Make It Make Sense [Part 3]

Make It Make Sense [Part 3]

pairings: soonyoung x fem!reader, wonwoo x fem!reader

synopsis: you’re hopelessly in love with your roommate and best friend, wonwoo, yet you’re fucking his least favorite person, kwon soonyoung? make it make sense.

genre/warnings: explicit smut (minors DNI!!), unprotected sex (soonyoung forgot the goods . . .), consensual intercourse (honestly soonyoung is so sexc for this), car sex, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), cunninglus, squirting, creampie, riding, use of profanity, angst, fwb, one-sided pining, SO MUCH jealousy, oc teases soonyoung about being a fuckboi, soonyoung cries, wonwoo is emotionally constipated, unedited - everyone ask surprise

wc: ~5k

taglist: @onlymingyus @listxn @deekayownsme @greasywall @pandorashbox @felix-3002 @haobrainrot @misssugarlips @pooofthechicken @mysweetdokyungsoo @horangh03 @skittlez-area512 @haogyuslut @starlight-night0 @omghwa @defprettysoul

pls lmk through an ask if you wanted to be part of the taglist! if you asked previously and i forgot to add you, i apologize 😭 the request was everywhere, but i did my best to find everyone!

a/n: y'all haven't seen the last of jeon wonwoo! blaming @sleeplessdawn😤😈

p.s. the smut ain't that great this time around because i had a hit of reality and got shy . . . not to mention their arguments are kind of stupid lol, so yeah . . . sorry - read at your own risk aka cringe!!!

as always, thank you for reading! i would love to hear your thoughts whether it be trhough rbs/asks/comments 🥰

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The car door slammed loudly behind him. On the palm of your hands, you crawled back towards the opposite door to make room for Soonyoung in the backseat of his SUV. Hastily, he discarded his jean jacket in the front driver’s seat. His breathing was uneven from the speedwalk from the amusement park to the far end of the parking lot. If it were up to Soonyoung, he would’ve taken you in the bathroom, but he had the decency to consider that it was a family-friendly attraction – it was not sexy to be caught balls deep in the girl of dreams while traumatizing a six-year-old boy. It was moments like this he was grateful, he spent an arm and Jihoon’s leg on this SUV. 

Soonyoung’s touch was titillating. He wrapped his hands around your ankles, slowly sliding them up your shins, coming to a rest on your thigh just at the hem of your leather skirt. Running his tongue over his lips, he looked up at you curiously, silently waiting for you to give him the ‘okay’ to go further. You hated this version of Soonyoung: his sharp eyes suddenly turned innocent, his teasing smile that he traded for a soft one that made his cheeks look like dough, his eagerness and stubbornness to take things head on, gone because he wanted to be patient for you. Though seeming vulnerable, this version of Soonyoung had the power to mitigate all thoughts of Wonwoo; instead, it was as if this whole time Soonyoung who had been your whole world. It made your stomach churn, bile threatening to come up your esophagus. 

But was it out of guilt?

Or denial?

With a shaky sigh, your eyes fluttered shut, giving him a slow nod to move forward. Heat pooled at your core as you felt his fingers brush against your skin underneath hidden by your skirt. You clenched at nothing at the touch of his thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. Through the fabric of your underwear, he let his finger dance across the outline of your slit. Your thighs threatened to collapse at his touch, but Soonyoung was quick to push them wide again. One finger became two and two became three – it wasn’t long before his whole hand was rubbing at your clothed core. You jutted your hips into his touch, grinding along with his movements. 

Soonyoung watched your face contort in pleasure. Your lips falling agape, veins popping along your neck as you tried to fight a whine threatening to escape. Your underwear began feeling damp, your slick starting to soak through the cotton. He pressed harder into your core, eliciting garbled sound from you as you tried to stop a moan. 

“It’s okay, baby,” Soonyoung soothed you, “Let it out – it’s just you and me here.”

However, rather than listening to him, you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth in an effort to seal your lips. 

Soonyoung chuckled – you were never really one to listen anyways. 

“Here,” Soonyoung leaned down, hovering over your face. His eyes scanned your face from the thick of your eyebrows to the plush of your lips, “Let me help you.”

He pushed aside your underwear, rubbing his thumb over your bare clit when suddenly he plunged a finger into you. You immediately released your bottom lip from your teeth, whining from the sensation of his finger circling against your warm walls. Soonyoung took the opportunity to mold his lips against yours. His tongue swiped over your plush lips, a hint of cotton candy the cotton candy you shared with Wonwoo earlier, filling his taste buds. Pressing a hand on his chest, you granted him access, slipping your own inside his mouth, adjusting your head to better fit your lips together. 

Kissing Soonyoung felt like the thrill of riding a roller coaster. The suck of your bottom lip sent butterflies fluttering in your abdomen. The swipe of his tongue along the inside of your cheek was euphoric. Even when he pulled away for a millisecond for air, there was exhilaration in wondering where his lips would land next. 

You were on cloud nine, but you were greedy for more. Before you could stop yourself, you found yourself wrapping your hands around the nape of his neck, tugging Soonyoung down closer to you. You moved your hips forward, allowing his finger to penetrate even deeper inside of you. He pushed an additional finger inside of you, figuring you could handle the stretch being so eager. You entangled your fingers at the sensation, tugging at his jet black locks, now Soonyoung’s to let out a grunt at your rough touch. 

“Want you inside me,” you whispered in between pecks. 

“Later,” Soonyoung immediately replied, his two digits moving languidly in and out of you,“Wanna,” he paused to plant a kiss on the corner of your lips, “eat you out.”

Immediately, Soonyoung felt your core squeeze, flooding his fingers with your juice. Sound of your pussy squelching around his fingers was heavenly. It sent blood rushing to his dick as it began twitching in his jeans. He felt the precum already squirting from his tip, dampening a patch on his boxers. 

As quickly as he put in his second finger, Soonyoung slipped his fingers out. You whined at the emptiness, resting your head against the windowsill behind you, fog hiding yours and Soonyoung’s dirty deed from public view. Giving you one last kiss, he sucked harshly on your bottom lip. A peck on your neck, a peck on your collarbone, a peck on your sternum, then your bare abdomen, then the insides of your thighs, he made his way down to your core. 

Flipping up your skirt, Soonyoung pushed aside your cotton panties that were sopping with your juices. Hungrily, his tongue swiped once up your slit, his lips then molding onto your sensitive bud, sucking and nipping. Replacing his mouth with his thumb, he pressed up into your clit, moving in the shape of a figure eight. His touch was slow at first, starting to speed up as he moved down lower, his breath fanning over your hole. You shivered at the teasing sensation, squirming under his firm hold. You were sorry for whoever would be sitting here afterwards, your juices probably staining the plush seats of his SUV. 

Soonyoung pulled apart your folds, his tongue dipping into your entrance and lapping at your pink walls. You winced once again at his euphoric touch, your hands immediately shot down, grabbing a handful of his hair and rammed him further into your core. He groaned at your tug, sending vibrations through you. The combination of his tongue and his thumb overwhelming your senses, you felt adrenaline surge through your veins and your vision blotted white. A gush of warm fluid suddenly spilled into Soonyoung’s mouth, taking him by surprise. 

You fucking squirted. 

Right into his mouth. 

“Baby that was so,” Soonyoung ran his tongue slowly over his lips, savoring the taste of you, “Hot.”

He chuckled, expecting another whine or complaint from you, but was met with nothing. He bent down to hover over you, either hands planted on either sides of your face. Your eyes were sealed shut, blood drawing from a cut on your bottom lips. He frowned at your wound, leaning down to give it a soft kiss as if it would heal it. You tasted yourself from his peck, frowning in the process. Your hands flew to your face in embarrassment when he pulled back. 

“I can’t believe I just did that,” you said, your voice muffled by your palms. 

Soonyoung chuckled, grabbing your wrist and trying to pull them away from your face. “Relax, it was fine!”

“No it’s not!” you whined, “I like . . . peed into your mouth!”

“And it was delicious.”

Your hands fell just far enough to show your eyes staring daggers at him, your brows furrowed together in disgust. Teasingly, Soonyoung licked his lips once more to make a point. 

“You –”

His hearty laughter reverbated off the insides of the SUV. Soonyoung wrapped his arms around the small of your waist, letting his head dip into your chest, his breath fanning against your exposed skin. You let your hands slip to the crown of his head, gently stroking his hair, doing your best to suppress the urge to giggle with him. 

As Soonyoung came down from his high, he raised his head to look at you, chin resting on your sternum. You pouted at him, though he knew you were only feigning annoyance – you looked so fucking cute, he couldn’t resist the urge to devour your lips once more. 

“I’m not done with you yet, you know?” Soonyoung whispered when he pulled away. 

“You better not be,” you challenged him, a dark glint flashing across your eyes. 

Excitedly, he sat back in his seat, fishing his wallet out of back pocket. Rifling past the few bills and scraps of receipt, Soonyoung looked for the spare condom he always carried with him in case or emergencies like this. Thumbing past the last receipt from the fried chicken restaurant he treated Seungkwan to, the writing already faded, he found none. He quickly sorted through the contents again, his eyes peeled for the golden wrapper. 

"Soonyoung," you moaned, dragging out the last syllable of his name.

Dumping the contents of his wallet onto the front seat, his hand ran over everything. Unfortunately, nothing new was found other than a few spare coins.

Soonyoung's lips parted in disbelief, his heart sinking into the depths of his stomach, silently berating himself for not replenishing his stores. You were sad and needy now, his dick was still stiff, and he couldn't do anything about it. 

When did he last use it? You're the only person he'd been sleeping with these past few months, granted the two of you had a lot of sex he didn't always remember.

"Soonyoung?" you tried again, pushing yourself up by your elbows.

"Baby," he responded gently, leaning forward to capture your lips, his hand brushing away the few strands of hair.

"I need you," you replied breathlessly when he pulled away, pawing at his thighs. "Please."

"I have something to tell you, baby," Soonyoung said hesitantly.

You peered up at him, waiting for him to reply.

"I-I don't have a condom," Soonyoung confessed, "I don't know what happened to it - I always keep one in there . . . I'm sorry baby."

A soft 'oh' left your lips. Your eyes fell from his gaze, landing on your near bare abdomen. You clenched, your core aching at the sense of emptiness.

Pressing his lips against your temple, Soonyoung apologized again. "I can. . . Eat your out again? Or finger you? Ride my thigh? Anything you want."

Your eyes flickered up to him, quickly reaching for his hand and lacing your fingers together, you gave him a soft squeeze.

"It’s okay," you told him.

Soonyoung's eyes fluttered shut and rested his forehead against yours. He shook his head. "No it's not."

You paused, staring off at a spot behind him.

"We can do it without it," you said.

"W-what?" Soonyoung asked, not believing his ears. He stared at you blankly. Condomless sex had never an option – the both of you agreed when this all started. 

"Do me raw,” you said in a small voice. Your knees fell to either side. Gnawing at your bottom lip, you pushed yourself towards him, urging him to continue. 

"Baby –"

"I'm the only other person you've been with recently right?"

Soonyoung nodded fiercely.

"Are you clean?"

"I got checked before we started - as far as I know, I am."

"Me too " the corner of your lips twitched into a subtle smile.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you, or vice versa. You had an IUD, so pregnancy wasn’t so much of a concern, and clearly neither were STIs, but you could never be too sure. 

What could’ve hanged?

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure . . . I want to feel all of you."

Soonyoung searched your face for any signs of uncertainty, only to be met with eagerness swimming across your eyes. 

“I trust you, Youngie,” you pleaded. 

His dick strained against his jeans. 

Fucking hell. 

Not that nickname. 

It was childishly stupid, but it was seldom you ever called him ‘Youngie.’

Soonyoung started undoing the buckle of his jeans, his fingers fumbling with the button and zipper. Simultaneously, he slipped his boxers and jeans off together, his member slapping against his lower abdomen. Your mouth salivated at his angry red tip dripping with precum. 

"Okay," Soonyoung repositioned himself in between your legs. He ran his hands up your thighs, readjusting your skirt for better access to your entrance. He rubbed his member to spread his precum, better preparing himself for what was to come. With the wetness pooling at your entrance from your squirt, he figured he wouldn't have a problem sliding in, but he wanted to make sure it'd be pleasurable for you.

Soonyoung plunged into you, immediately being welcomed with warmth, your walls hugging him and pulsating against his member as he nudged in further. His tip and little more only part way in, you clenched around him, sending a surge of pleasure through his body. 

“Fuck,” Soonyoung hissed as his hips stuttered, abruptly stopping. He lurched forward impulsively, quickly grabbing onto the seat to prevent himself from collapsing onto you. 

“More, Soonyoung, more!” you begged. 

“D-don’t do that,” Soonyoung chuckled. 

“Do what?” you asked innocently. Your walls fluttered around him again. 

“That!” he winced, letting out a deep breath. “I’m not going to last if you keep squeezing my dick.”

“Sorry,” you muttered. 

“I-it’s fine,” Soonyoung shook his head. “Just . . . try to relax okay?”

You nodded. You took a deep breath, your walls relaxing around him.

He cupped your cheek, you instantly leaned into his touch. “I’m going all in.”

Soonyoung bottomed out, his tip nudging at your cervix. Your arms came up to hook under his shoulders for support, the sensation simultaneously painful, yet pleasurable. You could feel the ridges and valleys of his members, the veins of his dick pulsating violently inside you. He was so warm inside of you and he hadn’t even cummed yet. Had you known he’d feel this good raw, you would’ve tried this sooner. 

“C-can I move?” Soonyoung stammered, “Nnnhhhnnggghh.”

“Yeah,” you replied, your voice equally strained. 

Using the head of the seat as support, Soonyoung slowly started pulling out of you. His smooth flesh dragged slowly along walls, the ticklish sensation intoxicating. Your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders, dragging them down his back like his dick inside of you.

