YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!

Dark buck is back!!

This Is Fate- Part 4

So I wasn't going to post this today but I suddenly got very excited at the thought of finally posting for this Dark! Evan Buckley series again.

I don't know if anyone will still be interested in this series, probably not, but any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro

@5hundreddaysofsummer @soryuwifeyxx @targaryenluvs

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Summary: Eddie is surprised when his little sister comes to LA, pregnant, and asks to stay with him. She needs a fresh start away from her ex, but things take a bad turn when she finds out her ex works with her brother. And he won't let her go so easily.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you fancy going to get a coffee?"

There was something about Maddie that felt safe. Something that made (Y/n) feel calm and at ease and like she was around someone she could trust.

She glanced down at her phone, wincing when she saw the few messages she had gotten from Evan. He wanted to see her and (Y/n) didn't know how many times she could put him off before he decided to turn up on the doorstep unannounced. But (Y/n) didn't want to worry about that right now, and she had an hour to kill before she needed to go and pick Chris up from school, a coffee with Maddie wouldn't be too bad.

"Sure."

She followed Maddie out of the call centre. It was strangely comforting that their shifts seemed to line up these past few weeks, they had lunch together on their breaks, they chatted in the break room and they got along really well. (Y/n) finally had someone here in LA who was her friend, not just her big brother and his team or her ex- if Evan could still be classed as her ex.

If she was being truthful, she didn't know what Evan was to her anymore, but it had to be more than an ex. She was having his baby. She was being drawn back into the web he created around her to keep her close and this baby was going to stop her from ever getting completely free from him. But (Y/n) didn't help the situation.

She still found herself drawn to Evan like a moth to a flame, it was inevitable. There was a string of fate drawing them both together and (Y/n) couldn't get away from him even if she wanted to. She had barely been back a week and she found herself in bed with him again and now, when she met with him at his apartment to talk or just catch up, she always found him wrapped around her like a blanket.

A warmth spread through (Y/n) bones and stopped her mind from racing away without her when Maddie looped their arms together and they walked into the coffee shop just around the corner from work.

When each of them had their respective drinks, Maddie an iced coffee and (Y/n) a mint hot chocolate- something the baby craved a lot recently- they moved over to a small table in the corner.

(Y/n) could have melted when she sat down in the cosy pink chair that felt like she was sitting on a feather pillow. It was a lot comfier than the desk chairs they sat at all day long at the call centre. Being sat down all day was good so (Y/n) wasn't always on her feet with the baby, but it didn't exactly help her back. Or her circulation that seemed to cut off when she sat down.

She sank back into the chair, dipping her head down when Maddie smiled sweetly from where she sat opposite her.

Her hand moved to absentmindedly glide across her stomach, something she had been doing rather a lot since it became noticeable. It also happened to be something that Evan always did whenever he was around her. And Chris had taken to touching her bump too, very excited to have a little girl in the family soon. "So, how have you been?" Maddie relaxed against the arm of her chair and crossed one leg over the other, nursing her coffee between her hands despite how cold it made her fingertips become.

"Good… busy, Chris has been helping me buy a few things."

It had cheered (Y/n) up immensely last week when she and Chris went out and he started pointing out baby clothes that he thought would suit his cousin. They ended up getting quite a few things ready and (Y/n) was slowly starting to get used to the fact that quite soon, she was going to become a mother.

Chris and Eddie were both under the same impression; (Y/n) would be staying with them for the foreseeable future.

Eddie didn't want her to get a place of her own yet when she wasn't settled and was still anxious. He and Chris loved her company, they were one big family together and he didn't want (Y/n) to rush around, if she had the baby Eddie wouldn't kick her out. He wanted her to stay.

"Have you told your folks yet?"

"At the weekend, it went better than expected." (Y/n) knew Maddie saw the grimace cross her face as she spoke.

Eddie had done as promised and explained the situation to their parents over FaceTime. They had the reaction (Y/n) expected. Shock, panic, then they begged (Y/n) to go back home to Texas with them or go back to staying with Chrissy to be closer to the rest of their family.

It was hard to explain to them that she was settled here in LA, she had friends, she had Eddie and Chris and she wanted to stay. But at least her parents hadn't gotten into the conversation about her ex. They hadn't asked if he knew, where he was, what he thought about all of this. They knew (Y/n) had a bad relationship and they figured she moved to LA to do this on her own.

Oh, how wrong they had all been.

"That's good."

(Y/n) could feel herself relaxing more and more and for the first time since she moved here, she finally felt like she had a friend. She had someone she could talk to who wasn't her overly worried brother or her brother's friends. Maddie wasn't someone on Eddie's team who (Y/n) had to watch what she said around.

Granted, she was closer to Evan than anyone else here, but she was still separate. Maddie felt impartial to (Y/n), someone she could keep to herself like a little secret. Someone she could talk to freely, to an extent, who didn't look worriedly at her or like she was making mistakes.

Maddie didn't look at her with panic and sympathy like Eddie and she didn't have that possessive streak like Evan.

She wanted to get to know (Y/n), they were friends.

(Y/n) began drawing her fingertip around the rum of her cup that was practically empty, save a few dregs of chocolate mix at the bottom and remnants of cream. She slouched down a little more, feeling the baby kick every now and then as they seemed to have come to life in the last twenty minutes.

"Can I ask you something?" Maddie pursed her lips and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The soft creases around her eyes as she smiled made (Y/n) feel at ease and like this wasn't something to worry about.

"Sure."

"Are you and Buck, involved?"

A surge of panic shot through (Y/n)'s chest and rippled all the way to her heart. She did her best to steel her expression and make sure not a single muscle twitched in her face and gave away the terror that was now gripping her completely.

Why would she ask that?

(Y/n) had never once uttered Evan's name in Maddie's presence. She had been on edge at work for the first few shifts with Maddie in case she said something and let slip that she knew Evan. But after that, she relaxed. His name never came up except in passing and (Y/n) never commented about him. Why would Maddie suddenly guess something like that?

