Tery-troker - Pime Luola - Tumblr Blog

“Many Hands” is a Kickstarter “Project We Love!”

We’re over the moon to share that Many Hands: An Anthology of Polyamorous Erotica has been named a Kickstarter “Project We Love.” This keeps up our streak – this is our fifth Kickstarted anthology, and all five have been named “Projects We Love,” highlighting our track record for honestly describing our projects, meeting our goals, and fulfilling our campaigns with fidelity.

Many Hands has also been added to Kickstarter’s July Event “Heartstrings and Hardbacks,” focused on promoting romance book projects this summer! Not every story in Many Hands is a romance, and it’s an honor for Kickstarter to decide we qualify for the event.

We introduced our new anthology in our announcement post – 15 stories! Amazing authors! Scrumptious smut! – so join us as we take a moment to introduce our campaign merchandise! We’re offering six lovely extras across two tiers – a “basic merch” level and an “all the merch” level.

Basic Merchandise

Our third backer tier includes the book in trade paperback and these three awesome items – a new Dux sticker, an art print, and a bookmark! These items are also each available as add-ons to people who back at any level that includes physical merchandise. NOT SHOWN: The front cover art print is too explicit for Tumblr; rather than get this post flagged, you can view the image using this link.

(make sure you click on the right-side image to see the whole thing!)

Polyamorous Dux Die-Cut Sticker: Alessa Riel is back with a brand-new dux design, featuring multiple dux and their many wings! Dux is our non-binary Press mascot (you can learn more about Dux here), and for this campaign, Dux is getting their snuggle on with two duck friends. 4 in x 2 in/10.25 cm x 5 cm. (Printed by Vograce.)

Art Print of the Front Cover: a gorgeous matte print of the front cover art. 8.5 in x 11 in./21.5 cm x 28 cm. Art by Aaron Kotze. (Printed by Printkeg.) You can view the cover here.

Many Hands Bookmark: this lovely tasseled, glossy bookmark features a second artwork by cover artist Aaron Kotze. On the back are the signatures of the contributors. 2 in x 7 in/5 cm x 17.75 cm. (Printed by UPrinting.)

Higher-Tier Merchandise

To get the all the merchandise, backers can support us for our highest-level tier, which includes the three “basic merchandise” items introduced above, and also an enamel pin, enamel key chain, and a citrus-and-mint scented candle! The only way to get the candle is to back at this level; the two enamelware items are available as add-ons to lower levels.

Lemon Love Candle: a gorgeous mint-and-citrus scented candle in a 3 oz/85 ml metal tin, approximately 2 in/5 cm circular, made by anthology contributor Alec J. Marsh of Speculative Wicktion.

Poly Pride Dragon Key Chain: an awesome, cute key chain featuring a design inspired by the original polyamorous pride flag. Art is by reshipkmn. Epoxy-coated soft enamel with gold metal. 1.5 in x 1 in/3.75 cm x 2.5 cm. (Manufactured by Alchemy.)

Poly Pride Salamander Enamel Pin: this super sweet salamander is bedecked in the colors of the 2022 tricolor polyamory flag. Art is by reshipkmn. 2 in x 2 in/5 cm x 5 cm. Epoxy-coated soft enamel with black metal. (Manufactured by Alchemy.)

Tons of books and merchandise from our previous campaigns is also available as add-ons, which means no matter what merch you like, odds are we’ll have something you’ll enjoy!

AND you’ll get an amazing, spicy book TOO!

See something you gotta have? Come check out our Kickstarter campaign page NOW!

20 reasons to play I Was A Teenage Exocolonist

1. You can date emo boys

2. You can date emo girls

3. You can date basically everyone in the game that’s your age

4. You can date people no matter your gender

5. Bio gender and pronouns are separate sliders that you can change at any point, and it includes gender neutral options too if you’re like me!!!!!

