy. Another Jeon Wonwoo in the sea of people that would pass by people’s lives and lots would forget about.

And he doesn’t mind.

He really doesn’t.

But if there’s anything he could wish for…

He looks down at the small birthday cake his brother has ordered from the delivery app for him on behalf of his parents, the package greeting him in front of his door when he has just gotten back from work. He doesn’t really celebrate his birthdays, and usually only does so if the people around him encourage him to, namely Seungcheol and his family.

Though, now that he’s actually by himself in a city he’s still trying to get familiar with, it does feel a little lonely to be celebrating it alone, if you can even call it that. At least there’s a cake from his family and he might as well keep up with the tradition.

He lights up the ‘27’ candle and stares at it for a few seconds before he closes his eyes and makes a wish. A familiar smile he’s only seen in his dreams flashes through his mind, the warmth of the small fire blankets his face for a few seconds before it goes out.

I hope I can find you… whoever you are.

He dreams of another memory that night.

But, for the first time, he’s not watching from the sideline. The love of his life is pressed to his side as she urges him to blow the candle and make a wish. She takes his face while hers scrunch up into a smile, wishing him ‘happy birthday’ that he doesn’t think is the first that day before leaning in to kiss him on the lips.

He catches a glimpse of the single ginkgo leaf on her right wrist, the same exact thing on his left.

Wonwoo wakes up with a jolt before he could taste her lips against his, a thunderstorm outside his window and another inside his heart.

Despite being born in the season, Wonwoo isn’t fond of summer.

It’s too hot and there’s almost nothing he can do about it. He would’ve stayed inside 24/7 if he could, but that’s out of the question because he needs to go to the office and the amount of people in the public transportation is not something he looks forward to.

He doesn’t like winter for basically the same reason: it’s too fucking cold.

Spring and autumn are nice. But Wonwoo has a pollen allergy so he can’t enjoy the blooming season even if he wants to.

So if someone asks what his favorite season is, he always says autumn.

Wonwoo isn’t sentimental enough to actually have opinions about seasons. Like he said, he doesn’t like summer and winter because they’re extremely hot and cold respectively. He doesn’t mind spring but he has pollen allergies. And so he’s left with autumn.

It’s all just practical.

But, if there’s one season that actually means something… it’d also be autumn. And it doesn’t even have much to do with the actual season. It’s the memories it carries.

Yeah, that’s what he’ll call it.

Memories.

Because no matter what–

“Get going, will you?” Someone grumbles and goes past him.

Right, another reason why he hates summer. People get (rightfully) annoyed all the time and everyone wants to hang out near the Han river, him being one of them.

What can he do? He was already outside due to prior meetings, it’s hot, and being near the body of water sounds like a good idea if there’s any. He just happens to be in the area and he supposes why not. It’s been quite some time since he’s spent some time outside by himself, anyway.

At least he’s by himself so it’ll be much easier to find a seat. –Or so he assumes as he sighs,  still trying to look for an empty spot to sit down ten minutes later. He doesn’t find any, if only because the only one-person spots available are surrounded by couples making googly eyes at each other.

Eventually, he finds one a little further away and settles there with his plastic bag filled with a canned highball and a bag of chips. It’s only somewhere after two in the afternoon, a weird time to be drinking alcohol, but he sighs blissfully at the first sip and stares mindlessly at the people around him.

He likes people watching, though he doesn’t make any grand scenarios about them in his head; simply thinks about how he’s only one of many in the sea of people. That he can be special but he chooses not to be. On the contrary, he likes to pretend that he’s normal; that he has a mark somewhere hidden on his body and he just simply hasn’t met his soulmate. That his dreams are simply dreams.

Or maybe they are nothing but dreams.

Maybe he’s simply thinking too much about them.

Maybe he’s just projecting the ideal life he’d have had he not been an outlier.

He blinks.

Why… had he not considered that before?

Sure, he feels too strongly about them (and Wonwoo isn’t even an emotional person) and is way too conscious because they feel real, but what if his head really is just messing with him? What if they really are just illusions and–

“Hey, sorry, do you mind if I sit here? Everywhere else is full and you’re the only one by yourself so…”

Wonwoo looks up at the weirdly familiar voice, freezing when he recognizes the person in front of him at once, the word coming out of his mouth before he even can stop himself.

“Autumn?”

Surprise colors your face at the name, your head empty because you honestly have no idea what to think. You don’t even have it in you to be suspecting, just very fascinated and somewhat nostalgic in the matter of seconds.

It’s been some time since someone calls you ‘Autumn’; the nickname that your late grandfather would always call you by because he said it’s his favorite season and you’re his sweetest grandchild. A few of your relatives adopted the name even though they outgrew it almost immediately after your grandfather passed. You’ve never told anyone outside the family about the nickname, not even your closest friends, as you’d like to keep it dear to your heart.

And it still stings to think about it after his passing ten years ago.

Several seconds–minutes?–pass like that, with you and this stranger looking at each other, mouth a little ajar, unsure what to say. But he breaks the silence first, shakes his head before he apologizes.

“Uh, sorry. You just–umm, uh, look like someone I know. You can sit down, sure.”

You nod and whisper a ‘thanks’, holding back the urge to ask him about his friend who apparently looks like you and shares your old nickname. But the silence that looms over you both is a little suffocating, and your usual extroverted self who never hesitates to talk to new people seems to die in front of him as you ponder if it’s okay to start a conversation with this handsome stranger.

Perhaps it’s just the weird interaction earlier, you think to yourself, the memory of your grandfather and your favorite nickname that no one except your family knows filling your chest with warmth. The last time you heard someone referred to you by that name was probably a decade ago, and to be referred to ‘Autumn’ again after so long… you wonder if you should’ve told someone about it if it inflicts this much fondness within you.

Or maybe it wouldn’t be so special if you had.

“So you have a friend who looks like me and is called ‘Autumn’, huh?” You try to maintain a confident smile, pray that you’re simply imagining the slight shake in your voice.

The stranger flinches a little, a gesture that you’re not sure what to make of, but then he nods and offers you an awkward smile. “Yeah, something like that.”

“You know, it used to be some sort of my nickname as a kid.” You’re not sure why you’re telling him this, but you are and it’s almost comical the way his lips open a little in surprise before he mutters a small ‘I see’. You offer your name to him, and thank him once again for letting you share his spot.

“Don’t mind it.” He smiles tightly before returning the gesture, and you can’t help but wonder why the name Jeon Wonwoo rings something in your head even though you’re sure you haven’t met this guy. You’re pretty good when it comes to remembering names and faces. You’ve never had any friends called Wonwoo, though you recall there were probably some people from your year in school and university who share his name. 

Never a Jeon though. And he doesn’t look familiar at all, so you’re sure he’s not a friend of a friend that you might’ve seen in passing either, but… why does he feel familiar?

You shake your head before you let go of the thought, and then rummages through your bag to look for your drink. You take everything out of the way only to find your bottle lying sadly at the very bottom of your tote bag, when you look up again, you see Wonwoo glancing at the book you’ve put on the table.

On Soulmates: Love without Commitment

Xu Minghao

You hope the way you put everything back to your bag is subtle, like you’re not trying to hide the book you’ve been reading and the glimpse into your mind that people can easily decipher from your choice of literature alone. His face doesn’t tell you anything though, and it’s his next question that gets your heart beating in irregular beats.

“It’s quite the book, isn’t it?” He takes a sip from his can. “Gave me insights that I didn’t know I needed.”

“Right!” You reply with exaggerated enthusiasm. But can anyone blame you? Anyone who catches you reading that book always gives you the side eye, some people who are frontal even asked why you’re reading something that sounds as stupid as a flat earth. “I haven’t finished, but it’s so interesting to read why the author thinks soulmates aren’t it because it doesn’t give you a choice and everything about the relationship is a given. That perhaps the love that people who don’t have the soulmate marks might be purer because they choose to love and they put effort into it. I’m currently on chapter 7 and–”

You stop when you realize you’re rambling, words of apology on the top of your tongue when you see Wonwoo tilting his head in question. Not in judgement because you’re enthusiastic about it. Not in annoyance because you talk too much when it hasn’t even been twenty minutes since you’ve met him.

“Why are you stopping?” He asks, further making you speechless with the genuine interest in his voice. “Chapter 7 is about fate and destiny, isn’t it?”

You cough a little to hide your flustered face, a little too excited to finally find someone that isn’t against you reading this essay. You’ve been wanting to talk about it with someone–anyone–, all those hours you’ve spent on countless communities online with people who share the same sentiment as you not being enough.

“Yeah. I’m almost done with the chapter, though I haven’t been able to pick it up again these days.”

Wonwoo hums, seemingly deep in thought before he asks you again. “What do you think about it?”

“Fate and destiny?”

“Yeah.”

“I think it’s bullshit.”

He looks at you in surprise; whether it’s because of your choice of words or because of your opinion, you don’t know. But he doesn’t look like he’s going to jump at you for having such an opinion, so you continue even though he didn't ask you to.

“I’d hate to think that someone–something out there has enough power to decide what’s going to happen to us moving forward. That everything we do is predestined and that we have no choice whatsoever in life because it’s fated to be and it’s thanks to the universe that something happens a certain way.” And then you add, your voice comparably smaller as you suddenly realize you’re being too open with this stranger. “It feels… confining…”

He nods as he opens his bag of chips, putting it right in the middle as if telling you it’s okay to take some.

“I agree.” He doesn’t meet your eyes as he says this, looking straight over the Han river like he’ll find an actual answer there. “If it’s true, it’s very cruel for some people to know that their life is fated to be miserable and can do nothing but accept it.”