"What?" Her voice was controlled and as calm as she could muster, but she could feel her fingertips going cold as her hands started to feel numb and shaky.

"Buck told me you two knew each other, before you moved here. The way he smiles when he talks about you makes him light up, but Eddie doesn't know you know each other. I just, I wondered if that's because you two are together?"

Oh God.

He had spoken to Maddie.

He promised!

Evan promised he would let (Y/n) have the call centre to herself, something she didn't have to divuldge with him, a place where he wouldn't hang around like he used to at her old job. She wouldn't finish work and find Evan waiting for her like before, she wouldn't have him checking what shifts she was working or who she was working with.

When someone at her old job asked her out and subsequently got a bit too close to (Y/n), Evan threatened him and ended up punching him. She didn't want that happening here.

She wanted work to be a safe space where she didn't have to think about Evan at all. She wanted Maddie to be included in that, someone she could talk to and confide in and have a friend in rather than a conspirator.

But if Evan was talking to his sister about (Y/n), then that meant he would use Maddie to keep tabs on (Y/n). He would ask subtle things, check in on her, know what shifts she was working and who she was working with and how she was getting on. He would know every aspect of her day like he used to and that made him worse. Because if Evan got to that point again, he would keep tabs on her and then if he didn't know what she was doing, he got manic.

He got desperate and started to worry she was trying to leave him or deliberately avoiding him.

(Y/n) ran a shaky hand through her hair as she desperately tried to think of a response. What was she supposed to say? If she said no and Maddie relayed that to Evan, it would upset him, it would spark a row. If she said yes, she was giving in to him and his demands. If she said yes, she was making herself isolated.

She wouldn't be able to talk to Maddie anymore, the dynamic would change and Maddie would become family, no longer just an impartial friend.

"I… I didn't tell Eddie, they're friends, I d- I didn't want to…"

"I get it, when I got together with Chimney, it did feel awkward with him being friends with Buck and all."

She had to get her story straight. (Y/n) had to know what to say because it would have to be the same story she relayed to other people. To Eddie. She had no idea what to tell Eddie and if Maddie somehow spoke to Eddie in passing and mentioned anything, Eddie would get suspicious.

She didn't realise she had been dwelling in her thoughts for so long until Maddie's hand softly rested on her arm.

"Is he the father?" Her eyes darted down to (Y/n)'s stomach and the spark of hope in her eyes made (Y/n)'s eyes well up with tears.

She couldn't find her voice, but she managed to nod. Evan would tell her anyway. If he was laying the seeds all around and telling Maddie they were together, he would undoubtedly tell her the baby was his. This was his way of making sure (Y/n) didn't try and disappear with the baby. If everyone knew, she couldn't make a quick exit like she had back home with Chrissy.

"Oh, this is so lovely. Buck's always wanted kids, and I'm gonna be an aunt, oh." Her free hand moved to her chest as tears overwhelmed her eyes. Maddie had always heard her little brother remarking how he wanted kids, he wanted to raise them the way Maddie had loved and raised him. He wanted to be a better parent than their parents had been.

She knew he would be a good dad and a baby in the family would be so lovely. Plus, now that Maddie was close to (Y/n), it made everything even better that they were all so closely knitted together into a family.

"Don't- please don't tell Eddie. We, we want to make it special." God, she was making things worse for herself. (Y/n) was digging a bigger hole that she wouldn't be able to get out of, but she had to buy herself some time.

"Of course I won't. I'm sure he'll love the news."

When Maddie looked up and realised tears were trickling down (Y/n)'s face, panic and alarm flooded her features. She gripped (Y/n)'s arm tighter and shuffled closer, leaning over the coffee table to try and find out what she had done wrong.

"I- did I say something-"

"No, no… I just, he's protective. An ex was, he was frightening me, and I- I go to Eddie when something's wrong. I hate worrying him, I want to make him proud."

She wasn't sure if she was making much sense, but Maddie squeezed her arm and nodded all the same.

There was no way to explain without letting Maddie know that her brother had a darker side that no one else had witnessed. She could hardly tell Maddie that Evan used to stalk her at work, he punched people who got too close to her, he would call and text incessantly and need to know where she was going. She couldn't explain that Evan wouldn't let her breathe on her own or be out of his sights for longer than an hour.

She couldn't explain how suffocating he had become unless she wanted to upset everyone and ruin everyone's lives.

But what was she going to do now?

(Y/n) had the choice of either lying to everyone and living the fantasy Evan was trying so hard to create. Or she could try and tell everyone the truth and shatter so many lives in the process.

Eddie would never look at his best friend the same way again and he wouldn't be around Evan or let Evan near (Y/n) because Eddie had heard what (Y/n)'s ex had done to her and he wouldn't let it continue. Maddie would be scarred for life and would have a fractured relationship with her brother. Chimney, Hen and Bobby wouldn't know how to go forward.

The dynamic within the team would forever be changed, and it would be all (Y/n)'s fault. And if she told people, then she would have to have this baby on her own which was something Evan would never allow.

He would fight everyone to be in his daughter's life, and (Y/n) didn't dare think what extent he would go to in order to get what he wanted.

"I know it must feel like you're hiding away or letting people down, but trust me when I say you aren't. Eddie will be proud of you for getting up every day and pushing forward, and it always gets better."

"But I let it happen, I always let things happen-"

"So did I." Those words trickled through (Y/n)'s ears like they were coated in sugar and when she looked up, she realised Maddie was almost crying. "I let my ex-husband make all the decisions, I stayed with him and let him ruin so many things. But his behaviour wasn't my fault, and I got away. Buck saved me in so many ways, and now you've gotten away, and we'll all help you. Buck thinks your so special, he'll look after you."

It was overpowering just how right Maddie was at the same time that she was undoubtedly wrong.

Her words were somewhat comforting but also frightening.

(Y/n) had gotten away, but Evan being here in LA put her back at the start again and she couldn't run away from him. But she didn't know how to move forward with him either when she was lying to so many people, and to herself.