6. A lot of the characters are lgbtq+, and there are more than the cishet characters

7. Accurate representation of anxiety and other mental disorders

8. It’s just a fun fucking game

9. Overthrow the government

10. Your girlies are allowed to be girls, sexism just doesn’t happen in this game <3

11. Overthrow that bitch ass named alum

12. All forms of abuse, including in romantic relationships, are treated as terrible and not romanticized

13. There are so many potential sexy men you have no clue

14. Silly little alien boy- did I mention that you could date everyone?

15. Dating isn’t required, and isn’t even brought up as necessary at all so you can totally aroace this shit

16. It has more diversity than any other game I’ve played

17. Rip lum’s barely there heart out of his ass and take over

18. You can hyperfixate and play through multiple times (and playing multiple times is actually a feature)

19. You can play on switch so it’s portable too

20. Just fucking play it. It’s such a good game you have no clue.

Made a character sheet for all your OC needs!

my favourite artist drew a chuvash miku, so i just HAD to draw her as a karelian girlie

original outfit ↓

SORRY IDK WHO THE ORIGINAL ARTIST IS😭😭😭

List of unique and imaginative types of government that can add depth to your fantasy world:

1. Gerontocracy

A government ruled by the elderly. Wisdom and experience are highly valued, and the oldest members of society hold the most power.

2. Stratocracy

A government led by military leaders. The state and the military are closely intertwined, and military service is often a prerequisite for leadership.

3. Timocracy

A government where only property owners or those with a certain level of wealth can participate in governance. The idea is that those with a stake in the land will govern it wisely.

4. Gynarchy

A society governed by women. Leadership roles are exclusively or predominantly held by females.

5. Noocracy

A government ruled by the wise or intellectuals. Decisions are made based on knowledge, wisdom, and rational thought.

6. Kleptocracy

A corrupt government where leaders exploit national resources and steal; rule by thieves. This often leads to widespread corruption and inequality.

7. Cyberocracy

A futuristic government where information technology and artificial intelligence play a central role in governance. Decisions are made based on data and algorithms.

8. Hologarchy

A decentralized government where power is distributed equally among all members of society. There is no central authority, and decisions are made collectively.

9. Ecocracy

A government that prioritizes ecological and environmental concerns above all else. Policies are designed to protect and sustain the natural world.

10. Psionocracy

A government ruled by individuals with psychic or mental powers. Leadership is determined by one's mental abilities and control over psychic forces.

11. Syndicracy

A government run by syndicates or groups of people with common interests, such as trade unions or professional associations. Power is distributed among various syndicates.

12. Cryptocracy

A secretive government where the true rulers are hidden from the public. The real power lies with a shadowy group that operates behind the scenes.

13. Technomancy

A blend of technology and magic, where the government is ruled by technomancers who use both technological and magical means to govern.

14. Animocracy

A government where animals or animal spirits play a central role in decision-making. This could involve druids or shamans who communicate with animal spirits.

15. Necrocracy

A government where the dead or undead hold power. This could involve necromancers who use their control over the dead to maintain order.

16. Elementocracy

A government where rulers are chosen based on their mastery of elemental forces (earth, water, fire, air). Each element might have its own representative or leader.

17. Dreamocracy

A society governed by those who can control or influence dreams. Decisions might be made in a dream realm, affecting the waking world.

18. Symbiocracy

A government where humans and another species (like elves, dwarves, or even sentient plants) share power equally. Cooperation and mutual benefit are key.

19. Chronocracy

A government where time manipulation is central. Leaders might be time travelers or have the ability to foresee future events and make decisions accordingly.

20. Shadow Council

A secretive group that rules from the shadows, with their identities unknown to the public. They might use spies and covert operations to maintain control.

21. Guildocracy

A government run by various guilds, each representing different trades or professions. Power is distributed among the guild leaders.

22. Arcane Senate

A council of powerful mages who govern based on their magical prowess and knowledge. Each member might represent a different school of magic.

23. Beastocracy

A society where intelligent beasts or mythical creatures hold power. This could include dragons, griffins, or other fantastical beings.

24. Celestocracy

A government ruled by celestial beings or those who claim divine right from the stars. Astrology and celestial events might influence decisions.

25. Labyrinthine Council

A government where the ruling council resides in a vast, ever-changing labyrinth. Only those who can navigate the maze can reach the leaders.

