ᴍᴏᴏɴʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴋɪꜱꜱᴇꜱ ᴍʏ ꜱᴄᴀʀꜱ, ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ ᴛʜʀɪᴠᴇꜱ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪɴ ᴅᴀʀᴋɴᴇꜱꜱ

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Not Even Gonna Lie, I Expected Yeosang To Leave Her. I Had That Inkling But My Pregnancy Thing Was Not

not even gonna lie, i expected yeosang to leave her. i had that inkling but my pregnancy thing was not accurate. but also low key shitty man made his way to be well known and left her to fix her own life 🙃 wack. lmaoo.

『atarashī 』 ; 09—𝐹𝐼𝒩𝒜𝐿

❝ the other side of love ❞ | mlist  。

Atarash ; 09
Atarash ; 09

student!hongjoong x fem!reader, husband!yeosang x fem!reader — drama, dark romance, mystery, heavy sexual content [6,3k wc] ch cws: smut, the truth, angst, the bad guy doesn't lose i fear.

Atarash ; 09

It's not often that the Akademiya halls find themselves graced by your presence.

Every vibrate of your phone, every receiving of an email or incoming phone call has your stomach in knots even days after you divulging your deepest, ugliest secret to your best friend. Seonghwa swears that he won't tell Yeosang—won't be the one to go behind your back and tell your husband the information that he is deserving of knowing—because it's yours, but it doesn't make the impending stress of it all feel any less suffocating as it hangs on your shoulders.

Nights with Yeosang back home have been quieter; more space created between the two of you since that night approximately a week ago. Home less, or locked away behind closed doors more than he might have usually been. The distance between the two of you feels so much larger than it ever has been. Before, as a result of his career. Now?

As a result of you, most likely.

Hurrying down the halls and towards your destination, you have plans for the early afternoon of today that this particular coming together of colleagues has the potential to impede. Yunho always has picked the worst possible times to ask you to come grab a snack with him, but today especially is doing you no such favors.

You stop in front of the door that brightly hangs his name atop a shiny bronze plaque, knock twice, and are quickly answered to shortly thereafter by the man himself cracking open the door, glancing to see you, and then just as fast ushering you inside and shutting the door behind you once more.

"Long time no see, we don't often meet here," you say, playful. 

Yunho doesn't answer though—unlike him, usually just as silly in his banter with you. Instead, he brings himself back around to sit behind his desk, pulls a folder up in his hand and brings your attention to it.

"We should talk."

Equal parts of you know exactly what that is, and the other desperately hoping to pretend that you don't—that you're wrong. Nervousness strikes through you, tingles at your fingers tips as you slowly sit yourself down in one of the large, plush chairs that stand in front of his desk, as if you're a student yourself being reprimanded for one thing or another.

But you don't have it in you to break the ice of this topic. Instead, you wait in silence as Yunho stares you down, something judging but equally compassionate in his gaze towards you; like he knows what you have gotten yourself into, and like you never stood a chance to begin with.

He inhales, long and heavy. "I'm sure you can guess what this is," he says, slowly opening the yellow file and carding through some of the pages. "That student we discussed not too long ago, Kim Hongjoong. It was a bit more difficult than anticipated locating the rest of his sealed files—suspected that he had a pretty close relationship with someone on the admin board back at one of his other schools if he was able to get something of this degree locked behind these kinds of walls."

Something of this degree.

Yunho reaches over to his side, takes his reading glasses between fingers and put them on his face just before looking back up towards you again.

"Wasn't quite expecting this, however."

Silence falls between the two of you then. A part of you—probably the strongest part—doesn't even want to know what it is that your friend has unearthed.

"What has he told you about his stint in Hong Kong?"

You reel at the question, but for two reasons. You ignore the main part of it, the most obvious part, for the thing that underlines it. "Nothing really, why would he tell me anything?"

Yunho glances up at you again, briefly, eyebrow raised.

You continue on. "He just said that it didn't really work out for him, he burnt out and flunked out. Not really anything worth telling I guess."

"Has he ever asked you for anything that may pertain to your status in regards to the Akademiya, Aurelia, or the people that you may know by familial and social association?"

Chest tightening and throat dry, you feel a particular clamminess to your hands that doesn't often find you. Heart beating strong and fast behind your ribcage, but you have no other choice than to attempt to steady yourself—swallow all of these feelings down, quell the tremble in your breath and soon to be your voice.

"No."

It's then that Yunho spins the folder to face you, pushes it across the desk for your reading and sits back against his chair.

"The reason he was removed from the school in Hong Kong was because he was discovered to be engaging in an affair with at least one person on the admin board. I say one because only one admitted to it, but with how tightly sealed his record is in relation to it, my guess is that he ended on good enough terms with someone who was able to lock all of his nasty little secrets away."

You don't really want to see it, and it takes you a good, long while before you're able to collect yourself enough to lean forward and take the papers into your hands. 

Yunho continues. "So, I made some calls to that school over the past few weeks to see if I could find out anything else. Of course, it's relatively  confidential information in regards to past students so no one really wanted to say much, but I did get a hold of someone who mentioned that one time his computer was confiscated for something wholly unrelated to all of this, his search history was full of names and people. Industry people, mostly women. Women who could probably help him get ahead if he played his cards just right." He shrugs after that. "That's heresy, but it's not exactly difficult to put the very obvious pieces together, if you ask me."

You're different. This is different. What you have, what exists between the two of you, is not at all like whatever this is—whatever this was, has been in the past. 

Quickly and with a soft but firm sound, you shut the file. Push it back towards Yunho and away from you, as if its proximity capable of poisoning a truth that you seem so sure of. Yunho's eyes fall upon you instead of the item in question, which you don't like. You don't want to hear this, don't want to be seen in relation to this. Yes, you asked to know, asked to find out, but that was then.

And this is now. None of that matters. None of that carries any relevance to your relationship with Hongjoong now. You catch yourself considering how jealous a woman she must have been to get him expelled for their goings on, but quickly squash that just as fast as it rears its ugly head in your mind.

"Thank you."

Standing, you quickly whirl yourself around and head back towards the door that you've only recently just entered. Yunho allows it, allows you to go without much of a fight, and with a hand on the doorknob you nearly make it free of the prison that his office feels like before he grants you his final words.

"I saw you."

You still, frozen in place as terror creeps up through your bones. No strength to turn and face him, but you can hear him lightly shuffle in his seat as he reaches towards the file across the way.

"A couple of weeks ago, at a cafe down the street—" You know precisely when and where he means, the recent memory of you and Hongjoong giggling in a booth together in public, for anyone to see. "With him. You two appeared...close."

There's nothing to say in response to it. What could you possibly say?

"He's certainly smart, I'll give him that much. You're not technically employed by the Akademiya yet you have everything and probably even more to offer him than someone from the Akademiya would."

"It's not like that," you bite back, cutting. Displeased by the implication of his words.

"It, and what is it, exactly? Your affair?"

The two of you silence, and you crack the door open to leave.

"You need to call this off."

"Or else?"

"It's not a threat," Yunho says, sympathizes in a way that you can hear laden in his tone.

Then don't punish me for it.

You don't wait to find out if there's more, back down the hall and in the direction from which you came prior.

After all, someone is expecting you.

Atarash ; 09

Repeated banging on the wooden door in front of you, seven, eight, nine—it opens relatively calmly halfway through your attempt at the tenth—calm, considering the urgency in which you pound upon it.

Fist stilling in mid-air, you look upon the man standing in front of you; someone that you have grown so fond of in such a short amount of time, a whirlwind romance that has caused you to lose sight of yourself, your morality, the vision that you've always had towards your husband, your marriage, and especially yourself.

Hongjoong leans on the door, cocks his head to the side somewhat expectantly, none surprised by your being there of course but even beyond that, seemingly unbothered by the stress that wears blatantly upon your form.

"You're late," he says, playful in delivery. His hair is messy atop his head, strewn about like he has only just decided to roll out of bed now that you've arrived, and likely anticipating only ending right back there. 

You push your way inside with no fight from him, Hongjoong closes the door behind you and you drop your bag in the middle of the floor—pacing a little, back and forth along barely waxed wood flooring that hasn't seen much tender love and care since the man in question has moved in. He watches you as you do, doesn't bother saying anything and likely under the assumption that you very much have something to say to him instead, should he simply wait for it. Not wrong, but how do you go about it? How are you to say it?

"I—" you start, then stop just as quickly.

Hongjoong turns his head slightly, inquisitive. "You?"

But instead of words outright, you rush to close the distance between the two of you. Arms coming up to wrap around his neck, pulling him against you and lips fast and hard finding one another. You can feel the shock laden in his body, though there's no reluctance to be found in the action as he is just as quick to follow through to meet you as he always is—always has been—because he is just as enamored by you as you are for him. Just as obsessed, just as everything. Hongjoong wants you, no, needs you just as urgently as you do him.

And so, you part from his mouth, though only enough to speak against it, still so close that any attempt to look at him renders you crosseyed.

"I'm going to leave my husband," you say with finality. "I want to be with you."

You can feel the switch flip beneath your grasp, the tension in his body at the words as he gently pulls away—creates more space between you where you stand in the middle of his living room.

Hands on your shoulders and quite literally holding you at arms length, Hongjoong inhales with something of a hiss, eyebrows pressing together in thought, in unsureness, certainly not in pleasure.

You feel a little bit as though you're dying at the sight of him like this.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," he answers, hesitancy deeply embedded in his tone with no room for miscommunication in as much. "I—we never started this thinking that you were going to leave him, that this was going to become something permanent, right? It was just something fun, something for you to do when you're bored and your husband isn't around."

That's not what you've said. That's not what you've implied. The realization of so many things comes crashing down on you like the weight of the ocean, and similarly, you starkly feel the press atop of your chest. Like you're drowning. Suffocating. All of the oxygen having been sucked out of the room in an instant. Just that easy.

"Hey," he says then, reaches out a hand towards yours, pulls you close again so that the other one can lightly press fingertips into the flesh of your neck, your ear. "Don't think about all of that stuff, you came over here for a reason, right?"

Hongjoong's head dips down, warm lips ghosting across your jawline, settling at your neck just below. Your heart still threatens to beat straight out of your chest, fall through and settle on the floor between both of your feet. He doesn't seem to be all too bothered by that fact though.

And with how weak you are rendered by him, even in times like this, suppose neither are you.

Rolling your hips, you sigh out into the open air of his bedroom. Hongjoong's hands sitting tightly settled onto your hip, one on your waist as you grind against him. One tried and true method of forgetting everything else around you that you wish not to acknowledge nor think about—turns out it works even in the case of him, too.

Gazing up at you from below, Hongjoong watches you intently as you work him. Bottom lip pulled up between his teeth and eyes never for a second leaving you, your body, anything about you. Always you, never anything else but you—and still, Yunho's words from earlier set so heavily on your mind in a way that you hadn't quite anticipated them to; the idea that all of this has been so carefully, perfectly orchestrated by Hongjoong, the idea that much of this is a facade.

How much of it has even been real, and since when has it started? Since the first day you met him? Since that evening at the jazz lounge?

Or maybe even before all of that.

How early on in the hunt does a mouse know that it is prey? Perhaps depending on the aptitude of the predator—it never does. Not until it's far, far too late.

Hongjoong pushes his hips up, pulls down down with a perfectly timed grace. Like he knows you're deeply muddled in your thoughts and he's trying to break you out of the trance. It works temporarily, whining and meeting his efforts halfway once you remember where it is that you are, and what it is that you're doing.

"You're in your head," he says, an obvious statement. Hongjoong takes the opportunity to sit up and roll you over so that you lie beneath him instead. Pushes himself back inside with a slow, calculated drive. You wonder if it's part of his plan to always fuck you like this when he feels as though you're getting away from him a bit. Slower, gentler; the deception of love.

You think about the woman back at his school in Hong Kong. The women. 

He kisses you, teeth lightly nipping into your lip in just the way that you like—and even still, even now—it brings about the same response. A desire for him, an unbridled want. He's so good at this, whatever this even is, in totality.

"Joong," you whisper against his mouth, he hums in acknowledgment of it. "Do you want to be with me?"

The question is purposeful, and you mean the words that make the sentence up, but even more than that it is a test; a test to see the way that he responds physically. Hongjoong kisses at the corner of your mouth, withdraws only to slowly press his hips forward again—tip to full length. Makes sure that you feel everything, all of him.

It tells you everything.

"The only thing I want is for the both of us to get exactly what it is that we want from the other." A surprisingly honest and thorough reply, all things considered. You can't help but guess that he is catching on to your understanding of things now.

Slipping a hand down and between your bodies, he starts to rub careful circles against you as he fucks you—slightly harder, just a bit faster as if intentionally trying to take you to a place where you're teetering on the edge of release. 

And even with the knowledge that you seemingly have, it works. A man that knows you and your body so well, in ways that you've not previously thought possible. Hongjoong has wrapped you tightly around his finger in every possible way, and though you try to bite back the moan that sits strangled in your throat because it's just too easy for him, and perhaps he doesn't even deserve it in the same ways he once has, it's still not enough. Not entirely.

"I know what we both want," he says, airy but sultry as he continues his drives against you. "You, you want a distraction from your utterly boring life. Someone to pay attention to you, someone who makes you feel special, like you're the only one in the whole world."

Your orgasm sits just out of reach, but the words are true and in some ways confirm the suspicion that you've now found yourself contemplating: empty words. A man willing to do and say whatever it is that you want to hear, and you, so pathetic and wanting, thoughtlessly eating it up without a moment of concern. Hongjoong had you in the palm of his hand from the first time he called you his favorite. 

Where does that leave him?

When you come, Hongjoong follows shortly thereafter; holds you tightly against him and continues on with the ruse in telling you all of the ways in which you are so special, so perfect, everything to him. When the both of you finish riding the feeling out through each other’s bodies, he brings his face up from the crook of your neck and kisses you deeply and lovingly—just like he always has. As if the walls of the fantasy haven't already come crashing down around you.

"And what I want is to finally catch that big, big break."

Ah.

You lie there beneath him, staring up at the ceiling and through strands of brown hair that don't belong to you. Hongjoong kisses the side of your face, then your jaw once more before pulling himself up and removing himself from your body completely.

