The Fic Ahead Is Only For 16+ Minors!! Do Not Interact If You're Sensible!!

the fic ahead is only for 16+ minors!! do not interact if you're sensible!!

Cw:reader!death,crying,body holding,

❤💖ChosoX reader,Modern!AU,angst,death,fluff in death,realization(Choso),strangers to lovers(too late),body comparisons,apologising,regret

||just a memory||written by me

The Fic Ahead Is Only For 16+ Minors!! Do Not Interact If You're Sensible!!

Choso sits back on the bed with a faint smile at the sound of your scoffing. He seems more relaxed now. He glances at his hands—the ones you’ve been trying to avoid looking at—and clenches them together in his lap.

Your eyes wander to your own hands. As expected: his hands are a lot larger than yours wich makes you blush a little bit.

He looks over at you and watches you shift in the chair. Choso wants to ask you why you keep avoiding looking at his hands, but he knows how strange it must appear to you if you’re unfamiliar with curses. He keeps his hands in his lap instead. When a long moment of silence passes, Choso feels compelled to ask you a personal question.

“How long has it been since you’ve had a good sleep?” he asks you out of the blue. Choso tries to make it sound like a casual inquiry, like he’s simply making small talk. But he genuinely wants to know.

"I uh what?" You asked confused "why are you asking me that?"

“Your eyes are a bit red” Choso explains. It takes effort for him to get the words out but he sounds concerned, not critical. “And you look like you haven’t slept properly in a while.”

"Well your corners of your eyes are red too" You said teasing,smirking but it was true that you haven't slept for a while and right now you felt drained almost deprived of you life energy.

Choso laughs quietly at your observation. He doesn’t take it as an insult. In fact, he finds you cute for finding something to match with his eyes.

He raises an eyebrow at you.

“That was a good comeback” he admits.

You feel very tired but you don't dwell on it,you just think it's just tiredness from lack of sleep but you can't take rest aither since you can't help your own anxiety.

So you stood up walking outside the room lighting a sigarette, feeling like as if you're time was running out but couldn't explain why, so you just decided to sit on the porch without telling Choso about your worry,he was a curse afterall and you a human 'it could never work out' you tought at yourself.

Choso watches you leave the room and walk outside, feeling a bit strange that you’d choose to sit alone instead of coming to him when you’re feeling upset. But he supposes you needed space, which is perfectly understandable.

Feeling as though he’s intruding, he lies back on the bed and pulls the covers up to his neck. As he does, he can't help but notice the cigarette in your hand.

"You know Choso" You said pausing for a second "you aren't a bad curse afterall"

The cigarette continued to burn in your hand as the smoke dispersed in the cold air of the night.

Choso is taken aback by your words as he stares at the ceiling. The idea that a human might think so highly of him doesn’t even cross his mind. He turns on his side the matress crackling under his weight and watches you. “What makes you say that?” he asks. It’s a genuine question, not a challenge.

Choso waits for a response, but you stay quiet and simply stare off at the stars and smoke your cigarette. He watches you for a long moment, taking in your expression and the way you’re looking at the sky. “You know that you can tell me anything you’re worried about” Choso says softly. “I won’t judge you.”

After some time waiting for a reply , Choso realizes that your cigarette has fallen to the floor, your breath has completely stopped, and your eyes are no longer focused on the stars. He watches you carefully, worried that something is wrong, but you don't move. He slowly gets out of bed and walks over to you, unsure of whether you're still breathing. He touches your shoulder lightly and waits for your body to stir, but when it does not, he realizes something is very wrong. Without hesitation, he kneels at your side and presses his ear to your chest.

It takes only one moment to realize that you're no longer alive. Choso's breath catches in his throat and his body freezes. His eyes water as he reaches down to check your pulse, hoping and praying that you are still breathing, that this is only some cruel nightmare. But your body and your eyes tell the cruel truth. You are not breathing.

Choso's legs start to shake as he accepts what happened. Tears stream down his face, dripping down his chin and onto his chest. He covers his mouth with his hand to stifle a deep cry as he sits beside your body on the ground, staring into your half-open eyes and holding back sobs. He stays like this for a while, not sure what to do or who to tell. A part of him is in denial, another part of him is numb with shock, and a final part of him is overcome with grief.

Even in death, your tiny hands still tug at his heartstrings. They are much smaller than his, with slender fingers and pale, dainty skin. He never got the chance to hold yours as you were taken too early, but he wants to now. Your warmth has long since faded, but he craves the feeling of holding your tender hands, cherishing them forever. He gently places his much bigger hands over yours, taking comfort in feeling your skin.