26. Mirrorocracy

A society where decisions are made by reflections or alternate versions of the leaders from parallel dimensions. This could involve magical mirrors or portals.

27. Puppetocracy

A government where the rulers are figureheads controlled by unseen puppet masters. The true power lies with those pulling the strings.

28. Songocracy

A society where music and song are central to governance. Leaders might be chosen based on their musical abilities, and laws are sung rather than written.

29. Crystal Dominion

A government where rulers derive their power from magical crystals. These crystals might grant various abilities or influence the land.

30. Ethereocracy

A government where spirits or ethereal beings hold sway. This could involve ghosts, ancestral spirits, or other supernatural entities.

31. Mercantocracy

A government ruled by merchants and traders. Economic policies are designed to maximize trade and commerce, with leaders often being the wealthiest traders.

32. Coinclave

A council of bankers and financiers who control the economy. Decisions are made to ensure financial stability and growth, with a focus on banking and investments.

33. Tradeguild Dominion

A realm where powerful trade guilds hold sway. Each guild represents a different industry, and they work together to regulate trade and industry standards.

34. Barterocracy

A society where barter and trade are the primary means of exchange. Leaders are chosen based on their ability to negotiate and manage resources effectively.

35. Resource Syndicate

A government where control is based on the management of natural resources. Leaders are experts in mining, agriculture, and resource distribution.

36. Artisan Assembly

A government led by master craftsmen and artisans. Economic policies focus on the production and trade of high-quality goods and craftsmanship.

37. Agrarian Council

A society governed by those who control agricultural production. Policies are centered around farming, food distribution, and sustainable agriculture.

38. Guilded Senate

A ruling body composed of representatives from various economic guilds. Each guild has a say in the governance based on their economic contributions.

39. Commodocracy

A government where power is based on the control of key commodities, such as gold, spices, or magical resources. Leaders are those who control these valuable goods.

40. Marketocracy

A society where the free market dictates governance. Leaders are chosen based on their success in the marketplace, and economic freedom is highly valued.

41. Tradewind Dominion

A government where trade routes and shipping lanes are the lifeblood of the economy. Leaders are often powerful ship captains or trade route managers.

42. Coincouncil

A council of wealthy individuals who use their resources to influence governance. Economic policies are designed to benefit the wealthy elite.

43. Craftocracy

A government where skilled artisans and craftsmen hold power. The economy is driven by the production and trade of artisanal goods.

44. Miner’s Syndicate

A society governed by those who control mining operations. Economic policies focus on the extraction and trade of minerals and precious metals.

45. Spice Dominion

A government where control of rare and valuable spices dictates power. Leaders are those who manage spice production and trade.

-------

🔥 BONUS ALERT!🔥

🚀 Unlock the Ultimate Fantasy Worldbuilding Book Series Planner 🚀

Ready to take your worldbuilding to the NEXT LEVEL? For 24 HOURS ONLY, you can grab this game-changing planner that will revolutionize your writing process!

📚 Organize, Create, and Conquer!📚

Store ALL your writing resources in one place and make worldbuilding EFFORTLESS and INTERACTIVE. With 25+ stunning fantasy illustrations and an editable wanted poster on Canva, this planner is your go-to SERIES BIBLE.

🌍 Craft Your Epic World Like a Pro!🌍

Not only does it include worldbuilding worksheets, but it also guides you step by step on how to create a COMPELLING world. Plus, you'll get a pre-set writer planner that takes you from idea generation to book publishing!

🎯 Don’t Miss Out! 🎯

This offer is only available for 24 hours! Grab yours NOW and elevate your storytelling!

Is this an neurodivergent thing to be really really shy and introverted but doing presentations in school with absolutely no problem and even finding it fun? Is this because with presentations we had already scripted everything we were going to say and especially enjoyed talking about a topic of our interest but with normal conversations we didn't know how to act spontaneously or "socially" acceptable? Does this make sense?

Omg omg omg. It all makes so much more sense when you realise it's not social anxiety but a fear of being perceived.

Why do you feel more comfortable with a long coat and a mask as opposed to summer clothes?