"So, this never meant anything to you."

Glancing down to the edge of the bed where he sits, sorting through previously removed clothes, Hongjoong looks back at you from over his shoulder and snorts out a laugh. "Mutually beneficial, has it not been?"

"You lied to get what you wanted from me."

Hongjoong pulls his shirt over his head, lackadaisical. "I gave you exactly what you wanted from me from the start. You wanted me to pay special attention to you, so I did. You wanted me to tell you pretty words that your husband doesn't, so I did. You wanted me to fuck you stupid numerous times a night, make it exciting, an enthralling secret that only the two of us know about...so I did."

You can't help but laugh. Less at him, and more so at yourself. He's not even wrong, and that's the ugliest part about it.

"And you wanted my industry contacts."

He glances back at you again, a beat of silence passing between you before he opts to answer. "I think I more than earned it."

"You're a piece of shit."

Still lying there, Hongjoong stands, pulls his pants up and walks around to the side of the bed—closer to you. Hands you your clothing that he has kindly gathered and extends them nicely.

"All the more reason to be thankful that you're not actually in love with me then."

You snatch them from his grasp, and he makes his way towards the table that holds his glass of water from earlier. Watches you as you dress yourself again, and then the both of your attention drops to your phone as it vibrates with the notification of an incoming call.

It's Seonghwa, and while you're none in the mood to be hearing from him about this, right now, all things considered, it gives you even more of a reason to get out of here—whatever it is that he is requesting from you. Your eyes catch Hongjoong's, and he simply shrugs. None of this matters to him anymore, anyway.

"Yeah."

"Where are you right now? You're not in your office."

You glance up at Hongjoong again who can most definitely hear the man on the other end of the line. He shrugs.

"Why? What's up?" Still can't say it, still can't admit to it even after divulging as much to the man asking.

Seonghwa doesn't reply right away, instead you can hear him engaging in some sort of discussion with another man that appears to be in his presence. Your pulse immediately strengthens, heart leaping into your throat at the thought of who it can be—until a rather distinct verbal tone serves as enough of an indication that it isn't your husband.

It's Yunho.

"Just...can you come down here? There's some stuff that we need to discuss and put to rest once and for all—"

You go to agree, lips parting to speak but before you're able to get anything out, Seonghwa cuts in to give additional instruction for how you are meant to arrive.

"And since I know you're with him... bring Hongjoong."

When the call cuts, Hongjoong puts his glass down and turns on his heel towards the front door—swipes his keys and wallet from the table and begins shoving his feet into chunky black boots.

"Where are you going?" you ask, assuming the worst of him. Assuming an escape.

He looks over to you and down the short hallway.

"Tying up loose ends." He stands, pulling a light jacket down and beginning to shrug it on. "Shall we, then?"

Atarash ; 09

Down the long, carpeted Aurelia halls, students mind themselves along with a handful of staff from the Akademiya meant to oversee the tasks that they are meant to be accomplishing. It feels so disjointed to you, entering the premises like this; less as the groundskeeper of such a place, and more as someone lining up for slaughter at the hands of your best friend and colleague who await your arrival within the confines of your office.

As you make your way, you occasionally and briefly take a glimpse towards the man walking beside you. Hongjoong walks just next to you; hands shoved in pockets and idly gnawing at the inside of his cheek in a way that might suggest a kind of discomfort at what may be waiting for him inside, but to someone who knows him better—to you—you know it to be nothing of the sort. A comical level of blasé, of indifference. Unbothered by the circumstances that have brought him here as a whole.

Because really, why should he? The checkmate has been served, he has already won his hand.

The door is cracked open and waiting for you when the two of you reach it, Seonghwa standing just beside it and peering over once he hears your approach. He pulls it open enough so that you and Hongjoong can slip through, and although your eyes are centered wholly on him, his are instead focused on the man of the hour—the catalyst for your downfall, the method of your treachery.

Inside, Yunho is standing beside your desk with that all too familiar file in hand. Still, Hongjoong is unmoved by it, by the sight of it, despite surely knowing what it is.

Seonghwa locks the four of you inside, and now it feels like a prison. Judging eyes all honing in on you and your grave misdoings. Only one way for this to get any worse, and you're thankful to Seonghwa for that, at least.

"Right then," Yunho starts, clearing his throat and opening the file once more. "I think it's probably best for everyone if we cut straight to the chase."

Yunho is your peer, a colleague of the Akademiya, but in this moment of the time he feels much like an authority figure over you. It's projection, you understand that much; feeling small in the mounting evidence of everything that you've done and everyone that knows about it.

"There are bits of your records that are missing from your file," he says then, questioning. Looking up from it to eye Hongjoong as he stands firmly between you and Seonghwa who appears to be guarding the door. You wonder if he is anticipating a kind of escape from your affair partner. You know him uninterested in doing anything of the sort, perfectly pleased with the outcome of things and no fear of facing the aftermath of them. "Care to elaborate on why that is?"

"Is it necessary?" Hongjoong asks, offering nothing else beyond it.

Yunho sighs, pulls his glasses off from his face and closes the paperwork in hand. "I can hazard a guess. I made a few more calls today to some of the people who handled your expulsion—"

Hongjoong grins, like he's enjoying the verbal chess that he gets to partake in as a result of this. "So, then you know."

"The 'talented college burn-out who can't seem to make it happen for himself' story is certainly a good one, I see it's gotten you far in your endeavors. Getting your permanent record sealed to this degree, getting what you need from other people, avoiding said expulsion altogether."

That makes you reel. With confusion painting your features, you look towards Yunho first—his eyes still glued to the man in question—then to Hongjoong, who takes a moment to meet you at the very least.

"What does that mean?" you ask.

"You weren't really expelled at all, were you?" Yunho says, hardly a question as he cocks his head to the side knowingly. "Rather, you were going to be, but just like you always do, you found a way to leverage that out of the hands of the person intending to cast it down on you."

Silence passes through the room, Yunho cuts through it to speak again. "You always go through life manipulating women to get what you want out of them, or are your efforts best kept in relation to school, and your career?"

Hongjoong laughs at that. "You call it manipulation, I call it equal and fair exchange. Everyone gets what they want, don't they?"

Seonghwa steps forward suddenly, angry in a way that can be seen in every inch of his body. 

"You've ruined a marriage, probably ruined lives."

"I've not told her husband, and presumably neither have you. I have no interest in ruining her marriage, or anyone else's. She got what she wanted from me, and I was happy to give it. As many times as she wanted, as often as she wanted. We were all just playing our respective roles."

"We're talking about people’s real lives," Seonghwa says again, another step towards the man in question that dredges up so much rage within him. You've not ever seen him this angry before, and a part of you sits only mildly concerned in relation to Hongjoong's physical well-being. Not that it would be entirely underserved, not that it might not even be somewhat cathartic, too. "You say whatever it is that you have to say, do whatever it is that you have to do to get what you want from the people around you and then have the audacity to call it something akin to equivalent exchange—but you have nothing to lose, now do you?"

Hongjoong shrugs. "We weigh our options everyday in making decisions for ourselves. If you don't take an umbrella out and it ends up raining, whose fault is that? The weather, or yours?" He turns and looks at you then. "If someone knowingly decides to engage in an affair—whose fault is that?"

"The person who took the vows."

This voice—a different voice—comes from the doorway, behind Seonghwa who has since inched further and away from that place. You know it before your eyes settle on the keeper of it, but it doesn't stop you from doing so in the most defeated manner. In some way, and much faster than you ever might have anticipated, it's calming in a sense—to see him standing there, listening, coming into all of this knowledge—because now you are free from the secret.

Now, everything is laid out on the table in front of everyone.

Seonghwa swiftly turns, sees Yeosang and then just as quickly looks to you. There's a sort of compassion in his eyes that you know you aren't deserving of, but is being given to you on account of him caring for you, him being your best friend for so, so many years before now. 

Hongjoong doesn't bother replying, his point long since having been made and a quiet understanding among all of you that regardless of how large or little his devious part being played in this has been—he will never admit fault for as much. To Hongjoong, your affair with him is as simple as a kind of bartering system between two people; he gave, and then you gave, and everyone was happy.

Hardly his fault that you are now displeased with the outcome of your own decision making, and for that, you can't even really blame him.

Yeosang steps past Seonghwa, makes his way straight towards you. Ignores your friend, ignores Yunho, and even more shockingly, ignores Hongjoong until he stands himself right in front of you: gaze pointed, judging, full of a kind of hate and resentment that isn't only now beginning its rise, but rather something that has long since been festering and now meeting its spark.

Breath trembling, you slowly reach out for your husband's hand. He allows you to take it into your grasp, though he offers you no reciprocation in the act. Staring. Far from thoughtless, but no words granted to you. 

Your resolve crumbles then, a sob choking out loudly into the open air of your office as the people surrounding you watch on. Falling to your knees, you keep hold of Yeosang tightly, the man still willing to give you little more than a disparaging watchfulness.

"How long?" he finally asks, voice firm and plain. You don't have the breath, the capability to answer him, but you're quick to realize that the question is not intended for you when the other half of your betrayal speaks up in your stead.

"Two months or so," Hongjoong replies, hands still lazily shoved into his pockets. "Haven't been keeping count."

"That where you were that night that you didn't come home? Up all night, worried sick, even had your friend lie for you."

"Seonghwa didn't know—" you choke out the best you can. It's the least you can do, not drag him down in your deception like this.

"Spend your days with another man then come home and spend your evenings in bed with me. Did you even love me enough—respect me enough—to use protection?"

You cry harder at that, Hongjoong sucks his teeth at the question before giving the reply that none of you want to hear. "Not once."

Yeosang shakes his hand free of your grip shortly after, takes his leave quietly and without another word. There are no other words spoken within the office where you lie with hands to your face and sobs ripping from your chest. You have no one to blame for this but yourself. 

Yunho leaves next, and Seonghwa just thereafter. He offers you a modicum of solace, at least; hand pressing into your shoulder to remind you that he's there, and maybe even that he still cares for you in some way, shape or form. In spite of your flaws. In spite of all of the ways that you have failed everyone that you love. Everyone who has loved you.

Hongjoong leaves last, and his presence above all is suffocatingly felt as he stands in front of you; calm, collected, wholly unconcerned by everything that has just taken place in front of him, and large in part, because of him. It's a last moment shared between the two of you when you finally gather yourself enough to look up at him from where you remain on your knees—through wet eyelashes and stinging red eyes—the two of you meet gazes once more. A reminder of something shared, because really, how could you ever forget?

His lips slowly thin into a line, neither a smile nor a frown, nothing more than an acknowledgement of your being there in front of him. A part of you still feels desperate to have him care for you, because the idea of it never having been real to begin with twists the knife that has long since been carved into you as a result of all of this. Please give me something, please show me that there is tenderness still.

Seconds pass that feel like a lifetime; memories of your time together with him flashing before your eyes like a film reel, someone else's life that you're watching, not your own. Smiles, kisses, touches, words; except it felt so real in the moment, how could it not have been real.

Hongjoong moves from place slightly, stills for another instant as he looks at you—as if thinking about what it is that he wants to do from here on out. You don't know what to expect from him now, because in such a short time you've come to find out that you have never really known him to begin with. A stranger to you, perhaps only now having just met for the first time today.

You watch him carefully, the way a single corner of his lip curves upwards in such a slight way that you think him attempting to fight it back, but unable to. Too pleased with himself, pleased with what he has done. 

Victorious in outcome.

When he takes his leave in silence, you're left with nothing else. Hongjoong never offers you any sympathy, nor consolation in the aftermath of a disaster that he had very much been a part of. 

Nor does he bother to thank you for everything graciously given to him.

Atarash ; 09

"Can you bring me that box of files, please?"

With the change in weather and the months quickly passing by around the Aurelia Theater, new students come through the halls and make their way in and out of the empty rooms—picking and choosing their favorites, where they wish to spend the most of their time working on their crafts and busying their hands. A man is heart shouting down the way—something about how someone shouldn't be standing on one of the chairs—but you have enough to worry about on your plate, and thankfully, you have help with that.

Said box in hand, Seonghwa pulls around to the side of your desk, plops it on the floor in front of him and straightens himself back up into a standing position, along with feigning the pain of a strained muscle for dramatic effect.

You roll your eyes, seating yourself in your chair and attempting to sort through the immense amount of papers strewn about before you. "You know, you would think by now I'd get all of this shit settled before the new students and staff made their way in for the new semester."

"One would think that, yes. Far from your first rodeo."

"Thanks for coming to help out, by the way. I'll buy dinner tonight, we can go to that expensive place that you like that also sucks."

Seonghwa scoffs. "It doesn't suck, you just don't have a very refined palate. I accept your offer though."

Flicking corners of papers still in search of a particular contract, you rustle through numerous ones and in the flurry of it all, a pen flies from the edge of your desk and onto the floor just beside your feet. You stare at it lying there for far too long—too long for Seonghwa who you're sure wonders what sort of significance this particular item has to you—the sort of thing you can't divulge to him, the sort of thing that is no longer spoken about. Forgotten to the times. Cast out and never to be acknowledged again for as long as the both of you shall live.

You bend down and pick it up, open the desk drawer and shove it inside without a word. Looking up, your eyes meet Seonghwa's somewhat concerned ones, but you take comfort in knowing that he won't dare ask.

"What time should we go?" Changing the subject despite there not really even being one before.

You shrug. "I'm free after four, have to make the rounds with the new students and faculty, sign some more paperwork and then we can meet if you have somewhere to be."

On days like this everything almost feels normal. There are always subtle reminders of the upheaval of your life not long ago, but you're thankful for the forgiveness of your best friend—a man who has always had your back, and even when you're not even really deserving of it. 

It doesn't feel as empty as it would otherwise have to, as it probably should. The emptiness resides in your chest, where it feels as though your heart once sat; playing reckless games with people, and never anticipating having met your match.

Sometimes you see him on television, in magazines. You're welcome, you think to yourself as you pass. In those moments, the emptiness on your ring finger sits that much heavier than all of the others.

Equivalent exchange—you made him, and he destroyed you.