Pushing himself back in, Soonyoung curled into your neck, peppering wet kisses along the column of your throat. You tilted your head to give him better access, his lips finally latching on the sensitive spot behind your ear. 

Soonyoung started to establish his usual rhythm, his rips gyrating as he listlessly pumped inside of you. The sounds of your slick mixing together littered the air like an addicting beat. You were thirsty for his dick; not wanting to be disconnected from him for too long, you found yourself meeting him halfway. Your clit rammed violently against his pubic bone, sending an electric jolt to your stomach each time. 

Typically when the two of you had sex, it was Soonyoung who entertained you. You'd let him fuck you into depths of the bed and he'd make you cum first. You were feeling adventurous today, however, wanting to turn the tables.

Hooking your legs around his thighs and a hand on his chest, you pushed him back and sat up in his lap in one swoop. His dick still stiff inside you, Soonyoung sat back willingly, his hands flying up to hold you steady. You pressed your boobs against his chest, nearly pooling at his neck. You slowly peeled your jacket off your shoulders, revealing the white bandeau you wore underneath that he loved so much.

"W-what are you-"

"Let me ride you," you told him.

And you weren't taking no for an answer. 

Delicately placing your hands on his shoulders, you raised your ass to sink down on him.

This angle certainly offering you a new kind of pleasure - sharper and deeper, as if he would split you open.

Despite you doing most of the work, Soonyoung guided your hips, his hand squeezing your waist and occasionally pushing you back and forth on his dick. 

Your hands slid up his neck to cup his chin, allowing yourself for once to look into his eyes during these sacred moments. Your breath hitched, a lump forming in your throat. Honey dripping from his dark eye, his pupils blown wide as if he was drunk.

And truthfully, he was. 

Kwon Soonyoung was drunk on you (and your pussy).

Soonyoung slammed you downed against him, not letting you move any further. You didn't have to ask to know what was coming, the way he pressed his lips together, his eyes rolling back. 

You stayed still as his cum covered your walls, your own high quick to follow the longer to stayed wrapped around him. Collapsing into his chest, your pussy tightened around him, milking out every last drop.

The two of you stayed like this a while longer, your head tucked into his chest, Soonyoung’s arms coming to wrap around you. His phallus softened inside of you, but not quite ready to lose the bliss of him inside you yet. 

. . . . 

“You conveniently have a towel in your car?” you asked as Soonyoung cleaned off your folds. 

“Open wider,” he ignored your question and folded the wash cloth in half, flicking your thigh. You obliged, granting him better access. You winced as the terry material rubbed roughly between your folds. 

“Do you end up fucking all those girls in your car too?” you pulled your knees together, clamping your hands in between after he finished. 

Soonyoung’s expression immediately fell at your words, his jaw clenched as he let his hand drop to his side. "Do you really think I see other women besides you right now?" 

He didn't wait for you to reply. One hard stare at you, he left the side door of the SUV and made his way to the trunk. You frowned at his reaction. He used to always tease back when you joked about him fucking other women. 

Soonyoung tossed the washcloth haphazardly next to the duffel bag, making a mental note to replace it when he got home. Slamming the door the trunk shut. His hand lingered on the door handle. He planted his forehead against them, contemplating his situation right now.

“We’re not going back into –”

“You really think they waited three hours for us to finish fucking?” Soonyoung replied harshly. 

You clamped your mouth shut, drawing your lips in between your teeth. Tugging at the hem of your skirt, you got up from the backseat and made your way around the front to avoid him to the get to the passenger seat. 

Fastening the seatbelt across your torso, you heard him clamber into the driver’s seat, harshly slamming the door. 

“Soonyoung –”

“Can I be honest with you?” Soonyoung cut you off. His eyes were trained out the front window, however. 

“Course,” you mumbled. The space between your brows dipped in confusion at his sudden change in demeanor. After sex, he had grown quiet, which is unusual of him – he was usually playful, doting and teasing you. However, you didn’t think too much of it, post-nut clarity hitting you pretty quickly, realizing you left all your friends, including Wonwoo, behind in the amusement park to fuck in the parking lot. How were you going to explain your disappearance other than the truth?

"Don't go back to Wonwoo," he deadpanned.

"What?" you frowned, "Soonyoung, I live with him, I just can't -"

"He doesn't even look at you the same!" Soonyoung blurted.

“What are you trying to get at?” 

Finally, he looked up at you, a bittersweet smile quivering on his lips. “You look at Wonwoo with so, so, so much fucking love it hurts, Y/N – like he’s your whole world; your beginning, middle, and end.”

You paused, heart starting to pound against your ribcage as you tried to strady your breathing. You had an inkling there was a lot more to this than just yours and Wonwoo's phydical existence together 

“Soonyoung, you know how I feel about him," you started slowly.

“Why do you wait around for him? Let him step all over your heart like that? It hurts me too, you know. Makes me so fucking angry.”

"That's none of your business, Soonyoung."

"But it is, isn't? He's thr reason why we started this," his finger waving between the two of you, "in the first place. You wanted to 'get over him.' So why aren't you?"

You diverted your gaze from him, opting to look out the window instead, seas of cars pooling in front of you. Soonyoung had parked at the far end of the parking lot, only the needle of the space tower visible from here.

Soonyoung sucked in a sharp breath, his voice growing quier. “Have you ever considered being with someone other than Wonwoo? “Do you think anyone can change it?” Soonyoung pressed on. “Make you so fucking in love with them, you’ll forget him?”

"W-why do you ask?" you muttered.

"I need to know."

Your heart sank, dreading the very words you hoped would never fall from his lips. 

"I'm in love-"

You whipped around and placed a hand over his lips to stop him from confessing further. You were hyperventilating, your chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Kwon Soonyoung, we agreed no feelings,” you tried to remind him. 

Wrapping a hand around your wrist, he tugged your seal from his lips though you weren’t really trying to keep it on. 

Soonyoung chortled bitterly. “I broke that rule a long time ago, baby.” 

Plugging in his key, he twisted it, the engine roaring. Either hands gripping the wheel, he dipped his head into his chest, “Let’s stop here, Y/N – before we hurt each other even more.”

. . . .

It felt like the memory was burned behind his eyelids, sadistically forcing Wonwoo to watch it over and over again.

Soonyoung's body wrapped around yours. The way he gingerly took your hand and led you away. The look of guilt across your face when you looked back at Wonwoo as the two of you rounded the corner.

He took off his glasses, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes trying to rub off the images. Yet, they kept replaying. He didn't want to believe it, but Hyejin was right.

Soonyoung was fucking you behind his back.

The click of the door of your shared apartment caught Wonwoo’s attention. He threw a look over his shoulder, relieved, but fury already boiling, to find you leaning against the door your hands still tight on the handle.

"Where were you?" Wonwoo asked, his voice stern and hard. It was a tone you've never heard him use before. 

You opened your mouth, but no words came out.

The legs of his metal chair scraped across the wooden floor as he stood up. Afraid to look at him, you trained your eyes on the "Welcome" mat, the smiley face next to it seeming as if it was mocking you. His footsteps fell heavily and agonizingly slow in your direction, though each thump matching the beat of your pounding heart. His sock-covered feet stopped a few feet in front of you, the hem of his gray sweatpants swaying at his ankles. 

"Were you with him?" Wonwoo asked, his voice strained compared to before. If you didn't know him better, you wouldn't have guessed he was upset. But from the slight shake and the bob of his Adam's apple, you knew better that he was holding himself together the best he could until he exploded.

"Soonyoung," Wonwoo spat out, the taste of the man's name on his tongue bitter. "Were you with him?"

Your prolonged silence was enough to tell him the truth, but Wonwoo wanted to hear it. Until it came from your mouth, he refused to believe otherwise.

"Y/L/N Y/N!" 

You squeezed your eyes shut, trembling at his raised voices. You had to fears about Wonwoo hitting you - even if he was upset, he never would. Seldom did he get angry, and when he did, he was intimidating and you didn't know how to handle itm

"Fucking hell-"

Your peered up at him cautiously. "And if I was?"

Frustrated, Wonwoo ran a hand over his face. "He's just using you, Y/N, he doesn't love you."

His words pierced through your heart, twisting inside of you, knowing well he was wrong. But did you feel the same?

"It's not like I'm looking for love from him, Wonwoo," you opted to reply instead.

"Then why are you doing this? You know better than anyone how much I don't like him and why."

You scoffed at his selfishness. Soonyoung was right about one thing: He was so oblivious to it all. "When did my sex life involve you?"

"Y/N that's not the point."

"I don't need your permission to fuck anyone."

"Stop being stubborn!"

Shaking your head, you pushed yourself off the door and tried to walk around him with no avail.

"We're not done," Wonwoo said sternly. 

You pressed your lips in a tight line, side glancing at him, irritated. Roughly, you jerked your shoulder forward to shove him off, taking two steps back.

"How long?" Wonwoo deadpanned.

"February - Valentine’s Day," you replied, equally monotonous.

Wonwoo clenched his jaw. "Why?"

The silence that ensued was suffocating. Crossing your arms over your chest, shifted your weight onto your right hip and stared at him harshly, carefully scanning over his face for any signs of despair. He wouldn't be asking you all these questions if he didn't have some sort of inkling of feeling towards you, right?

Yet, you were only met with his stoic glare, piercing through his spectacles. Anger graced his face.

All this time, did he really not know how much you piped over him?

Did he really not know how much you loved him?

How long were you willing to wait for him?

It was now your turn to be upset. Anger clouding your judgment, you blurted the truth.

"You - it was because of you."

Wonwoo’s expression softened, his brows knitting in confusion. "W-what -"

You laughed bitterly. "Soonyoung was right," shaking your head, you continued, "Did you not see at all? Or did you just never consider the fact that I could be in love with you?"

Your words rang through his ear.

"Y-you had feelings for me," he said flatly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. The gesture suddenly wasn't so cute anymore.

"More than you'd ever know," you said softly. 

He nodded, slowly trying to process this information. It was as if a semi-truck rammed into his lanky body and he was stuck, unable to move. 

"I would've waited forever for you, Wonwoo," you pressed on when he didn't reply. "But now?" You shook your head. "You never loved me anyways."

That snapped a cord in him.

"Don't you dare say I never loved you," Wonwoo spat, taking another few steps towards you.

"It’s not the same, Wonwoo," you choked, your voice starting to waver.  You shook your head, wiping your eyes with the heels of your palm, "I've watched you for so long, girl after girl, wondering when you would finally wake up and see me too. Waiting for my turn. I figured if I waited long enough, perhaps I could be the last . . . Yours forever."

Yours forever. 

His forever.

Wonwoo's forever. 

He let the words sink, turning them over in his mind like a sandstone in his hand. For Wonwoo, it was a given that you’d be by his side forever. No one understood him better than you – you were his best friend. You knew what he needed when he was sorrowful. Rather than overwhelming him with happiness, you knew to keep your distance, reminding him of your constant support with small touches and gentle smiles from across the room. When he was angry, you knew to take him to karaoke so he could scream Yoon Do Hyun’s “It Must Have Been Love” to his heart's content. 

The possibility of being more never vividly occurred to him until now. Was it perhaps the reason why his past relationships never worked out? Why did he never feel satisfied with anyone else?

Could it really be because he was searching for you in someone else, when you were right beside him all along?

Wonwoo walked towards you slowly. Two steps forward for him was two steps back for you until your back met the door. Gingerly, he took your elbows and tugged you towards him, his other hand coming up to rest on your waist. Licking his lips, Wonwoo nervously raised his hand to caress your face, his thumb teasing at your chin like he did last night. He tilted your head up, forcing you to look at him, your eyes swollen and rimmed with tears that dripped down your cheek like diamonds rolling down the table. With the pads of his thumb, he wiped away a tear forming from the duct of your eyes. Remorse bubbling in his chest knowing he was the cause of all this pain. 

He tilted forward, gently resting his forehead against yours as he continued to stroke your smooth skin.

 "Did it not ever occur to you,” Wonwoo asked, his voice barely above a whisper, “that you could’ve asked me instead of Soonyoung?”

His question shattered the silence and tension like a rock to a glass window.

17 days of cheol - day 6: attacca op1 jacket shoot

seungkwan wearing earrings is something that can be so personal

(*/ω＼)

MINGYU ✦ ’_WORLD’ Band Live Session

My Way

bodyguard!mingi x princess!reader

royal au

word count: 18k

genre and warnings: fluff, angst, suggestive, violence warning

synopsis: you, the princess of wonderland, have been betrothed to the prince of utopia for years now. however, the political relation between wonderland and utopia have never improved, and utopia keeps taking over wonderland's land unlawfully. with your guard mingi who is also your best friend and who you have feelings for, you travel to utopia with a plan to deceive the prince and steal official documents that would be proof of their treachery, risking your life in more than one way when you can't hold your feelings for your guard back anymore.

If you were honest with yourself, you really, really were not ready to meet your ‘betrothed’ especially at perilous times like these. 

It wasn’t because of what one would normally think- the obvious nervousness and anxiety that would come with going to meet your betrothed for the first time in 15 years, no. It wasn’t that at all. You couldn’t care less about the poor guy who was betrothed to you. 

Neither was it the nervousness of travelling alone (save for your guards) for the first time in a while. Rather, that part excited you quite a bit- you really needed a breather from the suffocating air of the castle. 

It was because of the threat hanging on your head while you embarked on this journey, and the secret mission you were going to carry out while in the castle of your betrothed. The future of your kingdom Wonderland depended on it. And for the next generations to live without the fear of war and collapse of their homeland, you’d risk getting caught by the neighbouring kingdom and perhaps, risk your life. 

But one person was adamant on making you realise that there were worse things than death-

“Imagine staying in a cell for the rest of your life.”

