Incredible, I Love How You Can Correlate The Ups And Downs Ichigo Has Hollow Zangetsu With These Kleshas.

Incredible, I love how you can correlate the ups and downs Ichigo has Hollow Zangetsu with these kleshas.

Zangetsu, you’re making it sound like that’s a bad thing.

But the fear of becoming a raging monster…is a perfectly reasonable and healthy fear. We should all have such a fear!

These Sternritter posts are legit comedy gold istg

If the Sternritter had to live in Ichigo’s closet...

As requested by anon. :)

Previously we considered what would happen if some shinigami or the espada decided to live in Ichigo’s closet. Now it is the Quincy’s turn! If they, for some unfathomable reason, found themselves crashing in Ichigo’s closet, how would that go?

1. BG9: Treats it like a sleepover

BG9: So…what’s your favorite color?

Ichigo: For the last time, go to sleep!

BG9: But you said no tentacles! How am I supposed to get data without tentacles AND while being quiet?

Ichigo: This is not DATA time, this is SLEEP time!

BG9: This is the worst sleepover ever.

Ichigo: THIS ISN’T A SLEEPOVER

2. Gremmy: Shapes the closet to his will

Ichigo: Hey, I’m gonna go out for a while. You okay?

Gremmy: Oh, I am more than okay!

Gremmy: BEHOLD!

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: DID YOU TURN MY CLOSET INTO AN AMUSEMENT PARK???

Gremmy: It’s not my fault your wifi kinda sucks.

3. Giselle: Won’t stop trying to turn Ichigo into a zombie

Giselle: Whoopsie! I cut my finger on a clothes hanger!

Giselle: Go get my a bandaid, Kurosaki!

Ichigo (reading manga in bed): I’m not going near your blood, Giselle.

Giselle: That’s fair.

Giselle: …

Giselle: Want some tomato juice?

Ichigo: CUT IT OUT

4. Quilge: Keeps trying to trap Ichigo in the closet

Ichigo: Let’s see, I think I’ll wear my Nice Vibe shirt today.

Ichigo: Now I’ll - 

Ichigo: What the hell?

Ichigo: Why is the closet closed behind me?

Ichigo: [slides closet open]

Quilge: Congratulations, Kurosaki Ichigo! I cannot believe you escaped my Jail!

Ichigo: It’s not hard to open a closet from the inside.

Quilge: Not hard to get out of a ball either, but -

Ichigo: You don’t have to bring that up every three seconds!!

5. Cang Du: Is stoic about closet-living

Ichigo: Sorry my closet is kinda small for a tall guy. You okay?

Cang Du: I am fine.

Ichigo: Sorry that the only pajamas I had are the ones Chad left which have baby bunnies on them.

Cang Du: It is fine.

Ichigo: Sorry that Kon is currently clinging to your head for some reason.

Cang Du: It is fine.

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: So if my clothes get wrinkly can I have you iron them, or…?

Cang Du: You cannot get a rise out of me that easily.

Ichigo: Man, you’re good!

6. Bazz-B: Tries too hard

Bazz-B: Cool shirt, man!

Bazz-B: This shirt is cool too!

Bazz-B: This shirt is Abarai’s eyebrows level of cool!

Ichigo: …why are you looking at all of my shirts and complimenting them?

Bazz-B: Abarai told me you only fight your friends. So I’m becoming your friend.

Ichigo: The fighting comes before the friendship. Not after.

Bazz-B: Oh.

Bazz-B: In that case…

Ichigo: NO

7. Liltotto: Won’t stop eating

Ichigo: Hey, where’s my favorite shirt? The one that’s too small and shows my belly but it’s okay because I wear another shirt under it?

Liltotto: I ate it.

Liltotto: And all of your ugly clothes.

Liltotto: You’re welcome.

Ichigo: W-what??

Liltotto: Your taste in clothes is worse than Bambi’s taste in men, to be honest.

Ichigo: IF YOU WANTED A SNACK YOU COULD HAVE ASKED

8. Bambietta: Keeps inviting Ichigo in

Bambietta: I can’t sleep in this stupid ugly closet, Kurosaki!

Bambietta: Wanna…join me? 

Ichigo: No thanks.

Kon: I’LL JOIN YOU!!!!!!

Ichigo: KON NO

9. Candice: Doesn’t seem to like the closet

Candice: Sleeping in your STUPID CLOSET has RUINED MY HAIR!

Candice: NOW YOU DIE!!!!!!!!

Ichigo: Candice it’s five in the morning can we please do this later?

Candice: NO

10. Askin: Installs a cappuccino maker 

Ichigo: [opens closet]

Askin: Fresh coffee?

Ichigo: [closes closet]

11. Ishida: Tries to be helpful

Ishida: Look, Kurosaki! I added capes to ALL of your shirts!

Ishida: Now everybody will know about your Quincy heritage!

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: You also appear to have bleached them all white.

Ishida: Yeah, it’s shocking how much color you had in your clothes!

Ishida: Quincy wear WHITE clothes!

Ichigo: IS THIS WHY I SMELLED BLEACH ALL NIGHT???