Atarash ; 09

a/n: HOI! the end of another big and dramatic story from your neighborhood longfic-infidelity-drama-angst enjoyer! it was a wild ride and i hope yall had fun hehe. some of you guys suspected parts of the ending correctly, here is your retribution! you win [hand shakes] 💗 as always, ask box is open and i look forward to hearing from you :)

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More Posts from Svintsnghostsrecs

1 year ago

Freak Show Talk | 3racha, lmh

Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh
Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh
Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh
Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh

𝙫. 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙨

! fwb, free use ft. all, fujoshi fem reader, poly, enm, angst, smut, dead dove do not eat. <1k wc. 18+ readers only !

「Contents List」 「Act 1」  「© Sept 2023 by jl-micasea-fics」

Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh

After a shower and light breakfast of hangover soup, Minho is rather more chipper than his waking state suggested he had any right being.

He’s curled up in the single armchair, laptop balanced on his knees, earbuds in. From teen emo fantasy to domestic dream, he’s all fluffy ash-blonde and clear skin, freshly washed loungewear and warmth. Make-believe boyfriend. He’s also content to let you dominate the television, taking an earphone out when the drama peaks; it’s never in short supply where Christine is concerned. You rather like that Crishelle doesn’t take her shit lying down. The jury’s still out on Mary.

Much of the morning passes in comfortable silence, his humming and occasional dance ticks catching your attention when the lives of the disgustingly rich and famous fail to.

“Oh,” he suddenly emotes, blinking at his phone.

“What?”

“Jisung texted me.”

You drop the duvet thread you were fiddling with. “What?”

“Han Jisung. Texted me?”

Struggling with the weight of the duvet, you manage to sit upright, stoked enough to mostly ignore the way your head smarts in protest of the movement.

“3racha?”

He nods.

“What did he say?”

He squints at his phone, purses his lips. “He’s, uh...” He cocks his head. “He invited me to a show tonight.”

“A show?”

“Their show.” His phone buzzes again. “They’re playing Sinner’s.”

Huh. It’s not quite jealousy. You don’t think, anyway.

“That’s awesome. Look at you going up in the world. Remind me to ask for your autograph.”

He flicks a gaze to you, dark and unimpressed. Your tummy throbs.

“What?”

“You’re coming with me.”

You wave a dismissive hand. “I wasn’t invited. Besides, I’m not feeling well. I’m better off staying—”

Before you can finish, he tosses his phone to the pillowy mass of duvet. “Read.”

The screen displays Jisung’s thread of texts.

>> yooo it’s jisungie. last night was lit. not feeling so hot today though lol

>> we’re doing sinners tonight. u and hot roomie should come

>> be awesome to see u again

“Oh.”

Minho hums.

“Hot roomie?” you ask.

“That would be you.”

“Naturally. And they think I’m hot because...?”

He catches his phone when you toss it back to him. “Because I told them so.”

Something in your frontal lobe implodes.

“Oh.”

“I have seen you naked.”

Right. That happened. Apparently? Fuck.

On your stunted silence, he puffs a breath. “I thought you hyped them,” he says.

“Bitch, please. You know I do.”

He laughs, a smirk lingering on his mouth. He rises from his chair and moves to you, veined, strong hands resting lightly on your shoulders. Warm. If only they weren’t so wide of your throat, you could be wearing them as a necklace.

He stares at you. The world is white noise and pixels.

“You know they’re fucking, right?”

“I— What? The fuck?”

“You didn’t?” He blinks, all feigned innocence. “They told me. Kind of had my suspicions anyway; they triggered my queer-dar to no end.”

“3racha...” You fall to silence, the mental images conjured so disgustingly salacious even the little black box struggles to contain them, because it’s the stuff of delirium made tangible and that simply isn’t—it can’t be—safe for consumption. There’s not enough room in the little black box. Nowhere near enough with what already lives there to comprehend the three of them. 3racha. Them. So beautiful and untouchable and all over each other in the aftermath of a concert or in the back of their tinted transit or in the steamed-up studio or—

Hysteria bubbles at the back of your throat; Minho giggles, thumbs a stray strand of hair from your face.

“Sorry. Probably shouldn’t have dropped that on you,” he says. “Some confidant I am.”

“N— No, it’s…”

Fine? Because it’s not fine. You’re so far from fine you’re no longer sure how to spell the word. Minho searches you, the weight of something unreadable behind his eyes. He wets his bottom lip, swallows and steps back.

Everything screams.

“So, you’re coming, yes?”

Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh

𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚, 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨𝙠 ♡ 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙠𝙤-𝙛𝙞 ♡

< 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 | 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 >


Tags :
1 year ago

Hyunjin: Age-Restricted (Part Seventeen)

Hyunjin: Age-Restricted (Part Seventeen)

Characters: Hyunjin x female reader (ft other skz members)

Genre/warnings: nanny!reader, ex-porn star/neighbor!hyunjin, generally inexperienced and painfully shy virgin!reader, angst, humor, fluff toward the end (ur welcome), sorta hurt/comfort i think???, mentions of porn and sex work (minors dni!!!)

Word count: 3,937

Summary: You think it’s luck when the new family you nanny for is so stupid rich that they rent you a fancy new apartment just so you can live closer to them. You think it’s luck when the guy across the hall is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen in your entire life and makes an effort to talk to you. But that’s just about where your luck runs out, because Hyunjin is more out of your league than you could ever imagine, and you’re just some hopeless virgin who never had good luck in the first place.

Previous | Next | Series Masterlist

Changbin walked into the house with the brownies in one hand. He found Hyunjin leaning against the counter by the stove while his girlfriend cooked dinner for the three of them. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Of course she would decide to cook despite working that day. She’d rather cook and be sore than let Hyunjin anywhere near the stove.

“You could’ve ordered something,” Changbin spoke up, letting his presence be known to the pair. Hyunjin looked up from his phone but Kit didn’t even turn to look at him. “Or you could’ve asked me to grab something.”

“It’s fine,” she hummed, not sounding bothered in the slightest.

“It’s not fine, she complained as soon as she got home that everything hurts,” Hyunjin stated, throwing her under the bus.

She turned her head to glare up at him, “You try being folded into a pretzel all day.”

Hyunjin just gave her a blank look before she just sighed and mumbled, “Yeah, I know.”

“So you weren’t the one doing the folding today?” Changbin chuckled. “Sorry to hear that.”

“Being the pretzel is far worse,” she huffed. 

“Then why are you standing and cooking? Go lay down.”

“Oh, and let Hyunjin cook?” she finally turned around to face her boyfriend. “Why don’t we just give him some gasoline and matches while we’re at it.”

“Order something, Kittery,” Changbin chuckled.

“I don’t wanna,” she whined. “I want home cooked.”

“Lucky for you, these are,” he smiled, holding out the container of brownies.

The pair’s eyes went wide, having forgotten about Changbin’s promise to bring home brownies that day. Kit eagerly took them from him and immediately popped open the lid. As Hyunjin got as close to her side as possible to grab one, Changbin walked over to him and nudged him before he could get one, taking the yellow paper from his pocket.

“This is for you,” he said, giving him the folded square.

Hyunjin’s eyes furrowed, but he turned to take the note and unfolded it. Almost immediately, his face fell.

Kit had turned around and was on her tiptoes by Hyunjin’s shoulder, trying to read, “What is it?”

Changbin shrugged, “It’s from _____.”

Kit looked at her boyfriend with wide eyes, but Hyunjin’s were still scanning down the page as he read.

‘We both know how we feel about each other, and I’m not your charity case. I’m not yours to worry about. You’ve reminded me plenty of times. Stop paying for my apartment. I’m moving out either way. 

Fuck you.

_____’

Kit gasped loudly before exclaiming, “YOU’RE PAYING FOR HER APARTMENT?!”

Hyunjin held his ear closest to Kit, flinching away from her. But he didn’t even bother replying to her or scolding her because his brain was elsewhere. Instead, he glared at Changbin.

“How the hell did she find out?!” he demanded.

Changbin shrugged again, “I don’t know, she just ran into me when I went to get the brownies. She was at the front desk and gave me the note. I’m just the messenger, okay? I didn’t even know you were paying her rent.”

“Why are you paying for her entire fucking rent?!” Kit continued. “Hello?”

Hyunjin looked obviously stressed as he ran his fingers through his hair, finally looking at Kit, “I don’t know, okay?! It felt like the right thing to do!”

“You don’t even like her, that doesn’t make sense, Hyunjin!” she pointed out.

“Just because I’m mad at her doesn’t mean I want her to be homeless!”

“So you still care about her?” she pressed.

“I don’t know!” he whined. “I guess!”

Her eyes widened as everything clicked, and she got a wide smile on her face, pointing accusingly at him. “You love her! Hwang Hyunjin, you’re in love! You can’t tell me you’re not, I know you are! You wouldn’t pay thousands of dollars a month for just anyone!”

He let out an annoyed sigh and threw out his hands, “Okay, so what if I am?! Who cares?! Not her! Because she fucking hates me!” he let out a sigh, trying to calm himself down, but he looked and sounded defeated when he spoke again. “It’s too late now. I mean, I ended things, and then she said she only wanted me so she could lose her virginity.”

“If you know she doesn’t actually care about you, why would you pay for her stuff?” Changbin wondered.

Hyunjin just shrugged, “I don’t know. Because…I do love her even if I don’t want to… Even if she hurt me…”

Changbin let out a small sigh and looked up at his friend seriously, “Hyun, is there any way that maybe this is all just some big miscommunication?”

“I heard what I heard,” he stated surely. But he rolled his eyes like he just wanted to forget about the whole thing before he grabbed his keys off the counter and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Kit asked him, following behind him.

He turned and waved the note, “I have to take care of this.”

“What’re you gonna do?” Changbin questioned. “Tell her it’s not you?”

“Yup.”

And then the door slammed behind him, leaving the couple stunned in their house.

Kit suddenly whipped around to Changbin and gave him an accusing look, “You lied to him. You absolutely knew what that note was.”

Changbin just smirked, “Yup.”

“But now he’s gonna go lie and make it worse,” she pointed out.

“I have a feeling the truth will come out this time. He’s worked up and so is she. It has to come out.”

“Doesn’t that just mean they’ll blow up at each other?”

Changbin sighed, “Lovebug, I’ve known Hyunjin for years. I know how he works better than he does.”

“But you don’t know _____ that well. What if things get worse?”

“I had a chat with her about her side of things. If they want things fixed, I’m willing to help. But they need a chance to do it themselves.”

Kit’s eyes brightened as she looked at her boyfriend, “Tell. Me. Everything.”

-

“He what?!”

Suddenly, there were double the people on the screen, all trying to cram in to look at you. Chan and Jisung were overpowered by Minho and Seungmin, but all four of them looked absolutely flabbergasted at what you’d told them.

“Your rent is being paid with that porn star money!” Minho gasped.

“How did he even switch the payment over?” Chan wondered.

“I kinda forgot to ask at first, so I had to go back downstairs and ask Jihoon,” you admitted, running your free hand that wasn’t holding your phone through your hair. “He said the parents came back and paid to end the lease early, which meant the apartment went back up for grabs basically immediately. So that means Hyunjin had to buy the apartment after that. So he already paid for the first three months of rent because that’s the policy for renting here.”

“Holy shit,” Minho breathed. “Are we sure we don’t want to try again with him?”

“No, we hate him,” Jisung stated, giving him a disgusted look.

“But I sent Changbin with a note to give him basically telling him to fuck off and stop paying for it, and if he doesn’t listen, I guess I’ll have to figure that out,” you continued. “I guess I could just…move out anyway. It’s not my problem if he’s wasting money on an empty apartment.”

“No, keep the free boujee apartment!” Minho insisted. “Ooh! Or let me secretly move in! You can just take my room.”

“Why would he even do that, though?” Seungmin questioned. “Is this really the same dude who was using you? Why would he drop that much money to keep you from getting kicked out?”

“You think I know?” you huffed. “I’m just some silly little jobless i–”

“And bitchless,” Minho chimed in.

“Jobless and bitchless–”

There was a knock at the door and you immediately looked straight at the door. Part of you wondered if it was Jihoon with your eviction notice. You wondered if he just did the work for you and removed Hyunjin from the billing information because he knew you were pissed off about it.

“What?” Jisung asked.

“Shh!” Seungmin hissed.

“It might be Jihoon,” you told them, but you kept your voice down just in case it was someone else. “I’ll call you guys later.”

“But we’ll be quiet,” Minho whined.

“Just let her go,” Chan sighed. “Jesus.”

Then he ended the call before any of them could protest.

You got up from the couch, leaving your phone there as you went to the door, going carefully and quietly. You looked through the peephole and your heart jumped into your throat.

Hyunjin.

He stood in the hallway, still looking perfect as always. His hair that you had once bleached blonde for him and the roots had grown out, was now completely dark brown, almost black. It was in the typical half-up, half-down, and he was wearing a white Adidas tank top that was tucked into black Adidas joggers.

You hated that you still found him to be the most ethereal looking person you’d ever seen, even in such a basic outfit that he had probably just been lounging around in.

Either way, you decided to carefully step away from the door, turning back around to go hide away in your room for a while.

“_____, I know you’re in there,” you heard him call like he knew you had just turned around.

You stood there for a moment, frozen and silent, considering ignoring him again.

“Hanni already told me you’re up here,” he stated when you didn’t reply.

She’s really on a roll today, you thought to yourself.

Finally, you let out a sigh and turned back to the door, “So?”

“So open the door,” he demanded, not raising his voice but definitely sounding angry and frustrated.

Well, you didn’t really have many other options. If you continued to ignore him, he’d probably just keep yelling through the door. Hell, he’d probably go downstairs and get a spare key since he was the one paying for the apartment. He was the owner of it now so what kept him from being locked out?

Reluctantly, you pulled open the door.

Immediately, Hyunjin stepped forward, so you stepped back, and he held up the note you’d given to Changbin, “What the fuck is this?!”

The only other time you’d seen him mad was when he’d shown up at Chan’s apartment, and it kind of scared you because you hadn’t seen him mad before. This time was no different, but you refused to back down. Your anger you felt toward him wouldn’t let you cower and stand there without speaking.

“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice quieter than his but it was unwavering. “Didn’t you read it?”

“Yes, that’s why I’m asking,” he stated in an exasperated tone.

You shrugged, though the building anxiety from the confrontation was making your hands start to shake already, “It’s pretty self-explanatory then.”

“Why would you think I’m paying for your apartment?” he demanded, his voice getting louder.

“Drop the act, Hanni already slipped up and told me.”

Like a switch was flipped, Hyunjin’s hand dropped to his side and he let out a deep sigh, rolling his eyes before he started grumbling about how he made all the front desk workers promise to keep it a secret, and then something about money.

You quirked a brow, “Didn’t Changbin tell you? He was there.”

He groaned and dropped his head back as everything started clicking.

“Of course he didn’t tell me!” he said with an annoyed smile. “Why would Changbin tell me when he obviously wanted me to come talk to you. That would be stupid of him.”

You chose to ignore his annoyance because honestly, that wasn’t your problem.

“So why are you paying for my shit, exactly?” you asked, changing the subject back to the original issue. “Where did you find the audacity to think it was fine for you to do that? Actually, what made you think I would want you to do that? What made you think I wanted anything to do with you, actually?”

“I’m the reason you got fired, so I’m responsible,” he told you like it was obvious. “Hence, I should make sure you don’t end up homeless.”

You let out a sigh of your own eyes rolling out of how tired you were of having to tell him this.

“You don’t have to be responsible for me!” you burst. “You said it yourself: we’re not dating. I’m not yours to worry about. I already told you I quit because of my morals, not because of anything to do with you!”

You could feel hot tears wanting to burn your eyes. You felt so many emotions while you argued with Hyunjin about the same shit again, and saying the things he said to you just made them sting all over again. And all you could think about was the one thing he said to you that you couldn’t get out of your head.

“I’m just some stupid loser virgin or whatever, right?” you mumbled, looking away from him and crossing your arms over your chest, trying so hard not to cry in front of him. That was the absolute last thing you wanted.

Hyunjin’s stance relaxed slightly when he saw your eyes get glossy. He let out a sigh and his anger seemed to fade, at least mostly.

“I didn’t mean it when I said that,” he admitted, his voice softer now. “Honestly, once I cooled off a little, I really regretted even saying it. I know how much it bothers you, and in the moment, I just wanted to hurt you like you hurt me.”

“That’s not fair,” you grumbled, still not meeting his eyes. You sniffled to try to keep the tears back. “I never said a-anything mean about you.”

Your voice broke, and the tears started coming. But you quickly started wiping them away, refusing to break down just yet. Not while Hyunjin was still standing only a few feet away from you and basically in the doorway to your apartment. 

“You and I both know I heard what you said when you were at your old apartment,” he reminded you.

“Okay, but you didn’t hear all of it!” you burst, your lower lip quivering. You wiped stray tears away and took a deep breath before continuing. You were honestly trying to not have an entire panicked breakdown having to confront Hyunjin like this. “We were trying to just make light of the situation because I was so tired of just crying all week, and I thought joking about it would just make it less…sad? Embarrassing? Whatever. I just wanted to joke about it because it felt so shitty and embarrassing, but I never once used you for anything. I mean, you’ve literally seen me panic over a fucking kiss, and you think I could even try to use you? The amount of times you had to calm me down to do anything– How would that even make sense? I didn’t even know about the porn thing until the day you fucking ended everything!”

While you talked, you could see the gears turning in Hyunjin’s head. You could see the way your words were starting to add up with the things he’d heard, and everything was starting to make sense.

You took another deep breath to calm yourself because you were getting too worked up again. Then you continued, “The guys joked about how I fumbled you, and I went along with the bit. I was using humor to cope because you used me and I felt embarrassed because I fell for it, and I felt gross because I was just some corruption kink to you. I was just some stupid fucking loser who still had her virginity, and that’s all I was. I liked you a lot, and you never felt anything. It’s fucking embarrassing, Hyunjin. But…yeah. That’s it.”

You weren’t looking at him, so you didn’t see the way his heart absolutely shattered hearing you talk. Not only about how you thought he hurt you, but the way you talked about yourself. It hurt him to hear that, and it showed on his face.

“_____, I was never using you,” he told you softly, taking a step forward and reaching his hand out like he wanted to cup your face. But he thought against it, dropping his arm and letting the note you’d written him fall to the floor. “_____, I ended things because I found out you worked with kids and I knew what would happen. Someone like me shouldn’t be involved with someone in that field because of the possible repercussions. I just wanted to protect you. And then the mom found out and threatened to tell you, and I thought you didn’t know at the time so I– I panicked. I was scared you’d think I was disgusting or that you were disgusting for doing anything with me and I–” he sighed, shaking his head helplessly. “I just wanted to protect you the whole time. I wanted you to keep your job because I knew how much you loved it.”

“Yeah, well, we ended up here anyway,” you stated, lamely throwing your arms out to the side and letting them fall back down to your thighs.

Hyunjin let out a chuckle. You looked at him, surprised that he was capable of laughing right now, but he was actually laughing quietly as he nodded.

“Yeah, I guess it was kind of all for nothing,” he shrugged.

Then it fell silent. Neither of you made any move, just standing a few feet away from each other. Everything was out on the table now.

It made you feel better knowing Hyunjin never used you, but you were still mad at him. You couldn’t place why, you just were. It was like when you had a dream and got mad at someone in your dream, but then you woke up and still felt mad at them. It was a residual mad.

But you also felt sad. You were sad that Hyunjin worried about telling you about his past in fear that you’d feel gross being with him. You didn’t like that that was something he even had to worry about. You wished you’d made him feel more comfortable so maybe he would’ve told you.

Then all of this would’ve been avoided.

“_____,” he took another step toward you, completely in your apartment now. Cautiously, he raised his hand to see if you would swat it away or move away from him, but when you didn’t, he put a bent finger under your chin and made you look at him. “I fucked up. None of this would’ve happened if I was just honest from the beginning, or at least came clean when it started to catch up and just let you decide what to do. And I’m so sorry for everything.”

“I wouldn’t have hated you…” you mumbled, casting your eyes down again.

“I panicked. I should’ve done the smart thing but I chose the coward’s way out instead, and it only made you hate yourself, and probably hate me even more than the former would’ve. Honestly, I wanted to ask you out the day I brought you lunch, but then I saw the kid and found out you were a nanny and I just spiraled.”

You knew the part you fixated on – the part that made your eyes go wide and meet his brown ones again – wasn’t the main point to what Hyunjin said. But that was the part you held onto anyway.

“You were gonna ask me out?” you asked.

He chuckled seeing the way you looked at him, moving his hand to cup your cheek and rub the skin with the pad of his thumb, “Well, duh. I mean, I– …Okay, if we’re gonna do this whole honesty thing, I’m just gonna– Okay. I was gonna ask you out because I realized I loved you. I mean, I do love you. I love you. That’s what I’m trying to say. I love you currently. Still. Hence the apartment thing.”

“But you thought I was using you.”

“I know, and I was mad at you,” he nodded, “but it didn’t make me stop loving you right away. That would’ve definitely taken some time. A lot more than the time we’ve been apart. Think of it like a couple who lives together, and they get into a big fight but they both still pay rent because they love each other. They’re mad but love trumps mad, right?”

You went quiet, trying to consider everything. There was a lot of information to take in and a lot was happening all at once – on top of Hyunjin dropping the “L” word a lot. You went from believing Hyunjin used you and was actually a disgusting man that you unfortunately still had feelings for, to realizing he was just trying to protect you and was afraid of letting you know who he really was in case you didn’t accept him for it, and you should still have feelings for him because he was just a sweetheart who couldn’t communicate due to fear.

But you still felt the residual anger.

“I don’t know what to do…” you told him just above a whisper, eyes casting downward again even though Hyunjin still held your face.

“What do you mean?” he murmured, tilting his head to one side and trying to move his head to get you to look at him. He moved his other hand to cup your other cheek to help with trying to get your gaze to meet his.

“I’m still mad at you…” you admitted in a mumble, finally meeting his eyes.

To your surprise, he smiled softly and shrugged, “That’s okay.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, confused by his reply, “Then what do we do?”

“You can still be my girlfriend and be mad at me. I was mad at you but still in love, so,” he shrugged again.

Finally, a small smile broke onto your face, and it only made Hyunjin’s smile widen. He hadn’t seen your smile in so long. He missed it.

“That sounds good,” you decided.

Hyunjin’s face went closer to yours, but you pulled back, away from his hands that cupped your face, and his lips looking to meet yours.

He looked absolutely appalled and moved back to study you.

“I said I’m still mad. No kisses until I’m not mad.”

“Good thing I’m good with loopholes,” he smirked before he cupped your face once again and attacked your face with kisses and dramatic ‘mwah!’ sounds.

Another thing Hyunjin missed, maybe more than your smile, was the sound of your loud laughter – especially when thrown in the middle, you’d giggle, “Hyunjin!”

He definitely missed hearing you say his name.

“Hang on,” he suddenly pulled back.

Your eyes widened slightly as you looked back at him, “What?”

“I told you I love you,” he stated. “Where do you…stand? So I know where we’re both at. We need to get good at this communication thing.”

“...Honestly, it sounds really dumb and cheesy but, I’ve, uh–”

“You’ve never been in love before?” he guessed with a small smirk.

You shrugged, “Yeah. So I could’ve been feeling love or infatuation. I’m not too sure what love feels like, y’know?”

He smiled at you softly, “That’s okay. I’ll wait for you to figure it out.”

————✧♡✧————-

tag list (italics are unable to tag): @hyuneyeon @ack-aashi @rindomo @ihopeitrainstonight @castledy @broken-glowsticks @smollquokka @yeetfellx @fwess @zoe8stay @fleeingreality @might-be-a-rat @sluttysohn @eliserbt2001 @catskpop @diamondsvts @minaamhh @jaspriv @sankyg @straydhampir @hyunsungbased @7miroh @animefreak2112 @junsjuly @drrramaaaqweeen @accalus @bakedlilgoonie @So_Pe07 @drugerlime @shmooooo @hwangshoneycake @notmebutyouu @vampjin0 @stay-berry @kiribirien @beombeomlovesme @lockeansonder @jisungsbff01 @ppiri-bahng @hyunniethepooh @peachessandhoney @kpopssuregi @moondustmemories @artistic-rendition @lolli4me @s-u-n-z-e @levislifeline @certifiedmarkleetrash @simpxxstan @second0325 @linosjureumi [be added to the taglist by filling out this form!]


Tags :
1 year ago

Freak Show Talk | 3racha, lmh

Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh
Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh
Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh
Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh

𝙫𝙞𝙞. 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙨𝙤 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩'𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙝

! fwb, free use ft. all, fujoshi fem reader, poly, enm, angst, smut, dead dove do not eat. <1k wc. 18+ readers only !

「Contents List」 「Act 1」  「© Sept 2023 by jl-micasea-fics」

Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh

It’s by the most innocent of interactions that you’re reminded: you were invited to this gig personally.

Jisung works the crowd at the frontmost edge of the stage, catches sight of Minho, and the brightest smile of white is offered with a wave that your roommate casually returns.

Fuck.

When the show breaks, you’re glad of it. Sweating in places you thought it impossible, you shout in Minho’s ear: “I need a drink!”

He nods, takes your hand, starts off in the opposite direction of the bar. At the rear of Sinner’s where it’s quiet, he stops between a set of close, black pillars.

“Didn’t you hear me?” you huff. “I said I needed a—”

From his back pocket, he retrieves a steel and leather-bound hip flask. “Drink?”

Your slow grin is helpless. “Don’t mind if I do.”

Taking the flask and knocking back a measure, the sting of cherry vodka is welcome. You shudder and swallow it, the sweet burn on your tongue a relief from the acridity. Minho watches, takes it back when you offer.

“Having fun?” he asks.

You sag against the pillar. “So much.”

“They’re so different on stage,” he says, swigs from the flask. He hisses through his teeth. “It’s like they’re possessed or something.”

“Possessed by talent.” You take the flask from him again. Another sip, less strong the grimace. “I’m more confused as to why they’d play a dive like Sinner’s.”

“For real,” Minho sighs, looks around. “Hey, maybe you can ask them.”

“Ask them?”

“Yeah. After the show.”

He pulls his phone out, squinting against the brightness. When he turns the screen to you, it’s a message thread. The latest is a few minutes ago:

>> u look amazing!! come backstage after the show. bring your roomie

>> and u were right lol. wow. she hot.

>> hot hot

>> lmao jkjkjk

>> but no fr bin hyung is smitten with her already lolol

>> uh. don’t tell her i said that

>> okie

>> see u later tater

“Jisung...”

“Such a dork, right?” Minho laughs, puts his phone away. “Like I said; hard to believe it’s the same guy tearing that stage up. Maybe he has an evil twin. God, that’s some bucket list shit.”

“But...” you hesitate, then simply say, “Smitten?”

Minho quirks a perfect brow, his well-placed highlighter shimmering. If you licked it, would you shimmer too?

You take another cherry-tinctured hit from the flask.

“That’s what he said,” he smiles.

“He’s exaggerating.”

“Of course he’s exaggerating; it’s Jisung. Doesn’t mean there’s no truth to it though. You’re beautiful.”

“You’re biased.”

He shrugs. “I mean; yeah.”

“Damn bestie obligations,” you mumble.

A third sip from the flask is taken under his knowing eye. He purses his glossed lips and says, “You don’t want to meet them?”

“I do. I don’t know. Haven’t you heard the saying about never meeting your idols?”

Minho rolls his eyes. “Haven’t you heard the saying about removing the stick from your ass?”

“Rude.”

He holds his hand out for the flask. “If you’re not down, we won’t go. I just don’t know why you’d want to pass up this opportunity. I thought you loved them.”

“I do, I’m down. Don’t underestimate me.”

He eyes you as he sips from the flask. When he swallows, he runs his tongue over his teeth. They probably taste like cherry and—

“It’s been a while since you hooked up with anyone, hasn’t it?”

“Excuse me?”

He regards you with cool nonchalance. “You heard me.”

“I mean—” Warmth rises in your face. “I don’t really, like, keep track—”

Minho closes in, radiating heat. With the pillar at your back, there’s nowhere to go. Nowhere else you’d want to be anyway.