Here was someone she felt close to, someone so kind offering her comforting words and friendship and discretion, and (Y/n) was lying to her. She wasn't able to tell Maddie the whole truth and she couldn't tell Eddie either no matter how badly she wanted to.

Everything was falling apart when (Y/n) was trying so hard to hold the broken pieces together.

What was she going to do?

***

Evan's apartment didn't look as unruly as last time. She let her eyes wander around the kitchen while Evan busied himself making them each a drink. She felt a little bit calmer being here this time.

(Y/n) wasn't sure why she felt so calm considering this was Evan's territory and if he wanted to lock the door and somehow prevent her from leaving, he had every opportunity. But that was just (Y/n)'s imagination running away without her. She had come here because he wanted to talk and she couldn't keep avoiding him.

The longer they didn't sort this whole situation out, the worse (Y/n) was starting to feel. She couldn't keep lying to Eddie. Not when it was eating her alive and every passing day made her panic that Evan would say something and all Hen would unleash.

They had to get this situation sorted, they had to work out what they were going to do and if they were going to tell Eddie the truth or come up with something plausible he would accept.

Leaning forward, (Y/n) arched her lower back out and folded her arms on the counter. She felt like she could fall asleep standing up. With anxiety eating away at her, she was finding it hard to sleep and then she was busy and coordinated at work which left her feeling even worse and drained of her last reserves.

She rubbed her palm over her eyes, trying to wake herself up and she glanced over her shoulder when she felt Evan walk behind her to get the milk from the fridge.

His hand danced across the small of her back as he passed her and when he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, a shiver coursed down her spine. If she closed her eyes, (Y/n) could almost imagine she had gone back a year. Back to where Evan had an apartment across town from Chrissy and where (Y/n) ended up spending most of her time. Back when Evan had been the best thing in the world to her.

Why couldn't things have worked out? Why couldn't they have managed to stay together? If Evan's temper and control issues had been curbed, they could have moved down to LA together with their own place and their own little family. Their friends and families would have been happy and knitted together properly, everything would have been perfect.

She smiled softly when Evan placed a cup of decaf coffee in front of her and finished off making himself a strongly caffeinated one. But when she glanced up at the calendar pinned to the side of the fridge, her eyes narrowed.

He had drawn a small red heart on next Tuesday's date, along with a time. 12pm.

That was the date and time of her next scan; something she specifically hadn't told Evan about yet.

How did he know that?

"Evan…" She couldn't quite find the words, so she tapped her finger against the date instead. (Y/n) didn't want to accuse him of anything and be wrong, or worse still, be right and see that controlling side of him come into play.

"What?" His eyes narrowed slightly and he shrugged his shoulders, not sure what she was trying to ask. "Your appointment," He waved his hand as if it was obvious and leaned his hips back against the counter while he took a large gulp of coffee.

"You knew?"

"Eddie said he's taking you."

(Y/n)'s teeth sank down into her lower lip and she nursed her cup between her hands, letting the warmth ward off the adrenaline trying to gather in her stomach. She didn't want to argue, but Evan had to know what if Eddie said he was taking (Y/n), then Evan couldn't go. How would they explain that to Eddie? And they couldn't just say Evan had offered to take her instead, Eddie would be suspicious why his friend was trying to help his sister who Evan supposedly barely knew.

"I'll be off shift in the afternoon, so you can let me know how it goes."

(Y/n) was a little more than surprised that Evan wasn't pushing harder to be there, that he wasn't going to try and get a shift swap or finish early to be there. He had been eager to go to the last one and he told her before that he wanted to be at every appointment and see how their daughter was developing. He didn't want to miss a thing.

Knowing he was going to give in on this one and let Eddie take her made (Y/n) feel a bit better. If he could just keep doing this, being considerate instead of controlling, they might be able to find a way to move forward instead of going round in circles.

"Sure." She nodded and managed a small smile as Evan pushed off the counter and motioned towards the dining table so they could sit down and talk.

(Y/n) gathered her cup and slowly followed after him. She watched as he sat down and nudged the chair next to him with the heel of his boot so it was pushed out ready for her to sit down.

She set her cup down next to her bag that was laid in the middle of the table but when she slowly eased down, her hand moved to cradle the side of her stomach, causing Evan's brows to knit together.

"You okay?"

His head leaned to one side and he inched closer to her until their knees bumped together. But he was taken by surprise when (Y/n) reached out for his hand. Evan wasn't sure what she was doing until she softly tugged his wrist closer and pressed his palm against the underside of her stomach.

The baby was kicking. Evan pushed his palm a little firmer against her abdomen while his fingers started to tap against her skin, letting the excitement rattle through him in waves. His thumb started to stroke across her stomach as he leaned closer, resting his left arm on the table to balance himself so he didn't fall too far forward into (Y/n).

He liked this feeling.

That was his little girl.

Even after the kicking ceased and she settled down again, Evan kept his hand there for a few extra moments when (Y/n) didn't push him away or seem to mind.

The thought of missing out on this made his skin crawl. If he didn't live in LA, if Eddie didn't live here, if she had gone back to her parents rather than coming all the way out here or if she stayed with Chrissy. If any of those things happened, Evan wouldn't have had a clue he was going to have a daughter. He wouldn't have known anything until he went back there to find (Y/n) and found out too late.

Or if she'd had the baby and Eddie had shown pictures round the station. Evan knew his temper would have flared if that had happened.

It had been fate that (Y/n) was Eddie's sister and had come down to LA at the exact time that she did. Fate was finally on Evan's side for once, fate was agreeing with him. It knew he wanted this, he wanted a family, and now he had it. He wasn't letting (Y/n) take this away from him.

"She's happy," Evan murmured softly, and he couldn't help but lean over and peck the top of (Y/n)'s bump.

"She's always lively, lately."

(Y/n) reached for her cup and took a few sips while she slouched back in her seat and tried to get comfy, something that seemed inevitable lately.

A comfortable silence enveloped them for a while as they sipped their drinks, and when Evan kept one hand on her bump, (Y/n) didn't pull away or have the heart to move him. She slumped her right elbow on the table and then stretched her hand out when her phone buzzed in her bag.