12. As Nodt: Treats it like a sleepover

As Nodt: So……….what would you say is your deepest and darkest fear?

As Nodt: Mine is death.

As Nodt: Death is scary.

As Nodt: But you feel more like a “lives while all his friends die” sort of guy.

As Nodt: Spot on or nah?

Ichigo: …I am so done letting people stay here.

I would love to see a fic on this.

What if Renji were the one who initially gave Ichigo his powers?

As requested by our-flame-never-goes-out. :)

Of course, it was Rukia who, in canon Bleach, gave Ichigo his original powers and then trained him in the ways of being a shinigami. But what if it were Renji who was sent to Karakura Town on a supposedly routine assignment, only to find himself losing his powers to some weird human? How would Bleach be different then? 

1. Renji would sacrifice his powers out of “weird-hair solidarity.”

In canon, Rukia’s motivation for giving Ichigo her powers was based partly on not wanting a family of humans to die, but mostly on the fact that Ichigo just looked so much like Kaien. But in this new reality, Renji’s motivation would be based largely on the fact that Ichigo has weird hair, just like him.

(later)

Byakuya: Renji….I understand.

Byakuya: This boy….has weird orange hair that reminds you of your own weird red hair.

Ichigo (bleeding on the ground): THAT was your motivation??

Renji: Hey! Don’t judge me!

2. Renji would follow Ichigo to school (in terrible clothes).

Like Rukia, Renji would stalk Ichigo until Ichigo agreed to be a shinigami. Unlike Rukia, though, Renji would show off his penchant for, just, really terrible clothing.

Renji: Yo.

Ichigo: WE HAVE A UNIFORM HERE, MAN!

Ichigo: Also what are you doing here?

Renji: Being a lot cooler than you, to be honest.

Ichigo: That is just not true.

3. Renji would sleep under Ichigo’s bed.

Unable to fit in Ichigo’s closet due to being giant, Renji would instead just sleep under Ichigo’s bed.

[hollow warning sound]

Ichigo: Where the hell is that noise coming from?

Renji (appearing suddenly from beneath the bed): Ichigo, let’s go!

Ichigo: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN UNDER MY BED?!

4. Renji would still do chores for Urahara.

After all, like Rukia, Renji would need help with his mysterious “powers not coming back” affliction. And so would buy stuff from Urahara’s shop.

Urahara: All right! Your total comes to….sweeping my shop!

Renji: …or I could pay with money?

Urahara: No, that doesn’t feel right.

5. Chad and Renji would send a hollow to hell together.

I bring this up only because I want you to imagine - really imagine - Chad picking Renji up, and throwing him into the air to fight the hollow.

Renji: You are freakishly strong.

Chad: You just watched me swing a telephone pole like a baseball bat.

Chad: This surprises you?

6. Eventually, Byakuya and Rukia would come to arrest him.

I have decided that in this universe, Renji and Rukia have basically switched places: Rukia is the lieutenant of Squad 6, and Renji is an unseated officer. He’s also in Squad 6, though, because Renji still secretly wants to beat Byakuya. Naturally enough, when it comes time for Renji to get arrested, his childhood friend and the super scary captain he admires from afar come for him.

Rukia: Abarai! Abarai Renji!

Renji: K-Kuchiki Rukia, is that you?

Rukia: …

Rukia: You know, it hasn’t been *that* long since we were in school together. Why are we being so formal?

Renji: Well, from my side it’s mostly because of the scary, murderous look you have on your face.

Rukia: That’s fair.

7. Ichigo’s first big fight would be against Rukia.

And he’d nearly lose, too. Because in this universe, Rukia never hesitates to use her shikai.

Ichigo: Ice powers? Do all of you shinigami have elemental powers?

Rukia: How ignorant you are, fool!

Rukia: You don’t even know that my brother, a famous captain, has flower petal powers!

Ichigo: Flowers are basically an element.

Rukia: FLOWERS ARE SO NOT AN ELEMENT

8. In jail, Renji would mostly be sad about losing Rukia.

He just can’t get over how depressing his life became after he and Rukia went to shinigami school. First he ended up in the remedial class while Rukia went to the top, then she got adopted by some hot-shot captain, and then she became lieutenant. And Renji ended up as some unseated officer. It’s no wonder he’s about to be executed, he thinks.

Renji: Maybe if I had trained harder.

Renji: Maybe if I had practiced kido more.

Renji: I just got so tired of blowing myself up!!

9. But Rukia would defect to save Renji.

After her epic fight with Ichigo and 20 minute flashback, I mean.

Rukia: Ichigo, I am on my knees begging you! You have to save Renji!

Rukia: Because sure, he may be a big dumb idiot sometimes, but he is MY big dumb idiot!

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: Man. We’re both so shippy with that guy.

Ichigo: Is this an OT3 sort of situation, do you think?

Rukia: FOCUS

10. Rukia would have to fight Byakuya.

She’d meet Ichigo during his training for bankai, let him know that Renji’s execution has been moved up, and then go off to fight her captain and brother, Byakuya.