“Right? And, personally, I don’t know how I feel about the soulmates concept. You know how in the book it says that soulmates might take each other for granted because they’re meant to be together? Or that they simply accept the other person because, apparently, they’re their person? What if the universe messed up and you’re paired with a serial killer or something?”

Wonwoo looks at you alarmed, and you laugh before you say that you’re just speaking in general. He hesitates before he asks, unsure about where you actually are when it comes to soulmates. Are you this opinionated because you don’t have a soulmate? His heart skips a beat at the thought of it; or perhaps you simply hate the idea of it regardless. But before he can actually ask the question, his eyes fall to the side of your neck, and he notices the strings of flowers on the side of your neck, something that you also notice–so you clear your throat to dart his attention away.

“You feel… strongly about it, don’t you?” Wonwoo settles it at that, not wanting to offend you somehow. He doesn’t deny the mixed feeling in his heart as he realizes what it means. You have a soulmate. Even though there’s a chance that you don’t want them, you still have a soulmate and whatever feeling that’s brewing on the pit of his stomach, it’s not a good one.

What was he expecting, anyway? That if somehow he found you in this lifetime–which he did, what the fuck. It’s you who found him, even–you’d happily take him in your arms? The bitter taste on his mouth is getting worse by the seconds, only now realizing that even though he’s been wishing he’d find you, he never has any real plan about what to do if he actually did.

It helps that he doesn’t actually think he would, so he can hold on to it like a dream that would never come true. Something he holds dear in his heart but doesn’t really need to take responsibility for because it’s not going to happen. Something that somewhat keeps him going and some sort of wishful thinking.

You shrug, not offering any explanation.

He doesn’t press.

“I think.” He begins, looking at you this time, and if anyone ever asks, you’re going to deny the way your heartbeat picks up and up and up the more he looks into your eyes, your face getting hot like a high school girl with a crush. “You can always go against your destiny if that’s what you choose to do. If fate and destiny actually exist, who is there to say that what the universe has decided for you is your best path? Perhaps it’s just one of many and you can try taking another road to see if you’ll like it more. Even if they exist, it doesn’t mean you have to follow them all the time.”

You lay in bed thinking about his words that night, wondering if it’s as easy as he makes it to be to get away from your path and try a new one.

You dream of Wonwoo, a birthday cake, and a ginkgo leaf mark that you’re sure was not on Wonwoo’s wrist when you saw him earlier that day.

You wake up wishing you’ll meet him again.

Joshua, you’ve always known, is the ideal partner that anyone could ask for. He’s sweet, he takes care of you well, is respectful, and you honestly feel bad for not returning even half of what he feels for you.

You love him, you really do, but you don’t think what you feel for him is strong enough to be considered in the same league with the love that people believe soulmates should have for each other. It’s nowhere near there.

You love him, he’s very important to you, and you’ll drop anything for him if he needs you. But you know something’s wrong when Joshua starts talking about living together, marriage, and family, and dread is the only thing that fills your chest.

You know something’s wrong when you don’t feel the butterfly nor the fireworks that everyone–and you mean everyone–says they experience when they meet their soulmates.

It was nothing like that for you; you knew he’s your soulmate, and if there’s anything right about what people said regarding your first meeting, it’s true that it just clicked that it’s your soulmate in front of you. But your heartbeat picked up for all the wrong reasons that didn’t have anything to do with rush of excitement nor romantic expectation. You were a little anxious, even, but you couldn’t do anything when Joshua immediately recognized the feeling once his eyes met yours and he ran to you like he’d give you the world right that very second.

There was nothing magical about it.

You’re not sure how you feel either about the universe giving you the perfect partner by theory, but also somehow shaping you into a person that believes the whole soulmate thing is bullshit. It doesn’t seem to matter whether Joshua notices your lack of romantic reciprocation or not, because Joshua still treats you like you’re the love of his life and he looks at you like you’re his whole galaxy.

Or perhaps he mistakes the way you care for him as romance?

What a fucking drama you live in.

“What got you thinking?” You blink at his voice, and Joshua looks at you amused as he settles right beside you despite the heaps of empty space on your sofa. “You’ve been zoning out a lot these days.”

“Have I?” You ask, accepting the way his arm automatically goes behind you on top of the sofa head. You like his warmth, you really do. You like–no–you admit that you love a lot of things about Joshua and you’re glad you met him even though you absolutely abhor the soulmate system.

You love his eyes, the way they seem to stare into your soul and are able to tell what’s inside your mind most of the time.

You love his hands, they always know to wrap around yours when you need it most, pull you closer when you stray away because something distracts you along the way.

You love his voice, so calm and soothing that you would ask him to talk you to sleep through the phone on nights sleep refuses to find you, the way he’ll hum when he’s in a good mood though he never actually sings in front of you because he says he can’t carry an actual tune otherwise. (Two years since you’ve found each other and you’re still on a mission to make him sing because you just knew he sings well.)

But, most of all, you love the way he treats you.

The way he’ll ask if he’s not sure what you want him to do, the way he’ll carefully thread through your mood when the day hasn’t been good, and the way he gives you space even if he wants to be near you all the time.

He respects you. Not only as his soulmate but also as a person, and you can’t thank him enough for that.

Perhaps that’s why it hurts much more now; why guilt is eating you inside out because you can only think about Wonwoo and his words when Joshua is right next to you, his thigh pressed against yours and his thumb caressing your shoulder over your shirt.

If fate and destiny actually exist, who is there to say that what the universe has decided for you is your best path? 

You force back the tears before they can actually form, gulping before you tell him it’s nothing.

“Should we go out?”

“Where?”

“Hmmm. Namsan? We can take a walk, get you off your mind.” His smile is kind, and you feel like crying again because of how considerate Joshua is. He doesn’t even ask, doesn’t push even once just in case you’ll crack. He simply accepts that you don’t want to talk about it and offers you something that might help.

Why the fuck aren’t you in love with him when he’s your soulmate and he’s as perfect as someone could be?

His arms envelop you and thrust you into his chest before you could break, and you manage to hold it for three full seconds before the tears stubbornly fall and you whimper softly into his hold. Joshua doesn't say anything, doesn’t hush you and asks if you’re okay.

No.

He accepts that you’re not okay and you don’t want to tell him about it. That you’re crying and he feel so fucking useless because he can’t do anything to help you with it.

That you’re hiding something from him that’s possibly making you cry even though you never did before. 

Still, he holds you close and lets you cry.

You grasp the front of his shirt as you try your best to stop your tears. You don’t even know why you’re crying this much, but you suppose between the stressful week and the whole Wonwoo situation, the guilt combined with Joshua’s innocent look trigger something within you.

“I’ll just get you some water.” He whispers against your head once you’ve calmed down, squeezes your shoulder and then lets you go. He’s back not even a minute later, and you thank him as you take your mug, embarrassed when you wipe the remaining of your tears off your face. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” You manage to whisper, too embarrassed to even look him in the eyes. 

His smile is meant to be comforting, but thinking yet again about the reason why you even cried to begin with, it only makes your heart squeezes painfully.

“You probably need it. You know I won’t judge.” He caresses your cheek as if to make sure to get rid of all traces of tears there. He searches for your face, as if he can tell what’s inside your mind just by doing so, and for a moment, you’re afraid that he really can; that he’ll see the man that you’ve met once some time last week clouding your mind like there’s no tomorrow.  “Do you want to go for a walk anyway? Perhaps you need to get out of the house for a bit?”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” You reach up to circle your fingers around his wrist, smiling back at him because despite everything, you’re still thankful that the universe thinks you’re deserving of someone like him. You’re still thankful that you get to be on the receiving end of his affection.

Joshua leans forward to kiss your forehead, lingering for a good few seconds before he tells you to get ready.

It doesn’t take you too long to get ready, nor does it take long for you two to arrive at Namsan. Climbing the stairs to get to the park, Joshua asks instead if you’re willing to just go further up to get to the peak where the tower is. You’re not exactly dressed for climbing (though it’s really just stairs, stairs, and more stairs), nor are you in the mood for it, but you think exhausting your body is just what you might just need so you can pass out the moment you reach your bed later on.

He extends his hand, and you take it with a smile despite the pinch in your heart. You spend the first ten minutes in silence, hand in hand as you ascend up the seemingly never-ending stairs.

Already out of breath, you begin to doubt your decision of climbing up when Joshua speaks. 

“I haven’t gone here in so long.” Undeniably, it’s a very nice weather out. You being out of breath has more to do with your lack of exercise on a daily basis more than anything, but even in your predicament you can still appreciate the night view around you. As much as you feel like dying right now, you know you don’t actually regret it.

“Yeah? Me too.” You grip his hand tighter for support, then ask if you could rest for a bit when you see a rest stop. Joshua laughs as you ask this, though he nods and hands you a piece of chocolate the moment you both sit down on an empty bench overlooking Seoul from where you’re at.

“You’re a lifesaver.” You moan as you take a bite of the chocolate, leaning your head on his shoulder and stretching your legs. “I haven’t climbed in so long. My legs will fall tomorrow, I’m sure.”

“I’ll run a bath for you before I go home tonight.”

You try to trample the way your heartbeat picks up; not because you’re fluttered, but because you’re once again eaten with guilt by how perfect Joshua really is. He doesn’t exactly know how you feel about soulmates; you’re not cruel enough to say things right to his face. 

But you know for sure that he’s aware of your choice of literature.

He doesn’t comment on them, and you try not to read them when he’s around. But he once caught you reading on your phone over your shoulder and you sheepishly said you simply find those essays interesting.