Why do you DESPISE taking pictures? Especially if it's someone else and not you taking them.

Why do you feel like you have to stop doing whatever it was you were doing when someone passes by?

Why don't you want to tell anyone how leisurely you go about your day, taking a nap, going for a snack, sitting on your phone playing games etc. because you know they will comment on it and even though it's not negative or mockery it's still feels like you've been perceived?

Why can't you make eye contact? Why can you do it only if the other person is looking away but the second when they look at you you stop listening and when you're the one speaking you can't bear to look at them because you know their eyes are on you and they are perceiving you?

Why don't you want to dress excessively or wear nicer clothes? Because you will stand out

People mistake you for shy because you don't speak often, but it's really the fear of drawing attention to yourself more than it is the things you actually say, isn't it?

Why do you hate overpopulated areas even when no one is speaking? BUT you still feel more comfortable when more than one person is in the room (but not too many!) so that the burden of being perceived is directed on someone else and you can safely lay back just observing the scene.

It's all a defence mechanism

Social hangovers

Why don't I see this being talked about more? For many years I thought I'm depressed and/or getting sick after socialising, which was one of the reasons I hesitated to be more social. NO. Turns out it's a social hangover and it's common for autistic people to experience that. Some of the symptoms can include: • exhaustion • headaches • lack of motivation • irritation • stomach problems • low/depressed mood • feeling numb/empty • taciturnity • dizziness ...and more. I- I've learned that about a year ago, but as I was very socially hungover yesterday for no real reason, it brought up thinking about it again and understanding that genuinely helped myself figuring out how to recover easier. Because being actually depressed and having a social hangover are different things that require different strategies.

The biggest thing I've learned to help manage my ADHD in regards to getting things done is to Follow Those Impulses

(I'm not saying this will work for or is even a good strategy for everyone, but in my own situation it's helped me.)

I'm like allergic to consistency in schedule and cannot enforce one on myself so all it leads to is self-loathing and failure. Trust me, I've been attempting to will-power, shame-fuel my way through it since I was a preteen (I'm currently almost 30.) It does not work for me.

Obviously medication can give me a huge leg up on stuff. But beyond a certain point my brain is simply not wired for long-term sustained consistency.

As in many of my issues, I've found that working with myself gets better results than fighting myself.

When I follow those sudden impulses of interest and motivation, I get things done.

To the outside, I look absolutely haphazard. I'll pause a show I'm watching mid-sentence, stand up, and go empty the dishwasher because my mood/brain/chemicals *ping*ed that it was suddenly do-able and not a huge overwhelming task. Or I'll be putting away laundry and that *ping* will go off and I'll spend three hours re-organizing my closet.

To a neurotypical, this looks like distracted and disorganized behavior.

To me, it's following the way my brain naturally works in order to accomplish tasks.

My ADHD manifests in that I experience very small and unsustainable windows of motivation and interest. So when I feel that window crack open, doing the Thing right then (when the situation enables me to) can mean the Thing actually happens. Even if it's not the thing I'm "supposed" to be doing.

With a neurotypical in that situation, they might be putting away clothes and think: "Oh, I should organize my closet. I have time this weekend, I'll do it then," finish putting away their clothes, and then organize the closet when they had free time that weekend.

I used to try to do things that way too. Because it was how I was taught that "responsible, real people" did it, and had "finish one thing before you start another" drilled into my head. But I'm literally not wired to work that way. And I've been working on undoing that internalized ableism of believing one way of doing things is better and I need to change to adhere to it. I don't and shouldn't be expected to to my own detriment.

For me with the closet example, the weekend would come and I would spend 5 hours screaming at myself to stop working on whatever did have my interest in order to go organize the closet. Sometimes I might ended up doing it. More often, I would not be able get myself to do it even after all that. I would just sit there, yelling at myself, hating myself despite my brain literally not having the chemicals to initiate the activity (let alone follow through) and nothing would get done. Not even the thing I wanted to focus on instead.

The only thing I did accomplish was hating myself for not being able to do "simple" things like other people (read: neurotypicals.)