It would probably be Eddie asking if she was alright, he would of finished his shift by now and realised she wasn't at home. He was a worrier just lately and he knew the only person (Y/n) would be out and about with was either Chris or Maddie. He liked to make sure she was okay.

She set about sending a quick response, praying Eddie didn't have any contact with Maddie and that she and Chimney hadn't gone out anywhere right now. Or else Eddie might find out she was lying to him and that was the last thing she needed.

"What's this?"

(Y/n) almost didn't feel Evan's hand slipping away from her stomach but when she lifted her eyes from her phone, she could feel her blood running cold and another kick jostled her stomach.

He couldn't help himself. Evan had seen a few pieces of paper she'd folded up in her bag and before (Y/n) could try and explain, Evan was already reaching into her bag for them to see what it was.

The only reason those printouts were in her bag was so they weren't lying around Eddie's home. (Y/n) couldn't have those laid about the house because Evan was a frequent guest and she specifically didn't want him to see.

"I- I'm looking at a few places nearby." She set down her drink and her phone on the table, but when she tried to take the pieces of paper from Evan, he leaned back in his chair and lifted his arm out of her reach.

They were apartment listings in Eddie's area, across town from Evan.

If (Y/n) was going to try and make a home for herself here in LA, then she had to start looking for a place of her own. She couldn't live with Eddie and Chris forever, despite how comforting and safe she felt being with them. She needed a place of her own to raise her daughter, but she wanted to be close by her family like when Eddie used to live in Texas and had been around the corner from her.

(Y/n) hadn't told Evan or wanted him to find out because she didn't want him to know yet. She knew there was no logical way she could keep him from finding out where she lived. If she moved and Evan asked Chris, her nephew would tell Evan outright. If he asked Eddie in passing or brought it up, Eddie wouldn't see Evan as a threat and would tell him.

If Evan pushed and ended up being involved in their daughter's life then he would have to know where they lived. But she just didn't want to tell him yet, not until she found somewhere and was settled and until she knew if Evan could be trusted.

"Why? This is our baby, you should stay here with me, you can't do this alone."

He tossed the scraps of paper next to her bag and reclined in his seat, crossing one leg over the other as he arched a brow at her. The way he sat with his left arm on the table and his right hand cradling his cup close to his chest made Evan look relaxed, but that wasn't how he felt.

He could feel adrenaline coursing through his stomach and igniting in his chest. If he was going to help and be involved, it was logical that they live together. (Y/n) couldn't do this alone and Evan wasn't about to let that happen.

"I'm not alone, I've got Eddie."

"You know that's not the same. She's my girl too, it'd be better her dad looking after her than her uncle. Come on, just think about it, for me?" That smooth, sugary tone in Evan's voice made (Y/n) coil an arm around her waist, resting her trembling hand on her bump.

She couldn't. She couldn't get back into Evan's grasp unless she knew for certain that he wasn't going to be as menacing, conniving and controlling as he had been before. She wouldn't put herself or her daughter through that mess again. Evan had to prove himself if he wanted any chance at co-parenting or being in a relationship again.

"I'm safe there-"

"You really think I'd hurt either of you?" His lips curved into a lopsided grin that used to make (Y/n)'s stomach erupt with butterflies and had her giggling and melting in his grasp.

She squirmed in her chair, sitting up straighter to click her back into place while she started feathering her numb fingers up and down her stomach.

She knew the answer to that.

Evan wouldn't hurt her, per say. He would never get physically violent, at least, he never had so far. And (Y/n) just knew he wouldn't hurt their daughter. But physically hurting them and being controlling and abusive were two very different things.

Evan could scare (Y/n), he tried to control her and what she did, check who she went out with, what she was doing each day. He liked to check her phone and her emails, he liked to validate the fact that she was with him and wouldn't run off and leave him. He threatened people he deemed got too close to her, he suffocated (Y/n).

And she had a feeling Evan would feel that incessant need to control (Y/n) and their baby too. He wouldn't want (Y/n) taking their daughter anywhere without consulting him first. He wouldn't want other people looking after their daughter or being around her, he would want to know where she was every moment of the day. (Y/n) doubted she would even be okay taking their daughter on a day out without Evan in case he thought she was going to take her and never come back.

"Do you?" His words were slow and precise, but his tone had a razor sharp edge like he was becoming impatient for an answer.

Evan dropped his leg so both feet were firmly planted on the floor and he drained the last dregs of his coffee before he leaned forward. He arched over and curled his hand around (Y/n)'s thigh, tilting his head to the right as he leaned close enough that their breaths mingled and their noses were almost touching.

"Baby?"

"You… you scare me Evan, isn't that bad enough? And what would Eddie say if I moved in with you? We'd have to lie to him or worse, tell him the truth. He knows, Evan, he knows why I left."

He wasn't thinking this through or if he was, Evan was somehow placid and calm at the thought of having a rift come between him and Eddie.

If (Y/n) moved in with him they would have to lie to Eddie and say they had very quickly fallen in love. Or lie and say Evan was the father, but somehow make it plausible that he wasn't the ex that (Y/n) was running away from. And if they told him the truth, Eddie would go mad. He would explode if he knew his best friend, the person he trust more than any other friend in the world, was the one who had scared his sister and caused her to run away.

He wouldn't take it lightly that Evan was the controlling, abusive ex that his sister was fleeing from. Eddie would do his best to keep Evan away from (Y/n) and her baby and that would mean cutting his contact with Chris too. Everything was going to get messy from here on out.

"Do you think he'd let you near me or Chris when he finds out you're the ex I wanted to get away from?"

(Y/n) couldn't help but wince when Evan gave her thigh a rather tight squeeze until it felt like his nails were piercing through her leggings into her flesh. She wasn't trying to rile him up, she really wasn't, but she had to be realistic.

They had to think of what they were going to do and come up with some sort of solution or agreement here.

"You seem to think that once our daughter's born, I won't be telling anyone she's mine. Do you think I'm gonna hide that?"

A wave of sickness washed over (Y/n) and she leaned her head on her hand to try and ward off the feeling.

She knew he wouldn't. She knew once their girl was here, Evan wouldn't hide his involvement. He would take pictures, have her as his lockscreen. He would want to hold her and feed her and watch over her and take her out and show her off. He would be open and honest even if (Y/n) didn't want him to be.

This was his daughter and he was going to be involved in her life.

All Evan ever wanted was a family, and now, (Y/n) was giving him that. She was the mother of his baby, they were going to be tied together with the thread of fate until the end of time.

He wasn't going to hide his involvement with his daughter and that meant everyone, including Eddie and Chris, were going to find out. Somehow. Eventually. Soon.

"So what do we do?" It felt like they had reached a stalemate. Neither of them were making this easy and Evan wasn't going to be satisfied with telling Eddie the truth and having everyone think bad of him. Or have his best friend try and keep him away from (Y/n) and their baby.

(Y/n) let her eyes fall closed and a sigh tumbled past her lips when Evan leaned forward and let his temple rest on her shoulder. His hand moved back down to her bump and his lips attached to the side of her neck. She could feel each soft breath he took, no harsh, ragged breaths like when he was getting riled up ready for an argument. No shaking in his system, no panic or anger visible compared to how unsettled and shaky (Y/n) felt right now.

"We'll work something out to tell everyone, you're my girls."

***

Tears cascaded down (Y/n)'s cheeks as she furiously tried to wipe them away, desperate not to break down into fits of tears that would only slow her down.

She could feel her eyes starting to sting and the familiar sensation tickling in her nose, giving away that she was ready and about to start sobbing. But she was doing everything she could not to do that. Her teeth were biting down on her lower lip so tightly she was drawing blood and her muscles were taut and tense to try and keep control and not let the shaking take over her system.

Just a few days.

(Y/n) needed a few days to figure out what she was going to do. She couldn't stay here any longer, not when she was getting herself into a panicked state and Evan was going to tell Eddie soon. He was going to say something because he wanted to be at the scan in two days. He wanted to be there and that was putting a deadline on (Y/n) to either tell the truth or come up with something plausible.

But she couldn't think of anything to say and she couldn't ruin everything her brother had built here. After all Eddie had been through with Shannon, he deserved some happiness. He and Chris were happy, they had the team, they had each other and Abuela and they had Evan. He was the brother Eddie never had and the uncle Chris desperately wanted.

(Y/n) being here was going to ruin that once Eddie found out the truth and she couldn't stand it any longer.

When a twinge shot through her stomach, (Y/n) leaned one hand forward on the bed and moved the other to cradle her bump. She let the tears trickle down her nose as she tried to take in a deep breath and calm herself down. She was upsetting the baby and making herself feel sick, getting so overwhelmed.

Her hands started to shake as she tried to stuff a few things into the bag she had placed on the bed.

Just a few clothes, a few essentials. She only needed to get away for a few days, three at most. Just so she could calm herself down and think things through without Eddie and Chris unknowingly making her feel guilty. Without Evan snaring her back into his arms, into his trap.

She didn't know where to go. She couldn't go to Evan for obvious reasons, he was the problem. She couldn't ask Maddie if she could stay with her because Maddie would worry and tell Evan. She couldn't go home to her parents, (Y/n) couldn't face them right now and they would try and make her stay there and move back home. Maybe she could stay with Chrissy. She always understood, but Chrissy was far away.

She would get out of town for a day or two. Stay by the beach, in a hotel somewhere. Just to clear her head.

"(Y/n)! Dad said we can go out-" Chris barely knocked on the door before he swung it open and hurried into (Y/n)'s room.

He was used to bursting in now that she was staying with them and he loved it. He loved having his aunt's room right next to his, out of all their family, Chris had missed (Y/n) the most when they left Texas.

But he took one look at her and the smile instantly fell from his face. His jaw dropped down to the floor and his brows furrowed tight until he was barely able to open his eyes. What was she doing? Why did she look distressed? Why was she moving her bags around and opening her chest of drawers?

"Where are you going?" His hand clung to the door handle as he sucked in three breaths all at once, feeling like his chest was going to explode.

(Y/n) rubbed her hand beneath her eyes quickly to try and wipe her expression clean and stop Chris from realising she had been crying. She did her best to put a calming smile on her face and pushed the bag to the other side of the bed, out of his view.

"Nowhere, baby… I- I just, I might go to the seaside, for a day or two."

"You said you were staying, for good."

The panic-stricken expression on Chris's face caused (Y/n)'s stomach to drop down to her feet and when his lips turned into a pout, she felt a tear trickle down her face. She couldn't. She couldn't even escape for a day unless she wanted to panic her brother and nephew.

There was no way for (Y/n) to win this situation. She either stayed and upset everyone or she tried to remove herself from the situation and caused even more panic.

"I am-"

"You won't come back."

"Chris-"

"Dad!" A horrid whine burned at the back of Chris's throat before he bit down on his thumb and stomped his foot down so hard the bedside table rattled behind the door.

(Y/n)'s hand moved to cradle her temple that was starting to ache and throb while her other arm curved over the top of her bump like she was trying to give herself a hug. Chris was going to have a meltdown. Eddie was going to panic and wonder what on Earth (Y/n) was trying to do. She had hoped they wouldn't be home yet. She hoped she could of snook out the house and messaged Eddie to say she was down the beach with a friend and would be back in a day or two.

"Chris, buddy what's the matter?" Eddie jogged down the hall and stopped abruptly outside (Y/n)'s room. He had been prepared to speed into Chris's room until he realised his son was actually in the other bedroom.

He moved into the doorway, both hands reaching out for Chris's shoulders as his boy stomped his foot again and leaned back into him with a lot of force.

"What's up, buddy?"

"Auntie (Y/n)'s leaving." He wailed loudly, tears welling up in his eyes as he leaned back into Eddie and clawed his free hand up Eddie's arm.

He didn't like people leaving. He didn't like changes in routine. (Y/n) was his favourite person. They knew that when (Y/n) eventually got a place of her own, they would have to let Chris adjust because he would hate the day she moved out even if she lived nearby, he would still hate the transition. But now he was under the impression she was trying to leave without telling anyone and it was panicking him.

"What?" Eddie's eyes snapped up to look at his sister who shook her head and wiped her hand beneath her eyes. "(Y/n), what's wrong?" The wary tone in Eddie's voice made (Y/n) feel protected and worried all at the same time. He could see it written across her face that something wasn't right and this situation was frightening him.

(Y/n) could feel her head going dizzy as all the blood travelled down to her stomach and she couldn't seem to take in enough air.

"You can't leave," Chris's voice came out a lot quieter this time as he spoke around his thumb and swayed back and forth against Eddie.

When (Y/n) shook her head and tried to mutter "I'm not leaving," Chris barrelled forward. He bound his arms around her waist but he leaned into her with just a little too much thought and sent (Y/n) stumbling backwards until she fell onto the bed with Chris on top of her. His knees bent awkwardly but he seemed to like this contact much better. He burrowed his face against her stomach and kept his arms bound tight around (Y/n) until Eddie hurried over and reeled him back up by his waist.

"Christ, Chris be careful buddy." Eddie heard the small groan (Y/n) let out when she and Chris landed on the bed.

He couldn't be as playful or demanding with (Y/n) as he used to, not now she was pregnant. Chris was used to playing games with her and having (Y/n) mess around with him, jumping on the bed or running around or picking him up like he weighed nothing. She couldn't do that right now.

Eddie lifted Chris up and stood him back on his feet and when his eyes looked down at his little sister, he watched her tilt her head to one side. She wanted to talk, but they couldn't talk in front of Chris.

"Buddy, you go put the tv on while I talk to (Y/n), she's not leaving, I swear."

"Promise?" Chris looked to (Y/n) as he spoke and he finally started to take in proper breaths instead of wheezing when (Y/n) kissed his temple, murmuring "I promise," against his skin.

Eddie kissed the top of Chris's head and watched him scuttle off down the hall to do as he was asked. Once he was out of sight, Eddie leaned his hip against the bedside table and folded his arms over his chest as a look of confusion mixed with sympathy washed over his face.

"What's going on?" His voice was soft and understanding because he could always read his sister like the back of his hand, just like she could tell what he was thinking without him having to say anything.

He could see his sister was panicking. There was something upsetting her and she was going into fight or flight mode. He could see from the way she hadn't ransacked her drawers or the beside table that she wasn't planning on running away, at least not for long. But the bag on the other side of the bed was a bit alarming. She was trying to leave for a while without telling him or trying to talk things through with him first.

(Y/n) always ran to Eddie, not away from him, which meant this was something very serious.

"I don't know what to do." Tears streaked down (Y/n)'s face again as she lowered her head and rubbed the back of her hand against her eyes. "I just thought, if I got away for a day or two, I could clear my head-"

She wished she hadn't of looked up. Her voice stopped abruptly and a wave of panic consumed her entire body.

Evan.

He was here. He was stood in the doorway, arms folded over his chest and one leg crossed over the other with his body slanted against the door frame. But it was his expression that made the baby do summersaults and made (Y/n)'s hand press down on her bump.

He looked angry. The end of his nose was crinkled up and his lips were formed into a broken frown that made his lips look like a ruler that had been bent in the middle. It caused his jaw to jut out to one side and made every cut of his jawline look defined and angry. Even the way his arms were folded made his biceps bulge like he was expecting a fight.

He had seen the bag half packed on the bed and the drawers hastily opened and half-shut. He had heard Chris's panic and seen the confusion. He knew what she was doing. He knew she was trying to get away again, but he didn't seem to understand that (Y/n) wasn't trying to run away with their baby. She wasn't trying to leave… at least, she didn't think she was.

"Running back to stay with Chrissy? I thought you usually ran away during the night?"

The rage was all consuming in Evan's eyes and caused (Y/n) to shrink in on herself. She wrapped both arms over her bump and shuddered, praying she might just pass out so this conversation didn't happen and she could evict herself from this awkward, bubbling situation.

She could feel her head going woozy while she glanced up at her brother when it struck her what Evan was doing.

She tried to shake her head but Evan's eyes bore into hers with a demanding, all-consuming rage. He was going to tell him. He wasn't playing around. He had just given away that he knew more about the situation than he should have. Evan shouldn't know who Chrissy was or that (Y/n) had even run away from there in the first place.

"What are you talking about… how do you know about that?" Eddie's eyes narrowed into a frown and he twisted to look over his shoulder at his friend.

How did Evan know (Y/n) used to live with Chrissy? Eddie mentioned that (Y/n) had been back home before she came out here, but he never said she lived with their other sister. And he never mentioned her name.

And how did he know she had run away more than once? That statement implied Evan knew that (Y/n) had ran away from home the first time, when she left at midnight to go and stay with Chrissy. Eddie never told anyone that and it wasn't something (Y/n) ever shared with people.

"You really think I'm letting you take her from me?" Evan's voice darkened into a gritty, coarse grumble and when he stepped into the room, (Y/n) curled in on herself like she was starting to melt.

"Take who… Buck what the Hell are you talking about?"

Twisting around, Eddie bolted both hands down on his hips and cocked one hip out to the side as he glared at his best friend.

What was he doing?

Eddie had invited him over because they were all going to go out for tea, but this was a private conversation he was trying to have with his sister. His sister who Evan barely knew. Why was he suddenly so interested in her and talking as if he was trying to start a fight?

Eddie waited impatiently for whatever words were about to come out of Evan's mouth next, but he glanced back over his shoulder when he felt a sudden hand on his arm. He felt (Y/n)'s fingers dig bruisingly into his arm as both hands clutched his forearm and she leaned on the edge of the bed so she could pull Eddie closer.

But a shiver crawled down his spine when he stumbled and realised (Y/n) was pulling him to stand in front of her. Was she afraid of Evan? He felt her lean into his hip and he realised a second too late that her hands were trembling causing him to shake with her. And when he saw a flood of tears pouring down her face, every inch of his blood ran cold.

"It's him. Eddie… it's him, he's the father."

Hello, I hope you and your family are well. Can you please help me recycle the post on my account? 🌺 And help rescue my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏 Thank you.

https://gofund.me/1a1829cd

of course!

I just stumbled on your page and read everything hunger games … oops .. my beloved guilty pleasure 🥹I am in love! With the way you write things I’m so into every character ever that it’s so hard to stick to just one to obsess over, I’m reading every little word for every single character over and over… it may burn into my brain.. oh well… I love it!

this is so sweet of you to say! i never thought that my words or writing would be liked by others this much! thank you! i’m going to try to write for everyone again ❤️

Uh, hey, Arty! I just wanted to ask if you had any author recs?

Hey, Anon! As a matter of fact, I do!

These are a few writers who I enjoy to no end, so here they are:

@zepskies - This is who I get my inspiration from! Such a good writer, you should check out all her fics and she’s got an ongoing one for her Midnight Espresso universe. I’m not surprised if you know her already because she’s just that popular

@deanbrainrotwritings - Another one you may already know! Got a great aesthetic, for starters, and Eris’ fics are full of life and embody the chosen character to perfection. Definitely one you need to check out.

@dean-winchester-is-a-warrior - Ah, this blog’s how I got into SPN fanfiction, through reading The Dangers of Hope (check that one out if you haven’t). Again, not a blog I’m not surprised that I’m rec-ing and probably gets tagged in one of these almost every day.

@angelbabyyy99 - This is my darling, my love… Tahlia! God, I get so excited when she puts out a new fic. And she’s the sweetest soul ever. Do check out her CJ fics (and she’s a dab hand at Sebastian Stan, if yk what I mean), so this is another great one.

@targaryenluvs - Great writer, great person, great everything! Love their writing (they also do MCU, so get into that) and the interactions I’ve had with them so far are great.

Do keep sending in asks!

Arty 💜

your vocab is really rich, what's ur secret

oh! uhm... excellent question!

Read! And every time you stumble upon a word you've never noticed before or know but don't often use, put it in a list, write down its meanings, and try using it the next time you write! (I'll put my list after the cut)

Every time you feel you've used a word too much, or anytime a word bores you to read, search up its synonyms and try using something you've never used before---don't stop the search until you're satisfied, sometimes it takes me more time to find just one word than it takes to write an entire post---not only does this enrich your vocab, but you've probably just written a whole other sentence with newer meanings and more nuance!

Make your own synonym lists! Seriously! Because you can only find that many creative synonyms by searching up "word+synonyms."

Additionally! Think outside the box! Often, the best synonyms are those words that aren't actual synonyms at all. Take flesh, for example---you can use fat, meat, muscle, brawn, beef---but you can also use cake, down, plume, pillow, softness, etc... I find this one especially useful for writing erotica as you have to describe a lot of the same actions and bodyparts over and over and still make it interesting. (I'll add my synonyms list after the cut)

Also! This one is trickier, but instead of using words and synonyms, try making sentences that can replace the word instead---such as metaphors and fuller descriptions! This aligns with the literary device of "showing vs. telling." Of course, outright telling has its uses too and should not be disbarred entirely from writing, but often, it's showing that persuades the reader more. For example, instead of saying nervous, make sentences that describe how the character in question showcases nervousness---does their throat close up, do they sweat, do their eyes go wide, do they stutter, do they fiddle with their fingers, pick their nails, bite their lip, kick the ground, hunch their shoulders, look away, blush, flush, cry, run away or do they feel stuck? Describing these things helps the reader better understand the type of nervousness the character is experiencing. Hence, it makes for not only more interesting writing but also clearer writing!

A similar literary device is "focus and expanding," which slows down the reading or puts focus on certain aspects of the text by describing something to a great extent. If, say, this nervousness the example character is experiencing is of great significance, then that's what the readers' takeaway should be. But the reader won't think too much of it if the text simply states that they're nervous without underlining it. Luckily, there are plenty of ways of doing that, firstly through showing vs. telling, such as in the examples above, then metaphorically, such as "the ground seemed to swallow him up, down the guzzle of a monster with an appetite for disaster---darkness ensued like a storm cloud, cold and clawing with a weight heavy enough to nail him to the spot---all eyes were on him, unblinking and all-seeing, no matter what, he couldn't escape, he was stuck, glued to the ground by the soles of his shoes." I mean, the options are truly endless. These metaphors piled together are also a form of focusing and expanding, but you can take it even further than that by focusing on a small detail and giving it significance. For example, say the character is sweating because he's so nervous---you might focus on a single droplet of sweat instead of everything else, "A chill ran down his back. No, not a chill--sweat. Cold and creepily tracing the rigid bones of his spine. He can't move--if he moves, then they'll see. The sweat will seep into his shirt, and everyone will know what a sweaty and pathetic wreck he is. So, he can't move. No, yes, leave it alone. The droplet continues, running down the cold skin of his clammy back, sliding undeterred until meeting the band of his boxers and disappearing in the fibers. He swallows thickly and sighs with relief--only for another to pill at his nape, tracking the same course as the former. A vicious cycle is forming. He needs to get out of there!" And that's focus and expanding, folks! Focusing on something minuscule and expanding it by using it to describe what the character is feeling. It's a way to have a fresh take on something that's been written a thousand times before, such as "he was nervous."

Anyway, I might have gone a little above and beyond, but really, all these literary devices are ways of "expanding vocabulary" or at least giving an impression of it.

