Fight Homophobia - Tumblr Posts

October 11 is National Coming Out Day! Happy day to all those in or out of the closet - you are valid no matter what. I’m grateful we have a day to recognize these milestones, both in our lives and as members of the LGBT+ community.

 (P.S. I know I’ve posted like three times in less than a week, but allow me to lower your expectations to once a week updates. For my sanity, il mio amore)

Bayard Rustin was an American civil and gay rights activist, a leader in the social movements of socialism and nonviolence, and the founder of organizations such as the Congress of Racial Equality and the March on Washington Movement. He was an openly gay black man, Martin Luther King Jr.’s right hand man, a pioneer for equality even before the Civil Right’s movement - and he has been erased from history.

Bayard was born in Pensilvania in 1912. He was raised by his grandparents, only later learning that his older “sister” was actually his mother, having gotten pregnant at 16. In the 1930s, he studied at two historically black colleges, and briefly joined the Young Communist League. During World War II, he fought for racial equality in war-related hiring, and was sentenced to two years in jail for refusing to register for the draft. In the ‘50s and ‘60s, he played a huge role in the Civil Rights movement, the organization of the March on Washington, and advising MLK. He died of a ruptured appendix in 1987. 

Bayard was arrested over 20 times in his life for both his work in activism, and for being openly homosexual. Throughout his career, he faced backlash from allies and enemies alike for being open about his sexual orientation. He is an inspiration to us all for his work as an activist, organizer, and leader, never apologizing for being who he was.  In 2013, President Barack Obama granted him the Presidential Medal of Honor for his groundbreaking work - Bayard’s lifelong partner, Walter Neagle, accepted the award on his behalf.   

Dear Allies, 

Thank you for helping others. Thank you for supporting the people with less than you. Thank you for supporting gays as a straight person. Thank you for fighting racism as a white person. Thank you for being a feminist when you’re a dude. Thank you for caring about deprived communities when there’s no one else to help. Thank you for caring, and acting on that compassion, when you could easily turn your back. Thank you for helping when you know the risks the haters pose. Thank you for knowing you have to do something when no one is telling you there’s a fight you must join. Thank you for reading and listening and helping our fight for a better world.

Don’t listen to people who tell you that you don’t have a place, that you’re ignorant or appropriating. You are learning and you are trying and that goes farther than you think. You are helping those who have been shut down because their own efforts sometimes aren’t enough. You are aware of where you’ve been placed in society, and you are aware of the position of others - not everyone has all the rights you may have.  You are everywhere, and it’s your job to use your voices for good. Make our world a safe space. Thank you for loving - it does not go unnoticed.

What I want in 2019 - a prevention plan for climate change. preferably involving lots of solar panels and immigrant employees. - an end to world hunger. preferably involving sustainable agriculture and lots of international aid. - for everyone to have access to clean water. See my ‘World Water Day’ post for details. 

And hey, @ my classmates - stop using ‘gay’ as an insult. It ain’t cute. 

ooh, y’know what would be even better!? Let’s have everyone stop saying “he or she” or “his or hers” to refer to someone who’s gender we don’t know. Doesn’t matter the context - its unnecessary and cis-normative and hard on the tongue. If you wanna be fancy and impress your friends, try saying “guys, gals, and non-binary pals,” (as coined by Thomas Sanders). Or just use “they”. “They” is fine, guys. 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Women belong to every minority; raise women up, and you raise up those minorities.

Today is the 3rd annual Women’s March, an international movement advocating for gender equality and human rights. The quote above is what my poster said at the first one two years ago. 

And it’s true: women are members of every community on the planet (unless you count fraternities, which I don’t). Religious, ethnic, racial, sexual -  you name it, women are a part of it. Unfortunately, lots of these groups often face discrimination and prejudice in any number of ways, for any number of reasons. Anywhere in the world, someone is always getting crap for being who they are. And regardless of their cultural identity, women often have it much worse.   

So let’s stop the hate against hijabis. Let’s stop underestimating women of color. Let’s stop the neglect of transgender woman, and the objectification of girls who like girls. 

Raise up the women, and you raise up the world. 

The queer community is it’s own worst enemy.   

It’s gay men and lesbians against bisexual people, who “just need to choose.” Angry spitfires who say asexual people aren’t really part of the community, aren’t really human. Cisgendered queers who degrade and dehumanize trans and non binary people.   