Joshua isn’t stupid, knows that there’s a reason why you find them interesting, but he chooses to be in ignorant bliss and says you’re free to read whatever you want and there’s no need to justify yourself to him of all people.

Yeah, because it’s totally normal that your soulmate is interested in reading essays on why soulmates are bullshits.

Forty minutes later with some short breaks along the way, you finally reach the top. There aren’t as many people, and you walk around for a bit to let your legs relax before finding yet another bench to sit on.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been here at night.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm. Sure is different from being here during the day.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Joshua agrees, his palm absentmindedly caresses your thigh as if it helps relieve your sore muscle.

“Should we have some cup ramyeons?” You suggest, pointing to the convenience store you pass by earlier. “I think I can do some if I share with you.”

Joshua nods, but before he can offer to go, you tell him he can rest instead.

“I’ll go get it. Should I buy two or are you fine just sharing one with me?”

“Two is fine.”

“And the usual drink?”

“And the usual drink.” He grins. “You sure you can take everything by yourself?”

You roll your eyes in mock annoyance, exhaling a ‘duh’ as you tell him to just wait.

Pleased that the convenience store isn’t crowded either, you hum as you go through the snack isles instead. Knowing yourself, you’ll probably only eat two thirds of the cup ramyeon and wolf down the snack instead if you buy some; but you don’t see why not because Joshua’s there to finish your food anyway. Plus, it’s a nice night out and that’s enough to justify your choice of dinner.

Juggling two big cups of instant noodles, a packet of cheese, a hotbar, and a bag of shrimp chips isn’t your talent, but you manage and you drop them on the cashier before quickly telling the cashier you’re just going to grab a drink real quick.

Almost bumping into the person behind you, your apology is stuck in your throat once you realize who’s the person exactly.

What the fuck.

“Oh…” Wonwoo says in surprise, the words seemingly out of his mouth before he even realizes. “Hi…?”

You give him an awkward smile and nod before quickly going to the drink aisle. Apologizing once again to the cashier who’s still scanning your purchase (and to Wonwoo) once you return even though it’s barely been five seconds.

“Need help?” Wonwoo says good-naturedly, gesturing to the amount of things you’ve just bought.

“Hey, I–”

Wonwoo looks at you staring between him and the guy who has just entered. Getting the hints immediately that his help isn’t needed, he smiles before paying for his stuff and leaves the convenience store.

He looks spitefully at the night sky, it’s so unnecessarily pretty too, unsure if he wants to curse whatever’s up there that of all days he decides to go outside, he just has to see you again. With another guy at that. He doesn’t want to jump to conclusions. The guy could simply be your friend for all he knew.

But if there’s one thing that is Wonwoo, he’s quick to put pieces together. From your panicked glance and the way you tense when you see him, he knows. Perhaps it’s also just intuition. But he just knew that man, whoever he is, is the one that heaven has decided to be the one for you.

He exhales a deep breath before finding a secluded place somewhere behind a tree, carefully hidden to minimize any chance of being seen by you (or seeing you with your soulmate). He would’ve immediately left if he could, but he’s only arrived and it feels like it’s such a waste for him to leave just like that despite the situation.

What even is the situation?

He’s been thinking a lot since he met you, if he wants to seek you out again and what he wants to do if he does. The thought is no longer so much of a wishful thinking like it used to be. He knows you exist now. You’re actually living, you’re real, and you have a soulmate that is not him.

It sounds so much like an exaggeration, but he’s never felt so empty after going home that night, thinking about you and your soulmate. Do you live together? Do you care about him regardless of your stance on the whole soulmate thing? Does he treat you well? Does he get to hold you while you sleep? Does he–Fuck.

Wonwoo hates being like this, and he’d love to say it’s gotten better the more time passes by, but it has only gotten even worse because his dream is getting longer and even more prominent since meeting you. And what he hates most is he’s started to feel more and more strongly about you even through his dreams.

What is one supposed to do when they fall in love with an illusion that has a counterpart living in the realm of reality? He’s pretty sure no one would have the answer.

He glances up at the sound of faint laughter, seemingly so loud in the silent night, or perhaps he simply picks it up because he knows exactly who it belongs to before he even sees you. He bites his lip at the scene he’s witnessing: you, laughing with your soulmate at god knows what.

He can’t blame the guy for looking at you like you hold the universe for him. After all, Wonwoo would probably do exactly the same thing had he been given the chance. His past self from another life could vouch for that.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, he’s not sure, you end up sitting a good distance away from where he’s at, your back facing him as you settle beside the man destined to be with you. You’re not too far that he can’t see your side profile, which gets his heart both squeezing in pain and fluttering at the same time.

He doesn’t even know that was possible.

Wonwoo looks far to the distance, at the endless night sky that’s so unnecessarily full of stars today of all day. He wants to think the universe is mocking him, playing a joke on him for being alone by himself on such a beautiful night, making him watch you laughing with your soulmate as the cherry on top.

But he knows he’s not that special.

He’s just one of many; his misery wouldn’t be all that amusing for the universe.

Scoffing at the thought of the universe, he lowers his eyes from the sky only to accidentally meet yours.

Is this the work of the universe too?

Nah, he shouldn’t give too much credit to the damn thing. But, then again, blaming it for every single thing that went wrong in his life has proved to be some kind of comfort if he’s being completely honest.

You offer him a small smile anyway, not even waiting for him to return the gesture.

It hurts still to see you with your soulmate, sharing food and talking about what he assumes to be nothing and everything. But as he lays in bed that night and thinks about your smile, he admits that if the universe lets him meet you in this lifetime, perhaps it isn’t so bad, after all.

Wonwoo has always liked the number three.

Third’s time the charm and all that jazz. He doesn’t hold on to it religiously, just some fun little routine that he finds amusing. When he takes an item in a grocery store, he takes the third one from the front; when he goes to the convenience store because he needs one (1) thing, he takes two small snacks so it’s three items in total; on the rare days when Wonwoo feels like trying a new drink in a cafe, he’d just choose the third item in the menu.

It’s fun.

Today, Wonwoo’s supposed to meet Mingyu for a little get together. He’s the first friend he’s made in Seoul, a guy that’s a little too flashy for his liking but is still a good person nevertheless and definitely a much better company than most people that he’s made to be acquainted with in the new city. 

He’s not too excited about the invitation, but doesn’t see why he should turn the younger guy down when he has no plan during the weekend, and, as much as he loves staying inside, the four walls of his apartment is starting to feel a little suffocating because it’s almost been a month since that night he randomly went to Namsan and saw you, and… he hasn’t gone out for anything that’s not a necessity since then.

So when Mingyu asks for the third time since they got to know each other if he wants to join him on a night out or not, he decides he should also appreciate the guy’s persistence despite already being turned down twice before.

Anyway.

He was supposed to meet him for a little get together. Apparently, Mingyu’s version of ‘a little get together’ is to invite a group of friends that Wonwoo obviously doesn’t know for dinner and only notifying him of the additional party thirty minutes before their promised time.

He exhales. It’s too late for him to bail. Right now, his hope is only as high as the ground: he simply wishes he wouldn’t return home socially exhausted.

It’s a small pizza diner inside an alleyway where they promised to meet. And Mingyu along with his friends thankfully arrive at the same time as him so Wonwoo wouldn’t need to go inside and look around like a fool, wondering where his table full of strangers and a slightly familiar friend is.

He’s not close enough with Mingyu to say he’s comfortable around him, but he’s still the most familiar face between the four faces in front of him so he decides sitting next to Mingyu is the best choice. Thankfully, the younger guy doesn’t seem to be the type to push him to interact with new people immediately.

Thirty minutes into dinner, Wonwoo can tell Mingyu probably brings these friends around because he thinks Wonwoo needs to meet new people (or maybe he thinks it’ll be awkward if it’s just the two of them?). It’s easy to tell that he’s brought the friendliest people who’s just loud enough, who understand that Wonwoo’s quiet but still able to naturally included him in conversations without making him feel bad about being, well, quiet (god knows how many people have tried to make him feel bad for staying quiet during conversations).

Jungkook is a friend from high school, he’s learned, apparently one of Mingyu’s closest friends. Jeonghan is a senior from his previous company; someone that he didn’t know he’d end up being close with because, at first, Jeonghan was obviously just someone he had to work together with. Jisoo, he finds out later on, is Jungkook’s ex-girlfriend before he found his soulmate, though they treasure their friendship too much to cut each other off.

Except for Jungkook, the other two friends seem a little unconventional and Wonwoo doesn’t understand how Mingyu ends up being close enough with them to go out together like this.

He doesn’t ask.

“We’re planning on bar hopping.” Mingyu tells him, and Wonwoo feels dread fill his chest at what this might imply until Mingyu adds, “You’re free to leave if you don’t want to go with us though! I understand it might not be everyone’s thing.”

Weirdly, Wonwoo now wants to go because he’s been given the freedom of choice. Plus, at least he knows he’d be surrounded by these people and he can go home at any time if he wants to.

“What kind of bar?”

“Definitely not clubs pretending to be a bar.” Mingyu jokes. “Maybe wine or cocktail bars?”

“Sure, I’ll come then.” Wonwoo shrugs, then tells Mingyu he’ll probably return home first if he and his friends are planning to go until morning, to which Mingyu nods and says that it’s no problem at all.

Wonwoo doesn’t really understand the concept of bar hopping. He’s always been curious about it, but never curious enough to actually do it. So he supposes it’s also his curiosity that pushes him to say yes. He kind of wants to see what it’s all about and he doesn’t think he’d have another opportunity where he might remotely enjoy the experience if not now.

