The Queer Community Is Its Own Worst Enemy.

The queer community is it’s own worst enemy.   

It’s gay men and lesbians against bisexual people, who “just need to choose.” Angry spitfires who say asexual people aren’t really part of the community, aren’t really human. Cisgendered queers who degrade and dehumanize trans and non binary people.   

We put each other in boxes. We tell one another that there’s something false about that person’s LGBTQ+ identity. We say “you don’t belong, you have to fit into this cookie cutter. You can’t be that one, or none at all.” There’s always something wrong with you, but if you were to be something else, then you’ll be part of the community. We’ll finally get equal rights, if only you change. 

Get married, adopt kids. Don’t be poor, don’t be disabled, don’t be a person of color. You can be queer, but not too much, because then they won’t help us. You’ll scare them away. You can come under the umbrella, but if you’re this-or-that, we’ll push you out into the rain. 

This is what assimilation does to people. It pits them against each other, because everyone is holding themselves to a standard of a people that is not their own. And it isn’t just the LGBTQ+ community that does it. 

 ~ “You’re dark skinned - you’re not as good, not as clean, as people with light skin.”   ~ “You’re light skinned - you’re not black enough. Who do you think you are?” 

 ~ “You speak Spanish, so you’re living in the past; you aren’t ‘American’ enough.”  ~ “You don’t speak Spanish, so you aren’t in touch with you’re Latinx roots.” 

And round and round in circles. No one is safe, no one is free. There are too many eyes, too many boxes, and so an identity is scattered like loose change. A people forgets that they are all the same blood, in an effort to dilute it. This is what assimilation does to a people. Society hurts the community, which hurts the individual. All people, vs. your people, vs. you. 

To be queer is to be gifted with an eye-opening experience that never truly ends. It’s a life-long journey of discovery, about who you are and how you want to express that. It’s a description, not a definition. The LGBTQ+ community is vibrant, diverse, and all-encompassing. To be a part of it is to belong, to learn, and to gain friendship. It spans the globe, it brings out the best in people. Your never really stop seeing it’s beauty.   

But it’s made to be something else. It’s told it must be a set of easily identified categories. Queer people are told that they must fit one of these categories, and stick to it. Their identity must be a tight package to fit into. It must be easily understood and easily explained, because God forbid we confuse anyone! And so the queer individual suffers. 

And when the person suffers, so does the community.

OK. It’s time to get this done.

Hi everyone. It’s been a while. 

I started this blog in September of 2017. I stopped posting in March 2018. Now i’m back, after 9-odd months of figuring stuff out. 

I guess I needed to get myself together, to eliminate some pressure from my life. I’ll say it, last spring was a really rough time for me, and I just couldn’t keep this blog up anymore. I took the summer to recollect myself, and the autumn to enjoy my new life. And it is pretty new - new school, new friends, new schedule. I’m glad to say I’m doing much, much better. 

And during this time, I didn’t think much about this blog and its purpose at all. I was still writing all the time. I was still thinking about the same things I’ve written about here. But last year, the pressure was getting to me - to be clear, pressure I was putting on myself. I wanted to put my all into this blog - and I genuinely enjoyed doing so - but I guess it just became too much.   

This is a long post. It’s written by someone you don’t know and have never met, so you probably won’t spend 10 minutes of your time reading it. I don’t really mind. But I’m writing this for three reasons: to explain myself, to advise you, and to make a super rough draft of a mission statement for this blog. That sounds a little dramatic. But I think it fits the goal here, actually: To explain, to advise, and make some super rough drafts of crap.

If you are reading this, you’re probably one of my much beloved followers. Thank you so much for all your support and (dare I say it) interest. I didn’t forget about you these past nine months, but I also learned not to forget about myself. It takes guts to put yourself out there on the Scary InternetTM, and I’ve learned that if I wanna do it right, I’ve gotta be thinking about my own well-being. I only have to do this if I want to, not for the sake of strangers. No shade - it’s just me being honest. 

