The Queer Community Is Its Own Worst Enemy.

The queer community is it’s own worst enemy.   

It’s gay men and lesbians against bisexual people, who “just need to choose.” Angry spitfires who say asexual people aren’t really part of the community, aren’t really human. Cisgendered queers who degrade and dehumanize trans and non binary people.   

We put each other in boxes. We tell one another that there’s something false about that person’s LGBTQ+ identity. We say “you don’t belong, you have to fit into this cookie cutter. You can’t be that one, or none at all.” There’s always something wrong with you, but if you were to be something else, then you’ll be part of the community. We’ll finally get equal rights, if only you change. 

Get married, adopt kids. Don’t be poor, don’t be disabled, don’t be a person of color. You can be queer, but not too much, because then they won’t help us. You’ll scare them away. You can come under the umbrella, but if you’re this-or-that, we’ll push you out into the rain. 

This is what assimilation does to people. It pits them against each other, because everyone is holding themselves to a standard of a people that is not their own. And it isn’t just the LGBTQ+ community that does it. 

 ~ “You’re dark skinned - you’re not as good, not as clean, as people with light skin.”   ~ “You’re light skinned - you’re not black enough. Who do you think you are?” 

 ~ “You speak Spanish, so you’re living in the past; you aren’t ‘American’ enough.”  ~ “You don’t speak Spanish, so you aren’t in touch with you’re Latinx roots.” 

And round and round in circles. No one is safe, no one is free. There are too many eyes, too many boxes, and so an identity is scattered like loose change. A people forgets that they are all the same blood, in an effort to dilute it. This is what assimilation does to a people. Society hurts the community, which hurts the individual. All people, vs. your people, vs. you. 

To be queer is to be gifted with an eye-opening experience that never truly ends. It’s a life-long journey of discovery, about who you are and how you want to express that. It’s a description, not a definition. The LGBTQ+ community is vibrant, diverse, and all-encompassing. To be a part of it is to belong, to learn, and to gain friendship. It spans the globe, it brings out the best in people. Your never really stop seeing it’s beauty.   

But it’s made to be something else. It’s told it must be a set of easily identified categories. Queer people are told that they must fit one of these categories, and stick to it. Their identity must be a tight package to fit into. It must be easily understood and easily explained, because God forbid we confuse anyone! And so the queer individual suffers. 

And when the person suffers, so does the community.

Between 1650 and 1900, the global population went up by a billion. Between 1900 and 1950, that number went up another billion. And from 2010 up to today, yet another billion. As many people were born in fifty years as they were in 400. Today, as many people have been born in nine years as in fifty. 

The more people there are in an area, the more resources are needed to sustain them. In one town, there must be enough water, food, and other energy sources to allow everyone to live comfortably. If there are not enough resources for everyone in that town, the town cannot sustain all its inhabitants. This has consequences for the environment. To try and meet everyone’s needs, the town will take more and more from the land - more water from the rivers, more timber from the forest, more animals and plants for food. If these resources are taken at a faster rate than they can be replenished, the environment suffers. This happening world-wide. The higher the global population, the harder it is to sustain life on earth. Habitat destruction and deforestation are occurring at higher and higher rates to make room for farms, roads, and houses. Encroachment on an ecosystem harms the plants and animals that call it home. And the waste expelled by these actions pollute rivers and the atmosphere.

We must fulfill the three laws of sustainability. Say them with me now: reduce, reuse, recycle.

You’ve probably wondered what the title of this blog means. I probably should’ve gotten around to explaining it to you a while ago.   

“Avere grill per la testa” literally translates to “to have a head full of crickets” in Italian. 

Sometime in the late spring of 2017, I was in a gift shop somewhere. I found a small, rectangular book called “The Illustrated Book of Sayings: Curious Expressions from around the World.” It was published by Ella Frances Sanders, in 2016. I really wanted this book, because it was around this time I was developing a passion for linguistics, words, and the all-around coolness of language. Either way, the book was charming, and I borrowed some money from my dad. 

“Avere grilli per la testa.” To have a head full of crickets. 