The first cocktail bar isn’t that great, if only because the place is small and it feels like everyone can hear what they’re talking about. They each have one drink and immediately leave for the next one. They go to a wine bar, and Wonwoo is pleased to know the alcohol in his system (and the current company, he’s sure) has made him more relaxed than he had been the past week. 

After an hour or so, Mingyu decides he’s had too much energy and asks if it’s okay to move to an open bar that’s not as noisy as a club but is still noisy enough for people to enjoy the music and fill the dancing floor.

Normally, Wonwoo would say no. But he surprisingly still has enough social battery and thinks might as well go all out while he’s at it. It’s not often that he’s in a social mood.

The bar is a little too noisy for Wonwoo’s liking, though the half part of the building has no roof so it’s not too loud nor suffocating. After ordering their drinks, Mingyu and Jungkook head to the dance floor. Jisoo and Jeonghan stay at the table with him; Jisoo says she’s not really in the mood to dance while Jeonghan says his soulmate is picking him up in a bit so he’s just going to stick around til then.

It’s thirty minutes later that he leaves and Wonwoo’s now left alone with Jisoo. It’s not uncomfortable, but it is a little awkward and Jisoo seems to share the sentiment as she tries to find topics to talk about.

They end up talking about literature and movies, and Wonwoo has to lean forward to be able to listen to her clearly over the music until she eventually moves to sit next to him so they can talk easier. He notices Jungkook glancing every now and then, and when Jisoo follows his gaze, she chuckles a little and shakes her head.

“Sorry. It’s just a habit of his, don’t mind him.”

Wonwoo blinks, unsure. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I know a lot of people find his stares uncomfortable.” She shrugs. “He’s just protective of me. It’s nothing, I promise.”

Wonwoo’s not nosy. But between the alcohol in his system, his remote curiosity, and the way Jisoo looks like she wants to talk about it, he kindly throws the bait.

A subtle one, though.

“How did you end up being close with Mingyu?”

“Through Kook, at first.” Mingyu and Jeonghan don’t refer to Jungkook with that name, he notes. And a part of him wonders if it’s a nickname that Jisoo has for him or if it’s just how his girl friends call him. “We dated before. But we broke up because, well, he found his soulmate and… Mingyu was kind enough to keep me company and made sure I was okay after the whole ordeal. I’m not sure why he felt the need to do that, but I’m thankful regardless. So… yeah.”

He bites the question about soulmates. Doesn’t ask why they tried dating each other if they knew they aren’t soulmates, but he does wonder about how she must’ve felt or how she’s feeling right now. He can’t exactly compare his situation with hers, because as much as he’s going through a… heartbreak, it’s somewhat onesided while Jisoo actually had a relationship with Jungkook.

And she still has to be friends with him.

He doesn’t know if it’s the universe or Jungkook that is cruel.

Or perhaps Jisoo is a masochist.

Apparently, she’s also very honest when she’s tipsy.

“I’m an outlier.” She smiles bitterly after downing a shot, then she pulls up the sleeve of her cardigan and shows him what he assumes to be a trace of a soulmate mark; a faint outline of a snowflake that’s barely visible unless you actually take a look at her wrist. “I hav–had a soulmate. They died before I even met them and that’s why the mark… burned.”

Her chuckle is nowhere near amused when Wonwoo’s eyes widen in surprise, and she answers before he even asks as she pulls down the sleeve of her cardigan.

“It literally burned. I was sixteen; and I was out with Jungkook getting ice cream when it started to burn and he had to witness me being all hysterical, crying as I told him my wrist burnt and it felt like it’s going to fall off.” She doesn’t look bitter at all as she talks about this, just very sad and perhaps even a tad bit nostalgic. “He was fourteen. A little shorter than I was at that point, but he tried his best to tug me to a secluded place so people wouldn’t stare despite my struggle because everything hurt and I just felt like crying, hugged me to muffle my scream, and stayed with me for hours after that even though I was just zoning out, not saying anything.”

Wonwoo isn’t sure if it’s a story for him to hear; but Jisoo looks like she needs it (or is it just the alcohol?) and the least he could do is to listen. At least he can rest easy knowing this story wouldn’t be going anywhere else.

“I knew what happened even though I didn’t know by theory. I could feel it; felt the connection that was only faintly there just… gone. Jungkook took me home and told my parents about what happened. Of course they knew what it meant and they thanked him before sending him home. I couldn’t really talk for weeks, the emptiness and the burn were too prominent for me to be doing anything. My parents told the school I was sick so I was dismissed from classes.”

She pauses, and for the first time, Wonwoo can tell exactly what she’s feeling: she’s numb and she’s exhausted. There’s no trace of tears in her eyes. They’re void of anything and Wonwoo suddenly feels an odd sense of affinity the more he listens to her.

“Jungkook… stopped by everyday even though he didn’t know what actually happened. He probably had an idea, but he didn’t press and he talked to me about anything and everything even if I didn’t say anything–said from the beginning that I didn’t need to answer, that he’d do all the talking for me.”

Wonwoo doesn’t need to listen to the rest of the story to know why Jisoo still treasures Jungkook as…, well, whatever she regards him as right now. He doesn’t want her to talk about more sad things like how she ended up dating him and how she broke up with him, so he offers her what he could: honesty and a change of topic.

Even if it’s only a little.

“I’m an outlier also.” He says quietly that Jisoo almost misses it. “Doesn’t have a soulmate but… it’s complicated.”

Thankfully, Jisoo doesn’t pry, simply takes another shot and offers a cheer to him.

“Sucks to be us.” 

It’s weird, but Wonwoo finds himself chuckling before he takes his own drink and clinks his glass to hers and takes a sip of his highball.

“Sucks to be us.”

His mind wanders to you, thinking if he could stand being in Jisoo’s place had it been like that for him. He had only seen you with your soulmate from afar, had only talked to you once, and it hurts anyway.

Why is he cursed with the memories of his previous life, again?

He’s been mentally restless since that night. How could he not when he keeps on seeing you everywhere? His dreams are getting more and more prominent and so are his feelings. He keeps on thinking he sees you somewhere–everywhere–only to realize it’s not you, just ghosts of you haunting him in every person that he sees.

How fucking stupid, falling in love with a series of images and illusions.

Drinking the rest of his drink, he shakes his head and winces at the alcohol and at how his mind is playing tricks once again. Perhaps drinking alcohol hasn’t been the best option if he ends up imagining you even here between the blurry images of people.

Fuck, he’s down bad.

In such perfect timing, Mingyu and Jungkook return to the table, so Wonwoo leaves Jisoo with them and excuses himself to the restroom. He looks at himself in the mirror, and then looks at his phone only to realize it’s already almost one in the morning. Perhaps it’s time he goes home; the talk he’s shared with Jisoo proves to be more mentally exhausting than he thinks it is.

He almost bumps into someone on his way out, hands reaching out to the person in front of him in reflex only to let go just as quick once he sees your face once again. Christ, is he that drunk? He really needs to go home.

That version of you is very pretty too, fuck.

“Uh… Wonwoo?” He’s even imagining your voice now? “Are you… okay?”

He looks up in alarm once he realizes you’re real. It’s actually you in front of him and you’re not a figment of his imagination. He opens his mouth to say something, but someone bumps into you hard and you tumble into his chest.

Wonwoo’s breath is caught in his throat at the turn of events, but his arm catches you anyway and glares at the guy before he looks down and asks if you’re okay. You look as flustered as he’s feeling, and he hopes the loud music is enough to cover the sound of his heartbeat.

“You’re okay?” It’s stupid how disappointment fills his chest the moment you step away, a sense of longing already making its way to his heart.

He needs to get away.

“I—yeah.” You look unsure and Wonwoo doesn’t like how your body screams uneasiness.

“Are you by yourself?”

“No?” Now you sound unsure, and even though Wonwoo is also another stranger in the sea of strangers, he thinks he trusts himself better than any other people here to help you if you don’t want to be here. “Well, I was with my friend but she… yeah.”

You’re biting your lip, as if afraid he’d scold you (Why would he? He’s not your boyfriend (Wait. No. Back pedal, back pedal)). Fuck, fuck, fuck. He swallows hard to calm himself down; this is not the time to imagine what it’d be like to be your boyfriend.

“Come on.” He says as calmly as possible, his fingers balled into a fist to stop himself from taking your hand in his. He considers bringing you to his table, but he doesn’t know how he should introduce you to his party so he quickly texts Mingyu he’s going home because something turns up before he leads you out of the club.

It’s silence filling you two despite the somewhat noisy alley you’re walking through, and you don’t know Wonwoo enough to be able to tell if he’s pissed or what; but he does seem tense and you’re the one uncomfortable with the unnerving silence.

“I’m–I’m sorry.” You try to open a conversation. Wonwoo stops in his tracks and turns to you in confusion. “You were probably there to have fun or something… Sorry I made you get me out of there.”

He shakes his head, and your heart relaxes when he smiles a little. “It’s fine. About time I go back anyway. Do you mind if we stop by a convenience store for a bit?”

It’s then that you realize you’ve been blindly following him. You don’t even know the guy. You’ve met him twice before, and your second meeting barely even lasts five minutes, yet you readily follow him because you know you’ll be more comfortable with him than there–more safe, more… secure.

Fuck, you didn’t even ask him where he’s taking you earlier. It was almost automatic the way you followed his steps. You try to convince yourself that it’s his familiarity that makes you feel safe. Because even if you don’t know him that well, his face is still one imprinted in your head so it’s normal that you’d feel safer than you would with any other person in that club.