“At least I won’t witness the collapse of my nation,” you raised a brow as if having proven a point.

Your guard, Mingi, dressed rather comfortably for a guard as you always pointed out, shook his head, the ash tendrils shaking violently. “Imagine hearing from their guards about the horrid details.”

“Well,” you ruffled your dress before sitting down and pouring yourself water. “At least you’ll be with me.”

“Helpless, your Highness,” his raspy voice rang in your ears, “I’d rather die than be helpless while you endure whatever they decide to do with you.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit mischievously, “You’d rather die?”

Mingi finally scoffed, indicating he was relaxing and was going to get comfortable with you now, “Sad that I have to, isn’t it? If it were up to me, I’d deliver you to their cell myself.”

“For a guard who’s supposed to die for me,” you scoffed back, “you sure got some evil plans there.”

Mingi sighed, taking a seat in front of you. As your guard for more than 5 years, there was a certain familiarity between you two which consisted of unspoken actions that spoke louder than words and a sense of comfortableness with each other. He bit his lips as he tried to think of the words to say. “Are you sure we can’t let other guards in on this mission?”

“I don’t trust anyone else,” you said and Mingi felt a sense of pride in his heart at your words, “Plus, they’re all kind of… chickens.”

“What makes you think I’m not?” Mingi laughed, but when your eyes went to his neck, he got his answer. 

3 years ago when he had protected you from an arrow aimed for your head and it had grazed his neck. Everything between you two changed after that- you started trusting him indefinitely and acknowledged him, unlike the various other guards that had been or were in your service. As for Mingi, he simply told you it was his ‘job’ but he didn’t complain about the special treatment he’d started to get-

“Still hung up over that, are you?” He teased. 

Such as being something close to a ‘friend’ to you and talking comfortably. 

You shook your head and exhaled. “Let’s get to the point. This is going to be a very normal trip, Mingi. We go to Utopia, I spend time pretending I have ‘feelings’ for my betrothed and get the information I need, and if I’m lucky, physical proof of the plotting they’ve been doing. You do the protecting, as usual. As soon as I have something, we make our way back-”

“You think he won’t notice? He’ll at least notice when you leave like that. And then they’re going to send their assassins for you.”

“Good thing I’m not a spoiled princess who can’t take care of herself then,” you smirked. 

One of the unusual things about Mingi as a guard was that when he had first been appointed, he had insisted you get professional self-defence training for extreme times. You insisted that you had guards for a reason, trying to avoid anything that involved physical activity, but he had been hell bent on getting you trained.

And oh, was he serious. You came out of dresses and threw men around, and you loved it. You never wanted to wear dresses again and be a princess whose only role was to look pretty for the public. 

Mingi smiled at that. “Can’t believe you’d be happy about it one day. But that training…” his face became grim, “It won’t be enough to protect you for long.”

“Should be enough if it’s you and me, and we only need to get to the border to be safe. Their castle is close to the border so it shouldn’t be that big a problem.”

“What if you find nothing?” Mingi asked as he got up to leave, “Will you end up marrying the Prince then?”

Now that was one thing you hadn’t given much thought to- you’d been avoiding thinking about that. “Let’s just hope I abhor the Prince and don’t end up falling for him. Imagine that. Imagine me willingly staying in the nation who plans our collapse in the foreseeable future.”

Mingi scoffed, “I’d like to see that- not the collapse of Wonderland,” he corrected immediately, a smirk on his face as he continued, “but you putting someone else over your oh-so-mighty self.”

“You live to see my downfall, don’t you?” You threw a pen at his walking figure which missed by an inch. “I bet you’re going to retire as soon as that day comes.”

“Absolutely right,” he saluted, leaving and you shook your head, going back to planning.

Your betrothed- Kim Dohyun. The last you’d seen him was when you both had been kids and unaware of the arrangements your parents had been making. A union, they called it, when in reality, over the 15 years, it just allowed the Kims to take advantage of Wonderland however they pleased, not crossing the boundary but sure walking on the borderline. You simply could not take it anymore, and neither could your parents. They decided to make you visit Utopia in hopes of a love blossoming between you two and the situation cooling down. 

You were going to take this chance to find physical proof of the treachery that had only been building over the years. And in the process, you’d be becoming an enemy yourself- if they found out. 

—--------------------

It was going to take one week to get to the border and one more day to get to Prince Dohyun’s castle. You had been on the road for two days now, and you were already bored out of your mind and incredibly tired.

“Serves you right,” Mingi, who was inside the carriage with you now, resting because of his shift change, said. “This is what you signed up for, Princess. There’s no way you can get home after what you’re about to do.”

“Good thing I have you,” you smirked. “I hope your back is in a good state because you’re going to be carrying me back.”

“No way,” Mingi scoffed, running a hand through his hair but the slight curve of his lips told you he was amused. “Okay, suppose we manage to help each other and make it halfway and something happens to me. I die. You’re all alone. What are you going to do then?”

“Hmm,” you thought about it, resting your chin on your hand as you peeked outside, the forest a lush green in the afternoon sun. “Hide. Blend in and catch a ride?”

“Our accents give us away. No one’s gonna believe you’re a Utopian. You can’t ‘blend in’.”

“Oh, I’ll see when the time comes,” you waved a hand in dismissal, “Right now, I think I’m going to pass away before I reach the border.”

You, of course, didn’t. A few days later you were at the border, very alive, and Mingi gave you a look that told you he remembered what you’d said. You rolled your eyes, peeking out of the window but Mingi immediately grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the window. 

“How many times have I told you,” he sighed as he looked at you, “not to put your head out of any window?”

“Sorry,” you muttered sheepishly, “I just wanted to get a look at Utopia. It’s been 15 years.”

“Just…” he left your arm and you didn’t realise he had still been holding it. “Don’t do anything dangerously stupid.”

You poked his thigh, “People are going to think you actually care, Mingi.”

“Just telling you,” he said as he slumped back, “that if I was not your guard, I would definitely take up any job that put a fair price on your pretty little head.”

You put a hurt hand over your heart dramatically. “Good thing I’m a Princess then and have the power to execute you whenever I please. You’d think as a guard, you’d have more respect- what in the heavens is that?”

Mingi turned to see what caught your attention- it was a very eye-catching carriage that screamed royal. He frowned, wondering if the Prince was going to come out of the carriage- had he really travelled to the border to receive you?

Instead, a man dressed rather neatly jumped out, fixing his black hair. You wowed audibly, earning a scoff from Mingi. “If the Prince isn’t as handsome as him, I’m returning first thing tomorrow.”

Mingi got out of the carriage, greeting the man as he approached. He gave him a firm handshake. “I am Joohyuk, Prince Dohyun’s Captain of Guard. I came to receive our Princess on his behalf.”

You didn’t miss the possessive term he’d used and neither did Mingi. Mingi introduced himself and Joohyuk insisted you travel in their carriage where refreshments awaited. Mingi looked at you and you took a deep breath, getting out of the carriage and passing a curtsy. 

“Utopia smells wonderful- is it the lily trees?”

“Definitely. I suppose it’s a breath of fresh air after your long journey,” he said and you nodded. “I am the Captain of Guard- Joohyuk. Please address me comfortably.”

“I shall,” you nodded. “I hope the Prince is well.”

“He is well and awaits you,” Joohyuk pointed to the carriage. “I hope you’ll join us on the ride he sent.”

“I hope my guard can join with me,” you looked at Mingi sheepishly who nearly rolled his eyes but stopped because of the formal air. “He has a back issue- at his age!”

That was Mingi’s last straw. “Are you sure it’s not because you’ll feel awkward, Princess?”

Joohyuk chuckled, “I see you two get along.”

“We have to, for both our sakes,” you motioned Mingi to follow you and the three of you got inside the spacey carriage where indeed, tarts and cookies awaited. You gladly took a few and kicked Mingi in the foot, unnoticed, when he didn’t move to take some as well. 

You and Joohyuk conversed about the general affairs of Utopia and Wonderland on the way to the inn that he told you was used by the Prince whenever he travelled as well. As you reached the very modern looking inn by night time, you realised the Prince must have an eye for extravagant things. 

When Joohyuk excused himself after making sure you were comfortable in your room, Mingi stopped roaming around the room and took a seat in front of you as you kicked your shoes off. “He’s very talkative.”

“Which is good for us,” you looked at him as you massaged your feet, “The more he talks, the more I can wring out of him.”

“I never said he’s dumb,” Mingi smirked. “He’ll only tell you what he thinks you need to know.”

“A flutter of the lashes can wring out twice than that,” you did exactly that and Mingi swatted the air, apparently disgusted. You sighed, “Will you stay close tonight?”

“Next room,” Mingi pointed, “I won’t be sleeping, if that’s what you’re worried about… or should I?”

“I don’t know,” you took the hair pin out, letting your hair flow down. “You’re the guard.”

“I think I’ll scan the perimeter. I should leave you to rest now.”

“Do get some sleep,” you called as he opened the door to leave, “I don’t want you looking like a puffer fish tomorrow.”

Even though he didn’t get much sleep, he wasn’t the one looking like a puffer fish the next day.

“You look fine,” Mingi groaned as you nearly cried at your reflection in the mirror, “That’s enough icing- you’ll turn blue if you do more. That should be enough to charm any prince.”

“I’m not doing this to charm the Prince… though I suppose we could say that,” you grinned. “You think he’ll even look at me if I appear in this state?”

“Well,” Mingi stood behind you, in front of the mirror, “Let me do something about that.”

You dropped your hands and watched as Mingi loosened your half tied hair, letting a few strands frame your face from both sides. You were more focused on how well dressed he was as well- you hadn’t seen Mingi wear something other than black in years. Blue suited him.. 

“You look good. You shouldn’t look so good. Who are you trying to impress?”

“Maybe a few ladies at the castle,” he grinned, tying the rest of your hair, “Maybe the Prince. Who knows? Maybe the Prince and I could get along better than you two could ever.”

“Ha, ha,” you rolled your eyes and Mingi took a step back to let you see what he did. “Wow. This actually worked. Were you a hairstylist before a guard?”

“This is common sense, Princess,” he laughed, “Come on. Joohyuk must be getting nervous now.”

After a light breakfast with Joohyuk because he insisted a feast was prepared for you for lunch, you travelled the rest of the way in your own carriage, telling him you were representing Wonderland. As you reached the castle, the glassy structure much different from the vintage brick building you were used to living in, you realised the public wasn’t unaware of your arrival- several passersby waved at your carriages and you waved back, wondering for a moment if your arrival could be much more than the mission only you and Mingi knew about.

If you could, perhaps, sort things out without creating a mess and find a suitable life partner in Dohyun.

Because he certainly took your breath away with how striking he looked, and even Mingi snickered as if he could hear you think. It took you two a moment of scanning each other before he bowed and you curtsied. 

“Princess y/n,” he smiled, “It’s been too long.”

“It certainly has,” you smiled back, following him to the Great Hall, admiring the teals and browns along the way. “The castle is extraordinary- it has changed a lot from the last time I visited.”

"I hope it is to your liking, as well as… this feast," he smiled warmly at you as he motioned for you to sit. "Enjoy your meal."

As you dug in the delicacies of their region, you almost forgot Mingi who was sitting not far from you- not because the Prince had you in his spell, but because you were in a trance at how cheerful and talkative he was. It was easier for you this way because you didn't have to sit in awkward silence and think about a topic to converse over. You liked that he could lead the conversation.

"I used to eat 10 of these when I was a kid," Dohyun put a spoonful of chocolate pudding in his mouth.

"I can see why," you nearly scoffed but you were in love with the thing too. "I think I remember your father catching you in the corridor with pudding smeared all over your clothes."

"I don't know whether to be happy or embarrassed that you remember that," he chuckled and you looked at him- for a son of the nation that planned your downfall, he was quite something else. Could this all be an act, or did he genuinely not know anything about the fragile political situation between your kingdoms?

You got the answer to that when he accompanied you to the royal chambers where a whole chamber was for you. "I hope we can put politics aside and get to know each other well, Princess," Dohyun's voice was low and you paused with a raised brow as you looked at him. "I know things haven't been the best but… we could be a means to end this, couldn't we?"

You wondered if he was behaving well so this arrangement could resolve the conflict or if he was genuinely interested in you- you as an individual. You nodded slowly, "I travelled here for a reason, Prince. And so far… I haven't been disappointed at all."

Dohyun smiled after you, nodding as he waved goodnight and left you two in your chamber. You immediately slumped as the door shut and massaged your forehead as you sat down on the couch. You ignored the sounds of disappointment Mingi made. "You two should really become actors. That was quite something back there."

You opened one eye to glare at him sitting in front of you. “Let’s not forget the real reason we’re here, Mingi. The King and Queen were absent throughout the day. Do you think this means they aren’t interested in this arrangement anymore?”

“I mean… considering they were in the castle but too busy to meet you… probably. But Prince Dohyun is playing a diplomat. What’s your plan?”

“I think I should take two or three days to feel him out. Let’s see if he really is interested in peace or not,” you pursed your lips as you recalled what he’d said before he’d left. “He’s quite handsome though, isn’t he? It’ll be a shame if this arrangement was for nothing after all.”

Mingi shook his head, “I knew this was all it was gonna take for you to have second thoughts-”

You threw the nearest thing you could grab which happened to be a small box with something inside and Mingi expertly caught it without flinching, smug. He shuffled the box, frowning as he opened it and his face lit up. “Chocolates!”

“Now, now, hand me that,” you waved your hand but he, out of routine, took one and sniffed it before eating.

“There you go,” he threw the box back at you and your heart warmed at how he always took the first bite out of whatever you were to eat when your maid wasn’t around to check for poison. You made sure he got your look of gratitude before you picked a chocolate and sighed at how scrumptious it was. 