And I guess that’s where the advice come in: if you want to put yourself and your work out there, whether that’s here or anywhere else, it shouldn’t be just for others. It has to be for you, too.   

And now for the mission statement part, or a very rough draft of it: the purpose of this blog is to share with you my opinions, ideas, values, and writing. That’s why I do it for me. What I do for you (hopefully) is inform and teach, about issues I care about and that I hope you care about too. Social justice, environmentalism, history, sociocultural issues; sometimes just poems or stories. 

Someone, upon hearing about my blog, told me I was a social critic. I prefer the term ’social observer’. I think that, in a way, that is my responsibility as a writer. It’s also my responsibility as an activist. Your craft, gift, passion, whatever you want to call it should be shared. It deserves to be shared. So have at it. 

There will be more posts coming up in the next few weeks. But for now, thank you, everybody. Happy (almost) New Year!

The 49th Earth Day is today! This year’s theme is Protect Our Species, so here’s an essay about 3 of the most endangered species in the world.

#1: Pangolins These little guys are the best. They eat insects with tongues longer than their bodies, and roll up into little scaly balls when afraid. In Malay, the word ‘penggulung’ fittingly means ‘one that rolls up’. There are 8 different species of pangolin; four are native to east Asia, and four to Africa. Every species is labeled either ‘vulnerable’ or ‘endangered’. In Africa, pangolin scales are used to attract potential lovers, and as medicine in China and other parts of Asia. The meat is considered a delicacy. These beliefs have created a vast illicit trade network of pangolin parts; the creatures themselves are being captured, killed, and cooked almost to extinction. Mother pangolins wrap themselves around their babies to protect them. But greater steps must be taken to save these mammals.

#2: Coral Reefs Not gonna lie: for the longest time, I thought coral reefs were big rocks at the bottom of the ocean, with maybe a few plants here and there. Turns out, corals, ancient organisms that are related to sea anemones, are a vital part of our oceans. An individual coral is called a pylop. A pylop will grow a calcium-based exoskeleton; when a colony of thousands of pylops do this together, it forms a coral reef. Coral reefs exist all over the world, and are home to thousands of underwater species. Fish, algae, plants and invertebrates all feed and shelter on reefs. They protect coastlines and contribute billions to ecotourism and fishing industries. But these homes are dying out. As the earth warms, so do the oceans. Changes in temperature and pH levels kill pylop by the thousands, leaving entire ecosystems bleached and dead. This leaves millions of other organisms homeless and with little food. Without coral reefs, the oceans would never be the same. And since 75% of the earth is covered in water, I think we should be worried about that.

#3: Bees Can’t really emphasize this enough guys: we need bees to live. These insects live all over the world in diverse climates, from African deserts to the Arctic Circle, but their hives and habitats are under attack. Bees pollinate plants, which helps them grow. Pollinated plants go on to produce food, medicine, and other natural wonders we use everyday. And we’re not the only ones; birds, bears, and dozens of other species rely on the bees’ work. Our use of pesticides make bees and other creatures sick. Invading bees’ habitats  leave less space for hives and less plants for them to pollinate. Climate change is, as always, a threat. Without bees, there would be no us. Let’s freaking save the bees y’all.

What you can do:

Reach out to organizations working to protect these species. Donate, volunteer, or simply read up!

Make sure to buy produce that wasn’t grown with pesticides.

Plant some flowers… Adopt a hive…

Reduce your carbon footprint: save the ozone and the reefs!

Always practice the rules of sustainably: reduce, reuse, recycle.

Thanks for reading, everybody. Happy Earth Day!

You’ve probably wondered what the title of this blog means. I probably should’ve gotten around to explaining it to you a while ago.   

“Avere grill per la testa” literally translates to “to have a head full of crickets” in Italian. 