Plus, you’ve talked to him once before and he at least passed the vibe check, right?

But as you pile these thoughts in your head, trying to justify the uncalled feeling of security this stranger brings you, deep down you know why exactly your anxiety seeps away at the sight of him earlier, why your shoulders drop down in relief, and why your chest is no longer filled with dread. 

“Here, have this.”

That’s why. You think to yourself.

Wonwoo isn’t smiling at you, but there’s a kind of warmth that he radiates as he hands you a drink and ushers you to sit on the table in front of the convenience store. There’s a certain warmth that reaches you as he sits in front of you and places a hot bun on the table, pushes it towards you without saying anything.

You watch him slot his hands into the pocket of his jackets, and you suddenly wonder if he gets cold easily. It’s not that cold outside, though you suppose it is one in the morning and the wind picks up a little at times like this.

“Thanks.” You mumble as you wrap your fingers around the small bottle of warm honey water. You can’t help but smile at the drink of his choice, a little funny how he didn’t get you a hot chocolate or tea; something most people would usually get. “Can I ask why honey?”

He blinks, as if not getting what you’re talking about until you hold up the glass bottle for him to see.

Wonwoo panics a little. He has bought the drink without thinking, a part of his mind that stores the information about you from his dream making him do so. In fact, it was only yesterday that he dreamt of you drinking one.

The dream is still vivid in his mind. He dreamt of you sleeping, and he assumed he was trying to sleep himself when you jolted awake out of nowhere, eyes frantic and hands flailing around looking for him. He saw himself whispering words of comfort to you, and he saw you burying yourself into him like there’s any space between the two of you before he pulled away and said he’d get you some drink from the kitchen.

You had smiled weakly at the sight of your favorite drink, a warm honey water that always comforted you at nights like this.

“Do you not like it? I can get you something else if you want?”

“No, it’s fine.” You smile, something inside you blooming dangerously at his words and what you may or may not be implying with yours. “Just… I usually drink those too. Some of my friends judge me for that.”

He’s more surprised about the fact that you share this with your past self more than anything, but, still, he asks. “Huh? Why?”

“Just because it’s unusual, I suppose.” Shrugging, you proceed to open the lid and take a sip. “Not a lot of people drink this, you know? Or, at least, they drink it cold. I prefer it warm.”

He wonders if you share anything else with your past self. So far, there’s been two: Autumn and this drink. Would you be suspicious if he threw it out there? Would you freak out?

“Someone I know eats watermelon only if it’s frozen; I’m sure it's just a preference on your part.”

You smile shyly as you answer him, an image that’s forever burned into his mind. “I do that also.”

His mind runs a thousand hundred scenarios of what this could mean, wonders if it’s simply a coincidence or if the universe is on to something.

“Aren’t you special,” he smiles tightly, hoping  that you don’t catch upon his awkwardness.

“Thank you for putting it that way.” The sound of your laughter makes him want to be selfish; to drag out conversations and spend as much time as possible with you even though he knows you have a soulmate. Is it considered cheating like this? Is he immoral for wanting this? “My friends also judge me because I don’t like cheese cake, cheese sauce and anything cheese flavored even though I don’t mind an actual cheese.”

“You… don’t like cheese cake?” Wonwoo blinked, unsure if he heard right. He wasn’t a cheese lover or anything, but he didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone who grimaced at the word ‘cheese cake’.

“They’re too… cheesy.”

“Autumn, it’s called cheese cake for a reason.”

“And the texture… yuck.” You grimaced before telling him to stop talking about it before you lose your appetite.

“Are you judging me too?” Your voice snaps him out of his gaze, and he blinks a few times before he shakes his head no. This can’t be good, fuck. It’s been less than 10 minutes since he’s been talking to you, and yet his heartbeat is out of control and the fact that you share a lot of things with the illusion of yourself that he’s developed an attachment for isn’t good at all. 

He tries his best to remind himself that his feeling isn’t real; that perhaps he’s too blinded by something that he’s been holding on to and he doesn’t know what to do now that it’s somewhat changing. That he’s confused and he shouldn’t do anything that would cause him further confusion.

But with you in front of him, as real as you can be, smiling and launching into a bunch of topics that is actually dear to his heart, he can’t help but indulge his feelings and bask in your presence, in your smile and your voice, in the sound of your laughter and the way you lean forward so you can speak to him better, a habit that he notices the you in his dream also had.

So he lets go.

Whatever consequence that awaits him, he’ll face it when it comes. Right now, he just wants to pretend like you don’t have a soulmate who’s probably waiting for you back home–who may be worried sick because you haven’t looked at your phone even once since the moment he sits down in front of you. 

Wonwoo isn’t usually selfish and he hopes that the universe will let him go this one time for wanting to be–for wanting to keep you to himself even for a limited time. Even if you aren’t aware of it.

This chance might not come again, he tells himself. The chance of talking to you under the stars in front of a random convenience store at ungodly hours, like you’re just two people talking to each other–like soulmates isn’t a thing and he’s free to feel whatever it is he’s feeling.

He wants this, he realizes as his eyes flicker down to your lips for a few seconds, subtle enough for you to miss. He wants a real memory of you. Something real that he can keep to his heart, something that isn’t a part of his dream and a fragment of his memories. And even though he’d go home feeling empty and he’d curse himself tomorrow, it doesn’t matter because what matters now is that you’re here with him and he’s going to take as much as you’re willing to give him.

“I’ve finished reading the book, by the way.” You open another topic. A controversial one, if you may say so yourself, and you know deep down what you’re trying to do by saying this even though you’ll deny it if anyone asks.

“Oh yeah? How do you find it?”

“I think I agree with most of what he said.” You bite your lip, your mind wandering to Joshua for the first time since you saw Wonwoo. “I just… I don’t know. I’m not anti soulmate, I just don’t see why you should succumb to your… instincts? Feelings? And simply accept your soulmate without thinking too much about it.”

Wonwoo doesn’t say anything for a moment and you wonder if he disagrees with you or if he’s simply gathering his thoughts. He seems thoughtful, perhaps trying to find words that won’t offend you before he offers you his opinion.

“Can I ask why you started thinking that way?” he asks instead, and it’s your turn to be silent and arrange your words.

Because you don’t know. 

You can’t tell since when do you feel this strongly about the soulmate situation. You used to be quite indifferent about it, not having any opinion whatsoever though you sure weren’t as excited as the other kids your age when it came to romanticizing anything about soulmates.

Your friends would talk about their dream scenarios of the first meeting with their soulmates, or they would go on and on about looking forward to meeting them.

But you were never that excited.

It was just another thing in your life: like eating ice cream or trying out a new cafe. There’s nothing so special about it.

“I think…” You contemplate, wondering if you want to be that honest with this beautiful, familiar stranger in front of you. “It was when I met my soulmate?”

Wonwoo seems surprised, probably not sure how to interpret your words and you don’t blame him at all.

“Sorry?”

“You know how people say that there are… fireworks? And butterflies? Just those big, grandiose feelings blooming inside your chest at once when you meet your soulmate?” He nods, trying to see where you’re going with this. “Well, I… didn’t feel those when I met mine. Sure, it all made sense and it just kinda… clicked in my head. Like a moment of eureka, if you will. But I wasn’t… excited or anything of the sort. If anything, my heartbeat picked up because I was anxious, already worried about what he might expect of me and all that.”

You refuse to look at Wonwoo. You’re not sure what kind of answer that you expect from him, but he doesn’t seem like he’d judge and, between the ungodly hour and the little alcohol that’s left in your system, it feels relieving to finally be able to say this out loud. 

You’ve never been able to. Not only because people would call you crazy, but because you know no one wouldn’t not judge you for it.

But here in front of Wonwoo… Jeon Wonwoo who you’ve only met for the third time in your life, you feel safe for reasons that you can’t comprehend. 

So you continue. You’ll blame it on the alcohol tomorrow morning, even though you know you’re not intoxicated enough for it to be the case. You’ll justify yourself by saying Wonwoo isn’t a friend and he knows no one in your life–that if this goes south, you technically wouldn’t lose anything.

Yeah.

That’s how you’ll go down this road.

“I mean… I love him, you know?” You would’ve seen Wonwoo’s face drop had you not been busy staring at your nails, still too afraid to look at him despite the resolve you’ve made. “But not… that way.”

“Like… platonic?” Wonwoo offers, careful.

“Yeah…” You bite your lip, trying to stop the tears that suddenly blur your eyes. “Like platonic.”

You hate yourself for the way your heart lightens at your own words. Because even though it’s something that you’ve thought of once before, you bury it so deep somewhere you can’t reach. You never say it out loud to anyone; never admit it to yourself even though you know it’s true.

And to say it like this to another person–out in the open… You hate yourself so fucking much because it’s true and you’re somehow going to hurt Joshua even if you don’t mean to.

Wonwoo panics at the sight of your tears, at the way your lips tremble and the way he’s sure your nails are digging into your palms. He doesn’t know what to do, unsure about what he can do because you’re…, he winces as he thinks to himself, not even a friend.

What is the appropriate distance he needs to keep? Is he even allowed to comfort you? He can’t even be relieved at your revelation because you’re obviously not fine and there’s something churning at the pit of his guts the longer he sees you try to stop yourself from crying. 

It’s when a sob eventually escapes your lips that he stops thinking. Because how can he stand still when you’re there crying like you’re admitting a crime worthy of a death sentence? When you can’t even lift your head because you’re trying so damn hard to hide your face and your tears?