“Suppose this really is a ruse,” you said after a moment. “I need physical proof. You have two to three days to get an idea of the layout of the castle. I’ll figure out where such documents would be hidden.”

The next three days were the most interesting days of your life so far- only because it had been quite boring with your mechanical routine back in your castle. You supposed it would only get more interesting from here and you weren’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

But so far, so very good. Dohyun lived up to his apparent charms as he showed you around the castle, talked to you about politics or hobbies- you learned that he liked to play the piano and he promised to play it for you soon. You met the King and the Queen who apologised for being ‘busy’ earlier. A dinner together revealed that the King and Queen were, after all, not interested in this arrangement anymore, though they never said it out loud. You just had to thank your intuition for that. They were more interested in gaining leverage over their neighbouring kingdoms and sadly, yours was one of them.

Dohyun, however, was proving to be difficult to decipher. When in the presence of his parents, he would become someone else and agree with everything they had to say. But when it was only you two, he would say something that would contradict his earlier statements. You really were confused, and Mingi suggested you become his ‘friend’ so he could really open up to you.

You did that on your third night here, when you two were in the gardens. You asked Dohyun if he had ever fallen in love with someone.

Dohyun looked at you, “Was I supposed to?”

You smiled at him. “I know there’s an arrangement between us, Dohyun, but really, we were strangers until three days ago. And we are both young. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“Have you?” He shifted towards you.

You sighed, “I didn’t, but if I have to admit, I was open for an opportunity. I just didn’t meet someone I clicked with.”

“I understand,” Dohyun sighed, “You’re right. It would be crazy if we didn’t even look at someone else, right?”

“Exactly what I mean,” you nodded. 

“I haven’t been a saint in that case- but I haven’t gone that far, don’t worry-”

You laughed out loud and he ended up laughing too. You shook your head, “I’m not going to judge you if you have! I’m hoping we can be friends, at least, Dohyun. I’m hoping you can talk to me about anything, even if this arrangement doesn’t meet its conclusion.”

Dohyun put a hand over yours, caressing it and you raised a brow in anticipation. “I know what you mean. You’re here for a month, right?” You nodded and he continued, “Let’s be friends. Let’s be unbiased with each other and if nothing else comes out, I hope we can end things on a good note.”

“Thank you, Dohyun,” you squeezed his hand, “Truly. But…” you caressed his hand, “I’m open to finding my life partner in you, Dohyun. Are you?”

Dohyun smiled teasingly as he nodded and you stifled your own smile as you looked down, ignoring the twinge of guilt in your heart because this wasn’t the entire truth, after all. As if reflexively, you peeked behind you to make sure Mingi was there, and like always, he was there, not far from you two, monitoring you. A constant pillar of strength. He passed a smile that said ‘you’re doing good’ and you sighed in relief internally. 

—----------------

“I have mapped out every known exit in the castle,” Mingi was making a rough sketch on the paper as he addressed you, who were currently polishing her fingernails. “I just need to check for hidden passages.”

“Are you losing your touch?” You teased, “I don’t remember you being slow, Mr. Song.”

“I don’t remember you ever paying attention to how much your nails gleamed but I’m not complaining, Princess.”

You deadpan stared at him and he stared back until his eyes curved as he smiled widely, bursting into laughter and you shook your head. “You really can’t win a staring competition. I wonder how long it takes for you to break apart when you stare at your enemies. And as for the nails… I plan to seduce our Prince.”

“Seduce?” Mingi scoffed, “You? I’m sorry if I’m crossing a line when I say this but I don’t think seduction is your forte, Princess.”

Mingi was really getting on your nerve now and you stopped rubbing your nails as you paid full attention to him. “What makes you think so?”

“I’ve been monitoring you for five years now, in case you forgot,” Mingi went back to making the layout of the castle, “I don’t recall you ever even trying.”

“That means you don’t know yet,” you smiled victoriously, “I just haven’t had the opportunity to try that on someone.”

“Thank goodness you haven’t, because I don’t think I could have stomached the sight of it.”

You sighed as you continued to stare at Mingi, wondering how you’d come here. You let your guard say such blunt things to you, something no guard in the history of Wonderland would have dared to, and yet… you liked it because Mingi wasn’t just your guard. He was your friend. If he hadn’t been your friend and had said such things…

“You look like you want to kill me.”

“I do,” you scoffed, “Just wondering why I let you of all the people in this world talk like that to me.”

“Aw, do you want to execute me for the disrespect?” Mingi made a sad face.

“See?” You threw your hands in the air, the two of you laughing, “I’m both hurt and glad that I have you as my guard and as my friend. I hope you do know that despite everything, I really wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Mingi narrowed his eyes at you, “You’re quite sentimental today.”

“I am,” you smiled, “I also want you to know that your presence comforts me wherever I am. You’re like… a pillar. Pun intended.”

“Carry on,” Mingi said, clearly enjoying it.

“I’m glad for all that I’ve learned from you-”

“Okay, hold up,” Mingi put his pencil down and dragged his seat in front of you, “What do you want?”

You considered not telling him but then you sighed. “I want you to leave me alone when I seduce him.”

“Not a chance,” Mingi shook his head, “I don’t trust him yet.”

“And how long is it gonna take for you to trust him?” You scoffed, “Mingi, this is about protecting my home. I think we both can take a little risk-”

“I cannot,” Mingi shook his head furiously, “I simply can not.”

“Mingi,” you sighed, “It’s not like I’m doing anything weird! I’m not gonna go that far. I only aim to get him a bit comfortable-”

“As your guard, I cannot allow this,” Mingi’s eyes were the most serious you’d seen. “He is in a position where he can harm you. He is not yours officially yet, so as a guard, my job is to hold him back if he tries to harm you. Do you know how badly that could end?”

You knew what he meant- if he interfered, which was his job, it could ruin anything that could start between you and Dohyun. It could be the beginning of the end. You cleared your throat, straightening, “I understand that this is your job. I’ll let you accompany me for a while but when things escalate, I need you to give me privacy, Mingi. This is an order as a Princess.”

“Only if I trust him not to harm you.”

You groaned, “You’re never going to!”

“Yeah, maybe I am not!” Mingi’s voice rose and he got up, “I cannot take this risk, why don’t you understand that?”

“I’ll take responsibility if anything happens-” you stopped when you saw the hurt flash across his eyes and you frowned in confusion.

“You’re never going to understand. I’m not saying this as your guard anymore,” his voice was low and he looked like he was about to take a step forward but then he stopped. “I, as your friend or whatever… I don’t allow this.”

With that, he left, leaving your hand extended in the air about to stop him but you let him go, wondering if he needed to clear his head and think alone, scoffing because now you needed to do the same too. Because… 

You’d never seen Mingi so frustrated. And the way he looked at you…

You shook your head, ridding yourself of stupid thoughts as you started memorizing the layout.

—---------------

"If we get caught," you whispered as you glared at Mingi, "It's going to be the end of us."

"Stop being so dramatic, nobody's getting caught," Mingi gripped your arm tighter. "Besides, if anyone does see us… they won't be walking out of here alive."

"Ooh," you smirked. "That's both scary and-"

You nearly screamed yourself when Mingi jumped, a low squeal coming from his mouth as he hid behind you. You scoffed at the tiny bug that stood- probably scared as well- in front of you.

"I can't believe I'm exploring a secret passage inside the castle of my potential enemy with my guard who is scared of bugs."

"Everyone is scared of something," Mingi muttered, unmoving. "Now do something about it."

You rolled your eyes so hard your head hurt. Handing your torch to Mingi, you bent down and flicked the bug away, clearing the passage for your guard. He bowed in thanks as he took the lead again. You shook your head. "Imagine the enemy has a dagger to my throat. You aim to free me by throwing your own dagger at my captor. But because of a mere bug, you miss, and I die. Imagine getting executed because of a bug, Mingi."

"I'm not always scared," Mingi pouted and you smiled at the adorableness of it, smacking his arm playfully. "We're here- this path leads to the Prince's chamber and this one to the exit."

You were at a fork now and you folded your arms as you calculated how long it took to get here from your room. "2 minutes. That's shorter than the time it actually takes."

"We don't know if the guards or the others know about this passage yet so we should leave without further delay," Mingi pointed to a lit torch not far away towards the exit. "Probably a few people know of this place. Let's blow ours out- you memorised the path, didn't you?"

"I did," you nodded, fixing the torch in an empty stand. "Let's move."

The two of you were moving as silently as you two could, until you reached another divergence and heard faint voices. Before you could do anything, Mingi had you by your arm, nearly slamming you on the wall in the nearest opening so that you two would be hidden unless someone came your way. With a hand on your mouth and a 'shh' in your ear, he got a nod from you and you reflexively held onto his shirt.

The faint voices grew and light filled gradually, allowing you to realise just how close your guard was, his eyes fixed on his hand on your mouth, the other hand resting on your waist. And maybe because it was the dim lights that you scanned his face properly for the first time in a while, taking in the mole under his eye, his sharp nose, his sharp eyes that could be the warmest that you'd ever known within the span of seconds, his thick, plump lips-

He licked them.

Your heart sank to your feet because gosh, he was hot. Unreasonably, undeniably hot and it was a shame that he was only your guard-

As the voices grew louder, he shifted so your bodies were touching and he locked eyes with you. You could see the apology in his eyes but also…

Mischief. No regrets. Or were you reading too much into it? You couldn't tell because you were currently preoccupied by the sensation that coursed through your body at the closeness between you two, and you felt a sudden twinge of guilt because this wasn't the first time you'd felt it.

As Mingi drew back and his absence hit, you reminded yourself that he was only doing his job as your guard. He probably thought of you as a bratty Princess, nothing more. You looked at him, finding it hard to maintain eye contact and Mingi sighed.

"Sorry for that- I wasn't expecting company."

"It's… okay. Not your fault," you whispered back, putting your hand back on his arm and urging him to move and this time you two were quicker and made your way out to your chamber. He hid the entrance with the tapestry that hung and you shook your head. "How did you even figure this out?"

"I may have 'accidentally' slammed myself across this tapestry while avoiding a goddamn bug," Mingi said and you grinned. "I noticed the sound."

"You do realise that if the Prince is aware of this secret path, he could very well enter here anytime? Or send someone?"

"Which is why this," Mingi motioned to the sitting area, "is to be my bedroom now."

"I've been hearing you snore for days now, Mingi," you raised a brow. "You sure you can even hear anyone entering over the sound of your snoring?"

Mingi raised a brow back, "You're lying."

You grinned, slumping on the couch, "I was. I just wanted to check if you're actually doing your duty-"

"I'm the Head of the Guards, you think I'm not aware of my surroundings when I sleep?" 

You laughed at how it looked like he was genuinely hurt that you could think otherwise. "Of course I do, I'm just playing with you," you shook your head in amusement. "Do you think I should sneak up to the Prince's room and give him a surprise?"

Mingi scoffed as he slumped down beside you, massaging his temples. "Go ahead. His guard would probably kill you before he could see you."

"I should practise sneaking up on you," you said casually.

You were serious. One night later, when you couldn't sleep, you didn't even bother picking up your candle since the moonlight was enough and you sneaked out through your room, not making a sound, thanks to Mingi's lessons. You paused in front of Mingi's slightly ajar door- you had to practically fight-argue with him to stop him from sleeping on the couch and to just sleep in his own bed- no one was going to dare creep up on you two. He instead opted on setting a trap at the entrance of the passage beneath the tapestry and slept with his door open.

Which led you to sneak in inside, snickering silently when you saw Mingi sleeping rather peacefully, mouth slightly parted. You walked to the window, finding a little moth sleeping peacefully as well. You picked it up, nearly giggling as you silently treaded to where Mingi was asleep-

He looked really handsome even when asleep.

You couldn't help but compare the dynamic you had with him to the one you had with Dohyun, which, currently, wasn't much. Dohyun was, as a human, nice. Friendly. Caring, even. But…

He wasn't Mingi.

You bit your lip as you tried to stop the longing that coursed through you, recalling the first time when you had looked at Mingi differently- you had sneaked up on him exactly like this as a revenge for all the harsh training he was making you do. You didn't like how strict and serious a mentor he was because you were naturally mischievous even in serious times. So you made the mistake of sneaking up on him when he was asleep and he nearly killed you-

"How long are you going to stand and stare-"

"Goodness gracious," you came out of memory lane, putting a hand over your heart, your eyes wide. "Were you awake?"

"I wasn't but I heard the sound of your footsteps."

"I didn't make a sound."

"I recognised it anyway," Mingi shifted in his position a bit. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Exactly what you think. And I wasn't staring at you, I was just wondering if you were going to try and kill me like last time."

Mingi shook with laughter as he recalled that time- he had been sleeping on the floor at that time for a quick nap and when you got near, he basically slammed you down on the ground and had a dagger positioned at your throat, which scared the living soul out of you. 

What he didn't know was that something about the way he had looked at you when he recognised you had shifted your heart and you never looked at him the same again.

"You want me to do that to you again?" Mingi scoffed, "because you're asking for it at this point, really."

"No, thanks," you pursed your lips. "I'm good. I do have this for you-"

Mingi swatted your hand and the moth went flying away and you pouted. He stared at you for a minute before he raised a brow because you were still standing and he didn't know what you wanted. "You wanna sit down, Princess?"

Your eyes involuntarily fell to the space beside him on the edge of the bed and he scooted away so you could sit. You did so, one knee up and you sighed, "I couldn't sleep. I'm just… nervous about tomorrow."

"It's just a date," Mingi said but something about his tone was restrictive. "It's your chance to feel him out. He is your betrothed- you really need to see if there is a future with him after all."

"I can't believe you're the one saying this," you muttered and he frowned in confusion. "I just… What if everything is politically fine and we don't have to go with the mission even, but I don't… feel a spark for him? What if I don't want to marry him, Mingi?"

Mingi's heart clenched at the way your voice came to be barely a whisper as you said his name. He gulped. "I'm not the one you should be talking to about this-"

"You are the only one I can talk about this to," you made sure your eyes conveyed your trust as you said this. "I could never say this out loud to someone else, and you know that."

Mingi sighed, putting an arm under his head so he could look at you better, still lying down. "I'm only a guard. Okay, maybe a friend too. So as a friend… talk to your parents?"

"They'll never allow this," you practically spat as you said, "They always disapprove of everything I do. You know that all too well."

He did. They were against the training Mingi had you take but he had convinced them, emphasizing the need for self-defence thanks to the history of assassinations and murders that met your ancestors. They also disapproved that you were friendly with Mingi but his professional attitude made them dismiss that. 

His professional attitude and your stubbornness to not cooperate with any other guard. But he did not know that.

"Why do you think you won't like him, if everything else is okay?" Mingi asked, wondering if he should be having such a private conversation with a Princess, but then again… you never made him feel like a mere guard.

"I don't wish to stay beside someone I don't love. I could miss the chance of being happy for the rest of my life because of one wrong decision."

"But decisions like these… you never really know if you're right until you're halfway there, isn't it?"

You smiled at that. He was right. You stared at him, wondering if he could see what you felt for him in your eyes. If he did… 

Was he ignorant or dismissing it on purpose? And if it was the latter, did it mean he didn't return the feelings?

"You look like you're about to cry, and I cannot have that."

You laughed, looking up as you stifled the tears. You felt Mingi scoot a bit and he touched your hand hesitantly but you snaked your fingers in his. He squeezed it reassuringly. "I'm by your side, Princess. Don't be scared."

You nodded, looking at your intertwined hands and staring at them for the longest time as flashes of what could be a happy future with Mingi ran across your eyes. You looked at him, nearly asleep, and you took that chance to kiss his hand, making him look at you with surprise.

"You're everything I need Mingi. And everything I'll ever need. Thank you for being the way that you are."

Before he could respond, you let go of his hand and went to your room, leaving him wondering just what you meant. 

—---------------

Dohyun proved to be a good person throughout your day, his manners very much like a gentleman, and you liked that he could make you laugh. He showed you around town, making sure you were comfortable, buying you anything that caught your attention, and even treating you to the town’s best desserts.

“I have to admit, you have quite a sense of humour,” Dohyun said as he finished eating his vanilla ice-cream. “You don’t let me breathe.”

“That means I’m doing a great job,” you smiled, finishing your own chocolate flavoured ice-cream as well. “I also have to admit that your reputation precedes you.”

“How so?” Dohyun was curious, running a hand through his dark hair before resting his chin on his hands.

“You know,” you shrugged, “I’ve heard things about you. You’re better than what I heard.”

“And what does that mean for me?” Dohyun wiggled his brows flirtatiously.

“Well,” you leaned forward, scanning his face, “Maybe this princess would have to consider you properly after all… But as a prince, don’t you have something you’d use to woo me? Like… a winning strike?”

“Ah, I see how it is,” Dohyun laughed, understanding that you were both serious and pulling his leg at the same time- he liked that about you. “We’ll have to be back at the castle for that. Piano does the trick usually. But… what’s your winning strike, Princess?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” you pouted as you thought about it, “Do I even need one?”

“That’s not fair!” Dohyun shook his head and you laughed.

“Well, you have to blame my lack of experience in that department.”

“You make it sound like I spent all my years practising how to win- or rather, ‘woo’ people.”

“I imagine that you did, Prince,” you teased. “After all, with someone who looks like you… it’d be a shame if you weren’t a professional in that department.”

“Ah,” Dohyun sat back. “Sometimes I can’t tell if you’re serious or not.”

“And that’s what’s so fun about chatting with me,” you got up. “Shall we?”

The two of you rode back to the castle, where Dohyun opened up about some embarrassing incidents from the past with women. You learned that he wasn’t always good at interacting which led to awkward circumstances, such as a few ladies making advances, not knowing he was ‘betrothed’, and then never showing themselves again when they learned.

“But it’s not like we were engaged,” you frowned. “Our parents just thought it would be a good idea and gave us the chance to see if we feel so too, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, but people tend to think it’s more romantic than that,” Dohyun sighed. “Don’t you think they made a mistake announcing that publicly? It may have driven off our chances at something better.”

“I agree that there is a possibility of that, and also a possibility that this was a good decision after all. I guess we’ll know as time passes by. Can I trust you to tell me if you feel like I’m not the one for you? I wouldn’t want you to marry me under… pressure.”

Dohyun nodded, understanding. “But… you have to admit there’s a factor of pressure holding us down as well, no matter how miniscule it is. It changes how we think of each other.”

He was right. You nodded slowly, wondering if this was a good time to learn how he thought of you as a rival kingdom’s daughter. “Suppose there was no agreement between us, and I came to smoothen things up between our kingdoms. What do you think would have happened?”

Dohyun fell silent for a moment, and you knew whatever came out of his mouth wouldn’t be entirely true then. “I think we would still get along like we do now. But… I would, of course, have to put my kingdom first before any sort of relationship, just like you would do.”

“That’s right,” you nodded. “Are we still putting our kingdom first, Dohyun?”

“Isn’t that why you’re here in the first place?” He smiled, “We’re here.”

After freshening up in your own rooms, he gave you the promised tour of the library. You wowed as you entered the grand room, numerous shelves lining the walls, ample space to sit and study. “Do you come here often?”

“Not as much as I used to,” Dohyun sighed. 

“I suppose you know your history,” you asked and he nodded. “Are history books truly different in every kingdom?”

“Everyone has created their own version of the past,” Dohyun said, guiding you to the shelf which contained the history of how the kingdoms of Wonderland, Utopia, and other nations that were once one broke apart. “I suppose history is the people, and people tend to be biased.”

“I agree,” you said, “I happened to read the history books of Eden and Halaland. Their versions were quite different from ours.”

“Nobody would paint themselves as the enemy now, would they?” He looked at you and you shrugged in agreement. “To their people, everyone is the hero.”

“But as rulers, we have to be unbiased and objective. Facts before anything else.”

“And what are your facts?” Dohyun smiled as he asked. “Are you sure your facts are correct?”

“Let’s see…” you smiled, “Would you like to have a battle of facts?”

The two of you ended up discussing the history of independence, finding out it was pretty much the same for both of you. You started leaning towards the relationship between Wonderland and Utopia, since this was probably the only chance you’d get and learning how he thinks and makes decisions.The two of you promised each other it won’t affect your judgement of each other- after all, you two were only sharing what you’d learned from your ancestors.

It ended up in a heated argument nonetheless. You scoffed as you almost glared at him. “Trade. How many times precious cargo from Wonderland has ‘gone missing’ on the way to Eden?”

“Are you implying Utopia has something to do with it?” Dohyun raised a brow.

“I mean,” you passed him a smug look, “It only goes missing when we take the shortcut- from Wonderland to Utopia to Eden. But whenever we go around Utopia- Halaland, Mist Island, and then Eden, though the journey takes twice as long, there hasn’t been one instance where the cargo vanished.”

“And why do you think Utopia has something to do with that?” Dohyun smirked. “It could be your people smuggling things here.”

“In which case, both of us would be to blame, wouldn’t it?” You challenged and you two stared at each other before he gave in, chuckling.

“Fair enough,” he clapped once. “While we’re on this topic, I do have something I should address too. The border situation in the North.”

“Sensitive topic,” you smiled but nodded. “What do you think?”

“What I know is that the people of Wonderland in the north love to aggravate the temper of Utopians.”

“And what I know is that Utopians are planning and slowly taking over the North.” You looked at him and noticed how he didn’t flinch.

“What makes you people think so?”

“Apart from the fact that we already lost a chunk of land to Utopia?” You challenged.

“If we truly ‘took’ it, wouldn’t we have declared it our territory officially?”

“It could be a part of your plan,” you said and Dohyun gaped at you, making you break the tense atmosphere and laugh in dismissal. “I’m just saying! You’d think so too if you were in my shoes. And I’m only saying what I know- doesn’t mean it’s necessarily the truth.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, relaxing as he sighed. “I’m also… only stating what I know. Of course, I haven’t witnessed the situation myself so I’m dependent on the people who provide me the information.”

“They could always be lying,” you told him, “We should never fully trust the people who provide us the information.”

“Wise words,” Dohyun smiled. “I should keep that in mind. This was… fun, actually. You’d make a great leader, Princess.”

“And so would you,” you smiled, struggling to make it reach your eyes. “You’ve made it so much easier for me to make my decision regarding you now.”

“Oh? And what would that be?” Dohyun’s eyes lit up.

“Well…” you passed a flirtatious smile, “I think I should really hear you play the piano before I tell you.”

He laughed, getting up and offering you his arm which you took, following him to the room attached to the library where several musical instruments were placed and it looked like someone played them regularly. You smiled. “It’s a nice idea to have music playing near the library.”

“The one thing I really like about the castle,” Dohyun nodded, going to sit in front of the piano and checking the keys while you walked around, your hands sweating.

You had made your decision. 

It was going to be extremely difficult to live with Dohyun when he truly believed Utopia could never be at fault. You knew now that marrying him would change nothing of the political situation between your kingdoms- it would only give Utopia even more leverage. So you would really have to carry on with your mission now.

And everything following this moment depended on you making Dohyun believe you were truly in love with him. You would have to tread carefully from now on, and somehow get access to his chamber where he must be keeping the documents regarding the border since he was in charge of the situation there.

“I’m ready when you are,” Dohyun called and you urged him to start, going to stand beside him. 

But despite everything, you had to admit he certainly was charming. The way he played the piano was beautiful, and you gently sat down beside him, resting your head on his shoulder as he played something beautiful that made you calm. 

It was truly a shame that Dohyun had to be the enemy’s son.

As he played, you thought about Mingi. The joy in your life. Your guard. If you, a Princess, got in a relationship with your guard… if anyone learned of that back in your home, you knew Mingi wouldn’t be spared. You wouldn’t be spared as well. 

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as the haunting melody played in your head. When you decided to visit Utopia, you truly wanted to forget about Mingi and consider Dohyun, but coming here only strengthened the feelings you had for your guard. Perhaps, he liked you too, but you knew he had way better control than you had. Could you truly not be with him? What rule said that you could not be with a man who happened to be your guard as well? What better partner than someone who would willingly give his life for you, who cared for you more than his own self?

Dohyun stopped playing and he rubbed your back when he saw your glazed eyes. You pretended that it was for him. You wiped your eyes. “You played beautifully.”

It was the truth. He did not need to know that his beautiful playing evoked memories of another man. Dohyun smiled, tucking your hair behind your ears. You were suddenly glad that Mingi wasn’t here because you were sure your eyes would have betrayed you if you looked at him now. 

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Dohyun almost whispered, caressing your cheek. You suddenly felt your heart tighten with panic as he drew closer and closer-

You bit your lip to stop the sigh of relief when you heard a knock- truly a god-sent miracle as Dohyun, disappointed, pulled back and cleared his throat. It was Joohyuk. “You’re needed in the courtroom. Right now.”

Dohyun nodded and you two got up. “Thank you for a wonderful time, Dohyun. I’ll never forget today.”

Dohyun kissed your hand before following Joohyuk, taking you with him until you parted ways in the corridor. You made your way back, escorted by his guard, holding back your tears as you entered your chamber-

And there sat Mingi, sharpening his daggers. You sighed in relief when you saw him but you knew it was a bad time. Mingi saw your glazed eyes and put his daggers down. “Are you okay? Did he say something to you?”

“I’m… okay, he didn’t say anything,” you took a deep breath. “I just… need to be alone right now.”

He saw the tears spill before you went to your room, and you slumped down on the floor as you cried. Mingi knocked on your door, asking you to find him if you wanted to talk. It only made you cry harder, and then you hastily wiped your eyes as anger consumed you.

You’d go back to your home. You’d break all the rules that said you couldn’t be with someone not of your status. You’d change the law if there was one about this, though to your knowledge, there wasn’t actually a law, but since you were considered to be someone else’s betrothed, you were bound now. Being with Mingi now would only put a threat on his life, but you’d protect him with yours.

You just needed to see if Mingi felt the same way about you. Because if he didn’t…

You’d never be whole again.

—------------

That night, you told Mingi everything that happened between you and Dohyun, now in a better mood since you had a plan. 

“So, with a heavy heart, I regret to inform you that we need to carry on with our life-threatening mission of me finding access to his chamber, which is definitely where he hid those documents that will give us the proof to save Wonderland. And what better way to access a man’s chamber than to-”

“You’re not doing that to yourself,” Mingi shook his head.

“It’s okay, Mingi,” you sighed. “Dohyun, as a person, isn’t all that bad. He won’t do anything that crosses the line.”

“But what is your plan? What happens after… he takes you there?”

You grinned. “Remember that trick you learned from the magician that came with the circus two years ago? That fire trick?”

“Don’t tell me you’re setting the Prince on fire.”

“Of course not,” you slapped Mingi’s arm. “I’m setting his room on fire.”

“Unbelievable,” Mingi shook his head, looking despaired. “Why?”

“When there’s a fire, dear old guard,” you smiled, “Our eyes immediately move to our dearest possession. I don’t think his dearest possession is me yet, so he’ll naturally look in the direction of whatever box or safe he keeps. After that… we wait for him to go on one of his tours so we take this passage to his room and voila.”

Mingi stared at you, arms folded. “I have to admit that the plan is quite genius,” you smiled victoriously at that, “but very risky. You’ll need to practise that trick. Not everyone can get the hang of that, but considering you’re good with cards already…”

“See?” you flipped your hair, “I have it all planned out.”