“Hasn’t it?” he presses, voice so low it squeezes your clit.

“Yes. Fine. Yes. It’s been... a bit.”

He huffs gently, amused.

“Nosey much?” you mumble.

“Can’t I be curious? Thought we told each other everything.”

Not everything, Min.

On your silence, the corner of his mouth tugs into a smile. Unable to bear the way his eyes suggest so much, you drop your gaze. He tilts your chin up; your heart pounds painfully. He looks at you like you might vanish any moment; closely, deeply. The way lovers do. He’s so close— you taste his air, his scent. It’s agonisingly real. Not real enough.

He runs his thumb over your bottom lip, freeing it from the grip of your teeth. It lingers, hovers; your breath catches when he runs it back, the thick pad soft against the swell.

“What is happening right now?” you breathe, lightheaded.

He blinks slowly. His lips part, his chest heaves.

“I’m your best friend,” you whisper.

“Yeah.”

And Minho kisses you; a swift brush of plush lips that gets the measure of you. He holds close and waits. The surrounding grunge of Sinner’s is a jpeg, your heartbeat an intemperate thundering that demands you snatch before he sobers from the drunken daze he must be in, because holy fucking shit, he just kissed you. In reaching for his shirt and curling a grip, Minho grins, roguish and handsome; arm braced to the pillar above your head, he presses you against it. He tastes like boozy cherry and mint gloss. You melt when he cups your cheek, when he inhales your broken breaths and groan. Hitching your leg to his waist, he drops his arms and lifts you, firmly pinning you to the pillar.

Around you the lights dim; cheers and screams erupt. Your pants are staggered, foreheads pressed together.

He speaks first. “We should...”

“Y— Yeah.”

He puts you down gently, takes your hand, leads you back into the crowd. 3racha jog on stage, teeming with energy that blows up their mics and propels them into ‘Matryoshka’.

Minho’s arms around your waist keep you grounded.

His taste on your lips keeps you high.

Freak Show Talk | 3racha, Lmh

𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚, 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ♡ 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙠𝙤-𝙛𝙞 ♡

< 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 | 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 >


Tags :
1 year ago

i just wanna say thank you for allowing me to creatively edit this edit and that i somehow hit it right on the nose. i'm so happy to have done so for you! ❤️ i am excited for you and for this fic. i can't wait to read it.

Fic Preview: Predestined

Thank you to @svintsandghosts/ @buryallmyboness for letting me commission you. I needed some inspo for this draft. Not only did you create something wonderful, but it’s a great way to show off a preview of my draft.

So now I'm sharing it with all you guys. I will always write SKZ and Ateez but I've been sitting on a Soobin idea for a minute. A fic preview under the cut if you guys are curious!

A word of caution! This fic deals with some darker themes. Character deaths, violence, stalking, and supernatural themes and occult. When I post the full fic I will have the warnings labeled as always.

Fic Preview: Predestined

++++

Dreams are fascinating. The body lets the subconscious take control to tell us stories. From things we desire to farfetched nonsense, leaving you to ponder what it all means. Some dreams can feel like memories. A déjà vu that sticks with you for half a day while you try to recall more. Finally, not all dreams are pleasant. Some bring dread or fear, becoming a nightmare you fight to wake up from.

For you, a reoccurring dream occurs over and over for as long as you can remember. Happens almost every night. The image is hazy, reminiscent of static on a tv clearing up. Silent bright flashes of images across your vision only lasting a few seconds at a time.

At the start is yourself, terror written on your face while clinging to a door handle in desperation to pull it open. The door doesn’t budge, locked by someone else. Your pleas are silent as tears run down your cheeks.

The second image is the opposite of you. A man, tall and lean. Blood covers the front of his clothes. Brown doe-like eyes locked on you. He extends a hand, trying to reach you to calm you down.

The third is a man lying in the middle of an unknown symbol painted on the wood flooring. Blood pools around his frame because of a fatal wound in his stomach. His cat eyes were wide open with pupils blown wide. Lips are parted, gasping for air.

The voices come, starting off soft and then growing louder. Almost if someone presses the volume up on a remote till it’s deafening.

First is your own, distressed, and straining with concern. “Soobin, what have you done?”

Then comes his. Flat, lacking emotion. “What I had to do.”

As quickly as the dream starts, it’s over. You wake up breathless, heart pounding inside your chest. There are tears on your pillowcase, a tangled blanket at your feet, and a name muttered from your lips.

Yeonjun.


Tags :
1 year ago
Ugh. Vampire Chan. Not Gonna Lie I Was Expecting Big Old Meanie Vampire But A Soft One? One Soft And
Ugh. Vampire Chan. Not Gonna Lie I Was Expecting Big Old Meanie Vampire But A Soft One? One Soft And

ugh. vampire chan. not gonna lie i was expecting big old meanie vampire but a soft one? one soft and a simp for his girl? LET ME AT HIM NOW.

Monarchs: Blood Favor

Monarchs: Blood Favor

Pairing: Vampire Chan x Human Fem Reader

Summary: Chan is a great leader. You’ve known him your whole life. You trust him. You also trust him to teach you new things after things escalate between you.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI due to adult content. Blood feeding, Virgin MC/inexperienced MC, MC has a praise kink, corruption kink, size kink if you squint, fingering, unprotected sex/PIV, heavy use of petnames(Baby, baby girl, good girl. I have to. It’s Chris.)

Word Count: 10,800 and some change

Author’s Note: Oh my god I’m finally updating this series. It’s been a year! Holy cow! I’m sorry! 😭 I will say I’m not sorry for this Chan. 😤 He’s a 300 year old vampire with a consenting virgin in his lap. Enjoy though. I’m glad I finally got this baby out. And those who have been invested in the series let me know if you caught some references and I’d love to know what upcoming fic in the series you’re excited for!

Tag List: @lee--felix, @nymeriaaa, @hyuckilstan, @9900z, @jess-1404 , @formysakeamaryllis, @skzflix-au, @downforseochangbin, @lotus-dly, @cb97percent, @moasworld, @nixtape-foryou, @skizzel-reblogs, @svintsandghosts, @jeyelleohe, @starryoong, @djeniryuu, @toplinelix (Message me if you would liked to be added or removed. You’ll be notified when I post!)

Monarchs: Blood Favor

Scared doesn’t cover what you felt as you sat in the office waiting for the vampire leader. Chan, as you knew him, agreed to meet you when you sent a letter asking to speak to him. You needed a favor, or rather, his help. Your father is sick, and the bills are piling up. As a last attempt, you hoped for Chan’s graciousness after 40 years of your father’s work for him. 

The door opening behind you causes you to turn around to face it. You hadn’t seen the leader up close in a while. The same as you remembered him. His undead state preserved his appearance. 

He took confident strides across the office to where his desk sat. The courage you had vanished. A dark aura surrounds Chan. Despite being a compassionate leader, he is an indisputable, powerful creature. You saw what his men could do with less strength. 

Now here you sat pestering him when he had more pressing matters to deal with. You planned to keep your conversation short and to the point of avoiding dragging out the situation. The longer you stay in the same room with him, the quicker you’ll fall apart from intimidation. Even knowing Chan since childhood, he still scared you and the last thing you wanted was to anger him. 

He sat down with a huff, giving all his attention to you. “I am sorry if I kept you waiting.”

“No, I wasn’t waiting long.” You shook your head as you sat down across from him. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”

“Of course. How is your father doing? I meant to check in. Unfortunately, I have been busy.”

“Sir, forgive me.” You clutched your hands in your lap, trying to hide your anxious trembling. The daunting image of your frail, sick father haunted you to the point you might cry. He needed your support now more than ever. “He’s not doing well. Felix believes there is better care outside the city. I don’t have the funds. I hoped you might help.”

Chan’s deadpan expression was impossible to read. Is he upset? Angry at the request? There was no shift in his tone when he spoke, either. “How much are you asking for?”

“Five thousand. I have done everything minus the business. I can not sell it. It’s providing for my family and it’s my home.”

“I am not a charity. Running a town to keep the humans here safe from what is outside those walls is my job. I can not just give every struggling family inside money.”

“I understand that, I do. But I also know how much good my father does for you and without him, it has hindered you and your newborns. If he recovers, he can—”

Chan had cut you off mid-sentence, his tone harsher. “So you are expecting me to just help you? What do I get?”

“Sir, I have nothing to offer you.” Your mind raced, searching for words to say. There were no other options left. You needed to convince him to help you. Your father didn’t deserve to die from not being able to accept the care he needed. “He has given you so much of his time. Not once disappointed you. I am asking you for the generosity of your heart.”

“What heart? I am undead.” Chan looked amused by your words as a smile appeared on his face. He sifted in his seat, hands now clasped together, resting in his lap. His piercing gaze is tearing you down by the second. Doubt filled you, telling you wouldn’t get any help here. All you wanted was to disappear. Let the ground open up and swallow you whole. Anything that was an escape from the moment right now. You perked up hearing him speak again. “You have something to offer me.”

 “I will give it to you. Just tell me what, and I will.” You said without hesitation. Not caring if you sounded eager.

“You have your blood. That’s what you can offer me.” You were uncertain of his meaning, taken aback by his words. Asking for clarification, feeling discouraged the longer he went on. “I’m sure you are aware of stock workers.”

Yes, you were indeed familiar with the job. There were people in town that dedicated their life supplying sustenance. The workers paid to be fed from. A decent amount of people will do such a job, but unsure if you could. Especially with the vampire leader himself. 

“I’ll give you the money. In return, you will provide for my hunger till I’ve decided the debt is paid.”

The offer conflicted you. Your father would benefit from the deal, even though Chan is asking for a lot. There were a bunch of questions flooding you at once. You lacked knowledge of how often he fed or what your body would go through trying to keep up with the demand. Deep down, you knew you would give anything for your father’s well-being. He fought this hard to survive and you would do the same for him. 

Despite the numbness coursing through you, your hand reached up from your lap to over the table towards Chan before you processed what you were doing. You needed to say yes now before you backed out. You could deal with the consequences later. All that mattered was gaining the funds. You forced yourself to look at Chan as he looked between your eyes and hand. He must know how nervous you were. Still, you kept your hand steady, wanting to show your dedication to the deal. 

His icy hand came over to grab yours to shake. “I’ll get the money to you by tonight. I’ll summon you when I need your work. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir. I do.”

Truthfully, you had no preparation for what was coming. It was too late now. Chan made good on his word. Roughly twelve hours later, he visited your home to hand you the gold. He wished your father luck with his health before leaving without another word. You appreciated the discretion from him. You kept the details of the meeting to yourself, not wanting the rest of your family to know. Regardless, the reassurance of the gold perked even your father up. Your uncle would leave with him in the morning to Rellbridge. A few days of travel for the higher chance of recovery. 

Monarchs: Blood Favor

While growing up, your family often took trips to the river outside the city. The river was wide, running cold even in the middle of the heat wave summer brought. A small patch of land sat in the middle of the river. Grass covered the stretch of land with a large tree sitting in the middle. 

Your older brothers often swam across to the island. All three of them were adventurous, risk takers, or foolish, as your mother said. You never went deeper than waist high into the water. The river was deceiving. Eerie peacefulness on the top with a sweeping current able to surprise anyone if not prepared. 

The boys loved the challenge. 

However, teenage boys can be cruel, teasing you about how scared you were, teasing how everyone else can swim across the small stretch with ease. You always wanted to prove them wrong. 

You practiced, grew as a swimmer overall. Determined to show not only were you capable, but willing to conquer your fear. Once you were ready, you swallowed down the uneasiness and took the risk. The rush was exhilarating. You had done what you considered impossible. Even beating two of your brothers. 

Thinking back on such events only motivates you today. As childish as it is, fear can’t run your life. The task is normal for many, so it's not a big deal. Stock workers provide blood every day. So can you. 

As you did before, you take a deep breath now and walk up the estate steps. 

The estate Chan owns is busy at all hours of the day. A true epicenter of the town. You could find several of the clan members here at various times. Besides them, a human city council was here in one wing of the estate. The group oversaw the town during the day, dealing with a majority of human affairs. Civil issues that didn’t require Chan’s attention. Either way, people are coming or going. 

When you made it inside, one of Chan’s staff greeted you. Thankfully, Chan had informed the staff earlier about your arrival.

“I can escort them.” Says a voice coming from behind you. A quick glimpse back revealed one of the younger leaders you knew as Seungmin. “Follow me.”

“Thank you for the help.”

“It’s not a problem.” Seungmin shrugged indifferently. “This house is a maze.”

The walk is quiet. You stay on Seungmin’s heels, avoiding several groups of people moving throughout the home. How Chan finds any peace here is surprising. 

Rounding a corner, Seungmin almost collided with Felix. “Oh Seungmin! I was looking for you. I need your help.”

“Let me drop this human off and I’ll come with you.” Seungmin half turns to you. “What’s your business, anyway?”

“Uh, an arrangement. I am to offer my blood.”

“I see. A blood favor.” Seungmin nods, continuing to lead you down the familiar hallway to Chan’s office. “You should be ecstatic. People beg to be in your position. Be thankful for this intimate opportunity. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that.”

You hesitated to respond. Felix seemed to pick up the uneasiness, giving a playful swat against Seungmin’s arm. “He is teasing you. Ignore him, we all do.”

“There is truth in my words.”

“Even if that may be, don’t scare the poor human.” Felix points to a nearby door. One you recognize from before. “It’s there. Go inside.”

After a quick word of thanks, you slipped past the heavy doors into the office. Chan is already at his desk this time, engrossed in a heap of papers. His hand scribbled with a pen over the stack. He doesn’t look up, only offering a word. “Yes?”

“I came as quickly as I could.” 

“Ah, forgive me,” says Chan, looking up for a moment. He stops writing, places the pen back in the holder, and collects the papers to tuck away in a desk drawer. “I must have lost track of time. Please, come closer.”

Anxiety twisted your stomach as you walked across the office. A quick wipe of your hands against your clothing couldn’t stop the nervous sweat from forming. 

In reality, you are safe. 

The safest place in the entire world, to be honest. Yet, the idea of an undead creature taking your life force for sustenance is jarring. Once again, you remind yourself how stock workers provide this service and have for years. They live full enjoyable lives; you tell yourself. You can do this. 