He hears you gasp when he wraps his arms around you, something that he wishes you’re okay with, and if there’s anything Wonwoo would describe as magical, it’s the way you perfectly fit against him as you press yourself closer for comfort, your forehead on his neck and your tears warm against his skin. He’s sure he’s just making things up, but it feels like there’s a soft wind going through his whole body, leaving trails of goosebumps on his arms.

It’s probably not the most appropriate moment for him to be feeling that way, but he doesn’t have time to be guilty because it seems like you somewhat share the sentiment–pulling away like you’re electrocuted before you look at him wide-eyed and gaping.

“Won–”

“I’m an outlier.” He cuts you off, riding the rush he’s feeling across his body and letting his honest words get out before he can think too much. He doesn’t know why but he feels like he should tell you and he should do it right now. “I don’t have a soulmate and–”

“Kiss me?” There’s urgency and a slight tremble in your voice as you ask this, fingers grasping the material of his shirt tightly like it’s your lifeline. 

“But your soul–”

“Wonwoo, please?”

It’s hard to tell who moves first, or perhaps you two move at the same time, but the moment his lips meet yours, Wonwoo would like to retract his statement earlier about your embrace being magical because it’s nothing compared to this.

It’s absolutely nothing compared to the thousand fireworks exploding in his chest at different intervals–never stopping and electrifying in the most pleasant way possible. He doesn’t know it’s possible for humans to feel this way. Is this what people with a soulmate feels like when they meet their soulmate? Isn’t this what you said earlier: fireworks and butterflies?

It’s not even butterflies in his stomach. He’s pretty sure there’s an earthquake down there. But, the most important of them all, it feels right and it makes sense even though it shouldn’t be. 

The longer his lips move against yours, your fingers grasping the front of his shirt to pull him closer while his fingers thread through your hair to pull you closer, the more it feels like… fuck, he hates to say it but, it feels like it’s meant to be.

It’s only because you both need to take a breath that you pull away, and Wonwoo doesn’t think it’s possible for his heart to run even faster than it already is, but it is because, Christ, the way you look like you’re in a trance and your slightly swollen lips are doing things to his heart that he has never experienced before.

It’s a mystery how long you spend looking at each other like that in silence, wrapped against each other without saying anything. He wants so badly to just kiss you senseless once again, but the gears in his head are starting to turn and he knows the right thing to do is to talk.

You have a soulmate. But you asked him to kiss you and he did. And it was magical and all the good things he’s heard before, but it’s not supposed to be… right?

“What was that?” You whisper, more to yourself than to him. “I… I don’t understand?”

He whispers your name softly, trying to pull away only for you to pull him closer again, your eyes full of distress and your body tense, a complete 180 from how you were just seconds ago.

“W—why?” You look at him like he has an answer. But he doesn’t, because he’s not even sure what you’re asking about and he’s still trying to find words to say. “This… this is what they say about–about fireworks and… and butterflies but… you’re not my soulmate? What does this mean?”

Wonwoo tries once again, this time reaching out to caress your hair to calm you down. It helps, because your shoulders visibly relax and he reminds you to breathe. You refuse to let go of him though, and his heart squeezes painfully at how shaken up you seem to be.

“Hey, I’m–I’m not going anywhere, okay?” He tells you softly, trying to appear calm even despite what he’s feeling inside. But he can’t show it. Not when you look so lost and your feelings are presumably all over the place. “I’ll just… get some stuff inside. I’ll be back in a minute, I promise.”

True to his words, Wonwoo comes back not even a minute late with a pack of tissues and two water bottles. He opts to sit right beside you as he hands you the tissue and opens the water for you.

“Here, drink this.”

“Thanks.” You murmur quietly, embarrassed now that you’ve (somewhat) come to your senses. There’s a thousand questions running through your head, some of them hateful, loathing yourself for asking another guy to kiss you when you have a soulmate who’s probably worried sick at home because you haven’t texted him at all since you left the club.

But you have more pressing matters at hand–like why did Wonwoo actually kiss you, and why did it feel like how people around you have been describing what it feels like to be with your soulmate? And… Did he say he’s an outlier?

“Feeling better?” His voice is meek, like he’s not sure if it’s okay to talk to you. But you’re too all over the place to think about politeness and whatnot. It’s a trainwreck inside your head. Your head isn’t dizzy because you’re overthinking; it’s dizzy because you’re thinking of too many things at once–it’s thought after thought after thought after thought. They’re colliding and everything’s a mess.

“You felt that too right?” is the first thing that you manage to say and it’s only after you say it that you realize how horrifying it would be if Wonwoo says no.

He nods, albeit hesitantly, but you don’t really mind because you’ll take anything right now. “It’s… what was that? Why… Why do I feel it with you but not Joshua?”

Joshua is your soulmate, Wonwoo registers in his mind, and he looks at you helplessly, his heart dropping a little at the mention of his name. Should he tell you? About the dreams and the memories? He thinks the dreams and the memories are simply, well, dreams and memories after he met you and Joshua all those nights ago.

Perhaps he really is just an outlier, a special one at that, but that’s about it. He has trampled any hope of making something out of his dreams when it’s clear that you belong to someone else in this lifetime. The universe that gifts him the memory of his past life with you, one that arranges another meeting in this lifetime with you, is the same fucking universe that decides you have a soulmate and it’s not him.

What the fuck was he supposed to do?

But with how he–and you, apparently–feel earlier, he doesn’t think it’s a meaningless coincidence.

He might’ve considered it as one if it was only him feeling it. That he might’ve been desperate and any contact that he was to have with you would simply be magical because it’s nothing but an illusion on his part.

But you?

You’ve just said you feel it too, whatever it might be. And he feels a glimpse of hope even though the whole situation is completely fucked up and there’s no way to get around it without hurting anyone.

How would you feel if you knew?

Would you freak out?

Would you hate him for hiding it?

Would you think he was planning something against you?

Would you laugh at his face and call him crazy?

“You know something.” Your voice brings him back to reality, your eyes searching his face. You don’t sound accusing, you sound downright confused and, dare he says, a tad bit hopeful. “There’s something you’re not telling me… right?”

Wonwoo takes a deep breath and braces himself for whatever he might need to face afterwards. He owes you that much, he thinks to himself. To a certain extent, his memory is your memory, and if you’re as distraught as you seem to be, he hopes this would help you somehow.

“I remember my past life.” He says as calmly as he can, carefully hiding his fear somewhere behind. “They come to my dreams. I thought it was just dreams at first, but they’re… memories and they’ve been getting longer since I met you. Clearer, too.”

It’s hard to say why you’re not freaked out, why you simply believe him like it’s not the craziest thing you’ve heard in your life. But if the universe can decide two people are destined for each other and grant marks to people to seek their other half, why should this be regarded as impossible?

“Did you… know me in your past life?”

Wonwoo smiles bitterly, and it takes everything in you not to reach out to cup his cheek–tell him that he can be honest and you’re going to listen to him no matter what.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“As honest as you can be.”

“I might sound crazy.” He whispers, basking in your touch. “This… might affect you in a bad way.”

“Crazier than you remembering your past life?” You smile a little as you say this, which he returns. He appreciates your attempt to lighten up the atmosphere, and he reaches up to take the hand that was cupping his cheek, his fingers tighten around yours before he braces himself once again.

“You were my soulmate.” He rips the bandaid in one go, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to say it otherwise.

It’s hard to describe what you’re feeling: your breath is caught in your throat, the revelation means more than you thought it would. But it’s not shock that’s filling you up. No. It’s recognition, acceptance, and tears because things finally make sense.

“I promised you that I’d find you again in our next life and–”

It finally fucking makes sense why you always feel like there’s something missing in your life, why Joshua’s arrival doesn’t fill it up even though you secretly thought it would; why you feel that pull with Wonwoo since that first time you met him.

You remember that day still. You were just taking a walk, there was no plan whatsoever to sit around and spend time out in the open when it’s so hot outside. But you had seen him by himself, and it felt like time stopped for a few moments and you were enchanted. You felt compelled to look at him–to approach him and ask if it’s okay to take the empty seat on his table.

It wasn’t magical, your first meeting, but something about Wonwoo had pulled you in and you didn’t even try to question it. 

The shock you felt when he called you ‘Autumn’ never really died down. And while you tried to convince yourself that it’s simply because it had been a long time since someone referred to you with that name and it was a nickname that is so dear to you, you could feel deep down that there was something else.

And then there was that dream.

Wait.

Right, that dream. 

Is that dream…?

“Ginkgo leaf?” You whisper out of nowhere, trying to recall what you saw all those nights ago. “Was that your mark? In your previous life… was that your mark?”

It’s his turn to look at you in shock, the way he’s gaping at you wide-eyed giving you the answer you were looking for.

“H–how?”

“I had a dream, once.” You’ve never felt this vulnerable in your life, but how can you not be when it feels like you’ve just found the reason you’ve been seeking for your whole life? “It was… that night we met… at Namsan. It was your birthday and we were celebrating with a cake and–”

“Hey, breathe?” Wonwoo cuts you off, and you squeeze his fingers in return, only then realizing that you’ve been holding hands the whole time. “Take your time, okay?”

“And I saw the ginkgo leaf on your wrist…” You finish, trying your best not to glance at his wrist even though you know it’s not there. “I didn’t get to see mine though, and that’s why I didn’t assume you were my soulmate.”

“I see…”

You hate how defeated he sounds. And for all the time you’ve been doubting the universe, questioning its means and cursing its ways, you don’t know what to do right now.

Should you be cursing it some more for putting Wonwoo in that position? For making you feel the way you feel only to find out the reason why is because your heart is apparently caught in the past? What does this make Joshua? What does this make your entire relationship with him?