Mingi got up, showing you how the trick worked. It involved a single card dipped in a very flammable potion, and a little friction would spark it. You’d only have to hide the card in your sleeve and rub it across the rough part of Dohyun’s clothes and throw it on the nearest fabric. The card would turn to soot and disappear in a second, leaving you completely innocent. No one would suspect anything or anyone- not a mere princess, at least.

Because no one knew that you were trained as good as any soldier. To everyone else but Mingi, you were only a spoiled royal who knew nothing except how to look pretty and how to play politics, like every other princess.

A few hours later, you mastered the trick. The only thing left now was to practise igniting it on your partner’s clothes.

“So I’m going to obviously have to, um…” you pursed your lips, “do… things to the Prince and let him do things to me-”

“Shut up,” Mingi put a hand over his ears, his laugh not quite as hearty as it usually was.

“Can we pretend to be in a…” you tried to find the right word as you struggled with motioning with your hands, “compromising? position- so I can practise- oh, bloody hell, let’s just get this done with.”

You threw your hands in the air as you took Mingi’s hands and put them on your waist, making him utterly surprised and you put your hands on his shoulder, locking eyes with him. “Just like we’re dancing, yeah?”

With much struggle, because you had no idea what Mingi felt right now, he nodded, his hands resting on your hips and bringing you closer. “Let’s be professional about this.”

You raised a brow at how his voice was raspier now, nodding and snaking your hands behind his neck. “You’re too tall. Bend down a little- Dohyun’s height.”

Mingi did and you rubbed the card on his collar, the card catching fire and you immediately blew it. “This works! Does it smell?”

“No- the potion makes sure you can’t smell anything until it spreads,” Mingi said, stepping back away from you. “Are you sure you can do this?”

“Well,” you gulped, deciding to risk everything now. “I’ll need to kiss him.”

Mingi groaned at the unnecessary revelation. “And? You seem to have no problem with that.”

“I do have one,” you stifled your smile as you looked at him. “I don’t know how to kiss.”

“Ugh, why am I your guard again? I don’t need to know that! I’m supposed to be protecting you, not listening to your lack of experience!”

You laughed at how flustered he was. “For a guard, you sure have quite a few things to say to me, eh?”

Mingi looked at you- he knew he was to blame too. He never realised when exactly you two became so comfortable with each other, when you started sharing personal things with him, when he started telling you about himself… he was only supposed to protect you but he had ended up becoming your friend, which he knew was highly unprofessional. 

“I have a serious problem here, Mingi,” you said, putting your hands over your hips, “This plan won’t work if I can’t even kiss him properly.”

“So what’s your next plan?”

“I don’t have another plan,” you said quietly, your heart beating rapidly now. “I need you to teach me how to kiss.”

“Say that again?” Mingi frowned, wondering if he heard it wrong. You exhaled, locking eyes with him.

“I need you…. To teach me how to kiss.”

Mingi gaped at you. “You’re not serious.”

“I am,” you said through clenched teeth. “Be professional about this. Everything depends on this single plan, which is the only possible route I see. Everything depends on how I perform… all this. If I can’t do it properly, Wonderland could fall.”

“Wonderland could fall if you don’t know how to kiss someone properly?” Mingi scoffed.

“Mingi. Think about it.”

Mingi did, and realised you were right. “Well.. you know, I don’t have to teach you. It just… happens. You’d be good, don’t worry.”

“Mingi.”

Mingi groaned, his ears red, “I can’t do this, Princess. I cannot touch you. I am your guard. I would be executed if anyone learns of this- nevermind me, you’d have to face worse things than a mere execution if anyone learns you’re doing such things with a mere guard-”

“But you are not a mere guard to me,” you took his hand. “Never think that you are only a guard to me. You are… much more. If I tell you what you mean to me, you’d resign first thing, Mingi.”

Mingi sighed at that, squeezing your hand. “This shouldn’t be happening.”

“Who said that?” You tilted your head, smiling. “And besides… nothing would happen if no one would learn. We’re not in Wonderland, Mingi.”

Mingi looked like he was considering but then he broke apart, turning away from you and running his hands through his hair, his body tense. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to kiss me.”

Mingi groaned loudly. “I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Because nothing about this would be professional, because I…” he paused and a spark of hope formed in your heart.

“Go on.”

“I can’t kiss you and go back to pretending to be only your guard.”

You sighed at how it came only as a whisper. You stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist, resting your head on his back. “The things I feel for you, Mingi… if you learned you’d run away from me.”

He sighed, looking down, his head blank. He put his hands over yours, attempting to break them but you weren’t having any of it. 

“Tell me you don’t feel something for me, and I’ll let you go.”

“I can’t lie.”

You sighed in relief. “Then kiss me.”

“I can’t.” He almost cried. “I can’t touch you if I can’t have you.”

“You already have me, my dear warrior,” you smiled. “I was only ever yours.”

Mingi pulled your hands away, walking away from you. “This is a bad idea. Think about the consequences for once.”

“Damn the consequences,” you seethed. “This is an order, Mingi. I want you to kiss me like you mean it-”

It took him only a second to turn and hold your face in his hands as his lips found yours, swallowing the groan of surprise that left you. He kissed you repeatedly until you kissed back and it was the most natural thing you’d ever experienced, the feel of his plump lips indescribable. Your legs were weak and you held in to the back of his neck, your kisses turning more heated and frantic until you both broke apart for breath.

You were smiling- you were the happiest you’d ever been. And Mingi… he looked the most content as he brushed his nose with yours, picking you effortlessly by the waist and placing you on the table so you met his height. He looked at you, unguarded for once and you saw everything you needed in his eyes. 

“Don’t ever give me an order like this again,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry,” you giggled. “I had to do something.”

He shook his head and you caressed his face lovingly, smiling at the feel of his soft ash hair that you drew back. His hands rested on your waist, sending sparks through you and you continued to look at him, memorising his face. You pecked his nose, making him grin, then you kissed the mole on his cheek, under his eye, that you adored. You joined your foreheads. “Let’s run away, Mingi. I can’t live if I can’t have you.”

“We’ll figure it out,” he promised, pecking your lips. “So… was that enough to learn how to kiss?”

You grinned at his teasing tone. “I don’t think so.”

Mingi scoffed before he kissed you again, this time softly, like a first kiss, experimentally moving his lips against yours and you followed his lead, moaning into the kiss repeatedly until he couldn’t take it anymore- especially when you wrapped your legs around him. The kisses picked pace and force as he pushed you back until your back curved and you fell flat on the table. His hands travelled along your curves and yours played with his hair. You managed to earn a few satisfying moans as well, and he finally broke apart.

“Shall we take this to bed?” You managed to say and he shook his head, amused.

“I won’t be able to stop if I take you to bed,” his voice was incredibly low and rough as he whispered in your ear, trailing kisses down your jaw. “This… is enough. For now.”

“One last,” you got up and met his lips, the two of you smiling into it and you broke apart, waving the burning card in your hand and he laughed in surprise.

“I never noticed. You’re good at this!”

“I learned from the best,” you blew the fire. “You’re… a great teacher.”

Mingi rolled his eyes, placing you down. “That’s enough playing. Go to bed. You have to get your beauty sleep. The Prince won’t be kissing you if you look like a puffer fish-”

“Hey!” You tried smacking him but he dodged, mockingly waving at you before going to his room, leaving you lovestruck as you sighed dreamily.

—---------------

Finding an idea to get to Dohyun’s chambers was fairly easy- you asked to see his childhood pictures, and he would only have that in his room.

You noticed the odd tapestry in his living room, which would surely be the entrance to the secret passage. As he picked an album, you picked every entry and exit spot. 

Getting him to kiss you was fairly easy as well, since you two had already been interrupted not long ago. You walked around his living room, commenting on every picture that hung on the wall, wondering if there were more which was when he guided you to his bedroom. 

Then all it took was a longer than usual glance for him to wrap his arms around your waist and lean forward for permission. 

Though he was a good kisser, you felt nothing. Your only focus was calmly snaking your arms around his waist and throwing the burning card in the direction of the candle, which toppled over and set fire to the carpet. You both pretended not to have heard that and you continued kissing him without breaking apart, letting the fire spread. You also were the first to break apart, a confused look on your face as you sniffed.

“Fire,” you whispered, and Dohyun turned around, looking in the direction of the fire and then under the table beside the window. You, pretending to worry, snatched the sheets off his bed.

“Quick- let’s put it out!” You shouted as you threw the sheets on the fire and stomped, and he pulled you back, doing the job himself and asking you to call the guards. You did and the fire was out before spreading too much, thankfully.

“The candle must have lost balance,” Dohyun sighed, caressing your hand. “Are you okay?”

“I am,” you sighed, “though I was quite startled. I could taste the fire in our kiss.”

“And you thought you set me on fire?” Dohyun laughed.

“You would have thought so too,” you pouted.

“Well,” Dohyun caressed your hand, looking at you lovingly. “You did set my heart on fire.”

“Oh, come on,” you slapped his chest playfully, “since when did we switch roles?”

He kissed your hand. “Thank you for acting quickly. I was quite flustered back then. It would have spread if it weren’t for you.”

You smiled and the guards came out of the room, having cleared it. You cleared your throat. “I should get going.”

“Let me walk you to your room.”

“You don’t have to,” you said but he insisted and you agreed. Dohyun promised to take you to the waterfall nearby soon.

“How soon?” You asked. 

“I have to travel West to meet some people,” he told you- you already knew that thanks to Mingi sneaking around. “I’ll be back the day after tomorrow. Let’s go after that.”

“It’s a date,” you said and he nodded, kissing your cheek as you reached your room. 

“Goodnight, Princess.”

You watched him leave, hoping this was the last time you ever saw him, because the only way he would be seeing you in the foreseeable future would be if you get caught. After he vanished, you entered your room, going straight into Mingi’s arms.

“It’s done,” you told him, sighing into the hug. “Let’s get the job done tomorrow night.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Mingi whispered, kissing your forehead. “You did well. You’ll make Wonderland proud.”

“I hope we both live to see that,” you said and he squeezed you. “Sleep with me tonight, Mingi.”

Your vulnerable tone told him that you were considering every possibility of the future, such as how this could be the last time Mingi and you were together. So Mingi nodded, waiting for you to change and call him, and then he lay down beside you, holding you while you rested your cheek on his chest. He caressed your hair which relaxed you indefinitely. You looked up at him, tracing the outlines of his face. “I have things to tell you, Mingi, before tomorrow comes. Because I know there’s a high chance that we could get separated, or worse.”

“Hope for the best, Princess,” he said. “I’ll never let you go. I’ll always be with you, you know that.”

You nodded. “I want to tell you that I love you. That I’ll fight for you when we get home. You’re no longer my guard, Mingi. You’re my partner. Anyone who dares try to hurt you would have to deal with me first.”

Mingi smiled, pulling you up and kissing you deeply at that. “I love you too. In more ways than I could imagine. I’ll always protect you, whether I’m your guard or not. And anyone who tries to hurt you will regret even thinking they had a chance.”

You laughed, pecking his cheek. “You’re quite a romantic.”

“Oh, you don’t know me yet, Princess,” he smirked, flipping you and getting on top of you, dragging his lips down the side of your face and trailing kisses down your neck and you couldn’t help but moan shamelessly. Perhaps it was the longing and desperation, mixed with the fear that this could be your last night together that made you both senseless in love, kissing each other frantically because there really could be no tomorrow, getting rid of your garments until you were skin on skin and having each other in every way possible, kissing each other on every inch of the body until it was dawn.

—-----------

“Bug!” You whispered and Mingi jumped, making you laugh silently, putting a hand over your mouth.

“We could get executed if we get caught,” Mingi whisper-shouted at you, “And you’re pranking me? While we’re on the way to steal documents from the Prince’s room? Seriously?”

“I’m sorry,” you grinned, “you know I get like this when I’m under pressure.”

Mingi shook his head, taking the torch from your hand and blowing it out when you reached the stairs. “We travel in the dark now. Hold my hand.”

You did and he guided you along, your steps as silent as a cat’s, following the wall until you two stood out in the assumed exit to the Prince’s room. “There could be guards in his living room. That’s where we are, right?”

“Guards are usually stationed outside when the Prince is not home,” he said, “but we have to be extra cautious.”

Mingi got the feel of the door- he was going to have to slide it but it would make a sound when he would first push it. He would have to wait- if the guards were inside, they’d figure out the source. If they were outside, they would dismiss it as wind.

Thankfully, no one came to kill you in the first few minutes after that sound and Mingi slid the door, asking you to wait. You waited anxiously for a minute before he came back for you. You led him to the room, sitting down near the table and feeling the wood, removing the block that sounded hollow and finding the box. It contained a few jewels, some pictures and-

“There it is,” your tone was bitter. “The proof we needed.”

A document ready to be made official, waiting only for a final signature. Document that stated that the area in the north that was once Wonderland’s, that the Utopians occupied, was now officially theirs. You sighed, regretting that you were right about all of this. It truly was a shame that it came down to this. 

“Let’s go,” Mingi rubbed your back and you nodded, placing the box back and leaving like a ghost, going to your room to grab your already packed bags and change into commoner clothing so you could pass undetected in the city. You tied your hair into a quick braid and wore your cloak over your head, taking out the hair-pin that Dohyun had gifted you. Mingi caught you staring at it.

“I could do this alone,” Mingi said and you looked at him. “I could get these documents to Wonderland. You could pretend you knew nothing.”

You placed the hair-pin on your bedside. “We’re in this together, through thick and thin. Let’s pray the Prince does not check his box first thing when he comes back and finds we’re missing.”

He nodded- you two were going to leave your guards and your belongings here, taking only the necessities. If you were lucky, the guards would be sent to search for you, and Mingi had already informed one of his trusted guards to get back to Wonderland the first chance they got. You prayed your guards would return home unscathed.