Sometime in the late spring of 2017, I was in a gift shop somewhere. I found a small, rectangular book called “The Illustrated Book of Sayings: Curious Expressions from around the World.” It was published by Ella Frances Sanders, in 2016. I really wanted this book, because it was around this time I was developing a passion for linguistics, words, and the all-around coolness of language. Either way, the book was charming, and I borrowed some money from my dad. 

“Avere grilli per la testa.” To have a head full of crickets. 

What struck me about this phrase, when I stumbled upon its entry, was it’s compelling word choice. Apparently, whoever came up with it didn’t think it was enough to say that someone is dreamy, or has a short attention span. Nope - there are jumpy insects inside their head, and that’s what makes them so imaginative. Welcome to Italy, m-effers.   

This describes me perfectly: dreamy, distracted, creative, semi-ADD. I’m prone to flights of fancy, so much that I struggle to cool down or get myself organized. There’s a whole lot of fluff and bulls*t in my head (f you’ll pardon my French); my thoughts jump all over the place. Maybe that explains the boxes of filled notebooks in my closet. Good traits, since I strive to be a good writer; bad traits, since I have a mother.   

In another way, it captures the content on this blog - my endless thoughts, opinions, and ideas, all thrown together in one place. My varied interests and passions, channeled into the mini-essays you see here. There are many things I’d like to talk and write about, to organize in a constructive way. After all, if there’s that much going on up here, why not share it with all of you?   

Also, it’s linguistic trivia. I love me some linguistic trivia.

Thank you!

Thank you so much for 200 followers! I’m so grateful for the support; it’s really encouraging to se that so many people are interested in my writing, in my thoughts and musings and ideas. This means so much - thank you.

Keep shining, beauties. Have a lovely day. :)

I often forget that there ARE ace/aro celebs out there - that’s how isolated I feel most of the time. We stan Moses Sumney for calling out capitalism as making money on amatonormativity.

Being this way is rlly hard but this post is a blessing. Shout out to all my ace and/or aro peeps living their best lives. That’s the best and most original form of resistance

Since it’s aro awareness week and black history month this seems like a fitting time to shout out and express my appreciation to the black aros making history. 

Moses Sumney

Moses Sumney is perhaps the most public and well known aro person out there. He create a whole album (yes! a whole album) titled Aromanticism that was released in 2017. Not only is the album stunningly gorgeous it features very aro lines such as “Am I vital/ If my heart is idle/ Am I doomed?“ and “If lovelessness is godlessness/ Will you cast me to the wayside?”

He has a deeply anti-opression and anti-capitalist perspective that informs and is informed by his aromanticism. 

“I think that romance is very obviously a political tool, and a capitalist device. I’ve even thought recently, it’s quite good for the economy: the amount people spend on weddings and gifts. Also, [romance] just can’t be separated from a patriarchal structure — like the idea that in a homosexual couple, one person is the masculine, and the other is the feminine. Ultimately we keep going back to those two figures on the wedding cake as the archetype, even for alternative relationships.“ (https://www.thefader.com/2017/09/04/moses-sumney-aromanticism-interview)

Michaela Coel

Michaela Coel is a writer, actor, poet and director. She wrote and stars in Chewing Gum, acted in an episode of Black Mirror and plays the lead character in Black Earth Rising. 

She came out as aro on twitter in 2017. She hasn’t talked about it much since then but it looks like she learned about aromanticism through Moses Sumney. 

Here’s a quote of her talking about seeing his concert. 

“He’s a beautiful artist and I’ve read some interviews of his about romanticism and capitalism, and it was really refreshing to see views that I share but are also very taboo. Just about what exactly is romance, aside from lust and love, what is this other thing and do I really have that? It’s nice that there’s this guy out there who makes those albums.“(https://www.wmagazine.com/story/michaela-coel-black-mirror-season-4-star-trek-space-episode-netflix)

There’s not much aro history out there, but these black aros are paving a path for the future.