This is basically how I spent the majority of my schooling; doing simple tasks felt like running in sand. And I internalized all the messages that told me it was my own fault I couldn't run as fast and in as straight a line as those running on pavement.

The past few years, I've been trying to follow impulses more. And its honestly been really helpful.

I get more done even if it isn't a "consistent" amount or I can't always count on having a specific thing done by a certain date.

But the big thing is that I spend less time hating myself for not doing what I "should" be and more time actually doing things when I have the motivation for them. More shit happens, I'm undoing some of that self-loathing.

tl;dr: My advice for fellow adult ADHD-ers is:

Try to learn what your natural rhythms are and, where possible, try leaning into them. Without judgement, try working with your natural tendencies rather than battling them at every moment. See how it feels, see what you accomplish (and not just in the capitalistic "productivity" way--spending 3 hours hyperfocusing on researching the history of wheat germ counts!) See how your brain and body feel.

Your brain is wired different, let yourself operate different.

Beth Cavener

Through an empty place. 2017

Can't express how stress free being open minded is.

Some lesbians use he/him? Oh cool.

Some people have people inside their head and sometimes it's fictional chars? Sick your brains like a pirate ship they're all working to run.

Some people like being treated like a pet dog? Bark bark bro.

Being fat isn't unhealthy but a perfectly normal type of body to have? Kinda beautiful how different we can all be.

Something doesn't make any fucking sense? Cool an opportunity to learn. And even if I can't figure it out it's cool we still have mysteries today.

You're just a mammal. Let yourself act like it. Your brain needs enrichment. Your body needs rest. You feel hunger and grow hair. You need to pack bond with other sentient things so you don't become unsocialized and neurotic. You are biologically inclined to seek dopamine and become sick when chronically stressed. "Hedonism" is made up to place moral value on taking pleasure in sensory experiences. I am telling you that if you don't let yourself be a fucking mammal, as you were made, you will suffer and go insane. No grindset no diets no trying to be above your drive for connection. Pursue what makes you feel good and practice radial rejection of the constructs meant to turn you into a machine. You're a mammal.

You're just a mammal. Let yourself act like it. Your brain needs enrichment. Your body needs rest. You feel hunger and grow hair. You need to pack bond with other sentient things so you don't become unsocialized and neurotic. You are biologically inclined to seek dopamine and become sick when chronically stressed. "Hedonism" is made up to place moral value on taking pleasure in sensory experiences. I am telling you that if you don't let yourself be a fucking mammal, as you were made, you will suffer and go insane. No grindset no diets no trying to be above your drive for connection. Pursue what makes you feel good and practice radial rejection of the constructs meant to turn you into a machine. You're a mammal.

Your writing will always feel awkward to you, because you wrote it.

Your plot twists will always feel predictable, because you created them.

Your stories will always feel a bit boring to you, because you read them a million times.

They won't feel like that for your reader.

In my first year university course there was a class I remember as being mandatory (at least for English majors) about fallacies and biases in writing. And this prof was all about reading the whole article before you formed your argument. That was his whole thing. You know measure twice cut once he was read twice respond once. He stressed this so much that on our final exam (which was two long form essay questions and a few short answer questions) that I decided to read the WHOLE exam booklet before I grabbed my pen.

Turns out that is what he wanted. The final page, the final question, informed the student that if they wrote 1. Their name, 2. Their student number 3. Their favourite fallacy, and wait for 30 minutes so they don't arouse suspicion, you will literally be given 100 percent for the exam WORTH 40 PERCENT OF YOUR GRADE.

I think about it to this day. The prof literally saw the "reading comprehension on this site is piss poor" and said I can fix them

Cartoons messed people up on what rabies looks like. Ppl think of a rabid animal and assume it's always snarling and frothing at the mouth and ready to attack. Rabid animals can appear really friendly because they lose human fear and they might approach you supposedly looking for food. It might look like a deer stumbling in circles and limping and falling over as if it's injured and disoriented. Might looks like a fox repeatedly trying and failing to stumble to its feet and unable to pick its head up. Their brains are melting. They might seem angry but they might also seem confused or injured or in need. But if you try to help that injured crying fox you could end up getting bit by an animal that's basically already dead and then your brain will melt too

have been losing my shit over the fact that 1. there's a passage in polybius's history where he tells us that the tyrant demetrius of phalerum once made a giant mechanical snail to parade through athens and trail slime everywhere 2. people have been trying to figure out how this massive snail worked since at least 1937

i know vitamin c basically neutralizes adhd meds but lemonade good

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

Shoutout to neurodivergent people who struggle with critical thinking.