We put each other in boxes. We tell one another that there’s something false about that person’s LGBTQ+ identity. We say “you don’t belong, you have to fit into this cookie cutter. You can’t be that one, or none at all.” There’s always something wrong with you, but if you were to be something else, then you’ll be part of the community. We’ll finally get equal rights, if only you change. 

Get married, adopt kids. Don’t be poor, don’t be disabled, don’t be a person of color. You can be queer, but not too much, because then they won’t help us. You’ll scare them away. You can come under the umbrella, but if you’re this-or-that, we’ll push you out into the rain. 

This is what assimilation does to people. It pits them against each other, because everyone is holding themselves to a standard of a people that is not their own. And it isn’t just the LGBTQ+ community that does it. 

 ~ “You’re dark skinned - you’re not as good, not as clean, as people with light skin.”   ~ “You’re light skinned - you’re not black enough. Who do you think you are?” 

 ~ “You speak Spanish, so you’re living in the past; you aren’t ‘American’ enough.”  ~ “You don’t speak Spanish, so you aren’t in touch with you’re Latinx roots.” 

And round and round in circles. No one is safe, no one is free. There are too many eyes, too many boxes, and so an identity is scattered like loose change. A people forgets that they are all the same blood, in an effort to dilute it. This is what assimilation does to a people. Society hurts the community, which hurts the individual. All people, vs. your people, vs. you. 

To be queer is to be gifted with an eye-opening experience that never truly ends. It’s a life-long journey of discovery, about who you are and how you want to express that. It’s a description, not a definition. The LGBTQ+ community is vibrant, diverse, and all-encompassing. To be a part of it is to belong, to learn, and to gain friendship. It spans the globe, it brings out the best in people. Your never really stop seeing it’s beauty.   

But it’s made to be something else. It’s told it must be a set of easily identified categories. Queer people are told that they must fit one of these categories, and stick to it. Their identity must be a tight package to fit into. It must be easily understood and easily explained, because God forbid we confuse anyone! And so the queer individual suffers. 

And when the person suffers, so does the community.

So, today’s Valentine’s Day, and I asked myself, what do I want my fellow aromantic kids to know? 

I want them to know that there’s nothing wrong with who they are. They’ve been told that there’s only one way to love, but that’s a lie. So they don’t fit inside a box, a box of flowers and pink hearts and stuffed teddy bears? So what? They’ve got broader feelings in their hearts, feelings that don’t have to be limited, or cookie-cutter perfect, or as recognizable as holding hands. I want them to know that you don’t need to date someone to show them you care. You don’t need to date anyone, in fact: you can just love everyone equally, and that’s OK. We’re told that we need someone to be complete, but here’s a secret: we don’t need other people. We want people, maybe, but we don’t need them. Not in that way.   

I want them to know that their color is green. On the color wheel, green is the opposite of red; red is the color of romance, and we are aromantic.   

I want them to know that they aren’t ‘missing out.’ All forms of love are beautiful, vibrant, exquisite, and kind. They’re kind.   

I’m writing from the heart, guys, from this small green heart that didn’t feel whole until I realized there was nothing wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just a kid who wants to be me, to be free and love freely. Freely, in colors that aren’t just pink and red and ‘we’re an item’ colored. I want all of you to feel that same love; just shout it from the rooftops. You’re valid. You’re beautiful. I know it’s complicated, I know it’s not all clean edges and perfect form. But we’re gonna be okay. I just know it. We’re gonna be okay. 

Green hearts, everybody. Peace.

Prompt 1 February 17&18: Discovery 

I started questioning my sexuality two and half years ago, and for a while I was experimenting with different labels and words to describe myself. Figuring out I was asexual was pretty easy, but my romantic orientation continued to confuse me - sometimes it still does. I knew for certain I fell on the aromantic spectrum when a close friend of mine developed a crush on me, and we started to ‘date’. It became pretty clear to me that there was a problem, and it wasn’t my friend. Two weeks into our relationship, I had to break it off, and I explained all my feelings and discomforts to my friend. Ever since then, I’ve been exploring my aromantic-ness and finding new ways to describe and express it. 

I don’t ever want to date someone, or even kiss them - like a real kiss. I don’t know how I know this for certain, but I do. I never want to say about my relationship with someone “we’re an item. don’t touch us.” Staying single is what works for me. I’m a really affectionate, emotionally open person, but I’ve learned that it’s hard for me to show love for someone without leading them on. I’ve been aware of people developing feelings for me that they think I might reciprocate, but I don’t. It has hurt some friendships and my own way of expressing myself. But I’m just gonna focus on being me, and loving people exactly the way I want to.