This Question And Its Answer From The New York Times Work Advice Column Is W I L D.

This question and its answer from The New York Times work advice column is W I L D.

This makes me very happy

a helpful tutorial

I was taking with my friend about good omens and we were wondering how the hell aziraphale-as-crowley managed to get into that bath without getting his socks wet and so I drew this ‘helpful’ guide.

I like to imagine that all the demons had to just awkwardly stand around watching him clamber around getting into this bathtub… @neil-gaiman can you confirm?

tbh the best way that i explain to other people what it feels like to live with an anxiety disorder is the one time when i had to get a fingerprint and background check done for a job and i, someone who has never received so much as a speeding ticket my whole life, spent thirty minutes panicking that i would fail because i might secretly be a criminal and have no idea 

Why do I have a constant sense of impending doom? Sure the entire universe could implode at any instant but what. 

What am I gonna do to prevent it?

Worry ???

13. Merlin was so mean to Mordred? Every single time? Like I dunno Merlin, maybe if you hadn’t treated Mordred like the devil incarnate then he might not have turned against you, bud!

14. Gwaine and Percival’s mission at the end that really sort of fucked everything up even more than necessary.

15. No one was ever once suspicious by the amount of people that flew off of their horses around Merlin. I get that they were usually distracted but. It can’t be a common occurrence except of course when Merlin’s there.

BBC Merlin things that still confuse and anger me:

1. Both Gwen’s father and brother died yet they were hardly ever mentioned again afterwards and she barely even mourned

2. Why Aithusa felt the need to revive Morgana that one time when she died, it would’ve saved us all a lot of trouble if that didn’t happen

3. How was Mordred like 10 when we first meet him but then magically almost the same age as Merlin and Arthur in season 5 (to the point where people actually ship Merdred)

4. How did Arthur just like, completely forget that Mordred was a Druid??????

5. Agrivane and Uther as characters in general (see also: Morgause - also why are there so many characters name that starts with Mor-??)

6. WHY DIDNT MERLIN JUST TELL MORGANA HE HAD MAGIC TOO LIKE EVERYTHING WOULDVE BEEN FINE AND SHE PROBABLY WOULDNT HAVE TURNED EVIL

7. Arthur and Gwen never finding out that it was the enchanted bracelet that made her kiss Lancelot so they just lived their lives thinking Gwen was an adulterer

8. How no one (especially Merlin who thought he was saving him) ever found out that Uther died bc Morgana used that anti-heal thing and not (directly) bc of the assassin

9. The Ending(tm)

Crowley & Aziraphale: Book vs. Miniseries

(and just to be REALLY CLEAR, I love them both. But the differences are fascinating, since it’s the same author adapting his work after almost 30 years. And how often do you get to see *that*?)

Crowley

Okay. So Book!Crowley is healthy. Just, absurdly well-adjusted. This is a man (demon) just happy with who he is and where he is in life. Sure Hell is annoying, but they mostly leave him alone, and he’s supposed to do paperwork, but… doesn’t. (They never check on the other end, it’s fine.) Aziraphale might be a little hung up on Heaven & similar, but he’s coming to his senses. Slowly. It might be another couple thousand years. But Crowley can wait. 

But Series!Crowley is *trying* so very hard. To be cool, successful, appreciated. Book!Crowley gets an award for the M25 motorway, Series!Crowley gets blank stares and stupid questions. This is someone who wants recognition, who wants love, and isn’t getting it. He’s erratic and fragile, kind of chip-on-his-shoulder, and part of this is David Tennant himself (who has never *once* played a character I would describe as “emotionally stable.”) But part of it is the way Series!Crowley is written. 

I’m thinking of the paintball scene where Aziraphale calls Crowley “nice.” Book!Crowley rolls his eyes and says, “All right, all right. Tell the whole blessed world, why don’t you?” (”Yes, Az, I know, but I’m on the clock right now and my boss is not happy.”) Series!Crowley, well. Memorably slams Aziraphale into a wall with, “SHUT IT. I’m a DEMON. I’m not NICE. I’m never NICE. NICE is a four-letter word.” @everentropy has a very nice meta about Crowley’s issues with the word nice, but no matter how you slice it, this says (loud and clear) that Series!Crowley is not comfortable with his softer side. Not even a little bit. He is “Cool Demon Crowley” because at least that’s safe.

The terrified houseplant joke also gets a different varnish in the show. In the book, it’s as if Crowley skimmed a magazine, read an article about talking to plants, read another article about the benefits of screaming into pillows, and then sort of combined them? This comes right after the joke about Crowley’s speakers (which his expensive sound system doesn’t have, because he wasn’t aware it *needed* speakers). This makes “threatening the houseplants” feel more like an “angels and demons trying to understand humanity, but subtly missing the point” sort of joke.

But on the show it’s more sinister. In Crowley’s big moments of pain and anguish, he is surrounded by those plants. With the show-specific “de-motivational” posters lining Hell, I think it’s fair to day that Crowley treats his plants this way because that’s just how he thinks motivation works. That’s how it works in Hell. 

Series!Crowley is real danger of saying “Screw it. These jokers (Hell) (Aziraphale) don’t APPRECIATE what I do. What is the point of any of this. I’m OUT.” And then, actually leaving. 

Aziraphale

Book!Aziraphale is a little mysterious. We don’t spend *that much* time inside his head, and the time we do get mostly revolves around his books. But we do learn that his taste in books is kind of… subversive. Here’s an angel who likes to collect books of prophecy (accurate and inaccurate) and bibles with printing errors. Aziraphale says he’s loyal to the Great Plan and the Word of God and all that, then turns around and attributes the entire book of Revelations to bad mushrooms. And when he’s drunk, he turns into a clever little rules lawyer. Nope, Book!Aziraphale has absolutely been Doubting Heaven, sneakily, for a long time. And he lays on the angelic Sweetness and Light a little thick for Crowley’s benefit. 

Book!Az is tough, and a little ruthless. He’ll do things like glare at customers, and scare mobsters away from his shop. Killing the Antichrist is his plan, not Crowley’s. But Series!Az is just pure sweetness, and pure light. There’s no part of him that isn’t the sugary lemon meringue frosting you get on the surface. And the show makes it very clear that that is strength. You don’t have to be tough to be strong. 

And that’s the difference. The 1990 novel was about questioning authority, questioning structures, questioning whatever role society hands you. The Antichrist just… refuses to be the Antichrist, and that saves the day. Crowley is our model: neither angel nor demon, critical of both, happy in his own world. Az is the one who needs to finish shaking off his programming. And when I was a teenager, that was exactly what I needed to hear. 

But now… Adam says that Satan cannot punish him, because Satan did not love him first. This series is about the terrible risks of loving, and the strength that comes from being honest, being vulnerable (”I’m just a kid” “That’s not a bad thing to be.”) The importance of letting yourself be known. Series!Az and Series!Crowley switch bodies at the end. How much more *known* can you get? 

But, it’s hard. It’s so hard for both of them. It’s hard for Crowley to take down all his defenses, and publicly acknowledge that he would rather die than never talk to Aziraphale again. And it’s hard for Aziraphale to stay sweet and pure and emotionally honest, and in love, because it can hurt so much. But they do it. It’s worth it. And that’s the message I needed now, Mr. Gaiman. Thank you.