You ask about his dreams, and even though Wonwoo is hesitant at first, he gets more comfortable the more he relays them. And you feel like crying because, apparently, all of them are about you. There’s not one single dream that doesn’t have you in it, and it feels like a punch to your guts to know that he has to live his life with this replaying in his mind, that he can’t even talk about it to anyone because he doesn’t want to risk it, that he’s been keeping something this big for his whole life because he doesn’t really have any other choice.

You grief about the memories you don’t have. About what could’ve been and about the pain Wonwoo has to go through by himself because the universe has arranged you to be with someone else when he’s been seeing pictures of you with him in his dreams.

“What… what do you think we should do?” You throw the question out there, hope that someone has the answer. But Wonwoo stays silent, and he looks at you with eyes full of yearning that wrenches your soul. You know what he’s trying to say. You’re the one who has a soulmate. Whatever that he might want with you, what he might’ve imagined throughout the entire time he has those memories, they all don’t mean anything because you’re off limits.

“I don’t… think there’s anything that we can do.”

“But–”

“It’s okay.” He shakes his head with a sad smile. “I didn’t… I wasn’t expecting anything. I didn’t even think I’d be talking about this with you.”

“But, still!” You’re grasping his hand tightly–as if he’ll be gone if you let go even slightly. “This… this has got to mean something!”

“You have a soulmate.” He reminds you, his voice shaking. And tears blur your eyes once again at how resigned he sounds, but can you blame him? The universe has fucked him up in more ways than one, you would’ve lost it a long time ago if you were him, but here he is, taking care of you still even though it might make things worse for him.

“Do you love me?”

Wonwoo exhales deeply, pressing his lips together to hide the fact that they’re trembling because he’s so close to tears.

“I know my past self loved you more than life itself.”

“Do you love me?”

“Look–I…”

“Because there’s—there’s clearly something because my heart feels like it’s about to burst and I already want to be with you all the time.” You cry as you honestly bare yourself in front of him, as you tell him all the emotions that have been going through you since the kiss you share with each other minutes ago. “I don’t… I’ve never felt like this before and I’ve always questioned why–wonder what went wrong and if there’s some kind of mistake. But I couldn’t do anything because supposedly he’s my soulmate and I’m supposed to accept that. Because it’s a given and it’s obvious and there’s just no fucking reason for me to question it.”

Wonwoo lets his tears fall as you say all this, his hands warm against yours and he relishes at the way you’re holding on to them tightly, like you want to convince him that there’s something–some way to go around this.

“But you just gave me a reason to question it now.” You sob, reminding him about the talk you had the first time you met each other. 

If fate and destiny actually exist, who is there to say that what the universe has decided for you is your best path?

You must look absolutely hideous right now, with tears all over your face that won’t stop no matter how many times you wipe them. But you don’t care, because you finally feel content with him beside you. Because even though it’s selfish and you would need to figure out the whole Joshua situation, you’re not going to let go of the person who finally makes you feel complete, who makes you realize the things your friends have been saying are all true: that it just makes sense, that it’s practically binding to the point where you even hate to think about having to separate with him after this night ends.

“You told me I could always go against my destiny if that’s what I choose to do. Why are you not letting me? Do you not feel it?”

“I do. I swear, I feel it too.” He wipes the last of his tears and calms himself down, makes you panic when he tries to let go of your hands only for his palm to rest warmly against the side of your face. “But you have a soulmate and it’s not something that you can decide by yourself. It wouldn’t be fair to him, don’t you think?”

“Has the universe ever been fair to you?” You ask him, wondering how he can still have this much consideration for someone who he should’ve harbored ill feelings for.

“It leads me to you, doesn’t it? In two different lifetimes too.” He smiles and caresses your cheek, wiping your tears also. 

“Please stop making me cry.” You whisper weakly, certain that your eyes will be red and puffy once you’ve stopped crying.

Wonwoo chuckles at this, and the sound of his small laughter brings a smile out of you despite the tears.

“I’m not saying you’re not in your right mind. But perhaps… we’re too high on our emotions right now, don’t you agree?”

You don’t. You really don’t. But you get what he’s saying so you nod and instead bask in the way his thumb is caressing the apple of your cheek.

“So what do you suppose we should do?

“You… might want to think this through and have a talk with… Joshua.” It’s bizarre to hear Joshua’s name from Wonwoo, but you know he’s right and if… if you want to try whatever it is you’re going to try with Wonwoo, you don’t want to do it in hiding and you don’t want to betray Joshua’s trust and respect more than you probably already have at this point. He might hate you, he might not accept it, but you have to at least try and a part of you believes Joshua would understand somehow. “And then we can decide from then?”

“Okay…” You close your eyes and lean forward to rest your forehead against his shoulder, feeling his arm pulling you closer and trying to memorize his scent and his warmth to calm the erratic beat of your heart. “Okay.”

Wonwoo takes you home, sitting a good distance from you in the taxi like you both weren’t pressed against each other just minutes prior. But you know why he’s doing it, and you still appreciate him for going with you just to make sure you’ll go back safely even if he doesn’t have to.

For the first time that night, your mind wanders to Joshua. About how you should approach the subject with him and all the consequences you might need to face afterwards. It’s not going to be pretty even if Joshua somehow understands: what would you say to your family? To his family?

But you can’t let go of Wonwoo. Not now that you’ve met him, that you’ve found out what his existence means to you and you’ve felt all the magic you’ve been hearing from other people.

You wonder now if the reason why you’ve questioned the whole soulmate system is because it doesn’t apply to you personally. Because you didn’t feel the pull and all that should’ve come along with the first meeting.

Now that you’ve felt it with Wonwoo… You glance at him, which Wonwoo catches almost right away. He smiles at you, though you can tell his eyes are full of worries, his mind probably elsewhere. You don’t blame him though, what has transpired tonight is beyond the two of you; it’s only right for him to be out of it.

You suddenly feel like one of those stupid main characters in a romance movie, one who would throw everything away for a man they barely know. But your heart knows Wonwoo, yearns for him before you even know it. In a world where two people are destined to be together… you don’t think it’s stupid of you to want to do this.

When the driver tells you that you’ve arrived you hesitate before you get off, not wanting to leave Wonwoo. But he smiles in encouragement, tells you that you have his number and you’re free to text him after you’ve figured things out.

He omits Joshua from his sentence, but you know that’s what he means.

“Hey.” He calls for you right when you’re about to close the door and reaches out to squeeze your hand once, letting go before you can return the gesture. “Don’t rush it, okay? Take your time. I’ll be waiting. You know I’m good at that.”

Wonwoo waits.

Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months.

There’s a reason why he gave you his number instead of asking for yours.

He wants you to be ready before deciding anything, wants you to make the decision that you think is best for you.

He knows he’d call you right away if he has your number, to make sure you’re okay and to see how you’re doing.

But that’d be even more painful, he feels like. More painful than a thousand scenarios going through his mind because he’s by himself. At least like this, he knows it’s nothing but scenarios that he comes up with; nothing is real and it’s all in his head.

Like his dreams.

Like his memories.

He exhales as he looks at his phone once again, waiting for your message that isn’t coming.

The third time Wonwoo meets you might be the last time he sees you, after all.

Three months later, October comes around, yellow leaves telling him that autumn has arrived. Not his Autumn, obviously, and he glares at the ginkgo tree he passes by that is still annoyingly green even though everything else has started to turn yellow.

The third week of October, you finally text Wonwoo, apologizing for the time you took and asking if it’s still okay to see each other even though it’s been months since then. He says yes, of course, and you’re currently sitting anxiously in the taxi on your way to his place.

You don’t know how Wonwoo is going to take what you’re about to tell him and you don’t think it’s wise to be having this conversation out in the open; hence why you’re thankful that he agrees when you ask if it’s okay to talk in the privacy of his walls.

“Hi.” He opens the door, offering you a small smile that you return tightly. It’s weird that you immediately feel at peace in his presence despite the anxiety that has been building up in your chest. 

“Hi.” You press your lips together, exhaling a deep breath before you apologize to him once again. “Sorry it took me quite some time to text you. I didn’t want to… rush, like you said.”

“It’s okay.” You know it’s not, you can tell by how tense it is and how forced his smile seems to be. Plus, it doesn’t take a genius to know why he looks like he hasn’t been getting decent sleep because you know you probably would’ve looked the same if not for your makeup.

He ushers you to come in, tells you to sit down on the sofa and offers you a drink, in which you say you’re fine with just water.

Wonwoo returns with a cup of warm tea though, and he says that he’s put some honey in it, that you look tense and hopefully the drink helps.

“I figure you’ve made up your mind?”

Truth be told, you can’t even begin to imagine what’s been going on inside Wonwoo’s head. You offered yourself to him only to go missing for three months straight, not even a text that tells him that you’re okay and you’re not forgetting him. 

But you didn’t want to text him when things were uncertain, not with what happened right after you got home–with what went down between you and Joshua.

You couldn’t.

That’s why you’ve only finally managed to text him a few days ago. With things being in the clear, you can finally talk to him and decide what’s going to happen moving forward.

“Give me a chance to explain?” You look at him hopefully.

“I wouldn’t tell you to come if I wasn’t going to listen to you.” His smile lifts parts of your tension, and you take a deep breath before you begin, already having imagined this conversation a hundred times in your head. 

“Joshua was there when I came home that night.” You bite your lip, already feeling like crying as you recall that scene in your head. “He was on the floor, passed out. He wouldn’t wake up no matter how much I shook him, and I realized he was clutching his neck–right where our soulmate marks are. It was hot, like it was burning before, and I called the hospital right away and–”

“Wait–burning?” 