Perhaps Chan can read minds after all this time in existence. His first words on the matter are a question laced with concern. “Are you sure about this? Speak now if you have any hesitation.”

“Yes. I am here by free choice, and not by force. I swear.”

“If you are uncomfortable, please tell me. We’ll go back to the original arrangement. You can always pay the loan back. I’m sure friends of the family would help.”

“I don’t have the money.” You shake your head. Now is not the time to debate your decision, already having mustered up the strength to show up. Pushing the annoyance down, you plead with Chan. “Please, let’s just do this. I can close the debt sooner and it’s easier for all of us.”

“Alright. I don’t want you to feel this is your only choice.”

You stand your ground with your response. Chan doesn’t press the subject further. Instead pushes his chair backwards to create space between the desk and himself. He pats a knee, encouraging you to sit. Your eyes widen. He’s suggesting you sit on his lap? You may know each other well, but this is a wild request. 

Take a deep breath. The proximity is so he can feed. That’s all it is. There is nothing to worry about. 

With that in mind, you sit on his knees. 

Chan is breathtaking up close. He’s seen death, been through wars, lived hundreds of years, and yet no signs of aging. He remains as he was when turned. 

Your eyes meet his. They search yours, watching with curiosity, trying to read your face. The intimidation is still there even when he doesn’t mean it. You swear he can see through you. Straight down to your beating heart.

Can he see how it skips a beat? 

Unable to keep eye contact any longer, your gaze drops to his lips. Chan is undead, no blood runs through his system. Though even with paled skin, his lips still hold color. Still plush and inviting. It’s no secret that many find Chan handsome. Plenty of people in the city gossip about him, about his lips, and the cost they would pay for one kiss. Seungmin wasn’t wrong. You can name several friends who would envy such a moment up close. 

Chan’s voice stirs you from your thoughts. “Your heart is beating so fast.” 

Words remain trapped in his throat. What can you say? This was not what you expected. Most stock workers don’t elaborate on their work. Now Chan acts so casual with you on his lap. Even a hand on your thigh to keep you from slipping off. 

“What are you so afraid of?” He asks, voice low. “You’ve known me for years and I’ve never hurt you.”

All you can focus on is the hand on your thigh. His other hand sneaks around your frame to hold you to him. The contact causes goosebumps to form where he touches. He expects you to be calm? 

“It’s not you.” You attempt to keep your voice stable. “I’ve never been in such a position before.”

“With a vampire?”

“With anyone.”

“Well, that is something you don’t hear every day.” Your gaze immediately settles somewhere across the room. The playful tone in his voice causes you to regret the sudden confession. “Lucky for me to be your first.”

Mercifully, Chan doesn’t tease you more. Only asking for confirmation to continue one last time. Still, you don’t back down. You take another deep breath, ready to get this moment over with. 

The hand on your thigh moves, coming up to brush the hair away to expose your neck. You curse at yourself. You could have made his life easier by wearing it up or out of the way. Chan doesn’t appear bothered. “I’ll be as merciful as I can be. I’ll only take a moment. Try not to move too much.”

You tilt your head to the side, feeling his soft lips against your neck. A shaky sigh leaves you as his lips continue to ghost over the skin, searching, looking for a pulse. You didn’t expect the gentleness from Chan. Not from the creature who has single-handedly taken out a group of elite vampire hunters. 

The sharp pinch of his fangs sinking into the skin catches you off guard. You try your best to keep still as a board. I’ll only take a moment. The words echo in your head. A hand of yours grabs a fistful of his shirt to ground yourself. You fight every instinct to not to pull away from him. 

A small whimper slips past your lips, causing Chan’s grip to tighten around you, keeping you trapped against him. An occasional groan leaving him reverberates through his chest as he continues to feed. You let your eyes shut, waiting for him to finish. As time ticked on, you grew weaker. 

A ‘mere moment’ went on for an eternity.

At last Chan pulls away, hand reaching for a handkerchief out of his pocket to bring to the bite. Your hand replaced his, applying pressure to stop the bleeding. 

The gentle touch returned, guiding your head to rest on his shoulder. “Try not to move. Give yourself a moment.”

“Your touch is comforting.” You mumble out. “I didn’t expect that.”

“I may be undead, but I don’t lack sympathy.”

You tried to focus on his words. The gears in your brain are stuck in mud, sluggish while trying to process. The patterned rug in front of you spun. Your eyes trail over to the clock in the room. The hands were blurry. No matter how much you blinked to clear your vision, the dizziness grew. Closing your eyes provided some relief. Chan’s advice seemed reasonable. You were in no rush to move. The thought of walking seemed risky. 

It couldn’t have been more than a second. You don’t remember passing out. Only realizing what occurred when coming to. Your eyes flutter open, taking in the surroundings. You were in a bedroom of some sort. Thick dark curtains are drawn shut. The room is dim, only illuminated by a lamp on the nightstand by you. The eiderdown quilt covering you was soft under your fingers. Chan spared no expense on his belongings. 

Chan. 

The bite. 

The sound of him feeding off of you came back. 

Your fingers trailed up to your neck. The area is tender to the touch. Two small marks remained where his fangs pierced the skin. The wounds have scabbed over. 

Did he place you here? 

You smiled to yourself. How kind of him. There was a couch in his office. He could have left you there. Instead, he placed you in a bed, tucked under the blankets to stay warm. 

Speaking of the vampire, he came through the door across from you. “She awakens.”

“How long was I out?”

“Only an hour.” Chan saunters over. He sits on the edge of the bed, hand extended beside you to the nightstand where a glass bottle sits. “I had them prepare this for you.”

“What is it?”

“Beetroot juice. It will help you. Or so Felix tells me. He’s got more knowledge than I do.”

You accept the bottle from Chan. The juice is a dark plum color. The taste itself is earthy but bitter. Even with the added hint of honey, it’s not pleasant to consume. You sip with no rush to finish the juice. 

“Awful, I know.” Chan picks up on the distaste. “Visit the clinic when you can. Felix can test your blood. We have medication for those who are anemic. I believe they’re called Blaud’s pills. They’re common among a couple of our stock workers.”

“I’m sorry for all this inconvenience.”

“Oh nonsense. I’m sorry for the trouble I caused you. You did so good for me.”

The simple praise sends a wave of warmth through you. Good? For him? Your mind tries to run with his words. Heart fluttered at such a comment. You inwardly scold yourself for thinking his words mean anything more than generic friendliness. You try to squash your thoughts down.

“How often do you need me?”

“Not every day.” Chan let out a chuckle at your sigh of relief. “Every couple of days will suffice. We can make a schedule. To be fair to each of us.” Chan places a hand on your knee, thumb caressing you over the blanket. The smile he offers seems genuine. “Please rest as long as you need. It’s no trouble for me. Then go see Felix if you need to. He’s available.”

Monarchs: Blood Favor

The feedings become easier. Chan required less blood thanks to the schedule you decided on. He revealed he was grateful for the blood favor. Without the agreement, Chan would have continued feeding inconsistently.

The excuse? 

He was too busy to feed. 

There were bigger issues, he said. Chan argued he could manage his hunger. No one was in danger. He knew his body, and his limits from years of experience. 

Truthfully, that wasn’t your concern. Your heart sank. The one working so hard to keep his city running sacrificed himself. The creature stretched himself thin. Not feeding causes a handful of issues. From overall weakness to slowed healing times. 

Chan was okay with these risks? 

He’ll at least feed consistently for the duration of the deal. That’s better than nothing. Stubbornness to help will keep you coming to the scheduled appointments. Especially now the fear is gone. 

Despite that, there is a new growing problem. The attraction you have is getting stronger. You tried to let the feelings go. He’s just being kind. The concern he shows for you is normal. You are a human while he’s a vampire. It’s nothing more than that. The lingering touches aren’t happening. A figment of your imagination. There is no possibility that he…

The thoughts melt away when Chan hoists you higher onto his lap. His lips are inches from yours. The full, swollen lips haunting your dreams for the last week. The same lips muttered the familiar line of praise of how good you are for him. 

That damn praise will be the death of you. 

If the proximity doesn’t take you out first. 

Your gaze often finds his lips. Today is no different. Watching them move when asking about your well-being. The second time he repeats himself is when you can speak. “I’m sorry. Being lightheaded is making me delirious.”

His lips curl up into a smile, voice lower, and taunting you. Almost as if he can see right through you. “And what makes you think that?”

“I want to kiss you.”

Self control flies out the window when Chan gives you permission. There is no hesitation as you close the distance, slotting your lips against his for a brief, timid kiss. You cling to any part of him your fingers can reach. He’s not close enough to you. Even with your whole body curling to press against his. You want another. A million more if possible. Every dream of his kiss doesn’t compare to the real thing. From the sound of things, the desire appears to be mutual. 

“Again.” Chan says in a hoarse whisper. “I want another taste of you.”

Chan’s fingers find your chin, pulling your face closer to him. He takes the lead this time around. You attempt to match his energy. Lips sloppily trying to follow. A warm sensation pools in your gut. In this moment, only the two of you exist in this time and space.  

Your chest tightens when you pull away to breathe. Reality sinks in like gravity, yanking you back down from the clouds you floated away to. You kissed the town’s leader. He allowed you, then asked for more.

“I shouldn’t…” you say, eyes wide in panic. “I…” 

“What’s wrong?” Concern flashes over the vampire’s face. “Whatever is the matter?”

Your mind races. What have you done? You were here to supply blood. What do you do now? The only plausible solution is to move to another city and never show your face again. Not only did you kiss this man, but it was your first kiss. You just kissed a 300-year-old vampire. Not some average man in the city. No, you saved it for a heat of the moment with Chan of all people without a second thought.

“Please tell me what’s causing this distress.” The vampire moves into your line of sight. His arms are the only reason you don’t melt into a puddle on the floor. The hold tightens when you attempt to squirm away. “Talk to me.” 

“I don’t know why I did that. I’ve never…” As your words trail off, Chan encourages you to continue. “No one has kissed me till today. A woman in her twenties and never been kissed. Oh, you must think I’m so pathetic.”

“No,” Chan coos, continuing to reassure you. “Of course not. You’re young. Still figuring life out. There is no rush for these experiences.”

This creature doesn’t understand what door he is opening. The sweet words that are only going to feed your delusion. This must be a dream. You can’t fathom a reality where this is happening to you. Now he sits in front of you with a grin on his face as if he is proud the series of events occurred.

“I am dreaming. I have to be.”

“But you’re not.” Chan leans in closer, lips almost touching your own once more. “Can I have another from you? I quite enjoyed myself.”

The creature knows his way with words. To be expected with his age. Such an extended time on earth he’s bound to learn a few lines. Your thoughts dip negatively. He must think you are clueless. Most of your knowledge comes from gossip among your friends and a few late night self indulgent moments. You never felt close enough to someone to try anything until now. 

The leap into the unfamiliar territory is magnetic with Chan. You have the free will to stop, but you don’t want to. No, you long to see where this moment goes. 

You kiss the vampire again. His lips distract your worries. You focus on the way his tongue slips past your lips to deepen the kiss, how one of his thumbs rubs comforting circles against the back of your hand, and you stop fighting the growing desire flourishing inside of you. 

“Do you want us to continue? Tell me what you want.” Chan asks. The serious tone is back when you nod. He’s not accepting the action as an answer. “Say it or I won’t.”

“I want you to kiss me again and I want you to touch me.”

“Good girl.” He praises. “You must understand consent and communication are very important. How will I know? Or if you want it? I can’t read minds.”

“I understand.”

“Good. You can deny anyone and everyone. The priority is you and what you want.” Chan’s hand tugs on the hem of your shirt. “Can I unbutton your blouse?”

Once Chan hears a vocal response, his fingers move with precision, undoing every single button. He peels back the flimsy material to reveal the thin undergarment. Icy fingers brush over your breast with a featherlight touch. Your breathing hitches with the gentle squeeze. He kneads the soft flesh, causing your nipples to harden from the teasing.  

“But what about the door?” You squeak out, realizing you answered before thinking of the consequences. Your head whips around to glance at the unlocked door. “We’re in your office.”

“Don’t worry. These are private quarters. No one enters without permission. Staff know not to let anyone in while you’re here. I wanted you to have privacy during the feedings.”

Privacy? Chan genuinely cared about your comfort. He thought about everything. 

“How is this?” He asks. “Good?”

“Yes.” You answer. Uneasy to ask for more. “But can you?”

“Can I do what, baby? Do you need my hands somewhere else? Show me where.”

“Here.” You reach for his hand, leading him down to your parted thighs and against your clothed pussy. “I need you here.”

A quick shift of your hips lets you grind against his hand. The wetness makes your clothing stick to your folds. It’s rough yet not a painful friction. One that sends a zing of pleasure up your spine. Yes, this is what you need. The contact provides some relief. 

“Do you want me to show you the pleasure you’ve never felt? It’s okay to want it. Don’t be ashamed.”

“Please.” Your words come out a whine. “I…I’ll go crazy. It’s not a terrible pain, but I ache.”

“I know.” Chan stands up, arms holding you to him. Your limbs tighten around him, clinging to avoid being dropped. You might as well be a feather in his hold. There’s no struggle as he crosses the room to a half opened bedroom door. “Let me take care of your hunger for taking care of mine.”

A soft kick to the door with his foot reveals the same room you woke up in the first time he fed. He places you down in the middle of the bed, hands helping remove the layers of clothes you have. You expected to be eager for the first time being intimate with someone. Yes, your stomach flips with anticipation, but Chan provides a safe space. One where you don’t feel vulnerable being naked. 

“Can you take this off?” You say tugging on his shirt.

“Whatever you wish.” Chan nods, not hesitating to shed the shirt, letting it fall off the side of the bed. Saliva pools in your mouth at the sight. All the muscles hidden under his clothes are on display. Skin you desperately want to touch.  

The bed dips where Chan kneels on the bed. His callused hands are rough against your skin, running up and down your thighs. He lets you set the pace. When you are ready, you part your thighs. You chew on your bottom lip, trying to gauge his reaction. You were already wet when you crawled into his lap when you first arrived. Now you swear you are dripping down onto the bedding just from his hungry gaze. 