What struck me about this phrase, when I stumbled upon its entry, was it’s compelling word choice. Apparently, whoever came up with it didn’t think it was enough to say that someone is dreamy, or has a short attention span. Nope - there are jumpy insects inside their head, and that’s what makes them so imaginative. Welcome to Italy, m-effers.   

This describes me perfectly: dreamy, distracted, creative, semi-ADD. I’m prone to flights of fancy, so much that I struggle to cool down or get myself organized. There’s a whole lot of fluff and bulls*t in my head (f you’ll pardon my French); my thoughts jump all over the place. Maybe that explains the boxes of filled notebooks in my closet. Good traits, since I strive to be a good writer; bad traits, since I have a mother.   

In another way, it captures the content on this blog - my endless thoughts, opinions, and ideas, all thrown together in one place. My varied interests and passions, channeled into the mini-essays you see here. There are many things I’d like to talk and write about, to organize in a constructive way. After all, if there’s that much going on up here, why not share it with all of you?   

Also, it’s linguistic trivia. I love me some linguistic trivia.

Who should worry most about climate change? 

a) Poor people. They’re the most vulnerable to the harmful effects of climate change, including natural disasters and disease. Some people benefit from practices that exacerbate climate change - if those people were at risk, they’d be actively fighting those practices. My teacher drew a diagram on the board; poor people live in one area and rich people live in the other. If the rich people want to build a big yucky factory, they’ll build it where the poor people live, because they don’t have any money for lawyers. This is the way it’s been all over the world. 

b) People who live by the sea. Rising sea levels, flooding, and storms won’t treat those places will. A lot of property will be damaged, people displaced, and coastal cities could be underwater before the century is out. Boston is my home. I don’t want my people or my family to be uprooted by water. I don’t want the history, art, and architecture of my city to go underwater - it’s too beautiful for that.

Okay non-European tumblr, I’m gonna explain to you why ‘white’ isn’t as simple here as it is in the rest of the world

- Shades of white in Europe range from ‘freshly fallen snow’ to ‘I am frequently mistaken as being from the Middle East’

- White European is a thing. When you fill out a form, under ethnicity, there are several options for white; white British, white European, white other. Because people make that distinction

- There are Europeans who don’t class their ethnicity as their skin colour, but as their nationality. I have family who don’t think of themselves as white, they just think of themselves as Italian and don’t really give much thought to their skin colour

- People here in Britain always question if darker skinned white Europeans are ‘actually white’. I get it a lot myself. My response is always ‘well I’m not anything else, so obviously I must be’

- Despite being white, a lot of Europeans from Italy, Greece, Spain etc, don’t feel white in the traditional sense. We’re not white like white British people. We’re not white like white Americans. We’re our own white. White British is one thing. White Italian is another thing. White Greek is another, etc

- Which is why we have this notion here in Europe of ‘nationality over race’. Being white isn’t as important as where you’re from

- So this really only becomes an issue if you’re an immigrant

- So being white in Europe doesn’t save you from racial discrimination, because sure, you’re technically white, but you’re not white white. Not the right white

- Here in England, Europeans with really blatantly foreign names, such as myself, find it more difficult to get job interviews, because they take one look at our name and don’t bother reading the rest of the CV. A guy I know was actually told by his boss to reduce the pile of CVs he had by ‘chucking away any with a name you can’t fucking pronounce’

- And then even when you do get an interview, half the time you walk into the joint several shades darker than everyone else and feel like you’ve walked into the ‘Swedish supermodel’ clubhouse and you just know you’re not getting hired

This is all basic stuff and it’s very much taken for granted here. Race and ethnicity are not as clear cut, so it can be very confusing for non-Europeans to wrap their heads around. Which is fine. But I implore you to stay in your lane, because when you say things like ‘no white person anywhere in the world ever knows what it’s like to face racial discrimination’, it’s really fucking offensive to all of the European immigrants who are denied jobs, harassed by the police and beaten by racists, because foreign is foreign to these people, and they don’t give a shit if you’re technically white. So when you mean white American, say white American. 

the moon is a lesbian and she hates terfs