Byakuya: Rukia….are you really going to fight me, your brother, in order to defend a scruffy peasant?

Rukia: If I have to, yes!

Byakuya: Respect.

Rukia: What?

Byakuya: I mean I will never let you get away with this.

11. Ichigo would rescue Renji at the very last second.

And then do his best to strike a cool pose on top of the scaffolding…while holding Renji.

Renji: PUT ME DOWN

Ichigo: Dude, I carry a sword bigger than me. I’ve got this.

Renji: THAT ISN’T REALLY THE POINT

12. And would then throw Renji directly at Rukia.

This would not work as well as the opposite did in canon.

Rukia: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU FOOL?!

Renji: OH MY GOD I’M ABOUT TO KILL RUKIA

Ichigo: Wait, why did I think Rukia could catch Renji?

Ichigo: Oh well I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Finally, someone articulates the whole dynamic of Renji's soul in early Bleach and how that would have led to an incomplete Bankai with the rushed training. Plus, there's also the way he honed himself solely to fight Byakuya, but ended up having a snake based Bankai that was missing Zabimaru's baboon motif until TYBW.

in before i see any hot takes on zabimaru being a prick for holding out on renji: they didn't. they gave him half a bankai when he needed one, even though he wasn't ready. they gave him a half-bankai he could face byakuya with, a half-bankai that gave him the courage to turn his back on forty years of being a good soldier because it was all for rukia anyway. zabimaru said "jump in the ocean, renji, we'll learn to swim as we go" and if my man has taken a lot of L's over the years, it's because he's literally learning on the job what every captain in the gotei has had years to practice and perfect.

Good questions tbh

They said they used Reishi to create space in the Seireitei's shadows, and everything in the Soul Society is made of Reishi, so I guess that whole Shadow realm was literally part of the Soul Society's composition like it's other half. Plus, couldn't Quincy hide their reiatsu like Shinigami do?

Hueco Mundo still has tons of Hollows in it that would come and go from the World of Living to Hueco Mundo. Hollows would go after the Quincy there and get killed, which would be troublesome, possibly alerting the SS if the balance of souls gets tilted. It also gets rid of the territorial advantage the Quincy had by staying in the Soul Society's shadows and avoiding the "Soul Shield Membrane" which vaporizes Reishi. https://bleach.fandom.com/wiki/Sekkiseki

Quilge (The Quincy guy I assume you're talking about) was using his Reishi subordination to make the hollow/Ayon part of him. He mentioned it was unholy to him. This post talks about that stuff and has a manga panel where Quilge said the Ayon monster he absorbed was corrupting his holy wings. Ayon wasn't the Tres Bestia's true power so Quilge could somewhat integrate that Hollow into himself But he wouldn't be able to do the same to Resurrecion which is a Arcancar Hollow's true power. ihttps://saranel.tumblr.com/post/156307147675/remember-those-bankai-hollowify-pills-urahara-made

Oh yeah, the brainwashed Arcancar soldier has that Quincy cross which allowed him to use Reishi like a Quincy could, I don't think the Quincy powers were actually integrated into that Arcancar. Plus, Yhwach probably granted him the ability through that cross.

Honestly, I think Kubo should have had Urahara bring in that Tenshintai doll or something based on it, considering it manifests a Zanpakuto spirit in the Soul Society. They could have focused on the zanpakuto's spirit's bond with a Shinigami but then the Quincy's medallions could have recaptured them or the medallion is literally forcing the Zanpakuto spirit away from it's owner. https://comicvine.gamespot.com/tenshintai/4055-49138/

Just watch a few clips on youtube while skimming through the wiki and I have. so many questions.

* How did none of the scientist in bleach notice any of the thousands Quincies building up their strength right under the Seireitei?

* Why is it suddenly impossible to detect another dimension when Hueco Mundo (and the Valley of Screams if you’re a novelist truther) were so easy to find when they’re spiritual pressure went up?

* Wouldn’t it make more sense to put the shadow dimension in Hueco Mundo since it’s been far less researched and the giant amounts of hollow Reishi that’s build of could have disguised the Quincies well? Especially since YHWACH is basically a Hollow that nobody had a chance to put down?

* Why is hollow said to have been poisonous to Quincies and yet that n@zi based Quincy was able to observe it’s powers pretty easily? And how does it explain the brainwashed Arrancar soldier we saw in the first Episode?

* Why didn’t the show just create a telepathy booster for bankai users to be able to reconnect with their bankais even after they’ve been stolen to showcase how strong a bond can be between the sword and it’s user instead of these last minute hollow pills that were mostly just fan service for Toshiro fans?

And I cannot stress this enough how this is not at all sarcastic. I am legitimately confused.

Heres my own redesign of s1 Nya I did for funsies!

I always wished she had a less formal outfit (because lets face it, a qipao isn’t exactly casual) but it was too iconic to just completely remove, so I gave her a jacket! I also added some subtle hints to her being a mechanic/Samurai X; her toolbelt, goggles and the oil smudge on her cheek!

Not much else I would really change about her character in s1 (except her … questionable writing but that’s a talk for another day..,,!)