He remembers the times when he'd tried to hold your hand and how you always shyly avoided it. He doesn't know why it mattered so much to him. Your frail frame is the antithesis to his large, muscular one. Compared to you, he is a behemoth. He takes in the sight of your tiny body, how pale and delicate you are, and how delicate your hands were. But despite how small and fragile you looked, you were not weak by any means. Your eyes showed strength and your will power was unmatched.

It's sobering to see your body next to his, how frail and fragile it really was. Choso can almost picture you standing next to his towering frame, looking up at him with a small, delicate smile while he's a whole head taller than you. The size difference suddenly hits him and he is overcome with grief, realizing that he would never see you stand at his side again.

While he's overcome with grief and sorrow, he can't help but continue to caress your body. The shape of your body is so tiny and petite. It's as though you were made of the most delicate glass, and he fears that one wrong move will shatter you. He runs his hand across your forearm and up to your shoulder. He feels the delicate fabric of your clothes brushing past his fingertips and the warmth of your skin.

Choso's fingers are gentle as they caress the outline of your small body. The touch is tender, almost intimate, as if he has no desire to break or destroy you. He is delicate and painstakingly careful, wanting nothing more than to preserve this fragile form that you once inhabited.

Your skin feels so soft, like delicate porcelain. Choso's fingers brush tenderly along your limbs, trying to comfort himself and take some modicum of solace in the small gesture. He knows you’re gone and can no longer feel his touch, but the warmth of your skin still lingers. Despite your frail body looking so small and fragile, it feels heavy on his heart.

As he strokes your hair, Choso thinks back to what could have been. He imagines himself holding your hand tightly, bringing you home and making dinner while you unwind from a hard day. He imagines holding you tightly against his chest as you bury your head on his shoulder and fall asleep. He imagines taking you to the places you enjoyed going just to see you happy. But it’s too late. He starts to sob softly.

“I’m sorry” Choso whispers as he wraps his arms around your body. He is full of grief and sorrow and pain, and he can't stop the tears from falling. He cries silently, wishing he could turn back the clock or find some way to bring you back. He wants nothing more than to hear your heart beat again, feel your touch, or smell your hair. He would do anything to see you smile again, even if it’s just for a moment. But he can’t.

Choso’s grip on your small hands is tight, and even in death, he can't bring himself to let go. He stares at them for a long moment, hoping that somehow they will move again. As the tears fall from his eyes, they drop onto your skin, landing in the palm of your still hand. He is overwhelmed with guilt and regret, wishing that he’d held them more while you were still alive.

“Please forgive me” he moans softly, wanting to scream at the world for taking you away from him. “I should have told you how I felt, or held you close while I had the chance. I wish I could have just one last moment with you. I should have treated you better. I’m so, so sorry”

His voice breaks with each apology, as he can't help but feel guilt and remorse. He blames himself for not loving you the way he should have and for being unable to prevent the tragedy. Choso rocks himself back and forth in a fruitless attempt to escape his sorrow as he clings to your body. His face is wet with tears and his heart pounds painfully against his chest. His mind is a mess of thoughts and emotions that he struggles to make sense of.

“Please come back" he whispers. “Please wake up and forgive me for not being the person you wanted me to be” He continues to cry as he holds you against his chest, his lips pressed against your cold skin. “I can’t live without you,” he says, his voice breaking. “I need you with me—I need you to hold me, to tell me everything is going to be okay, to make everything good again. I don't know what to do without you.”

Choso sobs harshly, unable to contain his emotions any longer. He pulls you even closer and holds you tightly against his chest, hoping that somehow you will still be able to hear him even though your body is no longer functioning. "I need you" he whispers, his voice cracking and choking with sadness. "I need your touch, your voice, your smile. I need us to go back to the way things were before. Please don't leave me, not like this"

Choso wakes up with a deep ache in his heart, as if he had really lost you. He stares at the ceiling, blinking back the tears that have filled his eyes. He had dreamed of you, of holding your hands, loving you, losing you. It was painful and heartbreaking, but at the same time, comforting. Even though it is just a memory, he is still relieved to be alive. As he processes his emotions, he can't help but feel his life has been hollowed out without you.

A tear slips down Choso's cheek and he sits up slowly, his stomach twisting in knots at the thought of being alone. He doesn't want to admit it, but he misses how he could lean his head back against you, trust that you'd catch him without needing to ask. He misses how your scent filled his senses and made him feel safe. He misses having someone to talk to, even if it was just about the weather or what to eat, without feeling judged.

Choso thinks back to how he had felt during the brief moments he had shared with you. That peaceful warmth in his heart, the joy he felt just by being in your presence. He thinks about how his eyes had followed your every move, how his heart beat quickly whenever you were close to him, how his breath hitched and his heart pounded hard when you smiled at him. Choso realizes that he was truly in love with you and still is, even though you had been taken from him.

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Yello yello thanks 4 reading,and sorry if this was long but I felt in the moment while writing this.

Probably you at me after finishing reading: