Anybody Else In Here Feel Like They're Constantly And Involuntarily Calculating Their Every Thought And

anybody else in here feel like they're constantly and involuntarily calculating their every thought and action. and doing it wrong

coming home from work on a very hot day, I witnessed a pitiful scene

squint for me real quick

Late night thoughts

I've seen it said in places that Jon and Martin's relationship (specifically Jon realizing he has feelings for Martin) feels rushed and out of nowhere, and there's a perspective here that I want to share.

I think some people see them as explicitly a gay couple and expect them both to react a certain way to each other, but I have some thoughts as to why Jon is different and their relationship might not look like a traditional MLM story.

I feel that Jon's affections for Martin are absolutely there and growing over time, but with him being acespec, possibly autistic (the "I feel...sad" moment screams alexithymia to me. He doesn't fully understand his internal feelings until they're too big to ignore), and trying very hard to not get murdered for several seasons, I think it's perfectly reasonable his feelings for Martin would take time to develop.

We do see him softening to Martin over time. We see him thinking about Martin unprompted when he's alone. We see him going from "this man is going to ruin this delicate facade I've put up to seem professional, and I want him gone immediately." to "Oh, you're actually capable. So capable you might be trying to kill me." To "I don't want him to get involved or he might get hurt. I need to keep my distance so he's safe." To "I'm going to make myself tea out of nowhere because the guy who usually made it for me all the time isn't here and now it's part of my routine and I want to keep that part of him around while I'm hiding out for murder."

But once he identifies his own feelings, he overcorrects right into hopeless romantic. He's pining hard all S4, because he finally realized himself that he's in love and it's at the worst possible time. It is abrupt. Dude only just figured it out and he's throwing his whole ass into this.

I think even without the autistic headcanon, the acespec nature of how he views relationships and his whole "I feel...sad" moment indicates clearly that he was just oblivious to his own feelings for a very long time.

I know it feels sudden, but some of us are oblivious, okay? I was friends with a girl for 2 years before my brain flipped the switch and Jon's reaction felt so familiar, and I love it. I just hardly ever get to see "me" in media, and it's a bummer when people say it feels unrealistic. It's not, it's just not the norm.

If true we HAVE to make this the biggest flop in gaming history, as in 'destroys the company' levels of gaming flop as in a 'lesson must be taught' gaming flop, as in 'E.T. destroyed atari' gaming flop