“Yes and… and the mark was fading and it was only hours later that I realized mine was fading also.” You swallow hard at this, a painful wave crashes against your heart as you recall his face when he came to, when he told them what happened and when they told him what actually happened.

“It just… started burning out of nowhere.”

The doctor glanced at you, your eyes were puffy from crying even more than you already did before that, your fingers tight against Joshua’s because you thought you’d lost him.

“Did you feel the burn also?” The doctor pulled you out after Joshua fell back asleep, a conclusion already knitting itself together in her mind. There’s no way you’d be fine enough to stand on your own feet if you had felt the burn, but still, she had to make sure before jumping into conclusions.

“No…” You sniffled. “I… was out with… a friend and he already passed out when I came back home.”

“No pain, at all?”

You shook your head, mentally and physically exhausted after everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours.

“No. I–He’d be fine, right?” You asked in desperation. “What… what happened, exactly?”

“We need to run some more tests. But… you’re sure you didn’t feel anything at all?”

“No, I didn’t. I really didn’t. Does that mean anything?”

“They… they said it’s the universe… taking our marks from us.” You force a smile just right after the first tear falls, your feelings still all over the place even though almost three months have passed since then. “Apparently, it had happened before. Though it’s been fifty years or so since they last heard of a case. They couldn’t really tell why it happened because there weren’t many cases to study and compare, but I felt like… I might have an idea why it happened so I met the doctor privately and told her about you.”

Wonwoo holds back the urge to reach for your hands that are balled into fists, to free your lower lip from your teeth because he’s sure you’d bleed if you bite down just a tad bit harder. 

“She said that there’s a possibility that I was right. That… the universe is rearranging my soulmate because I met you. It’s not unheard of, but it’s not something that you’d even find in books because it’s some sort of myth at this point.”

You look up to meet his eyes. His heart breaks at how sad you look, and the protective feeling from three months ago when he saw you crying at one in the morning returns at once. He’s not sure if it’s okay to comfort you this time around though, because by the way you’re relaying the story, he can’t tell at all where you stand exactly.

“I was debating with myself whether it would be better to tell him right away or wait until he got better. But Joshua… caught on easily that something bothered me and it just… came out. I didn’t say your name, and I only told him what he might need to know: that I met someone and it just… made sense.

It wasn’t easy. He was the one laying on the hospital bed but he was also the one comforting me. And I felt so bad and I kept on apologizing to him but he said it’s okay and he understood. That it’s not my fault because he knew I didn’t have a say in how I felt.”

From the thousand scenarios Wonwoo has imagined in the three months you left him in silence, this is not one of them. He can’t even begin to imagine how painful it must’ve been for Joshua, both physically and mentally. His mind takes him back to Jisoo, about what she said about the burn she felt and how it affected her after.

How could Joshua say that in his position?

For what it’s worth, Wonwoo is glad to know that you were meant to be with someone as caring as Joshua is–who is so understanding that he would withstand that kind of pain and said it was fine. That he doesn’t blame you for it.

But where does this leave the two of you now?

“He asked me what I wanted to do now that we’re… no longer bonded by the marks. And I told him honestly that I don’t want to lose him; that I still… love him even though it’s not how he expected me to. That I understand if he doesn’t want me around because it can’t be easy to look at someone who used to be your soulmate.”

You’re sobbing at this point, and he hands you some tissues to wipe your tears, reminds you to breathe before you continue.

“Can you… can you hold me, please?” Your voice is small as you say this, as if you’re uncertain whether you’re allowed to ask that. Wonwoo is glad you did though, because he immediately comes closer and pulls you into his chest, offering you whatever comfort he might be able to give that way. “Sorry, I just–”

“Shh. It’s fine.” Whatever the outcome of this conversation may be, this is the least he can do for you. And perhaps a little for himself also, because it’s painful to see you cry and not able to do anything at all. Because he’s been dreaming of hugging you–the you in this lifetime, not the past one–and he’s not going to pass any chance that’s presented in front of him even if it might be wrong. He still doesn’t know how your talk ended with Joshua, but if you asked him to hold you… that should mean something, right? “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” You sniffle, pulling away to look at him.

“It is my place, so.” He tries to joke to help you relax, and it works because you weakly hit his chest before you exhale another deep breath and continue after Wonwoo makes you take a sip of your tea.

“He… He’d like to keep me around too.” You say quietly, your tears now replaced with hiccups. “But not now. Because it still hurts and… and he says he’d contact me once he’s ready.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

You shrug, burying yourself further into his neck. Is it bad that it feels so right to do this already? Is it bad that you’re doing this when you’re still trying to move on from your guilt?

“I honestly have no idea… But… Well, he says he wants me to be happy with you and that he doesn’t want me to not give you–us–a chance because I feel guilty towards him. That… what’s done is done and he’ll eventually be okay.”

“He’s very kind, isn’t he?” He comments instead, unsure how to feel after everything you’ve said. A big part of him is relieved, but it’s still hard to be completely happy when he knew it cost someone the kind of pain that would last a lifetime. 

“The kindest.” You smile for the first time, agreeing with him. “I think that’s also why I’ve always had this guilt within me, you know? Even before I met you. Because I just know I can’t return his feelings but he was supposed to be my soulmate.”

“I understand.” He whispers against your head, leaning his cheek there. “Is that also why it took you three months to text me?”

“Partly… yeah. I ended up taking care of him until he got discharged, and we decided to just… talk to our parents separately about what happened and what… might happen moving forward. And then I spent some time arranging my thoughts and cleaning up his stuff from my apartment. I haven’t given them back to him, but they’re all in a box in my place. So… yeah. Sorry for not texting you at all.”

He hums and holds you tighter, feels the way your arms are also hugging him in apology. He doesn’t press about your parents, he supposes you would’ve talked about it if you want to. But you’ve just relayed a very emotionally loaded story which must be very exhausting in itself.

“I did tell you to take your time.” He says, a smile blooming into his face at what he says next. “Thank you for coming back to me.”

“Thank you for letting me come back to you.” You say instead, pulling away from him to meet his eyes. Your eyes must be puffy from all the crying, gosh, you seem to be crying all the time when you’ve only seen this guy four times in total. You wonder if you were this much of an emotional wreck too in your past life, but you decide against asking about it because it does not matter now.

Your past lives might be the one that eventually leads you to each other; but Wonwoo has probably had enough stories regarding the past life and you don’t see why you should talk about it when you have the future in front of you.

“They’ve stopped, you know?” Wonwoo suddenly says.

“What have?”

“The dreams.” He presses his lips together and looks at you for comfort, which you readily give as you squeeze his shoulder. “They don’t appear anymore. Like, completely stopped. I do dream of you, but not… you from the past life. Just you.”

“How do you know it’s not me from the past?”

He takes your hand before he answers, gently lifts it up to point at your empty wrist and smiles.

“Because there’s no mark on your wrist.”

“Ah… right.” You lean forward to rest your forehead against his shoulder, and you spend a moment like that: your body pressed against each other and the ghost of his lips on top of your head.

It’s then that you whisper, a little afraid but also hopeful–perhaps even excited at what the future might have in store for you two.

“Are we really doing this?”

“A little too late to not do this, I think.” He jokes, which earns him another hit on the chest and a glare that doesn’t affect him at all. He cups your cheek and looks into your eyes, making you shy from the sudden attention. “If you want it then I want it. Easy as that.”

You press your lips together and bask in his stare, get lost in his eyes as you finally try to let go of the guilt holding you down and focus more on the certainty that you felt that night you tried to convince Wonwoo to do something about your situation.

“I’ll be okay.” Joshua reassured you for the nth time as you dropped him off his place, your second home that you probably wouldn’t be able to visit until an indefinite time. “Don’t worry too much about me, okay? You know how I am.”

“I’m really–”

“I don’t want you to apologize again.” He cuts you off, his voice stern. “I don’t blame you, I really don’t. I’m happy to know you’ve met someone that has made you complete. I’m sorry for not being able to do that to you. It must’ve been hard for you all those time, hm? So try to be happy now. Don’t think too much about me. I will be okay, trust me on that. I’ve never gone back on my words, have I? I don’t regret the time I had with you and I don’t want you to feel guilty for not feeling a certain way.”

“Let’s do it, then?” You say, wanting to make sure like there’s any way Wonwoo would say no. “Fuck the universe, right?”

Wonwoo laughs and gently squishes your cheeks before he nods, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, his breath warm against your face even though his lips aren't touching yours just yet.

“Fuck the universe, indeed.”

It's later that night that you point at the inside of his wrist and gasp when you check yours: identical marks of a twin gingko leaves intertwined with each other adorning your wrist and his.

Wonwoo grins.

His Autumn is finally here.

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved. I don’t allow any reposting, translation, and any other kind of redistribution of this fic. Please tell me if you’re aware of anyone doing this without my permission.

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A/N 2: well, if you're reading this, thank you once again!! i have never written this trope before and i honestly can't tell at all if you'll like it or not. but i wrote this for wonwoo's birthday, so hopefully i'll have it in me to accept it if it's not your cup of tea. but anyway, it's been some time since i write anything this long also--didn't even know i had it in me to still write anything this long, and it kinda made me realize that... this might be my last long piece for a quite some time. it's not easy to write this, to see my notifications everyday and see less and less feedbacks while the likes take up 95% of them. i've said it before, but it gets discouraging the more it goes. i'm not announcing hiatus or anything, but i hope you know where my blog stands at this point. happy birthday once again wonwoo, my muse, the loml 🥰💕

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