Taking Mingi’s hand, the two of you started your escape journey, going through the passage in utter darkness, depending only on Mingi’s senses until you could see the light coming from the exit. Mingi sighed as he peeked outside. “Guards right outside. We’ll have to wait till they move.”

“I hope they do,” you whispered, “because we don’t have all night.”

Waiting in silence, it took the guards around 20 minutes to move. Mingi squeezed your hand. “When I say run… you run like hell. And you remember what to do if we get separated?”

“Follow the wind,” you nodded. “You’ll find me.”

“And if I don’t?”

You gulped. “I will continue home.”

Mingi kissed your forehead. “Let’s go.”

He jumped down first, catching you when you jumped and you hid behind the bushes- you’d have to climb the wall. This was, perhaps, the riskiest part of it all. Mingi went first, making sure no one was on the other side as he threw a rope and you climbed-

All the air in your lungs left through a gasp when an arrow narrowly escaped you and hit the wall next to you. Mingi sent a dagger for one of the two men that came after you, getting rid of him instantly, and you took out your daggers and went into close combat, using the element of surprise when the guard hesitated after recognizing you and burying the dagger in his heart. Shaken, you looked at Mingi who extended his hand and you immediately climbed, jumping down after him and running towards the forest nearby.

The two of you stopped to catch your breath once you were inside the thick of the forest and you slumped down, staring at Mingi in utter disbelief of what you just did.

“I know,” Mingi wrapped his arms around you, “The first kill… it’s always the hardest. But you did it to save your home, your kingdom. Remember that you saved so many lives- let’s hope we get to see the end of it and none of that is in vain.”

“But…” you took a deep breath. “He must have a family. I wouldn’t have finished him if he hadn’t recognised me- it’s not okay.”

“You didn’t do that to protect only yourself,” Mingi squeezed your shoulders. “It’s going to get harder from here. You can still go back.”

You looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath and standing. Your eyes were steel. “Let’s move. For Wonderland.”

“For Wonderland,” Mingi got up and kissed your knuckles, “And for my Princess.”

—-------------------

It didn’t take long for the Prince to catch up to what had happened. 

The castle was in a frenzy after finding two guards killed right next to the castle wall. Perhaps wondering if there were robbers, or worse, assassins, the guards put the castle in a lockdown, searching for whoever dared trespass. All it took was the guards to make sure that their guest, the Princess, was safe to find out that she was missing.

Along with her guard.

But it looked like the Princess had been ‘taken’ since there was still half a cup of warm tea in the Princess’ room with a book open, and the guards didn’t think of any other possibility, wondering if Mingi had been killed and hidden somewhere or had gone to save his princess.

The Prince came back sooner than anticipated, worrying about your disappearance first, not suspecting anything for a good while and sending as many men as he could in search for you until one day later when he found out which document, exactly, was missing. 

It didn’t take him long after that to join the missing pieces of the story. That you, the Princess of Wonderland, had come to Utopia with an ulterior motive and had successfully fooled everyone in the castle. The search turned into a hunt then.

And you were regretting not having a faster route to get to Wonderland. You had almost been caught twice within two days and since you were on foot, it would take another two days to get to Wonderland, only if you were quick enough.

“I think you should have made me practise running more,” you breathed as Mingi led you through the trees after hearing the faint noise of horses in the distance. There weren’t many people who travelled through this part of the forest so he figured it must be the guards. “My legs are giving away.”

“Save your breath and don’t talk,” Mingi scoffed- he knew you were being partly dramatic but also partly truthful. “Let’s have a good night’s sleep tonight if we’re lucky.”

You scoffed back- luck was running shorter with every passing hour. As if to prove that point, a soldier on a horse blocked your way and Mingi sent a dagger before his bow could find any one of you. 

“Tell me we can take this horse.”

“It’s better to hide,” Mingi said to your dismay and you groaned before following him again. Hiding behind a tree for a moment, you two stocked up on your weapons, loading your bows. You looked at Mingi whose back rested against the tree trunk, his chest heaving up and down. 

You patted his arm. “Tired?”

“Of you? Definitely,” Mingi smirked and you gasped, slapping his chest. 

“I ought to leave you here,” you muttered.

“You won’t even make it to the border without me,” Mingi teased and you glared at him. 

“Well then, why don’t you go ahead yourself then? I’ll go back to the castle-” You were interrupted by Mingi pulling you towards him and pecking your cheek.

“I can’t make it anywhere without you as well, if that comforts you.”

You rolled your eyes, biting your lip as you looked away. “We better be getting a good night’s sleep tonight, Mingi.”

Mingi raised a brow at that, saluting and the two of you carried on running again, the setting sun providing you a sense of comfort. And when you started to hear the birds again, you knew that you’d successfully lost the ones who chased you. Settling down at the edge of the river, you washed the sweat off your face first before drinking gulps of water clumsily through your hands, and Mingi bent down next to you to rub your back before doing the same himself. You watched him with a faint smile and he raised his brow in question.

“Nothing,” you patted his back awkwardly. “We just make a good team.”

Mingi grinned at that, shaking his head. “You can wash up first. I’m going to make a quick scan and set the tent.”

After doing just that, the two of you sat in front of each other, staring at the pieces of wood you had collected, wondering if lighting the fire was a good idea right now. 

“I mean,” you muttered, “if we’re not going to cook… then a fire won’t be necessary, huh?”

“But it’s cold at night and I don’t want you to freeze to death,” Mingi sighed. “Can you imagine if that happened? History books would say, ‘Princess of Wonderland, smart enough to steal the documents from the Prince of Utopia but dumb enough to die of cold before reaching home-’”

“Oh, shut up,” you scoffed. “It’s not even that cold. And I’ll be using you as my body heater so I’ll be okay.”

“But I’ll be cold,” Mingi muttered and you realised this was about him. You chuckled lowly at that and he pouted. “I’ll just make do then.”

You shook your head, your hand unconsciously going to the breast pocket inside your cloak and Mingi noticed how you kept checking if the document was there every few minutes. “It’s not going to run away.”

“Won’t make me less anxious,” you told him. “I just… can’t believe we’re here right now. Like this. I never imagined, in my entire life, that I would have a price on my head and be in enemy territory as well.”

Mingi sighed. “I can understand that. This month has been the most unpredictable of my life as well. And not just because of this conflict.”

You smiled slowly at that. “I never imagined this too. I never thought I’d think of someone else, other than Dohyun, considering we were supposed to get married.”

“Do you regret it?” Mingi looked at you. You shook your head.

“Never. I have never felt so deeply in my life, Mingi. You’re the one for me. And when we get back… I will fight for you. I promise you that.”

“It’s dangerous,” Mingi shook his head and you could see how heartbroken he looked at the possibility that there was a chance everything about you two could go downhill from here. “You know Wonderland royalty is very sensitive about their status and class-”

“I’ve already broken so many rules, Mingi. I trained like a soldier when I was only supposed to sit and look pretty. I am charged with espionage as of now. I think after all this trouble, I can actually spend the rest of my life with someone I love, since I can’t marry Dohyun now, at least.”

Mingi laughed at that, hiding his face in his arms and your heart swelled at the sight. “What? You don’t want to be with me?”

“I’ve never wanted anything more,” Mingi said, not looking at you. “I just don’t want you to suffer because of me when we get back.”

“Well,” you got up and sat beside him, locking eyes with him. “What makes you think you don’t already make me suffer enough?”

“That’s my line,” Mingi was amused. “I should report you when we get back.”

“Oh?” You smirked, “What are you going to report me for? What crimes have I committed?”

“Theft,” Mingi said dramatically, “You stole my heart-”

“Oh, that’s the cheesiest thing I’ve heard in my life, Song Mingi,” you laughed out loud. “You really suck at flirting, you know that?”

“Do I?”

“I’ve been doing all the flirting in our long relationship, if you remember,” you winked at him and realisation flashed across Mingi’s eyes.

“So you intentionally said stuff like that, huh?”

Mingi was referring to the countless remarks you’d casually throw around at him during the past few years, that made him question if you were just bold or god forbid, flirting with him. He’d always dismiss it, because why would a Princess flirt with a guard and have actual intentions behind it?

“I don’t know if I’m lucky or very unlucky.”

You rested your head against his shoulder. “You’ll know when we get back home. Prepare to get promoted to a Prince soon, Mingi, because I’m having no one else now that I’ve had you.”

Mingi wondered how he, as a mere guard, had captured your heart. And he figured that even if you told him, he would still find it unbelievable. He’d always hold your face in his hands like he was now and stare into your eyes for the longest time as if all the answers he needed he could find there. And when your eyes would fall to his lips, he would always sigh and caress your face to make sure you were real before kissing you.

—-----------------

“Drop your weapons, soldier, or your Princess dies right here.”

Mingi’s heart sank to his knees but he kept aiming the arrow at the man who held a dagger at the neck of his beloved Princess. And a slight shake of your head told him not to do that, leaving him internally distraught as he tried to make a decision.

You had been so close to reaching the border, only a couple of miles away, when you heard the dreadful siren that some soldier, who had spotted you, blew. Mingi got rid of him instantly but it was too late by then, and to make matters worse, it was none other than Dohyun waiting for you at the border. 

Perhaps, he had allowed you to get here in the first place, some sort of a twisted sense of revenge to hold your life at the tip of his daggers while you could see the hills of your homeland. It was ironic but brilliant, really. You supposed he was justified to do so, considering you had stomped over his heart and all.

But you weren’t giving in so easily. It was only the two of you, but you fought. You loaded arrow after arrow, shooting everyone but the Prince- but perhaps you should have shot him first, despite the consequences, because now he was the one who was ready to take your life.

“Mingi,” you warned. “Don’t.”

But Mingi shook his head, wanting to drop the arrow so badly, not because of the amount of arrows aimed at him too, ready to shoot if he made one wrong move, but because he couldn’t bear to see you hurt. Not as a Princess. Not as his partner. 

“Think wisely,” Dohyun muttered in your ear and you hissed at how close he was. “You want your dear old guard to die first?” When you didn’t answer, he scoffed. “Thought so. Now give me the document.”

“Just tell me first,” you spat. “Was it all a lie? Was there really no chance for peace between our kingdoms, even after marriage?”

“You made it worse, just so you know,” Dohyun’s grip around your neck tightened. “I could have considered not taking any more land. But I’m not backing away now- not a chance. And you won’t have any proof to take back home when you’re dead.”

“Kill me then,” you scoffed. “And prepare for a war. You shed one drop of my blood here, and Wonderland will come for war- you know that.”

“We can always make it look like we’re the victim here, Princess,” he snickered and you realised that he could. “We could blame one of your guards. We could make it look like you were killed by your own people. I bet no one knows what you were really up to here, no? Nobody would suspect us, Princess. Now you-” Dohyun glared at Mingi. “Drop your weapon right now if you don’t want her to die this instant.”

Mingi kept aiming the arrow at the Prince’s head because he knew the two of you were doomed if he let his guard down now. The Prince wasn’t aware of your skills as a soldier yet, and since he thought he had the upper hand now, you two were at an advantage.

Especially because he had no idea you had met up with your remaining guards a day ago and asked them to keep trailing you, hidden, and wait for your signal if things went south. They were probably hidden in the trees with their weapons aimed right now. Dohyun had no idea you’d brought the deadliest assassins of your kingdom as your guards- to anyone else, they’d look and act like mere palace guards. 

Though there was still a chance that your guards had lost you and you two were on your own, you locked eyes with Mingi and a subtle nod from him told you that he would do whatever you asked him to. Your arms limp at your sides, you fiddled with your hands- which was really a signal to your guards if they were present to shoot as soon as they got the chance- the next signal you gave to Mingi, staring at where the scar on his neck was from the time he had saved you, hoping he’d get it.

And he did. And he could not bring himself to hurt you, but your hands trailed up to hold Dohyun’s arm that was holding you in place, pretending all of this was making you weak. Mingi exhaled, lowering his arrow from the Prince’s head and the scoff you heard from him made you scoff internally, because he was so going to regret this.

And Dohyun did- as soon as he saw Mingi stop lowering the arrow and aiming it at your neck, he had no time to react and Mingi shot the arrow, grazing your neck but making the arrow land in Dohyun’s chest and it all ended up in a frenzy with you flipping Dohyun on the ground and being the one to hold the dagger to his neck while your guards that were thankfully present shooting down everyone around Mingi, leaving only two who stood helpless at the sight of their Prince threatened.

“How does it feel on this side?” You asked Dohyun who was groaning in pain dramatically. “Oh, come on. You won’t die from this.”

“You’re going to regret this-”

“No, you are going to regret this, Prince,” you hissed back at him. “You’re going to regret taking advantage of our arrangement and even thinking you could use that to take over Wonderland. Wonderland is stronger than you can ever imagine, it would do you good to remember that.”

Mingi knocked the remaining guards unconscious and the two of you waited until your own guards came. The guards from the border arrived to see what the commotion was about, panicking when they saw their Prince threatened.

You made eye contact with each of the guards. “Your Prince will be delivered to you, unharmed any further, if you accompany us to the border. And don’t even think about trying anything- you can’t win now.”

With a nod from Dohyun, his guards decided to cooperate, and you insisted on being the one who held Dohyun all the way since his guards would think not twice but thrice before harming you as well. You borrowed their horses, promising to return them once you reached home, insisting you were not ‘used to taking what wasn’t yours’ and Dohyun grunted at that. Once your own guards stationed at the border spotted you, the exchange was done and you stepped inside your home ground, in front of a pale Dohyun.

“I’ll give you only one chance to set things right,” you warned Dohyun. “I can let everything go if you can stop any movement that threatens Wonderland. As you know,” you waved the document in your hand, “We have the upper hand now. If you dare make another wrong move, I’ll make this public. You know how quick the other kingdoms will be to ally with Wonderland when they learn how easily Utopia can violate peace treaties.”

“Alright,” he sighed. “You win. Give me a while before I send a message.”