“Beautiful.” He mumbles. Chan starts at your knee. Lips placing soft kisses on your inner thighs moving higher. Your body buzzes with anticipation. The tingling sensation between your legs drives you mad. He knows you need relief, and he tortures you. He already proved how gentle he can be. Now you just want him to hurry and help. 

You couldn’t blink, afraid the beautiful sight in front of you would disappear. Or worse, another dream you would wake up from. Chan’s fingers ran over your slit experimentally. No set pattern. Just the soft, repeated action to let you get used to the sensation. Curiosity ate at you, wanting to know what it would feel like if his fingers slipped inside you. Maybe something else? Would Chan go that far if you allowed him? 

“Have you ever touched yourself like this?” Chan asks casually. His eyes are back on your face, waiting for the answer. “I ask only to know how slow I need to go.”

“Yes.” You moan, focusing on his fingers, finding your clit to circle. It’s distracting. Hard to focus on your words. “But I- Oh, it’s too embarrassing.”

“Tell me. I won’t laugh. Be honest with me.”

“I-I’ve grinded against a pillow.”

“Mmm, never thought I would be jealous of a pillow.” You groan, throwing an arm over your face to hide the embarrassment. Chan only chuckles in response. “I jest. I’m sorry.”

His fingers continue the methodical touch, earning him a few more soft moans from you. When you peek at him, he still has his eyes locked on you. “Would you like my finger? See how you like it?” Chan asks, well aware of your breath hitching at the suggestion. 

“Yes, please.” 

Cautiously, a finger dips inside of you. Experimental with the prodding, testing the waters of comfort. The sensation is indeed foreign, but not unpleasant. Not when knowing what pleasure is on the horizon. 

“You’re doing so good for me. Can I add another?” Chan rubs reassuring circles on the side of your hip with his other hand. You nod, relishing in this gentle side of him again. The side you never expected. Two weeks ago, you could panic talking to him and now you never could imagine cruelty from him. Especially when he speaks with praise. “You’re such a good girl. Look at you. Look how my fingers get sucked in.”

“Full. So full.”

“I have no doubts. Pretty hole of yours is greedy.”

A third finger slips in. Your hole stretches around the width, accepting more of him with ease. Even your body wants him with the same desire. All you can do is squirm in your spot. The familiar feeling of too much and not enough comes back. “Oh Chan! Please, that’s…”

“That’s what, baby girl? Tell me. Does it hurt?”

“No. I want more.”

“I already told you. Use your words.” He’s so calm, collected while you sit here falling apart on him. “Say it.”

“Can I have your cock?” The words are foreign to you. Words you never muttered to anyone. If someone else heard you, it would be embarrassing for you to say such things. At the moment, this is right, meant to be. “I wanna feel you.”

“Do you?” The amused grin is back on his face. A look of triumph. The creature wanted you to be a desperate mess in front of him. You realize the cocky bastard is teasing you. “Say please again.”

The word barely leaves your lips by the time Chan pulls away, eager to remove his remaining clothing. Seconds later he’s back on the bed, slotting himself between your legs. You are so exposed, but not a single ounce of fear. Not with Chan. 

His body is in your sight, trailing down the smooth expanse of his chest down to his hand where he strokes his cock absentmindedly. Your eyes widen in shock. “You won’t fit.”

“I assure you I can.” Chan chuckles while hovering over you. One hand rests by your head while the other lines the head of his cock against your wet pussy. He’s right there. The realization that Chan is the first to have you so intimately hits you. The soft, caring tone is back. “Breathe, just breathe for me. Remember, we’re in no rush.”

“Slowly, please.” “Of course. Tell me if it’s too much.” You only gasp when his cock slips into you. He stayed true to his word, taking his time as he inches deeper with shallow thrusts. The low guttural moan slips out of him. “Ah, so warm and tight.” 

Your desperate plea for a kiss is heard by the vampire, leaning down to capture your lips. As expected, everything he does is soft. This care, the touch, the push to allow you to enjoy the new experience at your own pace. Currently, you are the only other creature in this world besides him and he’s determined to show you the tenderness you deserve. 

“Let’s see if we can relax you.” Chan says while his fingers find your poor swollen clit again, still sensitive from earlier. 

“I feel,” Your hips squirm against the bed. “Oh I feel something.”

“Good.” Chan encourages. “Don’t fight it. Embrace it.”

As you always do, you trust Chan’s words, allowing your body to accept all his touches. An unfamiliar sensation hits you out of nowhere. Your wall clenches around his cock, core feeling a furious rush of pleasure spreading throughout our body. Its toe curling, powerful enough to drive your mind blank, replaced with a satisfying fuzziness. 

In a few seconds, the pleasure was gone as quickly as it arrived. The sound of his thrusts is louder now, with the wetness that formed. Chan can bury himself deep inside you now. Every inch of his cock inside your walls, moving back and forth, pulling almost all the way out to sink back to the hilt. The initial stretch subsides with your body getting used to his size. 

“There we go. Better?”

“Yes!” There is desperation in your voice when you speak. Arms wrapping around Chan’s neck to keep him close. “Please. I want it again. I want more.”

You can hear the smile on his face when he speaks. “You don’t even know what you are asking for.”

His kiss is hungry this time around, tongue slipping past your lips when you moan. Your own tongue is timid against his, unsure how to match his enthusiasm. Chan doesn’t appear bothered with your inexperience, rather enjoying every second. 

Chan pulls away, sitting back on his knees when you need air. His hands are on your hips once more, pulling you closer to him, eyes locked on your pussy. “You take my cock nicely. So gorgeous when I fuck you.”

No one has ever addressed you in such a brazen manner. Hell, you have never heard Chan speak this way to anyone. Yet something about how the vampire speaks with a face full of adoration makes you want to encourage him. Just as his words inspire thoughts you never thought you would say out loud.

“You’re so deep inside.” You gasp out, hand trailing down to your lower stomach. If you dared to look down, you swear you could see him. “I don’t want you to stop.”

Chan’s gaze darkens. Your words appear to have the same effect on him. He leans forward, muscular forearms keep you trapped underneath him. All you can do is cling to him as his pace quickens. There is a proud smile on his face as your nails dig into his flesh. 

His thrusts are relentless. Chan’s shaped like a man, but fucks like a beast with the way he doesn’t tire out, able to maintain the consistent pace, and forcing another orgasm out of you. Thoughts melt away other than the pleading for more. He may drive you insane with how effortlessly he can bring you pleasure in a matter of minutes. 

“I will ruin you in the best way possible.” Chan growls in your ear. “I swear, no one will ever compare. They will dream of the pleasure I can bring you.”

You believe him. 

Monarchs: Blood Favor

Chan is running late today. You sat in his office, watching the time tick by at an agonizingly slow pace. The clock across the room revealed two hours had gone by. You heard from the staff that he was out of town on his way back this morning, yet the sun had risen. 

You stayed unsure what to do. Most of the time, the wait minimal. Chan is a busy man, but he tried to make sure to not keep you waiting. He knew you had the business to keep operating. Today, a Saturday, you could handle a late opening. 

When Chan came through the office door, you could see the front of his shirt torn with several large gashes. The once white fabric now stained a dark red, undoubtedly blood. The material soaked, caked in enough that it was still wet. You have never witnessed Chan hurt anyone. Not even a bug. However, it didn’t mean he wasn’t capable. 

The leader froze, hearing you gasp. His face mirroring your shocked look. “I forgot I summoned you. It’s not human if that is your concern. A vampire’s blood.”

“What happened?”

“There was a vampire terrorizing cities.” Chan fumed as he crossed the distance to the fireplace. He aggressively ripped the shredded shirt off his body. Without a second thought, he tossed the remains in the flames. “I was tracking her for a while now, in case she neared us. I assumed the hunters would kill her, but she was clever. Slipped out of their grasp a few times now. She was foolish enough to come close.”

Your heart sank seeing his body. He survived a mauling. Large lacerations covered his broad back.

Vampires heal at a sped up rate. 

Yet Chan wasn’t. 

Your arms wrapped around your knees. You were unsure how to help. A million questions ran through your head. Should you offer your blood? Would yours be enough? Was he even in the mood? 

Chan’s fist slammed against the wood banister, causing you to flinch. “She threatened everything I have created!”

Cautiously, you unfolded your limbs. Pushing off the couch, it took only a few strides to close the distance. You placed a hand on his shoulder. Chan’s tense body relaxed under your touch.

“Come.” You muttered. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Chan turned, moving away. He headed straight for the connected bathroom. You followed, allowing the vampire to continue to vent. The annoyance radiated off, hotter than the sun. “We can coexist. We have for centuries, but there are a select few that will go to the ends of the earth to stop it. Human and vampire.”

Chan plugs the sink, running the hot water to fill the basin. The steam fogs up the mirror in front of you. You could barely make out how only your reflection showed up. He half turns to face you. “I hope you never have to run into either.”

“It’s a shame. You care for all of us without a second thought, and yet the church still thinks you’re an abomination.”

“They assume we keep you for livestock.”

“We’re not.” You huff. Anger courses through you. “We have freedom. No one holds us here.”

“I know. They say you need liberation.” Chan digs around the drawers near his sink. He pulls out a rag, which he aimlessly tosses into the water. His jaw is clenched tight. His fists rest on the counter. You worry he may break the counter out of rage. “The worst part about tonight? She wasn’t alone. She had a newborn. A young man, a boy. So young and lost.”

“What will happen to him?”

“He will stay. I will undo what she has taught him.” Chan let out a sigh, shutting off the water. “If you have other obligations, you may leave. I can find a stock worker.”

“No, I’ll stay.” You closed the distance between you two. Your hand reaches into the warm water, fingers brushing Chan’s fingers to take the rag from him. He turns to face you, leaning against the counter, watching you wring out the excess water before bringing it to his chest to wipe away the dried blood. 

“I can do it myself, you know?”

“I am aware. You always take care of us. Let me take care of you.” You peek up at Chan to see a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, amused by your words. You asked for clarification on his gaze. “What is it?”

“Those innocent eyes of yours are trouble for me.”

“I don’t follow.”

“Yes you do or you wouldn’t have waited for me this morning.”

“I waited because I am in debt to you.” You explain, hand still working to clean the last few spots of blood off his skin. “I respect you enough to work around your needs.”

Chan’s hand found yours to stop you. Smile gone, replaced with concern. “If you are uncomfortable with what happened between us, you must tell me. I want your honesty.”

“Uncomfortable, yes, but not for the reasons you are assuming.”

“Enlighten me.”

“I lack experience.” You shrug. “I’m a fool in front of you.”

“Then I will teach whatever you desire to learn if you wish.”

Your eyes find the floor, attempting to hide how flustered the suggestion makes you. All you want is more of Chan. To feel his hands on you again. For him to recreate that pleasure. You tried at home with your own touch. It wasn’t enough to bring back that rush of bliss no matter what you tried. You gave up in defeat, too frustrated at the lack of release.

Now the simplest touch had your body reacting, tingling with desire. One glance from him had your thighs pressing tight. You craved him. Anything to have his mouth, his hands, and his cock. Nearly going delirious with your desire for him. You were nearing hysterics. One night with him and you were losing self control. Ready to offer your entire body to him. 

He will entertain the idea. How could you turn down such a tempting offer?

Chan takes the rag from you, letting it fall back into the water. “Tell me, did you touch yourself at the thought of me?”

“I tried, but it wasn’t the same as you.” You shake your head, frustrated with the blank expression on the vampire’s face. “That look…You think I’m a fool. Or worse, pathetic.”

“No, never. It would honor me to be the one to show you the world of pleasure.”

“We shouldn’t talk about this now. You need to feed. You need to heal. That should be our priority.”

“I’m fine. Right now, I want you. I need you.” Chan reached for your hand, guided down to his crotch. He holds it against the hardened bulge. You gasp, surprised to learn how you affect him. The hand over yours tightens the grip. “See what you do to me? 300 years on this earth and one touch from you drives me to insanity.”

“Chan, I-“

Both of Chan’s hands cup your face now. “Tell me it happens to you. That you need me as much as I need you.”

Chan needs you. The familiar wetness forms between your thighs. All it takes is his words. Because you need him too. He’s the only one that can make you feel this good. The both of you are two sides of the same coin. Two minds heading the same direction, craving to be connected. 

“Yes, I do. I give you all of me.”

The room is hot, your skin warm to the touch, yet his hands and lips are ice. Every moment of contact burns, not in pain, but a shock to your system. Chan turns you to face away from him, his chest flush against your back. The eagerness in him causes Chan’s fingers to fumble with pulling the hem of your dress up. You giggle, trying to help without getting in his way. His hand travels between your legs. You can’t move, trapped against his body. Two fingers slip inside with ease, scissoring in movement to prep you for him.

“Now what’s this?” He questions. Your attempt to pull away only encourages him. “I thought you wanted my touch. Why try to escape it now?”

“Please! Just…” Your words trailed off with a frustrated groan. His fingers aren’t enough. You want his cock, want the stretch, and the fullness again. 

“Patience, babe.” He mumbles behind you. A soft nibble on your ear lobe causes you to sink further into his hold. You can hear the smile in his voice. “I will take my time with you. My reward for surviving the night.”

His fingers never faltered. In and out, working you open. The orgasm is unexpected when it hits. Your hands ached, clinging to the counter, needing to ground yourself. As well to keep you from falling because of your weak shaking knees. The lingering buzz of the orgasm fizzles out. 

You gasped as Chan’s fingers pulled out, gently circling your sensitive clit. Your hips shift away to ease the overstimulation. It’s no use, his fingers follow, keeping the attention on your clit. “Chan please. Enough of this teasing.” You whine, pressing your ass against him. He groans at the friction against his clothed cock. “Let me have you. Haven’t I earned it?”

“You will ride me. So I can watch your beautiful body. We’ve earned that today.”

Your response never makes it out of your mouth. Not when Chan stops touching you to guide you to the bedroom. Both of you haphazardly throw clothes across the room. The thin dress you wear almost tears off your frame out of excitement. 