NEW WORDS

Manically---like a maniac

Despotic---like a dictator, having unlimited power over someone, often using it unfairly and cruelly

Chasm---a deep fissure, like a ravine, wound, or metaphorical rupture

Shunts---track-change basically, scoots to the side

Dearth---a scarcity or lack of something, a shortage

Raucous---making a harsh or loud noise

Innocuous---not harmful or offensive---harmless and safe, but also bland and unremarkable, maybe even a little boring

Lanyard---the woven necklace of a festival pass

Gossamer---fine spiderwebs, almost mesh

Cossetted---care for and protect in an overindulgent way

Beribboned---decorated with many ribbons

pupil-fat---cool way of saying enlarged pupils

Chitters---snickers, like a bird

Decadent---corrupt, depraved

Blotting---either soak up and absorb, or stain, or obscure

Barbell---a bar “pole” with attachments on each side

Bunting---of animals, when they butt or rub their head against you

Garnet---red

Cherubic---angelic, plump cuteness, quality of a child

Haunches---hips

Sodden---soaking

Waxing poetic---speaking in a flowery or poetical fashion

Inkwell---a container for ink---a dark well

Rend---tear in two, or more pieces

Ebb---recede, go back, like a tide wave

Webbed---like a duck's feet

Cloying---sickly sweet

Saccharine---oversweet

Apple of your cheek

Swathes---wrap, swaddle

Shroud---obscure something

Moonstone---to describe something grey and dusty, but pretty

Kinked---tangled, messy

Leaden---heavy, dull, slow or the colour of lead, grey

Stygian---devoid of light and brightness, hellish

Flaxen---of hair, champagne colored---ashy blonde

Tepid---lukewarm

SYNONYMS

Related to sucking cock:

Swallow

Glug

Drink

Eat

Guzzle

Receive

Take

Suck

Suckle

Slobber

Gargle

Gurgle

Drool

Gulp

Gobble

Stuff

Glut

Choke

Gag

Lap

Lick

Kitten-lick

Slurp 

Allow entry

Related to kissing:

Kiss

Lock/brush lips

Tongue-feed

Suck faces

Smooch

Peck

Snog

Canoodle

Related to biting:

Bite

Graze

Nip

Nibble

Sink teeth into

Chomp

Related to crying:

Whimpering

Mewling

Bleating

Whining

Snivel

Sniffle

Cry

Sob

Bawl

Hiccup

Spluttering

Blubbering

Coughing

Croaking

Related to pre-cum:

Ooze

Leak

Weep

Well

Drip

Dribble

Flow

Drain

Bleed

Sweat

Seep

Pill

Pearl

Cry

Related to fear and panic:

Hysterical

Wild

Manic

Uncontrolled

Unrestrained

Frantic

Frenzied

Restless

Hectic

Sporadic

Swivel-eyed

Related to screaming:

Scream

Yell

Wail

Yelp

Yip

Yammer

Squawk

Howl

Squeal

Shriek

Related to moaning:

Moan

Whine

Yelp

Purr

Hum

Croon

Related to overstimulated moaning:

Mumble

Croon

Warble

Quaver

Burble

Bumble

Hum

Slur

Ramble

Mutter

Whisper

Stammer

Stutter

Scramble

Jumble

Muddled

Babble

Blubbered

Splutter

Blurt

Related to groaning:

Groan

Grunt

Growl

Grumble

Grouch

Hiss

Guttural

Feral

Rusty 

Throaty

Wet

Sloppy

Related to angry noises:

Howl

Roar

Bark

Grizzle

Grump

Related to surprise or fear:

Gasp

Gulp

Choke

Suck in a sharp breath

Flinch

Jump

Jostle

Wince

Hiss

Pull back

Related to comforting:

Coo

Fuss

Comfort

Hush

Shush

Tsk

Related to begging:

Beg

Pleading

Pray

Bargain

Related to soreness and pain:

Ache

Sore

Throb

Swollen

Fattened

Welted

Related to taking cock inside entrance:

Swallow

Receive

Take

Suck inside

Stuff

Fill

Allow entry

Submit to

Ease inside

Bully inside

Squeeze inside

Force inside

Push

Pry

Related to how the hole squeezes:

Kissing

Fluttering

Hugging

Pressing

Squishing

Squeezing

Tightening

Pulsing

Related to a wet hole:

Slush

Squelch

Squishy

Creamy

Sloppy

Wet

Soaked

Slosh

Sop

Cry

Slick

Weep

Drool

Gush

Swollen

Velvety

Gummy

Cotton

Silken

Satiny

Related to thrusting:

Squeeze into

Pound

Jam

Ram

Rut

Loll

Rock

Thrust

Stuff

Bottom out

Fill

Fit

Nestle

Cram

Prodding

Poking

Kissing

Hammering

Jack-hammer

Smack

Slap

Ream

Related to pleasure:

Ecstatic

Opium-eyed

Euphoric

Elated

Thrilled

Blissed-out

Rapturous

High

Cloudy

Numb

Related to overstimulation:

Overstimulated

Outdone

Aching

Burning

Sweating

Feverish

Delirious

Febrile

Numb

Immobile

Dazed

Dull

Related to being dumb, high, or overstimulated:

Ditzy

Dumb

Clumsy

Silly

Foolish

Giddy

Brainless

Dizzy

Fuzzy

Dopey

Whimsical

Fickle

Featherbrained

Daft

Hare-brained

Awkward

Graceless

Blundering

Bumbling

Klutzy

Clueless

Cloddish

Dense

Related to the body and the flesh:

Tender

Supple

Soft

Creamy

Plush

Doughy

Cakey

Downy

Pillowy

Malleable

Squeezable

Biteable

Pliable

Touchable

Putty

Plume

Related to cuteness:

Cute

Cherubic

Adorable

Sweet

Soft

Precious

Darling

Lovable

Endearing

Baby

Related to weak or smallness:

Breakable

Brittle

Weak

Fragile

Dainty

Delicate

Frail

Flimsy

Vulnerable

Petite

Small

Little

Tiny

Feeble

Defenseless

Powerless

Helpless

Worthless

Hopeless

Related to struggling:

Struggle

Winding

Striving

Straining

Toiling

Playing

Wriggle

Wiggle

Twist

Shake

Tremor

Shiver

Quake

Related to men:

Vulgar

Loud

Oafish

Rough

Rude

Rustic

Gruff

Gross

Doltish

Barbaric

Bearish

Beastly

Churlish

Coarse

Swinish

“I want Aemond Targaryen.”

rhae i’m on your side but me too 😖

(for different purposes)