“You have exactly one week,” you announced and then sighed. “I thought we could have parted on better terms, Dohyun. You brought this upon yourself. The relationship between our kingdoms can still be mended, but there is no chance for us now. And it will be better if you are the one to call our arrangement off.”

“You bet I will,” he scoffed. “Nice knowing you, Princess. I have to say it was quite an unpredictable adventure.”

You scoffed back. “Don’t take the arrow out until you have something to stop the bleeding.”

Dohyun smiled but looked confused when Mingi joined you and put an arm around you in the most casual way. You smiled knowingly and saluted Dohyun before turning away, Mingi helping you up on the horse and riding back. 

Mingi waited until Dohyun was out of sight before relaxing and you could feel his body relax since he was sitting behind you. You looked back at him, noticing him staring at the bleeding slash on your neck. “We match now.”

Mingi looked up and groaned, shaking his head. “I can’t believe this is the first thing you say to me after… all of that.”

“Come on,” you put your hands on his that held the reins. “We’re home now. We’re safe. Thank you for actually listening to me for once back there.”

“You have no idea how scared I was,” he admitted. “I’m still shaking- let’s take a breather at the first inn.”

You nodded and stopped at the first inn that arrived, thanking all of your guards sincerely first and promising to reward them as soon as you were back. After dinner at the very empty inn and a work with the innkeeper to stay quiet about this, you and Mingi went to the room to rest for the night.

“I have to say, the air really is different here,” you said as you dried your hair with a towel, standing in front of the half-open window. “Smells like home.”

Mingi, who had just entered after checking the perimeter with the guards and making sure they had good accommodations, nodded. “I’m less tense now, and I can’t believe how I was always on my toes in Utopia. It feels like I’m letting my guard down now.”

You laughed as you looked back outside. “I can relate to that. I was always on edge too.”

You felt Mingi walk to you and he took the towel, wrapping your hair in it while he waved a salve that he got from the innkeeper in front of you. “Let me.”

You nodded, and he applied it gently with his fingers, sighing again and again at the sight of the very angry red slash. It was definitely going to leave a scar. You rolled your eyes when you heard him sigh for the umpteenth time, turning and straightening his collar. “When are you going to stop feeling sorry? Because I made it clear that you acted upon my order.”

“It’s not because of that,” he shut the box and tossed it on the bed. “I just… when I think of how things could have gone so badly from there-”

“But they didn’t,” you rested your hands on his chest as you looked up at him. “And we’re here, you and I. Safe. So you can relax now.”

Mingi tucked your damp here behind your ear, tossing the towel away and letting your hair loose as well. He smiled before bringing you in for a hug and this time you sighed into it, realising that he was home. You would always feel at home and safe in his arms. You let him stay like that for a good few moments, let him kiss your forehead and then litter kisses all over your face as if he couldn’t believe you were here, with him.

“You’re tickling me,” you grinned when he trailed his lips down your temple. You felt him smile and he tilted your face to look at you, shaking his head and finally kissing you where you most wanted him, unrushed and lazy yet it was the first time your knees gave away and you desperately held onto him. He took you to bed, making you lay down and you let him kiss you until he got tired and buried his nose in the crook of your neck, dozing off instantly. You laughed to yourself, smacking his arm lightly and following him right after.

—-----------------

“That’s preposterous,” the King, your father, glared at you and you looked helplessly at your mother- the only person who could make your father see things differently. 

“I am aware that what I did was dangerous and wrong on many levels,” you met eyes with your father, “but it was necessary, you must understand that. All the better given I got us physical proof of their betrayal. That should also be a good enough reason to break off our arrangement.”

“It’s been more than a decade, and everyone is aware of the arrangement. You will be frowned upon if you break this off now. Especially if it’s him breaking it off right after your visit.”

“What do you expect her to do, darling?” Your mother sighed, putting a hand on her forehead. “She can’t exactly live in peace with him now.”

“Which is why I’m cross with her,” your father replied. “She should have sent someone else to do the stealing.”

“No one else would have succeeded,” you smiled inwardly, “and you know that.”

“Well,” your father groaned. “We’ll know in one week if you made the right decisions. I ought to ground you until then.”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s not like I even leave the palace or come out of my room often. If you wish to ground me, go ahead.”

Your mother smiled at that, urging you to take a seat. You had been standing all this time, ready to disappear if your father didn’t take the news well, but thankfully, it looked like he was okay for now. 

Except he was still glaring at you. “You look like you have something else to tell me.”

“I do, actually,” you met eyes with your parents. “But this is not the right time. So, tell me, how have things been while I was away?”

You spent the next few days mostly in the library, going through the history of Wonderland, searching for examples where a king, queen, prince or princess married someone who was not of their status. You found none, figuring that even if someone had (someone must have in the centuries of Wonderland’s existence) it would never be recorded in the books. It would be considered a ‘tarnish’ to the seemingly perfect history.

But was there a law that said you and Mingi could not be together?

So you spent the rest of the week going through the laws too. You asked around as casually as you could, you went through books, exerting yourself until you collapsed in the library and your maids had to carry you back. 

And that finally got Mingi, who had been avoiding you, to come visit you.

You smiled when you felt his hand snake through yours, recognizing him by his calloused and hard hands without opening your eyes. “I think I should do that more often. At least it got you to come see me.”

Mingi sighed. “You know how risky it is here. I have no reason to guard you here all the time so my presence would only make everyone suspicious. I’m risking so much being here with you like this too.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” you pouted and he pinched your cheek as he smiled. “But you haven’t even come to see me formally.”

“Everytime I look at you,” he nearly whispered, “I want nothing more than to hold you. I have to hold myself back for your sake.”

You were lost in the emotion in his eyes for a few moments before you pulled him, making him sit on the bed next to you and wrap his arms around you. He held you with a sigh, kissing the top of your head. You buried your nose in the crook of his neck, your arms around his neck as well. 

“If anyone comes without knocking, we’re dead.”

“No one would dare come without knocking,” you told him, kissing the scar on his neck, making his hold on you get tighter. “I missed you so much.”

Mingi swept your hair back, holding your face in his hands, staring at it for the longest time as if he was mesmerised. You licked your lips and it was his undoing as he basically crashed his lips on yours, kissing you desperately, with a pressure that had you craning back and back until you were lying flat on your bed. Your hands ran all over his toned chest, wanting to take off his clothes but the sane part in you told you that you were already risking too much. And perhaps, Mingi felt the same, opting to only push his hand under your clothes to hold you at your waist. Lack of breath made you break apart, only for him to trail his lips down your scar. 

“I’ve been asking around too, you know,” he said as he kissed your neck again. “I think you should talk to your mother first.”

“Really?” You frowned. “What did you hear?”

“I can’t say it out loud. If it’s false information, some people really need to answer why they’ve been spreading such stories. But if it’s true… I think she won’t be surprised.”

You understood what he meant, confused still because as far as you knew, your mother married your father at a young age, had your elder sister who was already married off and a queen of another kingdom, and had you. She’d always lived a recluse life. But could she be the one who would relate to you?

You got Mingi’s attention by tugging at his arm and the two of you sat in front of each other. “I’ve gone through the history- there’s nothing there. There’s nothing about a princess not marrying someone of royal blood in the law too. So what’s really stopping us?”

“I care about your reputation and how people will judge you if you become mine,” Mingi played with the hair that fell on your shoulder. “I care only about how people will speak of you.”

“And I care about none of that. Rather,” you smiled, “we could be the first ones to set an example. That the royals can, after all, marry for love, whoever that is.”

Mingi smiled at the notion. “I’m also worried about what comes next. By marrying you…”

“You’ll be Prince, and in future, the King,” you looked at him proudly, kissing him deeply before continuing. “There’s no one who could do a better job, and no one who deserves this more than you.”

Mingi kissed your forehead. “Let’s hope someone else believes that too.”

“But…” you bit your lips as you considered the other possibility. “If you don’t want to rule alongside me…”

“I won’t ask you to step down, because you are Wonderland’s only hope,” Mingi caressed your face. “Your sister should have been the one, but she believed she couldn’t bear the burden. But I know you can. And if I can share even some of it with you, if you can love me forever… I’ll be the happiest, even though I never imagined to be anything but a guard in my wildest dreams.”

You wiped your teary eyes, laughing along with him as your heart swelled at his words. “I do not deserve someone as good as you, Song Mingi.”

“I do not deserve someone as annoying as you, Princess, but here we are,” he sighed dramatically and you slapped his arm, gasping. 

“Well, you better be prepared to put up with it for the rest of your life,” you scoffed and he crossed his heart. 

—------------------

You never expected your mother to tell you a tragic tale of a forbidden love gone wrong when you told her that you had a man in your heart that wasn’t Dohyun.

She told you about the time after she had you, when you were 5, when her parents who were from Mist Island were sick with a life-threatening disease and she had gone to be with them in their perhaps last moments- her father survived but her mother passed away.

She told you about the young, handsome doctor who took care of your parents. She spoke with such love in her eyes that you were brought to tears. After speaking about it out loud for the first time, she was reliving through the memories.

“It was never my intention to be unfaithful to your father, who had done nothing but shower me with love and everything that I wanted. But perhaps, falling in love out of your own accord was something I hadn’t experienced with your father which led to the events in my parent’s home. We never went far- we were just friends. We would sit on the balcony and talk all night long. You know how much I was interested in medical sciences- he educated me, in a way. And somehow… I forgot that I was married and a mother of two when I was with him.”

“But…” you sniffed. “It’s not wrong to fall in love.”

“It wasn’t right either,” your mother sighed, brushing her dark long hair back, “I should have known that as a queen, there were eyes that followed me everywhere. I made the first move. I held his hand first. I hugged him first. I never got to kiss him.”

You were too scared to ask why and your mother nodded, confirming your suspicions. “My father found out. He warned me, but I took it lightly. So when he caught us sitting next to each other, he decided to send me back to Wonderland, even though it had only been days after my mother’s passing. As for the doctor… I believe he had someone take care of him- that’s what I was informed of, at least. I mourned two deaths when I came back, though the world only knows of one.”

You sat in a trance as the gravity of the situation settled in. Your grandfather had definitely reacted rashly. It wasn’t fair to the man whose only sin was to love your mother, and it wasn’t fair to your mother as well. Your mother put a hand over yours, though you wished you would have been the one to do that, in hopes to provide a sense of comfort to her. 

“It’s our secret,” she winked at you. “You’re the first soul I told. So will you trust your mother and confide in me? Perhaps I can help you make better decisions.”

So you told her everything, and she listened with a smile. You told her how you had feelings for Mingi from way back, but you never acted upon them- perhaps fearing they might not be reciprocated. You told her how you went to Utopia, intending to find out if Dohyun really was the man for you. 

“Perhaps I would have married him, if it weren’t for the political issue,” you smiled. “I would have dismissed my feelings for Mingi. But… deep down, I always knew I could never be truly satisfied with Dohyun, or anyone else for that matter. And Mingi… he’s always been so good to me. His heart is made of steel, and his feelings for me were buried there. I had to struggle so much to get him to look at me. And when he did… the intensity of it blew me away. I don’t think I can love anyone else, mother.”

“I understand,” she patted your cheek. “Dohyun has sent a message about your engagement. He called it off, like you told us he would. Your father is busy considering other suitors at the moment.”

“Do you think he’ll ever accept this? I’ve looked through history, through the law, there’s nothing that says we can’t be together except for stupid tradition and customs-”

“They are there for a reason,” your mother raised a brow, “but perhaps, we really do need to break some. They can be quite suffocating.”

You nodded. Your mother told you to lay low for a while and that she would slowly plant the seed in your father’s brain, see how he reacts and then proceed with you.

After a few weeks, you stood in front of your father who was partly angry but more surprised. You told him that if he wished that Wonderland be ruled by his blood, he better accept your proposal. Your parents burst out laughing at your bravery at that, but it took only a second for your father to be angry again. 

“Imagine if Dohyun never called off the engagement. Do you know how much you’ve risked Wonderland?”

“I saved Wonderland. Mingi saved Wonderland even when no one asked him to. What guard would have done that for me? It was love that made him risk everything with me, father.”

Your father scoffed, glaring at you. “Go to your room. Mingi is no longer your guard. I’ll have a little chat with him and see what should be done.”

“Father,” you sat down on your knees in front of him. “I beg you, do not harm him in any way. He saved me numerous times. It’s the least you can do for me, even if you won’t allow it- do not harm him.”

He considered for a moment before he grunted ‘fine’ and you scurried off to your room with a look at your mother who gave you a nod, indicating that she could handle it.

And perhaps she did, perhaps it was your father who had a change of heart (quite unexpected since you thought he’d throw you both in the dungeons) or perhaps it was Mingi himself who won his heart.

Mingi never told you what happened that night. He just told you that he’d always be indebted to your mother for helping him out and to your father for accepting him as his son-in-law.

The castle was in an uproar when they heard of your engagement, soon to be wedded to Mingi. The guards never expected that someone like Mingi won the Princess’ heart (to be fair, they only ever saw the stern side of Mingi). The maids wondered just how long this had gone on, finding it quite scandalous. But you?

You couldn’t be happier. 

As you slept with Mingi, your husband, you couldn’t be more loved and happier.

“Maybe you should stop staring at me and sleep. We’ve had enough of love making tonight.”

You slapped his chest. “I’m only thinking.”

“What?” He opened one eye, his thumb absently caressing the skin on your hips.

“How lucky I am to be here,” you kissed his cheek, lingering for a while.

“You’re making me want to go for a third round. I’m tired.”

“I thought you had more strength in you, considering you were a guard, but I guess you were wrong- ah!”

A surprised yelp left you as Mingi flipped you over and whispered things in your ears that made you go red and laugh as you tried pushing him off, but it looked like he did have the strength for a third round afterall.