Chan falls back in the bed with a huff, positioning himself in the middle, head resting on the pillows. You join soon after, knees on either side of his hips while your fingers work the length of his cock. Chan is the desperate one now, staring at you through half-lidded eyes. Breathy gasps and low groans from your teasing. He’s a work of art sprawled underneath you and for you alone. 

“I want to feel you deep inside me.” You say while shifting your hips forward. “I can’t wait a moment longer.”

Your hand guides Chan’s cock to your wet folds. His head tilts back, enjoying the wet warmth sheathing around him. Your eyes fluttered shut as you sank down onto Chan’s cock. Tiny, shaky breaths left you as stilled. The stretch is satisfying. You wanted to move, to savor the drag of his cock against your walls. Chan picked up on your eagerness as well, reminding you to be patient. Give your body time to adjust.

Slowly, you worked your hips up and down. Your hands rested on his chest for leverage. The familiar heat pulls into your gut. Even with this series of events happening so often, it’s delightful, as if for the first time. 

“There’s my good girl.” Chan grips your hips to help guide you up and down. “Nice and steady, baby. We don’t want you to tire out so soon, do we?”

“No,” you say between breaths, “I want to go as long as I can.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Something about the adoration on Chan’s face creates a warmth inside of you. He looks at you as if you are the only other being in this world. The sex you have together is something more. Perhaps your brain is teasing you with such an idea. There is no possibility of your town’s leader falling for you. The softness, the care for your wellbeing, and pet names he uses? It can’t be for nothing. 

Chan’s sudden words break you from your thoughts. “You’re thinking too much. Enjoy yourself.”

His eager fingers find your swollen clit, circling the bundle of nerves, causing you to clench around his cock. If you move, his fingers follow your movements, never breaking contact. He locked his eyes where you connect, watching his cock sink inside your wet hole. 

“Come on baby, don’t disappoint me. Give it to me.”

Your hips grind down, keeping Chan’s cock buried deep inside you. His fingers continue to tease your clit. The growing orgasm hits, pushing you over the edge. Pleasure rushes you, causing you to dig your nails into his chest. The last thing you see before closing your eyes is the satisfaction on Chan’s face. 

You pray he means it all. Hopefully, you are not just a play toy for the vampire, but something more. You want that reality. More than these sessions with him. Perhaps eventually you will have the courage to ask. Until then, you will enjoy every ounce of pleasure he brings to your body and you’ll soak up every praise that leaves his lips. 

Monarchs: Blood Favor

Chan is in a better mood today. Rather, a playful one when he finishes feeding. Less blood loss means the weakness that follows isn’t dreadful. He still lets you rest on him. To check on your well-being, fingers sneak to your sides to tickle you. Your giggling fills the office. 

“Such a sweet moment ruined by you!”

“Ruined?” Chan playfully mocks. “Providing enjoyment is what you mean.”

“Oh, you are trouble.” 

“Trouble? You are the one causing trouble, and I am just a poor fool caught in your web.” Chan shifts you in his lap, helping you slot your knees on either side of his hips. His hands anchor around you to hold you in place. The amused expression changes, darkens to the familiar one of lust. “You danced in my mind during my meeting this morning when I should have been listening.”

“What did you imagine?”

“You, right here.” Chan says while hoisting you up in one fluid motion, forcing you on your back onto the desk. Contents on the desk fell off the edge. Official documents crumple under you. Chan is unbothered, eyes roaming over your body. “Spread out all pretty for me.”

Panic runs through you as your hand bumps an inkwell resting in the corner. The small container topples over. Blank ink runs off the edge onto the rug below. A noise of shock leaves you concerned about the rug below. 

“Leave it.” Chan mumbles into your neck. “It’s fine.”

His lips are everywhere at once, kissing your lips, down your jaw, over the fading bite marks, to the sensitive places that cause you to cling to him. Chan thrives with your squirming, nowhere to go when his body keeps you pinned against the desk. All you can do is helplessly arch into him, hips shifting under him, to entice him to move on from his teasing. His touch becomes overwhelming, yet not enough at the same time. 

“Chan, teach me.” You gasp out. “Teach me how to be good for you.”

“Is that what you want?” He mumbles across your skin. Lips placing kisses across a collarbone. “Teach you how to be perfect for me?”

“Yes.” You nod, hands wandering over his shirt down to the front of his trousers. “Tell me how to touch you, how to touch myself, the best position to present myself to you. I want to know it all.”

“How can I resist you?” Chan pulls away to bunch the fabric of your skirt against your stomach in a rush. A low groan slips past his lips. You are bare, no undergarments this time around. “You did this for me?” He asks, relishing in the small nod you offer in response. “How naughty.”

“Makes it easier for both of us.”

Chan watches as his fingers slip inside you with ease. The wet sounds of his fingers working in and out fills your ears. His voice lowers. “I’m sure the thought of me kept you soaked all day. So damn desperate for me.”

“Yes. Always think about you, too.” You gasp, head falling back. Your heart pounds in your chest. There is no shame in being so exposed in front of him, only desire now that you are comfortable fooling around with Chan. “I-I couldn’t even focus on work.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

A knock at the door caused you both to freeze. Not once during your sessions has there been an interruption. Chan doesn’t pull away. Two fingers curl inside of you, pressing against the familiar gummy spot. You bite your lip to muffle the moans threatening to come out. 

The knock occurs again. This time, a voice comes from the other side. “Sir, I apologize. You’re needed upstairs. It’s urgent.”

Chan huffs in annoyance. He struggles, contemplating what to do. To help the decision, you offer reassurance by saying you wait. You staffed the store well today. The employees won’t miss you. 

“I’ll be gone for only a moment.” Chan says, pulling away. He brings both of fingers in his mouth to suck the remnants of your taste. He gives one last remark before moving towards the door. “When I get back, I want you on your hands and knees naked on that bed. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

Chan halts with his hand on the door handle. Your giggle breaks the playful glare he gives you. He leaves, shaking his head. A warmth of pride fills your chest. You may be weak at his praise, but the vampire is weak at the use of titles. A fun way you learned to even the playing field. 

Hopefully, using the title earns a fun reward. 

Monarchs: Blood Favor

There is someone else in Chan’s office when you come in tonight. A vampire. One you have never seen before. Chan motions you closer when sensing your hesitation. 

Elegance is the first word that comes to mind when you see the vampire up close. His posture is straight as a board while he sits. The suit on his thin, lanky frame is pristine, not a wrinkle anywhere. It’s sinful how beautiful this vampire is. Sharp features paired with big doe eyes that briefly glance over at you. His voice is soothing when he speaks to Chan. It’s not uncommon for outsiders to visit town. This is the first time you have seen another vampire that isn’t one of Chan’s creations. 

Chan grins when you come over to him. “This is Seonghwa. He is our neighbor. An elder of Hongjoong’s coven.”

“Hello,” you mumble shyly before turning to Chan. “I can come back later when you are free.”

“Nonsense. Stay with me. We won’t be long. He has another meeting with Jisung after this.” 

You want nothing more to sink into Chan’s embrace. Though the two of you are not open about the relationship you have. If it even is a relationship. That’s another reason you are here. To ask for clarification. If this is still just business to your leader or if it’s something more. 

The arm snaking around your waist to pull you into his lap reassures you. Chan wants you here, besides him. He’s willing to show you off in front of another coven leader. If you meant nothing, this public affection wouldn’t happen. 

Chan goes on with the conversation. “It’s true though. I killed her.”

“An ancient one? I’m impressed, Chan. Years of the church hunting her and you destroy her in one night.”

“I had too. Hongjoong would do the same. I told him I would take care of her. He needed to deal with that hunter infestation.” 

“An inconvenience.” A sigh left the other vampire. “But under control.” 

“Seonghwa, you understand that Hongjoong’s ways are not practiced here. Fewer eyes are on us. It’s why you see so many hunters.”

The other vampire rolls his eyes. “No, we have hunters because we are closer to the coast.” 

“Even more reason not to attract attention. He’s set in his ways, I know, but you must break some of his habits. Before it gets worse.”

“So you let your humans suffer?”

“We are careful. No, selective is a better word.” Chan leans forward to pick up a small glass container sitting in the middle of his desk. “If this works as well as you say, then even better for us.”

“Try it.” Seonghwa suggests. “Works on old and fresh wounds.” 

The smell of floral hits your nose when the jar is opened. Chan dips a finger into the dark salve, pulling out a small amount. You lean away from his approaching finger. There are a million concerns. The most prominent being the lack of knowledge of what ingredients are in the foreign substance. 

“It’s safe. A medicine to help the pain.” Chan’s voice is soft when he speaks. He waits to see if you continue to protest. You relax in his hold, tilting your head to the side to expose the freshest bite. 

The tension in your body melts the second the salve comes in contact with the bite. All the remaining pain dissipates. You can release the breath you were holding thanks to the relief. 

“See, always trust me.” Chan offers a reassuring smile. He allows you to take the jar to examine, already returning to his conversation with Seonghwa. “The compelling isn’t helping either. It can wear off.”

“Compulsion is not used often. An old practice. Not practical. Only used for interrogation.”

“All I ask of you is to be careful.” Chan heaves a sigh. “Onto other news, I heard Felix accepted the apprentice.”

“Yes.” Seonghwa smiles wide, fond of the person they discuss. “I think she can do a lot of good with proper training. My background lacks modern medicine. She’s eager to learn.”

You tune out the conversation. The topics are of no real importance to you. Nor is it any of your business. Truth be told, Chan was distracting you. The hand wrapped around you wanders under the hem of your blouse so the pads of his fingertips found a sliver of bare skin on your side. The soft, mindless caressing was feather light. Every brush sent a tingle through you. Such a harmless action. Though one that ignites something inside you. 

Eventually, Seonghwa stands from his seat, pulling on his jacket. “Thank you Chan. Now excuse me, Jisung is waiting. I don’t think I’ll be much help, but I will tell him what I know. I will take your advice and talk to Hongjoong as well.”

“If anyone can convince him, it’s you. He listens to you.”

“He does on occasion. The benefit of being his partner.” Seonghwa’s gaze turns to you. He points at the jar. “Please use the salve when the pain starts. It will help.”

Without another word, Seonghwa leaves. The office door shuts as the two of you remain in silence for a few minutes. Chan’s touch doesn’t stop. The question you wanted to ask is on the tip of your tongue. All you have to do is say it. Then you will finally have your answer. You can stop stressing over it. 

“What is troubling you? Hm?” Chan questions with concern. His other hand finds your chin to turn your face towards his. “I figured you were nervous because of Seonghwa, but your heart still beats so fast.”

You search Chan’s eyes. How could you ever have feared this man? Surreal how the short time has changed your entire outlook on him. Now, his charm has entrapped you. Stuck in love, desperate to know if it’s mutual. Perhaps he can shatter your delusion lightly. He’s been consistent with his kindness with you. 

You swallow the lump in your throat before mustering the courage to speak. “I can not fall in love with you.”

“Why not? Am I not worthy of your love?”

“No, the opposite.”

“You should never say such things.”

“You can have anyone. Why a woman with a silly crush?”

“Because she cares for me.” Chan’s hand brushed the hair away from your face. “She sees me at my lows and still wants to ease the burden. One of the few that makes me realize I’m cared for.”

It’s an honest answer. Straight from the source. An answer you didn’t expect. You spent so much time doubting the possibility his feelings were genuine, you never expected this as a reality. Butterflies swarm in your stomach. Any words you have for a response twist your tongue, keeping you silent. 

“If you wish to end this, I won’t stop you. The choice is always yours to make. I ask, for me, to consider waiting a little longer. A chance to let us flourish.”

“No!” you cry out, stomach lurching in panic. The outcry causes Chan to chuckle. Your words come out in a rush. “I want to continue. It scared me to bring it up.”

“Such a silly human.” He places a kiss on your forehead, following his words. Another on the tip of your nose. A final one on your lips. “Stop being afraid to tell me how you feel. I thought we were over this.”

Chan shushes your protest with another kiss, distracting you from your thoughts. There is no fight for dominance when the kiss deepens. Only a soft push and pull from not being close enough. He leaves you breathless every time. 

Chan is the one to pull away, knowing you won’t. The corners of his mouth curl up. He relishes in satisfaction knowing he’s the cause for the longing consuming every fiber in your being. 

“I hear your father is making a wonderful recovery.”

“He is, thanks to you.” You wrap your arms around his neck. “He’s excited to come home, to go back to work. The happiest he’s been in years. We wish to pay you back.”

“It’s unnecessary. You already paid the debt.” Chan shakes his head. “Your family owes me nothing.”

“But you don’t run a charity, your words.”

“A leader is only as strong as his people. I have to put their care first.” The corners of his lips turn down towards the floor. Remorse heavy in his voice. “I often say things in the heat of stress and regret it afterwards. Something I’ve always struggled with.”

“But you still helped.” You respond, not missing a beat. A hand of yours ghosts over his chest. “You have a good heart. Yours may not beat, but that doesn’t mean you lack one.”

Chan nods, staying silent. Your brows knit together in confusion. Something else appears to be on his mind. It’s unusual to see him struggling to find words. You encourage him to speak. 

“Changbin’s birthday is coming up. The town is celebrating.” Chan clears his throat, now speaking with more confidence. You can’t help but smile at the nervousness he has over a simple question. Over 300 years on this earth and he can still get flustered. “I want you by my side. Would you be interested in being in my company for the party?”

“I’d feel honored to go with you, but I’ll need to find something to wear.”

“I won’t protest you being naked.” Chan mumbles while nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. His soft lips brush over the familiar sensitive spot. He nearly distracts you from his words. You smack his arm lightly, earning you a nip in the skin of your neck in retaliation. Chan pulls back with a smile. “You are too easy to tease. I’ll contact a seamstress. I’ll have them make you something for the event. How’s that?”

“Better. Do I have to earn it?”

“I can think of an arrangement.”

Your eyes roll in response. Chan’s playful mood is a welcome addition. You hope it stays a while. He deserves happiness. He deserves these moments of peace after the chaos being a leader brings. Your heart swells with love, knowing you can provide this space for him. He can tune the rest of the world out and collect himself. You want nothing more for him and you plan to continue showering him with affection. For as long as you can.

Monarchs: Blood Favor

Series Masterlist

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