A lack of critical thinking skills is often ridiculed online. It's seen as laziness, a lack of effort, intelligence or training. Naive and ignorant. A personal fault you need to work on, or else you're part of the problem.

For some people, their lack of abilities in this field is an integrate part of their neurodivergence. It could be a problem with executive functions, or a difference in thinking patterns, processing or world-view. We can have problems recognizing lies and falsities, how opinions differ from facts, the role of rules, thinking "outside the box", forming theories and conclusions, seeing different viewpoints, etc.

Critical thinking is an important skill that people benefit from learning. But it's like any other skill; some people are naturally good at it and some have major disadvantages. Learning and practicing help you get better, but it won't magically change who you are.

If you're neurodivergent and struggle with critical thinking, know that you're not lazy or ignorant. You have a difference in your brain that make certain things harder for you. And that's shouldn't be mocked.

An Introvert's Unconventional Guide to Friendship 👯‍♀️☺️👬

i've been making a conscious effort to lately to develop my relationships with friends, new and old (you can read more about my progress here under the relationships section), so i wanted to share some things i've realized through that process in the hope that it helps you debunk some myths and reconsider some assumptions you may also have as an introvert navigating your social life ☺️

💌: please feel free to also share any tips or hacks in the tags/reblogs/etc.! i would love some help too 😅

Don't just wait for extroverts to adopt you 🥺🐶

this used to be my primary strategy for making friends, especially in school. but you know how cher in clueless “adopts” tai for her own selfish reasons and essentially turns her into someone she's not? yeah, you put yourself at risk for that when you rely on others to extend to you their “friendship,” whatever that means for them, instead of advocating for yourself and seeking out the friends you genuinely enjoy being around.

but what does this mean in practice?

🤧 don't be allergic to sitting / standing / doing pretty much anything by yourself — similar to how one of the most effective conversation tips is to be comfortable with silence. if you wouldn't rush to fill every gap in the conversation, don't rush to surround yourself with “friends” because the wrong ones can do you more harm than good.

👁️ case the joint — now that we've settled in by ourselves, take time to observe your peers. you might not always know what you're looking for in a friend, so keep an open mind. basically, if they seem to be respectful, kind, and have personal integrity — you know, the basics — don't hesitate to introduce yourself! and remember, if they treat you badly, remember that says everything about them and absolutely nothing about you! don't give them the satisfaction of ruining your day!

💞 share your interests — or whatever is most important to you. if you're looking for a true kindred spirit, then you need to put yourself out there! sometimes people just have different interests and that's okay, but often it's easier than you may think to find common ground. and you don't need to have everything in common with someone in order to be good friends! i have a friend with whom i share nothing in common with, but we stay curious about each other's interests and continue to share them with each other, and in doing so, we still maintain a strong bond 💓

to be clear, i'm not saying extroverts don't make good friends for introverts!! if they have good intentions, then i personally definitely willingly let myself be adopted 😂 but it's no longer my only or even my best option for making friends!

There is more than one way to be a good friend 😌🤗

i literally had an anxiety attack one night because i was worried a friend i had talked to earlier that day might think i was a bad friend because she always sends me recommendations for stuff i've expressed interest in and i felt like i couldn't reciprocate because the venn diagram of her interests and mine is like a small circle that's mostly inside of a big circle and i'm the small circle, so while she has a lot to recommend to me, if i tell her about something, she probably already knows about it 😭

but then i remembered something we talked about, how there are different love languages and even within a single love language like acts of service for example, there are different ways to show it! my friend's act of service is to be a good listener and remember small details about her friends, while i'm more of a literal acts of service person sometimes, so i will cook for you and help you clean up 😂

some unconventional ways to be a good friend:

😈 pranks / teasing (if you have that kind of relationship)

🤡 willing to embarrass yourself like you're in a slapstick comedy to make them laugh

🔒 confide in them about your struggles / concerns (you are not a burden and the right people will feel privileged to have your trust)

🦦 spam them with pictures and videos cute animals

so, i'm probably not a perfect friend (i literally admire my friend so much for remembering the little things and i want to practice so i can become that way too), but i don't think i'm a bad friend anymore 🥰

Meet people on your own terms 📱💻🍜☕

during the pandemic, i got in touch with my (slightly) extroverted side for the first time in my life because i was finally able to stop overthinking about posture, body language, whether my outfit is still set the way i want it to be, etc.

and instead of needing to approach people in a physical space that may be crowded, noisy, or where they may have someone (or multiple people 🙈) already talking to them, i could take the time to craft a message to send 😌

i also learned that i really enjoy meeting people one on one vs. in a group setting, at least at first. and i learned from watching myself in zoom meetings how to emote better through my facial expression and body language when words fail me or to enhance what i say!

essentially, i learned to meet people on my own terms and that translates to meeting people offline as well! i like meeting up with people to eat or drink because if all else fails, we can talk about the food, the ambience, other meals we've had or restaurants we like. food is just such a good gateway to so many topics, from childhood to travel!

also, whether you're the kind of introvert who talks to your friends once a week or once a month (or once a year 💀) and then takes the rest of the time to recharge your energy, remember that it's quality rather than quantity and that it actually gets easier to slowly build your way up to more frequent interactions as you get more comfortable with each other!

🍋: i've always been known as shy and quiet. growing up in my culture, those were actually celebrated traits for a young girl, so i clung those parts of my personality for a long time. today, i'm still an introvert, but i'm not always quiet, and while i might sometimes feel shy, it is no longer something i am. hope these thoughts help you too, not necessarily to change your introversion, but to be a more balanced version of yourself with lots of friends who appreciate you for who you are 🤗

What people think flashbacks are:

• Intrusive images/audio of your trauma that make you emotional and might cause you to forget your surroundings

What they really are:

• Intrusive images/audio of your trauma that MAY OR MAY NOT cause you to lose track of your surroundings

• Extreme unexplained emotions

• Fight-or-flight that won't shut off for hours, days, or even longer, wreaking havoc on your body (insomnia, chronic fatigue, dysregulated digestion, IBS, gastric ulcers, autoimmune or chronic pain disorders) because of soaring cortisol levels

• A startle reflex that goes off at the tiniest sound

• Powerful urges to self-medicate, self-harm, etc.

• Heart rate soaring, heart palpitations, chest pain, difficulty breathing, symptoms like a panic attack

• Muscle cramps and spasms from tension

• Pain. Like, extreme pain, especially if your trauma involved physical injury. Your body is repeating what happened in full detail, including whatever your nerve endings picked up, so you can feel like you're being shot, stabbed, tortured, raped, or anything else, over and over and over

• Other phantom sensations, feeling pressure or touch or blows as if they're really happening

• Non-epileptic seizures that feel like hell but can last as long as they damn well please without killing you

• Unexplained headaches, stomachaches, vomiting, tingling, numbness, sexual arousal, etc.

• Dissociation, feeling detached from your body, zoning out, a feeling of flying/floating/rollercoastering, feeling unreal, not recognizing your body, visual and spatial distortions, viewing yourself from above or behind or from a distance instead of vision originating in your eyeballs like normal

• Stiffness, paralysis. Not being able to move, losing the ability to speak, maybe even the ability to breathe

• Dizziness, loss of depth perception, fainting

• Sudden, irresistible drowsiness

• Becoming childlike or confused, temporarily losing track of your identity or memory

• Sensory hallucinations, anything from visual to taste

• Nightmares, not just of the event but of endless bizarre and awful things that make you feel the same way the event did

There's more, and I'm sure every person has a unique combination of symptoms, but that's a start.

Use this stuff in your fanfiction. Post-traumatic stress needs realistic representation!